The canyon always called to me The vast open space a rhythm to be set free And I see people fall in the miles of my imagination As they stand on the edge of the station Taking selfies in the light And Marge says they’re just not right Because there is a death toll But somehow I found my soul Overlooking the vast red rock Spelling out all that I am not I couldn’t stop staring And there was all that preparing For what I’m facing into And I just thought of you And how your soul looked the same As the ocean I cannot name That pulses inside of me There was a part of me that was set free The moment you chose to come close And you look as white as a ghost And thin and on edge But I would like to be there instead Of the absence that you know And you have her and you Have me I didn’t mean to set you free I just couldn’t stay by the shore Hoping for something more To be revealed And then it stealed Into what I am You were never part of the plan But you’re a welcome adjunct And I feel like I’ve been on punkd! To think I could find a soul That matches the way that my waves roll I never thought I would discover The arms of such a lover
The shadow of death has followed me all my life And I know that I should be a wife By now But somehow The great explore Just opens every door Into the sea And it is all quintessentially me In every avenue And no matter what colour blue I seem to equate With what it’s like to be in this state I will always remain In a realm beyond the pain One where no loss can touch And the people I love so much Are with me in my heart and soul I just watch as the waves roll But the tide remains the sea So it is with you and me
There is a distance in time and space It takes you away from the Now But you have shown me somehow That there is no way you could be removed From where I am in tune With the stars and sea He is always with me Even though we haven’t spoken in ten years Even though I cried bitter tears Over our supposed separation And my education Only ever confirmed That there is always more to be learned When you try to ignite the fire And I do not tire Of my twin flame dreams Because nothing is as it seems When you water it down There’s something about this town That still sings to me And our history In separate schools Breaking all but the most pressing rules As we fight to be free I know you had your destiny To meet But would you greet Me at the door Because, darling, I always want more
There is the desperation of sighs As another Palestinian dies For want of love Because the world is too far above Itself to reach down And bring peace to a town When someone runs with a gun Something somehow clasps Their hands so that thing cannot last And yet we watch as the ICJ Won’t wish this genocide away And people say you’re anti Semetic If you don’t agree with the rhetoric That would condemn a people to evisceration Torture and brutality the equation That would erase them from this earth I don’t know if bombs are made to hurt Or just tear apart The human heart We must start A movement, a revolution To end apartheid that is brutal And unforgiving and unfair I know because I was there When I watched the flag fall Don’t hide them behind a brick wall And say it’s not your plight Because they’re relying on us, alright?
My time as a drifter And the time he wanted to shift her In Hillstreet in the dark And I lost a part Of myself when I agreed To the part of me that it freed In the lines in between It was the worst part of the dream I had just been set free from the blocks And I was all about breaking locks And seeing how far I could take it But I didn’t mean to wake it Up from where it lay And it is not okay That when the dragon breathes fire You blame me for the post that I conspire To burn in my flame I am not within my name I am barely brimming at the edges And I can see over the hedges As the man trims them with his machine And I am who I’ve always been But that seems to do me no good If I can only find salvation in the wood And when I’m on my own If I could’ve I would’ve known Twenty years ago But it took time for the life to show Through the facade of the veil And I set sail On a foreign sea To find the part of me That I lost in the melee Do you think you could just be a friend to me?
South Africa’s leading the charge And we are all floating on a barge Down the river Thames Watching it happen again And over one hundred and fifty years ago The Irish were starved to death so The British could maintain their economy The invisible hand and the maize crop they take away from me So how do I not feel Palestine As though the struggle was mine Babies screaming in the street As the winter steals the heat And Israel bombs the buildings Do they not care for the children Who will grow up with war wounds Or the ones who died too soon The mothers, fathers, family, friends Is this how the world ends Watching silently from the western front As a people bear the brunt Of what’s held in the unconscious And I don’t know what they want us To do in the movement in between When they convince the dream That it is reality But the lie is not getting the best of me
There is a black pool at the core of my being When it’s light it’s just a reflection you’re seeing Of the moon in the water And I have been a “good” daughter Always abiding by the rule Getting grades to fly by in school But I have grown up and in And I found myself in him When he set me free from the stricture And it was a mighty picture When he showed me his own shade of blue And I wanted to be one with you As you just were yourself And my mental health Is not up for debate But I’ve learned there’s something beyond the hate You can even hold for yourself There is a wealth In verdant green And it’s the best thing I’ve ever seen
The antecedent knows its own role And I lie in the expanse of my own soul As the bombs go off Or another person coughs As, I, awake in my bed Wonder what they would have said If they’d have known What was going down And I may visit the bay again Just don’t say when Because it is a futile ploy When I see my stars in a boy As he shines from afar He is my favourite star In the darkness of outer space I wonder if all these years have gone to waste Since I told him I love him And I would never hold myself above him But I feel like I was reduced For the receipts I couldn’t produce So I decided to write and write Even if it is sometimes shite Trying to get it on lock I don’t want to be something that I’m not But when I take a pill I swear I never will Be all I claim I am It’s like Kilglass winning Sam Impossible but still a dream Like me and the queen Inside my riverbed heart Blue and red from the start Do I use the pain to make art And the futility to show that the taking part Is the best part of the win I just hope I get to be with him Somehow, someday Anyway Thanks for listening Oh, look my teardrop’s glistening
The saint was born the day that I died Like Gandalf the Grey becoming the White And there was no absorbing light Only a peaceful flame That does not go by any name You could call it earthy awareness And I could guess What you mean by that But it gives you something it can’t take back And when the dream is rendered moot No one can play the flute Not with you, not anymore And they think I close the door But the reality is I am pulled away From the places I cannot stay There is distance in between Me and her and her and what they seem To be But free Does not mean foolish or prude I’m sorry if I appear a little rude But I’ve got to speak my mind When I don’t I do hard time At the institution they call St. Pat’s And there are welcome mats With my name written on They don’t realise I’m already gone As who I used to stand as And it’s nothing bad But it is unusual and unexpected And it’s not as thought I would have rejected Him without good reason His love is a season In the infinity of space time For a moment he was mine And then we were separated Like the schools where we were educated In to make good people of us With rulers and lines and teachers we could trust Some at least And I wonder if the last supper is a feast Like it’s portrayed And if Judas was dismayed To be singled out like that And I wonder what was he at To betray a saviour true Til I had it done to me too By a girl I used to know She cracked the whip so I let her go And I don’t know if time is fast or slow All I’ve realised is that it doesn’t exist though
There was that time I was at the bottom of the ocean The weight of the sky held all my emotion And it was burden to me Until the day I was set free Like some kind of ennui to fly But some part of me wanted to die It held me like a vicegrips I let go and something slips Into the abyss Is it that I miss The point of modern existence So much so that my reference is met with resistance To what it is And I will never be his Not now, not anymore Not since he closed that door The one I had opened to let him in But the grave is solemn as our sin As we barely make it through There were days I screamed at you And my family bled me dry For the crime of wanting to try To climb to the sky And sometimes I wonder why They condemned me to an education In their version of the situation Where I am the betrayer of the light The one they crack my knuckles with at night In tune with the rhythm Of their own great schism The one that pulls There is a pain that never dulls Not sharp and quick But one you live with and it’s a bitch Much more so than the submerge And I am on the verge Of letting go And opening to the place I can’t know The deep and vast spaciousness pure If only I could know for sure What it was Like I did before I learned their laws
I was fourteen and lost in the dream Til she rendered it everything it had never been And a lightning crack struck the stone To tell me I was never alone Not in my darkest day You know the one I wanted to make go away In the summer as I watched her die Slowly and I couldn’t cry Coz a tear might mean I would miss a moment With her and wouldn’t own it There was that morning I came and had breakfast with you Cornflakes with warm milk and you Put the heater on under my feet So that I might meet a warmer day Why did you have to go away I ask myself that all the time And almost twenty years line The road that took you from me Do you remember that day we Almost had a game of cards But someone came in and something hard I had to accept Was that I would have to regret The time we almost played rummy on the settee I know you were doing it for me And you ask for ice cream and jelly Just days before you die and my belly Still aches for your rhubarb tart The one you make like a work of art As you coat each piece in sugar and give some to me Say good things come to those who wait and my heart is set free From some imaginary chains It’s been nothing but torrential rains Since 2004 I keep thinking you’ll walk in the door Like that time up in UCD For a moment I could swear that we Are both in the same room Or the student union shop if I’m singing in tune But it passes almost as soon as it comes And I grasp again at when I was young And I was sitting on your knee I know you’ve been set free It’s just I know you’d never leave me So this Heaven you speak of has gotta be Nearer than close, than intimacy Could it be that you are One with me Like the Buddhists describe That you are really still alive Just in another dimension And the veil fell without mention Of the aforementioned fact The ones you’ve lost you can get back If you just trust the bough to break God puts you there for your own sake
The embodiment of the prose That happens at the intersection of less travelled roads Where you meet two parallel paths And think of how God might have wrath For you and entice You into a darkness that isn’t nice Because if you look in the biblical frame You’re talking to someone who has no name And you can call him Yahweh or Yeshua I just know that I wouldn’t mess with ya Not on any given Sunday But trouble doesn’t come on a Monday It was some idle Tuesday blue That took me from you And I was just walking back From the place where I lack Everything that ever was Do I lose you because I didn’t pray for peace Is there a reason why people decease Before their time Which is always now if you ask the rhyme In the indulgent hues Now I just pay my dues As they fall onto my desk Trust and have faith and forsake the rest As it eyes up my piece of bread But it’s all madness in my head As I hear a million voices Asking me if they have choices In why they are condemned to A kind of hell I’m party to And if I’m the only one who nears Then do I run away when danger nears Or do I open the gap And shed light on the torn map That says beyond this point You must not go because the anoint Have adorned it a place for sinners And all the winners That you have ever known Have only ever grown Through the pain of embracing the shadow I often wonder if I am bad, though
They can’t bring me down Not with their hospital gown You know the one that I wear When the fabric tear On my suit And I must be the proof Of what I want to hear Must I hold dear The days in subterfuge When everything’s the colour rouge On the page The shade of rage That pulls apart the sun And you know the one Is made to beat a heart Tearing all the stars apart In the firmament where they lie I am not afraid to die But to be caught In a place where my spirit’s bought By all and sundry And it’s quite the quandary To be lilt bound around the halls Of a place that is all walls In brick and stone I hear the ancients scream “leave me alone” As behind the barrier some horrors are contained I feel it in the pain That emanate From the people in that state And there are souls that walk the corridor Down to the art room on the first floor And there’s no way to say That it isn’t me, okay Because when I speak of vision They meet me with derision And false grandiosity It must be my animosity Reaching out to take a bite Of my own kryptonite Does that mean I’m Clark Kent Or the space where the hero went
The one good thing about hell Was that Stephen wished me well And could see the light underneath The ghost with the sheet Around her head (You know the one I got from the bed) In the place with no name Because the memory brings shame Upon my family So I’m not allowed to mention it, we Did it, it was a collective decision And I risk their derision If I reveal That I feel Just fine About my time In St. Pat’s mental institution It was some kind of a convolution In my degree Why does life have me down on one knee Proposing to a saint In the colour of blood that I paint As it runs down the frame Of the place that brought me pain
I fake ambivalence on the way to the hospital And they put me in a cage So the only way I could rage Was on a page Listing all their faults As they keep me in a selection of vaults But like a Taylor track I’m only better when I come back And I boomerang that shit Do you know who you’re dealing with When you spider web the dream It’s split like a seam Along the line of someone else’s thread And you could say I’ve made my bed But I sleep soundly So what about me? You gonna write that prose Now that you have given up the road That lead you here And you have only death facing you, dear I see it in your eyes And even the man behind the concrete cries Silver grey in every way, you plug the drain Then think you know about the rain But it only ever runs away And everything that I say Washes over you into a puddle You can say I am in a muddle But it’s you that seems So lost in dreams That you don’t know the way to be In touch with reality
Creating my own version of hell Just to wish you well And appease the masses Coz the girl’s got classes That she takes on being herself And you could say that her wealth Hinges on being all that she is not And if you try to help a lot It will backfire Because she tire Of female dreams When you pull the fabric at the seams And enter into a plausible affair With someone that isn’t even there And her sister bites And ignites Passion she doesn’t know how to wear As she complains it isn’t fair And resigns herself to a fate She’s not even allowed to hate Coz that could constitute a sin A conflagration that’s within But I burn With every axis turn And understand how the devil might feel To be told that nothing is real And his existence is naught But a way to keep people caught God is everything He’s in every broken wing And in every fallen star There’s no way to escape what you are Even if you turn away The Truth will have the final say
Did you think I would wait for you There’s not a chance in hell As if you give me permission to be myself Only under your sun that the cards I’ve been dealt Could align with mystical forces But you’re all about the divorces That could happen if you’re not a really nice guy Because you’re afraid to die And the woman you love is fearless and true But she is no match for you When you put those glasses on I saw it and so I was gone In a heartbeat and I’d skip town again If I’d catch that frown on men Because I know what it means And it may be the stuff of dreams But I’m no puff pastry to wear And I don’t need you to care About me And free Is fine But there was a moment you were mine And we shared a soul But you break the begging bowl As you hold it out to me Cut my hands on glass that trusted for free And I thought you had changed So I let the atoms rearrange And came back to your door Only for you to say you don’t want me anymore Well let me make it simple for you It’s goodbye like you wanted it to
I don’t know who I am anymore Someone somewhere shut that door And I’m lying on the floor Thinking about identity And if it could encapsulate me In a tight little bundle But I just roll the trundle Wheel down the path And think about the God of wrath I was shown by a teacher in school She read the Bible and it wasn’t cool It was so dark and dense And nothing was in the present tense It was all recrimination And I couldn’t see that the station She stood at was pulling in to train Us all to repeat again What we’d learned And if we didn’t we’d be burned I shook with the terror But something told me it was an error Because we couldn’t be sinners at ten But she threw suspicion on us over again As though our childish might Could be lit by the devil’s light In seeking to avoid the dark But the word just means to miss the mark And maybe it’s not understood That the heart of the human endeavour is good If Jesus taught me anything It’s that there’s an angel’s wing Looking out for all of us And that it’s okay to trust In the best of what we are I look for the star You were born under And the sound of thunder Rumbles in a scene If this is all a dream Why does it feel So real In the dark and in the day Am I gonna be okay? Or am I already alright Is my soul the light in the night To remind me that the consciousness Is the way that we undress The skin We are standing in For a season or two You fanned the flame but I still love you
The commensurate struggle under foreign rule And we learn about it in school Like it is part of history But there is so much that does not sit well with me Because I looked to the North of Ireland and could see Blood on the streets as a child of 1990 And yet somehow there was an agreement that stemmed the tide The flow of blood was silent outside Though it still simmers underground And I’m attuned to that sound As I hope it will rise only to be let go of In place of a deeper kind of love Now, bombs drop in the Middle East And I wonder if our peace Could be translated If the powerful could be educated In what it means To break nightmares into dreams For there are tens of thousands of children die Since the birth of the realm that made them cry And I cannot stay silent and roll Like this is all there is in my soul Like I don’t have the blood of my ancestors proud Who would say that the innocent and the loud Should stand on equal footing And I know where they are putting The blame and why But no one deserves to die Before their time And is a war crime Only recognised in hindsight They starved us too From 1845 to ‘52 A million died And mothers cried Others emigrated Now I’m listening to things the politicians stated As they barricade and siege With a terror you would not believe Leaving the people to disease And hunger and thirst I can only imagine the worse As I hear the stories out of the Strip And soldiers as they equip Themselves with weapons of war Because they think they know what it’s for But when you look in their eyes do you see spirit And when a bomb drops and a child screams do you hear it In the midnight of everyday Is it that you want a people to go away And we were the Irish problem But somehow we were able to resolve them And for now, at least A tenuous peace Holds in the dismantling Of the broken wing At the heart of the tale Of how we are not up for sale And the people of the land Understand What it means to be driven home In a car all alone Thinking of a fellow kin And what they are doing to them Under the guise of justification Saying we need an education In the politics of the Middle East Well I do and it’s the least Thing I need to know it’s wrong When the materially strong Use their force to betray Everything in them that would say This is just not right What’s it like to be awake in Gaza tonight?
The winter I knew Was as empty as the foggy morning dew And they turned the key On the lock that trapped me In the morning breathing cold air It was as though there was no one there Who would ever care Though they say they do They do their best to threaten you With what they think will make you move Like there is some point they want to prove To be a functional adult And a “grown woman” is a cult That only the brainwashed agree Is part of what it means to be free And you could call me non binary But it’s really not true It’s just androgyny coming through As I seek to find A reason not to go out of my mind Sitting in this space with you As you pour animosity through The fill of the glass It’s all about what you get in class When the story’s over Did you trample a four leafed clover In your attempt to reach the finish line And will you only realise when your time Here on earth is done Coz, honey, you are the One
I infuriate myself Because of the cards that I’ve dealt And the calamity I can’t admit to That I have been careless with all of you Just because I know That the letting go Won’t hold on I told him I loved him and then I was gone Because I don’t want to make good On our time in the wood All alone I sink after I hang up the phone Onto the wooden floor And there may be twenty score Women who would’ve done it differently But that’s just how the cookie crumbles He struggles with a button and fumbles And we laugh at the good of the moment And in style we hold it For all these years And there have been my share of tears But I wouldn’t take it back You’re one thing I’ll never lack Because you’re held in my soul And for me you’ll never grow old But even if you did I couldn’t repay the way I hid From your eyes And the lies Were your reaction to my subterfuge And the deluge Came to wash our cars away Because the road cannot stay When you pave it for journey Now there’s children lying on a gurney Somewhere in the Gaza Strip And the military the men equip To make war on the innocent skin Could I change it with Him If he would bargain a chip Let me be the one to trip On the banana peel Because none of this is real And there should be someone in black So that people know that there’s something we lack In the fizz and boom of our modern rush Don’t we all crave that silent touch Of true care I want to say I love you because I am there Even now, miles away I touch you with the power to pray
I look at the photograph and think of the people I’ve lost And wonder why life has to pay the cost Of being born The painting’s rendered and then it’s torn In two, down the middle And I spent some time in Spiddel When I was thirteen years old It was before the gold Broke into fourteen After I’d lost my grandmother to the scene And I’d pattern the stars on the wall Making constellations of them all I was not alone And I’m almost crying on the phone As I ring home Fast forward a couple of weeks I’m sad coz we’ll never speak To those girls again And I could call each one friend As I sleep on the top bunk And there was a moment my heart sunk For the shame of what I did I’m always inconsiderate to the point of flipping the lid Before I screw it on I loved a boy then I was gone And we are nevermore Why does God give me people to adore Then take them away again I wish I could say I was on the mend But I have no will to be I just want to be set free From the illusion Of my own confusion Held in colours I create It’s a disease I can’t inoculate
I can feel the verge of the Unknown Come to clip the wings that I have flown And I wonder why desire Would long to set the world on fire If it would burn its own house down And he acts the clown But I can see the depths In the aura of his regrets And it is stultifying prose As I walk the roads Like a woman with a purpose And the circus Never fails to make me laugh Because God does not do things by half And when he invented maya I realise why he loves a tryer Coz like Albert Einstein says Insanity is doing the same thing in different ways And expecting a result to arises But there is a horizon In your eyes When you look into mine And I wonder would you do hard time Just to know the freedom I speak of And I was just brave enough to call it love When you still hid in the shadow of the hall And a brick wall Always faced me then But I would do it over again If I had the chance As I shyly ask you to dance With me We would be A beautiful pair If we both had been there
I’m spiritual but religiously so There are few places I will not go In my quest to explore And there’s always something more To know But does it show In my eyes, are there creases And when this body deceases What will happen to my spirit And will the people I love hear it As I cross the bridge to the other side And no one dies because life is alive Whether in form or not And you can hear the shot That rang out at the inception Of the resurrection Of the Christ We’re told that it happens twice Once to him and once in you As he returns through The form you know as your own They call it Consciousness but I prefer the Unknown As it rises to obscure my seeing And it is very freeing As all the chains just recoil Like steam on a pot to boil Or a kettle that is singing out The song that escapes its mouth When it is ready to click And the pan is non stick When you flip the dough I just let it go
I startle a shot And all I am not Starts to beat up against the windowpane Did I do this all in vain Did I stand up to be counted Against all that has amounted To nothing in the wind And to have sinned Is the mantra of the day I look at Hozier and he looks away Or he would if he could see me stare But I was there When the boy spoke those words to me And if I could’ve I would’ve set him free To run and play But he held on and, okay I must admit I was defeated Because the song of my heart had retreated Into itself And mental health Is the order of the day As they order me to go away And just lie still Like the wars they wage never will Fall silent like the sounds of guns When they realise you are the one Who will make the difference to the child Who thinks he is alone in the wild And I’m looking at screens At Gaza and broken dreams And it seems like there’s nothing I can do But powerlessness is a choice too And somehow I reach out to someone And let them know there is a sun Behind all the smoke That starts to choke The young in the fog And the fire log Is not enough to keep me warm When others must endure the storm Of always being in the wrong place at the wrong time And they talk about a war crime But how about just stop Being the evil that you’re not Not in your core This is not for humanity anymore There is an open door And the light is pouring through Does anyone feel it enough to say “I’m with you”?
The hero’s story lies unheard Like the flight path goes untraced by the bird As she arcs through the sky And she is not afraid to die A death on the scene And the serene Pulses with air And the energy of the Universe there They wouldn’t believe me So they just grieve me As battlestar galatica’s reign in the tide And I learn to abide In the misinformation I wonder who she’s dating It’s the modern fixation And if he’s a bad guy You better expect they’ll find a reason why And explain it to you Because you have hearts that they want to Corrupt and be seen To be caught in the dream In a web of lies And everybody tries To break out But their self doubt Arms the chains And the rains Are no match for the sky Because open space is not afraid to die Into itself I woke up with a shock and the rest start to melt
The Great Revelation is that it’s smoke and mirrors And the buttons she presses throw me in the horrors As she speak about how she see And it is so different from me As I paint a landscape She wants to escape Into the green But she’s always been Lost in the grey And when I say Maybe it’s not okay She’d hit me with the butt of her rifle And say it’s not time to stifle The truth of the matter And then she would batter Me with her facts And you can’t take it back Any more than the sky Can take back the tear it cries from it’s eye In a season or two The duplicity came from you Into the serene And life is better when you wake the dream Up from where it stands And there are lands That lie untraversed And no one would expect your manners to be rehearsed But they are And every star That burns Is light years away And though light is born it cannot stay And must collapse into a black hole I wonder if that’s what happens to the soul When it meets it’s end And the colourless light is the only friend I have these days There are so many ways To splinter the prose And take less travelled roads I never thought that I’d be Twenty years on still wondering about destiny Amid the runes And the sand dunes As it filters through air I know the feel of it because I was there
I have this fear inside me, do I focus on it And does it just make me act like a twit I find myself in St. Pat’s, ground floor And everyone shines, my God, mo stór As I’m lying in bed in Dean Swift at night And he’s illuminated by the bathroom light He says it’s very bright But I could look at him and sight Is no burden But how would I word them This prose that sits inside And I only ever hide The best of me And the rest of me Lies in wait All the guys I’d love to date But my heart won’t let me Soul won’t forget me And lead me down a merry path One I might never find my way back From And it’s gone That sudden sharp Like Cleopatra playing the harp It’s an illusion And the confusion Was I trusted words Instead of the flight path of birds As they streak across the sky And I am not afraid to die But say that to a psy Chiatrist And you may get the gist Of what I relay I eventually learned not to say What was on my mind Because it leaves me behind Like an autumn tree And everything is fluttering from me As I’m out in the grass With Mary Jean, I never had to ask Her to teach me how to knit She wove the wool deftly as I sit And she came to my door With something she’d baked on the first floor And we ate it with my sister God knows, I missed her When I was locked away And I don’t care what people say Those places don’t help They just teach you how to stand on a shelf All pretty in pink And I used to think It was for a reason Now I see it was just a season I was passing through Growing wings and flying too Beyond the veil And what’s not up for sale Will always be bought By those who think they have caught The value in it And I didn’t win it But let it go There’s joy in defeat too, you know
Getting older And I just grow bolder And into my own skin It was reflected in him And I thought that we Could be outside of history In a land beyond time And I wanted to call him mine Somewhere quiet and beyond the suffer Now I watch him love her And I wish them well But it is a kind of hell To keep myself away from him Because there’s a pact between women And what if he was to leave her for me If I reveal the mystery That surrounds my presence And the essence Of what we are Is born from a distant star Is there a way to be a friend to you Because I want you in my life too I shut you out Because the doubt That was cast upon me Just had to be gone me And I wanted a secret space With you so I could see your face And read the lines That arc over you a thousand times Like holy comets Are you still on it Like a diamond mine I would have told you I was fine If you’d have asked But your compassion’s masked By your fear I just want you to know I still love you, dear
I broke the clasp Because she didn’t ask Me to be who I am She had another plan So I pulled the plug Now I am on their favourite drug As I struggle to find The part of me I left behind When I left her for dust Amid the tyre tracks and broken trust And it was hell In the days she didn’t wish me well The tide, it turned And something burned Inside me But some how the light it find me And now I’m looking back On the attack And it seems different somehow Because I allow Her to walk all over me But, eventually, I let her go free To find her own direction Though I didn’t expect the insurrection To arise And everybody dies But sometimes something rise To meet the pain And I would do it again If I had to But I wanted you To realise That there are blue skies In your darkest foe I didn’t hate you, I just let you go To find your own path And you may believe in God’s wrath But I could never find That space inside the mind I had to believe in truth And live the passion of my youth Do I equivocate And stand in my place Like a good child Did you not love me wild And free as a bird What is it that you heard When I spoke to you I hope life has been kind to you But if it hasn’t Know that there’s a space that maddens Even those with an even keel You are not what you feel
I went on a search but I never found it Now all I can do is ground it As it pours light in through my crown I thought that I would drown In the darkness but it was light It lifts me up and I am alright As I, unsteady on my feet, As a foal I’ve yet to meet Struggle to regain the ground I’ve lost to the realm of sound As it pelts my windows I never let it in though Until that man came with his soul Held out like a begging bowl And it just undo Everything I was assuming of you And somehow we’re in! But does it pertain to Him Coz that will be evidence of it’s constancy And in my revelry I missed the quiet comfort of your hoodie And I’m just wondering would we If we got the chance You ask me to dance And I say yes I take the hand you hold out, I guess And we move to the beat And the heat That your body is throwing Has me knowing That this is something you’ve desired Ever since I set it all on fire No need to worry, dear The glass is crystal clear
The apparent solidity of matter is an illusion And there seems to be some confusion Over what it means When sages says that its just one of those dreams That seems to linger And the finger Pointing to the moon Cannot come to soon But do not mistake It for a freedom you cannot fake You know when you’ve been deceived It happens when there’s something you believed Rather than known And the flowers grown And in full bloom Can fragrance a room So it is with you I’m telling you coz you want me to Deep in your heart There is something no one can tear apart Not with knives and scissors Not with hacksaws and chisels It lives in a domain Beyond the realm of pain And the Bible speaks of the Valley In the Shadow of Death and any One who disputes That it encroaches on the resolute Must be wrong Because when I was strong I felt it multiply I was so afraid to die But when the midnight came I was simply not the same And surrendered the ghost To the Light I love the most It is my Jesus true And He asked me to share Him with you
Am I clicking the button again You know, the one when I asked you to be my friend And I know that all things end But something endures As the water pures The silt and the sand And your hand Is still in mine After all these years of time And I know that you’re with her It doesn’t erase what we were And somewhere in this heart I own There are birds that have flown To your side And you’re still alive In spite of attempts to the contrary And I used to pray to Mary To save my grandfather from death But it hasn’t worked yet Except to take his soul to the highest light So I probably should forgive her, right? And I spilled my heart to you But it didn’t go the way I wanted it to Or that I thought it would And you are good Better than most But you still sound as though you’ve just seen a ghost The ghost of me Come to haunt all that we never got to be
Telling a story, like I’m just a seanchaí I wonder what the world will think of me When I reveal That I am more than what I feel And the imperative consciousness Finds a way to address All that I’ve been needing to know I held on to something but it let me go Long ago And the persecutor Was no interlocutor To spindle me on threads But I’m lying in bed And wondering why I Feel as if I’m going to die And the darkness around me holds weight But there is no hate On my side Only a desire to stay alive And she’s breaking brittle bones With stones That she throws I look outside and it snows In the middle of winter The hinterland Is green but hidden And the pain came unbidden It rose like the middle of the night To wake me and ask me if I was alright But I’m not Or have you forgot What I said to you I trusted and the thing fell through
To be Irish and free Is this a part of our history That we could call a break with the past Coz it’s been nigh on 1000 years since the last Time empire didn’t darken our door And I couldn’t wish for anything more Than the heart that beats in my chest For the rest Of the world that still labours under The sound of that thunder As it quakes ground With artillery or the sound Of the machinery of the day Because they want to take away All that we have come to know But Love does not let us go In spite of all the trouble And it is no bubble That we just fell into It is the heritage we were born to Embody And already I can see the dawn When the tendrils have withdrawn From their occupation of lands And the dust and the sands Yield no harvest But I divest Myself of the poverty And say all beings should be free Of the mighty weight of bowing down And the water will not drown It will only nourish and refill What the darkness tried to kill And it’s not a personal sin It is just a deviation from Him And the persecution dies As the whole world tries To shift the narrative And it is imperative That we do not tolerate What we’ve come to know as hate As it darkens the door That has come to shatter on the floor But the light just pours through And it’s from within me and you There is no us and them There’s just a mistake we can’t make again
The darkness that ensued And all I could do was brood Over the way things had come to be Confinement was the only mystery I could bear to hold So I ran from the fields of gold To the chains in the city And it was more self pity Than it was bravery I couldn’t face the truth And the pillars of my youth Are falling around me Now I have no grandfather to ground me So I just grasp at empty air Because you are no longer there To catch me when I fall And see me play football Down at the pitch Making a switch With Linda on the field But the wind blows and I yield To it and let you go It was harder than you know To relax my grasp On the part of me that was born to last And I couldn’t cry tears Despite the years We spent together And the weather Turned suddenly snow And somehow I just know That it’s time And my crime Is that I couldn’t bear to face This aspect of the human race That we must say goodbye To the people we love as they die And I’m hearing voices The people in Pat’s say it’s just noises But I sense that I can hear More than just the ones I hold dear From the other side I think they are still alive In some other realm And at the helm Is a spirit greater than we can understand He is not ruled over by man But free to birth into the world of form And just because my body’s warm Doesn’t mean that I’m separate From the ones my heart equate With eternal love And if I no longer have to look above But within to find you there Would you know that I still care?
Are our memories so short that we could call this history And the mystery Of the Emerald Isle Is how we survived the trial Of invasion And the abrasion Still shows in galactic consciousness As we struggle to address The appropriate evil to compensate For why we were in that state It seemed like there was nothing we could do Except rebel, rebel But it was a kind of hell As they starved the land of its people And we replaced futility with a steeple And prayed to a God we knew not of Because only Divine Love Could be our salvation As we were collateral damage for a nation Who’s only goal was empire And I wonder they never tire Of the chains they induce And they seduce The whole world with their lies And now it tries To deceive again Because in the realm of men Killing and war are necessary But children are not an accessory To the damage you do Yes, I am talking to you You equivocate And evaluate What you do by some measure But your treasure Is not to be found in the blood of the young Or a people to succumb To what you want to achieve I know you believe In what you say But I see another way To mend the broken wall Try letting the damn thing fall
He has the courage to speak And it makes me weak To see a man in the stars Behind prison bars That are self explanatory And this is a war so planetary As it drags the dust and the water Upon every son and every daughter Of Palestine That the shame should be mine For losing this on my watch I just stare at the clock Every morning and hope that he Has weathered the storm that we Are safe from here in Éire It’s not fair That you should have to suffer And you may love Her But you shouldn’t have to entertain This kind of rain In this season And there is no reason This is happening but that Some people did something they can’t take back And the wrath Ensues What the god of men does when it cannot pay its dues It says what it does not know And it holds on when it should’ve let go Long ago And I just sit and stare And pray that you’re still there Behind a screen Here’s to you and the scream That pierces the night I guess there is no good fight
Was it just a twin flame dream That a man could mean What he says when he says it to you And that he’s not just out to Wrap the chains of control Around your soul Like vines that entrap When he tries to map Your mysteries And histories Are replete with this story So don’t implore me To just give in I will never be with him As long as he holds the casing He is intent on facing With the full of his sight And I say “It’s alright” Because it is for a moment or two But if you’re not willing to Give it up for love Then all of the above Has been rendered obsolete I’m not falling at your feet Just so that my hair Might wipe away your every care And render you the king But a king wouldn’t throw away everything For a cheap night in the stars Behind steel bars That he calls a safe space But the human race Was not made for prison tomes So I leave him all alone As he tries to encapsulate Everything in a spate Of cold weather that freezes blood I didn’t think you were great, I thought you were good
He wants me so fuckin bad But he is still one of the lads And he talks trash behind my back It’s a form of attack As he holds his weight behind the line In case I might suspect the diamond mine Was harvested with blood on hands And he is the inheritor of lands But he will never own me, my dear Let me make this crystal clear I’m not going down that route And you may play the flute To deflect And then the dream is wrecked But the man protest “I am not like that” Then why say something you can’t take back To me on the phone I say, leave me alone And just go be with your girl Let go of your hold on the world Coz it will never be yours And there’s nothing the water pures When it flows free It is the essence of me It is bound for the sea Not a dam in the river And I’m sure your could forgive her If you really knew what she was saying to you But I don’t have the time to go explaining to Someone who doesn’t want to see What he means to me In the forest of desire But now we’re in LA and it’s on fire From some lightning strike And I don’t care what you like When it comes to a woman Is it just that she keeps you coming Down the hall And a brick wall Only reflect The dark heart that I suspect To be at the core of you I would have loved you if you’d wanted me to
He thinks he has something to give to me But I’ve been set free And your cocaine soul Is not enough to intoxicate and roll Me up like a cigarette At least, it hasn’t yet And you show your cards to the deck But you don’t see the summer that you wreck When you try to tear me down And rip shreds into my beautiful gown The one I wore to the dance And I’m all about a second chance But forget about a third Because I am a bird And I’ll fly away from here I won’t be tethered to you, dear Not in any of your dreams You can burst all of the seams And it still won’t be enough to take The part of me that I will not forsake You say you’ve been misunderstood And all you’ve ever meant was the good That human beings aspire to But I was there when you Pulled the switch on the phone Called me a bitch and left me alone To face the dragons that breathe Down my neck and seethe With the fumbling weight of time And I never did call you mine Because you always moved from the casing So now I’m intent on erasing All that you were to me Is it enough if I set you free?
They tell us to co-opt And be something we are not Coz I am soft and I am supple And I dream of being part of a couple And they say that white feminism is not intersectional And it is too one directional And I have to agree Because it has never been me But there are parts of it I would pluck Because I still give a fuck About independence and freedom But I would never cede them To another hand And they say to let it go is grand But I stand on my high horse And do so with no remorse Because the beating heart Is something that will always start Within my own And it is not something that I could disown And I imagine myself being taken In the moment love is forsaken And being heavy with child And losing all my wild That blows with me in the wind And the people say it’s the woman who’s sinned When a man commits adultery That you should never let them see your sultry Gaze And there’s cities that they’d raze Because they haven’t met The part of themselves they can’t forget Buried deep within the grass Hidden in a childhood that is part of the past And lost innocence will do that Far more dangerous than an old spinster and her cats But society would have you believe That this burden must be relieved Into the female prone And I just stare at my phone Because I loved him true How could he do this to you? In the name of a just defence I can’t contemplate what it meant Anymore And every open door Was slammed shut in his face Because he is a living disgrace
He bullied me into letting go And I fell into the snow And it was icy cold Can I be brave, can I be bold? And just speak my own truth Reflected through the prism of youth That is growing long But still I believe that strong Comes with age If you do not allow it to turn the page On the fiercest of you If my heart means anything too It will continue to burn a hole Through the veil that hides the soul From the masses And the classes That I aced Were nothing to the glory of his face When it was revealed to me He tried to steal into what it means to me But it cannot be undone Once you’ve seen the sun You cannot unmake it And I would never forsake it Not for a pretty boy That uses females like a toy To play with in the day But in the night it goes away And he is mired in loss and pain And learns to live with the rain That pummels the skin I told him that if he let me in I could make it better And the weather Would pass But our moment didn’t last As he sold me out for someone else And claimed that mental health Is more important than truth My God, life can be such a brute But it will reveal itself to you If you let the web fall through Into the long lost water I am no wife, I am no daughter I am no female set free I am what I’ll always be
The weather brushes aside And I am alive Still, in spite of all the years And the tears Only served to make me stronger But I don’t entertain them any longer And I lost someone who means the most to me But I’ve been consoled he’s been set free Unto the Great Expanse Where all the spirits go to dance When their day is done In the realm beneath the sun We call Earth And the hurt Fails and falls apart Under the power of the heart And he’s always throwing slurs Because he’s afraid of what we were In the old domain And he’s had his share of pain And he takes it out on us The female is no longer a plus One And undone Is the male sovereignty That tries to lay claim to the best of me In the winter months And all of the stunts That they pull Can’t destroy the cotton wool Of being pure It’s the one thing I know for sure
Group think And I feel the power begin to sink Under the waves Look what love gave Us to hold And you can’t tarnish pure gold But I feel the flagellate As I look at others in that state Building a bomb That will explode in the sun And they’re just kids And we’re all His Even the ones with whom we disagree Even the man who’s not down on one knee Professing to you He’s undressing to you But that’s not what you want And the village starts to haunt Every alley I’ve ever walked And you could say that we’ve talked About the summer wine And are doing fine But it’s not that way And sometimes there are no words left to say As I watch it all pull asunder And he has my number But I let the phone go dead Now I’m just rolling in my bed Trying to make it real But there’s nothing that I feel That ever comes close to you Did I see an enemy in you too?
The attempt to bridge the gap Cannot be found on any map And he sings of treasure troves But his heart, it roves And cannot settle on any one thing So he won’t give a girl a ring But he’s solid stone when it comes to worth And I know the feeling hurt From the break in his voice He wouldn’t be doing this if he had a choice But I see the midnight in his eyes The recognition that everybody dies In the summer of his life Now he can’t take a wife Coz she is just flesh and blood And doesn’t really house the good He’s been searching for And there’s a golden door That something’s behind And I was out of my mind With ardent love and lost belonging And he has me doing no wronging And I can’t put my finger on The thing that’s gone I’ve been looking for it since eleven I thought I lost it at the age of seven But what if it’s held in the Now And if I allow What is to be I could be free
What is freedom? Does it start with a war? And when it’s over Do you know what it’s for? Because I’m watching all these children bleeding And I want to give them what they’ve been needing Peace in a world gone mad And I don’t think that the leaders are bad Just misled They lead with a rifle instead Of the hearts they have betrayed And I am dismayed As it happens under my watch And I’m staring at the clock Hoping for a ceasefire to break As they blow things up for their own sake And I fight the wind For my sins Like Byron Katie says There are many ways To the top of the mountain But their tears are a fountain And I cannot pretend I don’t feel the rain As it pours over me over and over again Writing what will be I just pray that we all see What we are doing when we ignore Our own fall away floor That drops the bottom out of what we thought we knew If it happened to me, it could happen to you In waves and in the ocean Women are not all emotion We are feeling beings And I am the seeing
The antelope run like gazelles And it was the birth of hell When I saw Mufasa die Was that the origin of the tear that cry With my eye Or is it evidence of Irish mourning In the din that I’m forlorning To be wonder held And all the shapes meld Into one As I am undone In 2011 By the sound of heaven But it doesn’t last And now it is just part of my past I set sail In a current that cannot fail Not now that I have the wind at my back The man I love I attack For daring to make me trust In something that I know will rust At the first rain And I say “never again” But he knocks at my door And I can’t keep him out anymore So I just let him in And he flashes that grin At me and we Are all one and sundry again And he is the best of men When he was just a boy He broke his golden toy And has searched ever since For a lie that might evince The pain that he feels And film reels Are no substitute For what he cannot play, now it is mute The cellophane wrapper he called home I watch him all alone In her arms And visualise us on our farms Raising a brood And there is no other dude That could tempt Me to preempt Fate once more I get up off the chair and answer the door
The thread unwinds And are we all just out of our minds Running blind Into the wind And the boy grinned At me like it was all okay And somehow it was with him that day Will I find my way back to see The moment of eternity That held itself out in his eyes Deep blue opals that disguise The soul that’s looking through I would love to be with you In any kind of way No broken heart to mend today Just ashen earth clay pots And calling the kettle what I’m not In the morning The sea was storming Until that deathly calm It should have rang some kind of alarm But it didn’t, I just gazed Into a man I would have saved If I had known how Now I just allow You to breach the barrier And I know you wear the weather with her I can see it through the grain As it’s all coming down as rain In a January morning In the winter of 2013 And the dream Is less like shattered glass And more like Gandalf and “You Shall Not Pass” But the goblins from the grave Seem to haunt all of my days In so many ways As I look into the sky And wonder when you too will die
I was too soon to know What I had let go When I was young And the bell rung To signal class had begun And it was all systems go Business as usual so Ms. Earley came into the class How was I to know that day would break the cast That had solidified around me And it beckoned to ground me Into the earth it knew And I was far away from loving you That day But somehow, nothing would get in my way And the ground fell apart as I crumbled The ball was thrown and I fumbled The past How was I to know that day would last And I felt the dark encroach Around the subject that we broach Perched on the edge of a prayer It was the last moment “I” was there As I began to sway and lose consciousness It was as though I undress In front of everyone And the sun That was about to shine Was to say it had always been mine In the subterfuge And I thought that no dude Could ever move me from that place But that was until I saw his face Masked in subtle tones Now we’re staring at each other through our phones As we don’t talk But we walk Every bloody mile of ground Until we hear the sound Of forever in a glance Would you just shut up and dance With me And let my love set you free You know it can I knew it when you took my hand And showed me a handshake that people forget But I haven’t yet Like I swore I would Make good On ever word I uttered Is your bread buttered On both sides Because I am still alive In your heart and soul So put away your begging bowl And look within Lightning struck a second time with him
The Poetry Book 