Tag: suffering

Collapse Of All

.Reading time 1 minute.
The war takes my breath away 
That people could still think in that way 
In terms of human animals and sorting knives by their edge
The sharpness of the thoughts in their head
As they strike their enemy down 
But what if their enemy lived in this town 
And they decided to blitz it 
Because they say that violence fits it 
And it deserves decimation 
I think of the train station 
Where I once met him 
And the idea is so grim 
That he would be the men in the verse 
Where they say women and children first 
And I have to leave him on the ship 
Or hands behind his back tied with a zip 
In a grave at Nasser with nothing to identify 
I watch as a mother cry 
And scream over the loss
If this is innocence then why do they pay the cost 
For a button you press 
And guns they fire, you know the rest 
I don’t need to elucidate 
Because I’ve touched the educate 
In Middle Eastern politics 
And the lump in my throat still sticks 
When I hear the students soar 
And demand that the people in charge do more 
To prevent what happens to a child 
Lost somewhere in a wild
Wild world 
Sometimes it’s a blessing to be born a girl

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The Burden We Bear

.Reading time 2 minutes.
The tragedy of being Irish and free
Is now I have to watch them being ripped from me 
And we fought the British for so long 
Because they tried to stifle our song 
Only to realise 
That we were born under rainy skies 
And the famine and the genocide 
As my family dies 
And I stand at the grave
And think of all the people the fight could not save 
As we all hold the weight 
Of some kind of inflicted hate 
That still lives in our bones and blood
And they think they are good 
For daring to trying to quench the light 
Of the good fight 
For growing up on the grass so green 
Celtic and inbetween 
This world and the next 
And the Spanish were shipwrecked 
And now their bloodlines are descended 
We are a conglomeration that has amended
The phrase níos Gaelaí ná Gaeil iad féin 
And there’s something I love about the rain 
And touching down after Arizona 
My God, how I wish I could phone ya 
After our magnificent fight 
The one that set the devil alight 
And he tries to burn me in St. Pat’s 
As the people put out their welcome mats 
To tell me to come home 
And that it’s okay I’m alone 
But I just feel the shaking of the trees 
And the death that’s always on the breeze 
When you grow up under the sky 
Of the memory that cannot lie

Empire

.Reading time 1 minute.
There is an empire nobody sees
And it has everyone on their knees
Struggling to make ends meet
As people try to die on their feet
Through the beauty blogs
Or the city that the pollution smogs
But never good enough is the refrain
And you can only ever paper over the pain 
As we try to keep everything in frame 
So we can keep up with a name
That we have identified as ours
And the powers 
That be pull tight on the rein
As someone else takes the blame 
For what is beyond the pale 
You can’t buy what is not up for sale 
And I watch the horrors encompass the whole
And you may not be able to steal their soul 
But you sure can make their body hurt
Make them long for death and what’s worse
Is you do it in the name of the free
But you sure as fuck do not do it for me 
As I balk and retreat 
And admit total defeat
In a war that can’t be won
Watch a mother sacrifice her son 
For some hidden clause 
The video skips when I hit pause 
On the show 
And I cannot let go 
Of everything I’ve come to be
And a man down on one knee
Is not my salvation 
Neither is my education 
So pulverised and perfect, true 
But I didn’t do it for you 
As I let the wind go slack 
The years you waste you can’t get back

Each Grain Of Sand

.Reading time 1 minute.
It’s a nightmare we’re all dreaming
And somewhere the children are screaming
And it aches in my heart and it pulls at my soul
Something crushes the begging bowl
And flattens the land
The hills and valleys that used to understand 
All the movement and all the sighs
I watch a brother break as his sibling dies
And his wails of pain seem all to familiar to me
Because I know the crushing weight of the sea
As it pummels the shore 
What is left to adore
In this broken world
And if I am just a girl
How do I effect change
But I watch the stars rearrange
Every season in the sky
As I ask God why
He could allow such things
And if the spirit has wings
Does it fly away from here
When it’s separated from the ones we hold dear
In a man made disaster
And there is no plaster
Than can fix bullet holes 
And we’re all just supposed to play our roles
In this great big cosmic machine
And I thank God that it is just a dream
As I rouse to wake
The people that die for humanity’s sake 
I feel something break
And go free in me
Are we doomed to repeat history
Or can we be the change we want to see
If there’s a man in the mirror it starts with me

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The Old Dark Machine

.Reading time 1 minute.
The old dark machine pulls and it shakes
It shudders when the earth quakes 
Entertaining no form of rain 
Though the ground is wet in vain 
And no grass grows up to meet
The pavement that they call a street 
And somehow I see it in her eyes
The part of her that dies 
Every time the house is empty 
And I was just a girl of twenty 
When I realised
That everybody dies 
Slowly but not all the same 
Some are not even given a name 
As in their mother’s womb they lie
And she in grief because they try and try
For so long to bequeath a child 
Now all they’re left with is the wild 
Of the Burren sparse and grey
Though beauty in its own way
Will rise up through the crevice crack 
From a life they can’t get back 
As they grasp and struggle and refrain 
I didn’t know that I could forgive the pain 

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Letting Love, Letting Go

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Death stalks even the most fertile of land
I would go as far as to say you can only understand
Life if you’ve had a little loss
Not just make up and candy floss
To keep yourself looking young 
And your song is sung 
When you’re eight one 
And looking in the mirror
That girl you once were, do you hear her
“She was a good age”, that’s what they say
But I still blame God for taking you away
Just a little too soon
And I’m in the room
And I’m crying, screaming
And if I am only dreaming 
Then why does it hurt so much
Why does it feel that all the love
I’ve ever had has departed 
No second chances, only heavy hearted
Ways and means
And moonbeams
Sing to me of you
Something about white light and what it can do
To free a soul 
I know you were old 
And I was twenty nine 
And I should be fine
But I’m not
So I take the last shot
That has ever been fired
And I only fall asleep when I’m tired 
From all the crying and wailing against 
What God whispers to me is heaven sent
And she never had to experience covid or crisis 
Had angels around her when she shut her eyelids
And it’s selfish but the pain 
Is the only thing that remain 
In me for you 
Because all the blue
Of the sky has absorbed you in 
And maybe now you are with him 
Somewhere in the serene 
And seventeen 
Is come again 
When you lose someone, a really good friend
But you find yourself among the debris
And if anyone is looking for me
You should let them know 
That I always follow where you go 
And into the mystic, into the free
I’m still here but something has left me
Like a bomb shattered house that loses its frame 
Like a sage who goes by a different name 
Like the winter that bursts into spring
Like waking up to everything 

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Ripped From His Mother’s Arms

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I watch the Palestinian children die
And why do I get to cry
When their eyes are dry 
And a parent weeps over the corpse 
While soldiers laugh with no remorse 
And the commanders drop another bomb
Where has our humanity gone 
Do we not see ourselves in the other 
See our sister and brother 
In every battered storm front of war 
And I just look at her
And see the death that I know
The pain life has visited upon me slow
That must be experienced by the masses
Or as they’re designated - the lower classes
While I sit and sup my tea
Knowing full well that it could be me 
If I lived a hundred and eighty years ago 
When the British starved us slow 
To death 
And there is a memory that does not forget
It’s held like generational pain 
And I resonate with the acid rain 
That falls from white phosphorus plumes
Into lungs and living rooms
And burns into skin and sears 
People with images of those they hold dear 
Suffering and crucified
In every single one who’s died
Is the hidden heat 
Of the love that makes my heart beat 
And no claims of anti-semetic
Can make me subscribe to the rhetoric 
That justify the claims of war
When the dust settles what will all this be for 
And will we survive another spin of the wheel 
That makes us deny what we feel 
So we are capable of 
The worst of what I’ve listed above 

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The Graveyard

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
We could all be under earth pretty soon 
Am I the only one who hears the noise in the room
When it’s silent as hell
And there’s all these people wishing me well
But I can’t help but feel that it all pull asunder
The rattling windows to the sound of thunder
As it all caves in
And who would win
When the triumph is naught
It’s like some disease that we’ve caught
That makes us capable to kill
And at will
The degenerate
Comes to pull apart the state
Of affairs and of the mind
I swore I would leave no one behind 

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Beautiful Disaster

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I found beauty in the trauma
And the flora and fauna 
Were hidden from me 
In the dark forest of history
And she enclosed me with a snare
It was almost as if I wasn’t there 
When she sent the splinter into my side
Did she really not want me to be alive
Because she did her best to trump the card
Did she realise she made things so very hard
And I was just a teen 
But I wanted to exit the dream 
By any ways and means 
And I’m sewing a dress but the seams
Keep busting and they won’t fit 
And there are no boys I want to hit
On anymore
The dark expanse was the door 
Into a greater purveyance
And the conveyance
Was suffering and pain 
Til I opened my arms to the rain 
And instead of getting wet
A sun broke that I cannot forget 
In my darkest night
I became the light 
Of the only and ever one
If you feel you are coming undone 
Then you are on the right track
And somehow I cannot go back 
To what I was
I know this because
I have tried
And I hide
My new found skin
With everyone except with him 
He just touched me paper thin 
And I realised destiny was a sin 
I long to make with his touch 
And I love him so very much 
Though he may never know
I thought he should so I let the bird go
And fly across the sea
To where he lay in grey mystery 
Just pondering a solace
But it was a volatile
Explosion in the moment of us
And though it hurt I still trust 
In the infinity that we are 
If you burn then let that star
Combust in its own atmosphere 
That’s how you know that God is near

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Wrecking Ball

.Reading time 1 minute.
There was a demon I saw in her 
It let go and destroyed what we were 
And it’s belligerence knocked buildings and homes
Til I was in a room crying all alone 
And trying to find even keel 
Because of all this weight that I feel
And I try to tell souls but they don’t care
Or they don’t understand because they weren’t there
When it all went down 
As she screams into her cup
And I have had enough
Of that rejection
So I depart from natural selection
And find my own ground
It is a peaceful sound 
In my room all alone
And I lock the darkness out of my phone 
Because I gravitate 
Towards the light that equivocate
The messes I have made
And if you’re a tree do you love shade
Just because that’s what you cast
I didn’t think this thing would last
So very long 
And I know I look strong
But the wind knows the weakness in my knees
The foibles in what I believe 
To be true
Why do I still trust you?

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They Can’t Bring Me Down

.Reading time 1 minute.
They can’t bring me down
Not with their hospital gown 
You know the one that I wear
When the fabric tear
On my suit
And I must be the proof 
Of what I want to hear
Must I hold dear 
The days in subterfuge
When everything’s the colour rouge
On the page
The shade of rage 
That pulls apart the sun 
And you know the one 
Is made to beat a heart 
Tearing all the stars apart
In the firmament where they lie 
I am not afraid to die
But to be caught
In a place where my spirit’s bought
By all and sundry 
And it’s quite the quandary
To be lilt bound around the halls
Of a place that is all walls
In brick and stone
I hear the ancients scream “leave me alone”
As behind the barrier some horrors are contained
I feel it in the pain
That emanate 
From the people in that state 
And there are souls that walk the corridor
Down to the art room on the first floor 
And there’s no way to say
That it isn’t me, okay
Because when I speak of vision 
They meet me with derision 
And false grandiosity 
It must be my animosity 
Reaching out to take a bite
Of my own kryptonite 
Does that mean I’m Clark Kent
Or the space where the hero went

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The Clasp

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I broke the clasp 
Because she didn’t ask 
Me to be who I am 
She had another plan
So I pulled the plug
Now I am on their favourite drug
As I struggle to find 
The part of me I left behind 
When I left her for dust
Amid the tyre tracks and broken trust
And it was hell 
In the days she didn’t wish me well 
The tide, it turned
And something burned 
Inside me 
But some how the light it find me 
And now I’m looking back 
On the attack 
And it seems different somehow
Because I allow
Her to walk all over me 
But, eventually, I let her go free
To find her own direction 
Though I didn’t expect the insurrection 
To arise
And everybody dies 
But sometimes something rise
To meet the pain
And I would do it again 
If I had to 
But I wanted you
To realise
That there are blue skies 
In your darkest foe
I didn’t hate you, I just let you go 
To find your own path
And you may believe in God’s wrath
But I could never find 
That space inside the mind
I had to believe in truth 
And live the passion of my youth
Do I equivocate 
And stand in my place 
Like a good child 
Did you not love me wild 
And free as a bird 
What is it that you heard 
When I spoke to you 
I hope life has been kind to you 
But if it hasn’t 
Know that there’s a space that maddens 
Even those with an even keel 
You are not what you feel

The Crash And The Bang

.Reading time 3 minutes.
There was a crash and a bang
And then the phone rang
To say that he had died
And I screamed out and cried
And the memory of it sings
Like a bullet in my back and things
Were never the same after that 
Because I can’t get his light back
As it leaves his shape
I watch the soul escape
The body I thought I knew
And what if I never see you
Ever again
You were the best of men
And you would get that look that would lock
Into my gaze and I would take stock 
Of the moment that we held 
Like out on the mountain that morning as dawn broke its shell
Or the time I took a video recorder
And filmed you looking into the border
That bridges the place between you and I
I was eleven when the sigh
Escaped your lips
And my own eclipse
Began with a swathe of rage
I decided not to use a page
To document my anguished sobs
Because that would be to rob
Some of my pain from me 
And what would be left of our history
The one with Ireland on the wall
You had cut it out or you walking down the hall
In the middle of the night when all was quiet
Just a door gently shutting on the riot
That cascaded my dreams
A grandfather that isn’t all he seems
Because he is a whole life away
And I’m just starting mine, what do you say
That everything will be okay
And you love Granny and that day
You held a candle as you depart
And it nearly breaks my heart
Watching her watching you go
Why did God make us for this so
To love and to say goodbye 
I don’t mean to always cry 
When I think of twenty two years ago
It’s just I promised that the low
Would bring me a high 
And I feel you in the sky
As I gaze into a scene 
And ask God to wake the dream
Up if He possibly could 
So I walk alone in the wood
At the back of our land
Until something takes my hand 
And leads me to a monument 
That points to the place the person went 
And how could hell be heaven sent 
I swear and I eff and blind 
But it doesn’t bring me respite from the mind
That tears me into treachery 
Look your love is not lost in me
It’s just fading into eternity
One you will come to know
My surrender will not let you go

The Blade Of Truth

.Reading time 1 minute.
Following their trail
What is left when all words fail
As I sit in the comfort of my chair
Picture all the people that are not there
And what can I do
In my peace to transmit it to you
As the bombs drop
Am I the one who can say stop
Look what you do
And that other you kill, that other is you
In militant prose
I have walked many a road
But they all lead to self doubt
And a tendency to do without
When the chips were down
I keep seeing fire burning my town
As the rabble spreads
If you want to stay calm, listen to yourself
As the noise drowns out
The lip service paid to token mouths 
Who have their say
There is something of us they cannot take away
Though they try
And brothers and sisters are sentenced to die
By their own kin
Don’t you know that you are him
In another’s clothes
And God knows
We’ve seen it before
As it visits many a shore
We decry
Leaving it til it’s too late to try
And reason with them
History is cycling and it’s happening again
Another round of the wheel
The likes of which you should never deal
With at all
If it’s only me I’ll still answer the call

That Leaden Feeling

.Reading time 1 minute.
To find that she doesn’t slake the lust
Lost in cobwebs of broken trust
And you look at me with a sigh
Coz you just want me to die
In the bed I’ve made for myself
And blame the tragedy on poor mental health 
So you are free to do as you wish
And never is our first kiss
To quell the storm
Do you keep a body warm
When you’re lost in pain
In agony and the rain
Clatters against the window 
But no Cathy to let her in though
As I quote a novel from centuries ago
Healthcliff was kinda mean though
Though the eternal rocks beneath
Resemble the pavement that make up the street
And concrete boots as I walk to you
Would you wear another’s shoe 
Just so you could find a mile
Leads you to break a smile 
As you see a new dawn
In a place where the person’s gone

Memories Of A Subterfuge

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I still remember the laughter of Doireann Fox
Or the way Macken undid all the locks 
The way the hills just cascade
With the joy of the girl they’ve saved
And I got full high on the scene 
But I was kicking it with a wonder dream
As everything is fluorescent light
The vibrant colours to ignite
What I saw in a storm
And when the air is heavy you get warm
But it’s too close in stifling heat
The crack of lightning at my feet
The year Deirdre broke my heart
Took everything, tore it apart
And left me reeling for an age
So I took refuge on the page
As I transcribed a degree of hell
Like Taylor Swift and All Too Well
In monuments to that time
I collapsed and all was fine
So I woke up to the day
The light within that cannot stay
Coz it can’t go anywhere
The sheet of me that it tear
Until I grow to realise
What is behind each pair of eyes
And Ciara is a steady hand
She looks at me and I am grand
Coz she so deeply understand
The winter that I had not planned
Or Sinéad in rocks and stone
With her I am not alone
As she regaled what was said
It’s all just torment in my head
The firing cinders, the blistering heat
The feeling that I cannot meet
Even one more day of time
Then I blinked out of what was mine
And into a sunshine that will brew
It all reflects the heart of you
Into ever deepening soul 
The school of cool as the waves roll

Compassion For The Chinese

.Reading time 1 minute.
I read somewhere about the practice of compassion
That those in Tibet 
Have for those who inflict pain
And that even grass needs the rain
And I don’t mean to make comparison to a bullet
But it was as though you held the trigger and pull it
As it’s facing me
And I’m shot through but it sets me free
As I collapse on the green floor in the Convent Of Mercy
We can’t wait for things to get worse, we
Must take action now 
And cultivate the mindful way
That it’s not in what people say
It’s the silence behind the word
That the monumental is heard 
And I took tea with the Lord 
And He instructs 
I look at the world and it seems fucked 
But I rise every day to the light
And I’m willing to stand with my brother in the night 
Til the dawn breaks across the land
The earth may be turning to sand 
But the soul is beginning to wake
Out of the bodies that it take 
To experience the life of the dual
And I may be a fool
But I gotta get back up
Every time that cup
Is slapped out of my hand 
If you understand 
Follow the path
Coz the demon’s wrath
Is threatening it all
But we can be the architects of the downfall
Of the season of hate
The time is Now, don’t wait

Real Person Then

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Making my peace with 2014
I snatched a thread in the bed of the dream
And everything cascaded in
And it was all the colour of him
And I couldn’t stand to hear Hozier play
It was all just a symbol of what’s taken away
When you tell the truth
And the pillars of youth
Fell in upon me 
Like I was so gone, we
Had to find a replacement to measure up
To the toxic flame of our burnt love

The Flame and the Letting Go

.Reading time 3 minutes.
Suffering means I love you more
And I’m always banging on your front door
To see will you let me in
And you just remind me of him
His casual ways, his beautiful dance
His chest, the rest and his hands
As they fold themselves into mine
It is the cessation of time
As in the moment held forever
Is the faith of a new endeavor 
As it opens out to sky
I love you and I don’t know why
Only the beauty to burst through
The diagrams I see in you
And in all that’s sad and lonely
I’m wondering why you don’t phone me
When we left it on so bad a note
And there are pages that I quote
Which makes up the dream of us
The magnitude, the waves, the trust
In all that we can’t imbue
I’m waiting for what you might do
With your love, the sea, the stars
The way you melt those prison bars
Down into metal ore
I know you better than I did before
But you are untouchable, unattainable 
The clouds are grey, the day raining and dull
And you’re just some other where 
I keep looking, you’re not there
And you may have another chick
And I the page that you flip
But anyway, bitterness won’t get me far
Not when you’re written on my heart
And I feel this seething for all we were
And the fact that I’m not her
And I know it’s selfish and self absorbed 
I should just take you at your word
When you say you’re happy there
That you’ve found love and true care
But I’m gnawing at the edges and all the seams
I still see you in my dreams
Sometimes you’re mine, more you’re not
I’d write them down but I forgot
Exactly what they had to say 
Some kind of I’m not going away
But everything does 
All that is is a remnant of what was
And I fight the tide
But the waves crash and abide
In the place they’ve always been
There is the dimension of the seen
Then other ones
Diagonals and come undones 
Would you marry me?
So that the bird could be set free
But I’m letting go
Of all I thought that I know
To find a new shore
Worship all I adore
As it comes in close
Would you haunt me like a Holy Ghost?

The Role Of Men

.Reading time 1 minute.
He got a dial on the rotary blade
And he claimed he knew how to save
But he sent me to some kind of hell
Then forbade me to ever tell
The story of how our love was made
He put the darkness into the shade
Of the sun that just shines on me
Or from within the holy sea
In the forests he was found
And I can't bear to hear the sound
Of what forever whispered that night
He asked me if I was alright
So I proceeded to spill the secret soul
Then he panicked and the whole
Was exiled to the far reaches of the kingdom
So far away he won't even sing them 
As a lullaby to his pain
The clouds were too apt to rain
Upon the land 
That used to be sand
To hold my feet
As they walked to the place where we meet
In between the intersection
Of my silence and his rejection
Of all that could ever be
What is the meaning of the word free

Writhing The Story

.Reading time 1 minute.
Torturing yourself won’t bring her back 
And hating yourself won’t cure the lack
That bubbles up out of your skin
You can’t lose, so you just win
And sigh that it’s all predetermined 
You’re in your seat but you’re squirming 
With the uncomfortableness of it all
John Mayer and the free fall 
That was 2012
Time to take a deeper delve 
And stand your sacred ground
As you hear the sound
Of tomorrow on the breeze
Not all men come to leave
Only the shadows knocking on your door
Repeating the refrain of you don’t love me no more
But it’s just an ancient pain
Playing on repeat again
To make a symphony out of the sound
Of the love and faith abound
In the green green grass of home
My love, you are never alone

Great Big Ocean

.Reading time 1 minute.
I thought the great big ocean would find me
But it’s always been just the tide
Counting the beats of my step 
To the heart that keeps me alive
And the summers in the city
Where I counted my blessing
He asked me if I was serious
I said shur I’m only messing
And the wild within me got unlocked
Like a fabled Pandora’s box
All the crucible to fly
Is to live to know how to die
Coz we’re born with these bodies 
We don’t know how to use
Then we get attached
To something we lose
And every breath is a tear
With a fragrance of flower
But people are reckless 
When they have power
And moan and shine and wither and break
Then tell you they do it for your sake
But it could never tally up
Not when you call it love
And I had a bite of the unconditional 
Now I move and walk and it’s not volitional 
Coz she spilt the beans on me
Now every secret’s flying free
And a demolishment has been rendered
In the space my hope engendered 
It cascaded tears
Now I measure the war in years
That I’ve been through
And I blame you
For all the absent meanders 
I don’t have all the answers
But can I learn to be a little less jaded
The pain’s the same but the scars have faded
And I only give leave for a moment to be
The epitome of running free

One Moment For Granted

.Reading time 2 minutes.
We can’t take one moment for granted
Nothing’s guaranteed
Life ends in death
We rely on the blood we bleed
To keep the body going
I look out the window
And the sky is snowing
Everything lending itself to another
The rain is frozen
And I lost a brother
In the storm
The river flowed
I may have taken the less travelled road
But it wasn’t for the good of my health
And it sure as hell hasn’t given me wealth
Except an inner gratitude 
And a reliance on the dude
That runs the show
Is there something I should know
Or do I just apt predict
So worried that I make myself sick
And have to be revolved on medication
There’s no point lying about my tv station
And if I’m off them for long
I start to feel like I don’t belong
To even the human race at all
I drink it in at the waterfall
And run, simply run down the hall
Of the institution I became part of
Resident of guarded love
And I hate but I also care
Feel the torment start to tear
At the edifice I’ve built
I don’t know why but I wilt
Under the glare of a heavy sun
And I’m always looking for the one
Who might make my stars shine bright
But the blade became my kryptonite
As it etched in stone what my heart would write
Only to feel the pull of the tide
The breath that means I am alive
As I drag my body out of the morass
I waken up when I am in class
And revive to a certain degree
Ten years to know it’s not just me
Who feels this way
And there needs to be a conversation 
About what it means to stay
And guidance from the ground
About the people you always want around
Do you hear the triangle ping
I let go and give up everything

My Jesus

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My Jesus opened the door
He let me see that there’s something more
Beyond the chasm of calls
The teaching of words, the world’s enthralled 
And I was on my knees begging to sky
Watching someone I love slowly die
Why don’t you do something, where are you
But you took her and put me through
Some kind of hell
What is it the story that you tell
That the Almighty is all that exists
Then why did you put me on your list
And it’s a sudden awning pain 
Like the cold when you’ve been out in rain
And I’m on the floor
With my head resting against the door
And a sudden spark ignites
Wherefrom did all these lights
Appear
And I hear her say, my dear
Like she always did when she was alive
And her flowers didn’t survive 
But something she planted did, God knows
It’s been living in me and it shows
So I wash my face, dry my tears
And I’ve been holding it in for years and years
And it’s finally singing a song
My Lord, you did nothing wrong 
And it’s more than a future reunite
It’s a love that holds you in the night
When you’re punching the air
Cursing all that isn’t there
But something new is born
The moment that the fabric’s torn

Writing My Storm

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Photo by Johannes Plenio on Pexels.com
Writing my storm
Well, at least I'm warm
Coz the thunder rumbles 
And the lightning cracks ground 
And I can feel the heat surround 
As the cold front meets it match
An opposite in a roof of thatch
As it sets fire to what it knows
And it's, you know, anything goes
And I've destroyed everything I once had
I speak my mind and I feel bad 
But at least I'm living 
Is it time for more forgiving 
Of the grudge match I keep with her
Coz I'm mad at what we were 
As she'd take a little pick
And chip away at me, so to speak 
Carving out a Michelangelo
From all the places I will not go 
Til suddenly the dial it spins 
And she's cast from my withins
In a door slamming shut on time
I can't acquit you for this crime
Coz if I did you'd do it again
And I don't know if I can call you friend
As you take what you used to know
And sacrifice it on the go
On an altar you worship days 
And I'm confused in so many ways
Coz I thought we were cool but I resolve
Not to be a problem to solve
But the answer I've always craved
I guess it's Heaven and the unsaved

Intensity

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I’m burning up like the flow of the river 
As all of life calls me to forgive her
Coz I can’t split in two just to spite my face
Or deny the regard of constant disgrace
And I was only a teen
But I saw through the cracks in the dream
Untoward a vast expanse
Where music makes the people dance
And I feel as though I’m on fire
Like I’ve been lit by something higher
But it always seems to come back to ground
Like I’m rooted in the sound
Of you saying goodbye
Then realizing what it means to die
As I sweated it out in the class
Then fell victim to what could not last
And I stirred on the floor as I heard her call
It was like I’d lost the wall
Separating me from creation
A moment stunned and then elation
You can call it enlightenment or waking up
Or just realizing all is love
Then I see you with your eyes downcast
And I try to forget the past
But the memory of the crush is ever fresh
And I’m still not there yet
At the part they say release
But I may just be at peace

Wasteland

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That year was a wasteland and I was the bomb
That you dropped from the plane with some aplomb
Just cause your territory had been invaded
And a hole pierced through the veil you masqueraded
And all of the people who lost their lives
Are collateral damage so your city thrives
And I in the moment was eviscerated
My parts to obliterate what you created
And though you are fine and in your warm chair
You lost much more than I did there
To perish what you do not understand
And show the world the wrath of your hand
Then blame it on timing or the way things go
Others may believe you but I know
And hold in my spirit all you tried to destroy
But you’re not a man, no you are just a boy
Who’s playing at games he knows nothing about
If you’re a real king then you don’t have to shout
Or make others suffer for what you cannot spare
I looked for your heart but it wasn’t there
So lay claim to the story and the narrative
History is written by those who cannot forgive
But instead draw lines to denote what they’ve won
But it’s only the living you can kill with a gun
And prove that you are the sun in the sky
But even you too must die
And face your maker or the absence of one
You’ll look for me back but I am done
And never will hesitate the time
I let you go and felt the sublime
As aching powers crave the root
They can never touch the absolute

Born and Raised

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imageWhen words are just not enough to explain the hurt you feel
And you try to cope, as the saying goes, but you just cannot deal
When spider legs entwine and trap you in their cages
You spew it out on paper, on magnificent pages
Cause expression is the key to understand your mind
And when you have stopped the noise you can leave it all behind
Cause forever’s in a moment that never will defer
There will finally come a time
when you realise what it all was for
And the revolution will be complete as all the lies dawn Truth
It would be an understatement to say I had a tumultuous youth
But all the beauty and the conflagration is a white fire blaze
I guess that you could say I took all these years to raise

Photo Credit: The Work of Byron Katie – Facebook