Author: Laura

In The Midst Of Subterfuge

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In the midst of subterfuge
I painted my lips a shade of rouge
That he had edified 
From the cavern where my soul died
Its first death
In the season of regret
And folly 
There’s holly
Hanging from the trees
But you wouldn’t believe 
Me if I told you what I saw
When the ground started to thaw
And winter gave way
To something some people say
Is only myth 
But I’m sitting in it
And it is open space
The kind of dream that lays waste
To reality
It dealt its cards and folded me 
On the bay 
I was laughing at the good of it anyway
But anyhow, it was not to be avoided 
And I surrendered to the void it
Brought to bear upon my world
I lived and died a young girl 
At fourteen and eight months
And sometimes people can be cunts 
When they’re talking to you 
Like you should give up all that you
Are 
And some star
Shines over the crib
So that I would know it is his 
And I should kneel 
But I would’ve known it by the feel 
Of salvation and the sacred
Then he gave me Ken and the aching 
Started from miles away
Because neither of us can stay
In these forms 
And the bodies that the sun warms
Will one day fade to ash
I know it since before the crash
Of all that I had known 
He was barely even grown 
When I lost him to the water
And I grew up a daughter 
But will never be a wife
I just promised him my life
And I don’t take it back
Not even when he is on the attack
And throwing bricks through the window
He asks me do I sin though
And I just reply
That the ego die
On a slab
And I couldn’t call that bad

Tasting Honey

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I’d give all my money 
Just to taste honey
But it’s gotta be on my terms
And she burns
In her own passionate elixir
Doesn’t need a man to fix her 
But just to share
A road that doesn’t go anywhere
Coz she’s made that decision
And she risks derision 
For not falling into the fold
But the fields are gold
And she watched the life die
And there were times she wanted to try
To see beyond the far distant shore
Now her eyes don’t look that way anymore
Not since she met her scene 
In a man she knew from a dream
And he is making one with a star
But neither of them know what they are
And she is all philosophy 
But a dream can’t make reality
Out of a fabric thin
But I could’ve sworn I was with him
Years ago
And for years, you know
We’d dance under the sheets
Amid the gravity that made us meet

Royal Flush

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We fought, will we ever make it right
And there’s so many people by your side
Do I ever get to touch the hand
That touched mine like the promised land
And somehow I trust, in the wilderness
That someday I’ll undress
In front of a mirror that sees the truth
Reflected like a prism of our youth 
Thirty three years 
And one too many tears
Staining the concrete of our cheeks
I waited for weeks
That August time 
Hoping that you might be mine
I thought you would send a text
One that I would not reject
And my heart beat double time 
At the thought of your shine
And I sat on the tiled floor
In Pauric’s house and thought of you, mo stór
And I may have warned you off
But all is not lost
Even after all these ages
All those songs and all these pages
Do you hear me in the midst of the snow
I wonder how you could not know 
But you do
Somewhere in the heart of you
And I connect
With the pat of you that you select
To go to the front of the war
And I’m glad you’ve made a home with her
For she has a kind gaze
And you are the man I love to save
Even if it means letting you go
To love a woman other than me, so 
Let bygones be bygones and let it be known
That I had a full house when my cards are shown

If You Ever Happen To Be Listening

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If you ever happen to be listening to me 
Know that you are my infinity
And I know I got mad on the phone
But I did not mean to leave you alone
Only spitfire my burning heart
So you would know it’s been yours from the start
And I know that you’ve had it hard
I picked up the window where you left the glass shard
And know it’s the one you used to look through
Now there is only me and you
To remind you of what once there was
Would you read this just because
I wrote if for you
You don’t have to say you love me too

(Tentatively) Starting A Patreon

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Patreon Link

I’m tentatively starting a Patreon account. If you feel to, check it out and let me know what you think of what I’m writing. It’s going to be a little different than The Poetry Book, but hopefully will still keep the same essence at its core

Hoping you are all well,

Laura

From The Green Green Grass Of Home

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From the green, green grass of home
Leave them alone 
Don’t drop the rubble on limbs
Meanwhile the soldier grins
Despite his terror 
And the error 
Of all that has come to pass 
Is that somehow it cannot last 
In spite of all the flying swords
And the politicians with words
Seek to distance the fold
From the aforementioned fields of gold
And it’s like a story that has always been told
That somewhere in the midnight
It all breaks into daylight
But it takes some time to show
And I hold on as he’s letting go
And my tears are like a wave to crash
On a shore where my grief will smash
Everything to pieces 
Why is it that everything deceases 
And moves away from where it’s been 
If life is a dream
Then does it wake
When the earth quake 
Will all that is not true
I lay my head into you

I Love Him

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I just want everyone to know I love him
He’s like a branch out on the limb of a tree
And there’s no question that he is for me
In all his subterfuge and camouflage 
I bear the weather and the barrage
Of insults that are hurled at me
When I think of the girl that is not me
Folded into paper cut shapes
And the heart in me escapes 
To somewhere near the coast
That is made for us both
And I know that the sea
Will wash away the eternity
That was branded on our skin
Somehow love was made to win
And I was made to be by your side
Just don’t let the tide
Drag you under
Find my number
Amid the binary code
And walk down the less travelled road

The Heavy Weight Of Supposition

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The heavy weight of supposition 
Fills their guns with ammunition
And they use it to fire at the foe
I hold on and then I let go 
Of what anchors me to the earth
And sometimes love has to hurt
For it to be real
The power to feel 
Everything that’s come to pass
Will the darkness last
Or will it give way
To the long longed for break of day

The Pure At Heart

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Something protects the pure at heart
And it is more than the taking part
It is the impulse that propels them on
Even when everything else is gone 
It shows its face and it is revealed
As the moment that I slowly reeled
Against the dying of the light
And found something that is alright
But everything’s blind fragility 
And everything that means anything to me
Will pass away with the morn
If you must die it means you were born
At sometime in the past
And anything that’s bound can never last
But the permanent 
Is that thing that never went
Away, no matter what they say
When I was younger I used to pray
But then the silence ate me up
Two months before I realised it was love
That had come to save me 
Like the promise God gave me 
When I was ten
And I didn’t want to be like any of them
When I grew up
Or eleven and I’m looking above
A reason to find 
Because I am going out of my mind
Searching for the man who went away
The one I loved in the fray
And he visits me, here and there
But I crave the holy stair
That will lead me to his light
And I don’t have the will to fight
Anymore
I surrendered and it opened the door 



Image Credit: https://pin.it/5uJfF0g5O

Overgiving

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Overgiving
And I was mute and forgiving 
Of a multitude of crimes 
She overran me a thousand times 
Til I drew the last straw
And I haven’t melted since the last thaw 
Came in over the mountains
And my heart throws water out in fountains 
Til it fans over the sea
And cloaked in grey mystery 
Is the something that aches
And there is that which forsakes
Even the staunchest of hearts
And I take part
In the fight that we play
Til she told me I have to go away
And leave her for a season 
I didn’t know the reason 
But I fought to find 
The part of me that had been left behind
In the darkest storm
There was an icy grasp that no fire could warm
Til I happened upon the sun
That shines from teh beginning of no one 
In the heart of the pole 
It is the essence of soul 
In the mist of the rain 
And I cannot contain
It now it wants to expel 
The earth of its submergence in hell

Image Credit: Allyouneediswall on GIPHY

Looking For Liaisons

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She’s so pure and undefined
And I daren’t touch her with my mind 
Because it’s a tenuous thing 
And I’m always wondering about that ring 
And what it might mean 
All I seem to know is that something woke the dream 
Up from where it lay
As it issued from me that day
And I called it God laughing at me 
But it was more than that, my spirit had been set free
Not to lie dormant or peaceful as the grave
I have things to do and people to save
And I remain mute and I remain dumb
But I watch as the world succumb
To the worst of the evil and I’m reminded of the quote
That someone somewhere mysteriously wrote
That evil thrives when good people do not act
So I set forth on a path I can’t take back 
And I would not erase what has caused me trouble 
And now there are people buried under the rubble 
Of all that has fallen 
And does the darkness hear it calling 
In the midst of this sea
What if it is all up to me
To play my part
And to do it with heart
But I defer
To the wisdom that issues from her
And she denies
That this world of beauty could be all lies
As maya contains
The reason for all of the pain 
That has avalanched 
On the tree as the various branched
Out from the core 
Now I don’t know who I am anymore
But I trust 
In the thing that propels me, I must
Get it out of here
And let her know I still hold her dear

Outrunning Death

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I’ve been outrunning death since I was fourteen 
But time has come to wake the dream 
And face the demon that’s been chasing me down
I’ve been many things to the people of this town 
But one thing I know, one thing that’s for sure
Is that the midnight showed me something so pure
And I do not regret the darkness that descend
On a heart that was broken, never to mend 
Only to realise it’s true nature
The meteor hit the earth and I was born in a crater 
In the mists of time like some super to heal 
I woke into the moment that I let myself feel 
All of the tumult of a world on its edge
They’re invading Iraq and I writhe in my bed
Thinking of all the people that die
Because one nation doesn’t know how to cry
For the fallen, for the lost
For the ones who had to pay the cost 
Of a multitude of sins
And is it always the strongest who wins
Or sometimes may it be the one with the true heart
It’s all about spirit and the taking part
In a future that we can never deny
Will lead even the strongest to die 
And accept that we are of a sort of form
That only pumps blood when we are warm
And when the moment comes can we face it with grace
I learned when I was young that I had a place
In the monumental struggle for peace to abide 
But I ran away and found someone where to hide 
But I must level the playing field once more
I loved and I lost but it was for you, mo stór

The Refuge I Take (From All That’s At Sea)

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The hero of the story is a girl with no name 
And she cast aside all that would cause her shame
And she has been unkind and she has been cruel
But there’s a part in my heart she will always rule 
In the midst of the snowstorms and all the rains
She has been one that shared all my pains
And all of my joys
Above and beyond all the passing boys
That flit across the screen 
I thought when I was a child I would lose her to dream
But sleep never took what we are 
Like night cannot take the brightest star 
And if God made the sun
Did he make her to be my only one 
In shallow pools and in the depths 
In the midnights and in the regrets 
In the wonders I’ll never forget
She reminds me there’s life in me yet
As I age and grow suddenly slow
I haven’t climbed trees for an eon or so 
But I long to race tides across the shore
And shout to a man that I love him more
More than he could ever love me
But he’s lost in the ocean that is all at sea
Plotting and planning boats to overtake
But she just does things for their own sake
And maybe I idealise 
But she is the truth beyond all the lies
Beyond all the fabrication and the sewing thread
She’ll be my best friend til the day that I’m dead

Awake Inside The Dream

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Did we make it this far
To be awake within the dream 
The firefights and storms
The illusion as it seems 
And the trapping of delusion
Spreads its grasp 
And I wonder how long 
This darkness can last 
But somehow the sun breaks 
And something within me wakes 
To spell the end of the old domination 
And I’ve learned more through my miseducation 
Than I ever could through books
i steal in glances and furtive looks 
All that is needed to contain
Sometimes the solution is in the pain
That seems to encase the human race
Nothing is bad but that it shows another face
To the sky 
And we are all gonna die
Someday 
But when we live do we walk the way
Of the liberated 
And if we do can it be stated
In between lines and in the silence
I watch men do all the violence
That could ever be contained
And in the summer, it rained 
Like it always does on an Irish Sea
Somehow the time has come to me 
To stand up and be counted
And for all that has amounted 
To my demise
It’s only sunset for the morning to rise
And break a new vista across the scene
Can we speak what can never be seen

The Audacity

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They’re using gas
To break down the resistance
To wipe a people from existence 
And I know it’s not a popular opinion 
But how do you defend war
Even when you think you know what it’s for
As children die and adults scream
Because this is not just a dream 
We are having, a shared collective thread
This is about people murdered in their bed
As the vast swathe goes by unconcerned
As people watch their families burned
I try it raise my voice to say
This is not okay
As Palestine, oh, Palestine
One day there will come a time 
Where the indigenous don’t rot 
In a land time forgot 
When the powers that be know the worth
Of the innocent they choose to hurt
And I know they have plans, I know they have reasons
But this winter has no seasons 
And no hope to abate
Don’t make our brothers and sisters wait
To be considered human
Wake and realise what you’re doing

The Woven Thread

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I write about the woven thread
It piles upon me as I lay in bed
And her unexpected answer rings in my mind
As I wonder what’s left behind 
When she chooses to abandon the earth
And I wonder does it hurt
To be sky high in the clouds
When I talk to her out loud
In the silence of my room
And the doom
Doesn’t reach this place, this far
I was just driving in my car
When the moon came down to kiss the ground
And now I hear it in every sound
That ever makes itself known to me 
The liberation of being set free

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A Peace Of Your Soul

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You’re sending me a peace of your soul
The part where you are whole
And united we standing on the same ground
I love the sound
Of the click and the flash
And the button you can’t take back
When you hit send
There are no notes to amend 
I love the love I let escape
And pierce a hole in your hate
You know the one you reserve for self and other 
The one that knocks down sister and brother
Til they’re nothing but failed monuments to the sky
And we’re both gonna die
Someday
But we shouldn’t let that get in the way
Of our short lived love in the form
Representing something that was never born
And holds its strength in the unknown
You take the biscuit and my mind is blown
Far past the point of wilful abandon
And some would say; you’re totally random 
But there’s method to the madness you see
I am not all incoherency
But something suited to your prose
The way you pick the strings you chose
To adorn your guitar
My God, I love the way you are

Getting The Message To Where It Needs To Be

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I’m getting the message to where it needs to be
Because people drown in a foot of sea
Water as it comes up to their throats
They don’t know they can stand up and hope floats
And seeks eternity in the bones
Of the body the soul has made home
We tiptoe around the fact
It doesn’t help that I want him back
In spite of all his flaws
And the way the icicle thaws
As it hangs like a stalactite
From the room I ignite 
With my Lára flame 
You know everything is in a name
And I am not to be crossed
But look, baby, all is not lost
Not if you count the shipwreck safe
But there’s a coast we can escape
To if you just open your eyes
But you keep them closed and something dies
In the subterfuge
And it’s all rouge 
Everywhere
And people who just do not care
About what has come to pass
And the part of love that last
Far past the point of surrender
I do everything I can to make you remember 
But you are lost in your nonchalant 
As I pick an adequate font 
To write out your epitaph 
You know you made me laugh 
So hard that day
But was I laughing at what goes away 
When the midnight is done
And there is a sun
That does not need light 
Or fusion to combust into all that’s right
And I know you hobble and I know that spiders’ webs
Weave their tendrils above your head
I’m just here to be a reminder
That if you look you will find her
Right where she always was
Under the stone of your in-laws

Immortality

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I hold back what I really want to write
Because I’m scared that it might be shite
Or even worse profanity
Paying testament to insanity 
Held beneath the skin I walk
It’s only trouble that I talk 
As I head to the abyss
Fearing for a night to kiss
And they held me in a healing balm 
The doctor took my shattered arm 
And led me to the door
They drove me there and what’s more
Is I kind a liked it when 
Barry called my name again 
Out like a prophet does Jesus
Lord knows how I need it 
When I’m in the smoking room 
With Aoibhín and the sonic boom 
As we draw rainbows on the wall
In pens my parents brought me from outside
Outside the cavern that keeps me alive
For the time being 
It’s a different way of seeing 
But it’s true enough to say
I couldn’t have had it any other way 
And the doctor mumbles and utters vague treatises under his breath
On what the war with self does to make you forget 
What you have come to be
But I cannot shake the feeling that he cannot see
Just who he is talking to 
“Delusions of grandeur, we’ll add that one to
The long list we made of your faults”
And I kinda get sick of opening vaults
For them to plunder my wealth
In the name of mental health
And I wonder what they’re preserving 
Or what God they are observing 
When they make idol tropes
And then they tell Shauna how to cope
With the fact that she can’t bear
To get out of the clothes that she seems to wear
Each and every single day
But I won’t let her leave that way
So I go and sit by her side
When she’s in the horrors and I abide
I feel it fall away from her grasp
You know that bitch, that poisoned asp
And I crush its head on the floor
You’re not taking aim at someone I adore
Even if it’s by her doing 
It’s not something you should be pursuing 
In any eventuality
Me, St. Pat’s and immortality

Over Amsterdam

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I watch the dagger plunge into her heart
When I say I just cannot take part
In this game she wants to play
What is it that the dragon say
If you dare fire, you’ll get burned
And I’ve tangoed with the furnace and I’ve learned
To never quote the things you say
As if they were true anyway
Then I watch her eyes go wide
As if she has nothing to hide
Could it be in innocent prose
I have killed the horse I rode
To the pasture green
As evidenced by the queen 
By my side
But she whispers “you are still alive”
As if the fact passes comprehension 
And I never did get a mention
In any of the stories you told
“What?”, she says “I put you in bold
And in the aforementioned text
You never read the part where we had sex”
That stops me dead for a moment or two
Then I remember I’m dealing with you
And you’re a master of manipulation 
And your education
Is like a trophy you wear 
On your arm but I just tear
The fabric of that particular dress
But you look at me and I’m a mess
Spurning looks and throwing out words
As if they’ll ever be heard
By anyone in the abyss
And she says she’ll miss
The way my shy smile came to her like a gift
Oceans between us and the great rift

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There’s Always Another Path

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I walked out the door I thought I knew
But could I walk out with you
Fly out to New York 
And the fork 
In the road as it splits in two
Is just a bend when I’m with you 
And you locked the gate on your way out 
Enough to fill me with surreptitious doubt
As I wondered what could he mean
When he says he is caught in the dream
Does he not want to wake up
Why does he push away my love 
When I let it be seen so clear
Does he not know I hold him dear 
Or does he venom the rejection
When I failed to make a selection
When he offered me grey, green and yellow
I never was one to be mellow
Always verdant but fiery red 
And I never had him in my bed
But I still wish I could see
His unbridled eternity 
Burn with a ferocity untamed
You don’t know a think when its named 
And I know he found it with her
But I trust the weather
To bring back the storm
That keeps my blood warm
As I stand at the outpost
As white as a ghost

Years Pass By

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I’m on medication
Change the TV station
Because I am strong
And I have done nothing wrong
But I want to reveal 
How I feel 
For all the broken and shamed
For all of the days that cannot be named
Because of the darkness they emanate
And you feel trapped in that state
When you are in it
And the Church just says don’t sin it
But I’ve got to believe there’s another way
To articulate, to say
That your crime is being innocent and not knowing how
To deal with the weight in the fields you plough
And I want to issue to sky
That there is something that doesn’t die
In the perforate
You don’t need to equate
What you do with what you are
You are born from the scattered star
That once imploded
So though they may have goaded
You into submission
Remember your original condition 
And that shine 
God is neither yours nor mine
But the infinite 
You are not alone tonight

Years Pass By

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I’m on medication
Change the TV station
Because I am strong
And I have done nothing wrong
But I want to reveal 
How I feel 
For all the broken and shamed
For all of the days that cannot be named
Because of the darkness they emanate
And you feel trapped in that state
When you are in it
And the Church just says don’t sin it
But I’ve got to believe there’s another way
To articulate, to say
That your crime is being innocent and not knowing how
To deal with the weight in the fields you plough
And I want to issue to sky
That there is something that doesn’t die
In the perforate
You don’t need to equate
What you do with what you are
You are born from the scattered star
That once imploded
So though they may have goaded
You into submission
Remember your original condition 
And that shine 
God is neither yours nor mine
But the infinite 
You are not alone tonight

Exposition Of The Blessed Sacrament

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This is not a cry for help
It is an exposition 
Of the Blessed Sacrament 
Of that which is not caught in the dream
And everything that it may seem 
I find there is a dagger in my heart
It catches my breath and I start
To breathe shallow and low
There are places I do not go 
Because of how it makes me feel
And somehow I cannot deal
With his web of lies
That he calls a mere disguise
Somewhere in the shatterproof glass
And as we crash I see the class
We used to frequent 
Die a slow death on what once heaven sent
Should I concede in being weak
It’s in every syllable he doesn’t speak
As he sits beside me on the bus
And I thought that I could trust
In his effervescent light
But the meaning of the word is spelt better than alright
As a saviour comes in once I open the door
Because I don’t want to feel this way anymore
Whether it’s in the halls of Dean Swift
Or a look I just received as a gift 
From the boy next door
I can’t explain if you don’t already know, mo stór

The Bastardisation

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How the hell did you get me on my knees
Praying to an idol that doesn’t believe
In the Lord I serve
I see an obstacle and I swerve
Out of their flight path 
And it is not the God of wrath
That has sway
It is Love that will win the day
As everything unfolds
And fields of gold
Never seem to arise
Because I watch what dies
Rise
Again to break the chain
Of thinking we live only under the rain
Of a cloud that pours
Through out open doors 
And even a crack is enough to let the light in
And something broke when I met him
I could feel the plummet anchor down
And now he knows who runs this town
When all the anarchy has subsided 
And the Jesus you derided
Is a fortress deep and strong
I place my foot on air and I can do no wrong 
As I take a leap of faith
Into the space, beyond the hate
What does it mean to be grown 
I look at the chains that have flown
Away from the land we discover
It is more than lover to lover
It is consciousness recognising itself
In the cards that life has dealt 
Did you see the star
Through the melted prison bar
That just seemed to go away
Because the confinement just cannot stay
Not in all this open grass
I promise that my heart will last
Far past the beating in my chest
You kiss the gate, I’ll do the rest

Maxing Out My Credit Card

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The plate clattered to the floor
And the one I adore 
Don’t love me no more
But enough of that, dry your tears
There’s snot on my sleeve and time gone by in years
How did the child in me 
Grow to be
Thirty three
It’s almost unfathomable and destiny
Calls infintily
Go to your husband with the bracelet you wear
With the space you hold and the gown you tear
As he’s dancing with you
And the floor clears for you two 
As he sweeps you up into his might
And you finally say “he’s a bit of alright” 
And the mystery dances with itself through the night
Do you remember when we had that fight
You know the massive one on the phone
You know when I collapsed and you were alone
Despite company
Why didn’t you just hang up on me 
If that’s what you felt 
Was I the weight or the cards that you dealt
On speakerphone? 
She moves round the kitchen of her home
And I resolve to close the window
Try as he may I will not let him in though
Because of the betrayal 
And all of the advance that he put up for sale
When I paid him cash
But you are too close and so now I must dash
To the horizon, past the folds of land
And I know you don’t want to understand
But somehow you do
Don’t close that third eye to what’s coming through
It will set you free
There’s God in this, it isn’t just me
Playing pirouette
Your silhouette
Is stark against the rising sun
Wake up,baby, you’re the One

The Cloak Of Invisibility

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I can feel him ache
And the cloak he forsake 
When he was in my presence, dear
You don’t have to make it crystal clear
I already see
You don’t have to be mean when you’re talking to me
And she 
Is not some wildebeest on the line
And loving someone is not a crime
Beyond the bounds of time and space
Beyond the limits of the human race
Because we were one in the land before
Before the earth shake and quake the floor
We’d be standing on
Now solid earth is gone
And we’re in the sea
With an ocean of water separating you and me
Did you call me Kairi
And, I, you Sora
Don’t you know I do adore ya
But enough of that 
Vain promises won’t get you back
And I’m not sure I even want
To be the dorm that you haunt
With your magnificent smile 
And the way you hold courage all the while 
Your heart is beating for me
Don’t you know that I see
How could I not 
And you say you forgot
But almost never crossed the finish line
And I could turn this whole world on a dime
To be near to you
Tell me what you would do 
If I was in the room
I hear your harsh breath and the sound of doom
That permeates
And first dates
Can go either way
But do you mind if I say
That green or blue doesn’t matter to me
The windows to your soul from which you see

New Season

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New season, can you accept it with grace
And it’s been an age since I’ve seen your face
And for all my intuitive understanding 
I can never reply to what you are demanding
In splintered prose
And less travelled roads
It all gets so tiresome and weary
I just want someone to see it clearly
And I had thought that you
Had peered through
The vast abyss or canyon cavern
To something more than a tavern
With spirits and ale
A chalice that is not up for sale
I support the columns because should they fall
There would be an unholy clatter in the hall
Like that time we shattered glass
Or broke the branch of class
With our own brand of free
Now he’s talking to me
And it’s like all my dreams have come true
In the midst of me and you
And absent weight
A moment to forget the hate
And all that weighs us down 
We could be the coolest folks in the town
Your words, not mine
And every crime
Has its resolution
And the solution
Is meeting them where they are
Every person, I don’t care who you are
Has a star
At the core of their being 
Even though they may not be seeing
The light sublime
I wouldn’t trade it in if it were mine

Tidal Waves

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If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world

Snow Patrol
I watch the fallen blow like leaves
Killed for the sake of something they believe
And society manipulates
And makes you think that dates
Are the only measure of your success
Not a man til you watch a woman undress
But they’re lying in the aisles
And there are no styles 
That can save you from that state of mind
A generation left behind 
By the ruthless search for progress
You think you’re a “loser” but I confess
You have always been king in my eyes
But more, a love that never dies
And you take the knife
Take my hand, take a wife
It’s all in the possession
And my confession
Turns around on me 
As you resolve to let me be free
When I just want your arms around me, tight
But are you alright 
And you doubt my sanity
“Coz who would love the worst of me” 
I see the man I adore
Lying on the floor
And my eyes tear up
Don’t you know you’re everything to me, love

Waking Up From This

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The demise of all I know to be true
I was just walking through the wood with you
When a tree fell across my path 
And I felt God’s wrath
Alight on my head 
And if I woke up dead
I could testify
To the great lie 
But the something there won’t let me go
I fell to the floor and now I know
I was on the verge of a precipice
Til death came to kiss
Me full on on the lips
And it was a magnificent eclipse
And it was only in the night that the sun shone
I only knew it when it was gone
In brilliant white and effervescence 
I made a curse into a blessing 
And I awoke groggy but sharp
My teacher wondered did she make a mark
On me making me stand that long
But it was a song 
That fell from me 
Not absent hunger, infinitely

Leaning Into The Abyss

.Reading time 1 minute.
Throwing boundaries to the wind
You know I’ve sinned
Letting you in that way
Because you would just walk away
When things would get hard
I can feel it in you, the glass shard
And I know I should have pity
But I would rather just run to the city 
And build a new life there
You’ve got a wife and I don’t care 
Because you are less to me now than you were before
And it is only the memory I adore
As I run my hands through your hair
I really think you were there 
And I can’t understand 
Why even half the man
You are would leave
You say it’s just something I believe
You proclaimate that it was I 
Who left you to die
In the infertile and arid
It’s like the apple soured 
In our mouths
And I know I have my doubts
But your eyes are so sincere
And I just want you to come near
And this is no ambivalence, it’s paradox
I heard you outside and I undid the locks
You know, the chain that’s on my door
But it doesn’t rain for you, mo stór
And I can hear you knock
I walk halfway across the room and I stop
Is Jeremy with ya? I wonder silent prose
And of all of the less travelled roads
Did you have to walk down mine 
I don’t love things that sparkle and shine
I am into rocks
To reflect the diamond I am not

Atlantean Mimicry

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And I started to hear it again
But this time it wasn’t the end

Florence + The Machine
I wait for the fall 
And I can hear it call
Like the water an age ago
I was with you and her, you know
In the presence of priestess 
And who else? (You have one guess)
I was alone though 
When I was birthed into the form you know
With no guidance to follow
And all my dreams were hollow
When I would catch one it would evaporate
And leave me in an altered state 
Til the sun shone at fourteen
And Yeshua came and woke the dream 
Up from where it lay
So forgive me if I trust him, okay
And you made a slur against his name
Now I can’t look at you the same 
Because the one I will defend
Is more than a best friend
Can or will ever be
It is the root of you and me 
I look away from your eyes
And something of our beauty dies
As desperation creeps across your visage
And it makes me feel kind of sad
And sorry for you, so 
I let you back in but you know
That my terrain is rocky ground
The mountains in between Ireland and landNewfound
That once held so much more between 
And every scream 
Has it’s birth in the dissolution 
Of that one resolution
When we gave our spirit to flesh 
And lost the wings that we regret
But I feel mine burst through my skin
And across the ocean I fly to him
Whispering in his ear
Wake up, wake up, my dear
And somehow he hears my cry
And refrains from a goodbye
That I could not make stay
Not in my brightest day
And he clasps his hand in mine
And for a moment we stop time 
As we remember who we are
I’m running my hand through the star
That shines above your hair 
A kind of halo that just is there
And no rivers can run this out to sea
Because you are at the core of me
And somewhere we are one
Like the birth of the sun
In the sky so long ago
When the Creator said “Let There Be Light” so
There was 
I love you just because

The Union Of One

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I thought I just wanted it with someone else
But I’m beginning to see that my wealth
Comes from my solitude
And I don’t trade that in for any dude
And I try to reach across the aisle
For that guy that made me smile 
In Dean Swift
When any kindness was a gift 
Or someone far away
But like a starling I cannot stay
Past the point my heart commands
I am not putty in your hands 
Though my soul is in love with you 
It’s not because I wanted it to 
Give itself away 
And I cannot stay
Under the reign of a man
Who loves me only as deeply as he can 
And if he cannot appreciate
Me in my singular state
Then I doubt that the affection was real
And not just some way to broker a deal 
And I know what is up for sale
As eyes glaze over and without fail 
A crime is committed 
And I’m just not going with it
In the night
I would make one with you, alright
Just not at that price
And before you call me a bitch, be nice

Jealousy

.Reading time 1 minute.
I feel her pity
And it stays with me 
As I try to discover
And go find another lover
Did she really not care
And did she dare
To just cross my path
Only to take our joining back
She takes my hand
And I am all sand
Barely holding it steady
I would be ready
To surrender it all to her
But what we were
Didn’t hold fast
Now I am just part of her past
And she wants no more to do with me
I think that she is through with me
Then love bursts a light
And I feel her through the darkness, there’s sight
And her warmth heats my bones
I’m not alone
And though I may be surrounded by people
And her meditating under a steeple
We are together 
Somewhere beyond the weather
There are no lines she can draw
To stave off the great thaw
That is occurring 
And she is murmuring 
Something about hope
Did she she know how she left me to cope
With thread in my veins
Startled and suffering under the pains
Of being pure at heart
Then trades me in like a piece of art
On the wall
Did she love me at all
Or was it all lies
She’s crying her goodbyes
On the phone 
But I speak back in monotone 
Knowing full well where this is going 
How has she no way of knowing 
What she did to me
All in the name of setting me free

Kissing Kate

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I was kissing Kate
When you saw me, wait
No I take that back
Am I about ready for another attack
Coz the man swoops and then he siezes
Takes the name of my Jesus
In vain
And the pain
Rocks into me, back and forth
And he would have no remorse
If I didn’t cut him off
But all is not lost
I see his ship struggling on the tide
And he is barely alive
So I throw him a raft and dive right in
I can see her next to him
And jealousy burns 
Coz he never learns
About anything I try to impart
And I know I shouldn’t have given my heart
To the first knave who crossed my path
Now I must face the demon’s wrath
For daring to surrender
A part of me I can’t remember
There’s bullets in the gun
And he shoots at me with one
But I, transparent and impervious to
His hits just watch him black and blue
Try to swing
At the diamond ring
I wear on my left hand 
And it’s all sand this passing through
How did I not see that girl with you
Thought she was just a friend
Isn’t that how all good things end
Now we can’t make amends
I see you old and weary
And you never did see me clearly
Or you wouldn’t have tried
To attempt to say I had died
Or try to put my life
Into the category of second hand wife
I fluctuate 
And you date
A plethora of women
But all of them just leave you swimming 
In a ocean you cannot name 
And you may never see me again
With that carry on
It’s a quarter past one and I’m already gone

Itching To Tell

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Surrounded by a darkness I can’t profess
And all the people just undress
And give lie to the love
That was gifted them from above 
And I know it’s old fashioned to say 
But I never could roll that way 
Like the punches are not drunk 
But my ship has already sunk 
In the ocean of recompense 
Everything is the present tense
And if you think there’s a past or a future 
Then you are just ripping the suture 
Open where the wound was healed
I looked down and the blood congealed 
On my knee
I fell while running from destiny
And he wasn’t there to catch my hand
But I understand 
Or at least I claim I do
All the while holding a grudge against you 
Why don’t you burst right in the door
And tell me you want me more
Than anything or anyone 
And I know your sun
Revolves around an earth I don’t see
Or am I Gallilean in my mystery
With my telescope 
And eyes trained on a sky to hope
That the shooting star is me
Not old light echoing from history
That has long since died 
And I never cried
When she brushed my hair
Because love just wasn’t there

Breaking Free

.Reading time 1 minute.
Locked box and chains
People are freed by rains
Though they seem to get wet
It’s just they forget 
What it feels like to feel water on their skin
It pours on me so I just let it in 
And it’s floods and its tears
And it’s years and years
In a cage of their making
But I’m not for the taming
As I bite back
I don’t want to attack 
But I feel the fire burn
And I begin to learn 
That keeping it in 
Only creates hell within 
I sit behind the curtain
And something’s hurting
So I glance past 
The A’s I used to get in class
Always determined by someone else
Now they dictate my mental health
Set up archetypes 
And ways I fail to be alright 
Like grades on a paper
And he just wants to escape her
Though I don’t give it away
I just lie to myself anyway
And pretend that I can earth the ground
As they quench the sound
Of my fire burning
But the world’s turning 
And every sun rotates
To burn on the line that equates
Itself with the midnight I’ve come to know
I just pray he does not let go 
Before I get back to him
If I throw the game does he win?

Somewhere In The Garden

.Reading time 1 minute.
It turns out I like what trouble could be 
Coz he walked in, now he’s talking to me
And I could be shy and walk away
And act like I’ve got nothing to say
And you’re captivating 
But who are you dating 
On the sly
He is a helluva guy
But there’s something about him that’s sweet and sincere
And I have come to hold him dear 
Close to the heart in my chest
More intimate than all the rest
And they scream at me 
“He doesn’t love you, why don’t you see”
But I’m willing to hold out hope
And learn how to cope 
With the uncertainty
And the possibility 
Of a lack of reciprocation
In my elation
I never thought to ask were you free
To spend eternity with me

The Human Condition

.Reading time 1 minute.
The grey encircles and unwinds
And if you believe in it you are defined
As what you are 
Under the star
We call sun 
But everyone
Is more than the warmth that escapes
When the spirit leaves the shapes 
Of human form 
And you may have been born
But from whence you came 
And they gave you a name 
But is it essentially you 
I have been wanting to
Extricate from the girl you know 
Into something that is slow
And soft and sweet to the touch
Always professing what it loves so much
Whether it’s man, beast or rock
And it is woman that I am not 
As I own this skin
Only to unite with him 
In the subterfuge 
And do you want me to prove
My credentials to you 
As if I’m applying to 
Some burden out of the blue 
And you’re starstruck in the moment we meet
And, man, I can feel the heat 
Issue from your side to mine
Will it be like this all of the time? 
I risk a glance up
And all I see is love
Burning in his silhouette 
How could I ever forget 
The mark that man made on my heart
Reaching out to me in the dark

Weaving A Thread

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I’m working off the grid
To reinforce what ever is 
And it is made of light
To make the spirit ignite 
But no one knows what I”m doing
And the dream that I’m pursuing 
Seems ever elusive
And I am perfusive 
In spelling out exactly what I entertain
To rise above the pain
Into a realm beyond the dust 
Somewhere that you can trust
Because it will not fall away
What’s there when nothing else can stay
Is only known 
When you let go of the garden grown 
With fertiliser
And equalisers 
Distort the sound 
But the ground
Is green and when you touch your feet
To the earth you really meet
And for the first time
You let go of the crime
Committed against you
And present tense you
Into forever 
This endeavour 
Will not go wrong
It is built on the power of song 
But you can’t hear the music if the noise
Captures you and the boys
Are all beautiful 
But the wool
You use to touch my skin
Is enough to make me sin
And depart
From the calling of my heart
That speaks in silence pure
A Word that will endure

Vitality

.Reading time 2 minutes.
The knife in my back burned a hole in me 
And he was blamed for my history
Because a girl, one time, long ago
Decided that she didn’t want to know
Me, anymore
So I slammed the door
With the full force of broken weather
But times changed and I woke up in the heather
The fragrance had put me to sleep
And the trance had been deep
And when I saw her again
I wanted to make amends
Understand her point of view
But I sin and turn away from you
And when I meet the dearest soul 
When I am eighteen years old
I do the same thing to him
Hammer him with my broken wing
Til he’s all tears and blood
Asking why someone so good
Would batter and bruise
Something that they just couldn’t use 
And I just wanted to say
I’m sorry for that day
I’m glad that you moved on
Though I’m sorry that you’re gone 
And I know there’s two sides to the story
And you were worried you would bore me
With your effervescent heart 
But I couldn’t start
Couldn’t begin to say
The terror in the going away
That I foresaw
And the law
Won’t break if I run
So I say I met someone 
And look you in the eyes
And tell you lies 
Til the subterfuge
Turned deluge
And all the rain
Flooded me again
So I ran to the door and screamed out your name
You came to my side without shame
And now you will not let go
Til its the truth that you know 
And I guess it’s this 
I dream, everyday, of our first kiss
Somewhere in the stars 
Or in one of my cars 
Silver and blue 
I still keep trinkets of you
Like the CD’s 
You used to listen to when you were on your knees
I got them second hand
For the boy that loved the band

Skating On Thin Ice

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I’m skating on thin ice arguing with him
And I never know when I’m gonna fall in 
Into the water beneath
I see the cracks under our feet
And get the sense it’s going to break 
Before the dawn can wake
Us up from the cold
I was brave and I was bold
But he knew where I was weak 
And so I could not speak 
About what I knew
Though I tried to communicate it to you
The wilderness ensues 
The wolves come and devour the blues
I had reserved for you
I’m not red coz you wanted to
Warm your hands by the fire 
You are deeper but I am higher
Opposite sides of the same spectrum
And he’s always worried that I will reject him
If he only knew 
That he is every page I ever rifled through
Searching for the one
And the Son
Of Man is beautiful 
But he is not made of cotton wool
And every time I reach out to touch
You it feels like I hurt you so much
So I withdraw my arm
Say “it’s just a false alarm”
I wouldn’t worry about me
I’ll get over the history
We share
And you dare 
To splice the tape
And I escape
Out the back door
But I slip in an “I love you more”

D4-ed

.Reading time 1 minute.
Should I let him just go be with his girl 
Or should I confess that he is my world
As he blisters under skin 
Dying to be let in
And I hear the knock at the door
But I don’t think I know him anymore
Like a stranger
And the danger
Is we could go on like this
Indefinitely, like our first kiss
Lingers on my breath
As the cold holds onto regret
Like an icy morning breeze
All I can do is freeze
As he spurns me
And turns me 
Away
What more is there to say
When you have opened your heart
To someone and they’ve taken a part
Of it and run away
It was a terrible day
But you made it worse
As you rehearse
Ways to let me down easy
But you grit your teeth and your anger frees me
To tell you where to shove your compassion
You aim at me like an assassin 
And you hit the mark
Do you fumble in the dark 
Or open the windows to let the light in
Is it sacred when she is with him
Or does he live on borrowed time
Counting the pebbles on the shore that’s mine

Wandering Dublin

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I jumped on a number ten
Will I find him again 
And the bus takes me through Donnybrook
But, no matter where I look, 
I can’t find you
And if you wanted to 
You would be here
It’s so crystal clear
But my gaze just roams
Across crystals that once were stones
And you’re in the hall with me
Giving in like eternity
Has missed that lesson in Quinn
“She let me in”
I hear you in my mind
They say telepathy is one of a kind 
And can only happen with twins
But the flame burns and I throw everything in
As Biffy sings about machines
And Florence wakes from dreams
Of a normal life
But she is king, she is no wife
And so it goes with us
I live in the broken trust
When I spilled my truth out on the phone
And you left me all alone
To face, by degrees, a tribunal 
On exactly what I’m doing
Singing up to someone on a balcony
“But do you think she really likes me” 
I sigh and blush
As he gives me a big time rush
Cindered bones on the astral plane
But I’m alone in my room and your name 
Makes me hide away
Because what will they say
When they see the fool I am
For a man who only ever can
Say, “we should hang out sometime?”
Don’t you see you are mine? 
And I am yours
Forever, unconditionally, knock on all the doors
You’ll never find anything like this 
I miss the fact that our first kiss
Is in the future or the past, long ago
When we walked different bodies into the snow
And woke up lying in separate beds
Is all this in our heads? 
Or do we segue into the fifth dimension 
Where reading minds is just an extension
Of love that reaches out
And quenches all doubt
I know you’ve found a port to dock
But could you spare me some time, or not….
I guess you’re a busy man
But I still shake your hand 
Before you walk away
Why can’t you hear what I do not say?

The Poetry Is In The Streets

.Reading time 1 minute.

I miss you on a train

I tell the time by the tick of my clock
And it has sure been ticking a lot
Lately 
As time speeds up
And we have only ten years, love
To find a way to each other’s star
Because this car
Will only go so far
In this lane
And afterwards, it might not be the same
I don’t know if this will mean anything to you
But I had to tell you, I hope you understand, do you
And you’ve got a significant other 
And, brother
It gets up in my grill
That you have another person to thrill 
With your six pack of words
Connected like I’ve never heard
And you string the beans
All the way from our teens
To present day
I liked you that way
But I’m sure you knew
Didn’t you 
As you walk away
I want to scream, to shout, to say
Don’t go! Just stay with me
Should I let the man be free
Or should I come with a ball and chain
Asking him to dance with me in the rain
When we live in the floods of tears
And though it has been years
Time and space are relative
And I forgive 
Every trespass you make 
Did you think I could fake
That wondered glance
I’m giving us another chance

Diamonds In The Rock

.Reading time 4 minutes.
Opening the door on the bitterness I hold like a grudge
From that time she made me trudge
Through the snow in the coldest winter
And it couldn’t have been simpler
I wanted to walk away
And she made it easy to say okay
When she said she couldn’t relate to me 
Now there are men who would date me 
And she called me a princess in an ivory tower
Looking down on those beneath her power
And it struck a nerve so tense 
The air got thick and dense 
With fog and indecision
With her accusations and her derision 
As she pointed the finger at me 
And Doireann walked out on infinity
When she saw me fight with you
I tried to justify a position and it happened to
Make me surrender
So I just remember
Pulling all my boats to shore
As though I didn’t love you anymore 
Because you took the sharp end of the knife 
And plunged it into the back of my life
And good friends stab you in the chest
But you never graduated to best
Not in the way they had 
You always talked about something bad
That haunted some kind of vision you’d see
One day the bad thing was me 
And you struck me with the back of your hand 
Til I’m face down in the sand
And the grains 
Eventually became the pains
That threw me into a new revelation
Like turning off the tv station 
The static just went quiet
And the riot 
Turned to this calm 
And what you had in your palm 
Emptied itself of waves 
And it is the Lord who saves
Not I
So turn to Him and cry
And he will catch your tears
I’ve held this in for years and years
Thinking that I owed you secrecy 
Because of the things you whispered to me
In undertones 
And before phones 
Were there to document 
I couldn’t have said where your love went 
But I don’t want something back
When it turns to attack
At the slightest provocation 
And there was elation 
When the burden was lifted
And something was gifted 
To the girl 
Who thought the end of the world
Had come to her door
But there is always something more
To see
I was plunged into the mystery
And the clouds murmured and announced
I was to be more than renounced 
By someone I cared for 
There is an open door 
And what I was before 
Faded from view
The one who had been destroyed by you 
I’m talking to Ilona and I look round and see
You at the back staring at your copy
And I feel a wave of empathy
And long to reach out
But something closes down and my doubt
Tells me that she’s not worthy of 
The kind of love
That is boundaryless
She would just make another mess
In the room of forgiveness 
But sometimes I still ponder the fact 
That I never stopped loving her back
In all my turning away
And the things that did not stay
And somewhere in the unknown
There are flowers yet to be grown 
In the garden with the seeds
A thing doesn’t grow until it bleeds
And love isn’t free until it needs 
Nothing at all
I stand in the waterfall
And let it pour down its truth 
You were the burden of my youth
And let this be the proof 
Of coal turned diamonds on a tin roof

Walking Alone With You

.Reading time 4 minutes.
Do I give my secret away?
That I cannot stay
Any place I put my foot upon 
I love the moment then it’s gone
And I met him at the dance
And took a chance 
Following him outside the door
When he got kicked out by the bore
Who was handling security
He had lit up the fire inside of me 
And they all gathered round the gates
But you know time waits 
For no man
So I return so I can
Dance the night away
I move slow til I realise they
Have left him all alone in the cold 
And I know I’m getting old 
But I just cannot be having that
So I go back 
To the place I had left
And it was absolute theft
I see him walking up the street 
To God knows where and God knows who he’ll meet 
In that state
I’m in high heels and I teeter after him 
Wondering whether my integrity will win
Out over my fragile pride
But I look at him and inside
Just does a flip
And he doesn’t know it
Does he? Anyway
I meet him and he says
My name, slow and long
And I know I belong
With him leaning his weight on me
A part of me has been set free
To have him by my side 
And the knowledge that he’s alive
Somewhere in the world
Still brings light to this girl 
And we are just a happy pair
Happy that the other is there
But a little confused
Is his ego bruised
Coz the next day he won’t talk to me 
I call his name and he ignores me 
And I stammer and pause
Did I break some of his laws
When I chose to save his skin
From anyone who might have been watching him 
And thought to steal a dime
You see it in the news all the time 
But we get off the bus
And I’ll be damned if he won’t trust
Me with the burden
Of really having heard him 
When he met me in the hall
He looked at me, confused is all
And I say that it was the best night
You know the one I’m moving with
And he kinda looks to his side
Please, be glad that I am alive
And he slows his pace
So I can get a read on his face
And we talk a little and smile and I throw a laugh
And his gaff
Is just across from mine
But is this the last time
We will ever share together 
Coz the weather
Is shifting 
And the season is misting 
As the course comes to an end
Will I lose a best friend
To the grey advance of time
Will I ever get to call you mine
In any meaningful way
Is there nothing that you have to say
He meets my eyes again and my blood stills 
But there are plays of wills 
In the fray
And I know we’re going away
And I feel a grief I can’t explain
As though I’m standing in the rain
Begging him to just make a move
So there’s nothing that I have to prove
To anyone 
And the sun
Doesn’t shine out of him letting me go
Or the whirlpool I wrote about in the months after, so 
Does thirteen years mean anything to you
And if I send this will you
Remember 
The moments we felt timelessness engender
A place in the heart we shared
Because I know you cared
About me
And free
And all as I am
I still would understand 
If you wanted to make two
It’s not like I wouldn’t have wanted to
So I meet you in the ether
It’s not over for me either

Like A Millionaire

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I remember running my fingers through the city
And it was a pity 
You were not there
Because you would see how much I care
About the fire that burns 
Into being every time the world turns 
And the girls were all I knew 
When I would topple a little askew 
Out of the nearest club
And love
Was a foreign word
Til I met a beautiful bird
A phoenix rising from the ashes 
I hit the button and, man, it cashes
Out
And my self doubt
Falters as he looks me in the eyes
And I’m reborn as that which never dies
And I could say his name
But I’m sure he knows, all the same 
Just who he is
He is the boy I let live
As he circled my gravity
At a point of infinite density
But something draws him back to me 
Even after all these years 
And the snowflakes pouring tears 
As they melt in the sun
He is the one 
I knew better than my old coat 
He kept my hope afloat
When I picked him up in my car
And I drove us all to a bar 
Somewhere near Eddie Rockets 
And he empties his pockets 
Buying a drink for me
Made me think about eternity
And what we could be 
If I let him come close to my mystery
He throws his arm around my shoulder
And now that I’m older
I can appreciate
The fact that we didn’t date
But just revelled in the pure
That passed between us sure
Of it’s place in the atmosphere
An elliptical orbit that has found me
Circling back to where we were born 
And the glasses that I would have worn 
If I hadn’t given my gaze
To the boy I chose to save
At seventeen 
And I woke his dream 
Up mid nightmare
I didn’t mean to scare
You with my heavy handedness
It’s just you seem in distress
And I want you to know 
That the light never lets you go
And in the bask of this peace
I remind them I never cease
To be where I promised I am 
Loving Him is God’s plan