Tag: youth

The Bitterness

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The bitterness eats me up 
And they’ve told me it’s just unwanted love
That festers and burns
As the axis turns 
For other seasons 
And there are reasons
Why people will turn your life upside down
I walked Bláthnaid home to her side of town
When she’d had one too many
And there wasn’t any
Way I would let her go that way alone
It was before the age of iPhone
When we would text for 13 cent 
And each one counted because every one meant
Someone had thought of you
And thought to spend time and money to
Talk it through
And there was Smirnoff Ice and blue WKD
I liked the taste but the vibe wasn’t for me
But those girls were ancient, those girls wee old
Those girls were a story that’s never been told 
Sitting in my soul 
As we talk our way into Blazers
And make unsteady use of razors 
For the first time 
It was sublime 
But there were those who used the blades
To do a tad more than shave
And it was just the status quo
You’d hear the whispers and you’d know 
What others went through
There was a friend I loved who did it too
And she was like the thread that tied
A smile to the boat on the ship that lied 
And failed to float
So I quote 
Ralph Waldo Emerson for the win
And other inspiration 
Would just come to pass
But these years have taken more class
Than I knew how to own 
It’s like the game was thrown
The moment my saviour walked in the door
And what’s more 
It was a perfect prose
The best thing about the less travelled road
Is that it’s not really a choice
It is about using your voice
Then your feet just walk
Otherwise you are all talk
In the tea
I’d have a sup of that with you if you’re free

Powerlessness

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Powerlessness
You’re gone, you’re gone
And I didn’t even get to say so long
With your spiky hair
And the way you have of always being there
Are you Spirit now, do you wander through walls
Touching hearts, leave us all enthralled 
With your vagabond
And I abscond 
To elope 
Coz it’s at least a way that I can cope
With the gaping hole, the void, the void 
You were never just one of the boys
And no one has the answer
Life is the movement and you’re just the dancer
On the stage of life
I wonder if I would’ve been your wife
In the years that passed
I thought about it but I never asked 
You to my grad
Now I sit alone and I feel bad
For what we never got to be
And she
Crushes me with a glance
Another spiral, another lance
On the boil of truth
Oh, what is youth
But the sudden celebration and the demise
But it disappears when I look in your eyes
And all I can see is the expanse
I watched you and Linda dance
And felt a pang of jealousy 
Or something akin to it because we
Have a moment by the bar
And that star
Still shines for you
I survive because you want me to

The Irish Male At Seventeen

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The Irish male at seventeen
What a wonder fucking dream
And he drew me in then pushed me back
As though there’s nothing that we lack
In our two by two, absolute four
And I don’t know who I am anymore
As I leave unlocked and off the hinge door
There’s no one close by what I have in store 
For you, for us, for him, for she
Could you just get down on one knee
So I could let you in again
Instead of running away from men
Coz they always want and need, lookout!
So much so that I am in doubt
As to what we’ve forever been 
Now I just see you on a screen
Talking to that other girl
I wish the paper would just unfurl
And unmap the story of us
Something in which I can trust
And I don’t care about all of the guys
On the sidelines to my futile tries
To win you over, once more, again
Don’t blame me for being your friend
As you throw around what people love
I’m sorry I ever gave you that drug
The one with the hit so high
And I’m just the queen of saying goodbye
Until the day you made me say
I really like you, okay?
And when I wrapped my arms around ya
I knew that you were sound, yeah
With your gentle and sashay
When did all of that go away
To be replaced by thunderstorm 
You think you’re hot, you’re not even warm
As lightning cracks bolts across the black
I’ll always have asked you back
Into the room where it’s just us two
I don’t think they know about all of it, do you?
As silent on the astral plane
You used to enunciate my name
And I hear you now with all of the slow
Do you just suppose or do you know
Exactly what you claim to be
Is the ocean all at sea
Like it used to be when we were young
Just old enough to get some
And I don’t blush anymore 
When you look at me like that, a stór
But something stirs at the sight
Of you in the twilight 
When I think of all that could’ve been
With the Irish male at seventeen

Blue WKD

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The fever of youth
It can be such a brute
And parties come and parties go
Drinks on us, it’s a holy show
And I’ll always be sixteen 
Somewhere in a pink dream
Of candy clouds and come what may
Just don’t ask me to do what you say
Because I will rebel, rebel
Send hate crashing into hell
Like that year we walked Blathnáid home
But the streets of Longford are not to roam
In the night
It was alright
I think we ran back
Fearful of an attack
And we were just a little high on spritzers
At Jemma’s house and Pulitzer’s 
We’re something I thought I’d own
The years in between that I’d grown
But so far it’s all quiet
Nothing like the silent riot
On the trampoline 
Trying not to make a scene 
By throwing up
And Paddy had a little of my love
Though I didn’t tell him that
I know that he liked me back
And I wonder where or how the time
Has been kind to him and no rhyme
Can ever capture what he was
He was beautiful just because
His eyes were full of soul
And when he stared at me the waves would roll
Like a sullen sea
Intent on surfing me
To the conclusion
And if there was any confusion
I’d like to clear it up
And let him know that a little love
Falls his way
In every word that I say
Every poem I write
Exposes his pirate light
With earring in tow
I know you thought I didn’t know
But bad boy chic
And sensitive sends my cheek
Flaming red
I thought of you that night in bed
And if you’d knock on the door
How it would be something more
But anyway you are too dashing gallant
And if I’d’ve had any talent
I would have sent these lines to you
How’s it cooking in your zoo?
Do the lions roar
And is the treasure chest still to explore
I hope you see
That you were the riproar in me
For a moment held
I just hope you know that I felt
More than Spiral Tree
Behind the bar between you and me
Could explain
You were a shower and I love the rain

FOMO

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The fear of missing out
Haunts my sideboard
Coz nothing’s enough
I swear on the word
That I utter
Under my breath
I’m on my way
But I’m not there yet
And everything glistens
Like sunny snow
Out of my reach
But don’t you know
It’s closer than it was
And I didn’t break any laws
When I wished you down
I tore the tatters on my gown
Into the shape of a badass queen
What if this is just a dream
That is happening in consciousness
Do you trust
In the powers that be
Is it ok or will we see
What is coming down the line
There was that moment you stopped time
And I was taken by an intake of breath
It’s sharp and I cannot forget
It’s impact on my soul
I keep catching glimpses of being whole

The Monumental

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I’m exhausted fighting the tide
Oh what does it mean to be alive 
Is it treading water or surfing the waves
Is it falling down or being brave
Coz I cannot seem to find a story
When you look at it really that doesn’t adore me
As I question every facet of a different hue
It’s who I am not what I didn’t do
Living on the brink of a well worn facade
Diving deep beyond feeling bad
And finding the Heaven life has in store
You think this is it then it’s a bit more
And I don’t draw diagrams for fun
I’m all architecture and you’re the one
As we build and we break
But we own each and every breath that we take 
And every step that we walk
We must be integrity not mere talk
But the sun on the land
Or the good looking lad in a band
That caught my eye
Oh, I feel I could fly
But doubt my wings
It’s all hyperventilate and wondrous things 
As he meets my stare
Holds himself like he’s really there
And I cannot ignore 
The unconditional that I implore
Not to leave me
And you wouldn’t believe me
If I told you the truth
The monumental and my youth

Washed Out To Sea

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Before my youth is washed out to sea
I’ve got to stand up and proudly be me 
And the ages tick like a clock
Only reflecting all that I am not
Coz the seasons keep changing on a wheel 
And I keep saying no deal
Coz I know all that I’ll come to be
And it’s only on the surface that you cannot see
What’s brewing eternally

Own What’s Mine

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There was a panic at the disco when I walked in
And I threw my coke at the guy who flashed me a grin
And grabbed my ass
Without ever thinking to ask
Me for the time of day
Hey, bro it’s not okay
And I’m more than forests green
I’m much more than I may seem
And someday in the starshine
I will come to really own what’s mine

Young and Mysterious

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22 is a long way behind me
I’m just feeling nostalgic so don’t mind me
And the energy is bittersweet
Like the coast the ocean sweep
And I’ve grown up but I’m down
It’s been years since I’ve worn a classic gown
Back when I was in with the Commerce crowd
And I almost said your name aloud
When Isabelle asked if I
Had the hots for any guy
And what would have been if my tongue hadn’t tripped
Would you be the one I’m walking with
Coz I’m long past empty and far past subside 
And I still remember your diamond eyes
As they gazed up at me from the edge of the bed
I was looking down at all they said
And you just on the side of your seat
Was it fate that made us meet 
Coz I’m always feeling we’re supposed to be
I lean on you like a tree
So solid and secure
You look at me and I am pure
In my intent to do you well
How did I get so lost, I cannot tell
I just wanna know what it’d be like
To have a song where you’d grab the mic
And interject your own pause
There should be a hidden clause
That says when I get near to you
I’ll find a love that can do
No wrong
So I wrote you this song
Will you hear
Coz, my dear
I’m never far away
And I still love you, okay?

Wealth Is Mine

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The feeling of lostness of twenty one
When you’ve completed what is done
And people say that you’re still young
That life has barely just begun
But I feel weary in my bones
Splitting hairs and running home
And always, always alone
Except for the figures in my phone
Now I’m looking back ten years hence
When forever is in the present tense
And I’ve lifted weight off of my shoulders
Younger now that I am older 
And running lines
I’ve seen this play a thousand times
And if you say that you are fine
I believe it now wealth is mine
I believe it now summer is in the air
And you can feel the presence of all that isn’t there
In empty space
Is all that youth gone to waste
Or compost for the growing grass
Ground for something that will last

Imperfect Separation

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Just cause you’re young doesn’t shield you from death
It’s just a horizon you have not seen yet
And all the green grass eventually fades
There’s no guarantee of what will come with age
As they write us off as superfluously small
I don’t think they realise at all
That you can’t capture in a frame the picture generation
And it’s just insurance against our disintegration
Trying to grasp what we cannot make stay
I only want a reminder of you this way
As you are caught in the perfect suspension
Between laughter and the unspoken tension
That rests behind when you look at me
Cause you can’t capture the mystery
That propels us both down different paths
But I’ve broken the glass and I can’t go back
And we can only touch hand to hand
Separated by what we cannot understand
Is love enough to quench the flame
That longs for what I cannot name