Tag: Poetry

The Band Of Our Lives

.Reading time 4 minutes.
One avenue
I remember you had a sly eye
And I toyed with the idea
Of you being my guy
And you were sweet
And gave me strength
I don’t remember 
Where the self consciousness went
As you look at me
I can see the stars
Cave
Like all my prison bars
And I wonder where you be
And how you are
Remember the night
I picked you up in my car
And you looked so jazzed
And I felt so fly
I’m in love
And I don’t know why
And you stared in my eyes
When I dropped you off
I hope we’re still friends
And all is not lost
And I wonder if I could 
Kick back with you
I dunno if you
Still want me to
That I could be your Jess
Is this too cringey
You bought me a drink
Was I too stingy 
With my affection
As we open our hearts
There was no ending
So the magic starts
And the years roll by
Like a filofax
And you told me
To relax 
As I worried 
A frayed line of thread
Leave me thinking 
Of you instead
And I wonder what 
You would say if you
Knew all
That I’ve been through
Would it mar the image
You seem to have of me
You always seem to
Just give it to me free
As we laugh
The bursting joy
Saw you turn 
Man from a boy
And I always clicked
So you would know that I
Hold you close
Somewhere that can never die
And I wonder if you
Have a woman now
And if there’s still
Space for me somehow
Coz I want you to know
It’s more than a crush
And I know it’s been a decade
But we don’t have to rush
Just find our way
What do you say
Could we vibe
Like back in the day
And if I look to you
Would you look away
Coz I really 
Want you to stay
And make a fortress
That can’t be stormed
Keep a place
So the bed is warmed
As I hold your arm
And we kiss
I should be glad
You gave me something to miss
In your forest pure
And your deep brown eyes
You kind of know my heart
And it’s no surprise
That you had it all
Planned out in your mind
And I didn’t mean
To leave you behind
It’s just days were dark
And I scared myself
With the storms in
A teacup I spilt as I knelt
And you were so casual
And so on fire
You took my hand
And lifted me higher
And I haven’t forgotten
The good you do
I just don’t know
What to say to you
Coz I love you with
The full of my heart
And I want to close
The gap that keeps us apart
And I’d call your name
Across the expanse
If I thought that you
Would be down to dance
And kiss like you
Are still in the club
You have all I am
In your arms, love
And I’d love 
To be your equal
If I’ve written a history
Would you be the sequel 
To a place 
Where all is calm
Is our distance 
Just a false alarm
That can be quieted
By your soothing breath
You’ve gotta know
It’s not over yet
And I hold you
In a place so dear
No matter the clouds
The sky is clear

The March Of Doom

.Reading time 1 minute.
They still end up married
No matter what I do
Coz I couldn’t stop
What he wanted to
Do in the dead of the night
But not with me, I hope that’s alright
And he may have lost me forever
But he’s not sad enough to not wed her 
And she’s another girl
With big hair and a curl
To frame a face that stares at you
In happiness and something true
And I look at her and wish it was me
But my gift was to set you free
So you could run a length of rope
And begin to hope
In a new sky
But I just dropped in to say hi
In case you forget that I exist
Even if I’m not something that you missed 
In the years that built
The house you may have willed 
Into form 
Six months before you were born

Obstacles And Truth

.Reading time 1 minute.
Why she play the bitch
The one who’s running veins with the witch
And I know it’s not all of who she is 
But she still takes the side that’s his
So I peace out
Put it beyond all doubt
Coz she is a forest I would not walk 
Not for any share of her talk 
As she finds new ways to take me apart
All because I have heart 
And soul and fire and truth and beauty
And she is tethered to her duty 
In the realm of the left behind 
And the somewhere somehow out of her mind
She knows she did wrong
And she stifles her song 
As I sing mine 
She would have the silence for all of time 
Am I just being bitter, petty
Worried that he might forget me 
If I leave it too long 
Because he was the only place my light belong
As he took it into his arms 
And he kept me safe from harm 
And the sun reflected in his eyes
So he could see he never dies
Only ever in a dream 
To wake up to the unseen 
With a shock, rock, rattle and roll
And we are connected by the soul 
To never, ever really part 
He may have left but he took my heart
With him as he goes
And his breathing slows
As he drags me into his lungs
And my soul succumbs
To being absorbed into another sky
If only I knew how to fly

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The Great Empire

.Reading time 1 minute.
The awfulness of the white man
He gets everything any way that he can 
And you can say it’s ego
But is he free though 
When he stakes his flag
On virgin territory he can brag
With a map and a pen 
Then he tries to conquer me again 
That open land that spans the grass 
And you can say that your reign will last 
For millennia but I watch it fall 
And then it was like it was never there at all 
And they all say they’re good and they’re great
And they are definitely beyond the hate
Then they bury the light within 
And take issue with a fellow and blame him 
For the monuments he makes 
And the dragon wakes
And breathes fire on him 
So he says the enemy wins
But it’s not really out there
It’s in a heart that cannot care
For what it breaks
When he says he does it for your sake 

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The Castle

.Reading time 1 minute.
I can’t make you here now 
I can only allow 
Life to make its way to me 
And set you free
From the shackles you chain
Around yourself like acid rain 
That just burns its way through
And if there’s anything we can do 
It’s to hold the might 
Of the fuel for our fancy in the candlelight
As everyone tries to blow it out 
And my mouth 
Reaches to you
So I could breathe my love into 
The lungs that you use 
To abuse
The air that turns into words
Because they all go unheard
By the great weight of swim 
I don’t know why I liked him 
I just did and it gripped hold of my soul 
My sister says I should just roll
In the sea for a century 
And turn into what she’s made of me
All sticks and stones
And brittle bones
She loves to break 
And I should forsake 
My soul for proprietary
But my heart just won’t let me 
It bashes me up against the wall
Then throws me over a waterfall
Til I’m all worn out and in confusion 
My brain is heavy with all the bruising 
It has taken 
And then I waken 
And look up into his eyes
And know a love that never dies
Again 
I thought I had given up on men

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Love And Rage

.Reading time 3 minutes.
I’ve somehow always known this feeling
And it left me reeling 
When you told me that I was crazy
And it didn’t faze me 
But I decided to get a second opinion 
So I fled to the city
Let them assess every little bit of me 
And admit me to Stella Ward
It was as though someone crucified the bird 
That had been singing within me 
And they try to begin me 
With a meal of chicken and gruel 
And I walked into a room, the floor smelt like school
I dunno if it was the plastic floor 
Or the way they paint the exit door 
But it just reminded me of being three
And terrified of what they had in store for me 
And as the years advanced
I learned that I don’t have to dance
If I don’t want to 
But I was always compelled by you 
To act as the role provides
It’s as though I’m not even alive
But just a cartoon cutout or a silhouette
And somehow I have managed not to forget
Just who I am 
All these years under the plan 
That aims to rob us of humanity
And it did its best to take it from me
With pills and booze
With the winning and the knowing how to lose
Somehow in the middle of the sea
I realised it wasn’t for me 
And that there is another way to live
That I could forgive
All that had been done 
In my name by everyone 
And I just watch on a screen 
How the children scream 
And cry over a parent murdered from the sky
Unprepared and forced to die
To depart the form 
Now babies clutch bodies no longer warm 
And the saltwater flows from their eyes
While we just say, my, how time flies
As we get old and grey 
And pray
That we’ll have a safe departure
In Gaza they mourn the martyr 
Under a mountain of rubble 
We have known the same trouble 
On our island 
It’s on file and 
Making someone rich somewhere 
As they wonder do we care 
About the force of might 
And like every candlelight 
The dark departs 
When it sees what is burning in your heart 
I see a kind of constant flame 
Just whisper it when they call your name 
And as you step to the stage
Let love be your kind of rage 

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The Pulling Pain

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I try not to feel it
Will time heal it 
If I just let it burn 
But the world just turn
And they grasp my arms
Tell me they’re keeping me safe from harm 
And I feel the burning within 
It all came from him
As I can barely hold on 
To what is long gone 
And who I am craves for his flesh
The terror to think he might regret
Ever knowing me 
I cry on the phone, the tears are flowing from me 
As he grits his teeth and his tongue clicks 
And one of his best friends says he can be a dick 
And I just think of that Taylor Swift song
What if I was wrong 
And you never loved anything 
And the ring 
I thought I would wear
Is just part of the dress that would tear
As she wears it down the aisle
And I watch you smile 
Right into the face of your demise
But there’s death in your eyes
And it’s something I cannot avoid
It’s not like just loving one of the boys
It brings me to the brink of surrender
And a day that you “barely remember”
And I wonder if the gaslit anthem plays
Or if there’s any truth in what he says 
When he says that I am beyond the pale
Is it just that I am not up for sale 
That gets under his skin 
And he was flush with the cash but I wanted him 
Not the dollars he owes 
To the person whose garden he sows
With seeds aplenty 
But I look at him and his face is empty
Devoid of all emotion 
And the commotion 
Gets too loud 
So I let the borrowed fools crowd
Around me and operate 
On the person who just wants a date 
Sometime in April, coz it’s just the right air 
It would be great if you could meet me there 
If she lets you slip away
Out of her grasp and the break of day
Sounds a new dawn 
If you look to me you will see what was never gone 
Only unobserved
I gave you my word 

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Manifesting Andy

.Reading time 1 minute.
Manifesting Andy, I try to look the other way
And pretend I cannot say 
What is the fire inside of me 
Is there another way for me to be 
And it caused me physical pain
When I first heard your name 
It was when I was carted off to the mental 
So much more than words in central 
Dublin and they said I needed to be there
As ambivalent as a girl without a care
When she was interrupted 
And have we fucked it 
Up
In the name of love
And it all comes around to the scene 
The way that it could wake my dreams 
The loins that long
The moment you belong 
When you’re with someone 
And you can see your son
And daughter running around 
And they’re not even born and you hear the sound
Of their peeling bells of laughter 
Just like their father 
As you sit by his side
How do I hide
I have the whole future planned out
And I’m afraid my doubt 
Will kill what we are
We may have all been forged within a star 
But we are black hole bound 
I know oblivion when I hear the sound 
Of your mystery ring 
Would you give me one if I gave you everything
And you just sigh and look away
So I leave it for another day

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Not Pretty

.Reading time 1 minute.
Why am I not pretty
And it’s a chorus, are you singing it with me 
As they make up the foundation 
To sell us one side of an equation 
Seventeen to twenty four
Til they don’t want you anymore
And I fell into the sway
But it’s not what I thought, okay
As I was labelled beautiful and sexy 
Til I gained weight and then it’s like, next, we
Don’t have time
To be the victims of your favourite crime 
And you’re just jealous coz they don’t see 
The same thing when they’re looking at me 
And is it some kind of superficial 
To be so contrived in the official 
Way they tow the line 
Because I feel fine
The way I am 
Have no ambition to Uncle Sam
My way into the American dream 
And be a supernova queen 
On the cover of a magazine 
I just want to scream 
That everything just fades and falls 
And all the walls 
I thought I had up 
Just drop away in this love
As someone somewhere says I look like the sky
And the days I wanted to die
Are long gone
But that song
Still sings on repeat
Don’t judge someone 
Til you’ve felt their heartbeat

Into The Mystic

.Reading time 1 minute.
Have you ever been afraid of deserted roads
Like you can’t walk them alone
Have you ever been afraid to even leave your home
For fear of what might come to pass
When a guy says; check out her ass
And so the feeling goes
The shame, the blame, the game, God knows

Have you ever been afraid of having one too many
Not because there are guards but coz there isn’t any
To protect what you might call your virtue
The catcalls that just hurt you
As you walk down the street
The uncomfortable feeling when your eyes meet

Have you ever been afraid to say me too, too
For fear of what that punk might do
As he braces against the wall
Ready to hit you with it all

And I’m tired, I’m just weary
And I want you to hear me
When I say I know it’s not all guys
But could you be the one who tries
To make a change
Coz isn’t it strange 
What silence will do 
When there’s walls between us two


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The Feminine Advance

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Is it wrong I don’t want to “have kids”
And I reject the idea of being his 
Because I don’t want to be owned
Always revelling in the unknown 
And my sister thinks it’s the only way
But I have learned that what she say
Is only an expression of how she sees
And it’s not up to me to believe 
In something I don’t want 
Forty two and the haunt
Eating up my heart and soul 
And is it Jackie and Wilson to be whole 
Because when you hit thirty everyone expects
You to just have sex
And make three out of two
Or more if possible to issue from you
And when you’re a teen they warn you that 
Your life will be ruined if you create something you can’t take back 
And I watch all these children dying 
In foreign countries and they’re crying 
And I just want to reach out and touch
And tell them I love them so much
And I am doing everything I can 
To resist the man 
Who says that war is the way to peace
And all these people that decease
Are just casualties and collateral damage 
How can he stand the carnage
And I know it’s not up to me to blame
And no one really is their name 
They are the depths and so much more
But I must tell you, mo stór 
That you are paving the path to hell
And I can’t just stay out of it and wish you well 
Or be obstinate refuse
Boycott the brands I will not use
I must let a new dream birth
And create a new dawn all over the earth
What is the feminine reveal 
Is that she can only ever steal 
That which is not real 

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The End In The Beginning

.Reading time 1 minute.
Getting old, I’m thirty three
And people no longer say my whole life’s in front of me
And my friend died when I was seventeen 
And since then the dream 
Has had no appeal 
Because it simply is not real
As the canvas just gets torn 
Bodies fail and they get worn 
And I have to say goodbye
To everyone when they die
But somehow the veil fell 
And all the people who called me unwell
Are tracking my shoes
Wondering why singing the blues
Sounds so damn good to the sea
As if it’s pulsing to the beat of me 
In the winter of my life
And I should be a wife 
To that man
But I don’t think I can 
Because I don’t want to bear child 
One reason is I want to stay wild
The other is that I can’t leave
Them to the world that I believe
Is only born to be taken away
And even if they’re a baby they cannot stay
Here forever
And I would never 
Want to do that to someone 
Pluck them from security to the drug of done
Counting down the days til they lose
The power of having someone to choose 
To be a lover
And is it just another 
Way of avoiding what’s now
I look at myself and I allow
The crippled and broken
To have the words that I’ve never spoken 
Into the air 
It all was lost til He was there

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High And Dry

.Reading time 1 minute.
She left me high and dry
And all I could do was cry
On the floor of my room
Preceded by the waves of doom
And I fought so hard to say
I love you, okay
But she says those are just lines
And forever comes round a million times
And I write and I write and I write away
All the things I cannot say 
Out loud
Coz I’m too proud
To admit defeat
As I’m falling at your feet
And begging you
To come back to
What we were
And I don’t trust her
Coz she never tells me anything true
Only pulls layers across my vision of you
And I know you’re taken and have kids
It’s just I can’t argue with what is
As a pulse beats in my lip
A heart that love equip 
To sail across any storm
The heat of this beat is warm
As it gets closer to the sun
Don’t you know you’re the only one
Who ever knew me that way
Except for her? Well, maybe, okay
And I’ve drawn lines across the sea
To see how you got to me
Like diagrams on a map
You just give my back a slap
And tell me I will be just fine
But did you know that you stop time?

Promises And Dreams

.Reading time 2 minutes.
She inflects a simple turn of head
And I’m dreaming of him in my bed
As we make mattresses make music
It’s been years but I finally choose it
Come undone in the spokes of you
Threading the needle, you pull it through 
Whether in this season or ones yet to come
He’s like a perpetual burning sun
And I love him or I wouldn’t say
I give it all up okay
Dream of you just holding my hand
Walking the streets or strolling the strand 
That we’ve come to know
And it is the one place that will not let go 
But it’s been years since I found that shore
When I had nothing to adore
And that girl had torn me to pieces
Shredded over a person that deceases 
Despite my best efforts to pray 
Them back into being okay
And she took what was left of me
And cracked the glass with indignity 
As she separated me from all my friends
And told me that this has to end 
Now or never in some way
I sat beside her in Irish and I couldn’t say 
The words I was longing to 
You are no friend, are you 
And the space was distance long
But she did me wrong 
In my mind 
In her own she was left behind 
By some great power of weight 
So now she gets by on the hate
She hurls at anyone close to her
And I know now what we were 
That she was only ever on my side
When she could beat me with her stride
Being longer than mine
But I don’t have the time 
To waste on you 
So I let you just do what you do 
And fuck everything up 
So you can realise it was never love
On this side of the fence
And they say that the first defence
Is an act of war 
I just don’t want to be around you, mo stór

Absent Belonging

.Reading time 3 minutes.
I have always felt absent belonging 
And there’s no telling who I’m wronging 
When I say I’m on my own 
Because they’re all on the other end of the phone 
But I can’t bring myself to call
And listen to myself talk to a brick wall
As it echoes back at me 
And I just want to let her go free
But something pulls me back to meet
The way that he feet
Walk in the beat with mine
And would it be a crime 
To let her know that I 
Once wanted to die
When I had lost someone to the sky
They say it’s heaven but that’s a lie
Because I know they would never leave me here
Not when I hold them dear
To depart to some foreign shore
That they are supposed to love more
Than anything on earth
And I savour the hurt
Because it reminds me of my toes 
By the sea as the water goes 
In and out
And my self doubt
Fades away
What is it that they say
You have to stand on your own two feet
But all I could ever meet
Was this great void inside my soul 
That is not getting old
As time passes
And all the classes 
That I aced 
Never compared to his face
When he looks at me with honest eyes
And my spirit flies
I wonder if he knows what he is to me
I don’t think he does but my integrity 
Won’t let me spill the tea 
All over the table in front of me 
And Isabelle asked me who I liked
And I swear I should have been miked 
Up because someone was listening 
And I can hear the future glistening 
Like a new pearl 
I was just a girl 
And couldn’t face the idea of 
A narrow kind of eighty year love
With babies and cars
Gardens that grow and weekend bars 
But I was born to roam the fields
So I hold back and he yields
To the idea that I don’t care
But do I dare 
Tell him that I do
So I run away and confess myself to you
Coz you’re unattainable and far off
And I loved you when you were lost 
But now you’re found 
You won’t hear a sound
From me 
I choose presence over the indignity 
Of bearing child 
I once was wild
And running through the trees
And something in me believes 
That I’ll always be this way
So I couldn’t agree with what you say

Handing Out Tokens

.Reading time 2 minutes.
He makes me feel brand new
And I’m not thinking of him when I’m talking to you
And I don’t know who I wrote this about
But no longer mired in self doubt
I listen to the angels that speak their tome
Into my brain when I’m all alone
And I told the psychiatrist that I hear voices
It’s not like he gave me many choices
It’s psychosis or on the brink 
Of letting the whole thing sink 
And so I drink the potion he’s dying to sell
And all the people they call unwell
And I know it’s nicer than crazy
And it doesn’t faze me 
It just feels clinical and watered down 
And when you want to drown 
Telling people that the sea
Is rising up to meet me 
In the great valley I am 
And someone mentions a care plan 
That I refuse to read
They take my blood and I bleed
Out into several jars
And I wonder if the stars 
Had this in mind
When they told me I would not be left behind
By the might of weighted thunder
Some people say I’m just a number 
And don’t know what to do 
But do you want to rock it with us, do you
And I lose the rag
And the man tries to brag
But it falls flat
As I wonder what the hell is he at
I realise only too late
He was trying to impress me into a date
Or a roll in the sheets
Was it predestined that we meet
Or was it organised
And something within never dies
No matter what they put you through
Telling you it’s for the good too 
As they lie to your face
But they lie to themselves too and it’s a waste
As the Barbie dream house claims one more doll 
Was I wrong to answer the call? 

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Nostalgia For The Bad Old Times

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I’m nostalgic for the bad old times 
For wicked games and nine crimes
And Damien Rice plays while I sit in the car
Wondering what exactly you are 
And I traversed the lonely forest 
And you could keep me lonely but never honest
As I try to recapture UCD 
But it all just keeps escaping from me 
And it was the years of Marian and Dee
Of Elaine, Darragh and things that helped me go free
And when I rediscovered my dignity 
My ability to run after people disappeared 
And I could sense that the end neared
In 2011 and I cried
It was as though something had died 
In me, in us, in the world at large
And my sister says I live in the past but that barge
Never fails to take me home 
As I roam 
Empty streets and green triangles 
In the darkness and newfangled 
Angels on the brink
Of watching us all go down the kitchen sink
And he said something’s I don’t understand 
But he’s beautiful and oh, what a man
So I cut the thread
Coz I sense that he wants my bed
More than he wants my heart
And if it’s all about the art
Then why does he cry 
I sense diamonds at the edge of my eye 
As I try
To pierce through to his core
But it just eludes me more
Maybe everything is just as it seems
And I’m just waking from the dream 
That I made up in my own head 
I forget everything you said
But not what you stand for 
And I adore
The mists of time 
What would life be like if you were mine? 

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Falter On The Bridge

.Reading time 1 minute.
Would it be okay to speak the truth
I falter on the bridge between old age and youth
And she says I don’t need to doubt
Or I’m bound to do without
So I let the words slip
And pass my lips
Do you know who I am
The girl with a plan
As I see you in a suit and tie
Fifty years or so til we say goodbye
What do you think
I pour you another drink
To help you steady your nerves
I feel the flash of you as the car swerves 
And know that the words are done
But you are the one
Who silences noise
You were never one of the boys
But an ocean to span
I’d do my best but I dunno if I can
Ever be what I was before
But shur isn’t that what lovin’s for
And I break a smile across a desert scene
You are the fuckin’ dream

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Don’t Think I Should Have Asked

.Reading time 1 minute.
He was dangerous but beautiful 
Like a shark in the water
And I know he thinks he caught her
Though he never did 
I just hid 
All I wanted to from him 
But I saw that grin
When I bit my straw 
And let him see through to the Great Thaw
I did not want to let him go
So I let him see enough so 
That he would not believe
He was nothing but a heart on a sleeve
And he issued me a warning 
And I’m not forlorning 
But I must let you know 
That there’s something in what moves you slow
Through the ice
And you were not super nice
But you were kind enough to say
That you wouldn’t get in my way
If I were to move my stance
But you take my hand and our eyes dance
Their own reel across the screen 
Of what was only ever a dream 
And your hair was super cool 
As your run your fingers through it and my drool
Nearly runs from my mouth
And in the years since I think of what I do without 
By ignoring what I am 
What did you mean by “the plan”?

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A Moment Held In My Heart

.Reading time 1 minute.
I was faking the dumb ingenue
But I was real when I let on that you 
Were someone I could love
And I know your glove
Could fit my arm 
I’m just not sure you would keep me from harm
If you held me under your roof
And I need proof
So I set a test
You knock a domino and I do the rest 
As we clamber up onto each other 
Just a man and his lover
In the middle of the sea
It’s open season on what you think of me 
As you plot a course and chart the shore
And I must admit that I adore
All you have to offer
I just wish that I didn’t stop her
From expressing what she feel
And the moment that we share is real

Back To My Old Place

.Reading time 1 minute.
It wouldn’t be Dublin if I wasn’t late 
And somewhere under the covers is a man I’d like to date 
And I think of him as I sit in this sojourn 
Do I always have to mourn
It’s been ten years since we talked
A decade since I walked 
My boots down the road
And everything slowed
Down, how do I get away
I cover my ears so I don’t hear what you say
Because you tell me that it’s over, over the hill 
And I know that you would kill
Just to feel alive
But somewhere in the dive
You found the water you wanted
You tell me and I can’t say that I amn’t daunted
By the weight of your magnitudinous pain 
And I just stand out in the rain 
So I can feel it on my skin 
But I never felt him 
Move with the beat
Touched his face when we’re feet to feet
And somewhere in a daydream, diamond true 
I think that I found you 
For a reason 
And for a season 
That lasted three hours long
I was the ocean in which you drown

The Bark Of The Tree

.Reading time 1 minute.
How do people get like that, is it believing that the age you are 
Is anything more than revolutions around a star 
And I may be thirty three
But I’ve never been more free
As they put handcuffs on me
And tell me to preserve my dignity 
If I want to shine 
But I’m self effulgent and love is mine 
Though you wouldn’t know it from my visage
Don’t feel bad
It isn’t all your fault 
I kicked you out of the vault 
After letting the key slip into your hand 
And now I demand 
That you break like a wave upon my shore 
If you want me to love you more 
But it’s just like listening to the scene 
She wakes her own dream 
Up from where it lay
And I don’t get a say
About the perforate you opened 
And something is hoping
In what you never were to me 
I take a moment and I just be  

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The Silent Whisper Of Grace

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I thought God could only ever be found
In the complete absence of sound 
In the silence that descends 
On my room as the riverbends
From lavender to primrose and flame 
And I wake up from my name 
And it all seems so perfect, true
Til I met you
And it all cascaded down
You wanted to run my town 
So you could have a girl in the wings
And, my, you love the way she sings 
But you don’t understand her
And you demand her
To be as you would please
Up on her tiptoes or down on her knees
But neither one will ever be me
So I let you go free
Though I love you with all of my heart
I won’t make pain just to make art
Or love
Or fit like a glove
Into a biological cog
I dream of a fire burning a log
While we lie on the rug before it
And you know I would adore it
A blanket made just for two 
But it never was me and you
We spit fire into each other’s veins
And in the aftermath cleaned up the bloodstains
On the carpet where we fought
It was in darkness that the ring was wrought 
And cascaded into eternity
You asked me to burn with thee 
But I let go that crime 
And am absorbed into the sublime 
And even if they don’t get me here 
It doesn’t mean I’ll run to you dear 
If you make a fool of me 
When I just wanted life school and mystery 
To encompass all we were
I dropped the glass when I saw her
And it broke and shattered on the floor
You don’t even hide that you adore
Another pair of eyes
And my trust in you dies 
Slowly but surely in the awe 
That you could begin the Great Thaw

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Arms Around My Soul

.Reading time 1 minute.
Did you make a mistake telling me to go to hell
And now all you want to shout is that you wish me well
After all the evidence to the contrary
Now you hold vigils and pray to Mother Mary
But you don’t find any answers there
At least not the ones that make you care 
And I spilled truth like ink 
All over the kitchen sink 
And you balked at its black, viscous flavour 
And I looked at you as though you were my saviour 
But you only saw the war 
And you crucified me for 
What you sought to keep 
Now it haunts you in your sleep 
And you can’t get my voice out of your mind
It whispers to you as to what you’ve left behind
And your bed is warm 
But you look so forlorn 
At the shape that sleeps beside you in the sheets
And you wonder if two people ever meet 
On a level playing field 
And I feel you hate me so I yield 
To the tide of going away
It isn’t indifference that made me sway
And let the ribbon float into the air 
It’s because I loved the man that was there 

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Fighting To Find Peace

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I feel the fatigue in his bones 
As he tries to close our homes 
To the oncoming wind
And he knows that he’s sinned
So he can’t hold my gaze
Should I tell him that there’s no one to save
When he tries to reach out to catch the lapel 
Of the girl who fell
Into his arms for a while 
And he could crack cameras with a smile 
And I watched it break across you so easy
It was as though the Universe was just there to please me
As I shut half of my soul down 
So I can go undetected in your town 
But eventually, the bells, they rang
And somewhere our song sang 
Out its own refrain
And it was as though a train 
Ran right through the gates
Now the boy thinks the girl hates
Him for what he is 
I just had to go so we could both live
Not merely survive
Sometimes I wonder if you’re still alive
Coz I dropped out of the scene
And I only meet you in my dream 
And I woke up at five in the morning
And something had me mourning
As I screamed “he’s dead”
They conspire to kill me instead
And it was never what I wanted
I wonder if the love we share is haunted
By the ghost of lives past 
Something last
But something just fall away
Like it was never made to stay
And he casts a glance my way
Would you dance if the record play 
Our song again 
Which one was it, the one about men
And how they fall short of the sky
When we are released do we die
Into an open expanse
And would our love get another chance
When the rote learned is done
After a hundred echoes around the sun

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The Approaching Age

.Reading time 1 minute.
There is an approaching age
That I have not yet written on the page
It is the year of forty two 
And it is being free of you 
For once and for all
There was a freefall
And I can’t say I didn’t enjoy it
But boy it
Is too rich for my blood now
I’ve said so long for good somehow 
And you’re bitter in your harness
As you imagine my mini dress
In someone else’s hands 
But it’s all slipping sands
And he may have made me melt 
But it wasn’t the same as what I felt 
For you in the woods 
And the doctor wants to do my bloods
To make sure I’m not sick 
Sometimes I think they’re thick 
Because they never seem to catch on 
That I am already long gone 
And they can’t tether soul to a skin
Once it has resolved itself in him 
And I know she has trials of her own 
It’s just my true colours shown 
Are deep red and fragrant blue
And some of those were borrowed from you 
So if you don’t mind 
I’m gonna just be kind
To myself for a season 
And let you go without a reason 

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By The Skin Of My Teeth

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Did I miss out on utter defeat
By the skin of my teeth
Or was it all an illusion
Something I found out about in my confusion
And can they really read my mind 
Or has it all been left behind 
In the melee of all and sundry 
On a darkened Monday 
As I just ponder the truth
And what I escaped from in my youth
Is the dark a punishment 
Or is it just where the light went 
When it dived into a black hole 
There’s something of my soul 
That resembles that monument 
And the paper is bent 
In the place where I folded it for you 
You know, it wasn’t because I wanted to 
Let you go that I left
It was the sheer audacity of the theft 
That occurred in broad daylight
Now there’s nothing I can say to put it right 
Because on the 21st of December
I don’t know if you remember 
It was twelve years ago 
And you acted like you were in the know
And that the prophecy was in vain
But I can feel the coming rain 
Like a shadow over the valley
And I wanted to be your alley
Til you revealed your truth to me 
And I balked in indignity 
You have a woman on the sly
And you never even told me goodbye 
You always kept me in your heart
Like a second cow at the mart 
Just so you could feel secure 
One ready and able and the other pure
But untouchable as a star
As I ponder what you are 
Somewhere in the serene 
Of someone else’s dream 

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We Will Never Be Together

.Reading time 2 minutes.
We will never be together
Because I have studied the weather
And it doesn’t bode well for you 
I know the taste of hell too 
But I could never do what you did
Shake a knife and then hid 
Slink into the corner of some darkened hole
Like that is the place for your soul 
And I reside in the light
I kept trying to illuminate your night
And you resolutely proud 
Said it once out loud 
That you never want to see me again
And there’s only so much I will take from men
And an admission of defeat
Is the woman washing Jesus’ feet 
Like she is the downfall of man
And I know you’d take power any way you can
Simply because you’ve got none of your own 
Think you can invade my home 
And there will be no consequence
I smiled at you and then away I went 
And you won’t see me at your door
Not again, not anymore
You could write me a sonnet or a song
But it doesn’t change the way you do me wrong 
And the look of you in my living room 
Is preceded by the sound of doom 
And cashing out on the promise 
Is the part of me that keeps you honest
So go love your faithful bride
And forget that I am alive 
I’m not here to take you away
From a woman that would stay 
Through all your tripe 
I kiss your memory in the candlelight

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The Fear Of Life And Death

.Reading time 1 minute.
There is a fear of life and death
And there is burning regret
That you have not got to live it right
When they take your whole life
And pulverise your wanton veins 
So they can see the stains 
On the carpet when they clean it up 
Then have the temerity to call it love
I know she doesn’t understand 
Though she claims she can read my hands 
When I do not show the deck 
I don’t know about truth but she knows a shipwreck 
And she seeks to break my bow on that hill 
But though she may kill 
All of what is alive in her 
And sacrifice what we were 
Because propriety and conformity
Are part of what earned her her degree
And that society
That she claims deference to 
Is no reference to 
What I am 
And she has a plan 
To lead with her heat maker 
And cry over the ones who forsake her 
And lock the gate on the years behind her 
I believed once but something said not to mind her 
Living in the broken brigade 
So I pull the switch and sit in the shade 
Of the great tree I love 
And let the light shine on me from above 
I guess you could call it sanctuary 
From the demons they launched at me 

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The Yearning

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There’s always a yearning for the male form
More than just a body to keep me warm
But a heart to beat outside my chest 
A love that knows me better than the rest 
And yet I stumble 
And it feels like love is a jungle
Coz I put my whole self out there
Then he tells me that I don’t care 
That I’m just making rhymes
And that it means nothing, just a sign of the times
So I retract
Say, fuck that shit, and I take back 
What I had given free 
Because you will not do that to me 
And his face drops 
You would have sworn I had called the cops 
On his ass
And nothing of my class
Betrays my sigh
For I will love him til the day that I die 
And in between 
When everything is a dream 
And plays upon the screen 
Of day to day
His lip quivers and he is not okay
But I just have to release him to her grasp
Because he says we cannot last
And with every attempt I make 
He just says that I am fake 
And I watch as the wave break 
Across the sand
He wants me to understand
And I do 
But it’s not getting through to you 
So I let you pass
And hope sometime that your star will dart
Across my sky again 
I give up on the realm of men 

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The Witching Hour

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There is a witching hour
And she lives like she has all the power 
To throw weight around 
And her sound
Is a fearsome blame
When she throws everything at my name 
Like it will stick 
And she says he’s just being a dick 
But I don’t believe it
I saw his heart on his sleeve, it
Will never escape my memory 
Even though their war got the best of me 
As they pummelled my frame 
Hit me like every blow was the same 
I will never betray
Him by lying about what he say
The truth spills
And time kills
Everything it touches 
Nothing there is but something fucks it
Up
And love
Is no exception 
Except there is Jesus and his Resurrection 
That reminds me there is truth
And there is not just youth
But maturity
I woke up to the best of me 

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The Brigade And The Cavalry

.Reading time 2 minutes.
She has to have noise
Like I have to have boys
Because when it gets too silent it blocks out the light
And she realises she is not alright 
So she scrolls on her phone 
Even though she is all alone 
And somewhere in the forest of tears
She finds the reason for all these years 
Spent in resistance to the cause
Spent in fury at a life on pause
And I can only dance
And hope that she gets a second chance
To be all she thinks she is 
But one thing’s for sure is that I am His
And she worries the thread
Frays it as she lies in bed
For the trouble of what amounts 
To the lies that she surmounts 
In order to maintain a coherent frame
And I cannot even mention his name 
Or it sets off a torrent of words 
To make sure the truth goes unheard
And that holy bird
Learns to live on a silent wing 
Because I gave him everything 
And I’m not taking it back 
Though they attack 
Me from every front and place
For daring to love his face
When the pretence drop 
And I am not 
The words she uses to condense 
Everything into the present tense 
It’s humiliating 
As if he’s just some guy I’m dating 
On the sly
And the reason why
Is more than she’s ever known 
She thinks she quenched it but the seeds that are sown
Only flourish in the darkest earth
And everything she uses to hurt
Me with 
For being a “bitch”
In modern parlance 
Is nothing, darlin’ 
I just brush it off
And whisper to him “all is not lost” 

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Lives And Weather

.Reading time 1 minute.
The life I’ve always wanted receded into the distance
And when I reached for it I only felt resistance 
As I confessed my secret heart
He took his wound and tore me apart 
And with tears in his eyes
He ripped into my disguise
Til I stand with paper hands
And look at the sands
Slipping through the cracks
I know we can’t go back
From this
I though you might kiss
Me when you found out the truth
Like I know you wanted to in our youth
And I put you off
And you splutter and cough
And tell me you have no time
For what I found in the diamond mine
And soldered to a band of gold for you
In a past life I was the one to
Go down on one knee
Reversed genders, same eternity
And I propose a solution to the problem
Because together, all of the troubles, we’d solve them
And you’ve found another partner
And it would hearten her
If she knew how you talked behind her back
And the girls that you attack
In her name
I don’t mean to lay the blame
But is it just gonna be the same
As it was two hundred years ago
With your blonde hair and the way you kissed me slow

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The Sadness That Winds Me

.Reading time 1 minute.
The grief crumples me like a deck of cards
And no one knows how hard
It got in the midst of the night
And I contemplated the death of the light
Coz everywhere I looked it was black
And the dealer stack
Everything against me 
My best friend resents me
And that person that wants to take me down
Looks like she runs this town
As she commands the sea
And turns the whole tide upon me
And as it rushes and consumes 
Something pulls me from those rooms
Into a place I’ve never been
But somehow had already seen
Maybe in a dream or through a past life
And every man looks for a wife
When he reaches a certain age
I just reach for the page
Because the immortal hue
Has stopped shining from you
It’s like you buried it somewhere
When you say that I just don’t care
And it’s impossible to get through to you
So I say goodbye too
As you hang up the phone
Could you just leave me alone?

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Writing Something I’m Proud Of

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I'm writing something I'm proud of, it's a saga
And you could just say I love the drama
Of being in and out of an emotional state
With boys that I don't even date
But could you equate
All that society requires
With the way they set the fires
In my heart just brimming full
And there are no strings they pull
Just help me to find the peace
That I thought did decease
With the passing of time
But passion is mine
And freedom and plurality
And loving for eternity 
If life can be encased between two events
The where'd you come from and where'd it went 
Anyway the dash 
Won't hold any cash 
You have to leave it behind
It, your heart and your mind
But your consciousness, where does that go
Is that not the reason you exist, so 
It outlives time and space
They appear in it and do not waste
Any of themselves on a fragrant breath
I'd tell you the truth but it hasn't happened yet

The Far Distant Shore

.Reading time 1 minute.
I was a country girl to you 
When you let me go 
And I should have let you know
That there’s no far distant shore
You can traverse that would make me love you no more
And you’ve been closer to me than any man
And you’ve access to places that no one can 
Get into 
Because I know that you
Can be trusted
And I think I might have been busted
In New York City
And it may have been a pity 
That the stormed never rained a cloud
On a dream that would have made you proud
And there are vicissitudes that lie
Above the ground where we will die 
And fade into the earth 
I know it hurt 
But don’t let that blind you 
To the people that mind you
From what you seek
Don’t think that I am weak 
Just because I don’t play the fool
That I used to in school
To detract their eyes
From my truth among the lies
That abound
I answer when I hear your sound

The Hinterland He Hits Me With

.Reading time 1 minute.
He calls me a bitch
A modern day version of being a witch
A vision that does not comply 
With someone else’s ride or die 
And he’s a sashay
When he looks at me that way 
But he’s found someone else
And it does no good for my mental health
To stare at them both
Through the windowpane of the stories you quote 
Me in the dark 
And it left a mark 
When you said you didn’t have the time to share
With someone who would care 
If you let her in 
So I let you win
And you hang up the line
Somehow I know that it will be the last time 
We speak for a while 
And your smile 
Seems stifled prude
And you act like you’re the dude
On the page you play
But I just pray 
You will grow
Up and out of the mindset you know 
And hit me with 
So keep her lit 
And let me breathe
I’m not the woman that you need

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Setting Context For Our Demise

.Reading time 2 minutes.
There’s a world that we live or it appears so 
And there are places we’re not supposed to go
But we always traversed that line
As though we could travel through time 
Back to when we begin
When it was just me and him 
On the bus
In open arms and open trust
But then he turns on me 
And his eyes fire daggers into the sea
As I’m looking through
The ocean soul straight at you 
And I feel your pain 
Fall on me like acid rain 
And I turn away
But there are things I still have to say 
If you would only listen 
But his teardrops merely glisten 
Like his skin in the sun 
Before I knew he was the one 
That would father my child 
Out in the wild 
Of what we were 
And you looked at her
With sadness in your gaze
And I wish I could save
You from your embark 
But you shoot at me in the dark 
As though I’m the enemy 
Instead of the one trying to steady 
The ship you roll on every wave
And the glass is clear but you pave 
Over the ceiling with concrete stone 
And you make someone else your home 
And that would be fine 
If you hadn’t stole my time 
In a whisper at the break of day
And I am okay
But I’m not great 
But I don’t hate
You at all 
I just say goodbye to the wall
You face in my direction 
All of this because of your selection 
In a different time 
Is loving you my only crime? 

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Are These Just Dreams?

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I think what it would be like to marry my man
And know that I can 
Touch him anytime I want 
And not live in the daydream haunt
Like a house that no one lives in 
When did it become about men and women
And the politics therein 
He calls me a bitch and I just look at him
Like the punk he is 
And the junk he’d kiss
If only he could get close enough 
Tells me that this is love
But we both live in a world on fire
And it never seems to tire
Of reminding us both
That we live by the coast
On a foreign shore 
If we think we love each other more 
Than the next pair 
And I stare 
At her hair 
As it flows over her shoulders
And its as though she could roll boulders
Away from the mouth of the tomb 
And I wonder if there would be room 
For me in that gigantic heart of hers
Lost in memories and what we were’s 
But it doesn’t bring them back
And the next country attack 
Us for what we represent 
How could hell be heaven sent 
If what they say is true
The proof is in the pudding, do you 
Eat it so you know it’s good
Or are you still lost in the wood
That seem to shelter your storm 
But the heat of the fire is still warm 
And it burns like your soul 
As it welds me back to whole
In our iron and wine
She looks into my eyes and I am fine 

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Ripped From His Mother’s Arms

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I watch the Palestinian children die
And why do I get to cry
When their eyes are dry 
And a parent weeps over the corpse 
While soldiers laugh with no remorse 
And the commanders drop another bomb
Where has our humanity gone 
Do we not see ourselves in the other 
See our sister and brother 
In every battered storm front of war 
And I just look at her
And see the death that I know
The pain life has visited upon me slow
That must be experienced by the masses
Or as they’re designated - the lower classes
While I sit and sup my tea
Knowing full well that it could be me 
If I lived a hundred and eighty years ago 
When the British starved us slow 
To death 
And there is a memory that does not forget
It’s held like generational pain 
And I resonate with the acid rain 
That falls from white phosphorus plumes
Into lungs and living rooms
And burns into skin and sears 
People with images of those they hold dear 
Suffering and crucified
In every single one who’s died
Is the hidden heat 
Of the love that makes my heart beat 
And no claims of anti-semetic
Can make me subscribe to the rhetoric 
That justify the claims of war
When the dust settles what will all this be for 
And will we survive another spin of the wheel 
That makes us deny what we feel 
So we are capable of 
The worst of what I’ve listed above 

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Standing In The Heat

.Reading time 2 minutes.

***Trigger Warning – Mental Health***

I’m standing in the heat
And I feel the power of us meet
As we are seventeen and eighteen 
I learned that every dream 
I ever had
Could be tied to feeling bad
Because it all gets taken away from me 
One way or another by time or indignity 
And you were sent like a saint
Now it’s my blood you use to paint
Your facebook page 
And I feel a certain scent of rage
Colour my cheeks 
That you think I’m weak 
And need the help of my family
When I’ve always rebelled at what they wanted from me 
Now I’m held like a noose 
As though I’m the golden goose
That must be prized in case she is set loose
By her own hand 
But I wouldn’t worry, I am grand
And have no intention to jump from a cliff
It’s all held in a what if 
And the march of time 
Can steal everything but what’s mine 
God plucked me from the sea
When dying was all that was left of me 
And I fought my way to the shore
Gasping and what’s more 
I was tired and wrecked 
And something woke while I slept 
And in the bathroom I couldn’t bear
To look in a mirror that would tear
Who I was to pieces
Coz everything that’s born deceases
And my grandmother just left this earth
And I can’t seem to bear the hurt
I was fourteen 
And my scream 
Was silent and unheard
Except by that holy bird
Who alight on my shoulder
And somehow roll away the boulder
In the mouth of the tomb
I find my Jesus and resume 
My prostrations at the feet of my Lord
It’s not over till you hear the spoken Word
Made flesh 
And every regret 
Falls to the floor 
As I worship what I was born to adore 

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Losing The Love Of My Life

.Reading time 2 minutes.
What is the call of New York
And why is there a fork 
In the road and on the table 
And I am not able 
To leave it all behind 
Even if I must go out of my mind
Or be labelled as such 
Because I love you so much 
And I couldn’t be there when you died
Because the man asked me how I am and I cried
So I got locked up in St. Pat’s again 
And it may be the will of men
To contain what they don’t understand 
But I look at you and you just say “it’s grand, 
I won’t leave you a grá mo chroí”
And even though my broken knee
Falls to the floor
I know there’s more
Than just screaming into the air
“She’s not there, she’s not there”
And it was all I could do not to hit my head off the wall
And they console me but I fall 
Into their lap and rebel against the constraint
Of being okay with the colour she paint
Because everyone has their own way
But I must do what she say
If I’m not to be medicated
And I may be educated 
But it has been the work of my life
To make sure I don’t become a wife
And go down with the ship 
Or the forests that they equip 
With cutting trees
And the birds and the bees 
Buzz around my head
But I would give it all up just to lay in bed
And mourn 
And look forlorn 
Because all that shattered glass
Never got me an A in class
It only ever drew blood
Now I’m standing in the wood
Trying to catch the soul that escape 
And the red cape 
Couldn’t stop the passage of time 
And my only crime 
Was trying to pause the air
Now I look at your chair and you’re not there

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Emotionality

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I get slated for being emotional and sincere
There was that time I told you I hold you dear
And you attacked and ripped my hands
Away from your paper thin heart and the sands
Flow out of your hourglass
As you try to make a thing last
That never will 
Because time will kill
The bodies that you preserve
And the girl that you serve
Must one day kiss you for the last time
And my only crime 
Was knowing there will come a day
When one or the other of us will go away
And I can’t speak forever when I see the horizon
And I don’t know what you have your eyes on
As you stare into space
Meanwhile I just stare at your face
Looking at the grass
And time will pass
But something stays the same 
There is a love that will not lay the blame 
Not even when your dripping venom
Tries to make an enemy 
Of me
Then return to eternity
Where it can fester its wound 
I saw it all and the doom 
Ate me up from the middle 
And the best part of me may be hidden
But you can find it if you look 
You don’t have to do anything by the book 
You swear by
And I hear you cry 
In my dreams
How does a man come apart at the seams 
When you just tell him the truth
That you idolise our youth
And that time will also be the proof
Of what cannot be destroyed
We are not just girls and boys
We are immortal souls
Water though the wave rolls
And breaks onto the land 
I wonder if I take your hand 
Would you be a friend 
Coz true love will never end 

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The Tears That Flow

.Reading time 2 minutes.
The tears that flow
It’s been nearly twenty years since you let go
And people tell me to move on
But how do I ignore the space where you’re gone
A beacon of love and trust
And I know they just aren’t fussed
Coz to lose a grandmother is par for the course
Something common, like weddings and divorce
But no one told me what it would be like to have you ripped
From the fortress I had equipped 
With everything I had
So nothing bad 
Could happen 
And you were just napping
In the kitchen when Rocky lay down by the settee 
And I had had fourteen years when you showered love on me 
And I know I am closer to the grave
Than the point that could save 
You from the monsters that eat your soul 
But somehow I know that Jesus made you whole 
And the cancer spreads
I’m crying in bed
But there’s nothing I can do 
I can’t heal you
At least not yet 
But there’s something I will never forget
Like when you told me good things come to those who wait
And I trudge through the hate
Coz I know your advice is true
And there was wisdom that had its home in you
And you made rhubarb tart for us all
I take a place by the wall
But you wink at me 
And save the biggest piece and for free
You offer me the whole damn world
I’ll always be your girl 

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The Broken Record

.Reading time 1 minute.
The broken record plays the tune 
And I dance coz I’m the only one in the room 
And it’s effervescent gold
But I still do what I’m told 
When they get the whip and chain
And scream like they’re making it rain 
When they bellow at me 
But it only fans the fire sacramentally 
As I kneel in the temple of my own being 
And no one can take away what I’m seeing 
Like that boy I professed my soul to 
He told me where to go but you 
Can’t make me leave home
Even if you leave me there all alone 
It’s my house anyway
And though I’m sad that you couldn’t stay
I’m not gonna make you play
Some game that means you do what I say
If you don’t want to 
Go do you 
And go do her 
I don’t know what we were 
If the whole time 
You were living the crime
You kept from me 
And our history 
Is a greyed out, redacted document 
Kept in the file of “once heaven sent” 

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The Ocean That Sees

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Her heart shatters like glass
Like images of our past
When I am eighteen years old
Listening to the stories they’ve told
And it’s “Brothers and Sisters” on the screen 
As I try to hold onto all I had been 
All this time 
But it breaks apart everything that’s mine
And I found I couldn’t speak 
I thought it was coz I was weak 
And depressed and schizophrenic 
They told me the car just needs a mechanic 
And she gets out a wrench 
And that year I wasn’t on the bench
I was the captain of the team 
When we won on the field of dreams 
And I wrote out the speech I would make to the girls 
Before we would live like we were each other’s world 
And my sister told me not to over think it 
But we won the cup and now we drink it 
Every single time the water flows
There is something that never goes
And I’m sure they think I don’t care
Because I walked out of there
But it was just because I saw
The way that the law
Could be bent in our favour 
And I am nobody’s saviour 
But I will let the light flow through me
Like I did in the years when time was free
And we wore yellow and blue 
I don’t know if you know that you 
Mean so much to me 
Spanish for beautiful and infinity 

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The Secret Store

.Reading time 1 minute.
The secret store 
Are all the stories I kept before
I found a blank page
To hold all my rage
And people are multifaceted 
I don’t think she acted it 
When she told me to go fcuk myself 
That day in her presence
And the mark still leaves a crescent 
Shaped bite on my arm 
I never thought she would harm 
Me in that way
But that’s the price you pay
For loving the games you play
And leaving it all on the field 
The way the fortress might yield 
If I could bridge the gap 
But I never could read the map
That led to the heart of her
And I could write mountains about what we were
But am I just looking to the past 
For a mast
I can use to set sail 
And does my courage fail 
When she stares at me down the barrel of the gun 
Like she’s got a single shot and I am the one
The bullet is for 
And a closed door
Hurts more than the blood in my veins 
Pouring out of me like the rains 
Upon the ground I know 
He didn’t get it so I said it slow
But nothing caught on 
And he tells me he is gone 
But I see his shadow at the door
When he thinks the light won’t catch him anymore 

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Like A Drowning Man Needs Air

.Reading time 3 minutes.

***Trigger Warning – Mental Health***



The boat rocked when the wave shook me to my core
And I kindly showed her to the door 
When she took out the dagger and it caught the light
And I could see in the night
That she never wished me well
And it rained holy hell
On my town 
I contemplated what it would be like to drown 
In a nearby lake 
Would she come to my wake 
Like the whole community does when someone dies
Then someone’s loved one cries
And I couldn’t do that to them 
But I wouldn’t like to be back there again 
Because it was as pitch as the blackest dark 
And it left a mark 
The scar is what I cherish now 
Because the truth got to me somehow
And I don’t understand the Lord but he saved my life
And he doesn’t want me to just be a wife
And surrender and go down 
Like everyone does everywhere around
It’s like you hit thirty
And everything you thought was dirty
Suddenly looks so damn appealing 
And there were comics that I was stealing 
The day I followed a trail 
And I swore my soul was not for sale 
But I danced on the edge of a cliff
Balancing on a what if 
And it mattered to me less than naught
But what if I get caught
So I commit myself to an institution 
Maybe they can straighten out my convolution
And I’ve always had a strong constitution 
But it doesn’t hold up under this pressure
There’s nothing like a doctor to stress ya
Especially when they’ve got all the power
But I am not one to cower
So I just run to the sea
But they’re still watching me 
As I find a corner of the room 
That doesn’t sink with the sound of doom 
That echoed around that place
And I couldn’t show my face
To anyone at all 
I just remember the length of the hall
When you’re walking it alone
And they’ve taken my phone 
So I follow Sinéad and pace the route 
But they jot down that I follow suit 
And it’s all just a case study to them
And they assure me it will happen again 
If I forsake the pills
And the bending of my wills
But I’m about done with this
I’m still thinking about Jack’s kiss

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The Mute And The Foal

.Reading time 2 minutes.
It’s impossible to stay angry at you
When you flick that gaze at me 
And I swore that it would be us
For eternity
But the dials switched and changed
The atoms rearranged 
And it seemed like our history
Would stay in the past
Like me getting all those A’s in class
And they called me names
Like all I am is brains
And Deirdre, she cut me down 
Made me wanna run clear outta that town 
And she would pick away at me 
Til I had enough and infinity 
Isn’t far enough to be away from her
Even though I mourn what we were
And I know her depths go unknown
And some of them were shown 
To me too
And there were parts that were true
But the lies they perforate 
And before I know it it’s that date
Again
And men
Seem like my only salvation 
As I make x and y balance the equation 
And I thought I had struck gold
In the ground or at the end of the rainbow
You turned out to be the same as her though 
It was all shits and giggles 
But the next thing the girl wriggles
And you’re gone 
And I say so long
To all that I thought you were
Enjoy the business you have with her
I’m sure it’s mighty fine
But just don’t try to waste my time
Saying you’re my friend
When I only ever saw the end
Of what you were trying to sell
And I wish you both well
But I’m not gonna gallop that pony
And I could be wrong but you’re full of baloney

Realisation

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Will you ever know how much you mean to me
Did you know you were a dream set free
Into the open expanse
I watch the leaves dance
In the wind
And have we sinned
By leaving the door open 
You were barely coping 
When I swung in the gate
And your hate
Is rocket fuel 
Do you live the dual 
Race to the bottom
But I haven’t forgotten 
The way you just move with the breeze
And on my hands and knees
I pray to the God you were 
Before I found out you were with her

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