Tag: salvation

Asking You Jesus

.Reading time 4 minutes.
I disappear into the silence
And it is a form of violence
To let no one know 
That I am letting go 
Of my tenuous connection to reality 
For an inoculation from this insanity 
Everyone clicks like 
Meanwhile there is a spike 
In the suicides in the area and I just want to scream 
It’s the end of somebody’s dream 
And maybe all they needed was a hand to hold 
Or someone to have told 
Them that they’re worth it 
I wish they didn’t have to hurt, it 
Is so unfair 
Because I’ve been there 
It was in the mists, long ago 
But I know
I know 
And there’s just this pause
When you realise that all is lost 
And all the compassion in the world 
Couldn’t save the girl 
From her fate
I ate what was on my dinner plate
And they drove me away 
Storm after storm until I couldn’t say 
What was winter and what was just plain cold 
Life’s a bitch when you’re made of gold
And everyone craves your Midas touch 
I told the boy I love him so much 
But he just tells me to fuck off 
A few years before a common cough 
Could spark panic in the collective zone
I think I wrecked it on the phone 
When I tried to pour my heart’s blood
Onto a floor that was too good
To ever be a non stick pan 
I just wanted him to know what I am 
Meanwhile I’m sitting in the ward with Sarah 
And I care, ah 
Now she is shaking 
And all staff are just baking 
Their cakes in the oven 
So I stand up to their anti loving 
And go over and sit with her 
Put my arm around what we never were 
And tell her it’s okay
She tells me to go away 
But I stay 
And I feel it fall into the abyss 
And the dart shoots but it miss 
Her beautiful self 
I died so you could have someone else 
By your side when the times get rough 
Isn’t Jesus all about love
And psychosis may be a diagnosis 
But I ghosted that doctor who was too precocious 
For his own wealth 
And he can’t categorise my mental health 
In a trail of ink 
And the man threw the sink 
Out of its cage 
And I rage 
As we’re baking bread 
I would stay just to free you from your head
And you write in your diary 
But its a new earth and I’m firey 
But I won’t burn down 
Not while there’s still people in this town 
Got to get them out 
So I let God have my mouth 
To utter the Word 
I let it be and let it be heard

Ripped From His Mother’s Arms

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I watch the Palestinian children die
And why do I get to cry
When their eyes are dry 
And a parent weeps over the corpse 
While soldiers laugh with no remorse 
And the commanders drop another bomb
Where has our humanity gone 
Do we not see ourselves in the other 
See our sister and brother 
In every battered storm front of war 
And I just look at her
And see the death that I know
The pain life has visited upon me slow
That must be experienced by the masses
Or as they’re designated - the lower classes
While I sit and sup my tea
Knowing full well that it could be me 
If I lived a hundred and eighty years ago 
When the British starved us slow 
To death 
And there is a memory that does not forget
It’s held like generational pain 
And I resonate with the acid rain 
That falls from white phosphorus plumes
Into lungs and living rooms
And burns into skin and sears 
People with images of those they hold dear 
Suffering and crucified
In every single one who’s died
Is the hidden heat 
Of the love that makes my heart beat 
And no claims of anti-semetic
Can make me subscribe to the rhetoric 
That justify the claims of war
When the dust settles what will all this be for 
And will we survive another spin of the wheel 
That makes us deny what we feel 
So we are capable of 
The worst of what I’ve listed above 

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Standing In The Heat

.Reading time 2 minutes.

***Trigger Warning – Mental Health***

I’m standing in the heat
And I feel the power of us meet
As we are seventeen and eighteen 
I learned that every dream 
I ever had
Could be tied to feeling bad
Because it all gets taken away from me 
One way or another by time or indignity 
And you were sent like a saint
Now it’s my blood you use to paint
Your facebook page 
And I feel a certain scent of rage
Colour my cheeks 
That you think I’m weak 
And need the help of my family
When I’ve always rebelled at what they wanted from me 
Now I’m held like a noose 
As though I’m the golden goose
That must be prized in case she is set loose
By her own hand 
But I wouldn’t worry, I am grand
And have no intention to jump from a cliff
It’s all held in a what if 
And the march of time 
Can steal everything but what’s mine 
God plucked me from the sea
When dying was all that was left of me 
And I fought my way to the shore
Gasping and what’s more 
I was tired and wrecked 
And something woke while I slept 
And in the bathroom I couldn’t bear
To look in a mirror that would tear
Who I was to pieces
Coz everything that’s born deceases
And my grandmother just left this earth
And I can’t seem to bear the hurt
I was fourteen 
And my scream 
Was silent and unheard
Except by that holy bird
Who alight on my shoulder
And somehow roll away the boulder
In the mouth of the tomb
I find my Jesus and resume 
My prostrations at the feet of my Lord
It’s not over till you hear the spoken Word
Made flesh 
And every regret 
Falls to the floor 
As I worship what I was born to adore 

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The Tears That Flow

.Reading time 2 minutes.
The tears that flow
It’s been nearly twenty years since you let go
And people tell me to move on
But how do I ignore the space where you’re gone
A beacon of love and trust
And I know they just aren’t fussed
Coz to lose a grandmother is par for the course
Something common, like weddings and divorce
But no one told me what it would be like to have you ripped
From the fortress I had equipped 
With everything I had
So nothing bad 
Could happen 
And you were just napping
In the kitchen when Rocky lay down by the settee 
And I had had fourteen years when you showered love on me 
And I know I am closer to the grave
Than the point that could save 
You from the monsters that eat your soul 
But somehow I know that Jesus made you whole 
And the cancer spreads
I’m crying in bed
But there’s nothing I can do 
I can’t heal you
At least not yet 
But there’s something I will never forget
Like when you told me good things come to those who wait
And I trudge through the hate
Coz I know your advice is true
And there was wisdom that had its home in you
And you made rhubarb tart for us all
I take a place by the wall
But you wink at me 
And save the biggest piece and for free
You offer me the whole damn world
I’ll always be your girl 

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Like A Drowning Man Needs Air

.Reading time 3 minutes.

***Trigger Warning – Mental Health***



The boat rocked when the wave shook me to my core
And I kindly showed her to the door 
When she took out the dagger and it caught the light
And I could see in the night
That she never wished me well
And it rained holy hell
On my town 
I contemplated what it would be like to drown 
In a nearby lake 
Would she come to my wake 
Like the whole community does when someone dies
Then someone’s loved one cries
And I couldn’t do that to them 
But I wouldn’t like to be back there again 
Because it was as pitch as the blackest dark 
And it left a mark 
The scar is what I cherish now 
Because the truth got to me somehow
And I don’t understand the Lord but he saved my life
And he doesn’t want me to just be a wife
And surrender and go down 
Like everyone does everywhere around
It’s like you hit thirty
And everything you thought was dirty
Suddenly looks so damn appealing 
And there were comics that I was stealing 
The day I followed a trail 
And I swore my soul was not for sale 
But I danced on the edge of a cliff
Balancing on a what if 
And it mattered to me less than naught
But what if I get caught
So I commit myself to an institution 
Maybe they can straighten out my convolution
And I’ve always had a strong constitution 
But it doesn’t hold up under this pressure
There’s nothing like a doctor to stress ya
Especially when they’ve got all the power
But I am not one to cower
So I just run to the sea
But they’re still watching me 
As I find a corner of the room 
That doesn’t sink with the sound of doom 
That echoed around that place
And I couldn’t show my face
To anyone at all 
I just remember the length of the hall
When you’re walking it alone
And they’ve taken my phone 
So I follow Sinéad and pace the route 
But they jot down that I follow suit 
And it’s all just a case study to them
And they assure me it will happen again 
If I forsake the pills
And the bending of my wills
But I’m about done with this
I’m still thinking about Jack’s kiss

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Life Is A Tremulous Thing

.Reading time 3 minutes.
Life is a tremulous thing 
And a bird with only one wing 
Flies in a circle if she flies at all
I just remember running into the hall
And screaming bloody blue murder 
As I woke up from a sleep 
I had been held in the bed
By a weight I could not keep
And they all held like snooker balls
Atoms of air until they all fall
And weigh on me like turf
But I am released and I surf
The wave out of the room 
Imagine arms catching me with the sound of doom 
And my parents come to me in a flash
And I’m crying, trembling and I can’t put the genie back
In the bottle now that he’s been set free
Every time the phone rings my heart beats against the tree
I use to hold myself together 
Because the weather
Was unpredictable and strange
And no matter how stable it would always change 
As I lose a grandmother to the going away
And I must not cry because she could not stay 
But my ears are pulsing with the noise 
And the din rattles bones like they are play toys
As I always expect the next mute surrender
I gave in to always remember
The torture of losing love to the emptiness
Now the darkness starts to dress
Me in its own clothes and cloak 
Everything around me in the bespoke 
Am I just reading the dial 
When people look at me I fake a smile
So they don’t look to hard
And see the facade behind the business card
I hand out to everyone who wants to get in touch
And you’d never know I love you so much 
When I just stare into your soul 
Every wave is beautiful but they all roll
Into the one 
And every man is somebody’s son 
And deserves respect and compassion
Even when he sings about an assassin 
That lives in his heart
She aimed true though and took the part
He had been protecting out of the dark 
And I bet he was the better mark
In the end
I’d like to think she knows I’m a friend 
But all bullets find their way home
I guess that’s why she’s complete and I am alone 
With my own front facing tremor 
I don’t think I’d want to be on the good ship Endeavour 
Even if I was to stake a claim
And somehow make a name
For myself in the western based media 
But its not all what they feed to ya
As babies cry for mother they’ll never see 
I just don’t want that to ever be me

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The Feast That Keeps Alive

.Reading time 2 minutes.
There is a feast that keeps alive
And there were times I didn’t want to survive 
The aching pull of forever
As it dragged me to another endeavour
Far across the sea
And New York just wasn’t me 
When I found myself on its streets 
But there is no one that it meets
On a level playing field 
So I follow the wind and I yield 
On Flatbush avenue 
I’d never felt so black and blue
Walking towards the Brooklyn Bridge
Like it was Hacksaw Ridge 
And the forest had enclosed 
Me and the path I chose
It was dark and serene 
And something screamed to wake the dream 
Into the boundlessness of true life
I will never be a wife
Over the love of you 
But I will be your One if you want me to
He just sighs and looks away
And there is nothing left to say
On the phone to keep him there
And I hear him swear 
Silently under his breath
His monotone sings of resentment and regret 
And it blisters my skin like a poison chalice 
It’s almost like I can sense the malice 
That brews underneath
And someone calls me the Messiah on the street 
And I wonder if I emanate that charm 
Or if I should ring the alarm 
That keeps me safe from harm
They call it medication 
I call it the train station 
That docks opposite ports
And there is a divorce 
Somewhere in our history 
But it doesn’t envelop the mystery
That you always are
I look up and you’re my North Star

Wrecking Ball

.Reading time 1 minute.
There was a demon I saw in her 
It let go and destroyed what we were 
And it’s belligerence knocked buildings and homes
Til I was in a room crying all alone 
And trying to find even keel 
Because of all this weight that I feel
And I try to tell souls but they don’t care
Or they don’t understand because they weren’t there
When it all went down 
As she screams into her cup
And I have had enough
Of that rejection
So I depart from natural selection
And find my own ground
It is a peaceful sound 
In my room all alone
And I lock the darkness out of my phone 
Because I gravitate 
Towards the light that equivocate
The messes I have made
And if you’re a tree do you love shade
Just because that’s what you cast
I didn’t think this thing would last
So very long 
And I know I look strong
But the wind knows the weakness in my knees
The foibles in what I believe 
To be true
Why do I still trust you?

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The Great Revelation

.Reading time 2 minutes.
The Great Revelation is that it’s smoke and mirrors 
And the buttons she presses throw me in the horrors
As she speak about how she see
And it is so different from me 
As I paint a landscape 
She wants to escape 
Into the green 
But she’s always been 
Lost in the grey 
And when I say 
Maybe it’s not okay 
She’d hit me with the butt of her rifle 
And say it’s not time to stifle 
The truth of the matter
And then she would batter 
Me with her facts
And you can’t take it back 
Any more than the sky
Can take back the tear it cries from it’s eye
In a season or two 
The duplicity came from you 
Into the serene 
And life is better when you wake the dream 
Up from where it stands 
And there are lands 
That lie untraversed
And no one would expect your manners to be rehearsed
But they are
And every star
That burns 
Is light years away
And though light is born it cannot stay
And must collapse into a black hole
I wonder if that’s what happens to the soul 
When it meets it’s end 
And the colourless light is the only friend
I have these days
There are so many ways
To splinter the prose 
And take less travelled roads
I never thought that I’d be 
Twenty years on still wondering about destiny
Amid the runes 
And the sand dunes 
As it filters through air
I know the feel of it because I was there

The Wars From Afar

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I was a teen when the war in Iraq broke out
And there was nothing I could do to stem the doubt
That no one should be invading a land
That they simply do not understand
And dictators come in many shapes and sizes
Some of them would be surprises
Because what’s viewed as a just war
Only depends on what you’re looking for 
And the bullets will be forever silent
If we abdicate the violent
And you could say I’m a pacifist
And we simply should not exist 
Because we put stability in danger
When we say that the manger
Should not starve a baby boy
And a gun is not a toy
And I’ve never been burdened by strife
I just rebel when he wants a wife
To make a house and home
But I love being on my own
Free to admire
Now I’m watching buildings on fire
And children screaming for their parents 
Wondering where the hell they went 
Not knowing, and maybe by grace
They get to see their faces
Again
And you can blame men
But it is the ego
It shoots what it doesn’t see though
And I am no liberator 
The queen of whatever and see you later 
But I can’t be superfluous about this 
It is not stuck in a kiss
It is in a scene that I could change 
If I just rearrange 
The way I see things play
Because it will never be okay
To raid a village and plunder and thieve
And feed the enemy things they might believe 
So that you can further your agenda
And you have some friends that will defend ya
But the foundations are rocky and unstable 
And what was born isn’t able
To reign in the suspense
Compassion’s in the present tense
And it is the only way
To redeem the wolves that bay
To the moon we all see
Let’s let the past be history

Shout To The Lord

.Reading time 1 minute.
They could put me up on a cross
And all would not be lost
They could drive me down the alley
And I would still walk in the valley
Of the shadow of death
And I would not fear yet
For the Lord would be by my side
And I would abide 
As I always am
Moving in space without a plan 
And the heat of the fire is a furnace blast
But something’s healed within the cast
The broken bone 
And the heart of solid stone
Cracks at the sound of the light
I love my Jesus, alright
And would follow that soul, that man, that being
In the waves of ocean that he’s freeing
And all the sheep
Are like people that we keep
Safe from harm
I panicked and he stayed calm
As the water raged
I took a leaf out of his page
When he held out his hand
And said you will be grand
If only you trust
I shake and quake but I must
Go palm to palm
At first the audience and then the psalm
To leave my spirit ringing
Tell me what else should I be singing

Jesus Is Lord

.Reading time 1 minute.
The burning pain encases my soul
And like the waves I roll and roll
Until I crash to the floor
And all I used to adore
In verdant green
Is part of what it means 
To walk in this skin
And part of me’s in love with him
As we age and pale
Giving up what’s not for sale 
To the highest bidder
It’s first come, first served and the weather
Is just one more seasonal spin
Do I let him in
Coz he’s knocking down my door
Hammering ever more and more 
As the years pass 
And I was outclassed
In the long grass
And today I went to Mass
And felt that age old relief
As I stepped back into belief 
As I stare at a man on a cross
Thinking all is not lost
Coz my Saviour died for me 
But He lived and that sets me free
That Truth exists 
And quells the sound in the mists 
That grapple and let me go
This cloud looks like it’s full of snow
Or thundered might
But Jesus loves me and I’m alright

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The Jesus In My Soul

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
The Jesus in my soul
Is a story I haven’t told
Coz He is always there
A place of true care
And I fell in love with men
Hoping I would see Him again
In moments silent and true
I saw reflections in the eyes of you
And you stand tall and look like a hero
And I’m on my way to absolute zero
And I dig the earth
Disregard the waves of hurt
In ages pulling hence
The present moment’s never in the past tense
And He is a forest of trees
All you have to do is believe
And trust when you’re letting go 
That he will catch you, you know


Photo Credit: Yongsung Kim https://pin.it/2z5FILz

Like You Do

.Reading time 1 minute.
Photo by Burak The Weekender on Pexels.com
I envisioned the whole scene
It was like a fuckin dream 
Where I had the central role
And what's up for grabs is my soul 
As I ride the subway train
Or walk Kilglass in the rain
Somehow it's all the same 
I flash my metro card
And some guy helped me coz it was hard
To figure out as I traipse down the stairs
Wondering if anyone cares
And I know she does but she's got laws
It's winter and the summertime thaws
Out the vestibules of old sand
Pearls out of what was underhand
And I divide the spoils I've earned
But all my profit only burned
What was left of me
The remnants an effigy 
Of a spiral diagram I sketched
But the problem hit and I retched
And sought salvation in a clinic
It looks fine from the outside but once you're in it
You come to know that there are rules
That I can't ace like I did in school
So I sit in the music room
Abject to the sound of doom
Or wander down the hall
As the world explodes from it all
How do you say kunalini, one, two, three
But they don't listen to me

The Unearthly Calm

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Photo by Ben Mack on Pexels.com
I see the faraway shore
Beckoning me to something more
And I understand 
That nothing good can be planned
As we grow up 
Like a tree
It's not up and over
But organically
And there's enough food
To feed each child
Enough land 
To let the animals roam wild
And did we build this monstrosity
That is growling in my face
I have to speak up 
For the human race
Coz we're going down
And if we don't shift
The present moment 
Won't be a gift
But an encumbrance
That we bear
I feel the fabric
Start to tear
As the seam
Is pulled to the edge
Don't let the money
Go to your head
As you earn and as we burn
The stifling and the axis turn
That leads us down a narrow path
Makes me wonder what we might be at
To poach the seas til they run dry
To pour the concrete til the soil die
And I've got this hefty weight to carry
Will I bear children and marry
But all I hear are the cries of the damned
And all the innocents no one understands
So if I've a prayer
It's help me, God
Live with Love 
And not the rod
That snaps down on a soft palm
They say that there's an unearthly calm
Before the tidal wave
So take the noise as a sign to save
While we still have time
What is your path
Coz I know mine

Salvation

.Reading time 1 minute.

moonlight_photography_tips_professional_photographer_can70-appren-swede_kiruna05

I am yours and you are mine
And we are branded with the scars of each other’s troubled times
But whatever the distance that separates our souls
We are born of eternity and we will not grow old
Just entwine ever further into the depths of a reverie
If there’s one thing that I’m sure of it’s that you were made for me
As we fit together like pieces that were bound from the start
There may be two bodies but there is just one heart
So don’t try and justify what may be keeping us apart
The earth is a life form and to love you is an art
As it dawns on me slowly that there is just us two
We return to oneness and I to loving you
From the ventures that I craved so far from my core
And we are not romantic, no, we are something more
To bridge a divide like a chasm calling deep
You are the promise that I was born to keep
And you just cannot switch off when it is true love
The white light of salvation is celestially above

Photo Credit: http://www.digitalcameraworld.com/2013/05/03/moonlight-photography-tips-making-magical-midnight-landscapes/3/