Don’t lose your humanity when you grow up Remember you were founded on love Like every good city And there is self pity And there is blame But know the name That is given to you Is not all there is when they ask what is true And I put a flower in the shield of the riot policeman Because I know that only open hearts can Remind a solider what he really is Not a function of what it means to merely exist As a job or as a duty There is beauty Within every man No matter what he can Entertain When he seeks salvation in vain In the trigger of the gun And the false notion that he is the only one Who feels this way But everything will eventually pass away But do you realise what is eternal in the now And if you do then what will you allow To happen on your watch Do you keep one eye on the clock As you hear it tick your life away And you gather sand because you cannot stay In an earthen grain And is it wrong that I see the pain In their mocking eyes As they disguise Their despair At having to go in there And break what someone else built But now the milk is spilt And do we cry or do we clean it up Do we make it worse or do we love And hold the hand of the screaming baby Is that what it takes to save me?
What can I do I’m just a speck of dust Born on a spy Wednesday that I can’t trust And do I really betray the saviour Or is it just something I pray for As I sit in St. Mel’s Cathedral And wonder if there is really a thing so evil As what we’ve been taught exists But I was flung into the mists And there was no option but to face the darkness I give who I was a parting kiss As I step out of her skin And into the one I’m walking in And I’m scared of death and revolution Because once an idea became a final solution That rested on the destruction And some babies are born by suction As mothers die just to give life And women sacrifice to be someone’s wife And men on the front Call those they hate some kind of cunt As they get their guns ready to fire Will humanity ever tire Of pulling the trigger As we only get bigger On a planet that stays the same size And people must show they’re having the time of their lives Or they do not exist And is it any wonder that I’m pissed Or that we have a crisis of suicide When it means so little to be alive The price that hangs above our head So vapid that some would rather be dead Than face into the storm I choose to weather And wouldn’t we all rather be lying in the heather Soaking in the moor But the poor Echo in my mind And ask me not to leave them behind And wealth is not a measure of riches So I just kick it with my bitches And find a way to keep what is precious in me Even if it means that I don’t let anyone see The cog that turns my wheel Must I repeat, don’t be ruled by what you feel In the age of Iraq And an atrocity you cannot take back Not as hard as you try There are those who send the wounded to die As a salve for what they need to do And I passed a homeless man who had not one but two Limbs amputated And I may be educated But I can never know how that feels And something in me just reels As the veteran sings And thanks me heartily for the things I give to him Money and a smile but how could a country win When we are one humanity And consciousness knows only one way to be And that is to embrace the other For every man is my brother And holds my empty hands As the hourglass is spilling sands Onto an eternal beach What does Earth School teach?
There are deviations from the norm And some people said it was just bad form As she excommunicated me from the religion I love Because I fit around that hand like a glove And she told me I was too perfect and pristine And it became a nightmare before I woke from the dream And found out what God really mean But I still bear the scar From the mark made by what you are And I know you’re deeper and true And it’s just that the losing of you Did more for me than having you could do And I became spacious as the sky is blue As open and wide and as far as the eye can see When I lost the will to live out my destiny And fought to find a spark in the dark of night And no one thought to ask if I was alright Because I was the villain In your own personal film About how you were the victim of fate And people love someone to hate And they gathered around my ghost And I watched her lose what she loved the most In this melee And now I’m free Of all that gathers at the hem And you would do it to me again If I gave you the chance So I took away the music that used to make you dance To the sound of us Do you hear the quiet of broken trust And I lean on the two of the old brigade I close my eyes and pour it into Ciara and Sinéad Because I know they have my back And just because I feel that I lack What I was before Doesn’t mean there isn’t something to adore In the statue I’ve become There’s wisdom in the age you lose when you are young And I wish you the best of all that there is Because the rest of what I am is His In the sudden sun that dawned upon the glen And I close my eyes and whisper Amen To every prayer I’ve ever uttered I open my eyes like windows I had shuttered
There is a boy somewhere far away And I know that no matter what he may say He can’t escape me Or erase me From his grasp And the asp Bit me on the neck Of the dream I thought to wreck And I wonder when we both might die Me by accident and you because you want to try To see what’s beyond the pale And I know what is not up for sale But I have no cash to buy Just the lashes I use to lie About who I am I look away and that’s part of the plan Because I cannot let you see That you have found your home in me Because I know that someday we’ll be separated Whether by force or because we’ve been education To believe in the divide And I abide Somewhere between God and Mass Between being a good girl and getting an A in class And it’s something growing up in an Ireland in transition Where people still use ammunition To fire at you While tolerance is preached to you in the pew And it’s not okay to be gay Then it is (or at least that’s what they say) And I think of Stephen Gately And the people who cannot find a home lately As the rows erupt And people on the news say that we’re fucked But I see another scene And it resides in all that we’ve been In all these centuries And the millennia before they told us who we could be If we just believed But the dragon falls and I’m relieved Of the burden I bear And I watch the fabric tear On all that I thought I knew This land always meant more to me than you And I know you’re somewhere in the city And I tried it for a while but it’s a pity But I missed the hills of Kilglass And the soul that pours through the grass In the fields so green The college was a concrete jungle of all I’d never been And I found some kind of refuge in Darragh But my heart is like a sparrow That sits on a lonely branch and sings For the boys that gives air to its wings And the girls fight over what handbag is on brand And I just stare and watch the sand Slipping out of our hands And wonder why they don’t understand That they’re gripping something that is made of leather And won’t make them feel any better And I know I’ve got to get out of there Then I find Tessa and Jennie and I know that they care As we find some kind of peace in Nutgrove Avenue And I drove my own car down the roads of you As I stay up til five Exuberant in the knowledge that you’re alive Somewhere over there on the west coast And I don’t mean to boast But I think my man is the best Because he’s deeper than all the rest And I cannot contemplate A series of x’s and y’s that do not equate To you and I forever So I sail this endeavour To it’s logical conclusion My confession and your confusion
There was Darragh in the city And I felt him with me And I hope he's happy and free And I wonder does he ever think of me And if he does what does he surmise Does he think that all we had were lies Or faint veins of lines That mapped the land so undefined I wish I could set the record straight But I just wait and wait and wait And long to be your Jess I saw you converse and I confess That I watched him with his guitar And I wished I could take it to serenade what you are And is it embarrassing to know That the girl that loved you has not let it go And you may have a wife and children too And I wonder if I could still talk to you In our silent communication It was the greater part of my education In my years in the Quinn School Of Business I'm not sure the ocean that I bear witness To will ever come my way again But I know you were the best of men And you taught me that sly Would never trespass in your eye Because you let me really look And I read you like I would read a book Enraptured and all caught in the pages I found my soul amongst the sages But I found my beating heart in your gaze I think of you every time that song plays
All I feel when I look in the mirror Is the flawed sinner And I see all the little points That someone somewhere should anoint With a holy oil And the daily toil Doesn’t seem to leave a mark But my spark Seems to be dampened down By the grey that rules this town And I saw it at seventeen That if I didn’t wake this dream I would be ground like the grain in the wheel And there are people who know how to feel But I could never abide In anything but raw and alive And fire in my bones and skin I’m everything when I’m with Him And when I’m not It’s as though I forgot What I am and see And that everything is God’s plan beyond history Or the chasm that pulls my skin Until I am one with Him And there is no distinction or prose To separate me from the roads That lead to the one place we are And all of us are born from a star Just dust that has been given breath That we all seem to forget Ever passes through our lungs And we are not gradated on rungs Of a ladder to the sky There’s something within that does not die Not now and not ever And it has been a hopeful endeavour To live at peace with what is Sealed with a holy kiss
In the infinite moment of us You walked away and the broken trust Still slits like shards of glass On the ground of the class That only ever gave me a pass In it’s hall of induction And some babies are born with the power of suction But it’s not something I think that I will do And it might not be me but it could be you So go make your life With the girl that I call your wife I won’t interfere Just know it’s because I hold you dear And I could never fulfill Your last testament and will Of a perfect fold My streets are paved with gold But I only walk them when I want exercise Like I only look at you when I want to see your eyes And the disguise fall Oh, all this endless talking to the wall And you may never leave her But I think you believe her When she says that I am troubled too But I’m just bubbled like you Brewing like a pot on the hob And seceded like a man on the job As he hammers the nail into place I look away when I see your face In every man I meet I just can’t take the heat Though I would like to try And I know you wanted to die But I couldn’t fold the paper And I don’t hate her I am grateful to her For being there for you When I was sailing a sea that is so blue Telling you about the rainforest I did give you a promise That I would return But I didn’t realise the letter burn In the fire with the stamp still on I love you that’s why I’m gone
There is a bullet in my body, some kind of shrapnel I got from the war I fought With a boy who can’t be bought Not with trinkets polished to gold Not with promises of growing old Only the truth raises his eyes And lets him see with no disguise As he looks into me Letting part of it go free As it struggles to get loose What is the point that you prove When you seek to impress Me so you can see me undress In your mind And I ask what’s left behind In the water that we find Somewhere on the shore And I visit Loch Lomond and adore The wilderness of mountains frame When the English played their games With the lives of their so called subjects But I reject Their colonial expanse That would have killed the dance Every human heart is party to And I see that freedom in you As you fight with me And you don’t know that your integrity Is my favourite thing about ya Did you think I doubt ya When you say that no means no And I love you but I let it go And trust that fate will bring us together In this sea of highland weather The Celt in my bones Won’t leave it alone And I just call you “one more time” Would it be a crime If I crossed your girlfriends line That has been drawn in the sand And I cannot love someone else’s man Though I do My soul will ever call to you Across the ocean between us I think God might dream us When we conceive of a future we own And do you lose if the game has been thrown?
Is there a girl code Because I let him into my abode And now he won’t get the fuck out Even when I told him what I’m about And that I didn’t know about you When I let him do what he wanted to do As I felt the pulling thunder In the sheets I was lying under And I turned to meet his face Now all I see is the disgrace Of knowing that he was with you The whole four years I wanted to Let him be And our history Is tainted and blue And I guess it’s nothing new To say that men will connive Every minute they’re alive But I’m bitter now And jaded and somehow Only see the dark side of the grain As the sky pours with rain Down unto the glen And amen Is the end to every prayer Was he ever even there When he whispered those words to me Like a future planning history As we interlock our fingers Now I just jump at phone ringers Coz I don’t know what the news will be And tragedy Always seem to come down the line And you said that he was fine But I wonder do you know him at all Because I spent an age staring at his wall To divinate And I wouldn’t want a man of mine in that state So I offer him an olive branch or two But he snaps back that he’s with you So I let it fall into the flood And hope that the result will be good But it’s a burden And I wonder if you heard him When he cried on his own The boy I love on the golden throne
Am I the Jolene of the story As he implored me To just let him be And I feel a rankling in my dignity Why would he take this story down As if it would destroy his town And I have no beef with his girl But I had to tell him that the world Revolves around his sun of stars And I was chasing cars Around my head in my room When I was fifteen and kissed the doom As it met you there And I know you care But I rip the page from the typewriter Because my friend said I would have to fight her To get to you And it’s not something I’ve a mind to do I just wanted you to know That I have not let go
The forest child in me Is longing for the rivers to let her go free As I take refuge on the beach That someone thought to teach Me was there And I’m so grateful and I care About what will happen to this next generation Will it be beyond an education As I meditate And something puts me in another state Where I can fly And I am not afraid to die Into incandescent blue Just because you Clutch onto fear Doesn’t meant that love is not near Ready to abide And something in me hide Away this secret deathless realm From the people who would submerge the helm Like the girl with the degree In deciding what to do with me When I confess That everything in that red dress Always felt the same And she knows my name But she doesn’t get my soul If I told her each wave roll Would she understand And I decide to forgive my man
The unassailable goneness when you lose someone you love And there’s no point looking for them in the sky above Just an empty black hole, a colossal void I withdraw into myself and people think that I’m annoyed When I lash out at everyone (coz they don’t really care) Then abandon the one boy who thought to dare To breach my trenches, to traverse no man’s land I look at him with suspicion but he offers me his hand And it’s so delectably soft, so inconceivably frail That I know in that moment that my defences fail To keep out the love that is pouring through my heart You know I tried my best, I didn’t mean for it to start But it did and it does And now I say that I’m in love With a mortal form of the eternal being I keep wiping my eyes, through the crying I am seeing As he turns from my gaze into his own reverie And I contemplate the moment that God let us be Held for a second like a ball in mid air For once everything and the next not even there As life pulls us apart in the guise of what we’re freeing Now I don’t even know the landscape you are seeing Through those precious eyes and lashes to frame Though time and space expand I still feel the same As I ever did, now then and before In this world of passing things I found something I adore Something that endures as my riverbed soul Can’t separate the distance that it would take to roll And crash a wave upon a shore like I know it will be I wonder who’ll die first, will it be you or me Because we are not vampires, we don’t get a thousand years And I’ve been building up the pressure but the dam bursts with tears And you’re with another woman but that is not the reason It’s the simple fact that all things have a season As our leaves bloom and grow then turn rusty red I thought of you like a hero now I think of you in bed And all the dials turn on the sun of our day Please don’t make it hurt when you go away
It’s a nightmare we’re all dreaming And somewhere the children are screaming And it aches in my heart and it pulls at my soul Something crushes the begging bowl And flattens the land The hills and valleys that used to understand All the movement and all the sighs I watch a brother break as his sibling dies And his wails of pain seem all to familiar to me Because I know the crushing weight of the sea As it pummels the shore What is left to adore In this broken world And if I am just a girl How do I effect change But I watch the stars rearrange Every season in the sky As I ask God why He could allow such things And if the spirit has wings Does it fly away from here When it’s separated from the ones we hold dear In a man made disaster And there is no plaster Than can fix bullet holes And we’re all just supposed to play our roles In this great big cosmic machine And I thank God that it is just a dream As I rouse to wake The people that die for humanity’s sake I feel something break And go free in me Are we doomed to repeat history Or can we be the change we want to see If there’s a man in the mirror it starts with me
I got lost in the third eye blues And everything called me to pay my dues But I didn’t have any money Though I’m wealthy as fuck, honey I slot the puzzle piece into the jar As I wonder what you are And the nomad in me looks for change But it’s not the kind that rattles when you’re outta range It’s the kind that breaks like the sun Across the sky and over everyone And I play the perfect princess I know to whom I must address That painful moniker And you’ve all already met her Somewhere in my early teens When I was still staring across moonbeams Into the stars I shook against the prison bars And she had the key I didn’t realise that she was locking me In there Or if I did I didn’t care Because she used to make me laugh But when she shattered the glass she didn’t do it by half And I let it go, forgiveness now I’m good at that but some remains somehow Like a grain of sand in the oyster shell I grit my teeth as I wish her well And I’ve lots of secrets I will never tell Well not to her, not now, though she rings the bell That signals me to come But, hun I’m not Pavlov’s dog And in the fire there’s a log Burning more than well enough to keep me warm And though you brought the storm I don’t hate you And fair play to the men who date you They have more steel than me But nothing is more real than eternity And it’s something that will not break So though you shake Everything in sight I still give a shite
I try to block the truth from reaching me And all the universe is teaching me Has to turn into a baseball bat Instead of the original welcome mat He offered me love in the extreme And though it was a part of the dream It had something real to it too And I realised I was in love with you But I turned away Because what is it that people say We are too different to make it work And you are bathed in the hurt You’ve spent your whole life accumulate And you’ve let it make you hate People you don’t understand But you’re beautiful and I love you, man And I know the dial will turn to spin on me So I let you go free And I feel your resignation and resolution But you know that is no solution So I have to intervene Did you hear me scream When my brain came apart in two That was life splitting me from you And we both fragmented into an entangled particle And people start to call me “some article” But I don’t mind Because I have not left you behind You’re still in my soul Like the bed of truth and rock and roll And it doesn’t matter, come what may I’ll sing this song to you and you’ll wake and say I love you Laura And as I read your aura It will speak volumes of colour And all that made you duller Will lift and release And we will make that beast Retract into its cave Go back into the dark so grave Like the boy I could not save He became the man I crave
I miss David more than I can explain I look outside and it’s rain And it was always sun when he was around Like he gave meaning and life to sound And he burst colour into the scene As though I was alive within the dream And now all is dull and grey And what is it that people say Life is what you make it And love is deep so don’t forsake it But I don’t know how to utter your name Without making you take the blame For all that we could never be I saw you down on one knee Proposing to me But you laugh in my face and the indignity Of the moment have me cracking open The shell that was the kernel of hoping For more than just words on the page And the silent rage Pounds against the walls of my castle And I wonder is romance worth the hassle If it means I must go up against Your past and your present tense And maybe you’ll never know what it meant When you accepted the letter I sent
I like an iced drink on the rocks Like I used to like Seapoint and the playing slots Because my grandmother created a memory with me As we bet on 5p To reveal the mystery And she had lost my grandfather to history But she did not stay long Is it wrong To see the poetic madness in following the one you love To the grave or to above If that’s how you see it And something tells me I’ve got to just be it And he’s miles away from me But I don’t want him to see He’s always been the one my soul chooses And everything is just weight that he loses As he untethers his pain And something brings us together again I’m making this masterpiece so that you Might know who I’m talking to When I follow the fuse To the one I always choose
Is to be mother just to gain an experience Nothing to do with the child But a biological urging that has run wild And we’re watching little ones bleed to death On a screen but we forget As we bring new babies to this earth That they are capable of feeling hurt And I am reminded of a promise I made Before the sun put me in the shade That I would never fall to the fallow field That only knows how to yield To a power greater than it Fertile ground that only ever sit In the seed to germinate So he asks the girl on a date And it may be for the masses, it isn’t for me But I love them so much and they do not see As the mattress bows and the bodies writhe But they’re ashamed and so they hide Their lovemaking under the covers Because they should never be lovers According to modern society You must do it in the dark or someone will see And you’ll go to hell (or something like that) But I took the baseball bat And smashed that particular window Because I don’t believe it’s a sin, though There is shame and there is expense When you do it outside the present tense And I may be tantric and I may be yogi But I don’t walk with someone that doesn’t know me In the depths, not surface tension And the only way to make an extension Is to know just who you are But when I saw that boy I saw the star Burning in his heart and soul I was just eighteen years old And he six months my junior But still 1990 so acceptable sooner Than I would have liked And my courage spiked As we sat next to each other As though the apple had fallen into the hands of a lover And we both took a bite But it is alright Fifteen and a half years later Though there is a crater Left by that meteor strike I just thought you should know I like You in that way Though what is it that you say You don’t got time Well, here I have plenty, take some of mine
There’s a dead in her eyes That nothing can disguise But it always lit up when she looked at me Didn’t think that I would ever be The reason why the curtains close As she follows me down the road To nowhereland And it’s all sand That just gathers at my feet An hourglass when we meet Somewhere in between And if it’s all a dream Then why are we crying Over the people that are dying Left right and centre And so I enter The hallowed halls Of the people who can walk through walls And the longing calls Me to let go of the line That had me doing hard time In a crater not of my making And all the people that I’m forsaking When I take that pill And it will kill If I keep on keeping on So I have to get gone And on the road Her carriage slowed Just to take a look at me And she never sees the free I’ve come to be Only ever the apparent chains The sunlight reflects upon when it rains And who gains When everything is lost Don’t we all just pay the cost For the brutal tide That means we are alive Because we can feel Everything that’s real And vital and true And just because the colour blue Is sad and lonely Doesn’t mean you can’t phone me Anytime you want I change the font To match my mood Meanwhile you just sit and brood Over a perceived slight But you are alright Aren’t you, aren’t you I daren’t ask lest it be true That the fields are green far past the slide Of what it means to be alive And they click go on the PowerPoint And I never want to leave the oint- Ment powder red What goes on inside a person’s head Is the least of what they are I look up and see that star Shining over my crucifixion My errant ways and my eviction From the stable then I just don’t want to go through that again Not for even the best of men So I take what they offer And the coffer Is full But my skin’s as thin as cotton wool They use to mask Everything they cannot ask Me now the ship has sailed The chain linked fence and I impaled Over the least of crimes My only solace in these rhymes That never lead to the sea What is it that you are asking of me Once more, arís Some Celtic chieftain once had a feast But she wasn’t invited And so the war ignited The gunpowder flame That only ever lands upon a name
There’s a man that sings about a drugs binge he’s been on Like how he’s been helluva gone And I can’t help but empathise Because there’s a kind of high that never dies Even when you kill it with starvation Or waiting for a boy at a train station That only comes once in a blue moon He rocks the atmosphere when he’s in the room And I just let it be Because I am free Of all he tries to contain If he was a cloud he would rain All over my parade If I am the sun then he is the shade Of the tree my grandfather made for me He placed a swing on a branch and us three Share something that will never pass I don’t care if you think it won’t last My heart is as solid as serene As anything is beyond the dream And everyone is someone’s child And every woman somewhere is wild In her heart and soul Even if she pays the toll As she passes through the joint As if she’ll gain an extra point For due diligence and deference I gave Deirdre a second chance But I may as well have talked to the wind Coz she is fixated on how she has sinned And aims to take me with her And I get a little bitter In the years that pass Under the realm of the crass And the key to my soul won’t speak to me I wonder if I’m just letting her be free Or if I’m resigned to the fate Of looking for some guy to date So that I might be whole Coz I left her with my soul And she is the keeper of that part In the greater region of my heart As it beats red and true Pumping oxygen for all of you
Meeting Joe Black was the end of my life The birth of the Son and the last of the wife That had ever been in my veins I dried my eyes on sleeves that are tear stained And he looked so soft and serene Til he tore through my dream With a knife and an attitude Coz he was a really cool dude And he had a point to prove He could never lose To a girl Coz the world Only ever appreciates A woman for who she dates And she’s chosen you And now you don’t know what to do So you just set a fire And I tire Of this leadránach So I leave you for the shock Of your life I won’t say it twice As I give you every chance To ask me to the dance And when you don’t Well I won’t Stick around To be the sound You love to hear But only when no one else is near And you can hide Behind the facade you hate inside Because all you ever do Is hop scotch between the lines that you want to Really cross But all is not lost Maybe someday your light Will meet it’s own Jean White
I want him so bad that it literally hurts And as time’s going on it’s only getting worse As he comes and goes, close then far Says he’s born from the farthest star And I hold out Coz I’ve got that doubt Is he the man I want to marry Does he see me as an equal or just someone to carry His child somewhere in the future And I had a wound but he was the suture That tied it up and kept it in Healed my soul with that irreverent grin And his eyes dart to and fro I wonder where his mind would go If he could read mine I know I shine And I’m a gem in the dark It’s just you sorta hit the mark Right on the head And I know you want me in your bed As you tell me lies Think I buy the disguise You’re selling with the full of your heart Is it just because you want a part Of me for your own To impress upon me what could be known With your help And is there anyone else In this whole scene That could wake me, then take me from the dream And you’re shy in a certain way Not in the usual bashful sway But in a kind of sensitivity When you tell the truth and then look at me As though I would judge and turn you out But instead I want to kiss your mouth Coz this is more than intimacy When I trust in what you’re saying to me And it didn’t break It’s just I wake From a slumber that was self induced Startled by what you produced In your ardent soul Do you think we could make our parts whole If we just dropped the pretence I think that my defence Is the thing that separates Me from men I’d love to date And that barrier Between what we were Fell right on through And even though I seem distant from you Nothing’s changed I love guys that are sort of strange
We watch it unfold before our eyes Another day, another Palestinian dies And their culture is erased like it has no meaning And the people are not dreaming Because it’s no nightmare But a reality that would scare The most stoic into submission I don’t need anyone’s permission To say what I feel to be true The end of the genocide starts with you And I, as we raise a voice to lift the blockade So that the only shade The children know is that of a tree Palestine is forever free No matter the walls and doors Checkpoints and bombed out floors But a spirit nothing can kill If I know anything it’s that Love never will Ever be defeated And my courage has not retreated Far enough that I will not say I can see another way For the tide to beat the shore You are not alone, mo stór
I can’t make you here now I can only allow Life to make its way to me And set you free From the shackles you chain Around yourself like acid rain That just burns its way through And if there’s anything we can do It’s to hold the might Of the fuel for our fancy in the candlelight As everyone tries to blow it out And my mouth Reaches to you So I could breathe my love into The lungs that you use To abuse The air that turns into words Because they all go unheard By the great weight of swim I don’t know why I liked him I just did and it gripped hold of my soul My sister says I should just roll In the sea for a century And turn into what she’s made of me All sticks and stones And brittle bones She loves to break And I should forsake My soul for proprietary But my heart just won’t let me It bashes me up against the wall Then throws me over a waterfall Til I’m all worn out and in confusion My brain is heavy with all the bruising It has taken And then I waken And look up into his eyes And know a love that never dies Again I thought I had given up on men
I try not to feel it Will time heal it If I just let it burn But the world just turn And they grasp my arms Tell me they’re keeping me safe from harm And I feel the burning within It all came from him As I can barely hold on To what is long gone And who I am craves for his flesh The terror to think he might regret Ever knowing me I cry on the phone, the tears are flowing from me As he grits his teeth and his tongue clicks And one of his best friends says he can be a dick And I just think of that Taylor Swift song What if I was wrong And you never loved anything And the ring I thought I would wear Is just part of the dress that would tear As she wears it down the aisle And I watch you smile Right into the face of your demise But there’s death in your eyes And it’s something I cannot avoid It’s not like just loving one of the boys It brings me to the brink of surrender And a day that you “barely remember” And I wonder if the gaslit anthem plays Or if there’s any truth in what he says When he says that I am beyond the pale Is it just that I am not up for sale That gets under his skin And he was flush with the cash but I wanted him Not the dollars he owes To the person whose garden he sows With seeds aplenty But I look at him and his face is empty Devoid of all emotion And the commotion Gets too loud So I let the borrowed fools crowd Around me and operate On the person who just wants a date Sometime in April, coz it’s just the right air It would be great if you could meet me there If she lets you slip away Out of her grasp and the break of day Sounds a new dawn If you look to me you will see what was never gone Only unobserved I gave you my word
Manifesting Andy, I try to look the other way And pretend I cannot say What is the fire inside of me Is there another way for me to be And it caused me physical pain When I first heard your name It was when I was carted off to the mental So much more than words in central Dublin and they said I needed to be there As ambivalent as a girl without a care When she was interrupted And have we fucked it Up In the name of love And it all comes around to the scene The way that it could wake my dreams The loins that long The moment you belong When you’re with someone And you can see your son And daughter running around And they’re not even born and you hear the sound Of their peeling bells of laughter Just like their father As you sit by his side How do I hide I have the whole future planned out And I’m afraid my doubt Will kill what we are We may have all been forged within a star But we are black hole bound I know oblivion when I hear the sound Of your mystery ring Would you give me one if I gave you everything And you just sigh and look away So I leave it for another day
How do people get like that, is it believing that the age you are Is anything more than revolutions around a star And I may be thirty three But I’ve never been more free As they put handcuffs on me And tell me to preserve my dignity If I want to shine But I’m self effulgent and love is mine Though you wouldn’t know it from my visage Don’t feel bad It isn’t all your fault I kicked you out of the vault After letting the key slip into your hand And now I demand That you break like a wave upon my shore If you want me to love you more But it’s just like listening to the scene She wakes her own dream Up from where it lay And I don’t get a say About the perforate you opened And something is hoping In what you never were to me I take a moment and I just be
In the land where death is real People lie and people steal People cheat and people thieve But it’s all coz they believe In a sudden end and in separation It is reinforced by years of education Not only in the school But by social rule Where they must obey Everything their elders say Only to grow up to be A repetition endlessly Instead of creative and new And everything they swore they would do When they were five years old No one has to be told To be pilot, to be king To be bird upon the wing But you have to be sold On being bad, on being “bold” And every child knows The phrase that everything goes The way it should be I love eternity As it presents myself Amidst “mental health” Challenges, they say I’m crazy But you know it doesn’t phase me When I’m twenty eight and in Dean Swift But the captivity was a gift As they try to sit me down And say that I will drown In all that is unwell It’s a byword for hell But I just don’t buy Everything they try To sell It’s a secret I never tell But I’m soaring high Something can never die And I will go to the lowest low If it means that someone else’s dreams Will wake before they shake By the bones and skin It’s not foolhardy to trust in Him He who moves the sky into spacious understanding He who shows the way without ever demanding That you should follow suit Oh, the world that we pollute With our constant pain That falls as acid rain Or bombs upon the children Instead of heartfulness to fill them With hope and with pride And gratitude that they’re alive I’m sorry to say That going the wrong way Means you must repent And all things are heaven sent Until you realise That every time someone cries It’s an echo of the sound That means God is around To show you where the deep Is something you can keep I didn’t know that I Was blessed until my Whole world was shaken But just like in a dream I waken And suddenly realise That nobody dies Not in the way we think But you don’t know water until you drink From that holy font It is everything I want And everything I never knew to ask I just dropped the mask And all was revealed I guess you could say that I was healed
I dreamed about you last night You were as fragile as a butterfly And it was like in real life I just had to watch you die And yet you do not leave me here You kiss me like you always did, dear On my forehead or on my cheek And when I used to feel weak I would run to your side I would hide And then let you find me And you didn’t mind me Being a little bit strange And all the peace rearrange To atoms that say that you are gone But your song Will have life as long as I am breathing You were always something I was needing As I would lie into you And at fifteen I watched you Washing the dishes at the sink And all I could do was think Of what would happen the day you died If I would break like waves of tears I cried And I insulated myself Under the veil of mental health Because I can’t shatter again And there are legions of men Who would take my hand And make me “understand” What true love means But it’s insubstantial as the stuff of dreams And you are wholly really And even though you’ve left I still feel You in my veins and blood Like when I was lying in the wood And I felt the soul of the trees Kiss me when I’m on my knees And I know that your prayers save me Even when I cave, we Will always be a two by two And it’s not up to someone forgetting you It’s something that you always are You are not on some far distant star You are in my heart And in this instant we are not apart
I get slated for being emotional and sincere There was that time I told you I hold you dear And you attacked and ripped my hands Away from your paper thin heart and the sands Flow out of your hourglass As you try to make a thing last That never will Because time will kill The bodies that you preserve And the girl that you serve Must one day kiss you for the last time And my only crime Was knowing there will come a day When one or the other of us will go away And I can’t speak forever when I see the horizon And I don’t know what you have your eyes on As you stare into space Meanwhile I just stare at your face Looking at the grass And time will pass But something stays the same There is a love that will not lay the blame Not even when your dripping venom Tries to make an enemy Of me Then return to eternity Where it can fester its wound I saw it all and the doom Ate me up from the middle And the best part of me may be hidden But you can find it if you look You don’t have to do anything by the book You swear by And I hear you cry In my dreams How does a man come apart at the seams When you just tell him the truth That you idolise our youth And that time will also be the proof Of what cannot be destroyed We are not just girls and boys We are immortal souls Water though the wave rolls And breaks onto the land I wonder if I take your hand Would you be a friend Coz true love will never end
The tears that flow It’s been nearly twenty years since you let go And people tell me to move on But how do I ignore the space where you’re gone A beacon of love and trust And I know they just aren’t fussed Coz to lose a grandmother is par for the course Something common, like weddings and divorce But no one told me what it would be like to have you ripped From the fortress I had equipped With everything I had So nothing bad Could happen And you were just napping In the kitchen when Rocky lay down by the settee And I had had fourteen years when you showered love on me And I know I am closer to the grave Than the point that could save You from the monsters that eat your soul But somehow I know that Jesus made you whole And the cancer spreads I’m crying in bed But there’s nothing I can do I can’t heal you At least not yet But there’s something I will never forget Like when you told me good things come to those who wait And I trudge through the hate Coz I know your advice is true And there was wisdom that had its home in you And you made rhubarb tart for us all I take a place by the wall But you wink at me And save the biggest piece and for free You offer me the whole damn world I’ll always be your girl
Her heart shatters like glass Like images of our past When I am eighteen years old Listening to the stories they’ve told And it’s “Brothers and Sisters” on the screen As I try to hold onto all I had been All this time But it breaks apart everything that’s mine And I found I couldn’t speak I thought it was coz I was weak And depressed and schizophrenic They told me the car just needs a mechanic And she gets out a wrench And that year I wasn’t on the bench I was the captain of the team When we won on the field of dreams And I wrote out the speech I would make to the girls Before we would live like we were each other’s world And my sister told me not to over think it But we won the cup and now we drink it Every single time the water flows There is something that never goes And I’m sure they think I don’t care Because I walked out of there But it was just because I saw The way that the law Could be bent in our favour And I am nobody’s saviour But I will let the light flow through me Like I did in the years when time was free And we wore yellow and blue I don’t know if you know that you Mean so much to me Spanish for beautiful and infinity
The secret store Are all the stories I kept before I found a blank page To hold all my rage And people are multifaceted I don’t think she acted it When she told me to go fcuk myself That day in her presence And the mark still leaves a crescent Shaped bite on my arm I never thought she would harm Me in that way But that’s the price you pay For loving the games you play And leaving it all on the field The way the fortress might yield If I could bridge the gap But I never could read the map That led to the heart of her And I could write mountains about what we were But am I just looking to the past For a mast I can use to set sail And does my courage fail When she stares at me down the barrel of the gun Like she’s got a single shot and I am the one The bullet is for And a closed door Hurts more than the blood in my veins Pouring out of me like the rains Upon the ground I know He didn’t get it so I said it slow But nothing caught on And he tells me he is gone But I see his shadow at the door When he thinks the light won’t catch him anymore
It’s impossible to stay angry at you When you flick that gaze at me And I swore that it would be us For eternity But the dials switched and changed The atoms rearranged And it seemed like our history Would stay in the past Like me getting all those A’s in class And they called me names Like all I am is brains And Deirdre, she cut me down Made me wanna run clear outta that town And she would pick away at me Til I had enough and infinity Isn’t far enough to be away from her Even though I mourn what we were And I know her depths go unknown And some of them were shown To me too And there were parts that were true But the lies they perforate And before I know it it’s that date Again And men Seem like my only salvation As I make x and y balance the equation And I thought I had struck gold In the ground or at the end of the rainbow You turned out to be the same as her though It was all shits and giggles But the next thing the girl wriggles And you’re gone And I say so long To all that I thought you were Enjoy the business you have with her I’m sure it’s mighty fine But just don’t try to waste my time Saying you’re my friend When I only ever saw the end Of what you were trying to sell And I wish you both well But I’m not gonna gallop that pony And I could be wrong but you’re full of baloney
We could all be under earth pretty soon Am I the only one who hears the noise in the room When it’s silent as hell And there’s all these people wishing me well But I can’t help but feel that it all pull asunder The rattling windows to the sound of thunder As it all caves in And who would win When the triumph is naught It’s like some disease that we’ve caught That makes us capable to kill And at will The degenerate Comes to pull apart the state Of affairs and of the mind I swore I would leave no one behind
There is crippling instability at my core I try to balance what I adore On the scales But a part of me rails And tries to decide That I no longer want to be alive If it means that I’m not with her Always wondering what we were And she hates me now but I feel her breath Whispering “do not forget” All that we are And she says I am her star No black hole But the measure of her soul And she calls to me Across the sea Of forever in between Am I crazy or is this a dream I just cannot wake from All I love will someday be gone And ripped to shreds This is what I think of when I lay in bed
Half of the town is missing in Bermuda You could search for a reason but it would elude ya Why the history of partition and pain Became as common in Ireland as rain And I fight to hold my rebel spirit Under control so that no one might hear it Because I have the heart of the Gael And my soul is not up for sale And my blood used to boil When I would read history about our sweat and toil Under the rule Of the English that we learned in school Had us under the thumb And they would kill anyone who would not succumb To the heavy weight of oppression And it is my confession That some part of me bears generational hate For all of the acts that left us in that state The people I would love to be kin To if they hadn’t died of the sin Of merely ceasing to exist As the loyal service of a crown that I missed When they educate You to clean your dinner plate Or you will die If you do not want to lie Then stand up and be counted As the people who stood up and shouted Against the lashing of hail And the plantation fail To convert an adequate number Now I see Palestine and their hunger As they have no bread Because they are controlled by land, sea and air instead Of the freshness of home Do we as a tribe leave them alone To face the mountain of world Built on the conquering of the girl In the soul of us all Someone wants to build a brick wall To keep the Mexicans out But I don’t trust a word out of his mouth Because the land is free And it does not belong to me But I to it The Native American’s in the place where I sit At the altar of pride It is not okay that I hide When I have the privilege to say The conquering is not okay When you consider the truth The civilised nations to play the brute And inflict Themselves on a future I would rather quit In the innocent stain I can see it happening again As the world turn But will the world burn If we do nothing to stall The advance of the darkness that answers the call Of the nomad or thief I look to the sky and its blessed relief Just to know That there is a space that will not let go And though they fly through the air And I have been there I can’t set a flag On a cloud so that I can brag That I now own it I used to resent but I have grown it Into simmering wisdom I watch the auspices of power and the Great Schism Split us into a prism of light That we are all one is the message of life And bear no hate for your enemy Coz you walk in his shoes and you discover you’re free To love enough not to be pulled low Enough to wish him to die slow In the mists of time If I could forgive would that be a crime For the sake of pure love And all of the Gaelic in the place where I stood My ground in this sacred place If you don’t know you can read it in my face
There is a black pool at the core of my being When it’s light it’s just a reflection you’re seeing Of the moon in the water And I have been a “good” daughter Always abiding by the rule Getting grades to fly by in school But I have grown up and in And I found myself in him When he set me free from the stricture And it was a mighty picture When he showed me his own shade of blue And I wanted to be one with you As you just were yourself And my mental health Is not up for debate But I’ve learned there’s something beyond the hate You can even hold for yourself There is a wealth In verdant green And it’s the best thing I’ve ever seen
The antecedent knows its own role And I lie in the expanse of my own soul As the bombs go off Or another person coughs As, I, awake in my bed Wonder what they would have said If they’d have known What was going down And I may visit the bay again Just don’t say when Because it is a futile ploy When I see my stars in a boy As he shines from afar He is my favourite star In the darkness of outer space I wonder if all these years have gone to waste Since I told him I love him And I would never hold myself above him But I feel like I was reduced For the receipts I couldn’t produce So I decided to write and write Even if it is sometimes shite Trying to get it on lock I don’t want to be something that I’m not But when I take a pill I swear I never will Be all I claim I am It’s like Kilglass winning Sam Impossible but still a dream Like me and the queen Inside my riverbed heart Blue and red from the start Do I use the pain to make art And the futility to show that the taking part Is the best part of the win I just hope I get to be with him Somehow, someday Anyway Thanks for listening Oh, look my teardrop’s glistening
Does all of humanity live within the sphere Of a death close enough that it’s ever near And we may get a hundred years or so Or we might not, you just never know And I walk within the fear Just so it becomes clear That the immortal in the form Is that which was never born And is out of reach Of the end that they teach Is the conclusion of life on earth And it might hurt To fall but get back up I am holding you, love And there’s nowhere a cloud can’t go It wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t share what I know Coz I was fourteen and I writhe The cumulation of being alive Came crashing down And I felt I would drown In the ocean of it all When suddenly the brick wall Just fell to the floor And I adore What got back up You could call it love The living breathing apparition Of what happens when fission Pulls itself back together And heals the wound The room Faded from view But you Never did And it’s worth a couple quid Just to say That I am okay Come what may In the fray Of the life we know I held on then It let go
He clicked unlock and the case sprang open To hell with all of my hoping As I try to run the dial But I would die just to see you smile And you stutter the flame And I see your name In my email inbox And I try to explain all I am not Are you interested, coz you’re older than me But you’re equally free And almost as cool Which guy were you in school Somewhere in a foreign land With heritage I’m sorry I ghosted Your Facebook page But I couldn’t hang on anymore But I rest my head against the door Coz I can hear your music play In between what you say And I watch the light dance in your eyes You laugh like there’s no disguise That could ever hide this from me I just hope that you see Everything that we are He makes a joke, I see a star
Cause of death, dying What do you expect, trying And I try to reason With him but it’s just a season In the garden he grows It’s all flowers and God knows I try not to be the sky Reflecting blues in his eyes As they stare up at the sun But I think he might be the One As he moves in a sashay And he can have me any way He likes to entertain And his love is not in vain As he holds a paper heart Out and it makes my own start Beating a rhythm I cannot contain Would the sky take back the rain It had cried in tears If it meant it could erase the years That have gone in between The midnight of someone else’s dream In a come what may What is it that the people say That there is a wilderness beyond the hedge And you are more than the pond you dredge To bring up gold And that story’s never told If you’re looking for a quick line In the bathroom for the thousandth time
I was there The day They took you away And this song was playing On the car ride home Do you feel alone? Coz the pavement always reflected the sun And the sky was a burning one As I walked in the gate Was it just fate Coz I can’t think of a reason The season Is winter and so much snow I swore I’d never let you go As my hands tremble against the pillar And daily life is like filler When you’re gone I hold my breath for so long Just to prove I feel what it is to lose Your golden hair I remember you and I were there That Sunday outside the Church And, I dunno, I just love you so much I was gonna ask you to But I lost the nerve that checked on you And I never suspected I never preempted The basin that emptied The moment she said your name It cascaded and the blame Of grief and guilt and pain and loss Try to show me who’s boss But you surface holding my hand As I tell you ‘bout the boy in the band But it’s through tear stained cheeks The valleys and hills as the glacier weeps It’s way through the parish we were born to know I never thought I’d lose that smile though I still feel it’s radiance on me You always let me run free In the playground we silent share At the range as you stood there Somewhere, somehow by my side How dare they say you’re not alive When I feel you ever near Shining like a crystal clear And you know me just a little bit But somehow you still stay with Me throughout the years And I would drink an ocean of uncried tears Just so that it’s real This isn’t just something that I feel I don’t know how to deal But somehow I do Even if it’s not with you And the bitterness And fears and foe Come regardless of what I let go As I fight to find A place I can’t leave my love behind And I think I found it It’s tentative but it’s true And it resounds with the power of you As you sing in the echo of the hall Bouncing off the far wall It only serves to resound the call That makes me write for you The silence is pure but it pours into Every syllable you didn’t say I’d walk to you if there was no other way
I know you have a litany of crimes
I don't need to hear about all the times
You failed to live up to
What you think life has asked of you
I know the unconditional foundation
At the base of you
And I trust so do you
As we meet palm to palm
In this unearthly calm
It doesn't matter what we are
To each other from the star
We spin around
On what we call solid ground
You can be a friend or mate
Or take it to another state
The cord that ties binds us by the soul
And I shouldn't say you make me whole
But, darling, it really feels like that
And you wouldn't take me back
And that's fair enough
But it doesn't end my love
It just puts a reservation
On the end of your appelation
As we find ways to grow and meld
There's a fusion no iron can weld
As we grow out of the old iteration
Meet you at the inner bus station!
The sound of defeat as he chooses another lady And I dunno but I think that she hates me For intruding on their sacred space But he was a drug I loved to taste And the hit was high And it’s so hard to say goodbye Like it’s a final sort of end Or worse maybe we’re still friends And he could call me pal But I’m not a second best sort of gal I’d rather cut my losses and run Find something else that shines the sun And who knows, maybe it’s not a man Maybe there’s no limit to what I can Do It’s just not you And I turn on the radio and it’s a Sony Listening to that guy that’s lonely And maybe I’ll meet him in Blue Note Give him letters that he can quote Like before When he beat a path to my door Only for me to fly And the year the whole world threatened to die In a storming cavalcade Is it a fate we can evade Or is it an absolute rest We get the day before the test
Stuck in ‘08 It was my date with fate As it led me to your door Did you want me more More than I can attest And we’re both fully dressed But I feel your eyes rake over me Like we’re naked with destiny Just us and the come what may And you fill up the gaps in what I cannot say But it’s subterfuge and we’re resting in hiding But there’s something of love that is all abiding Now you’re sharing your soul with someone else With skin so thin you could make a heart melt With the fire that burns off you It seared a part of me too And I can’t change the fact of you I’m not the same and neither are you But we both kinda are Like the atoms forged in a star Or the matter that make time and space Bend the equivalent of the human race To the tune of light refract I never said no but I still want you back Standing outside my window It’s true there were days that I looked at him, though And I cannot deny my feelings were real With the depth of the red that he deal An ace of hearts And mine almost starts To beat double time He was the essence of fine As he’d crack a smile in my direction Like he’s open to cards if I make selection And he lives just across the hall And he kinda caught the ball When I threw it at him Is it a decision I cannot win Coz I love them all The truth in my own freefall
If you’re logged in I hope you see The monument You are to me And I’m looking up You’re looking down And babe we could run this town If it was a two by two I’m getting a home ready for you As I make the tea And we find our way when we can’t see And maybe it is wrong To covet the fold But the path you walk Is solid gold As arms wrap around Did you hear the sound Of our silence dear Isn’t the water pretty clear When it’s still in a pond And, no, I amn’t gone Just waiting in the wings And my heart it sings For you, my love You set the fire, I’ll free the dove
The sound of you Has echoed through these halls And it’s bringing down barriers And cavernous walls Until all is a grand open space With not one instant of my time gone to waste And I hit pause in 2011 All because the sound of Heaven Was just too damn real And you’re not the boy I want to steal Away with into the night But you came close to it, alright And I spill ink on the canvas I draw I’m like the cold witch and my bones start to thaw In the sunlight you bequeath And I guess I’m embarrassed so I stare at my feet But you turn my face upward with your palm You look at me and I am calm I’m the storm that surround You are worth the way it resounds And leaves me feeling like friend is ancient I’m an artist and I try to paint it But it never lives up to what you are A feeble try to condense a star Into matter and fusion But it was just confusion To say I don’t love you so And I just want you to know That you crack the glass with your smile And I dream of you for a little while But it is real as can be I took the biscuit but just dip it in tea
Finding the balance between this and that And I don’t have to hate you just to get you back And I am loved and I’m secure I’m wading in water but the current is pure And it’s nothing but noontime in the sky Poised between to live and to die And I know it’s all rolling, this plunging in And it’s over before it really ever begin It’s just that I’m drawn to take a stance Hold out my hand to you to dance And you don’t have to take it but I sense that you will Like drinking in water til you have your fill The sunset, the morning, the consuming night I know in the end we’ll all be alright
It was just a random Tuesday I walked back to school There was nothing happening All was cool All was fine And that was the last time I was free of the knowledge that You were gone I haven’t thought about it in so long I came in the gate The sun was shining I wasn’t late And I walked round the corner Met Natalie She looked with crying eyes at me Expecting me to know I panicked as I realized truth Was hitting me again in youth Who? Who? And she let the name go I was reeling with the blow And we passed each other by I stared at the sky All I could think was Where’s my school bag I have to get my stuff Why is it so important What I’m not thinking of And we gathered in the Oratory Like a smashed piece of glass And one of the girls hugged me She sat beside me in class And all I could think of Is you love And I try not to feel The sensation I lean on the others For consolation And I caught my maths teachers eye As my sister fell into my arms to cry And he looked away There was nothing to say Coz how do you deal with it Death, the punch One minute you’re fine Just coming back from lunch Next minute the Chaplain Has us all in a bunch And I didn’t cry The tears wouldn’t come And you were just So young, so young And I shut off my feelings For the next fifteen years Coz I haven’t lost you If I don’t cry the tears And hold it all together But the sky is rainfall And loss is the weather And I try to recall So I won’t forget Every memory of you That’s fresh in my mind yet And what would you say To us all I have the faith That you’re not gone at all But watching over us And blessing the ground That we walk You hear every sound And catch every weep I take tablets to help me to sleep As I fall asunder Is it any wonder But something in me just holds you fast You’re in our hearts so you haven’t really passed And I’m finally opening the doors to talk About the confidence in your walk And the way you just breeze on through I hope that you know I still miss you And that I still feel your light on days I find you in quieter ways As you whisper your love in the moment I break I let it go for God’s sake
The Poetry Book 