The forest child in me Is longing for the rivers to let her go free As I take refuge on the beach That someone thought to teach Me was there And I’m so grateful and I care About what will happen to this next generation Will it be beyond an education As I meditate And something puts me in another state Where I can fly And I am not afraid to die Into incandescent blue Just because you Clutch onto fear Doesn’t meant that love is not near Ready to abide And something in me hide Away this secret deathless realm From the people who would submerge the helm Like the girl with the degree In deciding what to do with me When I confess That everything in that red dress Always felt the same And she knows my name But she doesn’t get my soul If I told her each wave roll Would she understand And I decide to forgive my man
I don’t know what we were But I know I don’t wanna fight with her But I feel her get my back up When I offer her love And she slaps my hand Like the hourglass isn’t pouring sand And all of us into the ocean Why are you afraid to show emotion Is it just me Or is it the dragon that was set free Two decades ago And somewhere amidst the snow The annals of us are preserved I try to keep my cool but I am unnerved By the sheer lack of the sea In the meadows that lap against me And I can’t make it better and I can’t mend What she never broke but doesn’t intend To rectify There is a part of us that can never die And a part that does day by day I wonder why she is that way And the reason seems clear But she doesn’t know how I hold her dear And is it my lot to be unknown And only have my true colours shown When a stranger just walks into my days And tells me I’m free in so many ways And he thinks I hate him, I can hear him sigh But the mists move the mountains and I cry Out with the fear of it But he’s alcohol and I take a sip And find myself head of heels Like I’m lost on instagram reels Just trying to find my source I am not a child of divorce But I know the fracture when the world splits Or the chasm that opens when death hits You hard in the gut And someone you love things you’re in a rut But I would never leave the flowerbed Above the grave that marks your head So I’ll just let you know That I was not born to let go
I edit the muse Because I feel the ruse Is too obvious to everyone around So quiet as a mouse I don’t make a sound Til it implodes And everyone goads Me til a break in my mental health Is the cards that I am dealt I smile into the sun And I look for the one Meanwhile, on the run I end what was never begun And I look to him for salvation He hasn’t got any I thought he had the truth But it’s just one of the many And something he spouts To eschew his self doubt I look within And I find a power greater than him Deep in my soul He could make all the waves roll But he can’t command the sea Or make a woman out of me Just coz he’s a man He kicks the can Down the road And the car slowed To see what he was doing I’m no girl for the pursuing So I let it go I’m not sure if he ever got it though
I was trapped in a chasm of my own making And there’s no telling what you’re forsaking When you let the riverbed run itself And label me with poor mental health For daring to see the truth of the matter It’s about facing your demons or calling me a mad hatter And Power is thin and lost I get the sense he paid the cost For his education And now his profession is elimination Of anything like a shoot of green But he doesn’t see the roots in between The folds of soil He tells me who I am and my blood starts to boil Psychosis or manic depression But it is my confession That I have never known an altered state In anything except the boy that I date On the sly And it’s all getting by In the rocky shore Could you not close the door When I let you in Because you are not him And I need to be open to The water that is flowing through
It’s as though as I’ve been infantilised So that I can become human in their eyes And it’s not like me at all It doesn’t fit the brick wall That was erected In the space her love deflected Like it was a poison drink And I feel myself begin to sink In the grand abyss And my old self is something that I miss When young and seventeen I could manage the dream Just fine Til calamity became mine As his darkness spread a sea Over the blanket that had become of me Like clouds keeping the earth warm Eventually the break into a storm That fosters the people in their solemn grin And they say that sex is sin But they all do it anyway So I push that characterisation away Because if we go by generations past The pain will everlast Into the future And no suture Can heal the gauzy wound I watched the winds of doom Close in around that sea And they call it sacred warfare and indignity Seems to be the order of the day But I do not look away From the images that perforate The screen that masks the dark of hate That propels people into motion And suddenly I am floating Above it all And the call Pummels my door So I answer it, and what’s more I let it take me somewhere new I’m giving it up for them and I’m giving it up for you
The mess I’ve made Trying to avoid the shade Of the tree That seemed to grow up over me While I was asleep And the problem keep For another day I don’t want it to get in the way Of what I am And I have no plan But I contemplate Every single offered date That makes a mark on the calendar And people would do well to remember That the sun slants shadows on the wall But they’re not really there at all There are merely cast by something that’s in the way And the people say I’ve errant desire But I never tire Of showing them what I mean Something woke the dream And now I see It was never up to me It was always the great expanse And the power to watch the leaves dance
If I don’t write it now I never will Why does our skill In that department go unrewarded Like an email that remains unforwarded And we conform to all kinds of stereotype When we step out of bounds it really isn’t nice As we’re met with the lashings of society Come on now, it can’t be just me Because to be female means meek and compliant Not subject to feelings that are violent And rude and loud and unfettered In an avenue that cannot be bettered And there is so little discourse so I take to the web To find out what I’m missing instead But all this passion in the astral plane May be in vain If I cannot make real All the beauty that I feel In our encounter as we roll the dice And I am so much more than nice When it comes to red and blue Cold meets warm and me and you In the winter of my life I found something beyond the strife And I may never be a wife But I’m letting go the night As the only place to share I step forward and I dare To break the silent vow That we all follow somehow In case we would betray Ourselves and what we’ve put away For safe keeping But I amn’t sleeping When I cover the sin The simple joy of me and him
I know that he and I Will always be one here, we will never die Like all bodies are destined to But I found heaven in you And it’s something that cannot be taken away Not even when comes the day That the great forgive must let us go As we travel into mists we do not know But I was bought and sold The moment I saw solid gold Shine from his eyes And I know though he tries He cannot separate Me from the place where we equate Everything we ever were To the trust he found in her And in us It’s not just lust It is a spiralling spark That shines even brighter in the dark So much so that I wish for my old days When I was lost in so many ways And the balance I’ve found And the solid ground Only distances the despair I loved because you were there
The canyon always called to me The vast open space a rhythm to be set free And I see people fall in the miles of my imagination As they stand on the edge of the station Taking selfies in the light And Marge says they’re just not right Because there is a death toll But somehow I found my soul Overlooking the vast red rock Spelling out all that I am not I couldn’t stop staring And there was all that preparing For what I’m facing into And I just thought of you And how your soul looked the same As the ocean I cannot name That pulses inside of me There was a part of me that was set free The moment you chose to come close And you look as white as a ghost And thin and on edge But I would like to be there instead Of the absence that you know And you have her and you Have me I didn’t mean to set you free I just couldn’t stay by the shore Hoping for something more To be revealed And then it stealed Into what I am You were never part of the plan But you’re a welcome adjunct And I feel like I’ve been on punkd! To think I could find a soul That matches the way that my waves roll I never thought I would discover The arms of such a lover
They can’t bring me down Not with their hospital gown You know the one that I wear When the fabric tear On my suit And I must be the proof Of what I want to hear Must I hold dear The days in subterfuge When everything’s the colour rouge On the page The shade of rage That pulls apart the sun And you know the one Is made to beat a heart Tearing all the stars apart In the firmament where they lie I am not afraid to die But to be caught In a place where my spirit’s bought By all and sundry And it’s quite the quandary To be lilt bound around the halls Of a place that is all walls In brick and stone I hear the ancients scream “leave me alone” As behind the barrier some horrors are contained I feel it in the pain That emanate From the people in that state And there are souls that walk the corridor Down to the art room on the first floor And there’s no way to say That it isn’t me, okay Because when I speak of vision They meet me with derision And false grandiosity It must be my animosity Reaching out to take a bite Of my own kryptonite Does that mean I’m Clark Kent Or the space where the hero went
The one good thing about hell Was that Stephen wished me well And could see the light underneath The ghost with the sheet Around her head (You know the one I got from the bed) In the place with no name Because the memory brings shame Upon my family So I’m not allowed to mention it, we Did it, it was a collective decision And I risk their derision If I reveal That I feel Just fine About my time In St. Pat’s mental institution It was some kind of a convolution In my degree Why does life have me down on one knee Proposing to a saint In the colour of blood that I paint As it runs down the frame Of the place that brought me pain
Creating my own version of hell Just to wish you well And appease the masses Coz the girl’s got classes That she takes on being herself And you could say that her wealth Hinges on being all that she is not And if you try to help a lot It will backfire Because she tire Of female dreams When you pull the fabric at the seams And enter into a plausible affair With someone that isn’t even there And her sister bites And ignites Passion she doesn’t know how to wear As she complains it isn’t fair And resigns herself to a fate She’s not even allowed to hate Coz that could constitute a sin A conflagration that’s within But I burn With every axis turn And understand how the devil might feel To be told that nothing is real And his existence is naught But a way to keep people caught God is everything He’s in every broken wing And in every fallen star There’s no way to escape what you are Even if you turn away The Truth will have the final say
It whispers “go back into your cave” Because there are people to save And I can’t do it being thin Or just kicking the can with him Til my day arises And everything is full of suprises Most of them bad as hell As people wish you well Then stab you in the back Smile right before they attack I gave my heart to her And she shattered everything we were And I won’t go into details but She was the bridge my fever cut Like a knife right through the grass And the man just wants ass To smack so he can be the king He laughed at me so I took a swing And knocked his block right off Then Susanna got a cough And it was open season I ran and ran without reason I got lost in the ocean I swam in a sea of emotion And tried to get away From the grand sway As it unleashes hell on me To be the dragon set free Like some Chinese proclamation As they worship my exclamation Of wonder in the winsome lost I speak because I am the boss
I can feel the brimming thunder In the sky we’re living under And the people I railed against Were the ones who were heaven sent And just wanted to aid and abet Me in the mission to forget All that had come to weigh me down So I walked around the town Looking at signs I was trying to diamond mine Searching for a holy gem And I did it once, twice, again And somehow the men Never hurt me The danger seemed to just skirt me By degrees Til I fell to my knees And begged the wonder out thieves Help to steal away all that I believe And they were only too happy to comply And I thought I would die Under the weight of their heavy handed slap I crumpled up the map And took a picture in the garden of Dean Swift So looking back would be a gift But I could only see clarity Not the mental illness they made of me Searching for some hidden pain Well I looked again and again But I could never find Evidence that I was out of my mind For seeing love in every shape and form And loving bodies while they’re warm And vital and young and free Shit, is that guy staring at me But anyway I’m letting sleeping dogs lie Let go of the merely getting by On what I think I know My sisters on the branch they bow In the aching powder they blow Into my face like I’m in the know And I’m annexed into a space Where I only see your face Smiling at me I was out the door when they set me free
Always and forever in bubblegum pop I will always be something that you are not And strive to reach But something they cannot teach Is that you are what you are And everyone burns like a star Til its collapse into a black hole The light returns to its soul Somewhere in the deep In a universe where you cannot speak Of the secrets they utter And the shutter Flies shut on the window As I see her with him, though And drop out of the sky Because some people want to die When they see their lover With another But all I feel is gratitude That she holds the heart of that dude And keeps him warm Because every storm Crashes upon my shore And everything means something more Than it’s first inception And your deflection Does nothing to dim The weight of worlds I am to him I see it in his eyes And that never dies Once it is born So forlorn Though so replete The lady washed the man’s feet With her hair I know because I was there
I have to love the man who saved my life He took a breath and breathed in the light And it’s textbook case, wanna be a wife But I don’t know if that’s alright Coz he showed me summer He showed me seasons He gave me love I gave him reasons And we both learned to multiply And, you know, never say die As the ache it comes in waves He’s Superman, it’s days he saves And I can’t ignite with anyone else He showed me trauma and mental health And I showed him strong and how to bear The music when the fabric tear And it’s oft the season to be making waves I’ve written him down on page upon page But I never come close to really say He is my love, is that okay Even if we are miles apart He made the unquenchable start Like the Divine made into form I’m kept ‘neath a coat that is warm Even on those freezing winter nights He speaks a word and my heart ignites To burn enough to keep the dark away From the place by the trees where we stay
I can feel the panic on each TV station The madness and the conflagration As they all compete to get heard But do you hear the bird Diamond cheep with the air Beneath its wings as it flies in there And it’s everywhere that is sky I don’t think they mean to lie But it’s like an endless repetition Trying to get the first edition Of tomorrow before the dawn Where has the present moment gone? If it’s like a competition And you’re fighting but you’re a Christian Do you think the love of God means that? And I see my own war as I balk at what they’re at Am I any different in truth? Have I lived the promise of my youth Or do I just see an enemy Trying to get the best of me Where did brotherhood go Or being a sister in the know I think the silence will tell All of the secrets they keep so well But I see it in myself It starts with you now the cards have been dealt And it’s up to the sunlight to show the dawn I know it might be hidden but it isn’t gone The peace beneath the waves The ground under what is paved Do you know who you are? Or do you just make a black hole out of a star? As the constellations show their age Light years away from the war we wage Do you think it means aught to the sky We’re born, we live and then we die What is permanent Could you say the Truth is an event? Or is it more like a scene That wakes as we live the dream Thinking it’s our own creation The defeat and the elation Just polarities And does it matter who disagrees If we’ve invested thought With the rhythm of the schism we’ve bought But are you caught Let go and become all that you’ve sought And when the night arrives Be content with what survives Each and every dusk I let go the weight and I just trust
Trying to save spare change For the ways I’ll never rearrange The match of the beat as I tap my toe I never would’ve wanted you to go But you sailed to a foreign shore And you know I just wanted you more To be the one that I adore Though you don’t know what it’s for And angels are looking overhead Soaking away all the dread As I begin to trust myself instead I wonder sometimes if you’re wed Or taken in some way or other See me as a friend or a brother And I just want you hand in hand Pouring into life like sand And if I ever got you close You would see I’m not a ghost To haunt and terrify Or sell you stories on the sly Just be honest, open and true Admit that I love you, too
Running in the forest like a scared little girl What would happen if the world Just stopped spinning where it is And why am I His For so long Without any rotary blade To put the sun in the shade Of all that you know so well Is the earth going to hell In a hand basket And if it is does it wonder why we don’t ask it What it needs And the people bleed In a foreign land As we all wait on tenderhooks Suspicious of what they might take Looks that worry about the quake That seems to be shaking the superstructure And it’s a wonder something doesn’t rupture In the facade What if there’s no good or bad Only the Ultimate seeking to express itself Souls oblivious to the wealth They hold inside Oh, what a time to be alive!
I don’t want to let go of the feeling Because it means I must let go of you And I don’t want to They all teased us about each other But sometimes you were like the brother I never had And it makes me sad To think that I Must wait until I die To see your visage again I should’ve told you I could talk with pen And write a sonnet for you Is moving on the same as pulling through Coz he threw those words at me But he simply doesn’t see That life takes care of life And somebody’s wife Or somebody’s son Is warm with the waves that come from the sun Pure photon light Balancing between here and alright And must I escape A hero in a red cape Comes to save the day But he can’t bring back what’s gone away And what would you say About things like that Love is not something that you lack But something that pours through Right now I’m starring in a role and you Have dissipated Have I ever hated Life so much To vanish what was warm to the touch And sincere and honest They talk about Heaven but I wouldn’t count on it To save the day We are born to go away And must make hay In the sun we know Tell me what to do, a stór, the show Must go on But how do I love with you gone How do I let a man into my heart When it’s been broken and the part I crave the most Is with the Father, Son and Holy Ghost
Paddy’s eyes were like stone opals And I wonder how he is Did he get his woman Did he get his wish Coz for a while he was mine And I can see the sparkles shine As they encase his face Not one hair was out of place And he had that devilish grin And a personality that would win You over with a smile I keep it on file But the memories fade And the bodies age Do you still have facial hair And a presence that is just there And we crossed paths in Spiral Tree I caught you stare at me As I wait by the bar Oh, if I could only know what you are Coz you escape definition And the early edition Of the Longford Leader (If you took time to read her) Announces our notice true What would my life look like with you By my side, coz you’re in my heart I watch the comet turn an arc And come back to flame Is it okay I used your name?
I keep going to the past To find something that last But the present moment is now And I give in to bow And kneel at the sight of it And I love your wit And you are perfect grey It’s soft and soul, okay Not dry and dead and flat as hell But luxurious and I wish you well As you live your life with her And I don’t know what we were If not Juliet on a balcony And you serenading me With the song of the day I followed your feed, is that okay And catalogued the flaws And the way the ice thaws Around your hidden hinge The thought of it makes me cringe As you, on the phone, lay me bare And make it clear you really don’t care About who I am or who I be But one day I swear you’ll see And regret the moment that you Said that this was through
What is God if not a man And I can’t seem to understand The love I feel When the mountain kneel At the foot of you I want you too It’s not one sided at all I’m standing behind the waterfall As it shields the shimmer And I think we’re onto a winner As you laugh and mess my hair I remember coz I was there And I was so much younger then But so we’re you and again I play the tune that resonates Could we call the Ball our dates As the Vengaboys play And Liosa is not okay So I exit the crowd with her And I was loving what we were As you followed us out And all of my self doubt Falls at the sight of your grasp On all that is made to last
He clicked unlock and the case sprang open To hell with all of my hoping As I try to run the dial But I would die just to see you smile And you stutter the flame And I see your name In my email inbox And I try to explain all I am not Are you interested, coz you’re older than me But you’re equally free And almost as cool Which guy were you in school Somewhere in a foreign land With heritage I’m sorry I ghosted Your Facebook page But I couldn’t hang on anymore But I rest my head against the door Coz I can hear your music play In between what you say And I watch the light dance in your eyes You laugh like there’s no disguise That could ever hide this from me I just hope that you see Everything that we are He makes a joke, I see a star
On sidelines in the winter The cold pierces my soul And what are waves to do But roll and roll and roll As I stand by the shore What do you adore When pain is at home And wherever you roam You will find All that you have left behind In secrets and in sudden starts The beauty that his love imparts
They could put me up on a cross And all would not be lost They could drive me down the alley And I would still walk in the valley Of the shadow of death And I would not fear yet For the Lord would be by my side And I would abide As I always am Moving in space without a plan And the heat of the fire is a furnace blast But something’s healed within the cast The broken bone And the heart of solid stone Cracks at the sound of the light I love my Jesus, alright And would follow that soul, that man, that being In the waves of ocean that he’s freeing And all the sheep Are like people that we keep Safe from harm I panicked and he stayed calm As the water raged I took a leaf out of his page When he held out his hand And said you will be grand If only you trust I shake and quake but I must Go palm to palm At first the audience and then the psalm To leave my spirit ringing Tell me what else should I be singing
Her pain is a mountain That I can’t scale Like many on Everest I’m born to fail But I keep coming back To her heavenly light Whispers in the morning You’ll be alright And we grow up Dust ourselves off But we’ve still got That persistent cough That hints at something Underneath She lowers a blow Knocks me off my feet And I know She don’t mean it But did I Dream it That we once were something true Until I disappointed you By being myself In a garden of verdant wealth All to blossom and free Sorry but, babe, you’re gnawing at me
Is my longing for Dublin just coz you’re in it I’m on the decks and it’s the way that you spin it And there are buildings scraping the sky And a civilization threatening to die And I walked the yards into the green I was ashamed of what I had been In midnights and the dawn I searched for something but it was gone A pyramid scheme Til the suffering woke the dream Up from where it had been sleeping Now it’s just the promise I’m keeping As I pray to a God without belief And the moment of relief When all and sundry falls away Some have called it the break of day But it’s the dark The dead of night in the park Just staring at walls Hoping for a free for all But I got a cell and a bed to lay Could I have had it any other way?
Remember me, love As I lie in wait I sit on the bed And think of a date I once had with you I was one of the few To walk in that open door Would you like to see the shore That laps the waves And all the lost boys it saves And Barry made a joke of me But he was hella cute Even if he did play the flute And I’m looking at Hozier On a magazine Thinking he might just be the dream Some Andrew Byrne with height I bet we’d never fight Only do things He dare not speak Lest I see where he’s weak And now I have the freedom To be encased Do you remember The first time our hearts raced As we sat side by side Just bristling with the feeling Of being alive And you zing with magic Some electric touch And I know I’m someone You’d like to rush Into something unseen I’m just part of the dream On your screen No solipsis, just the Queen To put a crown on your head And there are mornings We could wake up dead But, so far, we’re good No Snow White in the wood Just a single dancing elf That asks you to just be yourself When you move with me It’s priceless, baby, but its free
I miss you and it’s been twenty years And it’s been quite a few since I cried tears But I remember standing with you In the morning dew Looking out on the fields With nothing to do Or seeing you gaze At my eyeline As I video recorded The light that you shine Now you’re just a photograph Paper thin Is there anything more Than the memory of him To stand on stilts So tall They say time washes away Like a waterfall But I would never want to forget And I remember you yet Me, so small and hardy You the simple net That would catch me when I trip I love you still and that is it Nothing more, nothing less And I know I don’t need to stress About the small things And spirit has wings To take it to the sky It’s just I wish you didn’t have to die I wish I could still hold your hand Have you say that all is grand And that you love me so deep I love you Granda and that’s a promise I’ll keep
His name is Fin and he is flying He gets my mind off thoughts of dying As everything is in decay And I’m always wondering who made it that way Coz if there’s a good God Surely he wouldn’t lead with the rod And I’m biting my nails and looking away But I’m waiting to see what he’ll say As the embodiment of Adiyogi I hope he’ll like me if he knows me And I’ve got this barrier, this cocaine wall But it doesn’t help me to stand tall So I show him where there’s a gap Give him out a detailed map So he can find his way to me And hopefully I’ll someday see What life is like to hold a hand To believe in truth and love a man
He’s full on emo And he’s got my heart I didn’t give it to him He just took a part And stole away Into the night He says it’s cool And I’ll be alright But I’m here listening to Dashboard Confessional and you Are some other where With some other girl While I turned inside out And upside down my world And he just smiled It’s like the lightning crack He just sighed And doesn’t want me back But he paints daydreams In my delusions I’m all psyduck In my own confusion As I try to get close But it’s like trying to catch a frightened ghost As he comes near and then far away And I’m at a loss for what to say Coz he is perfect He’s pristine I’m living the teenage dream At thirty one He still burns like the sun And I feel the heat from over here Is it okay if I call you dear Coz you’re cute and fine And fuckin lovely You rain the showers of clouds That wait above me And I’m here listening to Something Corporate Coz you think it is important And I had earmarked Each page that you wrote I wore down your facebook With all that I quote And it’s ancient with the life You took out west with a new bite And I just smile at my own defiance And you’re all self reliance That can get by by yourself Do you think I could add to your wealth By shoving a note under your door Goodbye means I love you more As I hold back the knot of fist That wishes to tell you I exist But you’ve got a chick And I bet she’s cool I’m yesterday And follow rules So don’t be mad Don’t hate me either Just be glad We swam through the ether And found each other One day on the grass For me at least The feeling last And if you’re truly Down with the kids Could you explain The moment that is As I sigh a grey September Your breath is something I remember So cool and real and hip and dude The beauty that you exude Without even trying And you know I would be lying If I didn’t say Hook, line and sinker I’m more a daydreamer Than a thinker And I always wish for you But I don’t know what I can do To catch what’s mid air The moment is high but I’m there And then come back down to earth I didn’t mean to hurt Your precious and sincere I’m just writing this To say I love you, dear
Oh, the weather brought in Stephen And I was weary with all of the leaving Behind that I had done Searching for the only one And they say that awakening can land You in a state where you’re under command And out of the control you think you know There’s nowhere it leads that I will not go And I found myself in a psych clinic I kept trying to explain why I shouldn’t be in it But they brush past my honesty like it was lies Pinned up a frame over my eyes To tell me who they think I am But I constantly fall outside the plan And the time flowed past me like sand Rough and brittle with the misunderstand Til I met a common heart And he made my pain look like art With his smile and his self conscious laugh I was doing yoga when I stretched my calf And I wanted to explain just what was in my mind Flexible around the river bend And why do I stand for this shit Oh, the ocean I flow with Had me by decree Down on one knee Proposing a new direction Standing outside natural selection Into a reverberate that would sound The corridors I walked around In monuments to my fear But there was always someone near And I was shaking with the times Am I stepping on land mines Or is everywhere I place my tread Safely like they never said And it’s hard to reconcile That place with my secret smile The one that knows no bounds I used to listen for the sounds That would set me free I am okay, but hey, that’s just me!
The door opened and the sun shone through
Now I'm blinded by all of you
In my psychois
I am precocious
As I make awakening look simple
Then suddenly hard
It's like It flicks a switch
And deals the final card
To make good on a promise true
And I trust in it too
Because it broke the fragile seam
And I realised that the dream
Can't cage the forest of my heart
So I make my pain make art, make art
And it's all a wonder in the deepest blue
An ocean that I saw in you
And it surged into
A tidal wave surge
And I craved to find the bird
That alighted on the tallest tree
And the flood just freed me
From shackles I didn't even know were there
And somehow It knows that care
Is only meant for a temporary incarnation
But your soul and its appellation
Is more universal than creation
Could ever contain
I came down as the softest rain
Oceanic life, I can feel the drown Rising up when I’m outta town It’s like a vast submerge Has me on the verge Of saying exactly what I mean And punching a hole in the dream That I built so carefully And I’m sure they don’t see But the forces of unconsciousness move to contain What they suspect might be rain And I’m coming down in a deluge And it’s like my heart is the centrifuge Of the whole storm And I’m both cold and warm As the fronts meet each other And somehow I found a brother Who connected on the level I chose Coz all of them are lined up in little rows And I draw outside the lines I replay it a thousand times
Is your country just a concept Something you play with Have you grown up Or are you still being a d*** Coz I cannot stand in silence As the pillars burn Wait for someone else To steady the axis turn And storms are breaking out Like they said they would I read between the lines Of a Book that is Good But you seek to condemn What is merely knowing I look out the window It’s April and it’s snowing As the ice melts And the Gulf Stream redirects I listen to Greta And I wonder what’s next In this reverberate That is slowly brewing The people in charge Don’t know what they’re doing Or maybe they do (In that case it’s worse) You order a Starbucks But I sense a hearse Somewhere on the horizon For the human race There’s no telling the atrocities That maybe we will face If something doesn’t change On the political scene I woke up from my nightmare And it was just a dream
Singing in my summer clothes Have one on me, one for the road And it’s long but it leads back to You The only path, the one that is true And I fight with the storm in my veins Countenance curious pains That attempt to distract From the fact I want him back But he’s sold to some other source And I have no remorse About speaking my mind I didn’t leave you behind Just on hold To be brave and to be bold Enough to truly say I didn’t want you to go away But doubted my ability, okay There’s nothing I can make stay Coz it’s all built on sand that’s shifting Tell me who I should be gifting With a midnight purpose scene I thought You and I was just a dream
One moment of togetherness in the pit of my stomach It’s like that drop when the rollercoaster plummet And you know that there’s no going back You’re my personal heart attack In a dark room or on a screen And it was later I saw you as the dream Always at arms length away Coz it’s not safe if you stay That close to me You’re threatening my captivity And I wanna be free So I got lost in a degree Where I make two and two equal four But you’re on the other side of the door Singing please let me in So I let myself love him Soft and slow Like I am letting you go But then I took a storm Said this thing isn’t even warm Though the lightning cracks And you let loose some things you can’t take back And I swore we’d never speak again And I lost my tenuous faith in men But it keeps coming back to find me I’m just being eccentric so don’t mind me When this reel is done I’ll shine like the fuckin sun
I’m at a loss as to what to do I’m staring at the ocean when I’m staring at you And it’s staring back What do I lack When you endlessly unfold And pave the path of solid gold Back to the core And I just want you more Than I’ve ever wanted anything You taught me how to sing My own tune And the ground quakes when you’re in the room I wake up with shakes of equivalent doom That haunts me at night Oh, what is my plight That I’m ever effervescent in the forest of time To make a promise that makes the words mine
I think I've found the princess and the pea
And the thing that was troubling me
Coz it started that summer after we met
Something about time and what we cannot forget
And it was just a day
But it changed everything anyway
And you were a little emo cool
I was a little high achiever in school
And we both wrote our own stories
It doesn't help that yours always floors me
With your honesty and straight talk
If I knew you better I would've said you'd walk
But as it was we sat side by side
And I felt I knew what was inside
You from the way you stared at my frame
And I barely know your name
But it's been embedded in my mind since
As if you are the perfect prince
To cut through the brambles and briars
To wake the one who sleeps through fires
And I know I should not utter the truth
Lest I find myself in league with a brute
Who evinces all that there is to be
When I discovered you with me
It was as though a holy sun burned
It was as though the axis turned
Just for the sake of gravity
And it's the magnetism that pulls you to me
In the era of high agenda
You don't have to defend that
Same old little pocket of pain
Because I will only assuage the rain
That kisses the ground and grows the grass
And the trouble is not born to last
But to come and go
So that we both might know
What peace will entertain
You are a beautiful refrain
As we grow the earth
Up out of it's time of hurt
Into the knowledge of the sun
And that we all are one
I meet you in my darkest hours
When I've been given over to unconscious powers
To remake the day
You touch my hand anyway
And say
That everything will be okay
And you're mystical, blue and something serene
I seem to only meet you in my dreams
Where your warm presence touches my soul
And you crash like the tide on the shore that I roll
And we are as one beyond what I can contain
If you were a cloud you would fall to me as rain
But you're not a nebulous feat of the sky
You are a love that will never die
And I met you so long ago
But I knew you before that, you know
And we've had our rows and our differences change
I'm too much the same and you're overly strange
But somehow we meet in the middle of our love story plot
Breaking the shell of all that we're not
Into an omelette of fate's desire
You set my heart on fire
And it burns away all the cracks
I'm broken but I would not take it back
Coz that's how the light gets through
And I see it shining in you
As you magnify the circumspect
Is there a moment to reject
What we've known thus far
How could I ever know what you are?
He got a dial on the rotary blade
And he claimed he knew how to save
But he sent me to some kind of hell
Then forbade me to ever tell
The story of how our love was made
He put the darkness into the shade
Of the sun that just shines on me
Or from within the holy sea
In the forests he was found
And I can't bear to hear the sound
Of what forever whispered that night
He asked me if I was alright
So I proceeded to spill the secret soul
Then he panicked and the whole
Was exiled to the far reaches of the kingdom
So far away he won't even sing them
As a lullaby to his pain
The clouds were too apt to rain
Upon the land
That used to be sand
To hold my feet
As they walked to the place where we meet
In between the intersection
Of my silence and his rejection
Of all that could ever be
What is the meaning of the word free
I'm just mad coz you forced me off the land
With your masculine misunderstand
And I guess I'm emotional and female
But that don't mean I should go to jail
For a century or two
Just because I frighten you
With all you can't contain
It was love, it wasn't pain
And the winter was long but the snow
Can't stop the way the spring will grow
New green into all of the leaves
And it's not just about what you believe
And I throw shards of glass into the past
Memories of what didn't last
And your words are like daggers that cut my skin
How does he know how to hurt within
With his flagrant disrespect for all I offer
I know it's just the way you suffer
But I can't play small anymore
Or cover over what you adore
And don't want to love
It was given me from above
And you're just gonna have to get used to it
Being front and centre and your wit
Can't tear me down no more
Find another ship to sail to the shore!
Fighting the monument to the era gone by
I dunno, I just had to try
But throwing stones at the wall
Is not the way to get over it all
And they had me medicated to the hilt
I couldn't stop crying til the flower wilt
And the flow of the years pass through
As I stare through the window at you
Hoping you might turn your head
But I better watch my mouth or I'll end up dead
Coz there's traps for every sound
And they're scattered all around
In the avenues that people walk
And the professionals are all talk
Coz it's a road less traveled by
And it's a witch hunt if you claim to fly
When you are an earth bound creature
But I thought this deserved a feature
In the newspaper of us
It's crumpled like our broken trust
The idea I came into being The idea I go is sometimes freeing But more than that is the pane of glass That I watched one day just smash As I looked across the reflection It had conjured up And though it was weak It was born of love And salty air caught my nose It wasn’t something I ever chose But would I go back To buying into the sense of lack That is so endemic Long before the pandemic Came to take lives from our shore How much you lose is how much you adore And I stared at him from across the stage Riveted from the page He had used to ink The passing stream they call “to think” And the joy just burst Like a balloon in my thirst And I hungered for air That moved just because you were there Can you rivet an eye And please explain why people die If you can Just a man But somehow more I woke up Wednesday on the floor
Sitting in a New York café Wondering whose gonna win the day Is it me or my fear I shake because the doom was near And it pulled me far away from the storm Do you think the sun is warm Or is it just faking it’s heat But I can feel it on my feet As my toes shake sand Out of the knots in my hand Like a well worn tree He left and then never met me And I gotta find God Do you venerate the Lord And is it just another symbol Or can you see out the window To where the grass is green Something in me has always been And will abide I don’t have to hide From the shirking of weight They call it luck, I call it fate
I dig you Like a grave And you’re the hero I’d die to save In the monuments Of long lost glory And are you just staring At my story As we put leagues In between ourselves Like Walmart And stacking shelves For all our worth I swore but it still hurt And cursed the stubbing toe It didn’t make the pain go Only added a layer of ennui I’m always longing for open sky To set sail a sea Into the blue eternity That stretches out the clouds Until I make the people proud With who I am Something about love And God’s plan
What did I forget Is it the way your bulletproof tinges my regret As we walk to home Sometimes forever is better alone As when the tide goes out And it’s like a drought On my lips Or a midnight eclipse One you can’t see I dunno about you but that’s about me In the wonder years When I bottled all my tears And sold them for cash Brilliant but just a bit rash As steam on a sunny day It rises then it goes away To be replaced By the sunset the storm effaced
Stray I follow
And her words are hollow
Like the rings round her eyes
Everything lives and dies
And she can't shake the spectre
That hides in the window
So she finds love
But it isn't in him though
And the monsters don't drag
Her out of the bed
In the morning
Do I wreck your head
Or can you contain what I say
I like you, is that okay
But I don't agree with all you do
Or how you justify it to you too
And I'm down with all of the vibes
You emulate
And you call my bluff on fate
But something weaves
Its way in and out of thread
I choose myself instead
Of the same damn old fight
Burning in the firelight
And it's something serene
Do I really crack the dream
Open like an egg on the pan
Does anyone know who I am
Coz I think he did
But then I hid
And he bought the lie
But I had to try
To tell the truth
But I'm just selling my youth
And auctioning it to the highest bidder
And the thoughts in my own head make me shiver
With the terror of movement going
And now the wind is snowing
In the middle of spring
Did I really give up everything
Just to get to New York
The road bends just beyond the fork
And I can't choose
Based on what I've left to lose
I must be pulled though
And it's the sight of you
That's driving me on
True Love isn't gone
The power of my voice I speak and it’s not by choice It’s like God has hold of my tongue And I surrendered to Him when I was young Now he commands more than I can believe I let Him move me and it relieve The pressure that’s been building Up in my soul Does a wave know it’s water When it starts to roll Only to crash back into the sea Never really leaving the vicinity Of ocean all the time I thought I could call the people mine But they turned on me and the desire Burned in me like sulfurous fire Always aching to reach out beyond They lock me up and I abscond Only to be returned to the same place again The bathroom floor and me are great friends And it is cool against my cheek Do you remember that time I got weak And collapsed in front of the class I didn’t know the Revelation last Now I’ve got vines pulling at my hands I’ve got an hourglass and it’s slipping sand But does God just turn it when the time runs out So He can achieve without any doubt And is there a way I can transcend Something about the riverbend And being open to what you don’t know I held on so tight, now I let go And the winter can’t stop me loving the snow His hand connected with the wrong side of a blow And I was felled just like a tree Except it didn’t really happen to me Just some grass in the forest I don’t know what I’m doing, if I’m being honest But the road is paved, the path is beaten And I can’t avoid the moment I meet Him There in the woods of ill repute You wear a dress, I’ll play the flute And music will last for the whole night I look up and grin because I am alright
The Poetry Book 