I don’t know what it is but something needs o be done Because there are people dying young From a disease that no one can see They say it’s mental illness but I don’t think we Are defunct in any sort of way We are just sensitive to the play Of light and form on the screen of life And people tick boxes like a job and wife And a car and a two point five Like those things mean you are alive Is it any wonder that there are those who want to die Who hide the way they cry From everyone so no one can see And that once was the girl I call me But something woke me up And now I want to share that love With anyone who has faded to grey And finds the flatness worse than anything words could say And is it adult to falter on the brink Of the things we dare not think To be confused and afraid to even breathe In case someone doesn’t get what they need From what we hold out in our hands And in the past people wanted lands Now they colonise our minds And taunt us with what’s been left behind But the eternal moment of Now Has become enough for me somehow And I try to explain to a priest The meaning of the deceased But he doesn’t get it So I say; “forget it” And let the river pull me away From everything they say To the winter in me It kind of feels like being set free To feel the wind in my hair And know that I am there In the subterfuge and release I wonder do they notice the crease In my dress but I let it be seen And look up from the dream As I fall into reality I feel the Universe forgiving me
In the infinite moment of us You walked away and the broken trust Still slits like shards of glass On the ground of the class That only ever gave me a pass In it’s hall of induction And some babies are born with the power of suction But it’s not something I think that I will do And it might not be me but it could be you So go make your life With the girl that I call your wife I won’t interfere Just know it’s because I hold you dear And I could never fulfill Your last testament and will Of a perfect fold My streets are paved with gold But I only walk them when I want exercise Like I only look at you when I want to see your eyes And the disguise fall Oh, all this endless talking to the wall And you may never leave her But I think you believe her When she says that I am troubled too But I’m just bubbled like you Brewing like a pot on the hob And seceded like a man on the job As he hammers the nail into place I look away when I see your face In every man I meet I just can’t take the heat Though I would like to try And I know you wanted to die But I couldn’t fold the paper And I don’t hate her I am grateful to her For being there for you When I was sailing a sea that is so blue Telling you about the rainforest I did give you a promise That I would return But I didn’t realise the letter burn In the fire with the stamp still on I love you that’s why I’m gone
There is a bullet in my body, some kind of shrapnel I got from the war I fought With a boy who can’t be bought Not with trinkets polished to gold Not with promises of growing old Only the truth raises his eyes And lets him see with no disguise As he looks into me Letting part of it go free As it struggles to get loose What is the point that you prove When you seek to impress Me so you can see me undress In your mind And I ask what’s left behind In the water that we find Somewhere on the shore And I visit Loch Lomond and adore The wilderness of mountains frame When the English played their games With the lives of their so called subjects But I reject Their colonial expanse That would have killed the dance Every human heart is party to And I see that freedom in you As you fight with me And you don’t know that your integrity Is my favourite thing about ya Did you think I doubt ya When you say that no means no And I love you but I let it go And trust that fate will bring us together In this sea of highland weather The Celt in my bones Won’t leave it alone And I just call you “one more time” Would it be a crime If I crossed your girlfriends line That has been drawn in the sand And I cannot love someone else’s man Though I do My soul will ever call to you Across the ocean between us I think God might dream us When we conceive of a future we own And do you lose if the game has been thrown?
Can I not speak my truth As I try to put words to my youth And the boy that blazed the sky Across the part of me that would not die Not matter how they tried To bury me with the tears they’ve cried Over ancient wounds But he walks into rooms And just changes the air Not someone else is there And I can’t knock Even though there are things that it is not Could I just be your friend And wait for things to end With her So we can reconnect with what we were And my sister warns me to stay away And my mother lets me know I would have to pay A price I can’t afford If I risk my room and board In the home I built for us Because paper wrinkled with broken trust Can’t be merged back into fine Without someone having to do hard time As I walk in the night It’s five o’ clock and, alright It’s to early to call So I bang my head off a wall And hope that it will soothe the drum That whispers to me what we will become If I just let it flow Why is it that being told to let go Makes me feel like someone’s stabbing my guts And the model in me struts Down the aisle But the lioness only smile As she bares her teeth We both stood on the street Near the monument to 1916 And sometimes I wonder if it was only ever a dream To think you loved me then Because I have watched boys become men And what they lose in the shutting down And women craving a white gown To give them worthiness points In a society that anoints Babies into a secular sphere And you know the end is near When you begin But, for once, I hope you win When you try to wash away The part of me that won’t let you stay Near the shore that I created And I never wanted to be educated And forget the truth I am I love you like Ros wants Sam And your smile breaks the scene I wish you the best of this broken dream
Is there a girl code Because I let him into my abode And now he won’t get the fuck out Even when I told him what I’m about And that I didn’t know about you When I let him do what he wanted to do As I felt the pulling thunder In the sheets I was lying under And I turned to meet his face Now all I see is the disgrace Of knowing that he was with you The whole four years I wanted to Let him be And our history Is tainted and blue And I guess it’s nothing new To say that men will connive Every minute they’re alive But I’m bitter now And jaded and somehow Only see the dark side of the grain As the sky pours with rain Down unto the glen And amen Is the end to every prayer Was he ever even there When he whispered those words to me Like a future planning history As we interlock our fingers Now I just jump at phone ringers Coz I don’t know what the news will be And tragedy Always seem to come down the line And you said that he was fine But I wonder do you know him at all Because I spent an age staring at his wall To divinate And I wouldn’t want a man of mine in that state So I offer him an olive branch or two But he snaps back that he’s with you So I let it fall into the flood And hope that the result will be good But it’s a burden And I wonder if you heard him When he cried on his own The boy I love on the golden throne
It’s a nightmare we’re all dreaming And somewhere the children are screaming And it aches in my heart and it pulls at my soul Something crushes the begging bowl And flattens the land The hills and valleys that used to understand All the movement and all the sighs I watch a brother break as his sibling dies And his wails of pain seem all to familiar to me Because I know the crushing weight of the sea As it pummels the shore What is left to adore In this broken world And if I am just a girl How do I effect change But I watch the stars rearrange Every season in the sky As I ask God why He could allow such things And if the spirit has wings Does it fly away from here When it’s separated from the ones we hold dear In a man made disaster And there is no plaster Than can fix bullet holes And we’re all just supposed to play our roles In this great big cosmic machine And I thank God that it is just a dream As I rouse to wake The people that die for humanity’s sake I feel something break And go free in me Are we doomed to repeat history Or can we be the change we want to see If there’s a man in the mirror it starts with me
I try to block the truth from reaching me And all the universe is teaching me Has to turn into a baseball bat Instead of the original welcome mat He offered me love in the extreme And though it was a part of the dream It had something real to it too And I realised I was in love with you But I turned away Because what is it that people say We are too different to make it work And you are bathed in the hurt You’ve spent your whole life accumulate And you’ve let it make you hate People you don’t understand But you’re beautiful and I love you, man And I know the dial will turn to spin on me So I let you go free And I feel your resignation and resolution But you know that is no solution So I have to intervene Did you hear me scream When my brain came apart in two That was life splitting me from you And we both fragmented into an entangled particle And people start to call me “some article” But I don’t mind Because I have not left you behind You’re still in my soul Like the bed of truth and rock and roll And it doesn’t matter, come what may I’ll sing this song to you and you’ll wake and say I love you Laura And as I read your aura It will speak volumes of colour And all that made you duller Will lift and release And we will make that beast Retract into its cave Go back into the dark so grave Like the boy I could not save He became the man I crave
She uses broken arrows to fire at me Then says that she sets me free But her archery is not second place And she knows how to deface A wall with her spray paint eyes And bulletproof disguise And we’ll never be what we were Because you cracked the crisp leaf beside her And stabbed me in the front (only enemies stab you in the back) Still though your love don’t mean jack Not now, not anymore And I’ll always have affection for you, mo stór But our two by two is now shattered glass Because you thought he just wanted ass And so you sought to protect Me from being a reject But in seeing me in the lowest terms I set fire to the hay and it burns Up all the crackling grass And she said that this too shall pass But she’s not the one who has to live through the story I know she’ll just ignore me If I try to press my case So I fall silent in the land gone to waste And spill it all out onto a page All my bubbling pain and held back rage When she’s in the room I don’t know, you echo the bells of doom
I walked on the eggshells of not knowing where to look Should I do this one by the book Or throw the rules out of the window I know she has her eyes on him though As I spy her through my eyeglass And we both agree that Darragh is class And maybe I shouldn’t mention his name But he’ll only see this when I’m way high and fame Has taken me to the door Of all the people I love but mo stór Let me tell you you were epic And I hope I didn’t wreck it And that somewhere in your heart You still have me on start And hit go every now and then I look up and worship as you say Amen To the starshot in my eyes I almost dropped the disguise When she asked me which guy I liked And my courage almost spiked But then I just deflect I think she knows though, I suspect And it was over ten years ago Time passes (most people don’t know) But something’s eternal, something’s ever there Like the way I know you care As we walk the dark path into the grounds Of the apartment complex and all the sounds Fall to the silence of our footsteps I cried that night into my own regret And it was one of the first few days I started writing again In the end something begin And I went chasing after Haley’s comet But someone else is already on it So I just wrote this note to say I still think of you, okay Even if it’s though the moonbeams And the dresses that are ripped at the seams Because they took their cutting scissors to them Still, I wish I could play you again
Dead bodies and machine gun eyes I think they believe the lies That they are fed And when they lie in bed They must stop the truth from reaching them And life must be teaching them How to bear the weight they’ve been gifted I sweat in my jumper that’s been thrifted From some nearby store And I just wanted to change it more But how do you compete with belief And you just feel relief When it falls away from you It doesn’t matter if you don’t know what to do What matters is that you’re wiling to be led Not blind opposition to what’s being said And I watch Ben Gvir shout his refrain Does he even know the pain He’s in and so inflicts They say that some day wars will be fought with sticks After we’ve destroyed ourselves Why do you put them in cells If they are brother and sister tide Please leave the Palestinians alive You’ve done enough And, God knows, it wasn’t out of love It was to feed that old demon That’s always dreaming He will rule the world And what does it matter what says this girl Who is just a child of Irish rain And our own kind of particular pain As we live on the land Our ancestors once couldn’t understand As it was stolen from beneath them Until someone bequeath them Their own patch of ground And do you hear the sound Of the child cry Why must I be the one to let her die?
I can’t make you here now I can only allow Life to make its way to me And set you free From the shackles you chain Around yourself like acid rain That just burns its way through And if there’s anything we can do It’s to hold the might Of the fuel for our fancy in the candlelight As everyone tries to blow it out And my mouth Reaches to you So I could breathe my love into The lungs that you use To abuse The air that turns into words Because they all go unheard By the great weight of swim I don’t know why I liked him I just did and it gripped hold of my soul My sister says I should just roll In the sea for a century And turn into what she’s made of me All sticks and stones And brittle bones She loves to break And I should forsake My soul for proprietary But my heart just won’t let me It bashes me up against the wall Then throws me over a waterfall Til I’m all worn out and in confusion My brain is heavy with all the bruising It has taken And then I waken And look up into his eyes And know a love that never dies Again I thought I had given up on men
The secret store Are all the stories I kept before I found a blank page To hold all my rage And people are multifaceted I don’t think she acted it When she told me to go fcuk myself That day in her presence And the mark still leaves a crescent Shaped bite on my arm I never thought she would harm Me in that way But that’s the price you pay For loving the games you play And leaving it all on the field The way the fortress might yield If I could bridge the gap But I never could read the map That led to the heart of her And I could write mountains about what we were But am I just looking to the past For a mast I can use to set sail And does my courage fail When she stares at me down the barrel of the gun Like she’s got a single shot and I am the one The bullet is for And a closed door Hurts more than the blood in my veins Pouring out of me like the rains Upon the ground I know He didn’t get it so I said it slow But nothing caught on And he tells me he is gone But I see his shadow at the door When he thinks the light won’t catch him anymore
The boat rocked when the wave shook me to my core And I kindly showed her to the door When she took out the dagger and it caught the light And I could see in the night That she never wished me well And it rained holy hell On my town I contemplated what it would be like to drown In a nearby lake Would she come to my wake Like the whole community does when someone dies Then someone’s loved one cries And I couldn’t do that to them But I wouldn’t like to be back there again Because it was as pitch as the blackest dark And it left a mark The scar is what I cherish now Because the truth got to me somehow And I don’t understand the Lord but he saved my life And he doesn’t want me to just be a wife And surrender and go down Like everyone does everywhere around It’s like you hit thirty And everything you thought was dirty Suddenly looks so damn appealing And there were comics that I was stealing The day I followed a trail And I swore my soul was not for sale But I danced on the edge of a cliff Balancing on a what if And it mattered to me less than naught But what if I get caught So I commit myself to an institution Maybe they can straighten out my convolution And I’ve always had a strong constitution But it doesn’t hold up under this pressure There’s nothing like a doctor to stress ya Especially when they’ve got all the power But I am not one to cower So I just run to the sea But they’re still watching me As I find a corner of the room That doesn’t sink with the sound of doom That echoed around that place And I couldn’t show my face To anyone at all I just remember the length of the hall When you’re walking it alone And they’ve taken my phone So I follow Sinéad and pace the route But they jot down that I follow suit And it’s all just a case study to them And they assure me it will happen again If I forsake the pills And the bending of my wills But I’m about done with this I’m still thinking about Jack’s kiss
It’s impossible to stay angry at you When you flick that gaze at me And I swore that it would be us For eternity But the dials switched and changed The atoms rearranged And it seemed like our history Would stay in the past Like me getting all those A’s in class And they called me names Like all I am is brains And Deirdre, she cut me down Made me wanna run clear outta that town And she would pick away at me Til I had enough and infinity Isn’t far enough to be away from her Even though I mourn what we were And I know her depths go unknown And some of them were shown To me too And there were parts that were true But the lies they perforate And before I know it it’s that date Again And men Seem like my only salvation As I make x and y balance the equation And I thought I had struck gold In the ground or at the end of the rainbow You turned out to be the same as her though It was all shits and giggles But the next thing the girl wriggles And you’re gone And I say so long To all that I thought you were Enjoy the business you have with her I’m sure it’s mighty fine But just don’t try to waste my time Saying you’re my friend When I only ever saw the end Of what you were trying to sell And I wish you both well But I’m not gonna gallop that pony And I could be wrong but you’re full of baloney
I’m not going making an enemy out of you Not even if the whole world wants me to And you’ve got the force of the women’s cause And I’m on a stereo hitting pause Because I can’t cope with what I see That you had her as well as me And I know it’s lame and it’s a whole joke And I can’t get by on what I wrote But I see you sometimes in the air And feel the space where you’re not there And everything’s like an answered prayer And you’re the angel by which I’d swear But the mountains roll down to the sea And I am nothing if not free Of everything you got to be I don’t know if you were looking for eternity But it was forever on the grass Just the kind that doesn’t last And you were the rain that lashed And all the diagrams that smashed But somehow you made a different choice And I decided to hide my voice In the realms of empty pages I’ve written odes to the ages Up against an empty wall And I was running down the hall Just to catch the trail of you Til I realized you don’t want me to So I just stop and stand still Feel the force of all that will Strive to keep heaven away But it’s one shore I can’t hold at bay And the march of time just goes on Will there be a day when we’re both gone Or does something just endure I call it the wave of pure Consciousness that just abides There are oceans that survive The still and empty way you move And if love is just a point we prove Then there’s nothing left to lose I don’t have a choice but it’s you I choose
So I guess his girlfriend hates me now Because I let him in and allow Him to take me to dance Give love at first sight a second chance And I won’t refuse him If he knocks on my door Prove to God Who loves him more And I know you’ve made him happy And I don’t envy the task But there is still so much I’ve got to ask You both coz I wanna be friends With the two of you Don’t doubt that I love you too Some kind of sister In the scene You were his twenty something dream And I can only catch a glimpse of him Through the photographs in which I swim That you took And I wrote a book About the way feelings clash Hot and cold fronts, smoke and ash But I don’t want a showdown with fragrant air I’m glad that you were there To catch his tears and resound his laughter And you’re cute but I know what you’re after As you fool a second glance In a sort of romance But you gotta know I gotta say That I’ve loved him In every way Picked up the crumbs he dropped on the path Be the beauty in the aftermath And I don’t want an enemy Or someone taking swipes at me I just want to kneel as I confess I envy you in that dress And all that I missed out in the fire You’re burning earth on the pyre And I’m sure a furnace or two Knows the depths and breadth of you And you look at each other But he is my soul brother And I gotta let him know Let the love show In the diagrams refract Is it okay if I come back And be the mirror to reflect Not something circumspect But deep blue truth That professed secrets of our youth And he used to be an emotional kid And I was straight laced, he took the lid Off of all I can’t contain I’m singing summertime in the rain As we share each other’s speech And he’s tall and got reach And I know in his secret heart He has held onto you I know what he wants to do And I can’t escape From the flash of a red cape As it floats in the mirror And I was so blind I didn’t see her As I made an overview of you I mapped the things that you could do And I give up the fight Coz I wanna be a good person and alright And I feel if you knew all there was to know There is no way you would ever go I keep hidden the best part of me But I’m opening up so you see All that’s left of what we were It’s not a matter of me or her
Death comes to take everything I love And I lose the glove I wore when I was younger and blue And it was all I could do to hold onto you But I had to let you go your own way Because there’s nothing that I can say To stem the tide Of that which cannot abide In the tome of fate I never gave in to hate But I couldn’t hold the love you carry And the boy I want to marry I ran him off Because I couldn’t pay the cost That it would require And now the whole world is on fire With the hate that burns As the aching turns It on its axis and spin And once I was with him But things change and so did he So I let go and now I’m free
When people implore me with their eyes But I don’t care who dies Because I have seen beyond the form And what happens when the body warm Soon turns cold and depart The spirit leaves by the heart And returns to join it’s immortal core They struggle to say I love you more In their attempts at suppression Some kind of drive at oppression Til I’m twenty nine and in confession As the priest says this will be your last aggression But I just can’t muster up the energy to say I’m saving it for another day Because everything is now And somehow In the forest of storm I found that which was never born And so can never leave this earth The something beyond the hurt And though they try to scratch and claw They are no match for the Great Thaw That is unfolding humanly On the planet and undoing me Well the “me” I thought I was It does not abide by laws But sits in it’s own sweet soul And tells the waves to roll and roll They will still meet the beach If this is what it is to teach Then call my words silent prose This is the less travelled road
I edit the muse Because I feel the ruse Is too obvious to everyone around So quiet as a mouse I don’t make a sound Til it implodes And everyone goads Me til a break in my mental health Is the cards that I am dealt I smile into the sun And I look for the one Meanwhile, on the run I end what was never begun And I look to him for salvation He hasn’t got any I thought he had the truth But it’s just one of the many And something he spouts To eschew his self doubt I look within And I find a power greater than him Deep in my soul He could make all the waves roll But he can’t command the sea Or make a woman out of me Just coz he’s a man He kicks the can Down the road And the car slowed To see what he was doing I’m no girl for the pursuing So I let it go I’m not sure if he ever got it though
There is a look you scarce can hide Not even when you’re by her side And I can see the way she don’t reach Into the lessons you long to teach And she may be fine by the beach But she’s not the one to help you sleep By her side And you are alive But you’re in a lot of pain I can feel it in the rain That pours from your eyes And if the hero dies Is the story over And I don’t even know her But I know enough to say She is not me, okay And you will never find your truth In the prism of your youth Thinking you’ve won the war Not realising what it’s for And you swore you had one over on me But I just set you free And I know I may not see you again Not in this form so I look at other men And they are wonderous and pure But I am still fuckin’ sure That you’re the one I long to be with And I’m not gonna call her a bitch Just because some theft’s going on And I may be gone But I still feel you wish For my lips to meet your kiss Like they did on the first day Our palm to palm and then away Into the pub where no alcohol is served And I observed That when I swerved Away from you You still pondered what to do And if you could reach over to me But thank you for letting me be free I was too young for sex Or committing to what you wanted to do next And I returned several years later And was enamoured til I realised you date her All the while I poured my soul Into your begging bowl And you see yourself as pathetic and weak Because you did not speak Up when you felt the cue But I’ve always seen the king in you And he rules the realm of my heart It only gets stronger since we’ve been apart
The Angel burst through my skin And in that moment I was One with Him The impervious, the crystalline And some people do hard time Trying to live up to A purpose they are longing to Embody And shoddy I wander the streets Til something in me meets The end of the road So I lay down the load And ask to be taken to the sky It is not the same as to die I whisper to Stephen That there are things I can’t help believing And I tell him that I write He flexes his eyebrows and I wonder if the sight Will ever leave my mind That he did not leave me behind In that moment true Like she had done too In the moments that we held And she weld Her steel to the iron It masks the way I’m lying About all I am And the plan Scares me to death And I spill the regret That I’ve been holding in my soul To someone who would roll The waves upon my shore He shone on me like an open door And in the midst of that smile I was okay for a while
Do I dash my own hopes And they wonder how she copes As they slash and burn Get in line so everyone gets a turn At the aching of the mending fences torched And she dreamt of a life on the front porch Sipping tea with her chosen one Now she fears that her son Will tear her down And she left the town Only to want to go back And none of those fuckers know jack About who you are And every star Turns into a black hole Don’t let them take your soul When they tear at your skin But you found it in him And I know I’m not alone When I click the link on my phone
I have this fear inside me, do I focus on it And does it just make me act like a twit I find myself in St. Pat’s, ground floor And everyone shines, my God, mo stór As I’m lying in bed in Dean Swift at night And he’s illuminated by the bathroom light He says it’s very bright But I could look at him and sight Is no burden But how would I word them This prose that sits inside And I only ever hide The best of me And the rest of me Lies in wait All the guys I’d love to date But my heart won’t let me Soul won’t forget me And lead me down a merry path One I might never find my way back From And it’s gone That sudden sharp Like Cleopatra playing the harp It’s an illusion And the confusion Was I trusted words Instead of the flight path of birds As they streak across the sky And I am not afraid to die But say that to a psy Chiatrist And you may get the gist Of what I relay I eventually learned not to say What was on my mind Because it leaves me behind Like an autumn tree And everything is fluttering from me As I’m out in the grass With Mary Jean, I never had to ask Her to teach me how to knit She wove the wool deftly as I sit And she came to my door With something she’d baked on the first floor And we ate it with my sister God knows, I missed her When I was locked away And I don’t care what people say Those places don’t help They just teach you how to stand on a shelf All pretty in pink And I used to think It was for a reason Now I see it was just a season I was passing through Growing wings and flying too Beyond the veil And what’s not up for sale Will always be bought By those who think they have caught The value in it And I didn’t win it But let it go There’s joy in defeat too, you know
I went on a search but I never found it Now all I can do is ground it As it pours light in through my crown I thought that I would drown In the darkness but it was light It lifts me up and I am alright As I, unsteady on my feet, As a foal I’ve yet to meet Struggle to regain the ground I’ve lost to the realm of sound As it pelts my windows I never let it in though Until that man came with his soul Held out like a begging bowl And it just undo Everything I was assuming of you And somehow we’re in! But does it pertain to Him Coz that will be evidence of it’s constancy And in my revelry I missed the quiet comfort of your hoodie And I’m just wondering would we If we got the chance You ask me to dance And I say yes I take the hand you hold out, I guess And we move to the beat And the heat That your body is throwing Has me knowing That this is something you’ve desired Ever since I set it all on fire No need to worry, dear The glass is crystal clear
The darkness that ensued And all I could do was brood Over the way things had come to be Confinement was the only mystery I could bear to hold So I ran from the fields of gold To the chains in the city And it was more self pity Than it was bravery I couldn’t face the truth And the pillars of my youth Are falling around me Now I have no grandfather to ground me So I just grasp at empty air Because you are no longer there To catch me when I fall And see me play football Down at the pitch Making a switch With Linda on the field But the wind blows and I yield To it and let you go It was harder than you know To relax my grasp On the part of me that was born to last And I couldn’t cry tears Despite the years We spent together And the weather Turned suddenly snow And somehow I just know That it’s time And my crime Is that I couldn’t bear to face This aspect of the human race That we must say goodbye To the people we love as they die And I’m hearing voices The people in Pat’s say it’s just noises But I sense that I can hear More than just the ones I hold dear From the other side I think they are still alive In some other realm And at the helm Is a spirit greater than we can understand He is not ruled over by man But free to birth into the world of form And just because my body’s warm Doesn’t mean that I’m separate From the ones my heart equate With eternal love And if I no longer have to look above But within to find you there Would you know that I still care?
Are our memories so short that we could call this history And the mystery Of the Emerald Isle Is how we survived the trial Of invasion And the abrasion Still shows in galactic consciousness As we struggle to address The appropriate evil to compensate For why we were in that state It seemed like there was nothing we could do Except rebel, rebel But it was a kind of hell As they starved the land of its people And we replaced futility with a steeple And prayed to a God we knew not of Because only Divine Love Could be our salvation As we were collateral damage for a nation Who’s only goal was empire And I wonder they never tire Of the chains they induce And they seduce The whole world with their lies And now it tries To deceive again Because in the realm of men Killing and war are necessary But children are not an accessory To the damage you do Yes, I am talking to you You equivocate And evaluate What you do by some measure But your treasure Is not to be found in the blood of the young Or a people to succumb To what you want to achieve I know you believe In what you say But I see another way To mend the broken wall Try letting the damn thing fall
He bullied me into letting go And I fell into the snow And it was icy cold Can I be brave, can I be bold? And just speak my own truth Reflected through the prism of youth That is growing long But still I believe that strong Comes with age If you do not allow it to turn the page On the fiercest of you If my heart means anything too It will continue to burn a hole Through the veil that hides the soul From the masses And the classes That I aced Were nothing to the glory of his face When it was revealed to me He tried to steal into what it means to me But it cannot be undone Once you’ve seen the sun You cannot unmake it And I would never forsake it Not for a pretty boy That uses females like a toy To play with in the day But in the night it goes away And he is mired in loss and pain And learns to live with the rain That pummels the skin I told him that if he let me in I could make it better And the weather Would pass But our moment didn’t last As he sold me out for someone else And claimed that mental health Is more important than truth My God, life can be such a brute But it will reveal itself to you If you let the web fall through Into the long lost water I am no wife, I am no daughter I am no female set free I am what I’ll always be
It whispers “go back into your cave” Because there are people to save And I can’t do it being thin Or just kicking the can with him Til my day arises And everything is full of suprises Most of them bad as hell As people wish you well Then stab you in the back Smile right before they attack I gave my heart to her And she shattered everything we were And I won’t go into details but She was the bridge my fever cut Like a knife right through the grass And the man just wants ass To smack so he can be the king He laughed at me so I took a swing And knocked his block right off Then Susanna got a cough And it was open season I ran and ran without reason I got lost in the ocean I swam in a sea of emotion And tried to get away From the grand sway As it unleashes hell on me To be the dragon set free Like some Chinese proclamation As they worship my exclamation Of wonder in the winsome lost I speak because I am the boss
I was a teen when the war in Iraq broke out And there was nothing I could do to stem the doubt That no one should be invading a land That they simply do not understand And dictators come in many shapes and sizes Some of them would be surprises Because what’s viewed as a just war Only depends on what you’re looking for And the bullets will be forever silent If we abdicate the violent And you could say I’m a pacifist And we simply should not exist Because we put stability in danger When we say that the manger Should not starve a baby boy And a gun is not a toy And I’ve never been burdened by strife I just rebel when he wants a wife To make a house and home But I love being on my own Free to admire Now I’m watching buildings on fire And children screaming for their parents Wondering where the hell they went Not knowing, and maybe by grace They get to see their faces Again And you can blame men But it is the ego It shoots what it doesn’t see though And I am no liberator The queen of whatever and see you later But I can’t be superfluous about this It is not stuck in a kiss It is in a scene that I could change If I just rearrange The way I see things play Because it will never be okay To raid a village and plunder and thieve And feed the enemy things they might believe So that you can further your agenda And you have some friends that will defend ya But the foundations are rocky and unstable And what was born isn’t able To reign in the suspense Compassion’s in the present tense And it is the only way To redeem the wolves that bay To the moon we all see Let’s let the past be history
Always and forever in bubblegum pop I will always be something that you are not And strive to reach But something they cannot teach Is that you are what you are And everyone burns like a star Til its collapse into a black hole The light returns to its soul Somewhere in the deep In a universe where you cannot speak Of the secrets they utter And the shutter Flies shut on the window As I see her with him, though And drop out of the sky Because some people want to die When they see their lover With another But all I feel is gratitude That she holds the heart of that dude And keeps him warm Because every storm Crashes upon my shore And everything means something more Than it’s first inception And your deflection Does nothing to dim The weight of worlds I am to him I see it in his eyes And that never dies Once it is born So forlorn Though so replete The lady washed the man’s feet With her hair I know because I was there
Marriage and prose And less travelled roads Did I find mine With a stranger who just took a moment of my time And let me be He let me go free When I felt the fear encapsulate Because he might want to date Me And eternity Is all I know But I have to let you know I don’t do boys and girls I do you are my world And you have become Everything I thought when I was young As we just talk And we just walk You lift my bag And I drag My feet behind me But do not mind me I’m just shy And I’m gonna love you til the day I die It’s not your choice But I raise my voice To let you know That this love won’t let me go And find another You’re like a lover I never had And the feeling bad Does not eclipse The anticipation of your lips On mine There was a time I thought we were naught Til I saw the line you bought With the skyline in the air So I let you know I care In stuttering vowels And the wolf of death, he prowls On the edge of conversation And education Can’t save us here But she just might, my dear And I do not begrudge The way you choose to express your love And find it reflected In the heart you have selected To be yours And the water pures As it pours through the filter And time will wilt her But it will not change The way the atoms rearragnge To form a sphere I will always be with you, dear
The machinations work And they hurt As I make myself small To appeal to you all And it’s not because I hold a grudge That I trudge through all this sludge Into the mists of time And my rhyme Gets relegated Into something somebody stated One time in the hall I hold myself back and the freefall Is more than I can bear And I tear In the fabric rush And everything I seem to touch Turns to ash And I can’t get it back Anymore than I ever could And the wood Is the only place I can find peace From the threat of the decease As it throws patterns on the wall And it’s not part of me at all Anymore Because that closed door Opened into a new sky And I realised I could never die
The higher dimensions call to me And they ask to be set free From all the chains Earth entails Because their starship never fails To broach the boundary of sky I wait and watch while people die In Palestine But it’s justified so “it’s fine” Are the people in Gaza even human Because what are the forces even doing To innocent men, women and child I look and see that the land is wild With sunset in the air And a sea that beats the coast with care And you may say it’s anti-Semitic To go against the rhetoric That is spilling from the screen Because war is always a scream And there’s nothing we can do about it So why should I even doubt it Like when they invaded Iraq All the world that I held back From speaking aloud and true Coz they might do something to you But they destabilise And become dictators in their eyes And I know the soldiers are just boys Firing guns like they’re toys Never knowing what they do To the people who are facing you But somewhere in my blood I can see a realm that’s good That goes beyond the tears And it’s been with me for years Somehow my Irish skin Shouts out to say “I am with Him” And the Jesus that I know Was Palestinian also so I must speak before the quiet Becomes an unholy riot And sets fire to the world I’ve never been just a girl
I run from him and my destiny Because I can’t think a man would ever want to be with me But it seems he does And it is twenty shades of love In every hue And in everything a man or woman could do Together, with each other, that can’t be done alone I see him on my phone And ask him to please be more clear He said, “clean your glasses, dear” And I spitfire in the sky Scream out, what if you die And leave me with child What will happen to my wild If I’m forced to birth Something that will hurt Like a bitch He says; “you’re a witch In the positive sense” I tell him he’s dense In a John Snow kind of way But he doesn’t get the things I say And my pop culture reference But in his own defence He stays silent as the grave And does nothing to save Himself from my onslaught And if there is anything my life has taught Me it is to appreciate What’s there because when you equate Permanence to the temporal You set yourself up for a fall And will he ever know That my love for him will never go But I can’t be the female he sees I was never afflicted with that disease In living life on my knees And giving more than I have Lost in guilt and feeling bad And he is more feminine than I But we both look into that which will die And come out smelling of infinity If you could set me up, could it be with he?
It’s either a famine or a feast So say the ones who have deceased And left us with their words And I may be away with the birds But I still have something left to impart Because that holy dart Struck me straight into the heart And said stand up and speak The one who says to the weak Or the cripple to walk I’ve been silent but now I talk And my voice is resonant With a power that’s heaven sent As the Christ makes Himself known In the garden that has grown In the absence of stares And somebody cares About who you are And every star That ever was must burn So why did my sky take a turn To spin around the sun I think I know the only One That will ever come to reside In the heart where love abide As I give the King his reign Please don’t ask me to do that again But if you do I will consent And acquiesce to your request To be the tower in the shade It’s something I cannot evade As I spill secrets to my GP And she looks back at me With frightened eyes My disguise Has grown thin Since I revealed myself to him And I can no longer lie by omission Or sell myself for a commission But bullet reverberate around my soul Leaving me riddled with holes Like the pillars of the GPO Who are the British in this, do you know?
The winter I endured Was far from pure The snow was tinged with scattered blood And it was anything but good As the forest turned to trees with eyes Out to get me in my disguise And they may say agenda But I would always defend ya From the forces that come to pass I sat in the young adults group before I hit twenty four They’d get you to talk behind a closed door Like it was some kind of club While you’re dosed up on some drug And I remember a boy who slurred his speech Is this the lesson that they teach To all of us That the broken trust Will lead us to the promised land But their broken promises are all sand As they try to dampen your spirit I’ll say it loud so that everyone will hear it And Teresa in the bed across Was shocked half to death by a girl boss And told it would heal her depression But here is my confession That, though I shook and though I wake I did it all for her sake Shouted to the dragon in her bed Said, follow me instead Coz I can carry the weight And she cannot stand the hate And I sat by Shauna’s side If this was the only reason I’d abide In that place for a thousand years I grabbed a bucket to catch their tears And I would face all of their fears With them so they wouldn’t be alone Now friends are clicking on a phone And I watch them search For a place to land that doesn’t hurt And they say social media is hell And I’ve certainly lived to tell The scéal And the tale Is long and well worn But I am certainly not forlorn When they put me on the “done” I’d rather take a hash brownie or scone Because what they prescribed Only ever made me feel less alive It’d be enough to drive a man to drink Or a woman to overthink The things she does by instinct But God cleared up the flood And I taste and see that the Lord is good And he will redeem The shackles that just fell from the queen And the Son of Man was crucified Just so that the Pharisees could abide In their positions of power But everyone who claims to tower Over another will be brought low You’re looking down so I thought I should let you know
I tried to scream but they stifled the cry Now I must watch the people die And it’s game over in the extreme As people wake up from the dream And wonder what it is they have been doing The empty hands they are pursing In the hope that it will bring them gold But they forget to look inside their soul To find what’s there to share The loaves and the fish and people care About each other A bomb drops and another mother Hears her child’s stifled scream For the last time as the seam Is burst on the dress we sew And there may be people in the know But they can’t see what we are I look over at him in my car As we drive to the sunset in my sky But I watched the fading from view lie In wait for every summer sun You wake up and you are the one Who will be the endeavoured in the replete The woman may have washed Jesus’ feet With her hair But were you there When he let her be And for free Forgave what held her down Like the men about the town Who used her for what she could Only sell in that type of wood And the trees holds whispers still Feel the weight of heavy will Signal summer in the breeze The weight is heavy but my knees Can finally lift their stone And if I must I will leave home
The look of men as they cross my path And something in their stillness dulls the wrath Of the God inside my heart One’s a musician, another makes art Another studied with me in school And we broke every rule That night in Tripod when we Kissed the edge of destiny And made two into the one we are He reminds me of a burning star In its effervescent red And I know he took other girls to bed But it doesn’t dim the look in my eye Because I know that I would die Just to see him smile And I haven’t seen him in a while But we are connected on a level beneath The roads that move under our feet Do you remember the night I chased you down As you tried to escape to your side of town And we talked about having a cup of tea As you looked over at me Wondering what I might mean But you are more than the dream Supping oxygen in the tent I wonder where those years went And you threw your arm around my neck In the days reality seems to wreck With it’s assurance of get to be But you were everything to me And somehow you still are I wonder if your heart Is still the same hue as it always was I needed you to know because It’s not every day you meet upon the trail A love that simply will not fail So when you look up into the sky Know that there’s a love that will never die And it burns for you here In this heart beyond the fear Of what they might say You showed your cards and I play My own onto the table so you see That you meant the whole world to me
The dying of the light Everything is gonna be alright Because the night Only comes so that the dawn Shows you what was never gone And we are in a cyclical spin But I am always in love with Him As, steadfast, He spans the dream And I only know how to be a queen Unselfish unto the sky And not afraid to die For what I Am Standing for what you cannot plan To come to be and sustain The fields do not refuse rain
Oh Elaine whose words of wisdom Would you use them to forgive them For me You were always so eternity As you encourage the best of me To keep on with the fight Like you’re the match and I ignite With every spark that fuse Uses the road to confuse Me with the skin I know And I did not let you go I just had to gain some ground So I could hear the sound Of alone together And the weather Brings me back to your door I knock and ask if you love me more For the absence that held There was something that weld You to me In those years infinity As we traversed the town And there was no trace of a gown As we blue jean the scene Like a Jane Eye and Lizzie dream I have the blind hero and you Are heir to a love most true That beats in both our hearts What is it that it imparts I hope that equanimity Still holds the best of me In the soul of you It means so much to me that us two Were what we are I still drive the car With the memory of you knocking on the window To show me left from right though And you do not let go I love you always and I hope you know
I have to love the man who saved my life He took a breath and breathed in the light And it’s textbook case, wanna be a wife But I don’t know if that’s alright Coz he showed me summer He showed me seasons He gave me love I gave him reasons And we both learned to multiply And, you know, never say die As the ache it comes in waves He’s Superman, it’s days he saves And I can’t ignite with anyone else He showed me trauma and mental health And I showed him strong and how to bear The music when the fabric tear And it’s oft the season to be making waves I’ve written him down on page upon page But I never come close to really say He is my love, is that okay Even if we are miles apart He made the unquenchable start Like the Divine made into form I’m kept ‘neath a coat that is warm Even on those freezing winter nights He speaks a word and my heart ignites To burn enough to keep the dark away From the place by the trees where we stay
You let them come and take me But you know they’ll never break me Not with their steady lines Although I may have had the strangest times When I walked rote lines far afield The defense is tough but the forwards yield And let me in, they let me through So I was able to send a message to you For all the good it did me, you didn’t listen And now my teardrops glisten Against the pavements I walk upon I know they look grassy but it’s gone The concrete jungle claims my love And I’m always calling the realms above Asking for a stay of leave But they just tell me to believe And trust and have faith in you And Lord knows I don’t know what else to do
I try so hard to be what you need But we both bleed From sensitivity and wounds life inflicts They say time heals but there’s something that sticks And it may be that you Just can’t bear to walk into What walked out into the sky And I wrestle with the fact that we all die And that everything is empty air But I know you were there In the years and I look You’re still an open book And I love to read Something in me was freed To read between the lines When will be our time To triumph like the lion over the sea It’s a crowd and they’re worshipping me And you, the steady stone Let me be with you alone You’re a monument of time And your poetry rhyme When you put it into verse You can be a little terse With me but I see Cracks of eternity Shining like light through the clay And I stay Away so you can have your space But I love your face And the example you set A love neither one of us forget As we age I get another page And scribble down my truth A shared youth And trial by fire But it only burns to take us higher Or deeper you could say A soulmate in the play Of form And the storm Batters the coast But somehow you still stand for what I love the most Truth and integrity A fierce abandon and wilful sincerity Matched only by your deep stare How is it to know we both are there In the eternal zone Just call me when you feel alone Coz I am here Though death may be ever near As it threatens me With the despair and identity That will never be enough To barricade against the love That shines relentless I think you may be Empress
I feel the age of youth slip away You know the one when every day Is the break of sunrise And you’re inoculated from the lies But the burden crushed the butterfly Crouched in a corner and the fever die Creeps in on me, I was fourteen And the scene Threatened to overwhelm The captain at the helm Of this great ship I own Now the game is thrown Fast forward to twenty three And everything has deserted to me In search of a grip on the ledge But there’s just a neighbour looking over the hedge Wondering if I’ll let go The sweat is pumping and you know There’s only so long I can hang on My fingers fail and doing wrong Falls into the dark I know I said it don’t leave a mark But it do I struggle to get over you Now ten years later, I’m a thirties blue And I must give time it’s due It soothes the welts with healing balm Replaces death with unearthly calm That seems to settle in my bones You are never alone And iPhones Only serve to annunciate A deeper connection in another state We have yet to learn I trust in fate and it burn
Paddy’s eyes were like stone opals And I wonder how he is Did he get his woman Did he get his wish Coz for a while he was mine And I can see the sparkles shine As they encase his face Not one hair was out of place And he had that devilish grin And a personality that would win You over with a smile I keep it on file But the memories fade And the bodies age Do you still have facial hair And a presence that is just there And we crossed paths in Spiral Tree I caught you stare at me As I wait by the bar Oh, if I could only know what you are Coz you escape definition And the early edition Of the Longford Leader (If you took time to read her) Announces our notice true What would my life look like with you By my side, coz you’re in my heart I watch the comet turn an arc And come back to flame Is it okay I used your name?
Is love pain? It’s a desire to be together again And the separate Kind of makes my hands shake As we’re torn asunder And all that you have of someone is their number And years drag you apart I am all heart With a thin veneer To protect me when danger comes near And the cracks on my shell Sure as hell wish me well And I grow older And bolder With confidence And the first defense Is the war you make The splinters in each breath you take As you draw some inspiration From the oxygen of your own creation To live anew I guess what I’m saying is I miss you
The grief stricken heroine Of the story I was told that God Always walked before me But where is He In this landscape bare and thin I wonder if I Should have ever let him in Coz the doors are closed On the avenues And I’m full Of missing you’s But it doesn’t seem to matter How many tears I cry They can never make the ones I love not die And we’re all just wasting time And trading places Is there a dimension Where I can see their faces And feel their soul Not everyone Is bound to get old And even when they do There comes a time When I’ve got to admit That they are not mine But one with the great Vast Spirit untold I’ve tried to stay strong But I let my cards fold And give in to cry Alone in my room If this is a dream Can I wake up soon Because the love is longing And just a wave And in the end There’s no one I can save But hold out my hands Empty towards And I’m not one who believes That prayers are just words But emissaries To another state Two thousand years Is a long time to wait For your saviour to return Is this place just a space to learn And if I do will it make worthwhile The ancient in the hidden smile That comes across me unbidden Into the land of the living As I patch another shoe Another hole, another you And the loss is chasming A vast abyss I wonder how people Don’t feel they miss What’s gone on and who have left Is life just a Cosmic Yes To discover And if I’m okay Does it mean I don’t love her As I try to do justice to her trust in me Has she partaken of Infinity That calls all souls Like gravity as the ball just rolls Into the place it’s meant to be Is forever my destiny As I swirl onwards and henceforth It’s like I feel no remorse As I give in to the swing of time And making messages in a bottle rhyme Too much to be true They are like little notes I’m leaving for you To say I am here And, my love, I’ve held you dear As the tide marches on One day we will all be gone Or will we, is it true Is there a space that is facing you Where all is held In little lines that you weld Into perfect stone And I have found my home Under the tree, swinging the branches down On the rope you made for us to go to town With and I will never forget And you’re still with me yet As I concede to give up the fight Let go of tears and be alright And live in the fullness of colour they’re due I might be getting up, not getting over you No matter what they say The ocean was not made to keep the waves at bay But lap the shore I don’t know if I’ve ever wanted anything more Than to be the light I look up to Heaven and hope that I’m right
It’s firing on all cylinders This slow rush to the bottom What about all the suffering It’s all forgotten All the men pulling triggers To blow up a bomb What happens to the world When we’re all gone And it’s raining in my ears And it’s not just astute Fanciful feelings While playing the brute And we can sigh And say that we mourn But what is birthed In the heat of the storm When the tides are turned And the way back is burned What is left but ashes When the enemy clashes With itself on the front And the innocent bear the brunt Of words unspoken Is peace just a token That we exchange With the shaking of hands And the conquering Of foreign lands To say that they’re discovered And civil and tame Do we know something Just because we give it a name Or does the essence elude Us when we exude The kind of confidence That shatters windows We let down the glass But we can’t see in though
I find furrows in the wood exploring with you And more often than not it’s just us two Brushing through reeds in Derrymacstuir When I’m in need I know I can call her To listen to my ramblings for a little while She cracks me up and makes me smile And there’s something of longing in her absent stare Like she’s wishing for something in particular to be there And I try to hold up, to carry the fort In the years in between as we man the fort Over the garden that’s grown between us There’s something of magic, there’s something of trust And I know I can rely on her steady heart In the years and seasons we’ve been apart In the moments when there’s an ocean in between We rip up the map coz it’s just a dream And all of the separation that seems to be Hanging in the air between you and me Is nothing in the magnitude of what’s always been I salute you, honey, coz you are the queen
Using money as a measurement for success All I get is lost in distress And unconsciousness As I cling to the wall Then the whole thing fall And I look at the rubble at my feet Why did God let us meet If he didn’t intend us to be together I scream in the morning air and the weather Utters no reply As dawn breaks over the seat where I lie And that was back in ten Number one on my list of men That I adore It’s like I found him on the shore I used to seek solace on But after I met you the whole thing was gone It burned up like a candle flame And all I have to hold is your name And I remember your hand so soft and cool That summer we met after school In the park And the field is green but the dark Is just around the corner and I Know what it is to be left out to dry Like washing on the line But don’t worry about it, it’s fine He looks deeply into my eyes And I’m momentarily without disguise Or words to play “I didn’t know you loved me that way” I stutter a response He’s not fooled The evening changed And the heat it cooled Down into a summer balm And all I feel is this unearthly calm Creeping over the edges of my perception The perfect kind of misdirection To make the minute hour long “I didn’t know you were that strong” And the wellspring bubbles to the surface “My God, aren’t you perfect” In the moment we hold each other I could never love another The way I love you I close my eyes and it’s just us two
The Poetry Book 