Tag: psychosis

The Armour Reflects The Light

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Against my better judgement I take these pills
I’m losing my mind like I’m losing skills
And I’m scared that they will wear my brain away
Like I am a knot and it’s started to fray
But it’s gotta be better than wandering the night
They say that I’m insane and I give up, alright
Allow them to ring in a decree
And proclaim what they think they know of me
And everyone agrees, they’ve got it all on check
And what I was seeing was strange and I wreck
The picture every time I seem to see
People trying to frame you and me
And Alan was cool like they had on the system
I walked away, you could say that I missed him
And everyone in their cracked portrait there
We’re just examples of how people care
And they say that if you go and show
You’re enlightened well then you know
You’ll be locked up by the brigade at sea
And I think that may have been what happened to me
And I fight and war with what they pronounce
Only another one to denounce
Like sleeves of silk and cotton up your arm
The meditation room the only charm
As there was music and CD’s
To ameliorate my supposed disease
And I made friends and I struck a light
In the room for squares I was held that night
And the awning gap just spells the chasm
What more can I say but that she has him
For now, for forever, but not with me
I gulp another one down with dignity

A War Of Wills

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Me and Power had a war of wills 
And he flexed his skills 
In my direction 
But my selection 
Is to reside where I’ve always been 
And sit in the seat of a goddess or queen 
Somewhere in the avenue of soul 
I wander the grounds and I just roll
With the wave they want to crash
I’ve had better nights on the lash 
As he forces a pill into my hand 
Like he could inopportune the ocean with sand 
And he draws waifs on the beach
And comes to teach 
Me about the dragons that breathe fire
On the weak and never tire 
To seek out souls to ravage and dement 
He doesn’t realise I never went 
Away but to come again 
And I am not afraid of men 
Or of beasts that gnaw
What’s trembling me is the great thaw
As it steals aspects of my glacier 
I am the North Pole and I need ya 
To stem the flow of climate change
But I feel the days get strange 
As I see the ferocious that eats her 
And I know it wants to delete her
And she senses it too 
She’s not mad, she’s just looking into
The abyss and it’s looking back 
I look at the jenga I stack
And I know this house is gonna fall
And I’m not up for playing hard ball
With someone who thinks he knows
Why the woman is on the road 
I just flash him a glance
I think he knows there’s no second chance 

Image Credit: https://pin.it/3IF8np5di

The Darkest Shame

.Reading time 2 minutes.
The darkest shame is that I followed the clues 
That I thought would lead me to you 
And there were blue chalked streets and bears 
They say the fabric of my sanity tears
When I believe in secret tomes
And become one who roams 
The avenues of misty eyed tears
As the date nears 
And I cannot bear the truth
So I pulverise my own youth
By putting myself in their hands
Now after slipping sands 
Have run the hourglass down
I still feel like I want to drown 
Some where in all this emotion
It’s as though the road is an ocean 
I cannot climb into 
And it becomes a sprint to
The door
And I couldn’t have loved them more 
But somehow I feel the wilderness in my bones
And I refuse to answer my two phones 
When they call out to me
And I could’ve missed our history
In the avenue I let bleed
Because I know you need
Who I used to be
But its just that they have destroyed me 
In their attempts to keep the dark away
I just lay in the bay 
And it was not San Francisco 
Or some kind of cool fuckin’ disco 
It was like being drawn on a string 
So he could live on everything 
He ever thought he was 
And I take the hit because
I want him to be sky high
And not afraid to die 
A death on the floor 
I just want to prove I love him more 

Image Credit: https://pin.it/1kX9MeWFa

Fliuch Báite

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Deliver all these notes into the hands of my older self 
I don’t know who could take from them anything else
And am I just hoarding trinkets 
Blink it’s 
Gone 
And I never said so long 
But you belong 
By my side
As the grey hairs encroach
On what I love the most
And, time, it is a fickle thing
And Aoibhín said I had a broken wing
In Dean Swift in St. Pat’s
They must have been wondering what I was at
Stalking the halls like a hungry ghost
In the shape of what I love the most
And it is coast to coast
But the shackles just fall
And I drew an eye on the wall
Coz I felt it watching me 
Shared a part of my history
I was back a year later and they hadn’t ruined 
The information that just came too soon
Til a woman took a pen
And wrote words over it again and again
So they painted the colour and the mess
A shade of brown but I digress
From what I’m saying here
It’s just I feel you near
When I’m locked in a cell
By those who wish me well
And they click a pen
Write the error down again
And I can’t seem to explain
That when the sky cracked into the rain
The pane of glass came falling down
Into sheets on the ground 
And I was soaked through and through
Fliuch and staring up at you
As I scream unto the sky
Please don’t let me die
Until I make destiny mine
And I will go through it, it’s fine
As all and sundry move away
Leave me to fall into what they say
And the meanings true
I reach out but there’s no you

Delegitimization Of Experience

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
I get how psychology 
Can be used to delegitimize your experience 
Like who’s that girl
And what’s she at
They came at me
Like they want me back
And hold me against my will
With the upmost skill
They bandage my eyes 
Til I can’t see
But I’ve a North Star leading me
Down the avenue 
By the coast
Spelling out what I love the most
And he swears he’s right
But I feel my head get light
When he suggests
What I should ingest
And it’s all for the higher power 
So I surrender to God
It makes it possible to bear the rod
That clips my my fingers 
As I grasp the cliff
Holding forever in a what if

Misunderstandings And Monosyllabic Replies

.Reading time 1 minute.
Psychosis walks in my door
Tells me that it wanted more
Than just to be locked in a cage
So I find some paper and let it rage
”It was never supposed to be like that”
“I said I love you but I take it back
Coz you just rained holy hell
And all these people say I’m not well”
“Well, what do you expect me to do” 
“I expect you to care, why don’t you”
All these conversations with a man in my mind
Is it telepathy or being left behind 
By my sanity
I utter a profanity
That evinces how I feel
I told the nurse it wasn’t real
So she handed me a pill
Set up a hill
That I have to climb to get out of here
But don’t you see, my dear
I am actually good
And the wood
Is only a forest of trees
For one who believes
And I’m letting on more than I know
If you love me let me go
As I fall onto a mattress of home
I never walk alone
Coz the King is always here
And He makes the scene crystal clear