Stuttered Ignition

Love breaks bones and makes you appreciate pain
Finding someone worth suffering for through the rain
And you grow forests from the seeds in your hands
But there is one thing you do not understand
That I loved you more than you could ever love me
And I left to spare your dignity
I was the one to walk away you see
So you could have all you’re meant to be
And it hurt but I’m an anchor and I would drag you down
Turn that magnificent smile into a frown
Hold you in place so you cannot move
Because you’re what I’m afraid to lose
So, I let you leave though you told me you were going
You were like a sea creature I sent to the ocean
Made you take steps though you double doubted
The implications of words that I shouted
I could see it in your face, the indecision, and I had to be cold
Turn my face away from what I want to hold
Though you are beating my heart
And every move you make tears me apart
Why am I so alone?
How did you get into my home
This way, like it was a common feat
Like you had never tasted defeat
Didn’t even think it, didn’t hesitate
You just read the patterns I had made on my plate
Horrified and thrilled, I thought maybe
You were the one who could get the best of me
See through the war I made with myself
Tell me it didn’t matter, there is no one else
But you were human and unsure and you don’t hold the blame
I set fire to everything that touched my name
And you, only you, did not burn
That’s the lesson that I learned

…………….I love you

Uninterruptibly

Arguing with you is like banging my head off a wall
Cause I don’t want to hurt you by revealing it all
And I know it’s frustrating to be at the other end of my brain
But I want to tell you what I cannot explain
I cannot delineate the light or the darkness in my head
Or the fear that strikes when I am dead
And you are so fine a note I am scared to tear
In my desperation I wonder if you care
Cause you are so whole and fundamentally complete
That I feel second rate every time we meet
As if there’s a ladder I just cannot climb
And I can’t brand you so that you are mine
Cause you are beyond definition
And you just laugh callously at my superstition
Cause your body is fading under the sun
So you cut the conversation short and say I have won
When all I really feel is defeat
That you would cut loose what you don’t want to meet
And you can give me reasons and they are aplenty
But they don’t stop this feeling so empty
When what you looked up to your whole life
Gets up wordlessly and walks out of your sight