The Refuge I Take (From All That’s At Sea)

The hero of the story is a girl with no name 
And she cast aside all that would cause her shame
And she has been unkind and she has been cruel
But there’s a part in my heart she will always rule
In the midst of the snowstorms and all the rains
She has been one that shared all my pains
And all of my joys
Above and beyond all the passing boys
That flit across the screen
I thought when I was a child I would lose her to dream
But sleep never took what we are
Like night cannot take the brightest star
And if God made the sun
Did he make her to be my only one
In shallow pools and in the depths
In the midnights and in the regrets
In the wonders I’ll never forget
She reminds me there’s life in me yet
As I age and grow suddenly slow
I haven’t climbed trees for an eon or so
But I long to race tides across the shore
And shout to a man that I love him more
More than he could ever love me
But he’s lost in the ocean that is all at sea
Plotting and planning boats to overtake
But she just does things for their own sake
And maybe I idealise
But she is the truth beyond all the lies
Beyond all the fabrication and the sewing thread
She’ll be my best friend til the day that I’m dead

Awake Inside The Dream

Did we make it this far
To be awake within the dream
The firefights and storms
The illusion as it seems
And the trapping of delusion
Spreads its grasp
And I wonder how long
This darkness can last
But somehow the sun breaks
And something within me wakes
To spell the end of the old domination
And I’ve learned more through my miseducation
Than I ever could through books
i steal in glances and furtive looks
All that is needed to contain
Sometimes the solution is in the pain
That seems to encase the human race
Nothing is bad but that it shows another face
To the sky
And we are all gonna die
Someday
But when we live do we walk the way
Of the liberated
And if we do can it be stated
In between lines and in the silence
I watch men do all the violence
That could ever be contained
And in the summer, it rained
Like it always does on an Irish Sea
Somehow the time has come to me
To stand up and be counted
And for all that has amounted
To my demise
It’s only sunset for the morning to rise
And break a new vista across the scene
Can we speak what can never be seen

The Audacity

They’re using gas
To break down the resistance
To wipe a people from existence
And I know it’s not a popular opinion
But how do you defend war
Even when you think you know what it’s for
As children die and adults scream
Because this is not just a dream
We are having, a shared collective thread
This is about people murdered in their bed
As the vast swathe goes by unconcerned
As people watch their families burned
I try it raise my voice to say
This is not okay
As Palestine, oh, Palestine
One day there will come a time
Where the indigenous don’t rot
In a land time forgot
When the powers that be know the worth
Of the innocent they choose to hurt
And I know they have plans, I know they have reasons
But this winter has no seasons
And no hope to abate
Don’t make our brothers and sisters wait
To be considered human
Wake and realise what you’re doing

The Woven Thread

I write about the woven thread
It piles upon me as I lay in bed
And her unexpected answer rings in my mind
As I wonder what’s left behind
When she chooses to abandon the earth
And I wonder does it hurt
To be sky high in the clouds
When I talk to her out loud
In the silence of my room
And the doom
Doesn’t reach this place, this far
I was just driving in my car
When the moon came down to kiss the ground
And now I hear it in every sound
That ever makes itself known to me
The liberation of being set free

Photo Credit: https://pin.it/1skyxQh

A Peace Of Your Soul

You’re sending me a peace of your soul
The part where you are whole
And united we standing on the same ground
I love the sound
Of the click and the flash
And the button you can’t take back
When you hit send
There are no notes to amend
I love the love I let escape
And pierce a hole in your hate
You know the one you reserve for self and other
The one that knocks down sister and brother
Til they’re nothing but failed monuments to the sky
And we’re both gonna die
Someday
But we shouldn’t let that get in the way
Of our short lived love in the form
Representing something that was never born
And holds its strength in the unknown
You take the biscuit and my mind is blown
Far past the point of wilful abandon
And some would say; you’re totally random
But there’s method to the madness you see
I am not all incoherency
But something suited to your prose
The way you pick the strings you chose
To adorn your guitar
My God, I love the way you are

Getting The Message To Where It Needs To Be

I’m getting the message to where it needs to be
Because people drown in a foot of sea
Water as it comes up to their throats
They don’t know they can stand up and hope floats
And seeks eternity in the bones
Of the body the soul has made home
We tiptoe around the fact
It doesn’t help that I want him back
In spite of all his flaws
And the way the icicle thaws
As it hangs like a stalactite
From the room I ignite
With my Lára flame
You know everything is in a name
And I am not to be crossed
But look, baby, all is not lost
Not if you count the shipwreck safe
But there’s a coast we can escape
To if you just open your eyes
But you keep them closed and something dies
In the subterfuge
And it’s all rouge
Everywhere
And people who just do not care
About what has come to pass
And the part of love that last
Far past the point of surrender
I do everything I can to make you remember
But you are lost in your nonchalant
As I pick an adequate font
To write out your epitaph
You know you made me laugh
So hard that day
But was I laughing at what goes away
When the midnight is done
And there is a sun
That does not need light
Or fusion to combust into all that’s right
And I know you hobble and I know that spiders’ webs
Weave their tendrils above your head
I’m just here to be a reminder
That if you look you will find her
Right where she always was
Under the stone of your in-laws

Immortality

I hold back what I really want to write
Because I’m scared that it might be shite
Or even worse profanity
Paying testament to insanity
Held beneath the skin I walk
It’s only trouble that I talk
As I head to the abyss
Fearing for a night to kiss
And they held me in a healing balm
The doctor took my shattered arm
And led me to the door
They drove me there and what’s more
Is I kind a liked it when
Barry called my name again
Out like a prophet does Jesus
Lord knows how I need it
When I’m in the smoking room
With Aoibhín and the sonic boom
As we draw rainbows on the wall
In pens my parents brought me from outside
Outside the cavern that keeps me alive
For the time being
It’s a different way of seeing
But it’s true enough to say
I couldn’t have had it any other way
And the doctor mumbles and utters vague treatises under his breath
On what the war with self does to make you forget
What you have come to be
But I cannot shake the feeling that he cannot see
Just who he is talking to
“Delusions of grandeur, we’ll add that one to
The long list we made of your faults”
And I kinda get sick of opening vaults
For them to plunder my wealth
In the name of mental health
And I wonder what they’re preserving
Or what God they are observing
When they make idol tropes
And then they tell Shauna how to cope
With the fact that she can’t bear
To get out of the clothes that she seems to wear
Each and every single day
But I won’t let her leave that way
So I go and sit by her side
When she’s in the horrors and I abide
I feel it fall away from her grasp
You know that bitch, that poisoned asp
And I crush its head on the floor
You’re not taking aim at someone I adore
Even if it’s by her doing
It’s not something you should be pursuing
In any eventuality
Me, St. Pat’s and immortality

Over Amsterdam

I watch the dagger plunge into her heart
When I say I just cannot take part
In this game she wants to play
What is it that the dragon say
If you dare fire, you’ll get burned
And I’ve tangoed with the furnace and I’ve learned
To never quote the things you say
As if they were true anyway
Then I watch her eyes go wide
As if she has nothing to hide
Could it be in innocent prose
I have killed the horse I rode
To the pasture green
As evidenced by the queen
By my side
But she whispers “you are still alive”
As if the fact passes comprehension
And I never did get a mention
In any of the stories you told
“What?”, she says “I put you in bold
And in the aforementioned text
You never read the part where we had sex”
That stops me dead for a moment or two
Then I remember I’m dealing with you
And you’re a master of manipulation
And your education
Is like a trophy you wear
On your arm but I just tear
The fabric of that particular dress
But you look at me and I’m a mess
Spurning looks and throwing out words
As if they’ll ever be heard
By anyone in the abyss
And she says she’ll miss
The way my shy smile came to her like a gift
Oceans between us and the great rift

There’s Always Another Path

I walked out the door I thought I knew
But could I walk out with you
Fly out to New York
And the fork
In the road as it splits in two
Is just a bend when I’m with you
And you locked the gate on your way out
Enough to fill me with surreptitious doubt
As I wondered what could he mean
When he says he is caught in the dream
Does he not want to wake up
Why does he push away my love
When I let it be seen so clear
Does he not know I hold him dear
Or does he venom the rejection
When I failed to make a selection
When he offered me grey, green and yellow
I never was one to be mellow
Always verdant but fiery red
And I never had him in my bed
But I still wish I could see
His unbridled eternity
Burn with a ferocity untamed
You don’t know a think when its named
And I know he found it with her
But I trust the weather
To bring back the storm
That keeps my blood warm
As I stand at the outpost
As white as a ghost

Years Pass By

I’m on medication
Change the TV station
Because I am strong
And I have done nothing wrong
But I want to reveal
How I feel
For all the broken and shamed
For all of the days that cannot be named
Because of the darkness they emanate
And you feel trapped in that state
When you are in it
And the Church just says don’t sin it
But I’ve got to believe there’s another way
To articulate, to say
That your crime is being innocent and not knowing how
To deal with the weight in the fields you plough
And I want to issue to sky
That there is something that doesn’t die
In the perforate
You don’t need to equate
What you do with what you are
You are born from the scattered star
That once imploded
So though they may have goaded
You into submission
Remember your original condition
And that shine
God is neither yours nor mine
But the infinite
You are not alone tonight

Years Pass By

I’m on medication
Change the TV station
Because I am strong
And I have done nothing wrong
But I want to reveal
How I feel
For all the broken and shamed
For all of the days that cannot be named
Because of the darkness they emanate
And you feel trapped in that state
When you are in it
And the Church just says don’t sin it
But I’ve got to believe there’s another way
To articulate, to say
That your crime is being innocent and not knowing how
To deal with the weight in the fields you plough
And I want to issue to sky
That there is something that doesn’t die
In the perforate
You don’t need to equate
What you do with what you are
You are born from the scattered star
That once imploded
So though they may have goaded
You into submission
Remember your original condition
And that shine
God is neither yours nor mine
But the infinite
You are not alone tonight

Exposition Of The Blessed Sacrament

This is not a cry for help
It is an exposition
Of the Blessed Sacrament
Of that which is not caught in the dream
And everything that it may seem
I find there is a dagger in my heart
It catches my breath and I start
To breathe shallow and low
There are places I do not go
Because of how it makes me feel
And somehow I cannot deal
With his web of lies
That he calls a mere disguise
Somewhere in the shatterproof glass
And as we crash I see the class
We used to frequent
Die a slow death on what once heaven sent
Should I concede in being weak
It’s in every syllable he doesn’t speak
As he sits beside me on the bus
And I thought that I could trust
In his effervescent light
But the meaning of the word is spelt better than alright
As a saviour comes in once I open the door
Because I don’t want to feel this way anymore
Whether it’s in the halls of Dean Swift
Or a look I just received as a gift
From the boy next door
I can’t explain if you don’t already know, mo stór

The Bastardisation

How the hell did you get me on my knees
Praying to an idol that doesn’t believe
In the Lord I serve
I see an obstacle and I swerve
Out of their flight path
And it is not the God of wrath
That has sway
It is Love that will win the day
As everything unfolds
And fields of gold
Never seem to arise
Because I watch what dies
Rise
Again to break the chain
Of thinking we live only under the rain
Of a cloud that pours
Through out open doors
And even a crack is enough to let the light in
And something broke when I met him
I could feel the plummet anchor down
And now he knows who runs this town
When all the anarchy has subsided
And the Jesus you derided
Is a fortress deep and strong
I place my foot on air and I can do no wrong
As I take a leap of faith
Into the space, beyond the hate
What does it mean to be grown
I look at the chains that have flown
Away from the land we discover
It is more than lover to lover
It is consciousness recognising itself
In the cards that life has dealt
Did you see the star
Through the melted prison bar
That just seemed to go away
Because the confinement just cannot stay
Not in all this open grass
I promise that my heart will last
Far past the beating in my chest
You kiss the gate, I’ll do the rest

Maxing Out My Credit Card

The plate clattered to the floor
And the one I adore
Don’t love me no more
But enough of that, dry your tears
There’s snot on my sleeve and time gone by in years
How did the child in me
Grow to be
Thirty three
It’s almost unfathomable and destiny
Calls infintily
Go to your husband with the bracelet you wear
With the space you hold and the gown you tear
As he’s dancing with you
And the floor clears for you two
As he sweeps you up into his might
And you finally say “he’s a bit of alright”
And the mystery dances with itself through the night
Do you remember when we had that fight
You know the massive one on the phone
You know when I collapsed and you were alone
Despite company
Why didn’t you just hang up on me
If that’s what you felt
Was I the weight or the cards that you dealt
On speakerphone?
She moves round the kitchen of her home
And I resolve to close the window
Try as he may I will not let him in though
Because of the betrayal
And all of the advance that he put up for sale
When I paid him cash
But you are too close and so now I must dash
To the horizon, past the folds of land
And I know you don’t want to understand
But somehow you do
Don’t close that third eye to what’s coming through
It will set you free
There’s God in this, it isn’t just me
Playing pirouette
Your silhouette
Is stark against the rising sun
Wake up,baby, you’re the One

The Cloak Of Invisibility

I can feel him ache
And the cloak he forsake
When he was in my presence, dear
You don’t have to make it crystal clear
I already see
You don’t have to be mean when you’re talking to me
And she
Is not some wildebeest on the line
And loving someone is not a crime
Beyond the bounds of time and space
Beyond the limits of the human race
Because we were one in the land before
Before the earth shake and quake the floor
We’d be standing on
Now solid earth is gone
And we’re in the sea
With an ocean of water separating you and me
Did you call me Kairi
And, I, you Sora
Don’t you know I do adore ya
But enough of that
Vain promises won’t get you back
And I’m not sure I even want
To be the dorm that you haunt
With your magnificent smile
And the way you hold courage all the while
Your heart is beating for me
Don’t you know that I see
How could I not
And you say you forgot
But almost never crossed the finish line
And I could turn this whole world on a dime
To be near to you
Tell me what you would do
If I was in the room
I hear your harsh breath and the sound of doom
That permeates
And first dates
Can go either way
But do you mind if I say
That green or blue doesn’t matter to me
The windows to your soul from which you see

New Season

New season, can you accept it with grace
And it’s been an age since I’ve seen your face
And for all my intuitive understanding
I can never reply to what you are demanding
In splintered prose
And less travelled roads
It all gets so tiresome and weary
I just want someone to see it clearly
And I had thought that you
Had peered through
The vast abyss or canyon cavern
To something more than a tavern
With spirits and ale
A chalice that is not up for sale
I support the columns because should they fall
There would be an unholy clatter in the hall
Like that time we shattered glass
Or broke the branch of class
With our own brand of free
Now he’s talking to me
And it’s like all my dreams have come true
In the midst of me and you
And absent weight
A moment to forget the hate
And all that weighs us down
We could be the coolest folks in the town
Your words, not mine
And every crime
Has its resolution
And the solution
Is meeting them where they are
Every person, I don’t care who you are
Has a star
At the core of their being
Even though they may not be seeing
The light sublime
I wouldn’t trade it in if it were mine

Tidal Waves

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world

Snow Patrol
I watch the fallen blow like leaves
Killed for the sake of something they believe
And society manipulates
And makes you think that dates
Are the only measure of your success
Not a man til you watch a woman undress
But they’re lying in the aisles
And there are no styles
That can save you from that state of mind
A generation left behind
By the ruthless search for progress
You think you’re a “loser” but I confess
You have always been king in my eyes
But more, a love that never dies
And you take the knife
Take my hand, take a wife
It’s all in the possession
And my confession
Turns around on me
As you resolve to let me be free
When I just want your arms around me, tight
But are you alright
And you doubt my sanity
“Coz who would love the worst of me”
I see the man I adore
Lying on the floor
And my eyes tear up
Don’t you know you’re everything to me, love

Waking Up From This

The demise of all I know to be true
I was just walking through the wood with you
When a tree fell across my path
And I felt God’s wrath
Alight on my head
And if I woke up dead
I could testify
To the great lie
But the something there won’t let me go
I fell to the floor and now I know
I was on the verge of a precipice
Til death came to kiss
Me full on on the lips
And it was a magnificent eclipse
And it was only in the night that the sun shone
I only knew it when it was gone
In brilliant white and effervescence
I made a curse into a blessing
And I awoke groggy but sharp
My teacher wondered did she make a mark
On me making me stand that long
But it was a song
That fell from me
Not absent hunger, infinitely

Leaning Into The Abyss

Throwing boundaries to the wind
You know I’ve sinned
Letting you in that way
Because you would just walk away
When things would get hard
I can feel it in you, the glass shard
And I know I should have pity
But I would rather just run to the city
And build a new life there
You’ve got a wife and I don’t care
Because you are less to me now than you were before
And it is only the memory I adore
As I run my hands through your hair
I really think you were there
And I can’t understand
Why even half the man
You are would leave
You say it’s just something I believe
You proclaimate that it was I
Who left you to die
In the infertile and arid
It’s like the apple soured
In our mouths
And I know I have my doubts
But your eyes are so sincere
And I just want you to come near
And this is no ambivalence, it’s paradox
I heard you outside and I undid the locks
You know, the chain that’s on my door
But it doesn’t rain for you, mo stór
And I can hear you knock
I walk halfway across the room and I stop
Is Jeremy with ya? I wonder silent prose
And of all of the less travelled roads
Did you have to walk down mine
I don’t love things that sparkle and shine
I am into rocks
To reflect the diamond I am not

Atlantean Mimicry

And I started to hear it again
But this time it wasn’t the end

Florence + The Machine
I wait for the fall 
And I can hear it call
Like the water an age ago
I was with you and her, you know
In the presence of priestess
And who else? (You have one guess)
I was alone though
When I was birthed into the form you know
With no guidance to follow
And all my dreams were hollow
When I would catch one it would evaporate
And leave me in an altered state
Til the sun shone at fourteen
And Yeshua came and woke the dream
Up from where it lay
So forgive me if I trust him, okay
And you made a slur against his name
Now I can’t look at you the same
Because the one I will defend
Is more than a best friend
Can or will ever be
It is the root of you and me
I look away from your eyes
And something of our beauty dies
As desperation creeps across your visage
And it makes me feel kind of sad
And sorry for you, so
I let you back in but you know
That my terrain is rocky ground
The mountains in between Ireland and landNewfound
That once held so much more between
And every scream
Has it’s birth in the dissolution
Of that one resolution
When we gave our spirit to flesh
And lost the wings that we regret
But I feel mine burst through my skin
And across the ocean I fly to him
Whispering in his ear
Wake up, wake up, my dear
And somehow he hears my cry
And refrains from a goodbye
That I could not make stay
Not in my brightest day
And he clasps his hand in mine
And for a moment we stop time
As we remember who we are
I’m running my hand through the star
That shines above your hair
A kind of halo that just is there
And no rivers can run this out to sea
Because you are at the core of me
And somewhere we are one
Like the birth of the sun
In the sky so long ago
When the Creator said “Let There Be Light” so
There was
I love you just because

The Union Of One

I thought I just wanted it with someone else
But I’m beginning to see that my wealth
Comes from my solitude
And I don’t trade that in for any dude
And I try to reach across the aisle
For that guy that made me smile
In Dean Swift
When any kindness was a gift
Or someone far away
But like a starling I cannot stay
Past the point my heart commands
I am not putty in your hands
Though my soul is in love with you
It’s not because I wanted it to
Give itself away
And I cannot stay
Under the reign of a man
Who loves me only as deeply as he can
And if he cannot appreciate
Me in my singular state
Then I doubt that the affection was real
And not just some way to broker a deal
And I know what is up for sale
As eyes glaze over and without fail
A crime is committed
And I’m just not going with it
In the night
I would make one with you, alright
Just not at that price
And before you call me a bitch, be nice

Jealousy

I feel her pity
And it stays with me
As I try to discover
And go find another lover
Did she really not care
And did she dare
To just cross my path
Only to take our joining back
She takes my hand
And I am all sand
Barely holding it steady
I would be ready
To surrender it all to her
But what we were
Didn’t hold fast
Now I am just part of her past
And she wants no more to do with me
I think that she is through with me
Then love bursts a light
And I feel her through the darkness, there’s sight
And her warmth heats my bones
I’m not alone
And though I may be surrounded by people
And her meditating under a steeple
We are together
Somewhere beyond the weather
There are no lines she can draw
To stave off the great thaw
That is occurring
And she is murmuring
Something about hope
Did she she know how she left me to cope
With thread in my veins
Startled and suffering under the pains
Of being pure at heart
Then trades me in like a piece of art
On the wall
Did she love me at all
Or was it all lies
She’s crying her goodbyes
On the phone
But I speak back in monotone
Knowing full well where this is going
How has she no way of knowing
What she did to me
All in the name of setting me free

Kissing Kate

I was kissing Kate
When you saw me, wait
No I take that back
Am I about ready for another attack
Coz the man swoops and then he siezes
Takes the name of my Jesus
In vain
And the pain
Rocks into me, back and forth
And he would have no remorse
If I didn’t cut him off
But all is not lost
I see his ship struggling on the tide
And he is barely alive
So I throw him a raft and dive right in
I can see her next to him
And jealousy burns
Coz he never learns
About anything I try to impart
And I know I shouldn’t have given my heart
To the first knave who crossed my path
Now I must face the demon’s wrath
For daring to surrender
A part of me I can’t remember
There’s bullets in the gun
And he shoots at me with one
But I, transparent and impervious to
His hits just watch him black and blue
Try to swing
At the diamond ring
I wear on my left hand
And it’s all sand this passing through
How did I not see that girl with you
Thought she was just a friend
Isn’t that how all good things end
Now we can’t make amends
I see you old and weary
And you never did see me clearly
Or you wouldn’t have tried
To attempt to say I had died
Or try to put my life
Into the category of second hand wife
I fluctuate
And you date
A plethora of women
But all of them just leave you swimming
In a ocean you cannot name
And you may never see me again
With that carry on
It’s a quarter past one and I’m already gone

Itching To Tell

Surrounded by a darkness I can’t profess
And all the people just undress
And give lie to the love
That was gifted them from above
And I know it’s old fashioned to say
But I never could roll that way
Like the punches are not drunk
But my ship has already sunk
In the ocean of recompense
Everything is the present tense
And if you think there’s a past or a future
Then you are just ripping the suture
Open where the wound was healed
I looked down and the blood congealed
On my knee
I fell while running from destiny
And he wasn’t there to catch my hand
But I understand
Or at least I claim I do
All the while holding a grudge against you
Why don’t you burst right in the door
And tell me you want me more
Than anything or anyone
And I know your sun
Revolves around an earth I don’t see
Or am I Gallilean in my mystery
With my telescope
And eyes trained on a sky to hope
That the shooting star is me
Not old light echoing from history
That has long since died
And I never cried
When she brushed my hair
Because love just wasn’t there

Breaking Free

Locked box and chains
People are freed by rains
Though they seem to get wet
It’s just they forget
What it feels like to feel water on their skin
It pours on me so I just let it in
And it’s floods and its tears
And it’s years and years
In a cage of their making
But I’m not for the taming
As I bite back
I don’t want to attack
But I feel the fire burn
And I begin to learn
That keeping it in
Only creates hell within
I sit behind the curtain
And something’s hurting
So I glance past
The A’s I used to get in class
Always determined by someone else
Now they dictate my mental health
Set up archetypes
And ways I fail to be alright
Like grades on a paper
And he just wants to escape her
Though I don’t give it away
I just lie to myself anyway
And pretend that I can earth the ground
As they quench the sound
Of my fire burning
But the world’s turning
And every sun rotates
To burn on the line that equates
Itself with the midnight I’ve come to know
I just pray he does not let go
Before I get back to him
If I throw the game does he win?

Somewhere In The Garden

It turns out I like what trouble could be 
Coz he walked in, now he’s talking to me
And I could be shy and walk away
And act like I’ve got nothing to say
And you’re captivating
But who are you dating
On the sly
He is a helluva guy
But there’s something about him that’s sweet and sincere
And I have come to hold him dear
Close to the heart in my chest
More intimate than all the rest
And they scream at me
“He doesn’t love you, why don’t you see”
But I’m willing to hold out hope
And learn how to cope
With the uncertainty
And the possibility
Of a lack of reciprocation
In my elation
I never thought to ask were you free
To spend eternity with me

The Human Condition

The grey encircles and unwinds
And if you believe in it you are defined
As what you are
Under the star
We call sun
But everyone
Is more than the warmth that escapes
When the spirit leaves the shapes
Of human form
And you may have been born
But from whence you came
And they gave you a name
But is it essentially you
I have been wanting to
Extricate from the girl you know
Into something that is slow
And soft and sweet to the touch
Always professing what it loves so much
Whether it’s man, beast or rock
And it is woman that I am not
As I own this skin
Only to unite with him
In the subterfuge
And do you want me to prove
My credentials to you
As if I’m applying to
Some burden out of the blue
And you’re starstruck in the moment we meet
And, man, I can feel the heat
Issue from your side to mine
Will it be like this all of the time?
I risk a glance up
And all I see is love
Burning in his silhouette
How could I ever forget
The mark that man made on my heart
Reaching out to me in the dark

Weaving A Thread

I’m working off the grid
To reinforce what ever is
And it is made of light
To make the spirit ignite
But no one knows what I”m doing
And the dream that I’m pursuing
Seems ever elusive
And I am perfusive
In spelling out exactly what I entertain
To rise above the pain
Into a realm beyond the dust
Somewhere that you can trust
Because it will not fall away
What’s there when nothing else can stay
Is only known
When you let go of the garden grown
With fertiliser
And equalisers
Distort the sound
But the ground
Is green and when you touch your feet
To the earth you really meet
And for the first time
You let go of the crime
Committed against you
And present tense you
Into forever
This endeavour
Will not go wrong
It is built on the power of song
But you can’t hear the music if the noise
Captures you and the boys
Are all beautiful
But the wool
You use to touch my skin
Is enough to make me sin
And depart
From the calling of my heart
That speaks in silence pure
A Word that will endure

Vitality

The knife in my back burned a hole in me 
And he was blamed for my history
Because a girl, one time, long ago
Decided that she didn’t want to know
Me, anymore
So I slammed the door
With the full force of broken weather
But times changed and I woke up in the heather
The fragrance had put me to sleep
And the trance had been deep
And when I saw her again
I wanted to make amends
Understand her point of view
But I sin and turn away from you
And when I meet the dearest soul
When I am eighteen years old
I do the same thing to him
Hammer him with my broken wing
Til he’s all tears and blood
Asking why someone so good
Would batter and bruise
Something that they just couldn’t use
And I just wanted to say
I’m sorry for that day
I’m glad that you moved on
Though I’m sorry that you’re gone
And I know there’s two sides to the story
And you were worried you would bore me
With your effervescent heart
But I couldn’t start
Couldn’t begin to say
The terror in the going away
That I foresaw
And the law
Won’t break if I run
So I say I met someone
And look you in the eyes
And tell you lies
Til the subterfuge
Turned deluge
And all the rain
Flooded me again
So I ran to the door and screamed out your name
You came to my side without shame
And now you will not let go
Til its the truth that you know
And I guess it’s this
I dream, everyday, of our first kiss
Somewhere in the stars
Or in one of my cars
Silver and blue
I still keep trinkets of you
Like the CD’s
You used to listen to when you were on your knees
I got them second hand
For the boy that loved the band

Skating On Thin Ice

I’m skating on thin ice arguing with him
And I never know when I’m gonna fall in
Into the water beneath
I see the cracks under our feet
And get the sense it’s going to break
Before the dawn can wake
Us up from the cold
I was brave and I was bold
But he knew where I was weak
And so I could not speak
About what I knew
Though I tried to communicate it to you
The wilderness ensues
The wolves come and devour the blues
I had reserved for you
I’m not red coz you wanted to
Warm your hands by the fire
You are deeper but I am higher
Opposite sides of the same spectrum
And he’s always worried that I will reject him
If he only knew
That he is every page I ever rifled through
Searching for the one
And the Son
Of Man is beautiful
But he is not made of cotton wool
And every time I reach out to touch
You it feels like I hurt you so much
So I withdraw my arm
Say “it’s just a false alarm”
I wouldn’t worry about me
I’ll get over the history
We share
And you dare
To splice the tape
And I escape
Out the back door
But I slip in an “I love you more”

D4-ed

Should I let him just go be with his girl 
Or should I confess that he is my world
As he blisters under skin
Dying to be let in
And I hear the knock at the door
But I don’t think I know him anymore
Like a stranger
And the danger
Is we could go on like this
Indefinitely, like our first kiss
Lingers on my breath
As the cold holds onto regret
Like an icy morning breeze
All I can do is freeze
As he spurns me
And turns me
Away
What more is there to say
When you have opened your heart
To someone and they’ve taken a part
Of it and run away
It was a terrible day
But you made it worse
As you rehearse
Ways to let me down easy
But you grit your teeth and your anger frees me
To tell you where to shove your compassion
You aim at me like an assassin
And you hit the mark
Do you fumble in the dark
Or open the windows to let the light in
Is it sacred when she is with him
Or does he live on borrowed time
Counting the pebbles on the shore that’s mine

Wandering Dublin

I jumped on a number ten
Will I find him again
And the bus takes me through Donnybrook
But, no matter where I look,
I can’t find you
And if you wanted to
You would be here
It’s so crystal clear
But my gaze just roams
Across crystals that once were stones
And you’re in the hall with me
Giving in like eternity
Has missed that lesson in Quinn
“She let me in”
I hear you in my mind
They say telepathy is one of a kind
And can only happen with twins
But the flame burns and I throw everything in
As Biffy sings about machines
And Florence wakes from dreams
Of a normal life
But she is king, she is no wife
And so it goes with us
I live in the broken trust
When I spilled my truth out on the phone
And you left me all alone
To face, by degrees, a tribunal
On exactly what I’m doing
Singing up to someone on a balcony
“But do you think she really likes me”
I sigh and blush
As he gives me a big time rush
Cindered bones on the astral plane
But I’m alone in my room and your name
Makes me hide away
Because what will they say
When they see the fool I am
For a man who only ever can
Say, “we should hang out sometime?”
Don’t you see you are mine?
And I am yours
Forever, unconditionally, knock on all the doors
You’ll never find anything like this
I miss the fact that our first kiss
Is in the future or the past, long ago
When we walked different bodies into the snow
And woke up lying in separate beds
Is all this in our heads?
Or do we segue into the fifth dimension
Where reading minds is just an extension
Of love that reaches out
And quenches all doubt
I know you’ve found a port to dock
But could you spare me some time, or not….
I guess you’re a busy man
But I still shake your hand
Before you walk away
Why can’t you hear what I do not say?

The Poetry Is In The Streets

I miss you on a train

I tell the time by the tick of my clock
And it has sure been ticking a lot
Lately
As time speeds up
And we have only ten years, love
To find a way to each other’s star
Because this car
Will only go so far
In this lane
And afterwards, it might not be the same
I don’t know if this will mean anything to you
But I had to tell you, I hope you understand, do you
And you’ve got a significant other
And, brother
It gets up in my grill
That you have another person to thrill
With your six pack of words
Connected like I’ve never heard
And you string the beans
All the way from our teens
To present day
I liked you that way
But I’m sure you knew
Didn’t you
As you walk away
I want to scream, to shout, to say
Don’t go! Just stay with me
Should I let the man be free
Or should I come with a ball and chain
Asking him to dance with me in the rain
When we live in the floods of tears
And though it has been years
Time and space are relative
And I forgive
Every trespass you make
Did you think I could fake
That wondered glance
I’m giving us another chance

Diamonds In The Rock

Opening the door on the bitterness I hold like a grudge
From that time she made me trudge
Through the snow in the coldest winter
And it couldn’t have been simpler
I wanted to walk away
And she made it easy to say okay
When she said she couldn’t relate to me
Now there are men who would date me
And she called me a princess in an ivory tower
Looking down on those beneath her power
And it struck a nerve so tense
The air got thick and dense
With fog and indecision
With her accusations and her derision
As she pointed the finger at me
And Doireann walked out on infinity
When she saw me fight with you
I tried to justify a position and it happened to
Make me surrender
So I just remember
Pulling all my boats to shore
As though I didn’t love you anymore
Because you took the sharp end of the knife
And plunged it into the back of my life
And good friends stab you in the chest
But you never graduated to best
Not in the way they had
You always talked about something bad
That haunted some kind of vision you’d see
One day the bad thing was me
And you struck me with the back of your hand
Til I’m face down in the sand
And the grains
Eventually became the pains
That threw me into a new revelation
Like turning off the tv station
The static just went quiet
And the riot
Turned to this calm
And what you had in your palm
Emptied itself of waves
And it is the Lord who saves
Not I
So turn to Him and cry
And he will catch your tears
I’ve held this in for years and years
Thinking that I owed you secrecy
Because of the things you whispered to me
In undertones
And before phones
Were there to document
I couldn’t have said where your love went
But I don’t want something back
When it turns to attack
At the slightest provocation
And there was elation
When the burden was lifted
And something was gifted
To the girl
Who thought the end of the world
Had come to her door
But there is always something more
To see
I was plunged into the mystery
And the clouds murmured and announced
I was to be more than renounced
By someone I cared for
There is an open door
And what I was before
Faded from view
The one who had been destroyed by you
I’m talking to Ilona and I look round and see
You at the back staring at your copy
And I feel a wave of empathy
And long to reach out
But something closes down and my doubt
Tells me that she’s not worthy of
The kind of love
That is boundaryless
She would just make another mess
In the room of forgiveness
But sometimes I still ponder the fact
That I never stopped loving her back
In all my turning away
And the things that did not stay
And somewhere in the unknown
There are flowers yet to be grown
In the garden with the seeds
A thing doesn’t grow until it bleeds
And love isn’t free until it needs
Nothing at all
I stand in the waterfall
And let it pour down its truth
You were the burden of my youth
And let this be the proof
Of coal turned diamonds on a tin roof

Walking Alone With You

Do I give my secret away?
That I cannot stay
Any place I put my foot upon
I love the moment then it’s gone
And I met him at the dance
And took a chance
Following him outside the door
When he got kicked out by the bore
Who was handling security
He had lit up the fire inside of me
And they all gathered round the gates
But you know time waits
For no man
So I return so I can
Dance the night away
I move slow til I realise they
Have left him all alone in the cold
And I know I’m getting old
But I just cannot be having that
So I go back
To the place I had left
And it was absolute theft
I see him walking up the street
To God knows where and God knows who he’ll meet
In that state
I’m in high heels and I teeter after him
Wondering whether my integrity will win
Out over my fragile pride
But I look at him and inside
Just does a flip
And he doesn’t know it
Does he? Anyway
I meet him and he says
My name, slow and long
And I know I belong
With him leaning his weight on me
A part of me has been set free
To have him by my side
And the knowledge that he’s alive
Somewhere in the world
Still brings light to this girl
And we are just a happy pair
Happy that the other is there
But a little confused
Is his ego bruised
Coz the next day he won’t talk to me
I call his name and he ignores me
And I stammer and pause
Did I break some of his laws
When I chose to save his skin
From anyone who might have been watching him
And thought to steal a dime
You see it in the news all the time
But we get off the bus
And I’ll be damned if he won’t trust
Me with the burden
Of really having heard him
When he met me in the hall
He looked at me, confused is all
And I say that it was the best night
You know the one I’m moving with
And he kinda looks to his side
Please, be glad that I am alive
And he slows his pace
So I can get a read on his face
And we talk a little and smile and I throw a laugh
And his gaff
Is just across from mine
But is this the last time
We will ever share together
Coz the weather
Is shifting
And the season is misting
As the course comes to an end
Will I lose a best friend
To the grey advance of time
Will I ever get to call you mine
In any meaningful way
Is there nothing that you have to say
He meets my eyes again and my blood stills
But there are plays of wills
In the fray
And I know we’re going away
And I feel a grief I can’t explain
As though I’m standing in the rain
Begging him to just make a move
So there’s nothing that I have to prove
To anyone
And the sun
Doesn’t shine out of him letting me go
Or the whirlpool I wrote about in the months after, so
Does thirteen years mean anything to you
And if I send this will you
Remember
The moments we felt timelessness engender
A place in the heart we shared
Because I know you cared
About me
And free
And all as I am
I still would understand
If you wanted to make two
It’s not like I wouldn’t have wanted to
So I meet you in the ether
It’s not over for me either

Like A Millionaire

I remember running my fingers through the city
And it was a pity
You were not there
Because you would see how much I care
About the fire that burns
Into being every time the world turns
And the girls were all I knew
When I would topple a little askew
Out of the nearest club
And love
Was a foreign word
Til I met a beautiful bird
A phoenix rising from the ashes
I hit the button and, man, it cashes
Out
And my self doubt
Falters as he looks me in the eyes
And I’m reborn as that which never dies
And I could say his name
But I’m sure he knows, all the same
Just who he is
He is the boy I let live
As he circled my gravity
At a point of infinite density
But something draws him back to me
Even after all these years
And the snowflakes pouring tears
As they melt in the sun
He is the one
I knew better than my old coat
He kept my hope afloat
When I picked him up in my car
And I drove us all to a bar
Somewhere near Eddie Rockets
And he empties his pockets
Buying a drink for me
Made me think about eternity
And what we could be
If I let him come close to my mystery
He throws his arm around my shoulder
And now that I’m older
I can appreciate
The fact that we didn’t date
But just revelled in the pure
That passed between us sure
Of it’s place in the atmosphere
An elliptical orbit that has found me
Circling back to where we were born
And the glasses that I would have worn
If I hadn’t given my gaze
To the boy I chose to save
At seventeen
And I woke his dream
Up mid nightmare
I didn’t mean to scare
You with my heavy handedness
It’s just you seem in distress
And I want you to know
That the light never lets you go
And in the bask of this peace
I remind them I never cease
To be where I promised I am
Loving Him is God’s plan

Back In New York

I found a silhouette in the dark 
And somehow it was you and you made a mark
On me
I let it go free
Because history
Can’t pave the way for a new surrender
How do you still remember
What we were
I saw you looking at her
For guidance as to what to do
As if she was afraid of you
Falling in love with me
And it’s simplicity
To just close the door and walk away
But I feel you in every word I say
To everyone around the centre
There is a door only you can enter
And the core of me wraps around the tree
As we crash into infinity
With each other by the side
Of the part of us that we hide
From the eyes that see
And decide who we get to be
And you’re lovely and have eyes for days
And lashes that break the resolve I have, it sways
Like a sapling in the wind
And our love never sinned
Not a day in it’s life
And you may have a wife
By now, I do not know
But this thing does not let you go
And I just wanted to say
I love you, okay?

Inaction And Powerlessness

Motaz Azaiza 
I believe ya
When you say that we will do nothing
I crave to turn motion into something
To call on the sea, to call on the tide
To leave you alive
Because you are not just a number
And people are dying of hunger
In the Gaza Strip
Meanwhile some men equip
Themselves with guns
Someone’s daughters, someone’s sons
And we are the ones
With our hands on the triggers because we pay
For people to get blown away
Whether in silence or in voice
Every movement is a choice
And I want to you to know you’re not alone
Though I only have a phone
To talk to you through
But I wanted to
Say that I will do all in my power
To make sure that no other tower
Is blown to pieces and knocked to the ground
While children scream and hide from the sound
As the rubble hides bodies brutalised
And you may be less than human in their eyes
But the light that lights you up
Is more than enough for me, love
Please don’t let the dark encounter
The vulnerable who want you
To just let them be
In my heart and soul Palestine is already free

Verdant Green

I found some kind of enlightenment
In the darkest depression
And here is my confession
Lightning struck and killed the girl
It was the birth of a new world
Where everything was verdant green
And it was as though I had never seen
Anything before
And the first time I found you, mo stór
I realised what I had taken birth for
To find you and reunite
So when we fight
Just remember it’s the clash of Titans
And when I’m writing
I only ever think of you
In the various forms I see you through
Coz we have been separated
And you dated
Other people
And the steeple
Is what I fear the most
I see you and her and the ghost
Of what I’ve lost comes to haunt me
Did he ever even want me
So I hold the waves back
But they crash to the shore like an attack
And I can’t keep them in
Its always gonna be him
My eternal partner in the sea
That somehow waits for me
And when the tide has pulled you low
I dive in and rise you til it’s safe to let go
And you never see the elf
Who fixes your broken parts like mending delft
In my grandmother’s glass cabinet
Did you think I was done with it?
Look a little longer and harder too
I am always with you

Tell You How I Feel

Things are complicated 
Because there are people you have dated
And you take that shit seriously
But did you ever think of me
In that time
I’m in the RDS and the light Sublime
Reminds me you exist
And the exam I’m doing must have missed
The mark
Coz I only got a C in the dark
In school I used to excel
But this college thing is gone to hell
I only want to be a writer
Not a businesswoman or a firefighter
And I’m sitting in the shower in Nutgrove Avenue
The water falls on my legs and I think of you
As it makes ripples in the bath
I wonder if I could get back
To the place I was before
With your hand in mine, mo stór
And it seems like the demons chase
But there is an eternity they cannot erase
And I don’t know where you are
You could be in Australia or in a bar
For all I know
I had to stop staring out the window, so
I no longer see the scenery
That used to greet my inquiry
But when I realised you were with her
I doubted all we were
And I don’t blame you friend
But my spying has to end
I just want to let you know
My love for you will never go
And if you ever come to my door
I’ll be here for you like I was before

That’s all

Second Glances

Singing songs of our tragedy
Watching you parting from me
As you walk down by Mel’s
Past their silent peeling bells
And you look over your shoulder
And now that we’re older
Can I recount the tale to you
I was watching too
From the car park with the bag you had lifted
Into the back of the bus like the request had gifted
You with sudden insight
I don’t want to fight
“But you’re wrong”
Then I hear your song
And I break down
Do you think you could tolerate this town
If it meant you could have me
Or is our home history
As you “move on”
It’s just another word for being gone
And I let my hand drop
For all we are, we are not
Lovers in the physical dimension
And my hope is just an extension
Of the trust you had in me
I let you go free
I damn well push you away
I have to make you not stay
As the grief cracks the floor
In a direct line to you, mo stór
And why, you ask
I look up without a mask
But you don’t see
You have unveiled me
In all my pretension
Could you not mention
That I have died and now the sun
Shines through me on everyone
But there is no person there
And you swear
That it’s okay
But did you look deep enough into me that day
I pause
And you break all the laws
To destroy the handshakes we made
In the light that casts no shade
On the ground
Do you think you will come around
And burn for me
Infinitely
Coz that summer was not the end of it for me ❤️

Hiding Part Of Myself

Hiding part of myself so I won’t attract the male 
Because I can feel the guard rail
He puts up to reject
Any attempt to intercept
Me from him
And I cannot win
When I want to connect
With everyone that I select
To be part of myself
There is verdant wealth
In my soul
And the waves roll
And crash upon the shore
I never wanted anything more
Than to share our purity
For free
Like a gust of wind
It is not to have sinned
It is to have trust
And watch the monsters go bust
In the love we share
I may be concealed but I’m still there

Love Bubbles

I found love bubbles in the male
But something in me is not for sale
And every man I get close to
Just wants to own what I give to you
And it issues from the Source
I let the river run and there’s no remorse
That could ever make me sorry for what I said to you
I let you in because I wanted to
I unlocked the gate and held it open
And you looked into my eyes like “here’s hoping”
But I was never to be girlfriend material
I am bound to the ethereal
And I take my light from the depths
Not a women to bury her regrets
In a man
As if she can
And then a child
Watch them while they’re still wild
And growing up and young
Then she wonders what she’s become
I never wanted to embody
What becomes run down and shoddy
So I fight it out with a knife and a cut
But
I end up just the same
Worn out and tired and grey
I’ll be free if that’s what you say
But will never build the blockade
I am not all the rage
You pour into you pull and push
For some kind of rush
To keep you from the dark
And the mark
It made on you
Is an X marks the spot for finding what’s true

Talking With Keav

I was talking with Keav for the longest time
It was before I thought to rhyme
One word with another
And I saw him as a brother
Who had been brought low
By people who did not know
What they were talking about
And I can sense your doubt
In what I’m saying to you
But you’re eyes change and suddenly want to
Stare into my soul and capture
But I am all rapture
And I do not roll like that
I don’t try to take it back
Coz you do not lack
What you think you do
But I’m not the girl for you
My heart has been sold
To the solemn fields of gold
I used to wander in my teens
And then the man of my dreams
Shone like a shooting star in the sky
And I know life can never die
Not in the way I thought before
Now we don’t speak anymore
Coz you blocked me on Facebook
I used to love to look
And see that you were there
And I know that you care
And probably feel the burn
That never got to take it’s turn
Spinning around that celestial light
But I’m still here alright
And it you ever want to try
It is not goodbye
Beautiful boy in your machination
Don’t get lost in your PlayStation

The Present Moment

The present moment has nothing in it 
I try and try and try to win it
But nothing gives
As the spirit lives
In another dimension
And the extension
Of my soul in another form
Is burning a fire to keep me warm
And I can feel the heat from here
Like a sun that I hold dear
And he wants me to know
That he never let me go
When he called me a bitch
And tried to burn the witch
At the stake
He called me fake
So I bit back
And hit him where I could see the lack
Reside
And alive
We are at war
What the hell is it for
Because we cannot be One
He loves the stars, I love the Sun
And he took a swipe at the crucified
So I blocked him out coz Jesus died
For me and him
And sin
Has no power now
Not in the world his peace is allow
To flow uninterrupted
And I’ve wondered if I’ve fucked it
Up because that man
Takes more of me than I can
Ever bear to consternate
And it is a kind of fate
To admit
That the gearstick
On his car
Drives me pretty far
From where I thought I was
And it’s because
Of our original state
I did not make you wait
I just doubted your intention
But don’t worry, I will not mention
It to her
Because what we were
Was sacred, secret too
And I’m not sure if you
Were ever aware
That I was there
When you spoke the words
I’m just letting you know, I heard

Always On Eleven

Walking into the dawn for the last time
And it was a crime
To shut down my cocaine heart
Because he had a part
Of me I can’t take back
And his name makes me jack
The car right back up
I told him I was in love
With him and his stunned response
Was enough to ensconce
Me and so I ran away
I didn’t care what he had to say
He told me it “was not his problem”
So I didn’t try to solve him
And why he was being so cold
I thought I was brave, I thought I was bold
Now he’s shacked up with another chick
And I forgive him for being a dick
To me on the phone
Just leave me the fuck alone
But he knocks and knocks until I answer the door
“Do you not love me anymore?”
Like I am supposed to adore
Being knocked to the floor
By a blow to the chin
Yes, I was with him
And what’s it to you
His eyes tear up, why do we do what we do
To each other
He is my soul brother
And I want to see him well
But he says happiness is a form of hell
With a bow tied on the knot
Did you think I forgot
What you whispered in the dark
And the mark
It made on me
I loved you, that’s why I set you free…

The March Of Time

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I don’t have to wait
Just so I can call it fate
And find the perfect partner in you
There were other men I stared into
In my years in the valley
And Sally
Announced my proclaimation
When I met you at the station
Where we had docked our phones
In our separate spheres of alones
And I click high
Just so I can say goodbye
To a scene I dressed for
And I may have called her a whore
In my mind
Because she chose to find
All I had left behind
In the wilderness I face
Why should I care who you date
And it is an adjacent slur
And you don’t deserve her
When you typify
The way you lie
To yourself in the grass
I know it will not last
But I wish you both well
From my vantage point in hell
Bitter and bubbling from the froth
Of all that I am not
Then John crosses my sightline
And I have to double take the time
I spent staring at you
I think this guy will do
The job you vacated
And it was never stated
As such
But he just loves so much
He reminds me of something clear
And for a moment I forget you, dear

Strange Conversations

There is a dragon at the end of the road
And he threatens and he goads
And I want to stop taking the pills
Because they make me feel ill
And tired and grey and heavy and thin
And they only separate me from him
But every time I do
I face a backlash from you
As your tail curls round to see
What whip it can get at me
And I find myself back in the arms of thieves
Because some part of me believes
That I am a danger to myself
So I ask them about mental health
And they consign me to a locked ward
And I am so bored
With all the women I have to escape
And find Superman’s cape
Tied around a male nurse
And I don’t have to rehearse
The joy
When that boy
Looks me dead in the face
And says it does not go to waste
His name was Emmet and there was a gap
Some kind of terrain I could not map
As he came into my room
Where I had been curled up in a ball of doom
Just anticipating
The TV station
They would play tonight
But you stumble and I laugh but it’s alright
And you fall into the chair
By my bed and your hair
Matches your beard
And I’ve always been weird
But you don’t seem to care
Even though I am in there
And you’re on the other side of the glass
I see you ponder and it’s fuckin’ class
You look up towards the sky
And I wonder if you’ll ever die
Because that kind of eternal is forever
And I found a place that would never
Ever let me go
There was a lion on my notebook I coloured in so
They would know
That a whip and a chair
Is not enough to get me to cut my hair