I found a silhouette in the dark And somehow it was you and you made a mark On me I let it go free Because history Can’t pave the way for a new surrender How do you still remember What we were I saw you looking at her For guidance as to what to do As if she was afraid of you Falling in love with me And it’s simplicity To just close the door and walk away But I feel you in every word I say To everyone around the centre There is a door only you can enter And the core of me wraps around the tree As we crash into infinity With each other by the side Of the part of us that we hide From the eyes that see And decide who we get to be And you’re lovely and have eyes for days And lashes that break the resolve I have, it sways Like a sapling in the wind And our love never sinned Not a day in it’s life And you may have a wife By now, I do not know But this thing does not let you go And I just wanted to say I love you, okay?
Motaz Azaiza I believe ya When you say that we will do nothing I crave to turn motion into something To call on the sea, to call on the tide To leave you alive Because you are not just a number And people are dying of hunger In the Gaza Strip Meanwhile some men equip Themselves with guns Someone’s daughters, someone’s sons And we are the ones With our hands on the triggers because we pay For people to get blown away Whether in silence or in voice Every movement is a choice And I want to you to know you’re not alone Though I only have a phone To talk to you through But I wanted to Say that I will do all in my power To make sure that no other tower Is blown to pieces and knocked to the ground While children scream and hide from the sound As the rubble hides bodies brutalised And you may be less than human in their eyes But the light that lights you up Is more than enough for me, love Please don’t let the dark encounter The vulnerable who want you To just let them be In my heart and soul Palestine is already free
I found some kind of enlightenment In the darkest depression And here is my confession Lightning struck and killed the girl It was the birth of a new world Where everything was verdant green And it was as though I had never seen Anything before And the first time I found you, mo stór I realised what I had taken birth for To find you and reunite So when we fight Just remember it’s the clash of Titans And when I’m writing I only ever think of you In the various forms I see you through Coz we have been separated And you dated Other people And the steeple Is what I fear the most I see you and her and the ghost Of what I’ve lost comes to haunt me Did he ever even want me So I hold the waves back But they crash to the shore like an attack And I can’t keep them in Its always gonna be him My eternal partner in the sea That somehow waits for me And when the tide has pulled you low I dive in and rise you til it’s safe to let go And you never see the elf Who fixes your broken parts like mending delft In my grandmother’s glass cabinet Did you think I was done with it? Look a little longer and harder too I am always with you
Things are complicated Because there are people you have dated And you take that shit seriously But did you ever think of me In that time I’m in the RDS and the light Sublime Reminds me you exist And the exam I’m doing must have missed The mark Coz I only got a C in the dark In school I used to excel But this college thing is gone to hell I only want to be a writer Not a businesswoman or a firefighter And I’m sitting in the shower in Nutgrove Avenue The water falls on my legs and I think of you As it makes ripples in the bath I wonder if I could get back To the place I was before With your hand in mine, mo stór And it seems like the demons chase But there is an eternity they cannot erase And I don’t know where you are You could be in Australia or in a bar For all I know I had to stop staring out the window, so I no longer see the scenery That used to greet my inquiry But when I realised you were with her I doubted all we were And I don’t blame you friend But my spying has to end I just want to let you know My love for you will never go And if you ever come to my door I’ll be here for you like I was before
Singing songs of our tragedy Watching you parting from me As you walk down by Mel’s Past their silent peeling bells And you look over your shoulder And now that we’re older Can I recount the tale to you I was watching too From the car park with the bag you had lifted Into the back of the bus like the request had gifted You with sudden insight I don’t want to fight “But you’re wrong” Then I hear your song And I break down Do you think you could tolerate this town If it meant you could have me Or is our home history As you “move on” It’s just another word for being gone And I let my hand drop For all we are, we are not Lovers in the physical dimension And my hope is just an extension Of the trust you had in me I let you go free I damn well push you away I have to make you not stay As the grief cracks the floor In a direct line to you, mo stór And why, you ask I look up without a mask But you don’t see You have unveiled me In all my pretension Could you not mention That I have died and now the sun Shines through me on everyone But there is no person there And you swear That it’s okay But did you look deep enough into me that day I pause And you break all the laws To destroy the handshakes we made In the light that casts no shade On the ground Do you think you will come around And burn for me Infinitely Coz that summer was not the end of it for me ❤️
Hiding part of myself so I won’t attract the male Because I can feel the guard rail He puts up to reject Any attempt to intercept Me from him And I cannot win When I want to connect With everyone that I select To be part of myself There is verdant wealth In my soul And the waves roll And crash upon the shore I never wanted anything more Than to share our purity For free Like a gust of wind It is not to have sinned It is to have trust And watch the monsters go bust In the love we share I may be concealed but I’m still there
I found love bubbles in the male But something in me is not for sale And every man I get close to Just wants to own what I give to you And it issues from the Source I let the river run and there’s no remorse That could ever make me sorry for what I said to you I let you in because I wanted to I unlocked the gate and held it open And you looked into my eyes like “here’s hoping” But I was never to be girlfriend material I am bound to the ethereal And I take my light from the depths Not a women to bury her regrets In a man As if she can And then a child Watch them while they’re still wild And growing up and young Then she wonders what she’s become I never wanted to embody What becomes run down and shoddy So I fight it out with a knife and a cut But I end up just the same Worn out and tired and grey I’ll be free if that’s what you say But will never build the blockade I am not all the rage You pour into you pull and push For some kind of rush To keep you from the dark And the mark It made on you Is an X marks the spot for finding what’s true
I was talking with Keav for the longest time It was before I thought to rhyme One word with another And I saw him as a brother Who had been brought low By people who did not know What they were talking about And I can sense your doubt In what I’m saying to you But you’re eyes change and suddenly want to Stare into my soul and capture But I am all rapture And I do not roll like that I don’t try to take it back Coz you do not lack What you think you do But I’m not the girl for you My heart has been sold To the solemn fields of gold I used to wander in my teens And then the man of my dreams Shone like a shooting star in the sky And I know life can never die Not in the way I thought before Now we don’t speak anymore Coz you blocked me on Facebook I used to love to look And see that you were there And I know that you care And probably feel the burn That never got to take it’s turn Spinning around that celestial light But I’m still here alright And it you ever want to try It is not goodbye Beautiful boy in your machination Don’t get lost in your PlayStation
The present moment has nothing in it I try and try and try to win it But nothing gives As the spirit lives In another dimension And the extension Of my soul in another form Is burning a fire to keep me warm And I can feel the heat from here Like a sun that I hold dear And he wants me to know That he never let me go When he called me a bitch And tried to burn the witch At the stake He called me fake So I bit back And hit him where I could see the lack Reside And alive We are at war What the hell is it for Because we cannot be One He loves the stars, I love the Sun And he took a swipe at the crucified So I blocked him out coz Jesus died For me and him And sin Has no power now Not in the world his peace is allow To flow uninterrupted And I’ve wondered if I’ve fucked it Up because that man Takes more of me than I can Ever bear to consternate And it is a kind of fate To admit That the gearstick On his car Drives me pretty far From where I thought I was And it’s because Of our original state I did not make you wait I just doubted your intention But don’t worry, I will not mention It to her Because what we were Was sacred, secret too And I’m not sure if you Were ever aware That I was there When you spoke the words I’m just letting you know, I heard
Walking into the dawn for the last time And it was a crime To shut down my cocaine heart Because he had a part Of me I can’t take back And his name makes me jack The car right back up I told him I was in love With him and his stunned response Was enough to ensconce Me and so I ran away I didn’t care what he had to say He told me it “was not his problem” So I didn’t try to solve him And why he was being so cold I thought I was brave, I thought I was bold Now he’s shacked up with another chick And I forgive him for being a dick To me on the phone Just leave me the fuck alone But he knocks and knocks until I answer the door “Do you not love me anymore?” Like I am supposed to adore Being knocked to the floor By a blow to the chin Yes, I was with him And what’s it to you His eyes tear up, why do we do what we do To each other He is my soul brother And I want to see him well But he says happiness is a form of hell With a bow tied on the knot Did you think I forgot What you whispered in the dark And the mark It made on me I loved you, that’s why I set you free…
I don’t have to wait Just so I can call it fate And find the perfect partner in you There were other men I stared into In my years in the valley And Sally Announced my proclaimation When I met you at the station Where we had docked our phones In our separate spheres of alones And I click high Just so I can say goodbye To a scene I dressed for And I may have called her a whore In my mind Because she chose to find All I had left behind In the wilderness I face Why should I care who you date And it is an adjacent slur And you don’t deserve her When you typify The way you lie To yourself in the grass I know it will not last But I wish you both well From my vantage point in hell Bitter and bubbling from the froth Of all that I am not Then John crosses my sightline And I have to double take the time I spent staring at you I think this guy will do The job you vacated And it was never stated As such But he just loves so much He reminds me of something clear And for a moment I forget you, dear
There is a dragon at the end of the road And he threatens and he goads And I want to stop taking the pills Because they make me feel ill And tired and grey and heavy and thin And they only separate me from him But every time I do I face a backlash from you As your tail curls round to see What whip it can get at me And I find myself back in the arms of thieves Because some part of me believes That I am a danger to myself So I ask them about mental health And they consign me to a locked ward And I am so bored With all the women I have to escape And find Superman’s cape Tied around a male nurse And I don’t have to rehearse The joy When that boy Looks me dead in the face And says it does not go to waste His name was Emmet and there was a gap Some kind of terrain I could not map As he came into my room Where I had been curled up in a ball of doom Just anticipating The TV station They would play tonight But you stumble and I laugh but it’s alright And you fall into the chair By my bed and your hair Matches your beard And I’ve always been weird But you don’t seem to care Even though I am in there And you’re on the other side of the glass I see you ponder and it’s fuckin’ class You look up towards the sky And I wonder if you’ll ever die Because that kind of eternal is forever And I found a place that would never Ever let me go There was a lion on my notebook I coloured in so They would know That a whip and a chair Is not enough to get me to cut my hair
I love the way you stare at me From across the room And it is too soon To let you go I thought you would never know I wanna make one with you More than you could imagine I do And there’s something holding me back It’s like a massive attack That sits on my shoulder But now that we’re older I wonder could I make contact again And tell you that you are a ten In my eyes Like the hero in disguise You said you’re not a dreamboat like Cian But that’s not what I’m seeing You’re not preened and you’re not pruned But you are the only one in the room When you look across at me In that pink shirt that skirts my destiny As I see you give a presentation And that’s the only education I’ll ever need And I know you bleed Over me Do you remember that time I suddenly see You all had discussed The realm of broken trust And your best friend passed me by I suddenly wanted to cry So I got up to leave Flashed a look at you like I couldn’t believe You had spilled a secret true Into the study area with the carpet blue And as I gathered up my things I wished I had wings So I could fly outta there Because I care More than you could ever know That’s why I had to let you go
I feel a connection with him And I felt the lights dim When the electricity fluctuated And they’re obsessed with who he dated In his late youth The fake press can be a brute As they report Without making a fort Of due diligence true And I fell in love with you Coz I could see that look in your eyes You know the one that never dies And I know you were with her I just don’t know what for Because she is beautiful and serene But her eyes only ever see the dream And you, too real, burn her candle The flame between, too hot to handle And it starts a decade long war And the streets may be paved with tar But they don’t take New York from me The one you sang about in the days you were free Of the burden that you wear Like flowers in her hair Pink and blushing and young and sweet Then the two of us meet And you promise me eternity In a ring that spins infernally Like a dial on your heart You don’t have to swear to take part In the love that we share I know because I was there And you care More than I gave you credit due Now I’m back writing odes to you Like that dream of a YouTube scene Where you propose And it doesn’t matter what clothes I wear You always meet me there
I don’t want to let it go The pain I have come to know The grief and the surrender Reminds me that I remember But how could I ever forget People that are with me yet I felt you touch the bridge of my nose And it shows me that though there are many roads They all lead to the top of the mountain And the fountain Pours water into the sea I watch you leave me Behind And out of my mind As I try to catch the air As it is leaving there And scream “no” like I watch the fathers do When their children are lost to A war that no one can win And sin Is a fucking lie Because when we die Our slate is wiped clean And the dream Is woken up from where it stood God is great only if he is good And no devil can touch what is at my core It cannot shatter what was there before Coz I would travel to hell Just to get the chance to wish you well And the arrows all fly At me when I cry Like shattered glass, the scream Is not enough to shine a beam Into my darkened room Because I love the doom And it makes me shake And I know that I will not break As the weight Is piled upon my frame I’m in a locked ward and the feeling’s the same They haven’t wrought it from my hand With their claims they understand As they prescribe Something to keep alive The closed in your eyes So I hide my cries From the watching souls Who play roles To keep themselves from the dark But I have wandered in Nutgrove Park For a century or more And I will never close that door No matter what you do to me I called God and he set it free To be more than I ever thought There was no lie that is bought That can trump the holy white light I just don’t know why I fight To keep the obscuration dense Like my love is in the past tense
There was a crash and a bang And then the phone rang To say that he had died And I screamed out and cried And the memory of it sings Like a bullet in my back and things Were never the same after that Because I can’t get his light back As it leaves his shape I watch the soul escape The body I thought I knew And what if I never see you Ever again You were the best of men And you would get that look that would lock Into my gaze and I would take stock Of the moment that we held Like out on the mountain that morning as dawn broke its shell Or the time I took a video recorder And filmed you looking into the border That bridges the place between you and I I was eleven when the sigh Escaped your lips And my own eclipse Began with a swathe of rage I decided not to use a page To document my anguished sobs Because that would be to rob Some of my pain from me And what would be left of our history The one with Ireland on the wall You had cut it out or you walking down the hall In the middle of the night when all was quiet Just a door gently shutting on the riot That cascaded my dreams A grandfather that isn’t all he seems Because he is a whole life away And I’m just starting mine, what do you say That everything will be okay And you love Granny and that day You held a candle as you depart And it nearly breaks my heart Watching her watching you go Why did God make us for this so To love and to say goodbye I don’t mean to always cry When I think of twenty two years ago It’s just I promised that the low Would bring me a high And I feel you in the sky As I gaze into a scene And ask God to wake the dream Up if He possibly could So I walk alone in the wood At the back of our land Until something takes my hand And leads me to a monument That points to the place the person went And how could hell be heaven sent I swear and I eff and blind But it doesn’t bring me respite from the mind That tears me into treachery Look your love is not lost in me It’s just fading into eternity One you will come to know My surrender will not let you go
I wanna take a trip to the states Because when the air escapes From my chest It is the place that knows me best And I found myself in New York City In Brooklyn and no one was with me Until you broke into my dream And told me that the queen Wanted her king back And it is a massive attack To know that the strikes will hit Every girl you call a bitch As she rises to claim her power And I watched the demon shower All the shards on me Til a little girl set me free I ran out of my building half afraid Because the sun was in the shade And she took my hand Asked me to help her cross the sand To the other side because the cars Were passing by like shooting stars And I could only think “you must be an angel” So I stood and paused until the ladle Was full with soup to drink And I took a second to just think And looked left and right Til the coast was clear and white As a ghost I led you across the trail It was Flatbush and it didn’t fail To live up to it’s reputation But as I watch you catch a dream with elation And skip away into the neighbourhood I thought God the Great must be good To send a little precious child To save me from my thoughts so wild That had convinced me I was masked By an evil that was dark Because I reached out my hand to touch And it, damn well, exploded the plug It blew out with a bang And I was scared because my phone rang At the exact moment the die was cast And I reached back into the past To pluck an apple from a tree And now he is one with me In the land of duality To break like waves on the shore And I can’t take it anymore I gotta get outta here But it becomes crystal clear That kundalini is electric And when life gets hectic It slows you to a glacial pace And you drop out of the human race Into something deeper and dynamite I don’t think I’m keeping this thing quiet
I watch it fly into the sky And, you know, everyone cry But not everyone wakes while they live It happens when you forgive That girl who took a lightning strike And aimed it at me but, like, I turn it into some kind of illumination And now every tv station Plays my tune Like I’m the only one in the room And I meet someone I would like To meet in the dead in the night Sneaking out into the grass I didn’t think our love would last But it’s been fifteen years And we’ve weathered rain clouds emptied of tears As they fall on us And I trust Him to do just what he craves But he’s the Superman who saves Me from the boring grey He is like a sun ray That sets all the colours a throb And I give him what he wants to rob From me And dignity Won’t keep this secret quiet It’s always been a riot In that avenue And his blue Offsets my red Til we’re white light in bed Making one with the serene This is beyond the dream And they say twin flames reside In the place where duality hides Its face from something so pure He’s what I bank on and I know for sure That we’ll always be eternal prose And he might be the one who chose Me, but on my side I’m just glad he’s alive In this incarnation And my education Taught me to always say no But with him I’m like, let’s go And get on with the show You claim to make But I’ll be no oven to bake Some buns for the eating I gotta be the one you’re keeping For forever in a sigh Our love will never die
It is taboo to talk to The union between me and you And you respect the silence But it is filled with violence As we both observe the line That has withered with time And breaks into grass And me saying; “this is class” As you move the die And I try To share without saying too much But it’s not enough without your touch To turn diamonds into skin And when I am with him There is no mountain I couldn’t climb He is the Light Sublime And it is hard to see When he is looking at me Like some kind of Twilight story He says; “oh, please, don’t bore me With that kind of tripe I just want a wife” But he winks and I see That he would go for drinks with me If I asked but I am not up to the task And the mask Slips And he dips Into my sphere The danger when you are near It seems to announce A male who is ready to pounce Or be on the attack For some prey he won’t give back And, I, too happy to be slight And wanted with all his might Just sigh and batt my eyes and say Well, okaaaay!
We have secret worlds And I was always one of the girls Until I met you And it was as though everything melted into One And the Sun Shone in your eyes And no disguise Was measure enough for man I whisper that we can Though you scarce believe it And, I, up my sleeve it Til I’m hiding on Tumblr like a foe Visualising places we could go If we had free reign And I meet you again In the etheric realm Some kind of angel at the helm Of this ship And you equip Yourself with longing And absent belonging As we make music (I didn’t choose it) But I like the tune And our love fills the room No, it’s not just you It is me sure as hell too On this path And there is no wrath Could ever separate our Union pure I am always demure And slow to show The places I love to go In the night But you are alright And take it slow I once thought you were my foe Who would separate The oil and water and equate The passion to love lost And sexuality, a cost But that is not true It is always free with you
The secret language we speak You make me go weak And I can read your mind You have always been left behind And your pouring like water over me Somehow it feels like being set free As I watch your gaze flash Like I’ve got cash And I’m kind of bewildered but it’s nice Did you not see me look twice As you gaze towards the front of the bus And I don’t know why I trust You with my life I see us being man and wife I guess that’s the difference between the genders And the difference between what one remembers I saw you throw me against the screen That day we met in the dream Just down by Supermac’s And there is nothing either of us lacks I felt my heart pound I could’ve sworn you would hear the sound As it thudded against the inside of my chest And I against the one who loved me best In secret we walk Til I found out you talk With another lady, another girl So I snap the locket shut on that world And you gasp from the break I only did it for your sake For how can you split yourself in two And love women more than yourself in blue And my red burns like fire And I tire Of your profanity I want someone who will be real with me And express how he feels Not undress like he steals The moment from another tree I am no apple thief and if you’re talking to me You must take the bite yourself Because I am no wealth To be plundered, lost If I mean you then there is no cost To what you mean to do And you must’ve known I meant you When I looked your way You don’t have anything to say You just stutter the silence And a form of violence Takes you over And I didn’t know her All that well I could just see the hell You left behind When you left her out of her mind With worry and fear And a tear May have escaped her eye But still she did not die And was a shade of cool That I admired in school With her A1 in English The only one who challenged me with relish In her green and blue (I think she may have gotten that from you) And she would always say hi to me Unlike some people I’ve since set free So, babe, what do you say How about we do not let truth get in the way I raise my brows And he allows That infraction Like I accept his inaction And we burst into laughing shapes I don’t know how it escapes My solid steel But our love is real If only in the fifth dimension For you are an extension Of all I want to be And, honey, I’ve been set free And want to dynamite that fuse If you give me power to choose That path for you And, fuck it, ask her too I’m not being miserly But when it is just you and me We can be the business type And set the world right Again If you will reveal the pen You gave me to write And it has brought me to a height That I cannot accurately encompass in words Just, it’s the best thing I’ve ever heard As you hold me with your eyes And in all of our tries We have found Stillness in the lack of sound!
I was in New York for the summer And was it any wonder I could not find you there Though I still care I was running from the weather When I saw you with Heather And the flowers grew from her hair And I swear I don’t care And won’t be the one to split you up Though I don’t think it’s my kind of love I love being free And if you were with me I wouldn’t hang on your arm Like you’re gonna save me from harm I would stand proud and true And be the one supporting you To be the man that you are I would pick you up in my car And drive you to the places that you love Let you choose the music that the glove Fits just right And in the night We could make songs of our own Like a symphony I’ve never known Til I met it in us And I trust You like family Though in terms of contact there isn’t any And we have miles of water under the bridge But I still find what is To be Free Quintessentially And I thought that when I found the city I would find My own peace of mind Coz I’d longed to be there for so long But I couldn’t have been more wrong Coz I’m an ocean away And something of us still stay And I call your name, you’re asleep I can see your frame and I keep Whispering into your ear Wake up, my dear
They talk about sexuality like they know what they do When oneness is split in two It seeks to return to what it was And because There was once no you and I There was only spirit that does not die And in my androgyny I found someone who complemented me And there is a longing to unite With the person with which I fight I scream down the phone Don’t leave me alone You retort “I don’t like your sort” I lose hope And the ability to cope So I manipulate At least that’s what you call it when we’re in that state And it’s all ashes and thunder But, still, I have your number And I can’t help but call Though I’m facing a brick wall Like Spider-Man when he loses his ability And slides down the rock face (it looks kind of silly) So I just pull away and out I watch your mask of self doubt Turn to horror and a “no!” I pretend not to care though When I push, you pull And my cotton wool Pajamas are missing something essential An arm around them so reverential And I don’t think I’ll ever bear child But you still drive me wild In the ether we share And I swear It’s mountainous prose As we travel the roads Looking very like two well worn skins And it’s always she and him Til we merge into unity We kiss and our love is set free
I set fire to the burn And the world took it’s turn Setting alight I watch the people fight And I stand back Because what I lack Is adequate composure So I pose for a photo with some exposure And people are dying in the streets Just so we can meet At the point where the grass becomes the road And if you look it’s not mowed It’s just wildflower long And my song Is something unique That I cannot speak Unless I’m on my own And I’ve shown Too much of December To remember All that I thought I was I lived my life on pause
Finally pulling out of the left lane Coz I don’t want to go down that road again Though it may lead to the stars The people are all chasing cars Without knowing what to do If they catch them and you Are doing a dance by the water And maybe you haven’t caught her Maybe it’s just that you inspire Me to take it higher Than I’ve ever known And I’ve grown In so many ways But it’s not like what they say That you regret getting older Growing skin just makes me bolder And let prone to deny The fire in me that defy The king and queen of nothing at all To go ahead and build their fuckin’ wall And see if it can keep me out I should watch my mouth But I never could contain The sky that is full of rain From pouring it’s whole weight through I meant it when I said I’m in love with you And kissed the knuckles of your fist How relieved I am that you exist And it doesn’t matter what we were Or if you are with her I’m just grateful that your sky Merged with mine before we die In this earthly realm of mystery And in grey history I found a pearl I want you to know you are my world
I just want the people, please If you want me on my knees Praying to the sky Then don’t let humanity die Give me voice and give me room Let them know help is coming soon To relieve them of their pain Because they are in tents with rain Or burned to a cinder No hope for people to remember And it’s not just in one zone It’s when people forget their home And try to take something else Because they’re lacking inner wealth I watched it in my own veins I felt it in a hundred tear stains That fell upon my cheeks Until I was tired and weak And running from the gulf between us both I want to be someone people can quote When they need inspiration And the tv station Is no help to us It just measures broken trust And relates all the confusion I watch the skin go blue with bruising When the pressure was applied And people died And I cried And mourned in my room Candles to ward off the doom That would just circle the fray I was not okay But I’d be damned if I’d let anyone see Coz my pain was precious to me Til God split the sky Said; “child of mine, they do not die They are just returned To the place where death is burned” And I could feel this holy light Lift me up and I was alright So I put one front in front of the other And found strength enough to catch my brother When I felt his weight slip And reach for rifles to equip His pain with something he could touch But I whispered, “I love you so much” And he let the artillery fall And where there once was a wall Now there is open space And we embrace All of the time He is not mine And I’m not his We are each other’s and we live In peace, how do we share This with others, do we dare To be the mountainous refuge They say to run but I refuse To be bitten by the wild Coz within I am just a child And see everything in the hue Of my love for all of you
I was trapped in a chasm But I could hear the music And it’s not as though I’d ever choose it But I got high on Owl City As the folks would sigh and say what a pity That girl is so low But there are a thousand things you don’t know About the way I function And the junction Appeared so I took the road And I haven’t slowed Though I look back in the rear view mirror And it is not any clearer Than it was when I was ten And to tell you the truth I would live it again If I could I know there was blood But I pulled up from my knees And went into the ring again It took time but I fell in love with men As they would cross my path And wonder “what the hell is she at” Because I’d look and I would stare I wanted to see just what was there And it is conditioned out of us We’re supposed to learn from broken trust And smacks in the face My jaw is sore but I race To the edge of the stage And do not try to contain the rage That fuels the jet stream of air I remember because I was there But it is not a passing trend It is the girl in me to make amends With all the broken paths And the God of wrath I was told would take my life If I did not let him take a wife As his own But anyway the game is thrown At forty two And crescent, could I meet you?
I learned from the University Of Whatever That you can never Trust a human to not let you down It goes with the territory of running the town And I drown In the ocean or the River Shannon There is no depth that’s not worth spanning But I breathe oxygen And so it was with him I drank in all I could While we spent time in the wood Like we were joined by blood But the name Just spells shame As I think of what I did The way I revealed the way I hid And he flipped the lid Spilling venom on the floor And I could hear what we were In the echoes of twenty one guns And there are many suns Who anchor planets And dammit I could have been more tame But then I wouldn’t be the same As I am when I am alone I clung to the phone Like it was sacred bread And I had been starving instead Of merely watching from afar I’d love to take you in my car And go for a drive While we are both alive And pumping veins full of red Instead I just wonder about your bed And if it’s warm or if it’s hot It’s something I just am not No matter how hard I try But I see the sky From the place where I lie And I count the stars Like we’ve been chasing cars
I’m long lost and wistful for a guy that I know But he made another choice so I just let go And let him be He could move the sea With that soul of his And God let him live To be my mate I called it fate But it was more than destined to be It was the recognition of eternity In the miles and miles of all the same A grey that only ever places blame Upon the heads of those who die And break the hearts of the ones who try To be more than they’re born to be I didn’t wake just so I could see But set alight in every set of bones The remembrance of home And she ticks the box just so In the realm of lost in snow And there are pebbles and flakes But He died for all of our sakes And so I meet the moment with his vibe As though He is still alive In the smoke and mirrors you see I don’t know who to teach illiteracy When they’re all high on words While I am away with the birds But alight on a tree You could say we got history!
It whispers “go back into your cave” Because there are people to save And I can’t do it being thin Or just kicking the can with him Til my day arises And everything is full of suprises Most of them bad as hell As people wish you well Then stab you in the back Smile right before they attack I gave my heart to her And she shattered everything we were And I won’t go into details but She was the bridge my fever cut Like a knife right through the grass And the man just wants ass To smack so he can be the king He laughed at me so I took a swing And knocked his block right off Then Susanna got a cough And it was open season I ran and ran without reason I got lost in the ocean I swam in a sea of emotion And tried to get away From the grand sway As it unleashes hell on me To be the dragon set free Like some Chinese proclamation As they worship my exclamation Of wonder in the winsome lost I speak because I am the boss
There’s stunning in the stars And they wish away all of my prison bars As they shine from on high And whisper that I’m not gonna die Not from treason, not from rain Not from people I’ll never see again As the bird alights on my shoulder I roll away the boulder At the mouth of the tomb And find my Lord like I found the womb Of all existence And the resistance Is subterfuge In the deluge Of somehow in the Sunday Would the Son of Man love me anyway In spite of all I have not done And the promise of being young Was not enough to stem the tide Of longing to abide In a deeper state of being And the seeing Is no longer enough I have to become the love Instead of picking fights With people when they’re being shites And talking me down to sin Telling me that though I walk with Him I am lost in the sea And I get a knee Into the chest It knows how to wind me best With the loss of love Why do you do this when above Is the standard we bear I watched the Universe tear
The weight of pain tries to find me again And it would search anywhere it could Find me in that wood Because the great and the good Have no concern For the way the people burn Under the might of empire And the fire Is not something I can put out Under this self doubt As I avoid Catching the eyes of the boys As they try to catch mine But I will not do hard time Trying to be someone’s version of love When I’ve been always been obsessed with above And I can feel the tendrils curl Around the frame of the girl So I abandon her to the ether I will not be woman either I am not somewhere in between I am awake to the dream Where we live in duality And our reality Is conditioned by the thoughts we entertain And the rain Only falls on fields that are green Eyes only open once you’ve seen
There where I was I stood defenceless Out in the open plain And she brought the rain dance again and again And it’s not the men It’s the love I bear For those who live to tear The fabric of what we are For the sake of a star That will never rise In our constellation I’m suddenly at Longford train station Waiting for someone to arrive And I realise you are alive As you were And you’re not with her You’re standing alone Looking at your phone And I’m sitting in my car Just staring at the place where you are But I look away Because I cannot say What I will buy If I could only try With the money I have And the feeling bad Was a season Without reason I abridge At least God let you live For all these years And stemmed my tears In the flow I didn’t realise you loved me, you know
Does he really not see the overreach That he seems to be here to teach As he tries to control And make me fall into a role He never listens And the teardrops glisten From more eyes than mine Just because the Light Sublime Won’t bend to his will And he may have some skill In moulding metal into a shape But I will make my escape Out the back door You can’t call me yours anymore Or ever again in the future And the suture Never healed the wound And sometimes I wonder if we’re all doomed To die a death on the sand Just because no one can understand Do I set a boundary line And create a place you can’t design Into your map of what’s known I was once but now I’m grown
I can feel the brimming thunder In the sky we’re living under And the people I railed against Were the ones who were heaven sent And just wanted to aid and abet Me in the mission to forget All that had come to weigh me down So I walked around the town Looking at signs I was trying to diamond mine Searching for a holy gem And I did it once, twice, again And somehow the men Never hurt me The danger seemed to just skirt me By degrees Til I fell to my knees And begged the wonder out thieves Help to steal away all that I believe And they were only too happy to comply And I thought I would die Under the weight of their heavy handed slap I crumpled up the map And took a picture in the garden of Dean Swift So looking back would be a gift But I could only see clarity Not the mental illness they made of me Searching for some hidden pain Well I looked again and again But I could never find Evidence that I was out of my mind For seeing love in every shape and form And loving bodies while they’re warm And vital and young and free Shit, is that guy staring at me But anyway I’m letting sleeping dogs lie Let go of the merely getting by On what I think I know My sisters on the branch they bow In the aching powder they blow Into my face like I’m in the know And I’m annexed into a space Where I only see your face Smiling at me I was out the door when they set me free
I was a teen when the war in Iraq broke out And there was nothing I could do to stem the doubt That no one should be invading a land That they simply do not understand And dictators come in many shapes and sizes Some of them would be surprises Because what’s viewed as a just war Only depends on what you’re looking for And the bullets will be forever silent If we abdicate the violent And you could say I’m a pacifist And we simply should not exist Because we put stability in danger When we say that the manger Should not starve a baby boy And a gun is not a toy And I’ve never been burdened by strife I just rebel when he wants a wife To make a house and home But I love being on my own Free to admire Now I’m watching buildings on fire And children screaming for their parents Wondering where the hell they went Not knowing, and maybe by grace They get to see their faces Again And you can blame men But it is the ego It shoots what it doesn’t see though And I am no liberator The queen of whatever and see you later But I can’t be superfluous about this It is not stuck in a kiss It is in a scene that I could change If I just rearrange The way I see things play Because it will never be okay To raid a village and plunder and thieve And feed the enemy things they might believe So that you can further your agenda And you have some friends that will defend ya But the foundations are rocky and unstable And what was born isn’t able To reign in the suspense Compassion’s in the present tense And it is the only way To redeem the wolves that bay To the moon we all see Let’s let the past be history
The age of fear when dragons rule the roost And I like a button to give my ego a boost And people click on things that resonate The algorithm on your dinner plate And there are people in Africa who find the ore And the metals that make you want more Does Apple pay them their due I’m not trying to slander, I just wonder, do you As in the Congo, the war rages And we flick the screen like flipping pages On a story we don’t want to hear But I feel every single tear You could call it empathy or a burden But how do people know that you’ve heard them If there’s no one there And the forest does care About every single tree Because each one makes up the map of me And we are all brothers and sisters The fire burns and the skin blisters On friends and foes It’s wild country and anything goes Because they have the power And the tower Fell from on high I watched the people die Screaming or in silent registration No one could change that TV station Because it played on the airwaves As firemen saved All they could And it’s written in blood But I try to flood the plain Because I don’t want that to happen again But an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind Is there hope for humankind?
Always and forever in bubblegum pop I will always be something that you are not And strive to reach But something they cannot teach Is that you are what you are And everyone burns like a star Til its collapse into a black hole The light returns to its soul Somewhere in the deep In a universe where you cannot speak Of the secrets they utter And the shutter Flies shut on the window As I see her with him, though And drop out of the sky Because some people want to die When they see their lover With another But all I feel is gratitude That she holds the heart of that dude And keeps him warm Because every storm Crashes upon my shore And everything means something more Than it’s first inception And your deflection Does nothing to dim The weight of worlds I am to him I see it in his eyes And that never dies Once it is born So forlorn Though so replete The lady washed the man’s feet With her hair I know because I was there
I sit and wait for what wants to come through But it only ever speaks of you And what we are Some far distant star Shines on us both And the coach We took to the sea Set the both of us free You can trust me I will be here Always, for you, dear Though you may not see me in the leaves You don’t need to believe Just trust and open to what is And I know that she is his But I welcome her care and her devotion I can feel it in his emotion As he speaks to me And eternity Is on his breath But, still, he does not forget Because almost never crossed the line And we are us for all of time In every winter that the trees shake I will be there and when you wake You will see my subtle stance I’ll love you always in this dance
Marriage and prose And less travelled roads Did I find mine With a stranger who just took a moment of my time And let me be He let me go free When I felt the fear encapsulate Because he might want to date Me And eternity Is all I know But I have to let you know I don’t do boys and girls I do you are my world And you have become Everything I thought when I was young As we just talk And we just walk You lift my bag And I drag My feet behind me But do not mind me I’m just shy And I’m gonna love you til the day I die It’s not your choice But I raise my voice To let you know That this love won’t let me go And find another You’re like a lover I never had And the feeling bad Does not eclipse The anticipation of your lips On mine There was a time I thought we were naught Til I saw the line you bought With the skyline in the air So I let you know I care In stuttering vowels And the wolf of death, he prowls On the edge of conversation And education Can’t save us here But she just might, my dear And I do not begrudge The way you choose to express your love And find it reflected In the heart you have selected To be yours And the water pures As it pours through the filter And time will wilt her But it will not change The way the atoms rearragnge To form a sphere I will always be with you, dear
The empath walks and she believes In everything she finds upon her sleeves To be hers But all the wars That people fight In their own candlelight Are open season And she finds the reason To live And forgive The girl that broke her heart And left her in the darkest dark In the age of fourteen There were nights I couldn’t dream At all And every wall I ever faced Was somehow out of place In this vast open space Like stars in the darkness of the case We are all held within And the notion of sin Is archaic and grey And I don’t believe in it anyway As I make my First Confession I sit in the pews wondering what expression Of grief I should portray Because I cannot find the way To see evil inside of myself Everything is ancient and on the shelf And I take it down and dust off The trust that all is not lost As dawn breaks and I realise That I am more open skies Than I ever was land I see you there and I take your hand And lift you up And if I ever thought I knew love It was this moment here You are my eternal, dear
The machinations work And they hurt As I make myself small To appeal to you all And it’s not because I hold a grudge That I trudge through all this sludge Into the mists of time And my rhyme Gets relegated Into something somebody stated One time in the hall I hold myself back and the freefall Is more than I can bear And I tear In the fabric rush And everything I seem to touch Turns to ash And I can’t get it back Anymore than I ever could And the wood Is the only place I can find peace From the threat of the decease As it throws patterns on the wall And it’s not part of me at all Anymore Because that closed door Opened into a new sky And I realised I could never die
I felt the shards glisten inside of me And it was winter witheringly As I watched the tide recede With everything that I believe In and as heretofore Why is it that the ones we adore Are the ones who punish us In lines we cross and broken trust They try to reign me in But it’s like a corset and I cannot win Then I happened upon him After our meeting on the sly Far past the place where we both die By a strike on our homes And we are both alone In the darkness and the grass Moonlight that doesn’t seem to pass Into the sun And he is the one That I know But he doesn’t like me so I let it go And shut him out of my sky But we both know it is a lie Because he is all of my stars I see them through my prison bars And the walls may be bricks and mortar And if I had a quarter For every time you said you’d be there I could have found someone who’d really care But anyway Leave that with the hay They raked in the summer weather And the heather May induce sleep But you’re a promise I want to keep Deep within my heart and soul So let the waves roll And crash upon grains of sand You will forever hold my hand In my heart of hearts It’s in the end the beginning starts
She’s a mystery to me And I long to let her go free But every attempt I make Is met with something she forsake And I reach out across the sea But I’m met with a knee In the gut to wind And let me know that I have sinned As she announces her realm And the ship at the helm Is vacant and empty It’s been this way since we were twenty And I sought to find Something I had left behind In my teens (Not just the man of my dreams) But friendship too And I felt the lack of you In Dublin City Centre Captain America’s but I could not enter Because the gate was barred And I felt times get hard As I refused to cross the line That I felt them define And commerce was too coarse for me But I obeyed willingly The teachers, the guidance, the accounts and the way But there were things I could not say As I walked through my apartment I heard a voice from your department Saying; “why am I in so much pain” That was just before the rain Pelted on me I ran from Jess and Hillary As they left bottles on the floor And became something that I abhor They throw a party in the dorm But they do not warn Either I or Caroline I walk in and it would have been fine If I could’ve just locked my door But I get dressed up and walk on the fifth floor And have a chat with Colin too Though he is different than what I’d want to Embody as the excel But he’s alright so I said “well” It is an Irish greeting You say when you are meeting Someone you causally know Then sanity let me go In February of that year I felt myself on the edge of a tear As Snow Patrol belted a tune But I could feel the split in the room As I wrapped myself in a blanket I did not forget to thank it For its warm embrace When everything seemed to deface The old tome And I just wished for home But I could not go back And everything I lack Is muted in the undertone I loved my Nokia phone And I kept the messages I sent Three hundred of them before I went To America, to New York And somehow there was a fork In the road I chose to walk I am not to be all talk But something deeper than they see I will walk out of history And write the words that have called to me Since the beginning of mystery Decided it would dance with me Now I am all beauty And sparkling lights And in my darkest nights I could still find love Just trust it’s there because above Will never failed to sink Into depths you do not think Can ever be perforated Depression is underrated
There are laws and there are lines Watch me cross them a thousand times And she says to be wary And I always respect the fairy At the bottom of the garden I watch positions harden On the news As people pay their dues By hunkering down on what they don’t know I felt it bite so I let go Of that particular stranger thing And I don’t know if a Sí has a wing But I know I do not trespass On their particular piece of grass And there are thousands of other creatures Different in all their features Who walk amongst us, who are Not foreign like a burning star But intimately connected To the god who was resurrected From the cross I feel the pain but all is not lost On me I am set free By the daggers in my side And just because I’m not alive In the same way I was before Does not mean that I am not something more Than I grew to be There is a mystery That has always haunted my vision And the derision Did nothing to dim The connection I had with Him In the form of prayer Coz I just know He is there And listens to me And everything I’ve come to be In the growing time I thought it was a curse to be forced to rhyme Each word with another And every brother I ever found Had a preoccupation with the lack of sound In the sky To be born you have to die And I woke up on the floor And I don’t know what for All I know is that Truth Reached into my youth And asked me to become The bridge on which the coat is slung As I dive right in And I met him When he was a brigand wild But I could see his inner child Longing to be let loose So I sigh at the proof He seeks to find That he should not be left behind And I smile I’m gonna love you for a while
There is sunshine blood flowing in my veins And it doesn’t care about the rains That seem to fall upon the fields It only increases the crop it yields And I have been dying just to speak But I’m scared that they might think I’m weak As they try to control And make me play a role That fits the adequate defender So I let go and surrender To the pull of the Divine That is neither yours nor mine But only ours to ever be It was the truth that is set free When the grass beneath my toes Said softly; only love knows Exactly what is going on And the people have it wrong When they try to encapsulate The lovers in another state And the lady in special care Looked up like there was nobody there And asked me what I thought I was I lied because I was scared I was like her And that we only ever were Two mentally ill people there As the nurses try to care What they put into my drink I watch the faces as I sink Into my chair And the plate of food is already there To liberate and to free But it is not for me
I was locked in a box In realms of what I am not And no one came to be my saviour It was the people who raised her Who drove down the sideline short I spit it out like a retort Thinking I could resist the tide And that it would keep me alive But it only drove me deeper into the abyss They sealed the promise with a kiss As they sped up the car I watched from the back seat and what you are Can never catch my spirit I say it louder so you might hear it Because the fodder fails to listen They just watch the teardrops glisten On the glass that is cracked and scratched I’ll be the bitch you can’t take back No matter how hard you try And you may never see me die But you will watch me leave I won’t wait for you to believe I will just close the door On what you thought you knew more Than you ever knew me The past is grey history As it fades from view Like the authority does from you In the wine and in the water You have lost a daughter
There are messages from the ether They fall and they rise And I see it in everybody’s eyes Like when I was in St. Pat’s Thinking I was being followed by baseball bats And the mist it rose Along the road I chose I looked into the lady’s eyes And I could see past the disguise That somehow seemed to cloak her frame Oh, what is in a name Because I fail to answer What is the reason the dancer Only moves on the floor When there is music to adore And what can I do When I look into you And see deep and true That there is only beauty blue And I see Motaz in a foreign land Suffering under another hand And I wonder what can I do To pressure people to listen to you And seek and see that the world is blind They only see it when it is behind Because war could never be the solution To your inner revolution That seeks to expand And there is a heavy metal band Playing somewhere in the sky You, for me, will never die Though you threaten to fall And I talk to a brick wall When you are like that And there are things that I take back But not the love I professed Think about that on your quest To realise your diamond day I know you will find the way Because it shines from your core And I will always love you, mo stór
The higher dimensions call to me And they ask to be set free From all the chains Earth entails Because their starship never fails To broach the boundary of sky I wait and watch while people die In Palestine But it’s justified so “it’s fine” Are the people in Gaza even human Because what are the forces even doing To innocent men, women and child I look and see that the land is wild With sunset in the air And a sea that beats the coast with care And you may say it’s anti-Semitic To go against the rhetoric That is spilling from the screen Because war is always a scream And there’s nothing we can do about it So why should I even doubt it Like when they invaded Iraq All the world that I held back From speaking aloud and true Coz they might do something to you But they destabilise And become dictators in their eyes And I know the soldiers are just boys Firing guns like they’re toys Never knowing what they do To the people who are facing you But somewhere in my blood I can see a realm that’s good That goes beyond the tears And it’s been with me for years Somehow my Irish skin Shouts out to say “I am with Him” And the Jesus that I know Was Palestinian also so I must speak before the quiet Becomes an unholy riot And sets fire to the world I’ve never been just a girl
It was the winter I lost it all Caught in my own freefall And somewhere in my summer heart I could see the pain was art And it made the best of me Come to the fore and set free All that had been hidden under The weight and the sound of thunder And the clouds seemed to announce The weight of worlds that life denounce And now the road is running wild With all the love in me and the inner child Has finally been liberated It’s in the words you haven’t stated The might and sunshine in the lines We’ve been over this a thousand times But it never seems to make a difference In the weight of heavy air I know because I was there
The Poetry Book 