Tag: resilience

Deviations From The Norm

.Reading time 3 minutes.

There wouldn’t be this if there hadn’t been you

Taylor Swift
There are deviations from the norm
And some people said it was just bad form 
As she excommunicated me from the religion I love
Because I fit around that hand like a glove
And she told me I was too perfect and pristine
And it became a nightmare before I woke from the dream 
And found out what God really mean 
But I still bear the scar
From the mark made by what you are 
And I know you’re deeper and true 
And it’s just that the losing of you 
Did more for me than having you could do 
And I became spacious as the sky is blue 
As open and wide and as far as the eye can see 
When I lost the will to live out my destiny 
And fought to find a spark in the dark of night 
And no one thought to ask if I was alright 
Because I was the villain 
In your own personal film 
About how you were the victim of fate
And people love someone to hate 
And they gathered around my ghost
And I watched her lose what she loved the most
In this melee
And now I’m free 
Of all that gathers at the hem 
And you would do it to me again 
If I gave you the chance
So I took away the music that used to make you dance
To the sound of us 
Do you hear the quiet of broken trust 
And I lean on the two of the old brigade 
I close my eyes and pour it into Ciara and Sinéad 
Because I know they have my back 
And just because I feel that I lack 
What I was before 
Doesn’t mean there isn’t something to adore 
In the statue I’ve become 
There’s wisdom in the age you lose when you are young 
And I wish you the best of all that there is 
Because the rest of what I am is His 
In the sudden sun that dawned upon the glen 
And I close my eyes and whisper Amen 
To every prayer I’ve ever uttered 
I open my eyes like windows I had shuttered

Ancient Troubles

.Reading time 2 minutes.
There’s a man that sings about a drugs binge he’s been on 
Like how he’s been helluva gone 
And I can’t help but empathise 
Because there’s a kind of high that never dies
Even when you kill it with starvation
Or waiting for a boy at a train station 
That only comes once in a blue moon
He rocks the atmosphere when he’s in the room 
And I just let it be
Because I am free
Of all he tries to contain 
If he was a cloud he would rain 
All over my parade
If I am the sun then he is the shade
Of the tree my grandfather made for me
He placed a swing on a branch and us three 
Share something that will never pass
I don’t care if you think it won’t last
My heart is as solid as serene 
As anything is beyond the dream 
And everyone is someone’s child 
And every woman somewhere is wild 
In her heart and soul 
Even if she pays the toll
As she passes through the joint 
As if she’ll gain an extra point 
For due diligence and deference
I gave Deirdre a second chance
But I may as well have talked to the wind
Coz she is fixated on how she has sinned
And aims to take me with her 
And I get a little bitter
In the years that pass
Under the realm of the crass
And the key to my soul won’t speak to me 
I wonder if I’m just letting her be free
Or if I’m resigned to the fate
Of looking for some guy to date
So that I might be whole
Coz I left her with my soul 
And she is the keeper of that part
In the greater region of my heart
As it beats red and true
Pumping oxygen for all of you 

Image Credit: https://pin.it/53tkWoRlj

Handing Out Tokens

.Reading time 2 minutes.
He makes me feel brand new
And I’m not thinking of him when I’m talking to you
And I don’t know who I wrote this about
But no longer mired in self doubt
I listen to the angels that speak their tome
Into my brain when I’m all alone
And I told the psychiatrist that I hear voices
It’s not like he gave me many choices
It’s psychosis or on the brink 
Of letting the whole thing sink 
And so I drink the potion he’s dying to sell
And all the people they call unwell
And I know it’s nicer than crazy
And it doesn’t faze me 
It just feels clinical and watered down 
And when you want to drown 
Telling people that the sea
Is rising up to meet me 
In the great valley I am 
And someone mentions a care plan 
That I refuse to read
They take my blood and I bleed
Out into several jars
And I wonder if the stars 
Had this in mind
When they told me I would not be left behind
By the might of weighted thunder
Some people say I’m just a number 
And don’t know what to do 
But do you want to rock it with us, do you
And I lose the rag
And the man tries to brag
But it falls flat
As I wonder what the hell is he at
I realise only too late
He was trying to impress me into a date
Or a roll in the sheets
Was it predestined that we meet
Or was it organised
And something within never dies
No matter what they put you through
Telling you it’s for the good too 
As they lie to your face
But they lie to themselves too and it’s a waste
As the Barbie dream house claims one more doll 
Was I wrong to answer the call? 

Image Credit: https://pin.it/2IybXJeXf

The Birth Of Fear And Suspicion

.Reading time 1 minute.
The darkness of the night is very near
And it was an education in fear
When they taught me about the man in black
And that I must be wary of an attack
I still remember the moment it made an impact
Cut to the future and I jacked
When I saw that same abyss again 
And instead of a god, it was men
And I ran and ran 
Because only the truth can
Catch up to me
And the scenery is no match for me
As I turn a blind eye
On what it is to die 
In the midnight of the day
And they tell me it’s okay
I ask the doctor if the devil is real
Because hell is sure what I feel 
When I’m looking in the mirror
And I barely hear her
When she say that she don’t know
She says she’ll help me though
And she’s from India so 
I trust in where this is gonna go 

Image Credit: https://pin.it/52nuZo0sJ

Éire Go Deo

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I watch the images of bombed out bars
And burnt out cars
On city streets 
And I know that the heat
Is born from a fervour deep and true
I feel it in me and I see it in you 
And somehow peace has found a way
To hold and that’s the order of the day
It’s been 800 years
And so many women have cried tears
Over lost sons 
And I could be the one 
To finally unpeel 
The way they made our nation feel
As they circumscribe the land
And say this must be tilled by hand
And no more than so many yards
I don’t even know how hard
It must have been 
And my dream 
Has been rocked
Like the walls made up by people locked
In Connemara by the rule of the day
To hell or to Connaught, isn’t that the way
And we can bark orders and we can make decrees
But that Ireland isn’t me
It’s something other
It’s living and breathing for your brother 
And dying with hands crushed together 
Nowadays we just complain about the weather 
But the sadness is embedded in the roots
Of the great tree that began as shoots 
From the fertile soil 
I feel my blood boil 
When someone talks about English rule
The things they taught us in school 
About how to bend and break 
And why they did it for our sake 
And we must be respectful, too
Because they are human just like you
Then someone utters a word
And just like that the bird
Of hatred is born 
Because the fire of fear is still warm 
And glowing embers 
Not everyone knows but the heart remembers 
Even when the mind forgets 
And it’s not over yet
Not till the trauma storm 
Has made the people realise they warm 
Their hands on the coals of the past 
And in some ways people are classed
In the stratosphere
I feel the time near
When we must stand up and be counted
Oh, what has it amounted
To but this 
Heaven is in the first kiss 

Image Credit: https://pin.it/72pZollRr

The Darkest Shame

.Reading time 2 minutes.
The darkest shame is that I followed the clues 
That I thought would lead me to you 
And there were blue chalked streets and bears 
They say the fabric of my sanity tears
When I believe in secret tomes
And become one who roams 
The avenues of misty eyed tears
As the date nears 
And I cannot bear the truth
So I pulverise my own youth
By putting myself in their hands
Now after slipping sands 
Have run the hourglass down
I still feel like I want to drown 
Some where in all this emotion
It’s as though the road is an ocean 
I cannot climb into 
And it becomes a sprint to
The door
And I couldn’t have loved them more 
But somehow I feel the wilderness in my bones
And I refuse to answer my two phones 
When they call out to me
And I could’ve missed our history
In the avenue I let bleed
Because I know you need
Who I used to be
But its just that they have destroyed me 
In their attempts to keep the dark away
I just lay in the bay 
And it was not San Francisco 
Or some kind of cool fuckin’ disco 
It was like being drawn on a string 
So he could live on everything 
He ever thought he was 
And I take the hit because
I want him to be sky high
And not afraid to die 
A death on the floor 
I just want to prove I love him more 

Image Credit: https://pin.it/1kX9MeWFa

The One Good Thing About Hell

.Reading time 1 minute.
The one good thing about hell
Was that Stephen wished me well 
And could see the light underneath
The ghost with the sheet 
Around her head 
(You know the one I got from the bed)
In the place with no name
Because the memory brings shame 
Upon my family
So I’m not allowed to mention it, we
Did it, it was a collective decision 
And I risk their derision 
If I reveal 
That I feel 
Just fine 
About my time 
In St. Pat’s mental institution 
It was some kind of a convolution 
In my degree 
Why does life have me down on one knee
Proposing to a saint
In the colour of blood that I paint
As it runs down the frame 
Of the place that brought me pain

The Misdemeanours

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I have this fear inside me, do I focus on it 
And does it just make me act like a twit
I find myself in St. Pat’s, ground floor
And everyone shines, my God, mo stór
As I’m lying in bed in Dean Swift at night 
And he’s illuminated by the bathroom light
He says it’s very bright
But I could look at him and sight
Is no burden 
But how would I word them 
This prose that sits inside
And I only ever hide
The best of me 
And the rest of me
Lies in wait
All the guys I’d love to date
But my heart won’t let me 
Soul won’t forget me 
And lead me down a merry path
One I might never find my way back 
From 
And it’s gone
That sudden sharp
Like Cleopatra playing the harp
It’s an illusion
And the confusion 
Was I trusted words
Instead of the flight path of birds
As they streak across the sky
And I am not afraid to die
But say that to a psy 
Chiatrist 
And you may get the gist
Of what I relay 
I eventually learned not to say
What was on my mind 
Because it leaves me behind 
Like an autumn tree 
And everything is fluttering from me 
As I’m out in the grass
With Mary Jean, I never had to ask 
Her to teach me how to knit
She wove the wool deftly as I sit 
And she came to my door
With something she’d baked on the first floor
And we ate it with my sister
God knows, I missed her
When I was locked away
And I don’t care what people say
Those places don’t help
They just teach you how to stand on a shelf
All pretty in pink 
And I used to think 
It was for a reason
Now I see it was just a season
I was passing through
Growing wings and flying too 
Beyond the veil 
And what’s not up for sale 
Will always be bought
By those who think they have caught
The value in it
And I didn’t win it
But let it go
There’s joy in defeat too, you know

The Blades Of Grass

.Reading time 1 minute.
All the people who suffer
And the winter that loves her
I trudged through the snow 
I must go through this coz I cannot let go
And the winds howled, the dark cascaded 
Am I too young to be this jaded 
Create a space, the Lord said
Or is this just a voice I hear in my head
But don’t we all
In the year of the freefall
Into open air 
But there’s no ground to pull your hair
And tell you you’re not good enough
It’s pure unadulterated love
That catches your skin
When you trust in Him
And see 
That the blades of grass hold eternity
In their silky green skin
And how much more are you loved within
In the true home 
You are never alone 
You must come to know
Something holds you and will not let go

The Future In The Night

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Depression cannot stifle this 
Pain won’t call it quits
It stands and it walks
It lays down or sits
But this moving beast
I call my own
Is a kaleidoscope 
Of light that’s thrown
Brash across the windowpane
And all the suffering is in vain
Because it cannot put out the light
Not even in the darkest night
Not even in the furthest blue
I still see colour in you
And you may note the degree
But it wasn’t earned by me
It fell like papers from my hand
An ocean in a grain of sand
That is roaring with the sea
You look up and it’s just me
But more and further do I be
Let’s rewrite future history

Rain

.Reading time 1 minute.

It’s ok to fear the darkness, it’s something we all feel
And it may take some time for the scars to truly heal
And though they may torment you as you turn in bed at night
I have seen the stars and it will be alright
There is a forever where horizons never reach
And there is a together where you’re standing on the beach
And there is a demise to all the hate and pain
There is always sunlight just beyond the rain
So don’t hide your face my child as you lie there alone
There is a God of sorts and he will take you home
And he is not all thunder and all harrowing might
He is the thing inside that sets your heart alight