There is a boy somewhere far away And I know that no matter what he may say He can’t escape me Or erase me From his grasp And the asp Bit me on the neck Of the dream I thought to wreck And I wonder when we both might die Me by accident and you because you want to try To see what’s beyond the pale And I know what is not up for sale But I have no cash to buy Just the lashes I use to lie About who I am I look away and that’s part of the plan Because I cannot let you see That you have found your home in me Because I know that someday we’ll be separated Whether by force or because we’ve been education To believe in the divide And I abide Somewhere between God and Mass Between being a good girl and getting an A in class And it’s something growing up in an Ireland in transition Where people still use ammunition To fire at you While tolerance is preached to you in the pew And it’s not okay to be gay Then it is (or at least that’s what they say) And I think of Stephen Gately And the people who cannot find a home lately As the rows erupt And people on the news say that we’re fucked But I see another scene And it resides in all that we’ve been In all these centuries And the millennia before they told us who we could be If we just believed But the dragon falls and I’m relieved Of the burden I bear And I watch the fabric tear On all that I thought I knew This land always meant more to me than you And I know you’re somewhere in the city And I tried it for a while but it’s a pity But I missed the hills of Kilglass And the soul that pours through the grass In the fields so green The college was a concrete jungle of all I’d never been And I found some kind of refuge in Darragh But my heart is like a sparrow That sits on a lonely branch and sings For the boys that gives air to its wings And the girls fight over what handbag is on brand And I just stare and watch the sand Slipping out of our hands And wonder why they don’t understand That they’re gripping something that is made of leather And won’t make them feel any better And I know I’ve got to get out of there Then I find Tessa and Jennie and I know that they care As we find some kind of peace in Nutgrove Avenue And I drove my own car down the roads of you As I stay up til five Exuberant in the knowledge that you’re alive Somewhere over there on the west coast And I don’t mean to boast But I think my man is the best Because he’s deeper than all the rest And I cannot contemplate A series of x’s and y’s that do not equate To you and I forever So I sail this endeavour To it’s logical conclusion My confession and your confusion
Did I lose a friend when I let you go On the edge of UCD and I just want you to know Who you are and what you mean to be What you were and what you are to me And you would drop your gaze and look away I don't know why I couldn't make the time stay Coz I wasn't sure I was girlfriend material I'm half wild and ethereal And I live to drop in and out Of my own self doubt And you were honest and true And all heart and I loved you But I didn't let you see In case you would get attached to me And I would have to split But I was enchanted and that's what you're dealing with As I'm leading you back to the club Because I don't want anything to happen to you, my love And I get Colin to go out and meet you there I want you to know I care But you stopped talking to me At the airport like you just looked straight through me As we'd wheel a case or carry a bag And the days drag Without you in my life I know you probably have a wife By now But the part of me that I allow You access to Has not been retracted, you Still hold that same spot Somewhere between the dream of what I could be and what I am not Because you were fire red and real And I would steal You away in a minute But just don't think tradition is in it If you still want to call on me Just click hello and there I'll be
I’m nostalgic for the bad old times For wicked games and nine crimes And Damien Rice plays while I sit in the car Wondering what exactly you are And I traversed the lonely forest And you could keep me lonely but never honest As I try to recapture UCD But it all just keeps escaping from me And it was the years of Marian and Dee Of Elaine, Darragh and things that helped me go free And when I rediscovered my dignity My ability to run after people disappeared And I could sense that the end neared In 2011 and I cried It was as though something had died In me, in us, in the world at large And my sister says I live in the past but that barge Never fails to take me home As I roam Empty streets and green triangles In the darkness and newfangled Angels on the brink Of watching us all go down the kitchen sink And he said something’s I don’t understand But he’s beautiful and oh, what a man So I cut the thread Coz I sense that he wants my bed More than he wants my heart And if it’s all about the art Then why does he cry I sense diamonds at the edge of my eye As I try To pierce through to his core But it just eludes me more Maybe everything is just as it seems And I’m just waking from the dream That I made up in my own head I forget everything you said But not what you stand for And I adore The mists of time What would life be like if you were mine?
Getting drunk in the city Darragh’s cute and Johnroy is witty And Liosa and Isabelle are so pretty Im too smart and that’s a pity And I feel lost in the move of the club Marian holds my hand as we walk round the pub And it’s a sprawling mess but it’s divine The days UCD was mine And I did less learning than ever before Don’t you see how the sun lit up the floor As we did a skit about being D4 I’d never been that sassy before But it only made us closer as a group And I was just sitting on the stoop When he laughed and told a joke And he smiles so I don’t have to cope With this damn state of mind that’s dragging me under He is the clouds But I am the thunder And I just rumble Into the town that we own He’s older than me But you never would’ve known As he bought me a drink That said don’t think Too much about those things He makes a face and my heart sings He throws his arm casually round my shoulder And I feel I’ve just dropped the boulder That I’ve been rolling up this hill He lets me see his heart at will It’s lockdown and I’m thinking of him Wondering if he kept that grin And nothing burns like gasoline You’re the fire in my dream And I never told you what you wanted me to Could you see that I love you? And he probably has a furnace to build He’s the red in my heart and it cannot be filled With the memory of what we were Can I present tense the moment I’m her As we’re running down aisles and chasing down stars And Rob, you know, he plays guitars And I just wish I could be involved Coz this damn problem’s never solved But I wouldn’t change it, because we met I hold a space in my soul for you yet
The Poetry Book 