Tag: transcendence

The Angel That Kissed Me

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I don’t know what it is but something needs o be done
Because there are people dying young
From a disease that no one can see
They say it’s mental illness but I don’t think we 
Are defunct in any sort of way
We are just sensitive to the play
Of light and form on the screen of life
And people tick boxes like a job and wife
And a car and a two point five
Like those things mean you are alive
Is it any wonder that there are those who want to die
Who hide the way they cry 
From everyone so no one can see
And that once was the girl I call me 
But something woke me up
And now I want to share that love 
With anyone who has faded to grey 
And finds the flatness worse than anything words could say 
And is it adult to falter on the brink 
Of the things we dare not think 
To be confused and afraid to even breathe
In case someone doesn’t get what they need 
From what we hold out in our hands 
And in the past people wanted lands
Now they colonise our minds 
And taunt us with what’s been left behind 
But the eternal moment of Now
Has become enough for me somehow
And I try to explain to a priest
The meaning of the deceased 
But he doesn’t get it 
So I say; “forget it”
And let the river pull me away
From everything they say 
To the winter in me 
It kind of feels like being set free
To feel the wind in my hair 
And know that I am there 
In the subterfuge and release 
I wonder do they notice the crease
In my dress but I let it be seen 
And look up from the dream 
As I fall into reality 
I feel the Universe forgiving me

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Conflicting Feelings

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Am I the Jolene of the story
As he implored me 
To just let him be 
And I feel a rankling in my dignity
Why would he take this story down 
As if it would destroy his town
And I have no beef with his girl 
But I had to tell him that the world 
Revolves around his sun of stars 
And I was chasing cars 
Around my head in my room 
When I was fifteen and kissed the doom 
As it met you there 
And I know you care
But I rip the page from the typewriter
Because my friend said I would have to fight her
To get to you
And it’s not something I’ve a mind to do 
I just wanted you to know
That I have not let go 

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Broken Arrows

.Reading time 1 minute.
She uses broken arrows to fire at me 
Then says that she sets me free 
But her archery is not second place
And she knows how to deface 
A wall with her spray paint eyes 
And bulletproof disguise
And we’ll never be what we were 
Because you cracked the crisp leaf beside her 
And stabbed me in the front (only enemies stab you in the back)
Still though your love don’t mean jack 
Not now, not anymore
And I’ll always have affection for you, mo stór
But our two by two is now shattered glass 
Because you thought he just wanted ass 
And so you sought to protect
Me from being a reject
But in seeing me in the lowest terms
I set fire to the hay and it burns 
Up all the crackling grass
And she said that this too shall pass
But she’s not the one who has to live through the story 
I know she’ll just ignore me 
If I try to press my case
So I fall silent in the land gone to waste
And spill it all out onto a page
All my bubbling pain and held back rage 
When she’s in the room 
I don’t know, you echo the bells of doom 

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Hollow

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I scream but it doesn’t bring her back 
And sometimes all you can think about is what you lack 
And I saw her at fifteen washing the dishes
And I know that in spite of all of our hugs and kisses
I will have to say goodbye to her
And does that mean what we were 
Will cease to exist 
And I have to let the mourn
Become something new that’s born
Because they say to move on 
But there’s a space where you’re gone
And nothing will ever be the same again 
I could fall into the men 
I crave and creep towards 
But at the end of the day its only words 
When what you love will surely die 
No matter how you try and try
And insidious is the despair 
When you realise that they’re not there 
Anymore
And the open door 
Where it was always closed coz we were sitting at the fire
And I tire 
Of the baseless platitudes 
I just remember the charisma you exude
And how now we stand at a cold grave
For nothing can save
Anyone of us from our fate 
Should I have went on that first date

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Surrender

.Reading time 1 minute.
I like an iced drink on the rocks
Like I used to like Seapoint and the playing slots
Because my grandmother created a memory with me 
As we bet on 5p 
To reveal the mystery 
And she had lost my grandfather to history 
But she did not stay long 
Is it wrong 
To see the poetic madness in following the one you love
To the grave or to above
If that’s how you see it 
And something tells me I’ve got to just be it
And he’s miles away from me 
But I don’t want him to see
He’s always been the one my soul chooses
And everything is just weight that he loses 
As he untethers his pain 
And something brings us together again 
I’m making this masterpiece so that you 
Might know who I’m talking to 
When I follow the fuse
To the one I always choose 

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The Old Dark Machine

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The old dark machine pulls and it shakes
It shudders when the earth quakes 
Entertaining no form of rain 
Though the ground is wet in vain 
And no grass grows up to meet
The pavement that they call a street 
And somehow I see it in her eyes
The part of her that dies 
Every time the house is empty 
And I was just a girl of twenty 
When I realised
That everybody dies 
Slowly but not all the same 
Some are not even given a name 
As in their mother’s womb they lie
And she in grief because they try and try
For so long to bequeath a child 
Now all they’re left with is the wild 
Of the Burren sparse and grey
Though beauty in its own way
Will rise up through the crevice crack 
From a life they can’t get back 
As they grasp and struggle and refrain 
I didn’t know that I could forgive the pain 

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Lives And Weather

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The life I’ve always wanted receded into the distance
And when I reached for it I only felt resistance 
As I confessed my secret heart
He took his wound and tore me apart 
And with tears in his eyes
He ripped into my disguise
Til I stand with paper hands
And look at the sands
Slipping through the cracks
I know we can’t go back
From this
I though you might kiss
Me when you found out the truth
Like I know you wanted to in our youth
And I put you off
And you splutter and cough
And tell me you have no time
For what I found in the diamond mine
And soldered to a band of gold for you
In a past life I was the one to
Go down on one knee
Reversed genders, same eternity
And I propose a solution to the problem
Because together, all of the troubles, we’d solve them
And you’ve found another partner
And it would hearten her
If she knew how you talked behind her back
And the girls that you attack
In her name
I don’t mean to lay the blame
But is it just gonna be the same
As it was two hundred years ago
With your blonde hair and the way you kissed me slow

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The Epic Of Mine

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The epic story of the oddessying hero
If you want a race I’ll make it to zero
Before you do if I find the words
I’ve my feet on the ground but I’m away with the birds
And I found myself locked in a room
They tell me I’ll be out pretty soon
But it’s like they’re caging the beast
And it’s roaring for a feast
Tearing me to pieces inside
I drop the walls I used to hide
And all of the people were magnificently pure
And I’m integrity that just endure
As they’re listing reasons I’m not well
But I’m full of a secret I daren’t tell
As I wonder why the guy is wearing shades
As we meditate upon a page
And it’s like a story that’s never been told
I wonder will I weather it when I get old
Or will these days leave a track
On skin that can’t take it back
And I’m always waiting for her to care
But she just shakes me outta her hair
And tells me it’s for the best
So I set sail on my own quest
And if I’m a hero why do I die
On my own with a sigh
Then pull myself up onto my knees
To answer all the pleas
I hear in my mind
I wonder at the life I left behind
And if anyone will set out on my track
Coz, Lord knows, I’m not coming back
And I’m weary but I’m also full of hope
The kind of optimism that copes
With every setback that waylays
And I’ve learned to take a grain of salt on days
As it meanders in a thousand ways
Across plains and by open bays
Into the avenues I know
And this train never slows
Only takes me by the hand and shows
The light the window throws
And if you’re indifferent to my plight
You gotta know that I’m alright

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The Divine Death

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I keep holding out
For the Divine Death
The one that time
Cannot forget
You can all it enlightenment 
You can call it liberation
But I woke up
From my own education 
Only to go on
Picking up stones
Going from place to place
And calling it home
And I’ve always been a rambler 
Out for adventure
But I’m struggling
With my own self censure
Coz there are lines
With which you do not agree
And I can only point it out
I can’t make you see
And you’re drinking 
Bottled water from the tap
And I keep wondering
What are you at
But it’s a mystery to me
All these flicking pages
And I’ve been wandering 
For ages and ages
Trying to catch your trail
As it winds through the undergrowth 
I’m tired walking
The less travelled road
Searching for something
I cannot find
Missing what
I’ve left behind 

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The Words And What They Do Not Mean

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She can’t stop running interference
And though I held her dear once
I can’t keep up this spin
Why don’t you keep that aspect of yourself for him
Like you’ve been trained to do 
But I never will be you
In all this mountainous thunder
And taking a number
To be what you are
Has every star
Been categorised
And every sunset a way the day dies
I don’t know about your aching pain
As it tries to force me to stand in the rain 
Because you got wet
From a time you cannot forget
All the lights shine
But forever will never be mine
As long as I pick up after you 
I feel cold at the sound of your laughter too
Because it rings of disdain 
And your aching stain 
On the carpet or sheet 
There must have been a reason we meet
By universal design 
But know that I cannot call mine
What only pulverises 
And she surmises 
That I’m cutting, direct 
The words she hurls haven’t changed me yet
But I just feel this sigh
Coming on like a longing goodbye
As I wonder why
She never understood jack
And now she cannot take it back 

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When They Try To Control

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When people implore me with their eyes
But I don’t care who dies
Because I have seen beyond the form
And what happens when the body warm
Soon turns cold and depart
The spirit leaves by the heart
And returns to join it’s immortal core
They struggle to say I love you more
In their attempts at suppression
Some kind of drive at oppression
Til I’m twenty nine and in confession
As the priest says this will be your last aggression
But I just can’t muster up the energy to say
I’m saving it for another day
Because everything is now
And somehow
In the forest of storm 
I found that which was never born
And so can never leave this earth
The something beyond the hurt
And though they try to scratch and claw
They are no match for the Great Thaw
That is unfolding humanly 
On the planet and undoing me
Well the “me” I thought I was
It does not abide by laws
But sits in it’s own sweet soul 
And tells the waves to roll and roll
They will still meet the beach
If this is what it is to teach
Then call my words silent prose
This is the less travelled road

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The Veins Of Truth

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The veins of truth pour the blood through me
It’s back to my heart and it sets me free
And my skin may be purple, blue
But it’s not because of you 
I just wanted you to know
That it was long before we met I wanted to let go
And it was in response to 
A girl, I change the font to blue
To represent those days 
Because she cut in me in so many ways
By lines, by degrees 
Then with a sword when I was on my knees
And my grandmother had just passed
And I’m sitting in class
When she has just let me know 
That she can’t “relate” to the snow
That’s falling from my sky
And suddenly I want to die 
And the breaths I draw in are sucked not in the flow
And nobody seems to know 
It’s like steel in my blood to enter the school
And I used to keep every single rule
But it never did a thing to keep me from the deep end of the pool
And I’m just standing saying a prayer
Because we’re Catholic and the teacher is there
Til, suddenly, dizzy, I lose consciousness
And the person I used to address
As myself
Has been lost in the wealth 
Of light pouring from the sky
And though no one says hi
To me anymore
I don’t care coz the open door
Has just let me in 
And I didn’t need to win
The war she fought with tooth and nail 
The success was in the fail 
And I just let her go
To torment someone else slow 
I wonder will she change 
But I will always be the kind of strange
That sees the city in each pair of eyes
And I hope she never cries
But her docking port will not be here
She can call on the God that is ever near 
And see if he can rescue 
Her soul from what threatens you
I know I’m by the shore 
Waiting for the man I adore 
To finally swim to land
He does and I take his hand
Like it is precious ore
I am not who I was before 
But I can be all that I am 
If that’s okay with you, man

The Darkest Shame

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The darkest shame is that I followed the clues 
That I thought would lead me to you 
And there were blue chalked streets and bears 
They say the fabric of my sanity tears
When I believe in secret tomes
And become one who roams 
The avenues of misty eyed tears
As the date nears 
And I cannot bear the truth
So I pulverise my own youth
By putting myself in their hands
Now after slipping sands 
Have run the hourglass down
I still feel like I want to drown 
Some where in all this emotion
It’s as though the road is an ocean 
I cannot climb into 
And it becomes a sprint to
The door
And I couldn’t have loved them more 
But somehow I feel the wilderness in my bones
And I refuse to answer my two phones 
When they call out to me
And I could’ve missed our history
In the avenue I let bleed
Because I know you need
Who I used to be
But its just that they have destroyed me 
In their attempts to keep the dark away
I just lay in the bay 
And it was not San Francisco 
Or some kind of cool fuckin’ disco 
It was like being drawn on a string 
So he could live on everything 
He ever thought he was 
And I take the hit because
I want him to be sky high
And not afraid to die 
A death on the floor 
I just want to prove I love him more 

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The Power Of This Moment

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***Trigger Warning – Mental Health Content***

There is power in this moment 
And I feel it when I own it
And let the pain go
Like the sky just lets the snow 
From its grasp 
Because no cloud can last 
In a frozen form
And when the days get warm 
All that ice will melt
So it goes with how I felt 
In the midst of the blackest night
But the dawn came and I was alright 
As I pondered suicide
And what it means to be alive
That may have been eons ago
But it leaves its mark on you, you know
And I just want to let anyone know who trudges
That there is a peace that never budges 
And it’s to be found right where you are
You don’t have to journey to a star 
To find your own burning strength 
I used to wonder where it went 
As I hid out between the lines
So that they couldn’t define
Me as mentally ill 
Or someone with a dysfunctional will 
I am forever free 
And just because the night visited me
Doesn’t mean I don’t know the sun
It all collapsed into one 
And I could see that duality
Is only there to bring out the best of me 
When I don’t know who I am 
I close my eyes and trust in God’s plan

One Here

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I know that he and I 
Will always be one here, we will never die
Like all bodies are destined to
But I found heaven in you 
And it’s something that cannot be taken away
Not even when comes the day 
That the great forgive must let us go
As we travel into mists we do not know 
But I was bought and sold
The moment I saw solid gold 
Shine from his eyes 
And I know though he tries
He cannot separate
Me from the place where we equate
Everything we ever were
To the trust he found in her
And in us 
It’s not just lust 
It is a spiralling spark
That shines even brighter in the dark 
So much so that I wish for my old days
When I was lost in so many ways 
And the balance I’ve found
And the solid ground 
Only distances the despair 
I loved because you were there

My Time As A Drifter

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My time as a drifter 
And the time he wanted to shift her 
In Hillstreet in the dark 
And I lost a part
Of myself when I agreed 
To the part of me that it freed
In the lines in between 
It was the worst part of the dream 
I had just been set free from the blocks
And I was all about breaking locks 
And seeing how far I could take it 
But I didn’t mean to wake it
Up from where it lay
And it is not okay 
That when the dragon breathes fire
You blame me for the post that I conspire
To burn in my flame 
I am not within my name 
I am barely brimming at the edges 
And I can see over the hedges 
As the man trims them with his machine 
And I am who I’ve always been 
But that seems to do me no good
If I can only find salvation in the wood
And when I’m on my own 
If I could’ve I would’ve known 
Twenty years ago 
But it took time for the life to show 
Through the facade of the veil 
And I set sail 
On a foreign sea 
To find the part of me 
That I lost in the melee
Do you think you could just be a friend to me? 

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Blackpool

.Reading time 1 minute.
There is a black pool at the core of my being 
When it’s light it’s just a reflection you’re seeing 
Of the moon in the water 
And I have been a “good” daughter 
Always abiding by the rule
Getting grades to fly by in school 
But I have grown up and in 
And I found myself in him 
When he set me free from the stricture 
And it was a mighty picture 
When he showed me his own shade of blue
And I wanted to be one with you 
As you just were yourself 
And my mental health 
Is not up for debate
But I’ve learned there’s something beyond the hate
You can even hold for yourself 
There is a wealth 
In verdant green
And it’s the best thing I’ve ever seen

The Saint

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The saint was born the day that I died
Like Gandalf the Grey becoming the White 
And there was no absorbing light 
Only a peaceful flame 
That does not go by any name 
You could call it earthy awareness 
And I could guess
What you mean by that 
But it gives you something it can’t take back
And when the dream is rendered moot
No one can play the flute
Not with you, not anymore
And they think I close the door
But the reality is I am pulled away
From the places I cannot stay
There is distance in between 
Me and her and her and what they seem
To be 
But free
Does not mean foolish or prude
I’m sorry if I appear a little rude
But I’ve got to speak my mind
When I don’t I do hard time 
At the institution they call St. Pat’s 
And there are welcome mats 
With my name written on 
They don’t realise I’m already gone 
As who I used to stand as 
And it’s nothing bad
But it is unusual and unexpected 
And it’s not as thought I would have rejected
Him without good reason
His love is a season
In the infinity of space time 
For a moment he was mine
And then we were separated 
Like the schools where we were educated 
In to make good people of us
With rulers and lines and teachers we could trust 
Some at least 
And I wonder if the last supper is a feast
Like it’s portrayed
And if Judas was dismayed
To be singled out like that 
And I wonder what was he at
To betray a saviour true
Til I had it done to me too 
By a girl I used to know 
She cracked the whip so I let her go 
And I don’t know if time is fast or slow
All I’ve realised is that it doesn’t exist though

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They Can’t Bring Me Down

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They can’t bring me down
Not with their hospital gown 
You know the one that I wear
When the fabric tear
On my suit
And I must be the proof 
Of what I want to hear
Must I hold dear 
The days in subterfuge
When everything’s the colour rouge
On the page
The shade of rage 
That pulls apart the sun 
And you know the one 
Is made to beat a heart 
Tearing all the stars apart
In the firmament where they lie 
I am not afraid to die
But to be caught
In a place where my spirit’s bought
By all and sundry 
And it’s quite the quandary
To be lilt bound around the halls
Of a place that is all walls
In brick and stone
I hear the ancients scream “leave me alone”
As behind the barrier some horrors are contained
I feel it in the pain
That emanate 
From the people in that state 
And there are souls that walk the corridor
Down to the art room on the first floor 
And there’s no way to say
That it isn’t me, okay
Because when I speak of vision 
They meet me with derision 
And false grandiosity 
It must be my animosity 
Reaching out to take a bite
Of my own kryptonite 
Does that mean I’m Clark Kent
Or the space where the hero went

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The Castle In The Sky

.Reading time 1 minute.
He bullied me into letting go
And I fell into the snow
And it was icy cold
Can I be brave, can I be bold? 
And just speak my own truth
Reflected through the prism of youth
That is growing long
But still I believe that strong
Comes with age
If you do not allow it to turn the page
On the fiercest of you 
If my heart means anything too
It will continue to burn a hole
Through the veil that hides the soul 
From the masses
And the classes
That I aced
Were nothing to the glory of his face
When it was revealed to me
He tried to steal into what it means to me
But it cannot be undone
Once you’ve seen the sun
You cannot unmake it
And I would never forsake it
Not for a pretty boy
That uses females like a toy
To play with in the day
But in the night it goes away
And he is mired in loss and pain
And learns to live with the rain
That pummels the skin
I told him that if he let me in
I could make it better
And the weather
Would pass
But our moment didn’t last
As he sold me out for someone else
And claimed that mental health
Is more important than truth
My God, life can be such a brute
But it will reveal itself to you
If you let the web fall through
Into the long lost water 
I am no wife, I am no daughter
I am no female set free
I am what I’ll always be

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Getting The Message To Where It Needs To Be

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I’m getting the message to where it needs to be
Because people drown in a foot of sea
Water as it comes up to their throats
They don’t know they can stand up and hope floats
And seeks eternity in the bones
Of the body the soul has made home
We tiptoe around the fact
It doesn’t help that I want him back
In spite of all his flaws
And the way the icicle thaws
As it hangs like a stalactite
From the room I ignite 
With my Lára flame 
You know everything is in a name
And I am not to be crossed
But look, baby, all is not lost
Not if you count the shipwreck safe
But there’s a coast we can escape
To if you just open your eyes
But you keep them closed and something dies
In the subterfuge
And it’s all rouge 
Everywhere
And people who just do not care
About what has come to pass
And the part of love that last
Far past the point of surrender
I do everything I can to make you remember 
But you are lost in your nonchalant 
As I pick an adequate font 
To write out your epitaph 
You know you made me laugh 
So hard that day
But was I laughing at what goes away 
When the midnight is done
And there is a sun
That does not need light 
Or fusion to combust into all that’s right
And I know you hobble and I know that spiders’ webs
Weave their tendrils above your head
I’m just here to be a reminder
That if you look you will find her
Right where she always was
Under the stone of your in-laws

Immortality

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I hold back what I really want to write
Because I’m scared that it might be shite
Or even worse profanity
Paying testament to insanity 
Held beneath the skin I walk
It’s only trouble that I talk 
As I head to the abyss
Fearing for a night to kiss
And they held me in a healing balm 
The doctor took my shattered arm 
And led me to the door
They drove me there and what’s more
Is I kind a liked it when 
Barry called my name again 
Out like a prophet does Jesus
Lord knows how I need it 
When I’m in the smoking room 
With Aoibhín and the sonic boom 
As we draw rainbows on the wall
In pens my parents brought me from outside
Outside the cavern that keeps me alive
For the time being 
It’s a different way of seeing 
But it’s true enough to say
I couldn’t have had it any other way 
And the doctor mumbles and utters vague treatises under his breath
On what the war with self does to make you forget 
What you have come to be
But I cannot shake the feeling that he cannot see
Just who he is talking to 
“Delusions of grandeur, we’ll add that one to
The long list we made of your faults”
And I kinda get sick of opening vaults
For them to plunder my wealth
In the name of mental health
And I wonder what they’re preserving 
Or what God they are observing 
When they make idol tropes
And then they tell Shauna how to cope
With the fact that she can’t bear
To get out of the clothes that she seems to wear
Each and every single day
But I won’t let her leave that way
So I go and sit by her side
When she’s in the horrors and I abide
I feel it fall away from her grasp
You know that bitch, that poisoned asp
And I crush its head on the floor
You’re not taking aim at someone I adore
Even if it’s by her doing 
It’s not something you should be pursuing 
In any eventuality
Me, St. Pat’s and immortality

Years Pass By

.Reading time 1 minute.
I’m on medication
Change the TV station
Because I am strong
And I have done nothing wrong
But I want to reveal 
How I feel 
For all the broken and shamed
For all of the days that cannot be named
Because of the darkness they emanate
And you feel trapped in that state
When you are in it
And the Church just says don’t sin it
But I’ve got to believe there’s another way
To articulate, to say
That your crime is being innocent and not knowing how
To deal with the weight in the fields you plough
And I want to issue to sky
That there is something that doesn’t die
In the perforate
You don’t need to equate
What you do with what you are
You are born from the scattered star
That once imploded
So though they may have goaded
You into submission
Remember your original condition 
And that shine 
God is neither yours nor mine
But the infinite 
You are not alone tonight

Years Pass By

.Reading time 1 minute.
I’m on medication
Change the TV station
Because I am strong
And I have done nothing wrong
But I want to reveal 
How I feel 
For all the broken and shamed
For all of the days that cannot be named
Because of the darkness they emanate
And you feel trapped in that state
When you are in it
And the Church just says don’t sin it
But I’ve got to believe there’s another way
To articulate, to say
That your crime is being innocent and not knowing how
To deal with the weight in the fields you plough
And I want to issue to sky
That there is something that doesn’t die
In the perforate
You don’t need to equate
What you do with what you are
You are born from the scattered star
That once imploded
So though they may have goaded
You into submission
Remember your original condition 
And that shine 
God is neither yours nor mine
But the infinite 
You are not alone tonight

The Salvation In Plurality

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I can feel the brimming thunder
In the sky we’re living under
And the people I railed against
Were the ones who were heaven sent
And just wanted to aid and abet
Me in the mission to forget
All that had come to weigh me down
So I walked around the town
Looking at signs
I was trying to diamond mine
Searching for a holy gem
And I did it once, twice, again
And somehow the men
Never hurt me 
The danger seemed to just skirt me
By degrees
Til I fell to my knees
And begged the wonder out thieves
Help to steal away all that I believe
And they were only too happy to comply
And I thought I would die 
Under the weight of their heavy handed slap
I crumpled up the map
And took a picture in the garden of Dean Swift
So looking back would be a gift
But I could only see clarity
Not the mental illness they made of me
Searching for some hidden pain
Well I looked again and again
But I could never find
Evidence that I was out of my mind
For seeing love in every shape and form
And loving bodies while they’re warm
And vital and young and free
Shit, is that guy staring at me
But anyway I’m letting sleeping dogs lie
Let go of the merely getting by
On what I think I know 
My sisters on the branch they bow 
In the aching powder they blow 
Into my face like I’m in the know 
And I’m annexed into a space
Where I only see your face 
Smiling at me 
I was out the door when they set me free

The Age Of Fear

.Reading time 1 minute.
The age of fear when dragons rule the roost
And I like a button to give my ego a boost
And people click on things that resonate
The algorithm on your dinner plate
And there are people in Africa who find the ore
And the metals that make you want more
Does Apple pay them their due
I’m not trying to slander, I just wonder, do you
As in the Congo, the war rages
And we flick the screen like flipping pages
On a story we don’t want to hear
But I feel every single tear
You could call it empathy or a burden
But how do people know that you’ve heard them
If there’s no one there
And the forest does care
About every single tree
Because each one makes up the map of me
And we are all brothers and sisters
The fire burns and the skin blisters
On friends and foes
It’s wild country and anything goes
Because they have the power
And the tower
Fell from on high
I watched the people die 
Screaming or in silent registration 
No one could change that TV station
Because it played on the airwaves
As firemen saved
All they could 
And it’s written in blood
But I try to flood the plain
Because I don’t want that to happen again
But an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind
Is there hope for humankind?

The Winter I Endured

.Reading time 3 minutes.
The winter I endured
Was far from pure
The snow was tinged with scattered blood
And it was anything but good 
As the forest turned to trees with eyes
Out to get me in my disguise
And they may say agenda
But I would always defend ya
From the forces that come to pass
I sat in the young adults group before I hit twenty four
They’d get you to talk behind a closed door
Like it was some kind of club
While you’re dosed up on some drug 
And I remember a boy who slurred his speech
Is this the lesson that they teach
To all of us
That the broken trust
Will lead us to the promised land
But their broken promises are all sand 
As they try to dampen your spirit
I’ll say it loud so that everyone will hear it
And Teresa in the bed across
Was shocked half to death by a girl boss
And told it would heal her depression
But here is my confession 
That, though I shook and though I wake
I did it all for her sake 
Shouted to the dragon in her bed
Said, follow me instead
Coz I can carry the weight
And she cannot stand the hate
And I sat by Shauna’s side
If this was the only reason I’d abide
In that place for a thousand years 
I grabbed a bucket to catch their tears
And I would face all of their fears
With them so they wouldn’t be alone
Now friends are clicking on a phone
And I watch them search
For a place to land that doesn’t hurt 
And they say social media is hell
And I’ve certainly lived to tell 
The scéal 
And the tale 
Is long and well worn 
But I am certainly not forlorn
When they put me on the “done”
I’d rather take a hash brownie or scone 
Because what they prescribed
Only ever made me feel less alive
It’d be enough to drive a man to drink
Or a woman to overthink 
The things she does by instinct 
But God cleared up the flood
And I taste and see that the Lord is good
And he will redeem
The shackles that just fell from the queen 
And the Son of Man was crucified 
Just so that the Pharisees could abide
In their positions of power 
But everyone who claims to tower
Over another will be brought low
You’re looking down so I thought I should let you know

From The Ashes

.Reading time 1 minute.
***Trigger Warning - Mental Heath Issues***
I open up and the love
Pours through like a season real
But it’s like my soul is a steal
And everyone’s vying for the highest bid
So I found a cavern and hid
And some call it the activity room
I call it the shelter from doom
As they discuss my mental state
I could tell them off but it’ll have to wait
Coz at that time they had all the power
And I was a princess trapped in a tower
By a horrible man
And I can 
Only hold my head up high
Because the spirit in me is not gonna die
Or get broken in, wild horse on the loose
You won’t lead me to the noose 
With your talk me down farewells
And your sympathy with some kind of hell
You have constructed 
I had it all and you think I fucked it up
But I was just waiting for a more peaceful plain
For the phoenix in me to rise again

Memories Of A Subterfuge

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I still remember the laughter of Doireann Fox
Or the way Macken undid all the locks 
The way the hills just cascade
With the joy of the girl they’ve saved
And I got full high on the scene 
But I was kicking it with a wonder dream
As everything is fluorescent light
The vibrant colours to ignite
What I saw in a storm
And when the air is heavy you get warm
But it’s too close in stifling heat
The crack of lightning at my feet
The year Deirdre broke my heart
Took everything, tore it apart
And left me reeling for an age
So I took refuge on the page
As I transcribed a degree of hell
Like Taylor Swift and All Too Well
In monuments to that time
I collapsed and all was fine
So I woke up to the day
The light within that cannot stay
Coz it can’t go anywhere
The sheet of me that it tear
Until I grow to realise
What is behind each pair of eyes
And Ciara is a steady hand
She looks at me and I am grand
Coz she so deeply understand
The winter that I had not planned
Or Sinéad in rocks and stone
With her I am not alone
As she regaled what was said
It’s all just torment in my head
The firing cinders, the blistering heat
The feeling that I cannot meet
Even one more day of time
Then I blinked out of what was mine
And into a sunshine that will brew
It all reflects the heart of you
Into ever deepening soul 
The school of cool as the waves roll

Unspeakable Mystery

.Reading time 1 minute.
If there’s a loving God why did he create hell
Is it excommunication or just not knowing you well
Coz I see you on the verge of every tip I love to talk
Fascinated in my mind by the way that you walk
As if those two shoulders hold some kind of weight
I can see them start to buckle under heavy fate
So I reach out and grab a hand
We lock eyes; you’ll be grand
And I would die and sacrifice a thousand times
Just to pen you poetry that fit with your rhymes
And the darkness cascades
But you’re the one that it saves
For me 
I love you so much more, I’m free
With the steady beam of headlight gaze
Did you deepen the hue or did I just colour the page
The shade of blue you are to me
Some unspeakable mystery
That blurs all the lines between good and okay
It’s not in what he does or does not say
It’s the vulnerability and the honest truth
The softness I felt in my youth
To hold your hand 
And sit beside your slipping sand
Til the hourglass crack
Now I want you back
For eternity
I scrawl in my diary
A name that I’ll keep
Wake, brother bear, it’s no time for sleep

Compassion For The Chinese

.Reading time 1 minute.
I read somewhere about the practice of compassion
That those in Tibet 
Have for those who inflict pain
And that even grass needs the rain
And I don’t mean to make comparison to a bullet
But it was as though you held the trigger and pull it
As it’s facing me
And I’m shot through but it sets me free
As I collapse on the green floor in the Convent Of Mercy
We can’t wait for things to get worse, we
Must take action now 
And cultivate the mindful way
That it’s not in what people say
It’s the silence behind the word
That the monumental is heard 
And I took tea with the Lord 
And He instructs 
I look at the world and it seems fucked 
But I rise every day to the light
And I’m willing to stand with my brother in the night 
Til the dawn breaks across the land
The earth may be turning to sand 
But the soul is beginning to wake
Out of the bodies that it take 
To experience the life of the dual
And I may be a fool
But I gotta get back up
Every time that cup
Is slapped out of my hand 
If you understand 
Follow the path
Coz the demon’s wrath
Is threatening it all
But we can be the architects of the downfall
Of the season of hate
The time is Now, don’t wait

The Light Of Consciousness

.Reading time 4 minutes.
The light of consciousness is like a ray from the sun
It shot me through like a loaded gun
And I was fourteen and lost in a mess
Loaded down with heavy distress
When suddenly the exit to maze
I looked up and the girl was saved 
From a fate worse than death - to live her life 
As a student, a worker, a mother, a wife
I couldn’t grow up, I was like Peter Pan
“Please don’t let me become a man”
Coz I saw what they do on the daily
Look death in the face and smile so gaily
With reasons why it was just so
They were old, they had to let go
But I stared at the body in the coffin
And knew that I was not for crossin’ 
I prayed to God that he make me anew 
And not let the tree be cut in two
So I splintered and fragmented but held strong
I am not doing anything wrong
Anxiety, depression, all kinds of tests
But my inner being is at rest
And she found a chink in my armour
And I don’t mean to alarm her 
But the thread she wound spun me in spools
Til I was sweating buckets in school
Walk into the classroom; “what will they think”
I’m clean and I’m quiet and I don’t even drink
And Elaine is so nice and Lisa too
Doireann and Kelly and my eyelashes are blue
As I try to explain, I try to convey 
Exactly what happened to me that day
A smile was born as I crumpled to the floor
Letting go of the pain and something to adore
It was all lights out as the faint took hold
And when I woke up the ceiling was gold
And Mrs. Earley is kneeling over my form
How do I tell her that I was just born
They give me tea with sugar to pump up my blood
But something just walked out of the wood 
Into the sun of the God of all time
How could I not have known the wealth that is mine 
As it spread like a banquet over the table
Telling cripples to get up and walk now they’re able 
And this message was hidden, this message submerge
But now that the ocean is on the verge
Of washing away, now the time has come
For the ice age to be undone 
And walk all the souls back to their home 
Death is not the end and you are never alone
As Nirvana grips me by the tongue
Break identification with what was young
Coz you will never grow old though the body may fade
You’ll always be vital as the words on this page
In your spirit, in your core and not by degree
Now awakening is rippling out from me
To touch every soul that ever takes birth
You were not born to live within the confines of hurt
You were not born to stoop, you were not born to cower
Wake up and realise your inherent power
As you breathe
You don’t need
The next breath to come
Each one is whole from the old to the young
And those stars in your eyes are like atoms spinning
Don’t doubt your worth when you’re bi-winning
I rub my eyes with my sleeve
Think of the fallen valley I used to believe
Was the whole story
Now the vibration is enough to floor me
Back to the day I was dancing a reel
You’re not what you think and what you feel
Is as passing as diamonds on the surface of the sea
Though sparkling, they just reflect the true civility 
Of a sun that never sets because you don’t spin 
On the axis of something I didn’t begin

The Blades Of Grass

.Reading time 1 minute.
All the people who suffer
And the winter that loves her
I trudged through the snow 
I must go through this coz I cannot let go
And the winds howled, the dark cascaded 
Am I too young to be this jaded 
Create a space, the Lord said
Or is this just a voice I hear in my head
But don’t we all
In the year of the freefall
Into open air 
But there’s no ground to pull your hair
And tell you you’re not good enough
It’s pure unadulterated love
That catches your skin
When you trust in Him
And see 
That the blades of grass hold eternity
In their silky green skin
And how much more are you loved within
In the true home 
You are never alone 
You must come to know
Something holds you and will not let go

The Sinking Feeling

.Reading time 1 minute.
I clung to the shore 
I had discovered and what’s more
It was my safe space 
Nothing could touch that place 
Then I was eighteen 
And the darkness invaded the dream
It came in a box on the sea
Moving closer towards me 
Then it opened and the black came out
Coloured by fear and my self doubt
I tried to save the beach
But it was forever out of reach
And there’s no going back now 
I must find a way to swim somehow 
In the ocean that has submerged the land 
I don’t expect anyone to understand
As I explain 
That the sky is pouring rain
And I happen upon a kindly soul
But do I let him into how my waves roll
I think he knows anyway
Though he laughs at what I say
With a bashful grin
And I must admit that I love him
In the moment he listened and heard
The call of that solitary bird 
On the branch
And life is like a cattle ranch
Always hemming you in
But there’s a time to lose and a time to win 
And if you could but grin
I think I could accept what has made me sin 
Against the God I know
But bliss is kissing me in the snow 
When the monumental march
Gives vessels to the ground that parch
In the baking heat
If you’re hearing this get back on your feet!

The Aura Of Death

.Reading time 1 minute.
Does all of humanity live within the sphere 
Of a death close enough that it’s ever near
And we may get a hundred years or so 
Or we might not, you just never know 
And I walk within the fear
Just so it becomes clear 
That the immortal in the form
Is that which was never born 
And is out of reach
Of the end that they teach
Is the conclusion of life on earth
And it might hurt
To fall but get back up
I am holding you, love 
And there’s nowhere a cloud can’t go
It wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t share what I know 
Coz I was fourteen and I writhe 
The cumulation of being alive 
Came crashing down 
And I felt I would drown 
In the ocean of it all
When suddenly the brick wall
Just fell to the floor
And I adore 
What got back up
You could call it love 
The living breathing apparition 
Of what happens when fission 
Pulls itself back together 
And heals the wound 
The room
Faded from view 
But you 
Never did 
And it’s worth a couple quid 
Just to say
That I am okay 
Come what may
In the fray
Of the life we know
I held on then It let go

Youth And It’s Evasion

.Reading time 1 minute.
I feel the age of youth slip away
You know the one when every day
Is the break of sunrise
And you’re inoculated from the lies
But the burden crushed the butterfly
Crouched in a corner and the fever die
Creeps in on me, I was fourteen 
And the scene 
Threatened to overwhelm 
The captain at the helm
Of this great ship I own
Now the game is thrown 
Fast forward to twenty three
And everything has deserted to me
In search of a grip on the ledge
But there’s just a neighbour looking over the hedge
Wondering if I’ll let go
The sweat is pumping and you know
There’s only so long I can hang on 
My fingers fail and doing wrong
Falls into the dark
I know I said it don’t leave a mark
But it do
I struggle to get over you
Now ten years later, I’m a thirties blue
And I must give time it’s due
It soothes the welts with healing balm
Replaces death with unearthly calm
That seems to settle in my bones
You are never alone 
And iPhones
Only serve to annunciate
A deeper connection in another state
We have yet to learn
I trust in fate and it burn

The Feathered Oasis

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
The feathered oasis of calm in my mind
When I think of the trouble I’ve left behind
Like a minute fibre in the distance
Let’s take a minute to remember resistance
As it barricades the doors and fortifies the walls 
Falls deaf to years of desperate calls 
To just be the way I am
And chasing Sam
Like a dream in the sky
Is nothing to the blue of his eye
When he smiles at me
Do I get to call free
The newfangled word
Or will I forever remain unheard

The Wintering

.Reading time 1 minute.
The wintering held my hand for a time or two
I couldn't stand up so I just blamed you
For falling at my feet
Oh, how the chasm meet
Each side of a cliff
And a what if
When the water rises
Does it lift all boats, she surmises
And wonders herself into an avenue 
Oh, the colour red and it's incendiary blue
Are we either shade
And do the bandits raid
When you are not at home
Lock the door, carry your phone
The people say
But I just get carried away
With all of my notions
And my emotions
Are seasonal stares
Do I just sell my wares
On Dawson Street, to the highest bidder
I, like the bird on the branch, don't know how to wither
Just take a death plunge
Then pull up at the end so that the lunge
Makes my stomach drop
And all that I am not
Seems to echo a refrain
I found a way out of the pain
And I want to share it with you
So that we can ripple individually too
Into the whole sea
And every wave is part destiny
You cannot separate out
The moment of truth from the moment of doubt
As it all interweaves
The love of all things is up your sleeve

Her Own Shore

.Reading time 5 minutes.
She’s low in her boots
I can feel the roots
Intertwine with mine
As we both proclaim we’re fine
And try to be what we were
I used to be empty without her
And crave to find her company
Now I just let her be
As she navigates her own shore
Thinking we don’t love each other anymore 
But she’ll always have a place inside my heart
Even though we may be apart
Or unable to communicate in a way that’s true
You’re a mountain to me, darling, do you
Know that, my dear
I wipe the glass so it’s crystal clear
And we drive all over town 
Do you still hear the sound
Of the steady chasm call
I just want you to know, that’s all
That we
Forever be
Eternal and true
I was looking for the One
All the while I had you
And appreciate
When I was in that state
To be guided, steady hand
As you play a rock band
I’m not really into
But it’s important to you
So I listen
Teardrops glisten
As he riffs a guitar
Oh, in the wonder of what you are
I don’t know
The places you go
When you’re tired and alone
I call but you don’t answer the phone
Would you understand
If I said I had planned 
A season or two
Where the autumn leaves fly just for you
As the colours change
Atoms and molecules rearrange
Like they will for us too
A plurality of weaving things through
Don’t go
There’s so much I haven’t said, you know
And there are ages
To pay testament to
The depth that I
Witness in you
You’re a star
And by the bar
You raise it high
I exclaim; I’m not afraid to die
As I shake in my soul
You are the weather that cannot be told 
And a storm
Are a galaxy swirl
You have to be the scene of the girl
As she rides off alone unto the horizon
I would say I called it but it’s still surprising
Would you stay
If I asked you just for me, okay?
Coz it’s midnight without your dawn
And I can’t abide the thought of you gone
Don’t worry
I’m not in a hurry
To go picking up leaves
And everyone just believes 
In the story they’re told
I will be brave, I will be bold
And ask
You to drop the mask
And just share
In the depths of the ocean know that I care 
And will open the door
If you still want me, I implore
Don’t let the time go by
The ways and means, the way I cry
Is it just an incomplete 
Coz I’m always begging at your feet
For you to change the tune
The earth quakes when you’re in the room
And I didn’t forget
I just thought that room was to let
In the forest where I ran
And you found something I don’t know if I can
In the cycle role
What is the meaning of the soul
Coz you exclaim
Could you just call me by my name
And not let go
Every breath that I breathe is for you, you know
And the wind howls and knocks on the shutters
I catch every word she barely utters
Could peace come to last
In a gentle warmth, not a furnace blast
As everything precarious, tips on the scale
I know that I’m bought but it’s not for sale
To anyone else
And mental health
Is a slogan or two
Do you see the needle as it’s pulling through
Or just the tapestry sewn
Do you know how we have grown
To be side by side 
I thank the Lord you are alive
And shining from skies 
In the place where we’re free there are no goodbyes
Or futile tries
I’ll see you soon to look in your eyes
And know
That it’s mutual, this feeling we show
In the years and time
In for a nickel, a penny, a dime
In all the ages
And the ripped pages
Of the story we write
I dust myself off, say I’ll be alright
As the leaves blow
I’ll be up to the challenge, you know

In One

.Reading time 3 minutes.
Mercury’s in retrograde
And Irish people call a spade a spade 
Coz you know that morbid humor 
Isn’t gonna make it get you any sooner 
And I’m poised between a perfect spin
And in my mind I’m dancing with him
On an empty street
Oh, how I cursed the stars that meet
Us on the street or on the bus
There was just that feeling of trust
As I let myself believe
And I watch you hide your hands up your sleeve 
That morning in the Mall
Want to take a walk or shall
We just stare at each other across a mirage 
And I draw lines across your visage 
That will one day be a wrinkle in time 
But you’ll never stop being fine
As I watch you live your life with someone else
You advise me it’s best to take care of my mental health 
Coz you know stability is a wealth
So I smack the camera out of your hand
I will be grand 
Just not knowing
Coz I’m not finished growing
Gardens in my mind 
And they’re not well tended or left behind 
They are veritably wild 
And in my heart I’m still a child 
And I scoff in the face 
Of the rules that you chase 
So go ahead, be normal
Address me in a tone that’s formal
Coz you don’t have the time 
To watch my stellar shine
And maybe you were just afraid 
Coz, you know, that “bitch”, she slayed 
And all the lines that they encase
Won’t find you that dream you chase
Of 2.5 and a car
Don’t you ever wonder what we are 
And reincarnation kinda resembles the setting sun
But do you think we could get it in one
Coz this axis is an endless spin
And Nirvana revealed itself to him
When I let him into my sphere 
Now we are ever near
Like two orbiting souls 
Planets ruled by the poles 
But what is this non dual understanding 
All I know is you were commanding
My attention when you suggested
That we go get arrested
Just for the hell of it
Who am I sharing my heart with?
But I can’t help the laugh that escapes 
And not all superheroes wear capes 
But you sure do
Could I kick it with you 
In the summer of our age
I think I’m gonna need another page 
To get this down 
I won’t wear a gown
But in a t-shirt and jeans
I met the man of my dreams

Running A Ten

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
My energy system’s running a ten
And I’ve blown the fuse on the light again
And they all think I have psychosis
Some modern kind of neurosis
And it may be true that the mind
Is having trouble leaving behind
All the dreams of yesteryear 
But there’s a part of me that shows no fear
That knows, that simply realise
That everything is the sky in your eyes

Brutal Blows And The Reveal

.Reading time 1 minute.
Death, the scar scabs over
But I pick at it 
Until it starts to bleed
And I must take heed
And heal again
Did I lose a friend
When the ocean between us
Was a nightmare so dark I couldn’t dream it
And I thought I could clamber back
But you build a house on what you lack
And I try to find away in
But I just face the sin
That builds a wall
Like the maniacs down the hall
Do 
What about you
What’s on your scene
If you could paint it on a screen 
Coz you keep it tight lipped
Would you notice the glitch if the track hadn’t skipped 
On the part where Weird Al riffs
I know there are those who’ve called me a bitch 
And maybe there’s an element of truth in their professions
But I would never want to force a confession 
Like she did to me
Did you see
The welt that she left
Cut my heart with a blade so deft
And it was like it all caved in
Til the light broke and I met him
And he showed me a shine
That used to be mine
In the days before 
She didn’t want me anymore 
But the clue
Was that I chose you
In the forest of dreams
And the screams
Are not as sharp as they used to be
Am I desensitized or do I just see
What’s there to unfold
I think I found my fields of gold

One World Community

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Holding space for war torn regions
With the strength of prayer
So they know that love is there
And the fighters on the extreme
Are only caught up in the dream
Never knowing what they do
But what would you do if it was you
And if you had the power to make change
Would you think it a bit strange
That some people resist
There’s nobody on my list
Coz I have let go of enmity
But I stay vigilant coz integrity 
Means being aware that it could come back 
The ego hiding in the lack

Emptiness, Devoid Of Form

.Reading time 2 minutes.
The feel of not existing
Like I don’t have a form
Even though the body’s breathing
Is vital and is warm
Like I’m spirited away 
To another dimension
But I’m still in this one
And there’s inherent tension
Between what I am
And what I could be 
I always feel the gap
Though others cannot see
And I’m mindful and secure
Minute and profound
But my wings are getting lazy
From staying on the ground
And I want to try them out 
To see if I would soar
You say don’t wish for miracles 
But I just want them more
As I’m touched by the divine
In form but beyond reason
It’s time to remind you
That life is but a season
And like leaves in Autumn
We colour up then fade away
Don’t blame me for wanting more
To make enough of this day
That we’re given, in between two nights
He speaks to me a moment and my spirit ignites
To burn a hole in destiny or all that is to come
I’m not just a tragic tale I’ve been telling the young
To be wary and be watchful
But don’t forget to dance
I spin the top of reason 
And give you a second chance
To be all that you might
Ever want to desire
You looked in my eyes
I burnt up in the fire
That consume like ash and rust
For a phoenix to rise
It’s been exaggerated
The reports of my demise
I’m still flipping the lid
Of every bottle top
And you cannot contain me
As something that I’m not
But something that I am
And ever will be
I opened up my heart
Suddenly, I am free

Snare Drum

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Hit that snare drum
And I try to do the sum
That will add up to the whole of my life
Am I just a house and a wife
To some man I don't yet know 
Or is there a reason that I just go
To the farthest corners of the earth
To find a way out of the hurt
The distant hum of the fan 
I want to stop it if I can
So I meditate and it doesn't work
I run and I just sweat my shirt 
And I listen to Eckhart Tolle
It switches into something whole
And cascades like the perfect song
Beating the movement where you went wrong 
And I'm listening to my own misery biz 
I used to be the shizz
Now I'm just old and normal 
Saw you in a suit so formal
Looking like you pay the rent
I wonder where the vagabond went
That crashed into my life like a storm 
And he's the fire that keeps the heat warm 
I wish you could know
That I would never let you go 
Only let the line go slack
And wait until you call me back 
And you always do 
I walk another's shoe
Til the soles are worn and dry
I dunno I had to try
And be the one to satisfy 
The longing that reaches out
It quenches thirst to match my doubt
Like that castle in the sky
I meet in dreams that die
Into a morning that just breaks 
And the girl, like the ocean, wakes

Colour Splash

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
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Taylor’s bringing it home
She opened the door when I was all alone
And let in a little light
I fight it out but I’m alright
As I say to the seasons 
That this love is without reason
As I shudder to a halt
She lets six more out of the vault 
And they run riot in the scene
She’s painting colour in the dream
As the grey gets a splatter of paint
I see the One and I faint
And on the floor in Room One
I know what it is to walk the Son
In feet that are his and mine
He carries me across the beach that fine
Summer’s day in the winter of my life
I smile because I am alright

Magnificently Kissing On The Street

.Reading time 1 minute.
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Magnificently kissing on the street
It’s not the first time that we meet
As our stars cross paths
And we do nothing by half’s 
And I’m staring at the guy on the screen
He reminds me of a dream 
That I once had
And I don’t feel bad
Scamming on his beard
Is it a bit weird
I see you in him
And I cannot win
Coz you’re with another girl
The diamond in the rough, a pearl
In the oyster that you shell
And I’m not well
I commit myself to a cell
A hospital, a ne’er do well
And they put me on a pill
It takes all the strength of my will
Not to cave
Under the pressure it takes to save
Me from my own dear self
And they are no help 
Throwing eyes at me
I disguise what’s free
In me behind a locked door
And I don’t know who I am anymore
As Dennis howls into the wind
And an old lady tells me how they’ve sinned
Before they put a needle in her
I cry to think what we were
And everything is green outside
I don’t wanna have to hide
Who I am from them
But, God knows, I can’t do it again

Even If I Could

.Reading time 1 minute.
There were days I wanted to
As I stumbled down the hall
Keep my head up
When I feel like I’m gonna fall
Or drown under it all
And they say the words and they echo 
But they can’t get me to let go
Of what keeps me straight
I tell the truth, they say to wait
And this secret eats me up
When I know it’s born of love
Brimming full of a Sunday sun
Like God is the only one
Who could ever know
What it is I can’t let show
Coz it’s dark and crazy and gets me locked up 
It’s as though I know I must drink from this cup
And we all die
And cry
Behind closed doors
Or not at all
I wonder which is worse in my own freefall 
And the darkness came one sudden night
Some kind of fire to ignite
In a vacuum empty
And it wasn’t until I was twenty
That I realized 
Beyond the clouds are blue skies 
And somewhere in the midst of all the hate
Is food on my dinner plate 
And a feast at the table
Lift your head if you’re able
Coz few are those who could do it for ya
So don’t rely on the dictum, do ya
Find that sweet source beneath the pain
There’s a place beyond the rain
And when you’re soaked through and through
You wake up to the reality, don’t you?

The Sound Of One Heart Breaking

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Questioning these sacred concepts
The weight of the world that makes war
And I mourn you but I don’t know what for
Is it just the pain serves to remind
There’s a place you have not left behind
And I break down on the floor
Coz the sound of the door
Shutting cracks my skin
And I try not to let it in
But the light is coming from the inside out
And it replaces all my doubt
With the ferver of another land 
Would you understand
If I told you I just had to let it be
It’s like all of my soul’s been taken from me
When you breathed your last
Or when I discovered a thing of the past
No more what it is
And I call myself His
But it’s a running game
And it’s all the same
No way to stem the flow
Of what you cannot let go
I wipe the tears from my face
Just in case
Anyone sees me in that place
But you’re in my heart
And the mark
That was made
Is the same scar that scabbed over what’s saved
Did it come to me too early to appreciate 
Fourteen years old in another state
Where time and space don’t exist
But in the present I just subsist
On the bread of another longing 
And the people are thronging
Round the gates of hell
Begging to be let in, as well
And I cannot follow
The tree into the hollow 
Of what you came to show
I love you forever, I hope you know

The Loss Of You

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Writing a poem for you
Because God wanted me to
And it happened when I was eleven
Memories of you when I was seven
And I woke in the night with a rhyme in my head
I sat in the bathroom and instead
Of writing it down
I let the ocean drown
Me with waves of grief
And every day it’s beyond belief
Because there’s no going back
And you only know it when you lack
A grandfather you love
And their promises of above
Don’t stem the catapulting might
Of waking in the night
With a poem at your pen 
If I could go back again 
I would pay tribute to you
With love instead of falling into
A mire that knows no end
Did I really lose a friend
And I stay around Kilglass
Coz the memory last
And your house is just across the road
The years sped up but time slowed 
Down enough to let me look back
And I found someone who goes by the name of Jack
And he stills the storm in my bones
Holds my hand through the all alones
That stifle my voice
I don’t scream by choice
Just the horror of losing you
Like I’ve become the void I stare into 
As if I could find you in my grief
That the pain is a measure of the leaf
I take out of your book
Does the past take a second look
Into the vast of the sky
The Kingdom of Heaven that will never die