Tag: you

Losing A Friend

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Did I lose a friend when I let you go 
On the edge of UCD and I just want you to know 
Who you are and what you mean to be 
What you were and what you are to me 
And you would drop your gaze and look away
I don't know why I couldn't make the time stay
Coz I wasn't sure I was girlfriend material 
I'm half wild and ethereal 
And I live to drop in and out 
Of my own self doubt 
And you were honest and true
And all heart and I loved you
But I didn't let you see 
In case you would get attached to me 
And I would have to split 
But I was enchanted and that's what you're dealing with 
As I'm leading you back to the club 
Because I don't want anything to happen to you, my love 
And I get Colin to go out and meet you there 
I want you to know I care 
But you stopped talking to me 
At the airport like you just looked straight through me 
As we'd wheel a case or carry a bag 
And the days drag 
Without you in my life 
I know you probably have a wife 
By now 
But the part of me that I allow 
You access to 
Has not been retracted, you
Still hold that same spot 
Somewhere between the dream of what I could be and what I am not 
Because you were fire red and real 
And I would steal 
You away in a minute 
But just don't think tradition is in it 
If you still want to call on me 
Just click hello and there I'll be

Realisation

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Will you ever know how much you mean to me
Did you know you were a dream set free
Into the open expanse
I watch the leaves dance
In the wind
And have we sinned
By leaving the door open 
You were barely coping 
When I swung in the gate
And your hate
Is rocket fuel 
Do you live the dual 
Race to the bottom
But I haven’t forgotten 
The way you just move with the breeze
And on my hands and knees
I pray to the God you were 
Before I found out you were with her

Image Credit: https://pin.it/6Qtx3sGwL

The Look You Scarce Can Hide

.Reading time 2 minutes.
There is a look you scarce can hide
Not even when you’re by her side 
And I can see the way she don’t reach
Into the lessons you long to teach
And she may be fine by the beach
But she’s not the one to help you sleep 
By her side 
And you are alive
But you’re in a lot of pain 
I can feel it in the rain 
That pours from your eyes
And if the hero dies
Is the story over 
And I don’t even know her
But I know enough to say
She is not me, okay
And you will never find your truth
In the prism of your youth 
Thinking you’ve won the war
Not realising what it’s for 
And you swore you had one over on me 
But I just set you free
And I know I may not see you again 
Not in this form so I look at other men
And they are wonderous and pure
But I am still fuckin’ sure 
That you’re the one I long to be with 
And I’m not gonna call her a bitch
Just because some theft’s going on 
And I may be gone 
But I still feel you wish 
For my lips to meet your kiss
Like they did on the first day
Our palm to palm and then away
Into the pub where no alcohol is served
And I observed 
That when I swerved 
Away from you
You still pondered what to do
And if you could reach over to me
But thank you for letting me be free
I was too young for sex
Or committing to what you wanted to do next
And I returned several years later
And was enamoured til I realised you date her
All the while I poured my soul 
Into your begging bowl
And you see yourself as pathetic and weak 
Because you did not speak 
Up when you felt the cue
But I’ve always seen the king in you
And he rules the realm of my heart
It only gets stronger since we’ve been apart 

Image Credit: https://pin.it/2dyZuzzT8

I Can’t Believe You Left It There

.Reading time 1 minute.
It was New Year’s Day
And you had put our things away
When I saw her look at you that way
And your protests fell on deaf ears
Like your promises did with my tears
And I saw it all spiral down
Through our facebook town
You know the one that takes a village
To find the truth and spill it
Like blood on the floor
And the one I adore
Has been keeping a secret
And our war of words got heated 
As I screamed into the wind
And he looked for the courage he’d sinned
As I told him to go eff himself 
And he complained that his mental health
Couldn’t withstand such an onslaught
So I bottled it up
Don’t you dare try to call this love
I will just depart
But when I do I’ll take your heart
With me as I go
And leave a god shaped hole so that you know
Just what you lost
I look at her and pay the cost
And sigh
This has been the longest goodbye
I wonder if I’ll ever break the chain
Or if the rain
Is just a sign that clouds change
And what is stellar will rearrange
Itself around planetary bodies 
And your one of those oddities
Who can look with true eyes
Through the web of his own lies

Oh, The Horror

.Reading time 3 minutes.
I know she is your lover
And I couldn’t have wished for any other
To take my place
But I hate her face
When I see her with you
And I know I have no right to
Expect fidelity
From a man in my history
And I’m sure she’s lovely and floats your boat
And I’ve flicked through stories that you both quote
In your dalliance on the screen
The difference between me and her and the dream
Is that she was with you down the mall
And it’s been fifteen years since I could say I was as well
Or at least by the school
You know the one where we broke the rule
That drove you wild
I think I knew you when I was a child
Coz I can sense your spirit near
Whenever you’re not here
And I used to have these visions
Of scooby strings and everything 
And we’re all tied up in knots
But there’s something that you forgot
About me
When I set you free
Coz I could not be your ball and chain
I could never mask sunshine with rain
And I know it’s deep and profound
But I didn’t miss the sound
That echoed between us
And think how it could’ve been us
If only I had buried the hatchet
That asked you to match it
Flame and fire 
With air that could take me higher
Than any string
On a mannequin 
Could do
Do you ever imagine me with you? 
When she says your name
Does it sound the same
As it does when I do
Is it petty of me to ask you
To compare
And your stare
Still echoes a refrain
One moment and I am there again
As you throw me against the wall
In your mind so I play hard ball
And look away
What is it that I didn’t say
That means so much now
Now that you won’t allow
Me to bridge the gap
And it was like a slap
When you answered the phone
With a voice like a dial tone
That contained no speech
Did you think I was weak
Enough to break
And say it’s all for your sake
It ain’t my style
But I haven’t seen you in a while
And I wonder
Does your thunder
Still ache hearts
Or have you taken them all apart?

Fingerprints

.Reading time 1 minute.
I saw this song on your page and I thought it was about me
So I took all my accoutrements and I let them go free
I gathered up my skirts and I got on the road
Coz you know I have to kiss that toad 
And I run to your side as I abandon fate
I ignore the red flags and the hate
That you espouse, that sometimes seems to escape
From your shape 
And I know we all draw lines
But I would do it again a thousand times
And I found you in 2011
It was the dawn of heaven
Over my dark night
My soul expanded into the light
That you effortlessly are
Then I realised that the star
You had been looking at was her
And what we were
Was only in my mind
(Or so my sister says, and to leave it all behind)
But there’s a part of me that is resolute
I laugh as you act the flute
On a screen
And this dream
Is better than reality
Coz somewhere in time and space I was with you

The Crash And The Bang

.Reading time 3 minutes.
There was a crash and a bang
And then the phone rang
To say that he had died
And I screamed out and cried
And the memory of it sings
Like a bullet in my back and things
Were never the same after that 
Because I can’t get his light back
As it leaves his shape
I watch the soul escape
The body I thought I knew
And what if I never see you
Ever again
You were the best of men
And you would get that look that would lock
Into my gaze and I would take stock 
Of the moment that we held 
Like out on the mountain that morning as dawn broke its shell
Or the time I took a video recorder
And filmed you looking into the border
That bridges the place between you and I
I was eleven when the sigh
Escaped your lips
And my own eclipse
Began with a swathe of rage
I decided not to use a page
To document my anguished sobs
Because that would be to rob
Some of my pain from me 
And what would be left of our history
The one with Ireland on the wall
You had cut it out or you walking down the hall
In the middle of the night when all was quiet
Just a door gently shutting on the riot
That cascaded my dreams
A grandfather that isn’t all he seems
Because he is a whole life away
And I’m just starting mine, what do you say
That everything will be okay
And you love Granny and that day
You held a candle as you depart
And it nearly breaks my heart
Watching her watching you go
Why did God make us for this so
To love and to say goodbye 
I don’t mean to always cry 
When I think of twenty two years ago
It’s just I promised that the low
Would bring me a high 
And I feel you in the sky
As I gaze into a scene 
And ask God to wake the dream
Up if He possibly could 
So I walk alone in the wood
At the back of our land
Until something takes my hand 
And leads me to a monument 
That points to the place the person went 
And how could hell be heaven sent 
I swear and I eff and blind 
But it doesn’t bring me respite from the mind
That tears me into treachery 
Look your love is not lost in me
It’s just fading into eternity
One you will come to know
My surrender will not let you go

The Moment’s Promise

.Reading time 2 minutes.
He talks to me and it’s so sweet
Cute, the way we meet
At the perfect nexus
Then it becomes a battle of the sexes 
And I know he’s leading me on
So, suddenly I’m long gone
Though I’m still there 
Answering every questing prayer 
I catch every glance
As we surreptitiously dance 
Across the ground floor of the building
I don’t even know what we’re willing
Into existence
There is slight resistance
At the edge of the fray
As I realise he thinks of me that way
I feel his consciousness pour 
And it’s a feeling I adore
So I look in his eyes
But it’s all disguise 
As he just smiles and stares back into his imagination
A moment of hesitation 
And I pause 
Am I disobeying any laws 
When I refuse
To be the purse you wanna use
To fill what you can’t describe 
But we’re still young and alive 
Is it a secret I ponder
Watching as his mind wander 
And my friend next door throws a sharp glance
And I know he’s taking a chance
On all that we could be
But does he know that eternity
Is at his door 
And, mercifully, on the same floor
As we ground the energy
I picture him with me 
Then he finds another soul
To make him whole
But still, I feel
And this thing feels real
Did you just wanna dance 
I look at you sideways and askance
He catches what I deliver
Do you think you could forgive her 
For being a little too much
I never tell you I love the touch
Of your hand to mine
When you look at the thread so fine 
That has brought you to me
And though it may be infinesimally
Smaller than the sky
I’ll still love you til I die
I had to call
If only to hit your brick wall

Fear To The Touch

.Reading time 1 minute.
You could be dead and I wouldn’t know
Does the pain start to show
As I mourn your form
So cold where it used to be warm
And I remember kissing the forehead
Of my Grandad in the coffin
It was like ice
And the shock 
Made my soul splice
Into multiple parts
How do you move with a broken heart
And the beat tries to keep you steady
But it stutters and I wasn’t ready
To commit my life to a mortal thing
Coz this bird with broken wing
Can’t fly
And you could die 
And I would shatter like a pane of glass
But somehow in the mists something last
And keeps me walking to your door 
Leaving notes for someone I adore
So he might know 
That, though it doesn’t show
I hold him close to my breast
Calamity and the rest
Can’t shake the ground I know
I watched you change and grow 
From a boy to a man
Through facebook coz I can
And it may track my every move
But I’ve nothing left to prove
Except to leave my open hands
There for the slipping sands
That are the years of us
I shake but I trust

In One

.Reading time 3 minutes.
Mercury’s in retrograde
And Irish people call a spade a spade 
Coz you know that morbid humor 
Isn’t gonna make it get you any sooner 
And I’m poised between a perfect spin
And in my mind I’m dancing with him
On an empty street
Oh, how I cursed the stars that meet
Us on the street or on the bus
There was just that feeling of trust
As I let myself believe
And I watch you hide your hands up your sleeve 
That morning in the Mall
Want to take a walk or shall
We just stare at each other across a mirage 
And I draw lines across your visage 
That will one day be a wrinkle in time 
But you’ll never stop being fine
As I watch you live your life with someone else
You advise me it’s best to take care of my mental health 
Coz you know stability is a wealth
So I smack the camera out of your hand
I will be grand 
Just not knowing
Coz I’m not finished growing
Gardens in my mind 
And they’re not well tended or left behind 
They are veritably wild 
And in my heart I’m still a child 
And I scoff in the face 
Of the rules that you chase 
So go ahead, be normal
Address me in a tone that’s formal
Coz you don’t have the time 
To watch my stellar shine
And maybe you were just afraid 
Coz, you know, that “bitch”, she slayed 
And all the lines that they encase
Won’t find you that dream you chase
Of 2.5 and a car
Don’t you ever wonder what we are 
And reincarnation kinda resembles the setting sun
But do you think we could get it in one
Coz this axis is an endless spin
And Nirvana revealed itself to him
When I let him into my sphere 
Now we are ever near
Like two orbiting souls 
Planets ruled by the poles 
But what is this non dual understanding 
All I know is you were commanding
My attention when you suggested
That we go get arrested
Just for the hell of it
Who am I sharing my heart with?
But I can’t help the laugh that escapes 
And not all superheroes wear capes 
But you sure do
Could I kick it with you 
In the summer of our age
I think I’m gonna need another page 
To get this down 
I won’t wear a gown
But in a t-shirt and jeans
I met the man of my dreams

The Rain And The Grass

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I think I've found the princess and the pea
And the thing that was troubling me 
Coz it started that summer after we met
Something about time and what we cannot forget 
And it was just a day
But it changed everything anyway
And you were a little emo cool
I was a little high achiever in school
And we both wrote our own stories
It doesn't help that yours always floors me
With your honesty and straight talk
If I knew you better I would've said you'd walk 
But as it was we sat side by side
And I felt I knew what was inside
You from the way you stared at my frame
And I barely know your name
But it's been embedded in my mind since
As if you are the perfect prince
To cut through the brambles and briars
To wake the one who sleeps through fires
And I know I should not utter the truth
Lest I find myself in league with a brute
Who evinces all that there is to be
When I discovered you with me 
It was as though a holy sun burned 
It was as though the axis turned
Just for the sake of gravity
And it's the magnetism that pulls you to me 
In the era of high agenda
You don't have to defend that 
Same old little pocket of pain
Because I will only assuage the rain
That kisses the ground and grows the grass
And the trouble is not born to last
But to come and go
So that we both might know
What peace will entertain
You are a beautiful refrain
As we grow the earth
Up out of it's time of hurt
Into the knowledge of the sun
And that we all are one

Twin Flame Dreams

.Reading time 1 minute.
I meet you in my darkest hours
When I've been given over to unconscious powers
To remake the day
You touch my hand anyway
And say
That everything will be okay
And you're mystical, blue and something serene
I seem to only meet you in my dreams
Where your warm presence touches my soul 
And you crash like the tide on the shore that I roll
And we are as one beyond what I can contain
If you were a cloud you would fall to me as rain
But you're not a nebulous feat of the sky
You are a love that will never die
And I met you so long ago
But I knew you before that, you know
And we've had our rows and our differences change
I'm too much the same and you're overly strange
But somehow we meet in the middle of our love story plot
Breaking the shell of all that we're not
Into an omelette of fate's desire
You set my heart on fire
And it burns away all the cracks
I'm broken but I would not take it back
Coz that's how the light gets through
And I see it shining in you
As you magnify the circumspect
Is there a moment to reject
What we've known thus far
How could I ever know what you are?

Twin Flame Runner/Chaser Dynamic

.Reading time 1 minute.
One of us comes 
The other one goes
I wear the pants
He just knows
And we found love
Where it can dance
Did you take a breath
Or a second chance
On the money
Or off the floor
What is it about love
That we adore
Coz you're summer
I'm winter
We're a cyclical thing
And I know it's real 
When I hear the bell ring
And we lift off
The ground is below
The air is free
But do you go 
When I open my heart
And pour out my wounds
I didn't think the end
Would come so soon
And you're looking past me
Into the sky
What's it about love
That will neither live nor die

Battle Of The Bands

.Reading time 1 minute.
They walked away from the town they knew
And Longford’s not the same without you
The streets are grey, the skies are dull
And my skin’s as thin as cotton wool
And I still remember where we left that day
In the car park with nothing to say
So I wrapped my arms around your waist
But you had to go, make haste
And for that whole week I was delirious 
Shooting hoops so serious 
I sat on the floor by the kitchen sink
And my stomach did flips to barely  think
Of you somewhere with a phone
To reach into my alone
And make it two
So I can be lonely with you
And then I saw you again at the battle of the bands
I didn’t know where to place my hands
So I ran off to the restroom
I knew I had to come out sometime soon
And that you would be waiting
There’s no hating
Just a vague terror for you to see
What resides at the heart of me
But I stood my ground on a screen
Willing to be truly seen
Did you feel my soul
Reach out across the coal
You walk upon 
I’m not gone
But here in the room we know
I did not let you go
But hold you in my heart so true
I stare to say I’ve been waiting for you

Sensuality

.Reading time 1 minute.
I guess I just couldn’t be myself
Because of the wealth
Of rules and strictures 
And there’s all these guys taking pictures
And you can’t trust
Something when it’s based in lust
There’s gotta be something more
But when you look at me I adore 
Myself reflected in your eyes
And in your aura there’s no disguise
You see right through
To what I didn’t mean to show you
Or anyone
But the sun
Just shone
And then you were gone
And I grasped air
In the place where you were there
Til I found you again
And I swear off all men
But your soul pulls the floor
And I unslam the door
And let you back in
If I’m a competitor can I let you win
Coz I don’t wanna lose
The point I came here to prove
That you’re the best thing I never had
And my good is so bad
When you contemplate the style
But I’ll keep you on file
And flick through the memory scene 
Do you wanna make the dream
Real and true
Oh God, what I would do with you! 😉

Momentary

.Reading time 1 minute.
It was momentary 
Just a little hint of stardust
As we danced to the silence of your heart
And I realized we would never be apart
That there’s something in your eyes
It’s in the movies in disguise
And I remember watching Yvaine
Soar above the pain
In that summer of 08
It was August and every breath that I take
Informs me of something new
And, honey, it was you

Now you’re far away
And weaving in and out between
Dancing in 
Some kind of dream
And there are words I don’t utter
But when you smile I melt like butter
Into a puddle at your feet
I’m still absorbed by the way a black hole will meet
The light that moves to its own pulse
And I must inquire does love repulse
Opposite poles like two magnet shapes 
Did I fall in love or did I forsake

And we’re all at sea in our separate lives
We do anything just to survive
But I catch you catch hold of my hand
Help me into a carriage I don’t understand 
As it takes me somewhere new
There is scenery but it sings of you
And the us we could be
Or already are like water is free
To flow through rather than under
And I may have deleted your number
But it’s just coz I’m defeated and going under
The tidal weight of the ocean we are
You caught my eye like a shooting star

You Wanna Dance With Me?

.Reading time 1 minute.

All my family agree that you’re bad news
And have me paired up with a different pair of shoes
That never seem to walk the line surmised
Or pass the test when he’s been breathalysed
But he’s better and healthier from the outside
And all they want is a decent compromise
That’s so tempting just to fulfil
Even if it is against my will
Because your cocaine blues somehow conspire
To set my traitor’s heart afire
Send my pulse hammering in my veins
As I spit into your face and you leave tear stains
So wrong, so inconceivably wrong
That you make me feel as though I belong
With your violent aggression cloaked so shy
Into a look that only I can spy
And smile at because I know it means
That I’m the only one to burst your seams
And send you reeling universal
Into a cosmic hole of dispersal
As the midnight claims both our souls
I’d rather die by the number your dice rolls
Than live with the certainty that exists
When I survive on what my love resists
A truth and unfailingness to see
That though I hate it, you’re it for me.

Balance

.Reading time 4 minutes.

I find love in your sad eyes and you don’t know I see it there
As you pierce through to me it makes me start to care
And it helps that you’re good looking with the linings of a beard
But even if you weren’t your soul is why I’m here
To capitalise as you put it on who just sat beside
And I know that we just met but I’m glad that you’re alive
To pour your peculiar poetry into my brain
I don’t know if you think about the clouds behind the rain
As you try to understand what you fail to see
I didn’t admit you got it right when you pinpointed me
But I had to smile through the unsettling of being called out
Because I trust your innocence and I love what you’re about
And I’m loath to leave as I’m sure you can tell
As I fail to turn away from you when you ask me to aswell
Because you’re just too interesting and this moment is holy
And I can’t involve myself with them when I’m looking for you only
As you spread out on the seat with the lines that you attach
I thought I had lost my love but it always comes back
And I’m focused with intent on knowing who you are
As you dance around the riverbed you do not see the star
That is shining on your head and guiding me to you
You saw that I’m alone but I think you are too
Though you’re so extravagant, you’re sincerely warm
And I would like to hold your hand sailing through this storm
Of life as it moves, the continuum you say
And I would like to be with you if that is okay
And I know that you are younger and friends with recompense
But I don’t see why I should walk away from the things you meant
As you do not hide it well and I don’t think you intend
By your side I thought you could do with a friend
To stand by your soul and I guess I could be her
I would have come sooner but I didn’t know where you were
Or the name of someone who vehemently existed
I’ve spent too long along the lines of the hearts I have resisted
And so, no more, no more, I will reach my hand to you
I’ll take you from this place if you want me to
With the noise and the exploding of the people who do not mean
Half of what they say they do and change who they have been
So hold my eyes my friend because I am missing you
And feeling your absence in the place the wind blows through
And I think of how funny and how awesome it is
To find your compatible to be the same as his
As you’re sitting over chairs and tobacco in a room
I thought the night was over but I thought it too soon
So ever present angel as you effervesce the sky
Please come back into my arms so that I know why
I need so very badly something I cannot have
I lost it all when I lost him and that’s why I’m feeling bad

 

 

The Dark

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
"Don't touch it"
Everyone seems to say
But I love the dark 
It is deep and endlessly long
It is peaceful and pure
In its nothingness

Blood Strings

.Reading time 1 minute.

You ripped my heart away from my body
That’s how I knew you were thinking of me
And I’ll take the pain and the bleeding wounds
If it means you’ll come back soon
But you are miles of forests ever away
And your absence can’t keep the darkness at bay
Like the desperation of he when he thinks she has died
Are the oceans of loneliness I have cried
And you stand up tall with your shoulders wide
But there are some things you cannot hide
And maybe I saw a fragment in your eye
Of the person I could be without your goodbye
So stay, I’ll beg you on my knees
I’ll do it on a stage if you want them to see
My desperation and my anguish floor bound
I dread the silence when you’re not around
And I know we fought and we could not make
A mountain from the rubble of our mistake
And I just want to touch your skin
In a way that reaches what is within
Cause I felt it, don’t tell me you didn’t too
It breaks my heart when you say it’s not for you
But you’re my butterfly and I want your colour
To be free to fly, as you wish, my brother

The Long Way Back

.Reading time less than 1 minute.

art_umbrella_rain_girl-wide

You walked me all the way back to my car
And left me there
With a hand on my shoulder
You uttered your goodbye
Permanent and forever
But made of such materials
Not built to last
The timber rotted in the rain
And the fragile frame of you
Soon fell asunder
In tears to echo the watered sky
And I can hear you cry
Over here from abroad
As I silently live out my penance
For a crime I did not commit
And you, beautiful you
Wish it undone

Photo Credit: http://wallpaperwidehd.blogspot.ie/2014/04/girl-in-rain-wallpaper.html