Author: Laura

Back To My Old Place

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It wouldn’t be Dublin if I wasn’t late 
And somewhere under the covers is a man I’d like to date 
And I think of him as I sit in this sojourn 
Do I always have to mourn
It’s been ten years since we talked
A decade since I walked 
My boots down the road
And everything slowed
Down, how do I get away
I cover my ears so I don’t hear what you say
Because you tell me that it’s over, over the hill 
And I know that you would kill
Just to feel alive
But somewhere in the dive
You found the water you wanted
You tell me and I can’t say that I amn’t daunted
By the weight of your magnitudinous pain 
And I just stand out in the rain 
So I can feel it on my skin 
But I never felt him 
Move with the beat
Touched his face when we’re feet to feet
And somewhere in a daydream, diamond true 
I think that I found you 
For a reason 
And for a season 
That lasted three hours long
I was the ocean in which you drown

The Bark Of The Tree

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How do people get like that, is it believing that the age you are 
Is anything more than revolutions around a star 
And I may be thirty three
But I’ve never been more free
As they put handcuffs on me
And tell me to preserve my dignity 
If I want to shine 
But I’m self effulgent and love is mine 
Though you wouldn’t know it from my visage
Don’t feel bad
It isn’t all your fault 
I kicked you out of the vault 
After letting the key slip into your hand 
And now I demand 
That you break like a wave upon my shore 
If you want me to love you more 
But it’s just like listening to the scene 
She wakes her own dream 
Up from where it lay
And I don’t get a say
About the perforate you opened 
And something is hoping
In what you never were to me 
I take a moment and I just be  

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Gone To Find An Atmosphere

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I search my memory for some remnants of pain 
But when I find them it is in vain 
Because they don’t reflect the sky like they used to 
And though I’m superhuman I still bruise too 
And you can see the blue through my translucent skin 
Is it wrong if I say it was because of him
Because he silences my voice, puts a hand over my mouth 
Til I don’t have a choice but to dwell in self doubt
Is this the gaslit anthem or just some season that falls
In the autumn down the halls
Of the ceremony we once were
Now I watch you bow to her
And I won’t stand in competition 
So you say to her the bitch is gone 
I can hear it in your tone
When you talk to me on the phone 
Through clenched teeth
As I try to share the beach
That got me through a sparser climate
But you are an intelligent primate
And you can make your own decision now 
If you break the heart that I allow
To fall into your hands
Is it my fault that slipping sands 
Can’t be stayed by frantic movement 
And when you find the Divine you cannot improve it

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The Silent Whisper Of Grace

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I thought God could only ever be found
In the complete absence of sound 
In the silence that descends 
On my room as the riverbends
From lavender to primrose and flame 
And I wake up from my name 
And it all seems so perfect, true
Til I met you
And it all cascaded down
You wanted to run my town 
So you could have a girl in the wings
And, my, you love the way she sings 
But you don’t understand her
And you demand her
To be as you would please
Up on her tiptoes or down on her knees
But neither one will ever be me
So I let you go free
Though I love you with all of my heart
I won’t make pain just to make art
Or love
Or fit like a glove
Into a biological cog
I dream of a fire burning a log
While we lie on the rug before it
And you know I would adore it
A blanket made just for two 
But it never was me and you
We spit fire into each other’s veins
And in the aftermath cleaned up the bloodstains
On the carpet where we fought
It was in darkness that the ring was wrought 
And cascaded into eternity
You asked me to burn with thee 
But I let go that crime 
And am absorbed into the sublime 
And even if they don’t get me here 
It doesn’t mean I’ll run to you dear 
If you make a fool of me 
When I just wanted life school and mystery 
To encompass all we were
I dropped the glass when I saw her
And it broke and shattered on the floor
You don’t even hide that you adore
Another pair of eyes
And my trust in you dies 
Slowly but surely in the awe 
That you could begin the Great Thaw

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Arms Around My Soul

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Did you make a mistake telling me to go to hell
And now all you want to shout is that you wish me well
After all the evidence to the contrary
Now you hold vigils and pray to Mother Mary
But you don’t find any answers there
At least not the ones that make you care 
And I spilled truth like ink 
All over the kitchen sink 
And you balked at its black, viscous flavour 
And I looked at you as though you were my saviour 
But you only saw the war 
And you crucified me for 
What you sought to keep 
Now it haunts you in your sleep 
And you can’t get my voice out of your mind
It whispers to you as to what you’ve left behind
And your bed is warm 
But you look so forlorn 
At the shape that sleeps beside you in the sheets
And you wonder if two people ever meet 
On a level playing field 
And I feel you hate me so I yield 
To the tide of going away
It isn’t indifference that made me sway
And let the ribbon float into the air 
It’s because I loved the man that was there 

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Fighting To Find Peace

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I feel the fatigue in his bones 
As he tries to close our homes 
To the oncoming wind
And he knows that he’s sinned
So he can’t hold my gaze
Should I tell him that there’s no one to save
When he tries to reach out to catch the lapel 
Of the girl who fell
Into his arms for a while 
And he could crack cameras with a smile 
And I watched it break across you so easy
It was as though the Universe was just there to please me
As I shut half of my soul down 
So I can go undetected in your town 
But eventually, the bells, they rang
And somewhere our song sang 
Out its own refrain
And it was as though a train 
Ran right through the gates
Now the boy thinks the girl hates
Him for what he is 
I just had to go so we could both live
Not merely survive
Sometimes I wonder if you’re still alive
Coz I dropped out of the scene
And I only meet you in my dream 
And I woke up at five in the morning
And something had me mourning
As I screamed “he’s dead”
They conspire to kill me instead
And it was never what I wanted
I wonder if the love we share is haunted
By the ghost of lives past 
Something last
But something just fall away
Like it was never made to stay
And he casts a glance my way
Would you dance if the record play 
Our song again 
Which one was it, the one about men
And how they fall short of the sky
When we are released do we die
Into an open expanse
And would our love get another chance
When the rote learned is done
After a hundred echoes around the sun

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The Approaching Age

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There is an approaching age
That I have not yet written on the page
It is the year of forty two 
And it is being free of you 
For once and for all
There was a freefall
And I can’t say I didn’t enjoy it
But boy it
Is too rich for my blood now
I’ve said so long for good somehow 
And you’re bitter in your harness
As you imagine my mini dress
In someone else’s hands 
But it’s all slipping sands
And he may have made me melt 
But it wasn’t the same as what I felt 
For you in the woods 
And the doctor wants to do my bloods
To make sure I’m not sick 
Sometimes I think they’re thick 
Because they never seem to catch on 
That I am already long gone 
And they can’t tether soul to a skin
Once it has resolved itself in him 
And I know she has trials of her own 
It’s just my true colours shown 
Are deep red and fragrant blue
And some of those were borrowed from you 
So if you don’t mind 
I’m gonna just be kind
To myself for a season 
And let you go without a reason 

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By The Skin Of My Teeth

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Did I miss out on utter defeat
By the skin of my teeth
Or was it all an illusion
Something I found out about in my confusion
And can they really read my mind 
Or has it all been left behind 
In the melee of all and sundry 
On a darkened Monday 
As I just ponder the truth
And what I escaped from in my youth
Is the dark a punishment 
Or is it just where the light went 
When it dived into a black hole 
There’s something of my soul 
That resembles that monument 
And the paper is bent 
In the place where I folded it for you 
You know, it wasn’t because I wanted to 
Let you go that I left
It was the sheer audacity of the theft 
That occurred in broad daylight
Now there’s nothing I can say to put it right 
Because on the 21st of December
I don’t know if you remember 
It was twelve years ago 
And you acted like you were in the know
And that the prophecy was in vain
But I can feel the coming rain 
Like a shadow over the valley
And I wanted to be your alley
Til you revealed your truth to me 
And I balked in indignity 
You have a woman on the sly
And you never even told me goodbye 
You always kept me in your heart
Like a second cow at the mart 
Just so you could feel secure 
One ready and able and the other pure
But untouchable as a star
As I ponder what you are 
Somewhere in the serene 
Of someone else’s dream 

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We Will Never Be Together

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We will never be together
Because I have studied the weather
And it doesn’t bode well for you 
I know the taste of hell too 
But I could never do what you did
Shake a knife and then hid 
Slink into the corner of some darkened hole
Like that is the place for your soul 
And I reside in the light
I kept trying to illuminate your night
And you resolutely proud 
Said it once out loud 
That you never want to see me again
And there’s only so much I will take from men
And an admission of defeat
Is the woman washing Jesus’ feet 
Like she is the downfall of man
And I know you’d take power any way you can
Simply because you’ve got none of your own 
Think you can invade my home 
And there will be no consequence
I smiled at you and then away I went 
And you won’t see me at your door
Not again, not anymore
You could write me a sonnet or a song
But it doesn’t change the way you do me wrong 
And the look of you in my living room 
Is preceded by the sound of doom 
And cashing out on the promise 
Is the part of me that keeps you honest
So go love your faithful bride
And forget that I am alive 
I’m not here to take you away
From a woman that would stay 
Through all your tripe 
I kiss your memory in the candlelight

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The Fear Of Life And Death

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There is a fear of life and death
And there is burning regret
That you have not got to live it right
When they take your whole life
And pulverise your wanton veins 
So they can see the stains 
On the carpet when they clean it up 
Then have the temerity to call it love
I know she doesn’t understand 
Though she claims she can read my hands 
When I do not show the deck 
I don’t know about truth but she knows a shipwreck 
And she seeks to break my bow on that hill 
But though she may kill 
All of what is alive in her 
And sacrifice what we were 
Because propriety and conformity
Are part of what earned her her degree
And that society
That she claims deference to 
Is no reference to 
What I am 
And she has a plan 
To lead with her heat maker 
And cry over the ones who forsake her 
And lock the gate on the years behind her 
I believed once but something said not to mind her 
Living in the broken brigade 
So I pull the switch and sit in the shade 
Of the great tree I love 
And let the light shine on me from above 
I guess you could call it sanctuary 
From the demons they launched at me 

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The Yearning

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There’s always a yearning for the male form
More than just a body to keep me warm
But a heart to beat outside my chest 
A love that knows me better than the rest 
And yet I stumble 
And it feels like love is a jungle
Coz I put my whole self out there
Then he tells me that I don’t care 
That I’m just making rhymes
And that it means nothing, just a sign of the times
So I retract
Say, fuck that shit, and I take back 
What I had given free 
Because you will not do that to me 
And his face drops 
You would have sworn I had called the cops 
On his ass
And nothing of my class
Betrays my sigh
For I will love him til the day that I die 
And in between 
When everything is a dream 
And plays upon the screen 
Of day to day
His lip quivers and he is not okay
But I just have to release him to her grasp
Because he says we cannot last
And with every attempt I make 
He just says that I am fake 
And I watch as the wave break 
Across the sand
He wants me to understand
And I do 
But it’s not getting through to you 
So I let you pass
And hope sometime that your star will dart
Across my sky again 
I give up on the realm of men 

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The Witching Hour

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There is a witching hour
And she lives like she has all the power 
To throw weight around 
And her sound
Is a fearsome blame
When she throws everything at my name 
Like it will stick 
And she says he’s just being a dick 
But I don’t believe it
I saw his heart on his sleeve, it
Will never escape my memory 
Even though their war got the best of me 
As they pummelled my frame 
Hit me like every blow was the same 
I will never betray
Him by lying about what he say
The truth spills
And time kills
Everything it touches 
Nothing there is but something fucks it
Up
And love
Is no exception 
Except there is Jesus and his Resurrection 
That reminds me there is truth
And there is not just youth
But maturity
I woke up to the best of me 

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The Brigade And The Cavalry

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She has to have noise
Like I have to have boys
Because when it gets too silent it blocks out the light
And she realises she is not alright 
So she scrolls on her phone 
Even though she is all alone 
And somewhere in the forest of tears
She finds the reason for all these years 
Spent in resistance to the cause
Spent in fury at a life on pause
And I can only dance
And hope that she gets a second chance
To be all she thinks she is 
But one thing’s for sure is that I am His
And she worries the thread
Frays it as she lies in bed
For the trouble of what amounts 
To the lies that she surmounts 
In order to maintain a coherent frame
And I cannot even mention his name 
Or it sets off a torrent of words 
To make sure the truth goes unheard
And that holy bird
Learns to live on a silent wing 
Because I gave him everything 
And I’m not taking it back 
Though they attack 
Me from every front and place
For daring to love his face
When the pretence drop 
And I am not 
The words she uses to condense 
Everything into the present tense 
It’s humiliating 
As if he’s just some guy I’m dating 
On the sly
And the reason why
Is more than she’s ever known 
She thinks she quenched it but the seeds that are sown
Only flourish in the darkest earth
And everything she uses to hurt
Me with 
For being a “bitch”
In modern parlance 
Is nothing, darlin’ 
I just brush it off
And whisper to him “all is not lost” 

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Lives And Weather

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The life I’ve always wanted receded into the distance
And when I reached for it I only felt resistance 
As I confessed my secret heart
He took his wound and tore me apart 
And with tears in his eyes
He ripped into my disguise
Til I stand with paper hands
And look at the sands
Slipping through the cracks
I know we can’t go back
From this
I though you might kiss
Me when you found out the truth
Like I know you wanted to in our youth
And I put you off
And you splutter and cough
And tell me you have no time
For what I found in the diamond mine
And soldered to a band of gold for you
In a past life I was the one to
Go down on one knee
Reversed genders, same eternity
And I propose a solution to the problem
Because together, all of the troubles, we’d solve them
And you’ve found another partner
And it would hearten her
If she knew how you talked behind her back
And the girls that you attack
In her name
I don’t mean to lay the blame
But is it just gonna be the same
As it was two hundred years ago
With your blonde hair and the way you kissed me slow

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The Sadness That Winds Me

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The grief crumples me like a deck of cards
And no one knows how hard
It got in the midst of the night
And I contemplated the death of the light
Coz everywhere I looked it was black
And the dealer stack
Everything against me 
My best friend resents me
And that person that wants to take me down
Looks like she runs this town
As she commands the sea
And turns the whole tide upon me
And as it rushes and consumes 
Something pulls me from those rooms
Into a place I’ve never been
But somehow had already seen
Maybe in a dream or through a past life
And every man looks for a wife
When he reaches a certain age
I just reach for the page
Because the immortal hue
Has stopped shining from you
It’s like you buried it somewhere
When you say that I just don’t care
And it’s impossible to get through to you
So I say goodbye too
As you hang up the phone
Could you just leave me alone?

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Writing Something I’m Proud Of

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I'm writing something I'm proud of, it's a saga
And you could just say I love the drama
Of being in and out of an emotional state
With boys that I don't even date
But could you equate
All that society requires
With the way they set the fires
In my heart just brimming full
And there are no strings they pull
Just help me to find the peace
That I thought did decease
With the passing of time
But passion is mine
And freedom and plurality
And loving for eternity 
If life can be encased between two events
The where'd you come from and where'd it went 
Anyway the dash 
Won't hold any cash 
You have to leave it behind
It, your heart and your mind
But your consciousness, where does that go
Is that not the reason you exist, so 
It outlives time and space
They appear in it and do not waste
Any of themselves on a fragrant breath
I'd tell you the truth but it hasn't happened yet

The Far Distant Shore

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I was a country girl to you 
When you let me go 
And I should have let you know
That there’s no far distant shore
You can traverse that would make me love you no more
And you’ve been closer to me than any man
And you’ve access to places that no one can 
Get into 
Because I know that you
Can be trusted
And I think I might have been busted
In New York City
And it may have been a pity 
That the stormed never rained a cloud
On a dream that would have made you proud
And there are vicissitudes that lie
Above the ground where we will die 
And fade into the earth 
I know it hurt 
But don’t let that blind you 
To the people that mind you
From what you seek
Don’t think that I am weak 
Just because I don’t play the fool
That I used to in school
To detract their eyes
From my truth among the lies
That abound
I answer when I hear your sound

The Hinterland He Hits Me With

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He calls me a bitch
A modern day version of being a witch
A vision that does not comply 
With someone else’s ride or die 
And he’s a sashay
When he looks at me that way 
But he’s found someone else
And it does no good for my mental health
To stare at them both
Through the windowpane of the stories you quote 
Me in the dark 
And it left a mark 
When you said you didn’t have the time to share
With someone who would care 
If you let her in 
So I let you win
And you hang up the line
Somehow I know that it will be the last time 
We speak for a while 
And your smile 
Seems stifled prude
And you act like you’re the dude
On the page you play
But I just pray 
You will grow
Up and out of the mindset you know 
And hit me with 
So keep her lit 
And let me breathe
I’m not the woman that you need

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Setting Context For Our Demise

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There’s a world that we live or it appears so 
And there are places we’re not supposed to go
But we always traversed that line
As though we could travel through time 
Back to when we begin
When it was just me and him 
On the bus
In open arms and open trust
But then he turns on me 
And his eyes fire daggers into the sea
As I’m looking through
The ocean soul straight at you 
And I feel your pain 
Fall on me like acid rain 
And I turn away
But there are things I still have to say 
If you would only listen 
But his teardrops merely glisten 
Like his skin in the sun 
Before I knew he was the one 
That would father my child 
Out in the wild 
Of what we were 
And you looked at her
With sadness in your gaze
And I wish I could save
You from your embark 
But you shoot at me in the dark 
As though I’m the enemy 
Instead of the one trying to steady 
The ship you roll on every wave
And the glass is clear but you pave 
Over the ceiling with concrete stone 
And you make someone else your home 
And that would be fine 
If you hadn’t stole my time 
In a whisper at the break of day
And I am okay
But I’m not great 
But I don’t hate
You at all 
I just say goodbye to the wall
You face in my direction 
All of this because of your selection 
In a different time 
Is loving you my only crime? 

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Are These Just Dreams?

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I think what it would be like to marry my man
And know that I can 
Touch him anytime I want 
And not live in the daydream haunt
Like a house that no one lives in 
When did it become about men and women
And the politics therein 
He calls me a bitch and I just look at him
Like the punk he is 
And the junk he’d kiss
If only he could get close enough 
Tells me that this is love
But we both live in a world on fire
And it never seems to tire
Of reminding us both
That we live by the coast
On a foreign shore 
If we think we love each other more 
Than the next pair 
And I stare 
At her hair 
As it flows over her shoulders
And its as though she could roll boulders
Away from the mouth of the tomb 
And I wonder if there would be room 
For me in that gigantic heart of hers
Lost in memories and what we were’s 
But it doesn’t bring them back
And the next country attack 
Us for what we represent 
How could hell be heaven sent 
If what they say is true
The proof is in the pudding, do you 
Eat it so you know it’s good
Or are you still lost in the wood
That seem to shelter your storm 
But the heat of the fire is still warm 
And it burns like your soul 
As it welds me back to whole
In our iron and wine
She looks into my eyes and I am fine 

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Visionary Appeal

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Would you fight and die 
Would you live the lie 
As they sell you war and peace
Then you watch your love decease
On the storm front of another day
And I didn’t make it that way
I’m just calling it as I see it
I couldn’t ever grow to be it
As Colin said that Africa’s a drain on society
And my blood boils through my sobriety 
Because those kids are living and dying 
And no one knows they’re even trying 
Or like that time Naiomi said 
Something about the way she felt about the ones who were dead
And I want to smack her full in the face
For all that she just lets go to waste 
And we may only be fourteen 
But it’s old enough to wake to the dream 
And I know there’s violence within me
I can feel it breathe when there’s no one looking at me
And I scream freedom into the air 
But it doesn’t start out there
You can’t build your inner harmony 
On bricks you throw at your enemy 
But it startles my soul 
How some people get old 
With the bitterness inside
And my pride 
Burns my skin 
Til I let it go into the arms of Him 
He who would take all from me 
Leave me with nothing and just let it be 
Now I hear the screams from the strip 
And hear the rifles they equip 
With bullets to end a life
Do they wonder if she was someone’s wife
When they take her down 
And it was years ago I wanted to drown 
Because I couldn’t bear the weight
Of all the accumulated hate
That seemed to weigh on me 
Someone I love is dead and there’s an Iraqi 
Girl somewhere on the planet 
Who’s lost and alone and dammit 
I won’t let this go to the wall 
I used to not be this tall 
But now I’m thirty three
And there is more that can come from me 
Than just a woeful gaze
I am no white woman to save
Populations from their demise
It’s just I see myself in their eyes
And I must admit my skin 
Was nothing to the British who’s politics merely skim
What they did here 
A few short years ago 
I guess as a humanity we learn slow
That we are all people 
Mosque or steeple 
We live under the same God 
And our bodies go back to the same sod
To nourish what is yet to come 
As we succumb 
To a passing age
It’s all I can do to control my rage
And write it on a page
If there’s merit to the sage
She must be a force for good 
I breathe out and the trees in the wood
Breathe me in 
When is it time for Love to begin

In The Land Where Death Is Real

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In the land where death is real
People lie and people steal 
People cheat and people thieve 
But it’s all coz they believe
In a sudden end and in separation
It is reinforced by years of education
Not only in the school
But by social rule 
Where they must obey
Everything their elders say
Only to grow up to be
A repetition endlessly
Instead of creative and new
And everything they swore they would do
When they were five years old 
No one has to be told
To be pilot, to be king
To be bird upon the wing
But you have to be sold 
On being bad, on being “bold” 
And every child knows
The phrase that everything goes 
The way it should be 
I love eternity
As it presents myself 
Amidst “mental health” 
Challenges, they say I’m crazy
But you know it doesn’t phase me 
When I’m twenty eight and in Dean Swift
But the captivity was a gift 
As they try to sit me down 
And say that I will drown 
In all that is unwell
It’s a byword for hell
But I just don’t buy
Everything they try
To sell 
It’s a secret I never tell
But I’m soaring high
Something can never die
And I will go to the lowest low
If it means that someone else’s dreams
Will wake before they shake 
By the bones and skin
It’s not foolhardy to trust in Him 
He who moves the sky into spacious understanding 
He who shows the way without ever demanding 
That you should follow suit 
Oh, the world that we pollute 
With our constant pain
That falls as acid rain 
Or bombs upon the children 
Instead of heartfulness to fill them 
With hope and with pride
And gratitude that they’re alive
I’m sorry to say
That going the wrong way
Means you must repent 
And all things are heaven sent 
Until you realise 
That every time someone cries 
It’s an echo of the sound 
That means God is around 
To show you where the deep 
Is something you can keep 
I didn’t know that I 
Was blessed until my
Whole world was shaken 
But just like in a dream I waken 
And suddenly realise 
That nobody dies
Not in the way we think 
But you don’t know water until you drink 
From that holy font
It is everything I want
And everything I never knew to ask 
I just dropped the mask 
And all was revealed
I guess you could say that I was healed

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Ripped From His Mother’s Arms

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I watch the Palestinian children die
And why do I get to cry
When their eyes are dry 
And a parent weeps over the corpse 
While soldiers laugh with no remorse 
And the commanders drop another bomb
Where has our humanity gone 
Do we not see ourselves in the other 
See our sister and brother 
In every battered storm front of war 
And I just look at her
And see the death that I know
The pain life has visited upon me slow
That must be experienced by the masses
Or as they’re designated - the lower classes
While I sit and sup my tea
Knowing full well that it could be me 
If I lived a hundred and eighty years ago 
When the British starved us slow 
To death 
And there is a memory that does not forget
It’s held like generational pain 
And I resonate with the acid rain 
That falls from white phosphorus plumes
Into lungs and living rooms
And burns into skin and sears 
People with images of those they hold dear 
Suffering and crucified
In every single one who’s died
Is the hidden heat 
Of the love that makes my heart beat 
And no claims of anti-semetic
Can make me subscribe to the rhetoric 
That justify the claims of war
When the dust settles what will all this be for 
And will we survive another spin of the wheel 
That makes us deny what we feel 
So we are capable of 
The worst of what I’ve listed above 

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Standing In The Heat

.Reading time 2 minutes.

***Trigger Warning – Mental Health***

I’m standing in the heat
And I feel the power of us meet
As we are seventeen and eighteen 
I learned that every dream 
I ever had
Could be tied to feeling bad
Because it all gets taken away from me 
One way or another by time or indignity 
And you were sent like a saint
Now it’s my blood you use to paint
Your facebook page 
And I feel a certain scent of rage
Colour my cheeks 
That you think I’m weak 
And need the help of my family
When I’ve always rebelled at what they wanted from me 
Now I’m held like a noose 
As though I’m the golden goose
That must be prized in case she is set loose
By her own hand 
But I wouldn’t worry, I am grand
And have no intention to jump from a cliff
It’s all held in a what if 
And the march of time 
Can steal everything but what’s mine 
God plucked me from the sea
When dying was all that was left of me 
And I fought my way to the shore
Gasping and what’s more 
I was tired and wrecked 
And something woke while I slept 
And in the bathroom I couldn’t bear
To look in a mirror that would tear
Who I was to pieces
Coz everything that’s born deceases
And my grandmother just left this earth
And I can’t seem to bear the hurt
I was fourteen 
And my scream 
Was silent and unheard
Except by that holy bird
Who alight on my shoulder
And somehow roll away the boulder
In the mouth of the tomb
I find my Jesus and resume 
My prostrations at the feet of my Lord
It’s not over till you hear the spoken Word
Made flesh 
And every regret 
Falls to the floor 
As I worship what I was born to adore 

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Losing The Love Of My Life

.Reading time 2 minutes.
What is the call of New York
And why is there a fork 
In the road and on the table 
And I am not able 
To leave it all behind 
Even if I must go out of my mind
Or be labelled as such 
Because I love you so much 
And I couldn’t be there when you died
Because the man asked me how I am and I cried
So I got locked up in St. Pat’s again 
And it may be the will of men
To contain what they don’t understand 
But I look at you and you just say “it’s grand, 
I won’t leave you a grá mo chroí”
And even though my broken knee
Falls to the floor
I know there’s more
Than just screaming into the air
“She’s not there, she’s not there”
And it was all I could do not to hit my head off the wall
And they console me but I fall 
Into their lap and rebel against the constraint
Of being okay with the colour she paint
Because everyone has their own way
But I must do what she say
If I’m not to be medicated
And I may be educated 
But it has been the work of my life
To make sure I don’t become a wife
And go down with the ship 
Or the forests that they equip 
With cutting trees
And the birds and the bees 
Buzz around my head
But I would give it all up just to lay in bed
And mourn 
And look forlorn 
Because all that shattered glass
Never got me an A in class
It only ever drew blood
Now I’m standing in the wood
Trying to catch the soul that escape 
And the red cape 
Couldn’t stop the passage of time 
And my only crime 
Was trying to pause the air
Now I look at your chair and you’re not there

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Indeed, By The Sink

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I dreamed about you last night
You were as fragile as a butterfly
And it was like in real life
I just had to watch you die 
And yet you do not leave me here
You kiss me like you always did, dear 
On my forehead or on my cheek 
And when I used to feel weak 
I would run to your side
I would hide 
And then let you find me 
And you didn’t mind me 
Being a little bit strange
And all the peace rearrange
To atoms that say that you are gone 
But your song
Will have life as long as I am breathing 
You were always something I was needing 
As I would lie into you
And at fifteen I watched you
Washing the dishes at the sink 
And all I could do was think 
Of what would happen the day you died 
If I would break like waves of tears I cried 
And I insulated myself 
Under the veil of mental health
Because I can’t shatter again
And there are legions of men 
Who would take my hand 
And make me “understand”
What true love means
But it’s insubstantial as the stuff of dreams 
And you are wholly really
And even though you’ve left I still feel 
You in my veins and blood
Like when I was lying in the wood
And I felt the soul of the trees
Kiss me when I’m on my knees
And I know that your prayers save me 
Even when I cave, we 
Will always be a two by two 
And it’s not up to someone forgetting you 
It’s something that you always are
You are not on some far distant star
You are in my heart
And in this instant we are not apart 

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Emotionality

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I get slated for being emotional and sincere
There was that time I told you I hold you dear
And you attacked and ripped my hands
Away from your paper thin heart and the sands
Flow out of your hourglass
As you try to make a thing last
That never will 
Because time will kill
The bodies that you preserve
And the girl that you serve
Must one day kiss you for the last time
And my only crime 
Was knowing there will come a day
When one or the other of us will go away
And I can’t speak forever when I see the horizon
And I don’t know what you have your eyes on
As you stare into space
Meanwhile I just stare at your face
Looking at the grass
And time will pass
But something stays the same 
There is a love that will not lay the blame 
Not even when your dripping venom
Tries to make an enemy 
Of me
Then return to eternity
Where it can fester its wound 
I saw it all and the doom 
Ate me up from the middle 
And the best part of me may be hidden
But you can find it if you look 
You don’t have to do anything by the book 
You swear by
And I hear you cry 
In my dreams
How does a man come apart at the seams 
When you just tell him the truth
That you idolise our youth
And that time will also be the proof
Of what cannot be destroyed
We are not just girls and boys
We are immortal souls
Water though the wave rolls
And breaks onto the land 
I wonder if I take your hand 
Would you be a friend 
Coz true love will never end 

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The Tears That Flow

.Reading time 2 minutes.
The tears that flow
It’s been nearly twenty years since you let go
And people tell me to move on
But how do I ignore the space where you’re gone
A beacon of love and trust
And I know they just aren’t fussed
Coz to lose a grandmother is par for the course
Something common, like weddings and divorce
But no one told me what it would be like to have you ripped
From the fortress I had equipped 
With everything I had
So nothing bad 
Could happen 
And you were just napping
In the kitchen when Rocky lay down by the settee 
And I had had fourteen years when you showered love on me 
And I know I am closer to the grave
Than the point that could save 
You from the monsters that eat your soul 
But somehow I know that Jesus made you whole 
And the cancer spreads
I’m crying in bed
But there’s nothing I can do 
I can’t heal you
At least not yet 
But there’s something I will never forget
Like when you told me good things come to those who wait
And I trudge through the hate
Coz I know your advice is true
And there was wisdom that had its home in you
And you made rhubarb tart for us all
I take a place by the wall
But you wink at me 
And save the biggest piece and for free
You offer me the whole damn world
I’ll always be your girl 

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The Broken Record

.Reading time 1 minute.
The broken record plays the tune 
And I dance coz I’m the only one in the room 
And it’s effervescent gold
But I still do what I’m told 
When they get the whip and chain
And scream like they’re making it rain 
When they bellow at me 
But it only fans the fire sacramentally 
As I kneel in the temple of my own being 
And no one can take away what I’m seeing 
Like that boy I professed my soul to 
He told me where to go but you 
Can’t make me leave home
Even if you leave me there all alone 
It’s my house anyway
And though I’m sad that you couldn’t stay
I’m not gonna make you play
Some game that means you do what I say
If you don’t want to 
Go do you 
And go do her 
I don’t know what we were 
If the whole time 
You were living the crime
You kept from me 
And our history 
Is a greyed out, redacted document 
Kept in the file of “once heaven sent” 

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The Ocean That Sees

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Her heart shatters like glass
Like images of our past
When I am eighteen years old
Listening to the stories they’ve told
And it’s “Brothers and Sisters” on the screen 
As I try to hold onto all I had been 
All this time 
But it breaks apart everything that’s mine
And I found I couldn’t speak 
I thought it was coz I was weak 
And depressed and schizophrenic 
They told me the car just needs a mechanic 
And she gets out a wrench 
And that year I wasn’t on the bench
I was the captain of the team 
When we won on the field of dreams 
And I wrote out the speech I would make to the girls 
Before we would live like we were each other’s world 
And my sister told me not to over think it 
But we won the cup and now we drink it 
Every single time the water flows
There is something that never goes
And I’m sure they think I don’t care
Because I walked out of there
But it was just because I saw
The way that the law
Could be bent in our favour 
And I am nobody’s saviour 
But I will let the light flow through me
Like I did in the years when time was free
And we wore yellow and blue 
I don’t know if you know that you 
Mean so much to me 
Spanish for beautiful and infinity 

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The Secret Store

.Reading time 1 minute.
The secret store 
Are all the stories I kept before
I found a blank page
To hold all my rage
And people are multifaceted 
I don’t think she acted it 
When she told me to go fcuk myself 
That day in her presence
And the mark still leaves a crescent 
Shaped bite on my arm 
I never thought she would harm 
Me in that way
But that’s the price you pay
For loving the games you play
And leaving it all on the field 
The way the fortress might yield 
If I could bridge the gap 
But I never could read the map
That led to the heart of her
And I could write mountains about what we were
But am I just looking to the past 
For a mast
I can use to set sail 
And does my courage fail 
When she stares at me down the barrel of the gun 
Like she’s got a single shot and I am the one
The bullet is for 
And a closed door
Hurts more than the blood in my veins 
Pouring out of me like the rains 
Upon the ground I know 
He didn’t get it so I said it slow
But nothing caught on 
And he tells me he is gone 
But I see his shadow at the door
When he thinks the light won’t catch him anymore 

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Like A Drowning Man Needs Air

.Reading time 3 minutes.

***Trigger Warning – Mental Health***



The boat rocked when the wave shook me to my core
And I kindly showed her to the door 
When she took out the dagger and it caught the light
And I could see in the night
That she never wished me well
And it rained holy hell
On my town 
I contemplated what it would be like to drown 
In a nearby lake 
Would she come to my wake 
Like the whole community does when someone dies
Then someone’s loved one cries
And I couldn’t do that to them 
But I wouldn’t like to be back there again 
Because it was as pitch as the blackest dark 
And it left a mark 
The scar is what I cherish now 
Because the truth got to me somehow
And I don’t understand the Lord but he saved my life
And he doesn’t want me to just be a wife
And surrender and go down 
Like everyone does everywhere around
It’s like you hit thirty
And everything you thought was dirty
Suddenly looks so damn appealing 
And there were comics that I was stealing 
The day I followed a trail 
And I swore my soul was not for sale 
But I danced on the edge of a cliff
Balancing on a what if 
And it mattered to me less than naught
But what if I get caught
So I commit myself to an institution 
Maybe they can straighten out my convolution
And I’ve always had a strong constitution 
But it doesn’t hold up under this pressure
There’s nothing like a doctor to stress ya
Especially when they’ve got all the power
But I am not one to cower
So I just run to the sea
But they’re still watching me 
As I find a corner of the room 
That doesn’t sink with the sound of doom 
That echoed around that place
And I couldn’t show my face
To anyone at all 
I just remember the length of the hall
When you’re walking it alone
And they’ve taken my phone 
So I follow Sinéad and pace the route 
But they jot down that I follow suit 
And it’s all just a case study to them
And they assure me it will happen again 
If I forsake the pills
And the bending of my wills
But I’m about done with this
I’m still thinking about Jack’s kiss

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The Mute And The Foal

.Reading time 2 minutes.
It’s impossible to stay angry at you
When you flick that gaze at me 
And I swore that it would be us
For eternity
But the dials switched and changed
The atoms rearranged 
And it seemed like our history
Would stay in the past
Like me getting all those A’s in class
And they called me names
Like all I am is brains
And Deirdre, she cut me down 
Made me wanna run clear outta that town 
And she would pick away at me 
Til I had enough and infinity 
Isn’t far enough to be away from her
Even though I mourn what we were
And I know her depths go unknown
And some of them were shown 
To me too
And there were parts that were true
But the lies they perforate 
And before I know it it’s that date
Again
And men
Seem like my only salvation 
As I make x and y balance the equation 
And I thought I had struck gold
In the ground or at the end of the rainbow
You turned out to be the same as her though 
It was all shits and giggles 
But the next thing the girl wriggles
And you’re gone 
And I say so long
To all that I thought you were
Enjoy the business you have with her
I’m sure it’s mighty fine
But just don’t try to waste my time
Saying you’re my friend
When I only ever saw the end
Of what you were trying to sell
And I wish you both well
But I’m not gonna gallop that pony
And I could be wrong but you’re full of baloney

Crime And Punishment

.Reading time 1 minute.
How about goodbye
And you made me feel like I wanna die
So I close the door
Pretend I don’t love you anymore
But I do
It’s always you
Amid the curtains pulled
And the pain, it dulled
As the years passed
But I wanted it to last 
So I would have something to hold onto 
But your love stuck like glue 
In my heart
And though we are miles apart
And time and space
None of it is gone to waste 
Because I would do it a thousand times over
Just to find your four leafed clover
Growing in the grass
And I loved to learn in class
But nobody taught me a lesson like you 
I’m just not sure I wanted to
Let you go 
And I know
That everyone dies 
And the child cries
When her grandfather passes 
And it’s the wisdom of the masses
To mourn and then move on 
But there is a hole where he is gone 
And nothing can repair it
I dare it
To swallow me whole
But my soul 
Just grows more vast 
And life asked
Me to be free
So I let go and eternity
Came to kiss my lips 
In the middle of an eclipse 
Where all was night 
But in the darkness shone a light 
And nothing can drench it 
Nothing can quench it
No pulling thread
Can unmake where I made my bed

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The Futility Of Helplessness

.Reading time 1 minute.
Watching a father watch his children die
And I don’t even cry
It’s like I’ve been desensitised 
Because are they even alive
If their skin isn’t white
And I know it’s all shite 
But they believe it’s true
They don’t see me in you 
Anymore
And every closed door
Is an opening somewhere else
Your health is your wealth
And I watch it wane
But I fear death in vain 
Because a light has come on
And once it does the darkness is gone 
And the midnight ensue
Is nothing to the colours of you
As they fly on the wall
What is it at all
That makes the world go round 
In the absence of sound
And eternal flame 
Is the Word the same as its name 

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Realisation

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Will you ever know how much you mean to me
Did you know you were a dream set free
Into the open expanse
I watch the leaves dance
In the wind
And have we sinned
By leaving the door open 
You were barely coping 
When I swung in the gate
And your hate
Is rocket fuel 
Do you live the dual 
Race to the bottom
But I haven’t forgotten 
The way you just move with the breeze
And on my hands and knees
I pray to the God you were 
Before I found out you were with her

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The Epic Of Mine

.Reading time 2 minutes.
The epic story of the oddessying hero
If you want a race I’ll make it to zero
Before you do if I find the words
I’ve my feet on the ground but I’m away with the birds
And I found myself locked in a room
They tell me I’ll be out pretty soon
But it’s like they’re caging the beast
And it’s roaring for a feast
Tearing me to pieces inside
I drop the walls I used to hide
And all of the people were magnificently pure
And I’m integrity that just endure
As they’re listing reasons I’m not well
But I’m full of a secret I daren’t tell
As I wonder why the guy is wearing shades
As we meditate upon a page
And it’s like a story that’s never been told
I wonder will I weather it when I get old
Or will these days leave a track
On skin that can’t take it back
And I’m always waiting for her to care
But she just shakes me outta her hair
And tells me it’s for the best
So I set sail on my own quest
And if I’m a hero why do I die
On my own with a sigh
Then pull myself up onto my knees
To answer all the pleas
I hear in my mind
I wonder at the life I left behind
And if anyone will set out on my track
Coz, Lord knows, I’m not coming back
And I’m weary but I’m also full of hope
The kind of optimism that copes
With every setback that waylays
And I’ve learned to take a grain of salt on days
As it meanders in a thousand ways
Across plains and by open bays
Into the avenues I know
And this train never slows
Only takes me by the hand and shows
The light the window throws
And if you’re indifferent to my plight
You gotta know that I’m alright

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The Forces I Keep At Bay

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I’m not going making an enemy out of you
Not even if the whole world wants me to
And you’ve got the force of the women’s cause
And I’m on a stereo hitting pause
Because I can’t cope with what I see
That you had her as well as me
And I know it’s lame and it’s a whole joke
And I can’t get by on what I wrote
But I see you sometimes in the air
And feel the space where you’re not there
And everything’s like an answered prayer
And you’re the angel by which I’d swear
But the mountains roll down to the sea
And I am nothing if not free
Of everything you got to be
I don’t know if you were looking for eternity
But it was forever on the grass
Just the kind that doesn’t last
And you were the rain that lashed
And all the diagrams that smashed
But somehow you made a different choice
And I decided to hide my voice
In the realms of empty pages
I’ve written odes to the ages
Up against an empty wall
And I was running down the hall
Just to catch the trail of you
Til I realized you don’t want me to
So I just stop and stand still
Feel the force of all that will
Strive to keep heaven away
But it’s one shore I can’t hold at bay
And the march of time just goes on
Will there be a day when we’re both gone
Or does something just endure 
I call it the wave of pure
Consciousness that just abides
There are oceans that survive
The still and empty way you move
And if love is just a point we prove
Then there’s nothing left to lose
I don’t have a choice but it’s you I choose

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Diagrams Refract

.Reading time 3 minutes.
So I guess his girlfriend hates me now
Because I let him in and allow
Him to take me to dance
Give love at first sight a second chance
And I won’t refuse him
If he knocks on my door
Prove to God 
Who loves him more
And I know you’ve made him happy
And I don’t envy the task
But there is still so much 
I’ve got to ask
You both coz I wanna be friends
With the two of you
Don’t doubt that
I love you too
Some kind of sister 
In the scene 
You were his twenty something dream
And I can only catch a glimpse of him
Through the photographs in which I swim
That you took
And I wrote a book
About the way feelings clash
Hot and cold fronts, smoke and ash
But I don’t want a showdown with fragrant air
I’m glad that you were there
To catch his tears and resound his laughter
And you’re cute but I know what you’re after
As you fool a second glance
In a sort of romance
But you gotta know
I gotta say
That I’ve loved him
In every way
Picked up the crumbs he dropped on the path
Be the beauty in the aftermath 
And I don’t want an enemy
Or someone taking swipes at me
I just want to kneel as I confess
I envy you in that dress
And all that I missed out in the fire
You’re burning earth on the pyre 
And I’m sure a furnace or two
Knows the depths and breadth of you
And you look at each other
But he is my soul brother
And I gotta let him know
Let the love show
In the diagrams refract
Is it okay if I come back
And be the mirror to reflect
Not something circumspect 
But deep blue truth
That professed secrets of our youth
And he used to be an emotional kid
And I was straight laced, he took the lid
Off of all I can’t contain
I’m singing summertime in the rain
As we share each other’s speech
And he’s tall and got reach
And I know in his secret heart
He has held onto you
I know what he wants to do
And I can’t escape
From the flash of a red cape
As it floats in the mirror
And I was so blind I didn’t see her
As I made an overview of you
I mapped the things that you could do
And I give up the fight
Coz I wanna be a good person and alright
And I feel if you knew all there was to know
There is no way you would ever go
I keep hidden the best part of me
But I’m opening up so you see
All that’s left of what we were
It’s not a matter of me or her

Burning Regret

.Reading time 1 minute.
It’s a grievance, this hate that’s burning inside
And my gratitude for being alive
Is unsustained
And it rained 
On the sunniest day
Everyone asking if I was okay
But I can’t have you 
Though it’s not as if I even wanted to
And you’re far away
I only came to say
I think you’re awesome, okay
And you fire back a retort
I guess you were a little short
In the olden days
And there are so many ways
I can’t have you 
At least not like you wanted me to
And I sigh
Is forever just a long goodbye 
As the darkness calls
Leads us down miscellaneous halls
To where it all began
And I ran
For my life 
You want a wife 
And I’m all open seas
You’ll never get me on my knees
Begging to hold
The absence of which you scold
Like a never say die
I know I caught your eye
It’s just your heart is free
And I don’t want it to capture me
And let all my toil
Simply going off the boil
Because this love is real
And there are things that will heal
If you want them to
If you let me I will hold you
In my steady gaze
I don’t need no hero to try and save
Me from what I already am
I guess it’s less without a plan 

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Spitting Games

.Reading time 1 minute.
Is she just a fake ass bitch
Or am I the judge and just rolling with it
Like a ball down the hill
It’s good weather so take your fill
Of all the summers that you missed
I found the photo where we kissed
For the very first time
And no crime
Could ever amount to the trouble you gave
There is nothing left to save
As I keep my best for another day
And I still like you okay 
Even though faraway is green
You still hold the keys to dream 
Out into another sphere
You’re far away but very near
And close in my heart
Don’t start
To berate me once more
So, I’m not something you adore
And the store
Don’t hold the half
Of the feeling of you waking my laugh
Up from inside
And I hide
Away in folds and creases
You look at me and the grim releases
What had been held so true
I’m just wishing for some time with you
Some ages or some years
Some eons and some tears 
To cry with a happy note
You’re my favorite one to quote
When everything is flowing with the breeze
Living a life of unconquerable ease
In the lush growth
I am quiet so I left a note
To tell you I am here
And that I love you, dear

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The Divine Death

.Reading time 1 minute.
I keep holding out
For the Divine Death
The one that time
Cannot forget
You can all it enlightenment 
You can call it liberation
But I woke up
From my own education 
Only to go on
Picking up stones
Going from place to place
And calling it home
And I’ve always been a rambler 
Out for adventure
But I’m struggling
With my own self censure
Coz there are lines
With which you do not agree
And I can only point it out
I can’t make you see
And you’re drinking 
Bottled water from the tap
And I keep wondering
What are you at
But it’s a mystery to me
All these flicking pages
And I’ve been wandering 
For ages and ages
Trying to catch your trail
As it winds through the undergrowth 
I’m tired walking
The less travelled road
Searching for something
I cannot find
Missing what
I’ve left behind 

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One To Remember

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It’s one to remember 
This night we’re losing our clothes
I know that you weren’t
The path I chose
But I still feel
So entwined
And I’ve a tendency
To call you mine
As you break out in laughter
It’s a sudden joy
I think I’ve fallen 
In love with a boy
As he innocently regales
Me with tales
Of him at the pit
I didn’t know back then
But this is It
And I’ve found my shore
The holy one that I adore
And years pass
Like we’re flicking a canvas
Like you’re wearing shoes
And holding up like Atlas
And I know you’ve a woman 
And I respect her claim
But I still love
The sound of your name
Against mine
And we’re just wasting time
Getting lost in love
And the Holy Spirit is a dove
To come down on me
Do you think we could be
Or is it just something
I have to let go
It’s not kosher, I know
And you’ve got so many flaws
And my winter never thaws 
To break out into spring
But I would give you everything 
If you don’t think to ask
I’ll let you in, at last

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The Words She Uses To Hurt Me

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A full grown woman in my thirties
It’s something I never wanted to be
It smacks of decay and ingenuity 
And they want me to confirm their lies
But growing up means your spirit dies
If you conform to identity 
And let them make a role of me 
And she shouts me down 
So I start to drown 
In all they don’t want me to know
They scream to just let him go 
But how do they not see
He and I are one eternally
Somewhere in a field afar
We are joined underneath a star
And we may never be a heteronormative pair
He’s restrictive and I don’t care
About the might he threatens to unleash
I could always sense the beast
That hid beneath the calm facade
And this is not about making you feel bad
It’s about trying to express the truth of my soul 
But they just smack me til my eyes roll
And I pull myself out of that shit 
They’re not the cycle I’m spinning with 

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Death And Poetry

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Death comes to take everything I love
And I lose the glove 
I wore when I was younger and blue
And it was all I could do to hold onto you
But I had to let you go your own way
Because there’s nothing that I can say
To stem the tide 
Of that which cannot abide
In the tome of fate
I never gave in to hate
But I couldn’t hold the love you carry
And the boy I want to marry
I ran him off
Because I couldn’t pay the cost
That it would require
And now the whole world is on fire
With the hate that burns
As the aching turns 
It on its axis and spin
And once I was with him 
But things change and so did he 
So I let go and now I’m free

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The Graveyard

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We could all be under earth pretty soon 
Am I the only one who hears the noise in the room
When it’s silent as hell
And there’s all these people wishing me well
But I can’t help but feel that it all pull asunder
The rattling windows to the sound of thunder
As it all caves in
And who would win
When the triumph is naught
It’s like some disease that we’ve caught
That makes us capable to kill
And at will
The degenerate
Comes to pull apart the state
Of affairs and of the mind
I swore I would leave no one behind 

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Akk & S

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I just wanna die with you
It would be perfect poetry
Romeo and Juliet and their symmetry
As forces try to pull us apart
But they can’t kill what is all heart
And tomorrow is a day no one can promise
But you looked in my eyes and you were honest
As you spilled truth like rain
And I just wanna stand in the waterfall again
As it brushes my skin
I was never at home til I met him
And suddenly the sky
Turns and I must watch my lover die 
On the battlefield 
But the victory goes to the one who yield
But for all the weight of my storm
I could only ever keep you warm 
For a certain length of time 
And now all I’ve left of you
Is something made of us two
Growing under my skin 
I could never replace him 
With someone new
I just wanted you 
To know the truth 
The prisoner and her youth

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Chat Bot Shots

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There’s a war in the chat bots
And it’s all about taking shots
And not seeing each other’s points of view
I adopt the one that you 
Profess that you own 
But now I’m grown
I’ve been born and raised
And its something that I’ve praised
I don’t need no sea to open 
I don’t need to get by on coping 
I need to release my hands and see
That in the realm of grey mystery
There is a fleck of colour 
In the absence something fuller
Makes itself known 
And though the game may have been thrown 
Something still resides in my soul 
It’s more than an ad at the Super Bowl 

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Pink Parade

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I’ve learned not to fight with the feminists
They never seem to get the point 
It seems more about our differences
Than the ways that we are joined
And the women wanted to join the march
But their shirts weren’t made of starch
So they couldn’t play
I watched them turn the floats away
Because if you stand in the way
Of Roe V. Wade
You can guess the dragon that will be slayed
And I know it goes against the grain 
But I cannot triumph the rain 
When it falls upon bitter hands
Who claim that they own the lands 
When they only till the field 
And the feminine must yield 
To the greater flow of life
That doesn’t mean I’d be a wife
Or subservient to a man 
But I just never can 
Let myself believe 
That I grieve
Over sufferings that mean nothing at all 
And when you talk to the wall
It does not talk back 
So I walk away with all I lack 
And leave that shit behind 
They don’t control this mind

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The Chase

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There is the fear that death could separate us
And that I have to rush to you
To profess my love
Til above
Reaches in its hand 
And takes away my only man
The only one I’ve ever sought
To give myself to beyond the taught
And you are serene and beautiful 
But your skin’s as thin as cotton wool
And the people are all saying I’m crazy
But it doesn’t faze me
I just take a step back
And their affection feels like an attack
On summer wine
As they take my time
And make it theirs 
Hands up if anyone cares 
I know they will say they’ve got the best of intentions
It’s just that they never mention
You, anymore
And I wonder if that closed door
Has slammed shut
If only I could get out of this aperture of slut
As they all seek to cling
Coz, God knows, they’d hold onto anything 
And I open out my palm
As the bell rings an alarm 
In the hall of calling like it is
And is it a surprise that I’m still his
In spite of the battleship
That is equipped 
Somewhere along the shore
To hammer at my door
Like a man knocking on my breath
But it hasn’t opened to him yet

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