Tag: writing

The Blackened Sun

.Reading time 1 minute.
The blackened sun shines from eyes that are undone 
And I remember from when I was young 
That adults paved the world of grey
And made you do what they say 
And it’s unconsciousness, it’s conflagration 
A darkness in a miseducation 
When you are taught to think 
But not taught to be aware of the sink 
In which everything will drain 
And must we let the pain 
Continue without reserve
I love the world but, my word
Humans are a violent creation 
And I can’t just switch the station 
For flick the TikTok 
Because it hurts a lot 
To see the children die 
And the mothers and fathers cry 
As they are dehumanised 
Like there are only bullets behind their eyes
And a two state solution 
Could be the answer to the revolution 
That is bubbling under the surface
I hope that they don’t hurt us 
For saying what we see to be true 
And I must stand with you 
For if we quake in cowardice 
We fuel a fire that burns us twice

A Message To My Tormentor

.Reading time 6 minutes.
A message to my tormentor, you know the one I try to protect 
I look up and the whole dream is wrecked 
Because I was perfect, I was pristine 
I was the ruler, I was the queen 
But then everything turned the dice on its head 
And I was screaming as I lay in bed 
Because I could feel my mind separate 
From the man I would love to date
And it was as though someone had taken my knife
And carved a chasm between husband and wife
And I just lay there and silently toiled
I was to the rescue but I was embroiled 
In all of what tried to tear us apart 
I was in UCD when the pain thought to start 
And nothing like Darragh or Marian too 
Could prevent the onset if what I couldn’t do 
To myself or to you 
So I ran for the hills 
Because this is the kind of thing that kills
And the track was dusty and red 
And I begged you to tell someone instead
And you did 
And I may have hid 
For years from your sight 
But I was watching that you were alright 
And I could feel the wrecking ball hit me where it hurt
And I would be left sprawling in the dirt
Then the boy with the beautiful smile 
Told me he’d like to hold me for a while 
And I was safe in his arms
But then all the alarms 
Rang in St. Pat’s 
In the years I was afraid of baseball bats
So I just do what they say
Take the meds they prescribe so I can find a church to pray
And there was a little chapel 
Beside the canteen and Eve ate the apple 
They had gifted to her 
But it doesn’t make me forget the Eden we were 
For a moment in time 
And I want him to know that he is sublime 
And no devil or rodent or snake or tail 
Can shake the foundation of what I let fail 
And it was Gareth Brooks 
And one for the books 
As I sipped a Coke 
And laughed along like I was in on the joke 
But secretly I choke 
And bless the place that gave me sanctuary 
And helped me get away from you and me 
The register said something about ambiguity 
And my insecurity 
Has me chasing Shauna around 
And asking her if she heard the sound 
She looks at me like I’m not well 
And also like I’m onto something she cannot tell 
So I back off but when she needs a friend 
I jump over the fence she thought to mend 
Like a wall between two neighbours who walk
But both of us know that it is all talk 
And she holds my hands
She is five years younger than me but she understands
What it means to be bereft 
And she told me something about someone and their theft 
Of her innocent pure 
But I want her to know that the cure
Lies in the heart in her chest 
It beats still fervently and knows her best
Better than the wolf at the gate
Or the people she has come to hate
And I still fear the loss of the man 
Because I know it’s his life and I know that he can 
Do whatever he wants
And it’s the kind of freedom that haunts
Every word that I write 
And leaves me exiled to a silent night 
When I think he is already gone 
So I play that song 
Over and over and they sharpen the blade
That would have you and I in the shade 
And I rage 
And let them take me to hell 
Because every ringing bell 
Just signals doomsday in my mind 
So don’t worry that I’ve left you behind 
I’m just trying to ruin the machine 
And break what would take the slate from the dream 
And I falter and kneel
At the foot of what you feel 
Because to you its real 
And I would steal 
It all away if I could 
So that that look could not draw blood 
Because you are the quintessence of good 
And I meet you in the wood 
When all the noise dies down
And you say something about a beautiful gown 
As I take it off 
Our hands touch and all is not lost

Human Again

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I feel like human again now there’s a chink in the chain 
And you know you’re from Ireland if you trust the rain 
To always fall
There used to be a Berlin Wall
To separate the East from West
Like they separate me from the one who knows me best
And they trap me in a cage 
So I let it rage on a page
All the good they ever did
Was just to confirm that I’m His
Am I crazy
Do I let it faze me 
Or just let it raise me 
From the dead
And I lay in my bed
In Dean Swift 
And Emmett said whisht
Don’t worry your little head 
And he all but winked at me instead 
As I lay there and just stared 
But I dared 
To cross a line 
That was so fine
As a pen with a nib
Can I ad lib 
And find a quote 
That I could float 
Did you know that I wished 
You were not a star that I missed
As I shoot past your gate 
And I may have learned to hate
The gatekeepers at the door
But you’re something I adore 
And the fallaway floor
Let’s me out again 
I call it men
But really it’s human kind 
And women want equality
But it’s revenge that’s on my mind 
For the guy that took me down 
And now it’s an ocean that I drown 
In my wide open air 
Is there any proof that I was there 
When the final crack of the whip 
Split my lip 
And I bleed words into the abyss
Why do I still miss
Someone who did that to me 
And if you’re chained to the sky are you free
Like Dylan says 
I’m not sure anyone is listening anyways

The Sneaking Suspicion

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I get this feeling, it’s like an irritation 
And it has me running to his station 
To see what I can’t download 
But the road 
Turns and I can’t see 
What he ever meant for me 
When he changed his tune
Turned his head with me in the room 
And I know I can’t be mad
Should let him off with the feeling bad 
Because I feel the spiral 
That has somehow gone viral 
On YouTube
And even the coolest dude
Is susceptible to 
The weakness of being open to 
A failing of words 
And following the herds 
Like a basket case 
That some demon somewhere wants to erase
I stepped into the stream 
And the nightmare of a dream 
Came to show its face
Did I really need to embrace
The lowest of form 
So that I could be warm 
When he’d look at me 
I can’t hide the gaze that just see
Into mystery 
And he thinks he so complex and he is so proud
Of all that he does not say out loud 
But its echoing from you 
Like a ripple as I dip my toe into 
The river we were 
Before you met the ocean of her 
When you plunged into its frigid storm 
Did you remember the moment we were born 
In some distant haze 
Not I look as your gaze 
Tries to rest on me on the sand 
But I could never be that land 
Not when it’s arid and dry
And I never did mean to make you cry
It’s just I’m plush and green 
And I take the one seat ahead of the scream 
That violates lines 
And you’ve said it before, like a thousand times 
How you love it when 
She whispers prayers like an amen 
And I’m sure you do 
Pull needles though 
The jumper you embroider 
And I hope you enjoy her 
But don’t blame me for the why 
The resolve you never had to die 
In a fiery fuse 
I look at you two and I just bruise 
In the place where the picture meets my skin 
And then I walk into a room and meet him 
And he’s just like you 
But a bit more dangerous and outspoken too
If that could be real 
Possible that I could feel 
That way again 
In a hall of willing men 
Who open their palms 
To me like they are giving alms
To the girl I was for what I’ve become 
I was beautiful when I was young

The Diamonds In The Fabric

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Am I condemned to the perpetual misunderstand
There’s something about her phrase that seems so underhand 
And yet in demand
I crave then I crawl 
I hold back, then I call
Because I can’t keep the typewriter from doing its shit 
And I’m just a leaf that she’s folding her paper with 
And it’s not like I’m mad with her or hateful 
And I know I should be so damn grateful 
I get to know her at all
But it’s just that wall
She takes it down, then fires it up 
And I wonder if we have fallen out of love
Into a deep blue sky
And all my asking why
Meets the same response
A thousand different ways in handwritten fonts
But the answer doesn’t change
I make the stars rearrange 
Then get bullied and bruised
Feel malfeased and inappropriately used
By the powers that be
And the status they think they give to me 
And all of my aching since 2005
And wondering if she even knows I’m alive
Anymore
I go knock on her door 
And I hear the rap echo 
What did I wreck though 
With my brilliant sun
And the knowing that I am the one 
The fire, the phoenix, the passionate Aries 
Away with the birds and down with the fairies 
I listen for any pouring of water 
That may come from the halls of the daughter
I used to be
But now I see
I have outgrown that frame
Like I have burst through my name
Into something new
And it was always you
I would go to
At the first sign of sea
Now it’s just the ocean witnessing me 
As you avert your gaze
And the cities you raze
And don’t even notice 
Who said that we have to make up quotas 
Just to get elected 
But Jesus resurrected
Spells a new storm
And if you think you’re hot, you’re not even warm 
In the midnight blues
And all of you that can’t pay its dues 
In form 
The day I was born 
Something spoke to me 
And it said; this is the way it’s going to be
So I cried 
And at fourteen I died
Like I had in a previous life
One where I broke down and agreed to be a wife
But enough of that now, I’m bullet and silver 
And I’ve enough in my quill to write syllable of her 
Though she may see
The descent of grey mystery 
On the plurality 
Of the expanse we are 
How did that star 
Ever come to be 
The landscape that we both seem to see

You Proof

.Reading time 3 minutes.
I haven't ever found something that could kill the love in me  
Though I let the men I love go free
Coz I'm not the traditional woman that makes a home 
I'm likely to leave you alone 
To grow into the boots that are you're own 
I'm likely to let you win and realise the game was thrown 
Coz I'm more than what I appear to be 
And I think it's time I let people see 
My heart is full most of the time
And I guess it's a damn crime 
I shut myself away behind doors 
Left the men that my soul adores 
And just coz there's more than one 
Doesn't mean that the sun 
Doesn't shine from the skin 
Of every man who steps into the shoes of Him 
I see Jesus in their eyes 
As though it's the Buddha in disguise 
Some kind of awakened consciousness
Or sentience I cannot discuss 
With anyone, anywhere 
I just want them to know I am there 
Always and forever 
And the flowers you drop will always be there 
As I pick the buttercups in the field 
Feel your breath on the wind and I yield 
To the warmth in my heart 
And I didn't mean for the end to start 
But it's just the way with some of these things
And most girls are after rings 
But I just appreciate Saturn in the sky
And think of how we all die 
Somewhere in the mist 
Some people don't even know they exist 
So surface play they swim the shallow pools 
And they put us in separate schools 
To keep the passion at bay 
But my heart knows the song your music play
Grooving to the tune of Paddy wearing an ear pierce
And the way his eyes would turn fierce
When he'd look at me 
So deep and dark and eternity 
And he'd utter a sharp word when his pride was wounded 
And it was like the ball had rebounded 
Back into my chest 
So I just dropped it like I do it best
But I still think of you sometimes 
I wonder if that is the worst of my crimes 
And I saw you in the Spiral Tree
I waited for you and you looked at me 
And I held the barrier so you could get in 
But I don't know if I would be woman enough for him 
I just know his soul spells the sky in me 
It's your light infinity

Letting The Monstrous Go

.Reading time 1 minute.
I’m letting the monstrous go, the one that tried to eat me 
But it could not defeat me 
Because I hold Jesus in my core
And I know who loves me more
As they batter me with clubs and stones
As I beg them to just leave me alone 
And Barry smirks and grins 
But I don’t have so much time for him 
Because I feel the pulverise try to latch a grasp 
And the asp 
Bites but does not sting 
And no diamond ring 
Is forthcoming 
But I like who I’m becoming 
As the doctor looks at me with plaintive distress
And if I had to guess
I’d say that she fears death 
But then she deals with it every day, I must not forget
And tries to stave it off every way she can 
But I accept that every man 
Must one day give way to the sea 
And let the spirit become what it’s always been to me 
As natural as breathing or being born 
Why do the people look so forlorn 
As they contemplate 
A realm they cannot estimate 
With the power of the mind 
I let go all that I’m leaving behind
And I feel myself losing it 
But I think that I’m choosing it 
As I walk towards the sun 
I realise that I’m the One

Burning CDS

.Reading time 1 minute.
I burn CDs to know the truth
And each song reminds me of you
As your image fragments and splits into two 
A mirror reflecting what is already gone 
Twenty years old and sining your song
As you let me see your heart
And I turn the pain into art
That I can turn over again and again
Like an embroidered cushion of all the men
I’ve loved in the past
From Paddy to the one that will last 
Past the bounds of death 
And he says that he forgets
What we were 
And only has eyes for her
And I should let him go 
But I don’t think he know
What he means to me 
And if the dream would let me be
I would let him see
That it’s he and I eternity 
In the wilderness and the scrub
You know it that it’s true love
When unconditionality breaks the kernel of 
The ego you thought was 
All that there was to you
Now I know that I’m more than I could ever do
In this world of form 
And the image of you makes my cheeks warm 
And my heart do a jig
But you’re working on an oil rig
And every fire I think to set 
Only endangers what was met 
In the honesty I let slip through 
When I told you that I love you

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The Line I Shouldn’t Cross

.Reading time 1 minute.
The line I shouldn’t cross
Tries to tell me who’s boss
With it’s threats and warnings 
And just because it’s storming 
Doesn’t mean that’s not how it’s meant to be
Is the weather messing with me 
And I hear the call of Frances deep
Behind every promise that I keep
Somewhere int he wood 
Of the lines of feeling good
As I surfed that wave
And all the people I was going to save
With my wilderness heart
And the love that God had set apart 
For you and I
But does the water die
When it slips through your fingers 
And are the bringers 
Of the other side
Really merchants of doom 
All I can say is I know when you’re in the room
Coz I feel you before I see you
But there are days I wouldn’t want to be you
As I feel the current pushing forth
Past the boundaries of no remorse
And you found a safe haven with her
And I don’t want to risk it on what we were
So I can’t be your friend
Coz I’m only ever waiting for it to end
So we can take up where we left off
And in that kind of love someone must pay the cost 
Of losing what they thought to hold
So I put the letters in bold
I love you but I’m letting you go
I’ll hold on forever though, just so you know

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Pillow

.Reading time 1 minute.
I feel the grey encroach upon my consciousness
And who do I address the letter 
That I could do better
And I need help to reach out of this prison cell 
Of all the people that wish me well 
And I’m just sitting in a café, what the hell 
I have to escape 
But I am right here, right now
And that’s gotta be enough somehow 
But I strain against the edge of my chains 
And I know that the rains
Will fall soon 
And the bells of doom 
Will echo ever near but ever far 
And every star 
Is born to turn into a black hole
And what will happen to my soul 
When it quakes against the edge of the limit 
I have to give up the desire to “win it” 
Because it is no good to me now 
And I hate the conflict that I allow 
To penetrate the mist 
Of the zone in which I exist 
And is it just screaming into the abyss
Throwing my prayers outwards in case there’s something that I miss 
In the soothing of an age 
I rip the page
Out of the typewriter
And search for something to ignite her 

Image Credit: https://pin.it/5CFk1YaYp

It’s The Little Things

.Reading time 1 minute.
It’s the little things
Like wedding rings
And fire that ignite
And I hear that you like
What you see
And when the person is me
I blush and then sigh
And I don’t say goodbye
To you again
Coz I’ve made my peace with the notion of men
How you can’t show affection
Without them wanting to add you to their collection
Of dolls sitting on the wall
But that isn’t me at all
Except when I’m walking by the rows
And the feeling shows 
As I smirk 
And I didn’t think that this would work
But it does 
And the story starts because
I let you in the door
When I’m walking on the ground floor
Of the building grey
But the door unlocks when you say
Hello to me
I didn’t think that I would be
Clutching at straws at thirty three

Didn’t See That One Coming!

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Did you not notice you already buried me 
I say to her as she sets me free 
Of her bullet strung chain 
That she shakes around herself in vain 
Because I’m like the white horse that’s gotten away 
And there’s nothing she can say 
That will hold me there now 
And somehow 
I know this will be the last time her oppression 
Tries to elicit a confession 
From my lips 
And I always liked eclipse 
But the thread is always there to fray
And its like what you say
I already know 
That’s why I’m letting you go

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Broken Arrows

.Reading time 1 minute.
She uses broken arrows to fire at me 
Then says that she sets me free 
But her archery is not second place
And she knows how to deface 
A wall with her spray paint eyes 
And bulletproof disguise
And we’ll never be what we were 
Because you cracked the crisp leaf beside her 
And stabbed me in the front (only enemies stab you in the back)
Still though your love don’t mean jack 
Not now, not anymore
And I’ll always have affection for you, mo stór
But our two by two is now shattered glass 
Because you thought he just wanted ass 
And so you sought to protect
Me from being a reject
But in seeing me in the lowest terms
I set fire to the hay and it burns 
Up all the crackling grass
And she said that this too shall pass
But she’s not the one who has to live through the story 
I know she’ll just ignore me 
If I try to press my case
So I fall silent in the land gone to waste
And spill it all out onto a page
All my bubbling pain and held back rage 
When she’s in the room 
I don’t know, you echo the bells of doom 

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Echo Your Name

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I walked on the eggshells of not knowing where to look 
Should I do this one by the book 
Or throw the rules out of the window 
I know she has her eyes on him though 
As I spy her through my eyeglass
And we both agree that Darragh is class 
And maybe I shouldn’t mention his name 
But he’ll only see this when I’m way high and fame 
Has taken me to the door 
Of all the people I love but mo stór 
Let me tell you you were epic 
And I hope I didn’t wreck it
And that somewhere in your heart
You still have me on start 
And hit go every now and then 
I look up and worship as you say Amen 
To the starshot in my eyes
I almost dropped the disguise
When she asked me which guy I liked 
And my courage almost spiked 
But then I just deflect 
I think she knows though, I suspect
And it was over ten years ago 
Time passes (most people don’t know)
But something’s eternal, something’s ever there
Like the way I know you care 
As we walk the dark path into the grounds
Of the apartment complex and all the sounds
Fall to the silence of our footsteps
I cried that night into my own regret
And it was one of the first few days I started writing again 
In the end something begin 
And I went chasing after Haley’s comet
But someone else is already on it 
So I just wrote this note to say
I still think of you, okay 
Even if it’s though the moonbeams 
And the dresses that are ripped at the seams 
Because they took their cutting scissors to them
Still, I wish I could play you again 

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Childhood Haunts

.Reading time 2 minutes.
There are childhood haunts 
They rise up and grip 
And I am myself when I let the mask slip 
Like Keyz and I playing Freespace
And all the years that went to waste 
Just soaking in the sun 
When I met the man I love I run 
And I don’t know why that is 
Because I’ve always been his 
And if I could only explain to her
What we were 
I think she could understand 
It wasn’t like I had anything planned
I just know what soul speaks 
And I count the years, months and weeks 
Since we’ve last talked
Since you walked 
And the demons sat on the edge of my consciousness 
The doctor said I was “in distress”
But he doesn’t know jack 
And I want my freedom back 
The freedom to feel, to wreak havoc or hell
Without people telling me I’m unwell 
As they submerge what’s only tide
And try to kill what is alive
In me
But I’ll always be 
This girl of colour and plunging dark 
It’s from the night where rises the spark 
And it visits me again and again 
One day it’s a bird, next it’s men 
And then 
I realise I won’t settle 
Thorny as a rose and stinging like a nettle 
But somehow singing like a kettle 
When you put me on boil 
Or is that just what it is to be a Coyle 

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Metaphysical

.Reading time less than 1 minute.

Thank you to whoever bought Metaphysical! If you are on here drop me a comment and let me know what you thought of it – good or bad.

It means so much to me that you guys read my work and enjoy it. That there are actually physical copies going into the hands of people around the world, whether they be my friends and family, or strangers I’ve met through the internet really fills me with appreciation.

So, thank you again ❤️❤️❤️

Oh, and didn’t miss the 11.11 💫

The Bark Of The Tree

.Reading time 1 minute.
How do people get like that, is it believing that the age you are 
Is anything more than revolutions around a star 
And I may be thirty three
But I’ve never been more free
As they put handcuffs on me
And tell me to preserve my dignity 
If I want to shine 
But I’m self effulgent and love is mine 
Though you wouldn’t know it from my visage
Don’t feel bad
It isn’t all your fault 
I kicked you out of the vault 
After letting the key slip into your hand 
And now I demand 
That you break like a wave upon my shore 
If you want me to love you more 
But it’s just like listening to the scene 
She wakes her own dream 
Up from where it lay
And I don’t get a say
About the perforate you opened 
And something is hoping
In what you never were to me 
I take a moment and I just be  

Image Credit: https://pin.it/2URrbXoNy

Gone To Find An Atmosphere

.Reading time 1 minute.
I search my memory for some remnants of pain 
But when I find them it is in vain 
Because they don’t reflect the sky like they used to 
And though I’m superhuman I still bruise too 
And you can see the blue through my translucent skin 
Is it wrong if I say it was because of him
Because he silences my voice, puts a hand over my mouth 
Til I don’t have a choice but to dwell in self doubt
Is this the gaslit anthem or just some season that falls
In the autumn down the halls
Of the ceremony we once were
Now I watch you bow to her
And I won’t stand in competition 
So you say to her the bitch is gone 
I can hear it in your tone
When you talk to me on the phone 
Through clenched teeth
As I try to share the beach
That got me through a sparser climate
But you are an intelligent primate
And you can make your own decision now 
If you break the heart that I allow
To fall into your hands
Is it my fault that slipping sands 
Can’t be stayed by frantic movement 
And when you find the Divine you cannot improve it

Image Credit: https://pin.it/1JZ1UoGyH

The Silent Whisper Of Grace

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I thought God could only ever be found
In the complete absence of sound 
In the silence that descends 
On my room as the riverbends
From lavender to primrose and flame 
And I wake up from my name 
And it all seems so perfect, true
Til I met you
And it all cascaded down
You wanted to run my town 
So you could have a girl in the wings
And, my, you love the way she sings 
But you don’t understand her
And you demand her
To be as you would please
Up on her tiptoes or down on her knees
But neither one will ever be me
So I let you go free
Though I love you with all of my heart
I won’t make pain just to make art
Or love
Or fit like a glove
Into a biological cog
I dream of a fire burning a log
While we lie on the rug before it
And you know I would adore it
A blanket made just for two 
But it never was me and you
We spit fire into each other’s veins
And in the aftermath cleaned up the bloodstains
On the carpet where we fought
It was in darkness that the ring was wrought 
And cascaded into eternity
You asked me to burn with thee 
But I let go that crime 
And am absorbed into the sublime 
And even if they don’t get me here 
It doesn’t mean I’ll run to you dear 
If you make a fool of me 
When I just wanted life school and mystery 
To encompass all we were
I dropped the glass when I saw her
And it broke and shattered on the floor
You don’t even hide that you adore
Another pair of eyes
And my trust in you dies 
Slowly but surely in the awe 
That you could begin the Great Thaw

Image Credit: https://pin.it/3P8G3C9W7

The Sadness That Winds Me

.Reading time 1 minute.
The grief crumples me like a deck of cards
And no one knows how hard
It got in the midst of the night
And I contemplated the death of the light
Coz everywhere I looked it was black
And the dealer stack
Everything against me 
My best friend resents me
And that person that wants to take me down
Looks like she runs this town
As she commands the sea
And turns the whole tide upon me
And as it rushes and consumes 
Something pulls me from those rooms
Into a place I’ve never been
But somehow had already seen
Maybe in a dream or through a past life
And every man looks for a wife
When he reaches a certain age
I just reach for the page
Because the immortal hue
Has stopped shining from you
It’s like you buried it somewhere
When you say that I just don’t care
And it’s impossible to get through to you
So I say goodbye too
As you hang up the phone
Could you just leave me alone?

Image Credit: https://pin.it/7IlOh9HfU

Death And Poetry

.Reading time 1 minute.
Death comes to take everything I love
And I lose the glove 
I wore when I was younger and blue
And it was all I could do to hold onto you
But I had to let you go your own way
Because there’s nothing that I can say
To stem the tide 
Of that which cannot abide
In the tome of fate
I never gave in to hate
But I couldn’t hold the love you carry
And the boy I want to marry
I ran him off
Because I couldn’t pay the cost
That it would require
And now the whole world is on fire
With the hate that burns
As the aching turns 
It on its axis and spin
And once I was with him 
But things change and so did he 
So I let go and now I’m free

Image Credit: https://pin.it/2m8CXZM2n

The Irrepressible Nature Of Our Friendship

.Reading time 2 minutes.
The irrepressible nature of our friendship 
It keeps on coming back
It’s not about all the towers we’ve built 
Or the modicum we lack
Coz I see the stars in shapes and places
See it reverberate on faces
As everything comes shining down 
I’m just up the road now you live in town
And we’re far away
Though we used to play
Together at the edge of fields
Now summertime’s the way it yields
To the storm on the western front
It’s not just the season or the time of the month
It’s in clouds that gather a while
And I risk the thunder to see you smile
An eon away
And I’m glad you stay
Though it terrified me to contemplate
The idea of you in that state
It’s in all my nightmares
And it’s me that it scares
When I wake up in the morning
I look outside and the sky is storming
Would you ever believe
In me carrying less than it all on my sleeve
And you sigh
And say your own kind of goodbye
And I try
To make you see the sun
That shines at the heart of everyone
You disagree
And most of all what you say to me
Has me running like silver thread
Pooled like a mothball in my head
Oh, the mountain of you
Do you think it could be in sight of us two
Where we see the horizon
Smiling now that we’ve got our eyes on
It’s effervescent glow
There is little that I show
But one thing that is there for sure
I’ve never found anything so pure
As you and I
Please don’t die
Til our time, love
I hug you coz you were sent from above 
Like a steady angel to my side
You breathe in and I abide
In the place I’ve almost been
The realm of the unseen
The place no hand can touch
Is where I love you, oh, so much

Photo Credit: https://pin.it/5rlJjfXu8

Our Tale

.Reading time 1 minute.
She’s probably right about me and him
It’s a game I play but cannot win
As I hope for somewhere under a star
He is wondering what we are
But it never shows or comes to fruition
Just carting around some ammunition 
As if we could strike
At all we really don’t like
But love, my love, is patient and kind
It’s present moment, not left behind
And I wonder if the waves are ocean enough
For you to wash your hands of love
That we built, stone by stone
Whether together or all alone
And you stand by the fortress that you made
I say the hero never saved
What we were or could be
And I’m thinking of she
Running her hands down your neck
And doing some things you do not expect
Just to drive you wild
And I’m by the corner, meek and mild
And only tepid beside the heat
Of the furnace of heartbeats
Side by side
Would you even care if I wasn’t alive
But I abide and sit in the still
Let the thunder roll like forests at will
In a strong breeze
I always knew that you would leave
But coming back
Seems like something my memories lack
As you try to explain
But you can’t put back the pouring rain
Once it’s down from the sky
And I didn’t think to make truth a lie
Only find
In the halls of my busy mind
A story to write
I’ll tell our tale, if that’s alright

Image Credit: https://pin.it/2Yik4X571

Looking Back And Looking In

.Reading time 1 minute.
I felt the shards glisten inside of me 
And it was winter witheringly
As I watched the tide recede
With everything that I believe
In and as heretofore
Why is it that the ones we adore
Are the ones who punish us
In lines we cross and broken trust
They try to reign me in
But it’s like a corset and I cannot win
Then I happened upon him
After our meeting on the sly
Far past the place where we both die
By a strike on our homes
And we are both alone
In the darkness and the grass
Moonlight that doesn’t seem to pass
Into the sun
And he is the one
That I know
But he doesn’t like me so
I let it go
And shut him out of my sky
But we both know it is a lie 
Because he is all of my stars
I see them through my prison bars
And the walls may be bricks and mortar
And if I had a quarter
For every time you said you’d be there
I could have found someone who’d really care
But anyway
Leave that with the hay
They raked in the summer weather
And the heather
May induce sleep
But you’re a promise I want to keep 
Deep within my heart and soul
So let the waves roll
And crash upon grains of sand
You will forever hold my hand
In my heart of hearts
It’s in the end the beginning starts

Pinprick

.Reading time 1 minute.
She makes a pinprick to draw blood
Just to see if she could
To see if I’m still real
If I’m alive, if I feel
And it’ll heal
But I remember the shark in her eyes
When she met me that day in the car
So far away from where you are
Looking at your ship go out
Before I was submerged in my own self doubt
As it washes to shore
And I couldn’t have loved you more
But it wasn’t enough
Coz when times got tough
All the pencils failed me and broke
And I could feel my breath start to choke
On the words I spit out at you
Coz you don’t love me too
Or so they say or so she says
Coz she’s familiar with your ways
In real life
I’m just the wife
Who is too close to see
In her eyes that all he wants is me
Submerged in the subterranean wildflower bloom
And I’d know if he was in the room
Coz electricity flows from his pulse
I describe it and she revulse 
At the thought he could shock me awake
I gave it up for your sake

The Cracking Seam

.Reading time 1 minute.
I don’t wanna be your whore
Like she did in the time before
And she’d buy anything you sell
Plies you with whiskey so you might tell
Her you love her so
But there are places you won’t go
Even for a trinket she’d offer
All you want is to suffer
Wholeheartedly
And rather smartly
You hold your hand out to me
We dance and it is free
And I wonder what it feels like to know she’s only there
Because you’re willing to pay your share
Of the coin
But you can’t solder what you want to join
Together in sweet surrender
I know you remember
Coz how could you forget
And it’s there for you yet
If you want to taste the apple that grows on the tree
You know you shouldn’t but you ask me
What it feels like to be
Still young and free
And I say it’s like sleeping outside your door
Waiting for the one you adore
To realise he loves you more
Than his story on the second floor

Capsize

.Reading time 1 minute.
Her love capsized my boat
And do I love the one I quote
As she urges me to get help
But it feels a lot like butter to melt
Near a furnace roar
And I adore
All that made me fail
There is an ocean on which to sail
With flags at full mast
Nothing there that will last
Coz they sell a dream you can’t reach
And all I’ve learned just won’t teach
That which isn’t true
I learned the lie from you
But I won’t go on repeating what’s wrong
An error the basis for the whole song
That you sing in your sleep
But it’s a promise I cannot keep
And I will not just follow the line
That has me servant to the winds of time
Though resistance is just another form
Of hate to keep the body warm
But I keep up with the beat
Issuing from the holy heat
Of a sun to burn
I just sit back and the axis turn
It’s not of my doing
But who am I pursuing
When I reach out to him
And should I let him in
Again, for one more go
I didn’t think it would be real, you know

Light And Life

.Reading time 1 minute.
I have to love the man who saved my life
He took a breath and breathed in the light
And it’s textbook case, wanna be a wife
But I don’t know if that’s alright
Coz he showed me summer
He showed me seasons
He gave me love
I gave him reasons
And we both learned to multiply
And, you know, never say die
As the ache it comes in waves
He’s Superman, it’s days he saves
And I can’t ignite with anyone else
He showed me trauma and mental health
And I showed him strong and how to bear
The music when the fabric tear
And it’s oft the season to be making waves
I’ve written him down on page upon page
But I never come close to really say
He is my love, is that okay
Even if we are miles apart
He made the unquenchable start
Like the Divine made into form
I’m kept ‘neath a coat that is warm
Even on those freezing winter nights
He speaks a word and my heart ignites
To burn enough to keep the dark away
From the place by the trees where we stay

Her Complicity

.Reading time 1 minute.
She was there when you weren’t
I had to get by
On crutches 
So I wouldn’t die
And the battering winds 
Shook the shutters 
Wooden and thin
Til I stumbled upon the dream of him
Somewhere on a reading scene 
It was like something woke the dream
Up from where it was in bed 
I found myself instead
And I had a flame so red 
Looking into my eyes 
But I couldn’t hide the disguise 
That just erupted 
Have I fucked it up
Coz I know I still think of you
And his trail of blue 
How do I decide 
Which one I choose to tell lies 
Like I could be bound in matrimony 
But it just starts to feel a little phoney 
Coz I could never be tied by a ring
That follows me round like a golden string

In The Mists

.Reading time 1 minute.
I took the exit door
And the fallaway floor 
Met me with open arms 
Does it ring any alarms
Or bells within you
Does it resound 
And do you know the sound 
Of home when the wind chimes 
Whisper silver on the rhymes 
That just come to you
And it’s not because I wanted to
That I write 
Put pen to paper and, alright,
There is an acquiescence
But it’s not the essence 
Of what I need to know 
It asks me so I let it flow 
Into words and ink
A digital way to think
Of who you are 
And every star
Burns with the same fusion
We call it light but the delusion 
Is that we know what exists 
But it’s all just time and space in the mists

Conflicting Emotions

.Reading time 1 minute.
I love her but she stifles my pain
If you’re cold do you stand out in the rain
Just so you can get wet
There are moments I never forget
Of agony and torment
I don’t know where the power went
That used to flow in my veins 
Now it’s all tears and soaking bloodstains 
On the sheet of my bed
Do you think you could just marry me instead 
I say to the sky
In the guise of some guy
Throwing shapes at me
Is this what it means to be free 
Coz my body changed 
The atoms rearranged
With the meds I take 
I feel like a cake
About to bake
And it’s for who’s sake 
As I fight with her
Silently but it’s not for
Any reason that will do me good 
For she burned down the whole wood 
Then put the matches in my hand 
Told me to trace my heart in sand 
As the ocean encroaches 
I dunno but I didn’t vote for this

Caves And Close Shaves

.Reading time 1 minute.
I’m burning down the house I made in my mind
Leave that old cave behind
The one I used to spit and moan
And mainly just feel all alone
Coz they inoculate shame
And call you by your first name
When they want you to back down
Or go ahead and drown
In the ocean that submerge
Don’t you know it’s just a word
They used to categorise 
You so that you’re something in their eyes
And maybe they steal
But they can’t take what is real
No matter how hard they try
And I know that we all die
But I can’t stay under this roof
Where’s your evidence, where’s your proof
That I was ever anything other
Than a cloud that would smother
You with a hot heat
Thick and heavy as defeat

Top Of The Rock

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Am I gonna die if I feel this feeling
Coz I hear a voice screaming in my head
And one day I’m scared I’m gonna wake up dead
Travelling through a vortex through open space 
Why do I keep seeing his face 
And that window in my apartment on floor five
How the hell am I still alive
When all around me has withered 
And the demons veritably slithered 
Down the garden path on the way to Eden
When Eve steps on their heads is it just that she doesn’t see them
And where is Adam in all of this
Is he just lost in his first kiss
With the bride of his dreams 
Is nothing as it may seem
Coz is God the overlord
Or is he simply the spoken Word
That turns Spirit into flesh
Made the sexes and all the rest
All the animals and all the birds
All the potential in the unheard 
And in the night do you hear the call
It was a freefall 
That year I committed myself to you
It’s 2012 and I’m walking through
The doors of my mind back to you then
In all of this did I lose a friend 
Somewhere in the aftermath
And I’m not scared of wrath
By some deity
Telling me that it hates me 
In the world of the hologram 
If there is a plan 
It must be Love
Coz without It what is the above
But a sanctity we fear
I’m running with wolves and near
To the free wind
To love versus to have sinned 
Coz you’re about as bad as they get
But I can bring myself to regret 
Our cataclysm 
Is it time to heal the Great Schism

The Light In His Eyes

.Reading time 1 minute.
I’m emo cool
Well I was in school
Though I was in the closet
Coz it wasn’t the norm was it
Til I met that guy
And, man, I could fly
With the joy of knowing such a soul
It will stay with me as I grow old
And the body will wither and die
But it can never take the blue of his eye
That catches the light from mine
In ‘00’s parlance, he was fine
Though he doesn’t know it
And, man, I throw it 
Like a wine or match
And my roof of thatch
Is burning up a storm
And we could keep each other warm
Not in a sex kind of way
But in the profundity that’s in what he say
And I count lucky stars
That prison bars 
Buckled and fell
And I wish him well
With the girl that he knows
But with me it’s anything goes 
And this love will last a life
Metaphorical man and wife
Even if we never get to be
The ocean is just the sea
By another name and form
I met you and I was born

The First Kiss

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
The love pulses in my veins
And I can’t get enough of refrains
Even as it causes me pain
I do it again and again and again
I love too much to be let go
I love you and I hope you know
Coz it burns like a holy fire
It hurts but it takes me higher
Could this be the Spirit nothing can contain
Like clouds fail to hold the rain
When they are too full and heavy
And I was born ready
Ready for this
Could forever be my first kiss

Paddy’s Eyes

.Reading time 1 minute.
Paddy’s eyes were like stone opals 
And I wonder how he is
Did he get his woman
Did he get his wish
Coz for a while he was mine
And I can see the sparkles shine 
As they encase his face 
Not one hair was out of place 
And he had that devilish grin
And a personality that would win
You over with a smile 
I keep it on file
But the memories fade
And the bodies age 
Do you still have facial hair
And a presence that is just there
And we crossed paths in Spiral Tree
I caught you stare at me
As I wait by the bar
Oh, if I could only know what you are 
Coz you escape definition
And the early edition
Of the Longford Leader
(If you took time to read her)
Announces our notice true
What would my life look like with you
By my side, coz you’re in my heart
I watch the comet turn an arc
And come back to flame
Is it okay I used your name?

Love The Sun

.Reading time 1 minute.
The diary of me
Is something you’ll never see
Cos you scribbled on the page
And hit me with your rage
Fed me slowly piece by piece
To the war I cannot make cease
And she strides in with her tide
Tells me I’m alive
And what she would do to make it more so
But I just want her to let it go
Coz it’s brutality 
Though she never see
Exactly what she does to me 
In the name of love
Or at least the kind she’s thinking of 
Obedient to a fault
And I got locked inside the vault
With only T for company
And they expect me to abandon at a flaw
The heat that made the ice thaw
In the winter of my life
I love the sun, I hope that’s alright

A Sea That Is Whole

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
There’s a heavy weight that hangs between us
Like the bow of a ship about to turn
And we’re living in a world
That burn and burn and burn
As we’re watching with our candlelight
Hoping everything will be alright 
But the torrent is air
And we don’t have a prayer
Against these heavy winds
Let him throw the first stone
He who has not sinned
Coz in this Paradise
It’s not enough to merely be nice
You have to be true
That’s why I’m talking to all of you
And singing my soul
The dream to be
A sea that is whole

Effortless

.Reading time 1 minute.
I guess I was wrong
I was so hypocritical 
I never stood up for you
Antithetical
And the movement was counter
To the culture you know
So GAA in your face 
To hammer the blow
Home like you never knew   
But I loved you
And your depression reeks
Of the mountain you never speak
And I know you have something
In you to say
I can feel it when 
You look at me that way
And the colours are shining
And you’re full of pride
There’s a part of my life
That I always hide
From the well wishers from walls
Sick of getting these cold calls
From a foreign air
It’s as though I’m about to go spare
Running a race I’ll never win
If I agree will you let me in
But is that just bad form
When there’s a part of my heart warm
From the joy of just meeting you
I went along with it coz you wanted me to

Motionary

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Is it that there’s too much to say
Or not enough 
Coz you’ve got to know
I’ve always cared for you, love
And there’s a distance between us
Or a depth we can’t dive
We breathe in the air
Just to survive
And the cogs they turn
In the wheels of our life
It’s like a winter’s morning
With a new bite
In the air 
That you can just taste
Oh, what in the world 
Did you create?

Composition

.Reading time 1 minute.
Staying up all night writing rhymes
Just get a damn job
But I’ve got inspired
And I would only rob
Future generations of all their freedom
I know this is good but will anyone see them
To be Amadeus out on the line
I’ve got to get it down like the thousandth time
As it rattles in my head like an old guitar
I scribble my life down at the bar
As the summer is storming and the winter is cold
And I’ve got global warming to face as I grow old 
And we’re all just sheets of paper from the end
But we’ve got our lives left to pretend
That we’re not these vessels and we can’t contain 
An ocean’s worth of indefatigable pain
As I see in you what I feel in me
We’ve both got our roots in Eternity

A Race I Can’t Pursue

.Reading time 1 minute.
Trying to keep up to a race I can’t pursue 
It’s like trying to win the attention of you
And you just turn away, a shoulder to glance
And I am there begging for another chance
To be who I am in your company
But you know we’re just friends, it’s not eternity
And I promised you silver and I promised you gold
Promised together in the growing old
But now it’s as though a chasm has opened
Do you hear me at all or am I just hoping
As I see you though the gaps in my hands
Fingers clasped over eyes that understand 
The motion of trees
That we wouldn’t work, would you believe
In all that turns out to be true
If you rely on the weather, it just changes you
And I can’t cut the grass on the field that you own
Can’t win me over once the game is thrown
Into the midnight and out with the day
I’m kind of conflicted about us, okay?

The Golden Hearse

.Reading time 1 minute.
The axe chopped down the tree
And, the wood, it was me
As I fell from on high
Hard, for some guy
And he brushes me off
But I sense a depth
I get the feeling
He regrets
Letting us go
But, then again, what do I know
And I used to blaze a trail
Til I found his and without fail
I used to follow, breadcrumb sweet
The pebbles led me to where we meet
But there is no way back
And I didn’t mean to attack
I was just vociferously 
Defending the best of me
As you tried to tear me down
But you didn’t see the crown
On the king
The bird can fly with a broken wing
But it’s stuttered and weak
You kind of leave me speechless and meek
As you gently assume the worst
The best dress to the golden hearse

Remember Me, Love

.Reading time 1 minute.
Remember me, love
As I lie in wait
I sit on the bed
And think of a date 
I once had with you
I was one of the few
To walk in that open door
Would you like to see the shore
That laps the waves
And all the lost boys it saves
And Barry made a joke of me
But he was hella cute
Even if he did play the flute
And I’m looking at Hozier
On a magazine
Thinking he might just be the dream
Some Andrew Byrne with height
I bet we’d never fight
Only do things 
He dare not speak
Lest I see where he’s weak
And now I have the freedom
To be encased
Do you remember 
The first time our hearts raced
As we sat side by side
Just bristling with the feeling
Of being alive
And you zing with magic
Some electric touch
And I know I’m someone 
You’d like to rush
Into something unseen
I’m just part of the dream
On your screen
No solipsis, just the Queen
To put a crown on your head
And there are mornings
We could wake up dead
But, so far, we’re good
No Snow White in the wood
Just a single dancing elf
That asks you to just be yourself
When you move with me
It’s priceless, baby, but its free

The Age Of Him

.Reading time 1 minute.
Cruising at 35,000 feet
I’m on the ground, I can’t stand the heat
As it’s burning through my clothes and skin
The rage, the page, the age of him
As he’s darkly circumspect
And I’m the weakness you know best
As you ruminate your heel
I know the ways you cannot deal
In singing songs and infidelities 
In formation like a flock of geese
And I’m weary at the knees
Trying my best to please
But you just turn your head
No empty space in your bed
But someone else instead
I think the trauma’s going to my head
As you ashen faced tell me the truth
I drop the pillars of our youth
And they fall asunder
Did you know death had your number
When he rang your phone
Now I am all alone
And won’t come to your door
Because I couldn’t want you more
But you left me like a sleep
Like I’m a problem you can’t keep
Close to your chest 
Does your lover know you best
And is it her or me
I don’t know, I’ve got to see

The Age of the Airbender

.Reading time 1 minute.
Do you see yourself in my refractions
And are these words more than transactions
Coz I can’t spell out what we seem to be
And it’s been years that you’ve blamed me
For something that is not my fault
Like pulling tracks from the vault 
Like you’re a songstress with a pen
And I land at your door once again
With a bouquet of apologies
If you want I’ll ask from my knees
Coz you are age old and awesome
You’re a kaleidoscope 
And it’s a slippery slope
Back into what we always were
It’s always my name next to her
And it’s not all roses in this flower bed
But I’m still a place you can rest your head
And lean on if you need strength
And I return the books you rent
Coz you loaned them to me
And you are my degree set free
In moderation, that is key
As we peer through our history
The faint light we used to be
Is now a river running free
Cause there are oceans calling us
And you’re a love that I trust
To always come back around
You be silence in the sound

See Me Through

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Poetry prompt - see me through
The window is anything but you
As we stare across the plain
And I won’t play this again
Like a solo on a guitar
I’m not gonna know what you are
By staring at a screen 
It’s just pulling me deeper into the dream
That ineffable maya
And God loves a trya’ 
But I can’t keep banging my head against a wall 
When you just share it all
With friends 
And this love never ends 
Like the story and the flight 
That we take to be alright

Marriage Proposals

.Reading time 3 minutes.
I got my last marriage proposal during MCR
While I was dancing just missing her 
And a guy got down on one knee 
It wasn’t timing, it was just destiny 
And Gerard Way was giving it socks 
A year before Ken undid all the locks 
And we’re dancing to the groove
You’re covered in mud watching me move 
And I say gee shucks 
And we both give all the fucks 
In the world in that moment held 
Seventeen and in the Veld 
As we both let the music just carry
Us to the meaning of marry 
And, now, cut to the scene 
Have the past million years been just a dream 
And I know it was a joke 
In the years before woke 
Culture took the lead
And society screams the way we bleed 
In the teen years of forever 
And it’s just a step above never never
And before the banking suit
But I cut and run and he’s still a flute 
That just drinks its own flavor in
And I guess I am taken with him
From now until the end of time 
An alchemy I thought I’d left behind 
In the young years before twenty four 
Took more from me than I can adore 
And I’m all for making the best of things 
But they sort of clipped my wings 
As they held me in a cell 
In all but name and with a bell
By the bed in case I need 
A nurse to recite the creed
That I live by now 
It’s rote learned and it makes me bow 
Like a weeping willow to the floor
And it just makes me think of you more
And wonder if you think I’m crazy
And I just call you baby
In my mind when they shut the doors 
Locked them and what’s more 
Tell me that I can’t leave 
And what I’m supposed to believe 
Like a mannequin 
With puppet strings, where do I begin 
To tell the story of a desert town
And the thought of that gown 
Hanging in my wardrobe unworn
Is like the vow we’ve never sworn
To each other haze
Looking our for someone to save
Me from this maze
But it’s just the end of days
Every morning that you wake up
To begin is to end the love
Coz what Is always is
And if we meet does that mean I’m His? 
Or is it just a summer spin
Here’s the sound of me letting you in