What can I do I’m just a speck of dust Born on a spy Wednesday that I can’t trust And do I really betray the saviour Or is it just something I pray for As I sit in St. Mel’s Cathedral And wonder if there is really a thing so evil As what we’ve been taught exists But I was flung into the mists And there was no option but to face the darkness I give who I was a parting kiss As I step out of her skin And into the one I’m walking in And I’m scared of death and revolution Because once an idea became a final solution That rested on the destruction And some babies are born by suction As mothers die just to give life And women sacrifice to be someone’s wife And men on the front Call those they hate some kind of cunt As they get their guns ready to fire Will humanity ever tire Of pulling the trigger As we only get bigger On a planet that stays the same size And people must show they’re having the time of their lives Or they do not exist And is it any wonder that I’m pissed Or that we have a crisis of suicide When it means so little to be alive The price that hangs above our head So vapid that some would rather be dead Than face into the storm I choose to weather And wouldn’t we all rather be lying in the heather Soaking in the moor But the poor Echo in my mind And ask me not to leave them behind And wealth is not a measure of riches So I just kick it with my bitches And find a way to keep what is precious in me Even if it means that I don’t let anyone see The cog that turns my wheel Must I repeat, don’t be ruled by what you feel In the age of Iraq And an atrocity you cannot take back Not as hard as you try There are those who send the wounded to die As a salve for what they need to do And I passed a homeless man who had not one but two Limbs amputated And I may be educated But I can never know how that feels And something in me just reels As the veteran sings And thanks me heartily for the things I give to him Money and a smile but how could a country win When we are one humanity And consciousness knows only one way to be And that is to embrace the other For every man is my brother And holds my empty hands As the hourglass is spilling sands Onto an eternal beach What does Earth School teach?
There are deviations from the norm And some people said it was just bad form As she excommunicated me from the religion I love Because I fit around that hand like a glove And she told me I was too perfect and pristine And it became a nightmare before I woke from the dream And found out what God really mean But I still bear the scar From the mark made by what you are And I know you’re deeper and true And it’s just that the losing of you Did more for me than having you could do And I became spacious as the sky is blue As open and wide and as far as the eye can see When I lost the will to live out my destiny And fought to find a spark in the dark of night And no one thought to ask if I was alright Because I was the villain In your own personal film About how you were the victim of fate And people love someone to hate And they gathered around my ghost And I watched her lose what she loved the most In this melee And now I’m free Of all that gathers at the hem And you would do it to me again If I gave you the chance So I took away the music that used to make you dance To the sound of us Do you hear the quiet of broken trust And I lean on the two of the old brigade I close my eyes and pour it into Ciara and Sinéad Because I know they have my back And just because I feel that I lack What I was before Doesn’t mean there isn’t something to adore In the statue I’ve become There’s wisdom in the age you lose when you are young And I wish you the best of all that there is Because the rest of what I am is His In the sudden sun that dawned upon the glen And I close my eyes and whisper Amen To every prayer I’ve ever uttered I open my eyes like windows I had shuttered
I get this feeling, it’s like an irritation And it has me running to his station To see what I can’t download But the road Turns and I can’t see What he ever meant for me When he changed his tune Turned his head with me in the room And I know I can’t be mad Should let him off with the feeling bad Because I feel the spiral That has somehow gone viral On YouTube And even the coolest dude Is susceptible to The weakness of being open to A failing of words And following the herds Like a basket case That some demon somewhere wants to erase I stepped into the stream And the nightmare of a dream Came to show its face Did I really need to embrace The lowest of form So that I could be warm When he’d look at me I can’t hide the gaze that just see Into mystery And he thinks he so complex and he is so proud Of all that he does not say out loud But its echoing from you Like a ripple as I dip my toe into The river we were Before you met the ocean of her When you plunged into its frigid storm Did you remember the moment we were born In some distant haze Not I look as your gaze Tries to rest on me on the sand But I could never be that land Not when it’s arid and dry And I never did mean to make you cry It’s just I’m plush and green And I take the one seat ahead of the scream That violates lines And you’ve said it before, like a thousand times How you love it when She whispers prayers like an amen And I’m sure you do Pull needles though The jumper you embroider And I hope you enjoy her But don’t blame me for the why The resolve you never had to die In a fiery fuse I look at you two and I just bruise In the place where the picture meets my skin And then I walk into a room and meet him And he’s just like you But a bit more dangerous and outspoken too If that could be real Possible that I could feel That way again In a hall of willing men Who open their palms To me like they are giving alms To the girl I was for what I’ve become I was beautiful when I was young
I’m letting the monstrous go, the one that tried to eat me But it could not defeat me Because I hold Jesus in my core And I know who loves me more As they batter me with clubs and stones As I beg them to just leave me alone And Barry smirks and grins But I don’t have so much time for him Because I feel the pulverise try to latch a grasp And the asp Bites but does not sting And no diamond ring Is forthcoming But I like who I’m becoming As the doctor looks at me with plaintive distress And if I had to guess I’d say that she fears death But then she deals with it every day, I must not forget And tries to stave it off every way she can But I accept that every man Must one day give way to the sea And let the spirit become what it’s always been to me As natural as breathing or being born Why do the people look so forlorn As they contemplate A realm they cannot estimate With the power of the mind I let go all that I’m leaving behind And I feel myself losing it But I think that I’m choosing it As I walk towards the sun I realise that I’m the One
The line I shouldn’t cross Tries to tell me who’s boss With it’s threats and warnings And just because it’s storming Doesn’t mean that’s not how it’s meant to be Is the weather messing with me And I hear the call of Frances deep Behind every promise that I keep Somewhere int he wood Of the lines of feeling good As I surfed that wave And all the people I was going to save With my wilderness heart And the love that God had set apart For you and I But does the water die When it slips through your fingers And are the bringers Of the other side Really merchants of doom All I can say is I know when you’re in the room Coz I feel you before I see you But there are days I wouldn’t want to be you As I feel the current pushing forth Past the boundaries of no remorse And you found a safe haven with her And I don’t want to risk it on what we were So I can’t be your friend Coz I’m only ever waiting for it to end So we can take up where we left off And in that kind of love someone must pay the cost Of losing what they thought to hold So I put the letters in bold I love you but I’m letting you go I’ll hold on forever though, just so you know
Am I the Jolene of the story As he implored me To just let him be And I feel a rankling in my dignity Why would he take this story down As if it would destroy his town And I have no beef with his girl But I had to tell him that the world Revolves around his sun of stars And I was chasing cars Around my head in my room When I was fifteen and kissed the doom As it met you there And I know you care But I rip the page from the typewriter Because my friend said I would have to fight her To get to you And it’s not something I’ve a mind to do I just wanted you to know That I have not let go
I rail against making shitty art Because I’ve got to do it with heart But sometimes I’ve just got to pour the cracks and creases With a love that never ceases As I flex my knuckles to breaking point And somewhere a baby anoint Into a chasm of a different making Am I labouring under what I’m forsaking The church and motherhood Do I give both up for good Because I’m nearly thirty four And I’ve been told to make shakes or the floor Will drop out from under my feet In the instance of a heartbeat And is it just to reclaim the child within That I want one with him Though I’d never say Not face to face anyway In my hidden stance I defy All the parts of him that try to die Against my will Does he even know what he would kill If he thought to take the drink and spill It out over the ground I don’t make a sound As the earth quakes But something in me breaks As though he’s taking a hammer to it And nothing, not even his wit Can put it back together Are we all summer weather Friends And when it all ends Will anything remain If I play this track again
There is pain and there is peace And there is a moment where both cease To mean anything at all And I’m staring at a wall Just tap tapping my pen And I feel it all again And it is as though the universe rehearse The plaid shirt poetry in my verse As it speaks to me through life And I always thought I’d be a wife But that doesn’t seem to be my thing I would prefer truth over a ring And I can’t condense this immaculate soul Into something that is just a role For there is love and there is joy But can I tie myself to a boy Forevermore And forsake the soul I adore Or is there a way he can open the expanse So that both our spirits will dance Together in unison But he just chooses to get his gun And shoot at cacti in the desert I question his poor self worth But he doesn’t seem to be inclined to rise And settles like sand at the bottom of my eyes And the glass is half empty, never full I bathe his wounds with cotton wool So it will not inflict too much pain But how can a man stand this much rain And I know the fields are green so There is much that will grow And an abundance of fertility And for all his virility I can’t put my finger on what isn’t gone I just know I can’t ignore our song As I pull back from the book and gram Some metaverse serving someone’s plan In the ether It’s not me either It’s a seed to sow I hold on, just so you know And though you beg me to let go It’s just not in my make up So why don’t you just wake up And see the sky above your head it will keep you from the dread That forms moats around your castles And I know you want a girl with tassels But I don’t think that’s what I am I said to him as I hold his hand And in confusion iridescent blue Meets my own in a new hue
I miss David more than I can explain I look outside and it’s rain And it was always sun when he was around Like he gave meaning and life to sound And he burst colour into the scene As though I was alive within the dream And now all is dull and grey And what is it that people say Life is what you make it And love is deep so don’t forsake it But I don’t know how to utter your name Without making you take the blame For all that we could never be I saw you down on one knee Proposing to me But you laugh in my face and the indignity Of the moment have me cracking open The shell that was the kernel of hoping For more than just words on the page And the silent rage Pounds against the walls of my castle And I wonder is romance worth the hassle If it means I must go up against Your past and your present tense And maybe you’ll never know what it meant When you accepted the letter I sent
It’s the little things Like wedding rings And fire that ignite And I hear that you like What you see And when the person is me I blush and then sigh And I don’t say goodbye To you again Coz I’ve made my peace with the notion of men How you can’t show affection Without them wanting to add you to their collection Of dolls sitting on the wall But that isn’t me at all Except when I’m walking by the rows And the feeling shows As I smirk And I didn’t think that this would work But it does And the story starts because I let you in the door When I’m walking on the ground floor Of the building grey But the door unlocks when you say Hello to me I didn’t think that I would be Clutching at straws at thirty three
I thought God could only ever be found In the complete absence of sound In the silence that descends On my room as the riverbends From lavender to primrose and flame And I wake up from my name And it all seems so perfect, true Til I met you And it all cascaded down You wanted to run my town So you could have a girl in the wings And, my, you love the way she sings But you don’t understand her And you demand her To be as you would please Up on her tiptoes or down on her knees But neither one will ever be me So I let you go free Though I love you with all of my heart I won’t make pain just to make art Or love Or fit like a glove Into a biological cog I dream of a fire burning a log While we lie on the rug before it And you know I would adore it A blanket made just for two But it never was me and you We spit fire into each other’s veins And in the aftermath cleaned up the bloodstains On the carpet where we fought It was in darkness that the ring was wrought And cascaded into eternity You asked me to burn with thee But I let go that crime And am absorbed into the sublime And even if they don’t get me here It doesn’t mean I’ll run to you dear If you make a fool of me When I just wanted life school and mystery To encompass all we were I dropped the glass when I saw her And it broke and shattered on the floor You don’t even hide that you adore Another pair of eyes And my trust in you dies Slowly but surely in the awe That you could begin the Great Thaw
The grief crumples me like a deck of cards And no one knows how hard It got in the midst of the night And I contemplated the death of the light Coz everywhere I looked it was black And the dealer stack Everything against me My best friend resents me And that person that wants to take me down Looks like she runs this town As she commands the sea And turns the whole tide upon me And as it rushes and consumes Something pulls me from those rooms Into a place I’ve never been But somehow had already seen Maybe in a dream or through a past life And every man looks for a wife When he reaches a certain age I just reach for the page Because the immortal hue Has stopped shining from you It’s like you buried it somewhere When you say that I just don’t care And it’s impossible to get through to you So I say goodbye too As you hang up the phone Could you just leave me alone?
What is the call of New York And why is there a fork In the road and on the table And I am not able To leave it all behind Even if I must go out of my mind Or be labelled as such Because I love you so much And I couldn’t be there when you died Because the man asked me how I am and I cried So I got locked up in St. Pat’s again And it may be the will of men To contain what they don’t understand But I look at you and you just say “it’s grand, I won’t leave you a grá mo chroí” And even though my broken knee Falls to the floor I know there’s more Than just screaming into the air “She’s not there, she’s not there” And it was all I could do not to hit my head off the wall And they console me but I fall Into their lap and rebel against the constraint Of being okay with the colour she paint Because everyone has their own way But I must do what she say If I’m not to be medicated And I may be educated But it has been the work of my life To make sure I don’t become a wife And go down with the ship Or the forests that they equip With cutting trees And the birds and the bees Buzz around my head But I would give it all up just to lay in bed And mourn And look forlorn Because all that shattered glass Never got me an A in class It only ever drew blood Now I’m standing in the wood Trying to catch the soul that escape And the red cape Couldn’t stop the passage of time And my only crime Was trying to pause the air Now I look at your chair and you’re not there
The tears that flow It’s been nearly twenty years since you let go And people tell me to move on But how do I ignore the space where you’re gone A beacon of love and trust And I know they just aren’t fussed Coz to lose a grandmother is par for the course Something common, like weddings and divorce But no one told me what it would be like to have you ripped From the fortress I had equipped With everything I had So nothing bad Could happen And you were just napping In the kitchen when Rocky lay down by the settee And I had had fourteen years when you showered love on me And I know I am closer to the grave Than the point that could save You from the monsters that eat your soul But somehow I know that Jesus made you whole And the cancer spreads I’m crying in bed But there’s nothing I can do I can’t heal you At least not yet But there’s something I will never forget Like when you told me good things come to those who wait And I trudge through the hate Coz I know your advice is true And there was wisdom that had its home in you And you made rhubarb tart for us all I take a place by the wall But you wink at me And save the biggest piece and for free You offer me the whole damn world I’ll always be your girl
The darkest shame is that I followed the clues That I thought would lead me to you And there were blue chalked streets and bears They say the fabric of my sanity tears When I believe in secret tomes And become one who roams The avenues of misty eyed tears As the date nears And I cannot bear the truth So I pulverise my own youth By putting myself in their hands Now after slipping sands Have run the hourglass down I still feel like I want to drown Some where in all this emotion It’s as though the road is an ocean I cannot climb into And it becomes a sprint to The door And I couldn’t have loved them more But somehow I feel the wilderness in my bones And I refuse to answer my two phones When they call out to me And I could’ve missed our history In the avenue I let bleed Because I know you need Who I used to be But its just that they have destroyed me In their attempts to keep the dark away I just lay in the bay And it was not San Francisco Or some kind of cool fuckin’ disco It was like being drawn on a string So he could live on everything He ever thought he was And I take the hit because I want him to be sky high And not afraid to die A death on the floor I just want to prove I love him more
The Angel burst through my skin And in that moment I was One with Him The impervious, the crystalline And some people do hard time Trying to live up to A purpose they are longing to Embody And shoddy I wander the streets Til something in me meets The end of the road So I lay down the load And ask to be taken to the sky It is not the same as to die I whisper to Stephen That there are things I can’t help believing And I tell him that I write He flexes his eyebrows and I wonder if the sight Will ever leave my mind That he did not leave me behind In that moment true Like she had done too In the moments that we held And she weld Her steel to the iron It masks the way I’m lying About all I am And the plan Scares me to death And I spill the regret That I’ve been holding in my soul To someone who would roll The waves upon my shore He shone on me like an open door And in the midst of that smile I was okay for a while
The closeted feminist But now can I resist All the chains they put on me Say I must believe if I wanna be free Coz I don’t take sides And love just abides And lush is the grass of verdant green And what is carried out in the name of the queen As she sits on her throne I’m just myself when I’m on my own With no moniker And I don’t wanna be her Of stand alone pride I trust in the rush of being alive Do you see what I paint At the sight of blood I get faint And I waver every time I see Proof of what I don’t feel is me Can you just let go I’m not what you say I am, you know And how we’ve been trained But your conditioning is in vain As I collect All the things you say are wrecked Do you get what I mean Is this life but a dream Coz you can’t rely On everything that is destined to die And I Stand up just to let go Pull the needle through on the bed I sew Til it’s all but done I don’t think I am the only one To feel the heady weight of foolish glee You can stay on time, but it wouldn’t be me
My time as a drifter And the time he wanted to shift her In Hillstreet in the dark And I lost a part Of myself when I agreed To the part of me that it freed In the lines in between It was the worst part of the dream I had just been set free from the blocks And I was all about breaking locks And seeing how far I could take it But I didn’t mean to wake it Up from where it lay And it is not okay That when the dragon breathes fire You blame me for the post that I conspire To burn in my flame I am not within my name I am barely brimming at the edges And I can see over the hedges As the man trims them with his machine And I am who I’ve always been But that seems to do me no good If I can only find salvation in the wood And when I’m on my own If I could’ve I would’ve known Twenty years ago But it took time for the life to show Through the facade of the veil And I set sail On a foreign sea To find the part of me That I lost in the melee Do you think you could just be a friend to me?
Did you think I would wait for you There’s not a chance in hell As if you give me permission to be myself Only under your sun that the cards I’ve been dealt Could align with mystical forces But you’re all about the divorces That could happen if you’re not a really nice guy Because you’re afraid to die And the woman you love is fearless and true But she is no match for you When you put those glasses on I saw it and so I was gone In a heartbeat and I’d skip town again If I’d catch that frown on men Because I know what it means And it may be the stuff of dreams But I’m no puff pastry to wear And I don’t need you to care About me And free Is fine But there was a moment you were mine And we shared a soul But you break the begging bowl As you hold it out to me Cut my hands on glass that trusted for free And I thought you had changed So I let the atoms rearrange And came back to your door Only for you to say you don’t want me anymore Well let me make it simple for you It’s goodbye like you wanted it to
The darkness that ensued And all I could do was brood Over the way things had come to be Confinement was the only mystery I could bear to hold So I ran from the fields of gold To the chains in the city And it was more self pity Than it was bravery I couldn’t face the truth And the pillars of my youth Are falling around me Now I have no grandfather to ground me So I just grasp at empty air Because you are no longer there To catch me when I fall And see me play football Down at the pitch Making a switch With Linda on the field But the wind blows and I yield To it and let you go It was harder than you know To relax my grasp On the part of me that was born to last And I couldn’t cry tears Despite the years We spent together And the weather Turned suddenly snow And somehow I just know That it’s time And my crime Is that I couldn’t bear to face This aspect of the human race That we must say goodbye To the people we love as they die And I’m hearing voices The people in Pat’s say it’s just noises But I sense that I can hear More than just the ones I hold dear From the other side I think they are still alive In some other realm And at the helm Is a spirit greater than we can understand He is not ruled over by man But free to birth into the world of form And just because my body’s warm Doesn’t mean that I’m separate From the ones my heart equate With eternal love And if I no longer have to look above But within to find you there Would you know that I still care?
I hold back what I really want to write Because I’m scared that it might be shite Or even worse profanity Paying testament to insanity Held beneath the skin I walk It’s only trouble that I talk As I head to the abyss Fearing for a night to kiss And they held me in a healing balm The doctor took my shattered arm And led me to the door They drove me there and what’s more Is I kind a liked it when Barry called my name again Out like a prophet does Jesus Lord knows how I need it When I’m in the smoking room With Aoibhín and the sonic boom As we draw rainbows on the wall In pens my parents brought me from outside Outside the cavern that keeps me alive For the time being It’s a different way of seeing But it’s true enough to say I couldn’t have had it any other way And the doctor mumbles and utters vague treatises under his breath On what the war with self does to make you forget What you have come to be But I cannot shake the feeling that he cannot see Just who he is talking to “Delusions of grandeur, we’ll add that one to The long list we made of your faults” And I kinda get sick of opening vaults For them to plunder my wealth In the name of mental health And I wonder what they’re preserving Or what God they are observing When they make idol tropes And then they tell Shauna how to cope With the fact that she can’t bear To get out of the clothes that she seems to wear Each and every single day But I won’t let her leave that way So I go and sit by her side When she’s in the horrors and I abide I feel it fall away from her grasp You know that bitch, that poisoned asp And I crush its head on the floor You’re not taking aim at someone I adore Even if it’s by her doing It’s not something you should be pursuing In any eventuality Me, St. Pat’s and immortality
I’m on medication Change the TV station Because I am strong And I have done nothing wrong But I want to reveal How I feel For all the broken and shamed For all of the days that cannot be named Because of the darkness they emanate And you feel trapped in that state When you are in it And the Church just says don’t sin it But I’ve got to believe there’s another way To articulate, to say That your crime is being innocent and not knowing how To deal with the weight in the fields you plough And I want to issue to sky That there is something that doesn’t die In the perforate You don’t need to equate What you do with what you are You are born from the scattered star That once imploded So though they may have goaded You into submission Remember your original condition And that shine God is neither yours nor mine But the infinite You are not alone tonight
I’m on medication Change the TV station Because I am strong And I have done nothing wrong But I want to reveal How I feel For all the broken and shamed For all of the days that cannot be named Because of the darkness they emanate And you feel trapped in that state When you are in it And the Church just says don’t sin it But I’ve got to believe there’s another way To articulate, to say That your crime is being innocent and not knowing how To deal with the weight in the fields you plough And I want to issue to sky That there is something that doesn’t die In the perforate You don’t need to equate What you do with what you are You are born from the scattered star That once imploded So though they may have goaded You into submission Remember your original condition And that shine God is neither yours nor mine But the infinite You are not alone tonight
New season, can you accept it with grace And it’s been an age since I’ve seen your face And for all my intuitive understanding I can never reply to what you are demanding In splintered prose And less travelled roads It all gets so tiresome and weary I just want someone to see it clearly And I had thought that you Had peered through The vast abyss or canyon cavern To something more than a tavern With spirits and ale A chalice that is not up for sale I support the columns because should they fall There would be an unholy clatter in the hall Like that time we shattered glass Or broke the branch of class With our own brand of free Now he’s talking to me And it’s like all my dreams have come true In the midst of me and you And absent weight A moment to forget the hate And all that weighs us down We could be the coolest folks in the town Your words, not mine And every crime Has its resolution And the solution Is meeting them where they are Every person, I don’t care who you are Has a star At the core of their being Even though they may not be seeing The light sublime I wouldn’t trade it in if it were mine
I feel a connection with him And I felt the lights dim When the electricity fluctuated And they’re obsessed with who he dated In his late youth The fake press can be a brute As they report Without making a fort Of due diligence true And I fell in love with you Coz I could see that look in your eyes You know the one that never dies And I know you were with her I just don’t know what for Because she is beautiful and serene But her eyes only ever see the dream And you, too real, burn her candle The flame between, too hot to handle And it starts a decade long war And the streets may be paved with tar But they don’t take New York from me The one you sang about in the days you were free Of the burden that you wear Like flowers in her hair Pink and blushing and young and sweet Then the two of us meet And you promise me eternity In a ring that spins infernally Like a dial on your heart You don’t have to swear to take part In the love that we share I know because I was there And you care More than I gave you credit due Now I’m back writing odes to you Like that dream of a YouTube scene Where you propose And it doesn’t matter what clothes I wear You always meet me there
I wanna take a trip to the states Because when the air escapes From my chest It is the place that knows me best And I found myself in New York City In Brooklyn and no one was with me Until you broke into my dream And told me that the queen Wanted her king back And it is a massive attack To know that the strikes will hit Every girl you call a bitch As she rises to claim her power And I watched the demon shower All the shards on me Til a little girl set me free I ran out of my building half afraid Because the sun was in the shade And she took my hand Asked me to help her cross the sand To the other side because the cars Were passing by like shooting stars And I could only think “you must be an angel” So I stood and paused until the ladle Was full with soup to drink And I took a second to just think And looked left and right Til the coast was clear and white As a ghost I led you across the trail It was Flatbush and it didn’t fail To live up to it’s reputation But as I watch you catch a dream with elation And skip away into the neighbourhood I thought God the Great must be good To send a little precious child To save me from my thoughts so wild That had convinced me I was masked By an evil that was dark Because I reached out my hand to touch And it, damn well, exploded the plug It blew out with a bang And I was scared because my phone rang At the exact moment the die was cast And I reached back into the past To pluck an apple from a tree And now he is one with me In the land of duality To break like waves on the shore And I can’t take it anymore I gotta get outta here But it becomes crystal clear That kundalini is electric And when life gets hectic It slows you to a glacial pace And you drop out of the human race Into something deeper and dynamite I don’t think I’m keeping this thing quiet
I watch it fly into the sky And, you know, everyone cry But not everyone wakes while they live It happens when you forgive That girl who took a lightning strike And aimed it at me but, like, I turn it into some kind of illumination And now every tv station Plays my tune Like I’m the only one in the room And I meet someone I would like To meet in the dead in the night Sneaking out into the grass I didn’t think our love would last But it’s been fifteen years And we’ve weathered rain clouds emptied of tears As they fall on us And I trust Him to do just what he craves But he’s the Superman who saves Me from the boring grey He is like a sun ray That sets all the colours a throb And I give him what he wants to rob From me And dignity Won’t keep this secret quiet It’s always been a riot In that avenue And his blue Offsets my red Til we’re white light in bed Making one with the serene This is beyond the dream And they say twin flames reside In the place where duality hides Its face from something so pure He’s what I bank on and I know for sure That we’ll always be eternal prose And he might be the one who chose Me, but on my side I’m just glad he’s alive In this incarnation And my education Taught me to always say no But with him I’m like, let’s go And get on with the show You claim to make But I’ll be no oven to bake Some buns for the eating I gotta be the one you’re keeping For forever in a sigh Our love will never die
There where I was I stood defenceless Out in the open plain And she brought the rain dance again and again And it’s not the men It’s the love I bear For those who live to tear The fabric of what we are For the sake of a star That will never rise In our constellation I’m suddenly at Longford train station Waiting for someone to arrive And I realise you are alive As you were And you’re not with her You’re standing alone Looking at your phone And I’m sitting in my car Just staring at the place where you are But I look away Because I cannot say What I will buy If I could only try With the money I have And the feeling bad Was a season Without reason I abridge At least God let you live For all these years And stemmed my tears In the flow I didn’t realise you loved me, you know
Always and forever in bubblegum pop I will always be something that you are not And strive to reach But something they cannot teach Is that you are what you are And everyone burns like a star Til its collapse into a black hole The light returns to its soul Somewhere in the deep In a universe where you cannot speak Of the secrets they utter And the shutter Flies shut on the window As I see her with him, though And drop out of the sky Because some people want to die When they see their lover With another But all I feel is gratitude That she holds the heart of that dude And keeps him warm Because every storm Crashes upon my shore And everything means something more Than it’s first inception And your deflection Does nothing to dim The weight of worlds I am to him I see it in his eyes And that never dies Once it is born So forlorn Though so replete The lady washed the man’s feet With her hair I know because I was there
I sit and wait for what wants to come through But it only ever speaks of you And what we are Some far distant star Shines on us both And the coach We took to the sea Set the both of us free You can trust me I will be here Always, for you, dear Though you may not see me in the leaves You don’t need to believe Just trust and open to what is And I know that she is his But I welcome her care and her devotion I can feel it in his emotion As he speaks to me And eternity Is on his breath But, still, he does not forget Because almost never crossed the line And we are us for all of time In every winter that the trees shake I will be there and when you wake You will see my subtle stance I’ll love you always in this dance
Marriage and prose And less travelled roads Did I find mine With a stranger who just took a moment of my time And let me be He let me go free When I felt the fear encapsulate Because he might want to date Me And eternity Is all I know But I have to let you know I don’t do boys and girls I do you are my world And you have become Everything I thought when I was young As we just talk And we just walk You lift my bag And I drag My feet behind me But do not mind me I’m just shy And I’m gonna love you til the day I die It’s not your choice But I raise my voice To let you know That this love won’t let me go And find another You’re like a lover I never had And the feeling bad Does not eclipse The anticipation of your lips On mine There was a time I thought we were naught Til I saw the line you bought With the skyline in the air So I let you know I care In stuttering vowels And the wolf of death, he prowls On the edge of conversation And education Can’t save us here But she just might, my dear And I do not begrudge The way you choose to express your love And find it reflected In the heart you have selected To be yours And the water pures As it pours through the filter And time will wilt her But it will not change The way the atoms rearragnge To form a sphere I will always be with you, dear
The empath walks and she believes In everything she finds upon her sleeves To be hers But all the wars That people fight In their own candlelight Are open season And she finds the reason To live And forgive The girl that broke her heart And left her in the darkest dark In the age of fourteen There were nights I couldn’t dream At all And every wall I ever faced Was somehow out of place In this vast open space Like stars in the darkness of the case We are all held within And the notion of sin Is archaic and grey And I don’t believe in it anyway As I make my First Confession I sit in the pews wondering what expression Of grief I should portray Because I cannot find the way To see evil inside of myself Everything is ancient and on the shelf And I take it down and dust off The trust that all is not lost As dawn breaks and I realise That I am more open skies Than I ever was land I see you there and I take your hand And lift you up And if I ever thought I knew love It was this moment here You are my eternal, dear
The machinations work And they hurt As I make myself small To appeal to you all And it’s not because I hold a grudge That I trudge through all this sludge Into the mists of time And my rhyme Gets relegated Into something somebody stated One time in the hall I hold myself back and the freefall Is more than I can bear And I tear In the fabric rush And everything I seem to touch Turns to ash And I can’t get it back Anymore than I ever could And the wood Is the only place I can find peace From the threat of the decease As it throws patterns on the wall And it’s not part of me at all Anymore Because that closed door Opened into a new sky And I realised I could never die
Living in the hills I’ve known my own share of pain And the west coast is full of rain Because it faces the Atlantic And don’t be so dramatic When you say that the wiles of Connemara Has shades of Scarlet O’ Hara With her red hair and wild ways I have to say I cannot leave what he says When he talks about a soulmate And it more than a person that you date It is someone to whom your heart is bound I fell for him without a sound And he tried so hard Did he know that he had the card That would trump a royal flush And the seats were so plush As we sat in the comfort of each other He had the safety of a brother But the love of a fire brimming flame And I didn’t remember his name Because he went by something else And I was a little worried about his mental health But he’s always been my choice And ever since I found my voice I’ve been searching for ways to say I always want to be with you, okay?
There is wonder in the dance And you think about a second chance To do everything over But would you take it if you didn’t know her And had to live the death again The taking away of women and men And I know I may be traumatised By a past life where people died Beyond my control And there is a shake, rattle and roll That soothes my soul Like an old car on the way to the Mega Bowl To celebrate a birthday or two Eleven years old and walking with you Into our teens And all the screams Fall silent sometimes There was horror in this childhood of mine As I lay in my bed and dreamed Then woke up paralysed and screamed And ran out of the doors Into the light and love implores Me to just take it easy But I’ve never been so breeze As I was at twenty two Just after discovering you And the lightness held In the depths that weld Themselves to my heart I know it’s about the taking part But somehow I’ve always wanted to win The prize, the guys, the loyalty of him But it doesn’t work that way And all I can really say Is that the writing has called me since I was yay high And I know the people die In foreign lands At the hands Of those who claim to be just And broken dust Falls like paper burnt to cinders Ashen and my fingers limber Yearn to call them out Like darkness in my own self doubt Is the world on a turning point to see That good can be bad when it isn’t me And I would never do you wrong But when people belong To a tribe and dwell They can inflict all kinds of hell On those who have no way to defend The hearts that break only to mend Themselves in solid steel Can you blame the way they feel When they suffer in the rubble And the ground shakes to signal trouble In the outer sphere If your compassion doesn’t extend to fear Then is it real And can I heal And be the wholeness to embrace The people that the pain deface And I watch his eyes As a child cries Before his lens Is it too late to make amends And ask for a ceasefire to be held I know the North of Ireland well And somehow it has been a fragile peace Not watching another youth decease In the wreckage of flame Everyone has a name That they go by To their loved ones and the lie Is that there is no way to be When you’re running from history
The look of men as they cross my path And something in their stillness dulls the wrath Of the God inside my heart One’s a musician, another makes art Another studied with me in school And we broke every rule That night in Tripod when we Kissed the edge of destiny And made two into the one we are He reminds me of a burning star In its effervescent red And I know he took other girls to bed But it doesn’t dim the look in my eye Because I know that I would die Just to see him smile And I haven’t seen him in a while But we are connected on a level beneath The roads that move under our feet Do you remember the night I chased you down As you tried to escape to your side of town And we talked about having a cup of tea As you looked over at me Wondering what I might mean But you are more than the dream Supping oxygen in the tent I wonder where those years went And you threw your arm around my neck In the days reality seems to wreck With it’s assurance of get to be But you were everything to me And somehow you still are I wonder if your heart Is still the same hue as it always was I needed you to know because It’s not every day you meet upon the trail A love that simply will not fail So when you look up into the sky Know that there’s a love that will never die And it burns for you here In this heart beyond the fear Of what they might say You showed your cards and I play My own onto the table so you see That you meant the whole world to me
She makes a pinprick to draw blood Just to see if she could To see if I’m still real If I’m alive, if I feel And it’ll heal But I remember the shark in her eyes When she met me that day in the car So far away from where you are Looking at your ship go out Before I was submerged in my own self doubt As it washes to shore And I couldn’t have loved you more But it wasn’t enough Coz when times got tough All the pencils failed me and broke And I could feel my breath start to choke On the words I spit out at you Coz you don’t love me too Or so they say or so she says Coz she’s familiar with your ways In real life I’m just the wife Who is too close to see In her eyes that all he wants is me Submerged in the subterranean wildflower bloom And I’d know if he was in the room Coz electricity flows from his pulse I describe it and she revulse At the thought he could shock me awake I gave it up for your sake
I don’t wanna be your whore Like she did in the time before And she’d buy anything you sell Plies you with whiskey so you might tell Her you love her so But there are places you won’t go Even for a trinket she’d offer All you want is to suffer Wholeheartedly And rather smartly You hold your hand out to me We dance and it is free And I wonder what it feels like to know she’s only there Because you’re willing to pay your share Of the coin But you can’t solder what you want to join Together in sweet surrender I know you remember Coz how could you forget And it’s there for you yet If you want to taste the apple that grows on the tree You know you shouldn’t but you ask me What it feels like to be Still young and free And I say it’s like sleeping outside your door Waiting for the one you adore To realise he loves you more Than his story on the second floor
Is it futile to spill my words on paper In the hope I’ll get famous And you’ll see them later And reconnect with me It’s been an age since I set you free But you still mean so much and history Lives in my soul Somewhere you will not grow old But I can’t be held by a line But is it me who’s drawn it all this time And I’d wink at you and smile Do you wanna come with me for a while Just a season or two We’re making love Not making new Bodies to fill this earth And be consumed by the hurt That seems to issue from the core But I just love you more With all the time that’s passed Did you doubt this would last?
Oh Elaine whose words of wisdom Would you use them to forgive them For me You were always so eternity As you encourage the best of me To keep on with the fight Like you’re the match and I ignite With every spark that fuse Uses the road to confuse Me with the skin I know And I did not let you go I just had to gain some ground So I could hear the sound Of alone together And the weather Brings me back to your door I knock and ask if you love me more For the absence that held There was something that weld You to me In those years infinity As we traversed the town And there was no trace of a gown As we blue jean the scene Like a Jane Eye and Lizzie dream I have the blind hero and you Are heir to a love most true That beats in both our hearts What is it that it imparts I hope that equanimity Still holds the best of me In the soul of you It means so much to me that us two Were what we are I still drive the car With the memory of you knocking on the window To show me left from right though And you do not let go I love you always and I hope you know
I still remember the laughter of Doireann Fox Or the way Macken undid all the locks The way the hills just cascade With the joy of the girl they’ve saved And I got full high on the scene But I was kicking it with a wonder dream As everything is fluorescent light The vibrant colours to ignite What I saw in a storm And when the air is heavy you get warm But it’s too close in stifling heat The crack of lightning at my feet The year Deirdre broke my heart Took everything, tore it apart And left me reeling for an age So I took refuge on the page As I transcribed a degree of hell Like Taylor Swift and All Too Well In monuments to that time I collapsed and all was fine So I woke up to the day The light within that cannot stay Coz it can’t go anywhere The sheet of me that it tear Until I grow to realise What is behind each pair of eyes And Ciara is a steady hand She looks at me and I am grand Coz she so deeply understand The winter that I had not planned Or Sinéad in rocks and stone With her I am not alone As she regaled what was said It’s all just torment in my head The firing cinders, the blistering heat The feeling that I cannot meet Even one more day of time Then I blinked out of what was mine And into a sunshine that will brew It all reflects the heart of you Into ever deepening soul The school of cool as the waves roll
I try so hard to be what you need But we both bleed From sensitivity and wounds life inflicts They say time heals but there’s something that sticks And it may be that you Just can’t bear to walk into What walked out into the sky And I wrestle with the fact that we all die And that everything is empty air But I know you were there In the years and I look You’re still an open book And I love to read Something in me was freed To read between the lines When will be our time To triumph like the lion over the sea It’s a crowd and they’re worshipping me And you, the steady stone Let me be with you alone You’re a monument of time And your poetry rhyme When you put it into verse You can be a little terse With me but I see Cracks of eternity Shining like light through the clay And I stay Away so you can have your space But I love your face And the example you set A love neither one of us forget As we age I get another page And scribble down my truth A shared youth And trial by fire But it only burns to take us higher Or deeper you could say A soulmate in the play Of form And the storm Batters the coast But somehow you still stand for what I love the most Truth and integrity A fierce abandon and wilful sincerity Matched only by your deep stare How is it to know we both are there In the eternal zone Just call me when you feel alone Coz I am here Though death may be ever near As it threatens me With the despair and identity That will never be enough To barricade against the love That shines relentless I think you may be Empress
To love you is to jump through hoops And we are surrounded by suits Telling us what to do But you always walked on your own, didn’t you And I admire Your defiant, blazing fire And, the smoke, it plumes And fills all the rooms With your stardust I seemed to have just brushed It off my shirt The bathroom and the way it hurt As I hide in bed Back to playing in the shed When we were ten years old Before the streets were paved with gold As I find Something time left behind I pick up the broach As, subject to reproach, I stand still And their diamond will Can’t move me Now that I pulse like the sea In a current deeper due And the hue Of the evening sky Reflects against my waning lie As I learn to be true And lean back into You The one and only that ever is There are times I call it His Because the language that I’ve learned Is to speak of the shrub that burned For Moses in the cave Or St. Paul and the light that save All the Christians from his wrath It’s a revelation that won’t turn back From its origin, from its source And all the remorse Washes like waves and the tide Pull the heart that keeps me alive In this body and warm As the house is battered by the storm That I resist And exist As torrential rain Would I go through it again Just to see you smile And all the while You endure And I pure Clash with the waters deep In the secret that we keep Enclosed and safe Entering the holy cave
The mountain sure seemed high til I climbed it They’d tell you why but I wouldn’t mind it And I just kick out from the shore I couldn’t tell you which I loved more The going away or the coming back Do you really know something til you’ve felt it’s lack And I was wandering in a cavalcade When I just happened upon your shade And it let me in I was warm when I was with him As we both pause at the same time And he questions my rhyme I say it’s funny and he laughs I let him in because he asks So genially and off the cuff Five minutes in and I know love Has me by the lapel But I think it’s too soon to tell Him what I have on sheets Under cover and the streets Reminded me of the time I was tripping I hold the frame but the picture’s slipping And the more I try to steady the ship The more I can sense an eclipse Coming on Now the reference is gone And I’m trying to even keel But the way I feel Just tells me to be honest But I wouldn’t count on it And Benjamin is a sure shade of blue I let it go and I trusted you
The control and the weariness As I trek down the path they mark But I think they’re stumbling in the dark Trying to cut a swathe I was a person the darkness saved From being a rote learned bitch It saw me open and made the switch Now I’m the nothingness expanse The emptiness when it starts to dance And there is no way to compare What was to what isn’t there And Mooji says we’re cool And I graduated from school With the best I could I swore I would leave that wood Behind with my peace of mind As Tru spoke to me and I took it to heart There was a life which depart And I met another pair of eyes That looked at me with no disguise And he is the Heaven and Earth to me It’s fifteen years and I let him see That a gravity in his bones Walked me right out of my alones And she was by my side I dunno why I thought to hide What was real and raw From the viciousness of an outlaw Who abides not in time It’s all I can do to make it rhyme Zippered in a tent so tight And I wonder if we’re alright In the place it hurts I don’t want to make it worse But I think you need to hear it from me I take off my glasses and now I see
You could be dead and I wouldn’t know Does the pain start to show As I mourn your form So cold where it used to be warm And I remember kissing the forehead Of my Grandad in the coffin It was like ice And the shock Made my soul splice Into multiple parts How do you move with a broken heart And the beat tries to keep you steady But it stutters and I wasn’t ready To commit my life to a mortal thing Coz this bird with broken wing Can’t fly And you could die And I would shatter like a pane of glass But somehow in the mists something last And keeps me walking to your door Leaving notes for someone I adore So he might know That, though it doesn’t show I hold him close to my breast Calamity and the rest Can’t shake the ground I know I watched you change and grow From a boy to a man Through facebook coz I can And it may track my every move But I’ve nothing left to prove Except to leave my open hands There for the slipping sands That are the years of us I shake but I trust
What is God if not a man And I can’t seem to understand The love I feel When the mountain kneel At the foot of you I want you too It’s not one sided at all I’m standing behind the waterfall As it shields the shimmer And I think we’re onto a winner As you laugh and mess my hair I remember coz I was there And I was so much younger then But so we’re you and again I play the tune that resonates Could we call the Ball our dates As the Vengaboys play And Liosa is not okay So I exit the crowd with her And I was loving what we were As you followed us out And all of my self doubt Falls at the sight of your grasp On all that is made to last
There is a rattlesnake at my door
It whispers eclipse and a little bit more
As I run for my life
But the rope is of being a wife
And I could have that scene I wanted to
Today's the first time I thought about you
In that way
And I say
It always comes with some sort of dread
But somehow I'm not thinking of your bed
Just your sullen eyes
And the way they barely disguise
The heart within
Could I touch your sin
And heal you of your pain
If I make the water fall like the softest rain
Come to touch your skin
You don't remind me of him
Yet something's the same
And your name
Plays on repeat
I'm still on my feet
When I'm talking to you
Not knocked to the side like the thread's pulling through
To stitch a whole scene
It's just this moment and it's not a dream
To say you're a really nice dude
And you kinda exude
A warmth and a heart
And I would love to be a part
Of your friendship zone
I just want you to know you're not alone
The Poetry Book 