Tag: resentment

The Control

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
The control is like a vicegrips, it sneaks round my neck
And I wonder which part of me she will wreck
With the next seize
I let go and I believe 
That everything is okay
Innocently go about my day
And then it comes 
Like a wave of a hundred drums
Banging their beat
Like people with the floor and feet
And she snatches up what she can grasp 
But this thing can never last
Coz it just burns the fuse
When I am something she would use
To ameliorate herself
And gain some kind of wealth
In someone else’s eyes
But it’s a disguise
And the lies
Are so obvious now
But when I believed them, not somehow

Image Credit: https://pin.it/4fwyypwW2

The Veins Of Truth

.Reading time 3 minutes.
The veins of truth pour the blood through me
It’s back to my heart and it sets me free
And my skin may be purple, blue
But it’s not because of you 
I just wanted you to know
That it was long before we met I wanted to let go
And it was in response to 
A girl, I change the font to blue
To represent those days 
Because she cut in me in so many ways
By lines, by degrees 
Then with a sword when I was on my knees
And my grandmother had just passed
And I’m sitting in class
When she has just let me know 
That she can’t “relate” to the snow
That’s falling from my sky
And suddenly I want to die 
And the breaths I draw in are sucked not in the flow
And nobody seems to know 
It’s like steel in my blood to enter the school
And I used to keep every single rule
But it never did a thing to keep me from the deep end of the pool
And I’m just standing saying a prayer
Because we’re Catholic and the teacher is there
Til, suddenly, dizzy, I lose consciousness
And the person I used to address
As myself
Has been lost in the wealth 
Of light pouring from the sky
And though no one says hi
To me anymore
I don’t care coz the open door
Has just let me in 
And I didn’t need to win
The war she fought with tooth and nail 
The success was in the fail 
And I just let her go
To torment someone else slow 
I wonder will she change 
But I will always be the kind of strange
That sees the city in each pair of eyes
And I hope she never cries
But her docking port will not be here
She can call on the God that is ever near 
And see if he can rescue 
Her soul from what threatens you
I know I’m by the shore 
Waiting for the man I adore 
To finally swim to land
He does and I take his hand
Like it is precious ore
I am not who I was before 
But I can be all that I am 
If that’s okay with you, man

Young And Foolish

.Reading time 2 minutes.
It’s as though as I’ve been infantilised 
So that I can become human in their eyes
And it’s not like me at all
It doesn’t fit the brick wall
That was erected 
In the space her love deflected
Like it was a poison drink 
And I feel myself begin to sink 
In the grand abyss
And my old self is something that I miss
When young and seventeen 
I could manage the dream 
Just fine
Til calamity became mine
As his darkness spread a sea
Over the blanket that had become of me
Like clouds keeping the earth warm 
Eventually the break into a storm 
That fosters the people in their solemn grin 
And they say that sex is sin 
But they all do it anyway 
So I push that characterisation away
Because if we go by generations past
The pain will everlast 
Into the future
And no suture 
Can heal the gauzy wound 
I watched the winds of doom 
Close in around that sea 
And they call it sacred warfare and indignity 
Seems to be the order of the day 
But I do not look away 
From the images that perforate 
The screen that masks the dark of hate 
That propels people into motion 
And suddenly I am floating 
Above it all 
And the call 
Pummels my door
So I answer it, and what’s more
I let it take me somewhere new
I’m giving it up for them and I’m giving it up for you

Image Credit: https://pin.it/6mdBqCtNG