He offers me the chain
And I must exchange the key in vain
And tie myself to him
Bow my head and let him win
Always coz he’s a man
And he only ever can
Reign when he has a subject
To command
And underhand 
He slides the lock
But I am not
What I appear to be
And you won’t cage the beast
That rages in me
Though she’s very blue
When she’s estranged from you
And your wilderness gaze
There’s nothing in your eyes that faze
Me when you’re true
But you lie so much it’s like it isn’t you
And you postulate
And educate
I nod my head
And I can see the bed
Light dollar signs in your eyes
But the poor guy tries
And tries to gain 
What he already has and the rain
Sings its own symphony
Do you think you can change me?

Kissing sweet men 
Makes me roll in the clouds
And the bedsheets speak your name 
As I place the blame 
On you for all you could not be 
But maybe the problem was me
As I took aim
When you said it’s just not the same 
And I cry out; why
And you say; we’re both gonna die
Someday
And it’s okay
I dry my eyes 
And we kiss in the middle of goodbyes 
That I can’t bear to countenance 
Do you think we could have one last dance
As you hold my hand in the street
And I think that the day we meet
Might be just passé
Who the hell is she anyway?
You sigh
And I can’t meet your eye 
In the winter wilderness snow
I just don’t know how to let you go
Into the arms of wife and child
And it’s so wild
That we came from nothing
To be the stars
And I realise why I was chasing cars
Coz your number plate spelled L-A-Z 
And suddenly 
You’re talking to me
Like a bolt outta the blue
I didn’t know I would lose my heart to you
Almost ten years later 
Why did you date her 
Right in front of my face
And, damn, all the time that we waste
Trying to put the jigsaw piece into place
And it’s nobody’s fault and everybody’s business
When you spilt the beans
I was watching when you posted Dreams

Who is a writer
The one who picks up the pen
And gets inspired by men 
There was a guy called Daz
And I walked through a sea of lads
Just to meet his eye
In a place where love can never die
And they call me goofy and they call me a fool
And Americans call college school
But I met him in the hall
I ran the length of the wall
Just to whisper through the crevice
Do you wanna be an absolute menace 
With me
And free
Our blood pulses in our veins 
As we talk each others names
Casually, in conversation 
And the elation
Is not one sided we
Have made our own version history
Somewhere in the great unfold
You were my field of gold
When I laboured in the dark
And I have memories of Nutgrove park
Right by the church
Loving the way it hurt
Coz it meant that you got in
But you are the colour of him
When he breaks the sun across the sky
Something of us will never die
As red as a shepherd’s morning
I took it as a grave warning
To be on my guard
And when it got hard
I hid my loving part
From the work of art
That is your eye
When it’s locked into my lie
As it’s beating true
The heart in me was made for you




Photo Credit: Jason Blackett on Unsplash.com

Chasing poems
Are you on your own
And could this reach out to you
I let me heart go out to the place where you
Stood still in the window 
And I pile on the sarcasm but still though
If everything’s in the present moment
Then you are mine and I own it
Like a race car I drive
When I pray that you’re still alive
Coz I’ve stopped staring at a screen
To tell me I could find my dream
In a man many miles away
I should’ve told you I want you to say
With me forevermore
And I only showed you the door
We all must walk through some day
Bodies are born to go away
But love stays true and real
I look at you like it’s no big deal

He has a heart vacancy
And there’s a light that goes on 
When a car leaves the place 
I loved for so long
And she’s not what she seems 
As she wields the magic
But somewhere in her eyes
There is something tragic
And I feel it ache my bones
When we are all alone
And I just wanna touch
The place she hurts and heal
What the boy who broke the wave to steal
The water from the gods
Found a woman who was the Lord
Of her own domain
We’re both standing in the rain
But it is good and free
And she means the world to me
With her jet black hair
And stare
As we young and twenty two
The city between me and you
Now all that has faded
As the look, it ages 
More than the picture crumbles
He finds her vest and fumbles
With the ties that bind
And he is on my mind
Most mornings in the afternoon
The presence light up the room
As cacophony becomes just another sound
He’s just a buddy I want around 
In the melee 
I think love could be more than setting you free 

They are monsters in the making
And I wonder if they’re faking 
The lines they draw in the sand
Because someone somewhere takes a hand 
And promises someone love
But the same palm becomes a boxing glove
As it curls into a fist
And I missed the memo to the place where I exist
As something other than old defeat
I washed my hair at his feet
And he just sighed his heart
And I could hear him fall apart
In my peace
And I know what he wants to cease
But the trouble can’t sustain 
Itself in this rain
And if I had to I would do it again
Just to catch the tear from his eye
My love, there’s a Love that will never die 
And I move out of the place obscure
I know it’s pure
And precious and bold
But you have a heart of gold 
Hidden beneath the fray
My dear, are you okay
Under that weight
I want you to know that the hate
Isn’t all it seems to be
Trust in Him and trust in me

There’s no point reasoning with them 
Because they cannot see sense
And the world is living in the present tense
Of rules and order
What is in a border
When you can’t cross it
And you can’t imagine the loss, it
Steals away the very heart
Of living, the breathing’s the taking part 
As I beg to stem the flow of tears
A heart breaking as we count the years
Like speckled eggs
I drain the cup and the dregs
Sit in my throat
Beware of who you choose to quote 

I see the face of the innocent child
Burned into my heart so wild
And they both take sides
Take love and take lives 
From our hands 
And the sands 
Bear no trace of the sea
But if it was up to me
I’d reach over and grasp a hand
Though there’s no way I can understand 
What you’re going through
But you’re not alone, you
Have to hear my voice
Retribution is not a choice
That anyone should have to make
But the glass breaks as the ground shake 
Can the turmoil be stemmed 
Like the flow of blood from wounds again

Am I non binary or am I just free
Coz when they say woman are they talking to me?
Coz I’ve always been at home as a girl
But the 12,000 petalled lotus exists to unfurl 
And I’m no longer limited to this body
The road you take may be a little bit shoddy
But it’s been well tested, tried and true
And it’s the part leading to the heart of you
And I’m all worn down like cogs in pieces
Time’s the only thing that never ceases
Until you find a home within yourself
They tell me that it’s bad for my mental health
Coz I’m not moving all a flurry 
I look around and, well, what’s the hurry
And they had me tied up and locked down
Til I’m in a room and I want to drown
With the noise of all that is a sin
I hold back the worst coz it is a din
And find the peace that passes all understanding
You come to realise what they are demanding 
When they speak to you in their treble tones
Can you drop the bass when you’re all alone
Or is it something that needs a plot
Don’t be the person that time forgot
Walk in your way unto the sky
And never, in this life, be afraid to die
Just hold out hope and have faith
In all that will not make you wait

Something within me cries for your soul
You’re the story that’s never been told
And the mountains that stretch from the valleys and hills
Overcome the strength of both of our wills
As we strive to get somewhere
But darling I still care
About how you are
I wish you every star
That could ever shine in the Heavens
Are we just a pair of elevens
With my hand in your pocket
The jeans you wear, my heart a locket
That you wear around your neck
I gave up and we were wrecked
From the chasm to the abyss
And it’s years that I’ve thought to miss
Your easy smile, your breezy way
And I’m not lost for what to say
Coz in your company I’m complete
And we play a game with our feet
And how you wanted me scared me deep
I’m not sure if you’re what I can keep
Coz I dream of something safe and secure
You look at me and the love is pure
And I’m saddened by the wasteland that stretches between
Was together just a dream
Or something that sets fire to timber
You’re something éile and I am a cinder 
Of the fire I used to be
You kinda wash the shore of me
With your tidal wave 
And intent to save
You’re every hero in every story
All I want is that you adore me
And fill in the answer to every blank
If we are together who am I to thank
The fates, the seasons, the air, the sky
There were days I was afraid you would die
Before I ever got to see you again
I’m okay if you’re just a friend
But what do you want, do you want more
And you always play the perfect score
In rhythm, in time, in tune with the beat
And did I already mention the game with our feet
It makes me laugh, it makes me smile
It makes me sit with you for a while
As all of our dreams are walking on stilts
And for once we give up on the guilt
That seems to follow us both around
It’s real quiet, doesn’t make a sound
Til it’s storming a scene in its refrain
And it’s as though I’ve got used to the pain
That knocks on my door in winter time
Is it okay if I think of you as mine
Coz once you were and somewhere still are
And I think of you in my car
As we listen to music that makes the bedrock
I always love the parts of you that I’m not
As we burn like a celestial sphere
I can feel the heat when you are near
But we can be friends if that’s what you need
You’re the cocaine that makes my heart bleed
Out the stories that I’ve been telling
And I can hear your side so could you stop yelling
As the noise gets loud
And my integrity proud
Enough to say we won’t speak anymore
But still I sit behind a closed door
Waiting for someone to maybe knock
And I sure loved you a lot
But I’ve got to get writing this story I own
Of how a girl feels once she’s thrown
Everything into a future that will never be
And I’m tired of trying to get you to see
Coz it’s like the ocean doesn’t know the sky
Even though rain is like tears that it cry
Into a saltwater expanse
The stars twinkle diamonds into a dance
And your soul shines forth from your eyes 
Hell is the moment we yell our goodbyes
Down either end of a cold telephone
And I know that you’re not alone
As I give you all of me
You’re telling me it’s setting free
The chains that seem to contain
The world that revolves to the clockwork of pain
And I know I shouldn’t intrude
It’s just that you are a really cool dude
And I can’t help but see from afar
That you still live with the full of your heart
And your girl’s really lucky to have you for a guy
I realise you love her so I don’t try
To win you over anymore
Though you may be on the floor
Looking for something to hold onto
But, baby, don’t you know that’s you
And everything’s forever in the distant past
But only one thing really lasts
And it’s held deep within
Beyond the molten core
Don’t go saying, my love,
You don’t love me no more
In the ashes and in the ruins there rise
A phoenix from the dust in your eyes
So stand up tall, brave and true
Don’t let the fire get the best of you
Just seek and find, rest and be 
And know, deep down, you’ve always got me

He’s like the dark side I can’t admit
And I can’t outrun you so I may as well quit
And go back home where I belong
Coz some of the things you say are so wrong
And if you’re a mountain then I am the ocean
And this is no polyjuice potion
But only becoming what I’m meant to be
Walking the shoes that finally fit me
And growing up and growing in
To the life that longs to begin
And the ages that write the scroll
Like a diagram I’m trying to unroll
But I saw the cosmos in the sphere
And it whistled a note so clear
Told me to hold you dear
You gotta know my love’s sincere

It’s dark and unknowable and kind of like death
It’s not the kind of fourteen you’re gonna forget
And I walked my own boots into the school
In the years I kept each and every rule
And the dragging, it pulls me into the sea
I was locked in a box thinking I was free
And everywhere I’d go I’d just see her face
Like some ghost to haunt what was out of place
And all of the depth that I couldn’t plumb
But no matter the trouble I’m not one to succumb
And it found me there on a carpet so green
Like a bed of roses grew from where I’d been
As I woke staring at the ceiling
And it was as though I’d transcended the feeling
That shielded me from the light of day
Now the curtains have parted and it’s all gone away
And I just want to shine like what’s never been seen
Looking through walls like what could have been
And I guess that the storm was what woke the dream 
Up on the floor of an NC1 scene