Tag: Poetry

The Oil Of Chrism

.Reading time 2 minutes.
How do I write the syllables of my past
How do you make a good thing last
And she screams into the wind
The teacher tells us we have sinned
Though she has battered and bruised my kin
In the name of what to do, amen
And is it just a victim of the times
Do people beat the track that rhymes
And what’s stopping me from being brutal
So I give him first refusal
On a piece of road fronted land
Just one condition: he must take my hand
And be wed
Though the bed
Is big enough for us both
And he just takes off his coat
And asks can he stay
I say; no way!
But I’d like to love you anyway
What do you say? 
He pauses to contemplate
Must I make him wait
I deliberate
It’s not like that
“But it is”
I just wanna be his
Now he has got another soul
And I’m told that their waves roll
And crash upon the shore
Have you ever wanted more
No, he defies
But I see the lies
Catch in his eyes
As he protests the point 
Would you anoint
Our child with the oil of Chrism
I try to move on but no one else is him
And though the chemistry and the sparks fly
What’s born of bodies must admit to die
In their deepest, darkest, most honest moment
It’ll leave you too, won’t it? 
He stares at the floor then back at me
It’s you and I eternity
In some twin flame fusion
And the density is bruising
When it keeps us apart
Did I ever tell you, you have my heart

Glasses And The Lens

.Reading time 2 minutes.
The control and the weariness 
As I trek down the path they mark
But I think they’re stumbling in the dark
Trying to cut a swathe 
I was a person the darkness saved 
From being a rote learned bitch
It saw me open and made the switch
Now I’m the nothingness expanse
The emptiness when it starts to dance 
And there is no way to compare
What was to what isn’t there 
And Mooji says we’re cool
And I graduated from school
With the best I could 
I swore I would leave that wood 
Behind with my peace of mind 
As Tru spoke to me and I took it to heart
There was a life which depart
And I met another pair of eyes
That looked at me with no disguise 
And he is the Heaven and Earth to me
It’s fifteen years and I let him see
That a gravity in his bones 
Walked me right out of my alones 
And she was by my side
I dunno why I thought to hide 
What was real and raw
From the viciousness of an outlaw
Who abides not in time
It’s all I can do to make it rhyme
Zippered in a tent so tight
And I wonder if we’re alright
In the place it hurts
I don’t want to make it worse
But I think you need to hear it from me
I take off my glasses and now I see

Conflicting Emotions

.Reading time 1 minute.
I love her but she stifles my pain
If you’re cold do you stand out in the rain
Just so you can get wet
There are moments I never forget
Of agony and torment
I don’t know where the power went
That used to flow in my veins 
Now it’s all tears and soaking bloodstains 
On the sheet of my bed
Do you think you could just marry me instead 
I say to the sky
In the guise of some guy
Throwing shapes at me
Is this what it means to be free 
Coz my body changed 
The atoms rearranged
With the meds I take 
I feel like a cake
About to bake
And it’s for who’s sake 
As I fight with her
Silently but it’s not for
Any reason that will do me good 
For she burned down the whole wood 
Then put the matches in my hand 
Told me to trace my heart in sand 
As the ocean encroaches 
I dunno but I didn’t vote for this

The Feathered Oasis

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
The feathered oasis of calm in my mind
When I think of the trouble I’ve left behind
Like a minute fibre in the distance
Let’s take a minute to remember resistance
As it barricades the doors and fortifies the walls 
Falls deaf to years of desperate calls 
To just be the way I am
And chasing Sam
Like a dream in the sky
Is nothing to the blue of his eye
When he smiles at me
Do I get to call free
The newfangled word
Or will I forever remain unheard

Caves And Close Shaves

.Reading time 1 minute.
I’m burning down the house I made in my mind
Leave that old cave behind
The one I used to spit and moan
And mainly just feel all alone
Coz they inoculate shame
And call you by your first name
When they want you to back down
Or go ahead and drown
In the ocean that submerge
Don’t you know it’s just a word
They used to categorise 
You so that you’re something in their eyes
And maybe they steal
But they can’t take what is real
No matter how hard they try
And I know that we all die
But I can’t stay under this roof
Where’s your evidence, where’s your proof
That I was ever anything other
Than a cloud that would smother
You with a hot heat
Thick and heavy as defeat

Top Of The Rock

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Am I gonna die if I feel this feeling
Coz I hear a voice screaming in my head
And one day I’m scared I’m gonna wake up dead
Travelling through a vortex through open space 
Why do I keep seeing his face 
And that window in my apartment on floor five
How the hell am I still alive
When all around me has withered 
And the demons veritably slithered 
Down the garden path on the way to Eden
When Eve steps on their heads is it just that she doesn’t see them
And where is Adam in all of this
Is he just lost in his first kiss
With the bride of his dreams 
Is nothing as it may seem
Coz is God the overlord
Or is he simply the spoken Word
That turns Spirit into flesh
Made the sexes and all the rest
All the animals and all the birds
All the potential in the unheard 
And in the night do you hear the call
It was a freefall 
That year I committed myself to you
It’s 2012 and I’m walking through
The doors of my mind back to you then
In all of this did I lose a friend 
Somewhere in the aftermath
And I’m not scared of wrath
By some deity
Telling me that it hates me 
In the world of the hologram 
If there is a plan 
It must be Love
Coz without It what is the above
But a sanctity we fear
I’m running with wolves and near
To the free wind
To love versus to have sinned 
Coz you’re about as bad as they get
But I can bring myself to regret 
Our cataclysm 
Is it time to heal the Great Schism

That String Came Loose

.Reading time 1 minute.
I’ll always love him
But I don’t think we’ll be together 
Because the weather
Knows me better
Than he ever could 
And I’m knocking on wood 
To find the voice
To speak to Love about the power of choice 
In these spring time days 
And there are so many ways 
You can lose a friend 
I watched the sun set and the end
Begin again so slow
How do you love what you must let go
How can a woman with child
Not crave the wild
And free she used to be 
It’s just not for me 
And no summer can contain
What just came down as rain
And I fainted with the pain
Of knowing oh too slow
That she never cared what happened to me, so
I pull the switch
And I watch the screen begin to trip
On what it holds
Oh, the immortal of our souls
Could never be bound
And the holy sound
Of freedom beckons 
What do you reckon
Do we untie the string
I loved her and I lost everything

The Long Forgiveness

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I don’t want to let go of the feeling
Because it means I must let go of you
And I don’t want to
They all teased us about each other
But sometimes you were like the brother
I never had
And it makes me sad
To think that I
Must wait until I die 
To see your visage again
I should’ve told you I could talk with pen
And write a sonnet for you
Is moving on the same as pulling through
Coz he threw those words at me
But he simply doesn’t see
That life takes care of life
And somebody’s wife
Or somebody’s son
Is warm with the waves that come from the sun
Pure photon light
Balancing between here and alright
And must I escape
A hero in a red cape
Comes to save the day
But he can’t bring back what’s gone away
And what would you say
About things like that
Love is not something that you lack
But something that pours through
Right now I’m starring in a role and you
Have dissipated 
Have I ever hated 
Life so much
To vanish what was warm to the touch
And sincere and honest
They talk about Heaven but I wouldn’t count on it
To save the day
We are born to go away
And must make hay
In the sun we know
Tell me what to do, a stór, the show
Must go on
But how do I love with you gone
How do I let a man into my heart
When it’s been broken and the part
I crave the most
Is with the Father, Son and Holy Ghost

Powerlessness

.Reading time 1 minute.
Powerlessness
You’re gone, you’re gone
And I didn’t even get to say so long
With your spiky hair
And the way you have of always being there
Are you Spirit now, do you wander through walls
Touching hearts, leave us all enthralled 
With your vagabond
And I abscond 
To elope 
Coz it’s at least a way that I can cope
With the gaping hole, the void, the void 
You were never just one of the boys
And no one has the answer
Life is the movement and you’re just the dancer
On the stage of life
I wonder if I would’ve been your wife
In the years that passed
I thought about it but I never asked 
You to my grad
Now I sit alone and I feel bad
For what we never got to be
And she
Crushes me with a glance
Another spiral, another lance
On the boil of truth
Oh, what is youth
But the sudden celebration and the demise
But it disappears when I look in your eyes
And all I can see is the expanse
I watched you and Linda dance
And felt a pang of jealousy 
Or something akin to it because we
Have a moment by the bar
And that star
Still shines for you
I survive because you want me to

Issues

.Reading time 3 minutes.
The pain reverberates around the inner wall of my sanctum
All is lost and I never thanked him
For who he was to me
They say that death is to be set free
But chains encircle and the vice, it grips
Some people escape by going on head trips
I sit in the suffer 
Coz I know you loved her
In your short time here
Your golden hair and fiery heart, my dear
Will never go to waste 
I stay chaste
And good and clean
But I only meet you in a dream
Til he walks on the scene 
And everything I love is in full colour 
The Now is here and the past is duller
But the car crash of us mimics the cry
Of the moment I learned that you die
Grasping, clawing, trying to hold on
But you are already gone
And memory
Seems to be 
The only thing you have left me 
As the vultures circle looking for some chew 
While I’m on the grass just talking to you
And he was a symbol of salvation, I held him tight
But he’s emptiness in the night
Always a little too far away
With a little too much to say
About me and you, he and I
And I’m not gonna lie
I tried to make that plaster fit
He just thinks I am a little bitch
Affection and playful but it’s not enough
I’m looking for Eternal Love
To bridge the gap
Because Death leaves behind no map
And the scrap of what I can remember 
Of the years of knowing you
Is scrawled in a diary I put pen to
But it doesn’t bring you back, I chew the cap
What if I have another relapse
And end up in the psych ward again
Because reality is not my friend
So I take refuge in fables
Keep up if you’re able
It’s a litany
Of all the liars I never got to be 
And somewhere in the sunshine I see you again
You set the gold standard of men
And you were there that year in 2007
In the blue camp and I, eleven,
In love with with your name
Life will never, ever be the same
With you gone, now there’s no one to squeeze my hand 
And smile like everything is grand 
And fun and neat
Next door neighbours, next time we meet
Will be an eon hence
My Love is never in the past tense

Not In A Million Years

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Not in a million years or any version of reality
Could life replace what you mean to me 
And I know I was mad on the phone
A passionate Aries all alone
As you fit me into the box
Of a woman in need of locks 
So I rebel, rebel 
And tell you to go to hell
Coz you don’t understand 
You’ve only ever been a man
And the status quo
Is not something I’d like to keep, so
I smash right through the walls you construct
And I don’t give any fucks 
A delectable female on the line
That only wants to make you mine
And I hear the silent pause
That doesn’t obey any laws
Or gravity
What do you think of me 
I shudder and the earth quake
I’m sitting in the room and I shake 
As I try to hold it all in
But I love, I love him
And I’m hearing voices in my head
One tells me to just go to bed
And rest and keep
The best of me for sleep
Let the softness ensue
And I remember that song came out too
That August but I felt nothing at all
Except like banging my head against the wall
And it is silent desperation as I wake at three
Think the devil is talking to me
And the lights all went out
It coincided with my doubt
So I ran to Jennai
How do I remember the name of the nurse 
That sprinkled sawdust on a golden hearse
That seems to carry my body from place to place 
While the demons just lay waste
To the life I used to know
You told me to just let go…

Fliuch Báite

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Deliver all these notes into the hands of my older self 
I don’t know who could take from them anything else
And am I just hoarding trinkets 
Blink it’s 
Gone 
And I never said so long 
But you belong 
By my side
As the grey hairs encroach
On what I love the most
And, time, it is a fickle thing
And Aoibhín said I had a broken wing
In Dean Swift in St. Pat’s
They must have been wondering what I was at
Stalking the halls like a hungry ghost
In the shape of what I love the most
And it is coast to coast
But the shackles just fall
And I drew an eye on the wall
Coz I felt it watching me 
Shared a part of my history
I was back a year later and they hadn’t ruined 
The information that just came too soon
Til a woman took a pen
And wrote words over it again and again
So they painted the colour and the mess
A shade of brown but I digress
From what I’m saying here
It’s just I feel you near
When I’m locked in a cell
By those who wish me well
And they click a pen
Write the error down again
And I can’t seem to explain
That when the sky cracked into the rain
The pane of glass came falling down
Into sheets on the ground 
And I was soaked through and through
Fliuch and staring up at you
As I scream unto the sky
Please don’t let me die
Until I make destiny mine
And I will go through it, it’s fine
As all and sundry move away
Leave me to fall into what they say
And the meanings true
I reach out but there’s no you

Fear To The Touch

.Reading time 1 minute.
You could be dead and I wouldn’t know
Does the pain start to show
As I mourn your form
So cold where it used to be warm
And I remember kissing the forehead
Of my Grandad in the coffin
It was like ice
And the shock 
Made my soul splice
Into multiple parts
How do you move with a broken heart
And the beat tries to keep you steady
But it stutters and I wasn’t ready
To commit my life to a mortal thing
Coz this bird with broken wing
Can’t fly
And you could die 
And I would shatter like a pane of glass
But somehow in the mists something last
And keeps me walking to your door 
Leaving notes for someone I adore
So he might know 
That, though it doesn’t show
I hold him close to my breast
Calamity and the rest
Can’t shake the ground I know
I watched you change and grow 
From a boy to a man
Through facebook coz I can
And it may track my every move
But I’ve nothing left to prove
Except to leave my open hands
There for the slipping sands
That are the years of us
I shake but I trust

The Light In His Eyes

.Reading time 1 minute.
I’m emo cool
Well I was in school
Though I was in the closet
Coz it wasn’t the norm was it
Til I met that guy
And, man, I could fly
With the joy of knowing such a soul
It will stay with me as I grow old
And the body will wither and die
But it can never take the blue of his eye
That catches the light from mine
In ‘00’s parlance, he was fine
Though he doesn’t know it
And, man, I throw it 
Like a wine or match
And my roof of thatch
Is burning up a storm
And we could keep each other warm
Not in a sex kind of way
But in the profundity that’s in what he say
And I count lucky stars
That prison bars 
Buckled and fell
And I wish him well
With the girl that he knows
But with me it’s anything goes 
And this love will last a life
Metaphorical man and wife
Even if we never get to be
The ocean is just the sea
By another name and form
I met you and I was born

The Horrors I Hear

.Reading time 2 minutes.

***Trigger Warning***

Tonight Samantha told a story that sent a chill down my spine 
And it was stereotypical of things that ring true to mine
It was an occasion I’d heard of before
But it was still something I abhor 
A woman just after giving birth
Crying about the way it hurt
And she’s so young, so young
Most of her peers are still having fun
And she’s here delivering a child
Does she get to keep her wild
And I think of the raw way it must feel
A viscerality that is real
And how must it be to be so weak
A vulnerability that simply speak
Mountains of what’s expected 
And all that I’ve rejected 
Til her husband appears on the scene 
He’s not something out of a dream
And she starts to scream 
No, no, stop, stop
And I see myself in shoes I will not 
Concede to wear
How bad was the tear
In the fabric true 
And, yes, I’m asking you
To reach into the store
And somehow be something more 
Coz how is woman treated this way
As if it doesn’t matter what she say
It’s gonna happen regardless 
I wonder would a shard of glass
Serrate the edge
As he puts the head
Of the matter to rest
And does his best to bury himself 
In something else 
As she cries and begs coz the pain
It’s right after a shower of rain
And he is opening the door 
Living like she is the shore 
He is bound to dock
And I wanted a rock
Not a ship with no base
Running like I’m the race
He must fight to get to
But I know it’s all about you
In the winter and in the ward
Eternity, maternity and the sword

Machinations

.Reading time 1 minute.
There is a rotary blade
Looking to make everyone its slave
And it’s such bullshit and you subscribe
To something that drains the alive 
Out of everyone you know
I’m leaving now so let me go
You cannot hold or keep
My fields of solid gold or sleep
Whereupon I enter a dawn
Where your reign is long gone
I remember a child 
Screaming the wild
Into the storm
Your cold isn’t warm
And can’t heat the coals
What do you dare think you know about soul
When all is watered down an infinity
And you think you can grin at me 
And have it all be okay
It doesn’t work that way
And your lies
Cannot disguise 
Your good heart
But I will not be a part
Of the bricks you build
I escape because it was willed

Vidsicitudes

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
The vissicitudes of control
Who do you want to enrol 
In your mental scheme
And I just want to scream
Coz you walk over my cold dead body
To get where you’re going
What are you searching for
There’s no way of knowing
But I won’t be victim to
The thread you think you’re pulling through
For the sake of a reason no one can right
You tell me but it’s all shite
And I don’t trust anymore
Not since you slammed that door
And caught my fingers in it
You know it’s wrong
But did you win it
As she and I crystal ball
I just wanna escape from it all

The First Kiss

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
The love pulses in my veins
And I can’t get enough of refrains
Even as it causes me pain
I do it again and again and again
I love too much to be let go
I love you and I hope you know
Coz it burns like a holy fire
It hurts but it takes me higher
Could this be the Spirit nothing can contain
Like clouds fail to hold the rain
When they are too full and heavy
And I was born ready
Ready for this
Could forever be my first kiss

Paddy’s Eyes

.Reading time 1 minute.
Paddy’s eyes were like stone opals 
And I wonder how he is
Did he get his woman
Did he get his wish
Coz for a while he was mine
And I can see the sparkles shine 
As they encase his face 
Not one hair was out of place 
And he had that devilish grin
And a personality that would win
You over with a smile 
I keep it on file
But the memories fade
And the bodies age 
Do you still have facial hair
And a presence that is just there
And we crossed paths in Spiral Tree
I caught you stare at me
As I wait by the bar
Oh, if I could only know what you are 
Coz you escape definition
And the early edition
Of the Longford Leader
(If you took time to read her)
Announces our notice true
What would my life look like with you
By my side, coz you’re in my heart
I watch the comet turn an arc
And come back to flame
Is it okay I used your name?

Still The Same

.Reading time 1 minute.
What is it to love men
It’s over and then it plays again
With a different pair of eyes 
It’s God in a holy disguise
And it started 2.0
In 2010 and don’t you know
I gave it my all
He bumped into me in the hall
And said “Sorry Laura” and stared
And I held the moment and cared
About a life with you
You run away but I want to
Follow you down the street
It was fate that made us meet
And I’m in high heels 
And he kneels 
With a ring to propose 
And be the one that my love chose 
He looks into me 
And I wonder what you see
Coz the moment holds
And I’ve been walking in fields of gold
Since 2005
But we’re alive
In a way I can’t explain
And I hate to try to stop the rain
Coz you know it makes us green
I wonder what we could’ve been 
If only I’d let the clasp
Break the moment that you ask
At my car door 
I couldn’t want you more 
Than I do now 
We’re still the same, somehow

Love The Sun

.Reading time 1 minute.
The diary of me
Is something you’ll never see
Cos you scribbled on the page
And hit me with your rage
Fed me slowly piece by piece
To the war I cannot make cease
And she strides in with her tide
Tells me I’m alive
And what she would do to make it more so
But I just want her to let it go
Coz it’s brutality 
Though she never see
Exactly what she does to me 
In the name of love
Or at least the kind she’s thinking of 
Obedient to a fault
And I got locked inside the vault
With only T for company
And they expect me to abandon at a flaw
The heat that made the ice thaw
In the winter of my life
I love the sun, I hope that’s alright

The Fleeting Pull

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
The fleeting pull
of the cataclysmic 
Beckons me with all its might
And I feel set alight
By a passion I can barely contain
Oh, let the rain
In all the might, it pours
And, he, the one my heart adores
Just strides into a room
As it is pouring doom
And announces 
What the will of all thing denounces
That there is life in the old dog yet
I work the bog and I forget
What all this rendering timber will do
In a hundred lifetimes I’d still choose you

A Sea That Is Whole

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
There’s a heavy weight that hangs between us
Like the bow of a ship about to turn
And we’re living in a world
That burn and burn and burn
As we’re watching with our candlelight
Hoping everything will be alright 
But the torrent is air
And we don’t have a prayer
Against these heavy winds
Let him throw the first stone
He who has not sinned
Coz in this Paradise
It’s not enough to merely be nice
You have to be true
That’s why I’m talking to all of you
And singing my soul
The dream to be
A sea that is whole

Inner Child

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
The riveting pain holds me to the spot
Like childhood trauma that time forgot
And how do I take care of that inner one
Somebody’s daughter or somebody’s son
Floundering, drowning, trying to stay afloat
Then suddenly Jesus is on the edge of the boat
Pulling me in
Putting my faith and trust in him

Rattlesnake

.Reading time 1 minute.
There is a rattlesnake at my door
It whispers eclipse and a little bit more 
As I run for my life
But the rope is of being a wife
And I could have that scene I wanted to
Today's the first time I thought about you
In that way
And I say
It always comes with some sort of dread
But somehow I'm not thinking of your bed
Just your sullen eyes
And the way they barely disguise 
The heart within
Could I touch your sin
And heal you of your pain
If I make the water fall like the softest rain
Come to touch your skin
You don't remind me of him
Yet something's the same 
And your name 
Plays on repeat
I'm still on my feet
When I'm talking to you
Not knocked to the side like the thread's pulling through
To stitch a whole scene
It's just this moment and it's not a dream 
To say you're a really nice dude 
And you kinda exude
A warmth and a heart
And I would love to be a part
Of your friendship zone
I just want you to know you're not alone

Her Due Is Worth

.Reading time 1 minute.
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How do I pay her her due
Coz she was there when I needed you
In the young years of being misunderstood
She was like an atlas in this wood
Like a compass, like a dial
The queen of making someone smile
And hard times hit her and I tried to defend
But what can you say to your best friend
When you see the cascade at the mouth
Of the ocean you have come to doubt
In your seafaring ways
They were the worst of days
But they were also the best
Because we were like none of the rest
In our individual stance
And I just wanna dance
And know that she does too
I wish she knew how I felt about you 
Coz I feel sure she'd take action
And I speak your name like an infraction
Coz you're tied to another extreme
And wanting you would realise every dream 
I've ever had 
And I know I made you mad 
With my defiant stare
But I am there 
Or should I say here
The earth quakes when you are near
But she taught me of the eternal rock 
The one that's steady when you are not 
And I know we're just a ship that's sailed
But something within us has never failed
To meet the tide at it's best
I love her, and I forget the rest

Famous Someday

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I'll be famous someday
The girl whispered to the screen
As she watched the mountains
Live their dream 
And she caught every droplet
That fell from the sky as rain
Chalked it up to the cross
When she felt the pain
Of living the life she knows on the ground
You hit me hard and I didn't make a sound
And I just fell like a tree in the forest
Does all of the silence mean that you're honest
And she wrote me a letter
And I know I can do better
Than to live in the suffer
Finally admit that I do love her
In spite of the wolves that came to my door
When she blamed the earth on what I adore
Told me I was perfect, then took a swipe
I walked the floor in the dead of night
And it just awoke 
We haven't spoke
In so many years
And you are the queen of tears 
That set the brigade to run
And pull the thread that makes the fabric undone
And I saw you see me that time that I cried
And I put an embargo on emotions that died
When the glass was cracked
It's like the moment you can't go back 
And forgiveness rules my soul 
But you were the one who fractured the bowl
And I shatter with all the splintered pieces
But there is a moment when the night ceases
And the sun breaks through
And it tells me what I'm supposed to do
In the summer of life
"You will be his wife
In some way, shape or form 
You will repair skies that are torn
And find your true calling here
There is something watching over you, dear"
And I grasp and I cling
But this thing is like a sling
And holds me where it hurts
So that I do not make it worse 
"Let the pain go
Let the rain show
And when you're done
Then, maybe, you'll know"

The Secret Storm

.Reading time 2 minutes.
"I've been keeping the secret storm
In a place where my heart is warm 
And I spilled the story on your page
And you are afraid of female rage
As I shout down the line
Why do I have to say this a thousand times
"I just want you to understand 
Why won't you just be my man"
But you check out and run
Close the door like the whole thing is done
Drop the phone like it's a hot potato
And I still remember what you said about Tayto
And it wasn't funny but I laughed
And I was ready to do what you asked
And it scared me that all I valued fell
When you asked me if I was well
I just want to live up to your measure
You are something that I treasure
And the memory is enough to keep the wheel going
But is it a cog, there's no way of knowing
Coz the clock is running down 
Only so much time in life on the ground
As we try to make the most of what we're given 
And you look at me like you're the unforgiven 
But I love you more than I can contain
You are pure and undecided as rain
That just pours from the sky
You leaned into my shoulder and I can't tell you why
I let you rest there
Then turn around like I don't care
Except to say I was scared as hell
And I still am though I wish you well
And you've made a whole world away from me 
And I should be glad that you are free
But I just sit in bitter repose
And wonder why I chose
To let you slip through the cracks
The long and the short of it is I want you back

Coz You Loved Taylor Swift

.Reading time 1 minute.
You said hello
Then okay bye
And there's something about your soul 
That makes me want to cry
Coz you're perfect, you're sincere
But you falter the web when I come near
And you're soft to the touch
And you're easy, then strong
And you look at me like I
Could do no wrong
But I snuck a peak
Into the deepest part of you
And I let you in 
Coz you wanted me to
And all of the fabrications can't make this a lie
That we both wake up when the life tries to die
On us in this subterfuge
Do you take refuge
In her sudden storm
Does she do more than keep the bed warm 
And I ain't jealous, I'm just missing out
And you kind of hit the nail on the head of my doubt
When you said "tell your folks"
This couldn't be one of your jokes
That you just play on me
You're withering and it takes time to see
That the cavalcade is just there to test
And I am not bigger and brighter than the rest
I'm just the puzzle piece to your thaw
And you run the scene like you're an outlaw
As we both find solace in what can't be contained
A sky full of clouds and then it rained

Over Sized T-Shirt

.Reading time 1 minute.
Hiding out in an oversized t-shirt
Coz the wolves know my name
They root me out, they boo and shout
And they try to drown the shame
That keeps my ship afloat
But it is just a friendly boat
Surfing the tide
And I am alive
I don't know if you know
I can feel the way you don't let go
Of your hold on me
Like the gold is free
And institutions know the way
But I guess it's like what they all say
You can't know it til you've tried it
And I only hide it
In my summer clothes
But I'm wearing it well and God knows
That the winter won't last forever
And every beginning was once an endeavour
That shot to the heart
Stop telling me to make art, make art
When I am a living breathing movement of creation
I love to learn but my education
Only taught me how to be the best
So I let it go and the rest
Is history as they say
And there's something that doesn't go away
In all the withering stares
And the vacant who cares
That seem to fall from the lips of man
I live my best life coz I can

The Power And The Fault

.Reading time 1 minute.
The power surges through the line
And the fuse blows
It's my circuitry 
And God knows
I've done all I can 
To keep the ship steady
Wait for the moment 
When I am ready
But I am pushed out, out
Beyond my cave of fear
And my web of doubt
Be Present, shine
And when you do, reflect some of mine
I searched tomes
And stayed home
For fear of my awesome strength
Then wonder at weakness and where it all went
When the wind blew in a storm
And I wondered why it wasn't warm 
As the lightning cracked
And the thunder wondered why you can't take it back
Once the lesson is learned 
And the bridge has been burned
And cured of all its rope
When do you begin to hope
When the crush is all that you know
And people you love won't let you go
To lead your own life
Only visions of derision and being a wife
To some also ran 
Because I can
Can simply not
See the weather that time forgot
In it's oceanic hue 
It wasn't right but I still choose you

The Wintering

.Reading time 1 minute.
The wintering held my hand for a time or two
I couldn't stand up so I just blamed you
For falling at my feet
Oh, how the chasm meet
Each side of a cliff
And a what if
When the water rises
Does it lift all boats, she surmises
And wonders herself into an avenue 
Oh, the colour red and it's incendiary blue
Are we either shade
And do the bandits raid
When you are not at home
Lock the door, carry your phone
The people say
But I just get carried away
With all of my notions
And my emotions
Are seasonal stares
Do I just sell my wares
On Dawson Street, to the highest bidder
I, like the bird on the branch, don't know how to wither
Just take a death plunge
Then pull up at the end so that the lunge
Makes my stomach drop
And all that I am not
Seems to echo a refrain
I found a way out of the pain
And I want to share it with you
So that we can ripple individually too
Into the whole sea
And every wave is part destiny
You cannot separate out
The moment of truth from the moment of doubt
As it all interweaves
The love of all things is up your sleeve

Effortless

.Reading time 1 minute.
I guess I was wrong
I was so hypocritical 
I never stood up for you
Antithetical
And the movement was counter
To the culture you know
So GAA in your face 
To hammer the blow
Home like you never knew   
But I loved you
And your depression reeks
Of the mountain you never speak
And I know you have something
In you to say
I can feel it when 
You look at me that way
And the colours are shining
And you’re full of pride
There’s a part of my life
That I always hide
From the well wishers from walls
Sick of getting these cold calls
From a foreign air
It’s as though I’m about to go spare
Running a race I’ll never win
If I agree will you let me in
But is that just bad form
When there’s a part of my heart warm
From the joy of just meeting you
I went along with it coz you wanted me to

Why Do I Feel This Pain?

.Reading time 1 minute.
Why do I feel this pain
It’s like all of summer is making it rain
Do I lean into for all that I’m worth
Why does everything like this hurt
Coz I’m dismissed
Do I exist
And if I do is it in the mist
Or the spring of time
Is the answer only to rhyme
The moment down
Coz a white gown
Is less is more
And I forsake all I adore 
And let go all that’s set in store
And the quiet hold
Everything is solid gold 
In the meaning truth
I try to find my lost youth
In the pillars of sin
I loved him so I let him in
Then knocked him out
Pushed him away with all my self doubt
Now I’m tormented true
Because I can never have you
Coz you’re with her 
And even if you weren’t, we’re not what we were
Sitting on a bus
Holding the memory like broken trust
As I search to find 
The number 10 I left behind 
I head into the city
Waiting for the trauma to hit me
As I run for fear
It’s been so long since you were near
And my heart felt peace
They look at curtains when they cease
To pull the scene 
Were you and I just a dream

Commitmentphobe

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Committmentphobe
I don’t know, do you suppose
I could just put this on pause
Am I breaking any laws
To say that I’m not sure that we
Have anything left to be
And you smile, gentle and deft
And I swear it’s a kind of theft
To steal into my heart like that
To the point I say hi back
And acknowledge every greeting
Shur isn’t it grand, we’re only meeting
On some kind of upper floor
And you know who I adore
In spite of all of his flaws
In the spring the ice thaws
And the daffodil will grow
Like all of life does, you know

Motionary

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Is it that there’s too much to say
Or not enough 
Coz you’ve got to know
I’ve always cared for you, love
And there’s a distance between us
Or a depth we can’t dive
We breathe in the air
Just to survive
And the cogs they turn
In the wheels of our life
It’s like a winter’s morning
With a new bite
In the air 
That you can just taste
Oh, what in the world 
Did you create?

Composition

.Reading time 1 minute.
Staying up all night writing rhymes
Just get a damn job
But I’ve got inspired
And I would only rob
Future generations of all their freedom
I know this is good but will anyone see them
To be Amadeus out on the line
I’ve got to get it down like the thousandth time
As it rattles in my head like an old guitar
I scribble my life down at the bar
As the summer is storming and the winter is cold
And I’ve got global warming to face as I grow old 
And we’re all just sheets of paper from the end
But we’ve got our lives left to pretend
That we’re not these vessels and we can’t contain 
An ocean’s worth of indefatigable pain
As I see in you what I feel in me
We’ve both got our roots in Eternity

A Race I Can’t Pursue

.Reading time 1 minute.
Trying to keep up to a race I can’t pursue 
It’s like trying to win the attention of you
And you just turn away, a shoulder to glance
And I am there begging for another chance
To be who I am in your company
But you know we’re just friends, it’s not eternity
And I promised you silver and I promised you gold
Promised together in the growing old
But now it’s as though a chasm has opened
Do you hear me at all or am I just hoping
As I see you though the gaps in my hands
Fingers clasped over eyes that understand 
The motion of trees
That we wouldn’t work, would you believe
In all that turns out to be true
If you rely on the weather, it just changes you
And I can’t cut the grass on the field that you own
Can’t win me over once the game is thrown
Into the midnight and out with the day
I’m kind of conflicted about us, okay?

Wary Gaze

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
There is an underbelly 
And it’s not spoken about on the telly 
But it’s there and all
Mystified by the way it enthrall
And everyone is on their phone
Clicking feed to go back home 
But can they find what they’re looking for
And I’m just reminded of what we were
When we were on a Facebook scene
And they tell me it was just a dream
Or an obsession
As I’m forced into a confession
That I watched you there
And you think that I don’t care 
When I run and hide
But I confide 
In you that I must run
I jump at the sound of the gun
Telling me to set off
I can’t catalogue all that I’ve lost

Everest

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Her pain is a mountain
That I can’t scale 
Like many on Everest
I’m born to fail
But I keep coming back
To her heavenly light
Whispers in the morning
You’ll be alright
And we grow up
Dust ourselves off
But we’ve still got 
That persistent cough
That hints at something
Underneath
She lowers a blow
Knocks me off my feet
And I know 
She don’t mean it
But did I 
Dream it
That we once were something true
Until I disappointed you
By being myself 
In a garden of verdant wealth
All to blossom and free
Sorry but, babe, you’re gnawing at me

Iron Will

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
She rules with an iron fist
Punch drunk love, did you think you missed
When you hit me with a stone
You talk and I feel alone
As the time passes by
Did you want me to cry
When you hammered and nail
And my courage starts to fail
As I follow the line
Beaten to it a thousand time

Midwifery

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
I’ve done the math, like, a thousand times 
And it told me I can’t find it in any of my rhymes 
But it’s still pushes me to let the words go
Some kind of childbirth I’ll never know 
As we go into the throws of labour
Could you do me a favor 
And stop throwing empty words
Against the wall of already been heard
And it’s a tired tale
Told by those who are up for sale 
But I’m not one to barter a trade
Throwing light in the shade 
That protects your skin
Do you think I should let him in?

Sexy Motherfucker

.Reading time 1 minute.
Sexy motherfucker up on the stage
I put pen to paper and ruin the page
With all that I yearn for in the night
You’re one kind of trauma I don’t have to fight
As you sing with your heart and soul
And I feel the ache in the place I am not whole 
In the summer of a winter’s glen
Will this happen to me again 
If I don’t swim in ocean water
Trying to be a good daughter
And adhere to the lines 
If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times 
Skiing down the hill
Against the force of the brutal will
That seems to hold us all at bay
And it is not okay
Just to swim in that sea
Is it that you’re talking to me
When you commit me to a room
And I become familiar with the realm of doom
As it beats on my door 
Telling me it wants me more 
Than any earthly thing could contain
The paint is stripped by acid rain 
As it pours down in sheets 
The car is ruined and the sheep bleets

The Battering Ram

.Reading time 1 minute.
The battering ram taps at my door
It knocks me down just a little bit more
And it’s been this way since seven years old
Or as long as the story’s been told 
As I stared into chasming heights
Be the hero that love ignites
In superfluous form
The heat that keeps the body warm
As they try to contain
The way I burst out of pain
And they barked a reply
Because they fear what’s gonna die
But I left those chains behind 
With my peace of mind
As I settled for what they say
But it’s not okay
To just be half a soul
The surfer falls when the waves roll
If they are not steady strong
The balance in the place where they went wrong 
And I tumbled from the heights
Got stressed by the nights 
I woke to a storm
Is it just the world of form
That knocks me outta place
I’m done with the way I save face
Just to protect the lie
I am not afraid to die
Or stand up to the Beast
That seems to have a feast
At my expense 
But all that is in the past tense
When you look at the Now 
I woke up to It somehow

Checking Out

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
One web in the tapestry of life
They all think I’m gonna be a wife
And bed down in a house
Learn to be as quiet as a mouse
When the sea rages inside 
But it’s not something I’m gonna hide 
Coz the flow is taking me 
Somewhere where I can be free
And learn to live in true surrender
Not the mangled mess that they dismember 
With their words and phrases 
It’s the sky that it raises

The Golden Hearse

.Reading time 1 minute.
The axe chopped down the tree
And, the wood, it was me
As I fell from on high
Hard, for some guy
And he brushes me off
But I sense a depth
I get the feeling
He regrets
Letting us go
But, then again, what do I know
And I used to blaze a trail
Til I found his and without fail
I used to follow, breadcrumb sweet
The pebbles led me to where we meet
But there is no way back
And I didn’t mean to attack
I was just vociferously 
Defending the best of me
As you tried to tear me down
But you didn’t see the crown
On the king
The bird can fly with a broken wing
But it’s stuttered and weak
You kind of leave me speechless and meek
As you gently assume the worst
The best dress to the golden hearse

The Devil’s Advocate

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
I relate more than I let on
The moment when it is all gone
And the devil is the only friend you know
When you love God and he lets you go
And I fell into an abyss 
I felt the sensation of a death kiss
Planted on my lips
Is it a full moon or an eclipse 
Coz the light is strange
And drinking coke will rot your brain 
If you let it get to you
Love will break the heart you knew 
And I reached out to clasp
But it bit me, the fuckin’ asp
In Cleopatra’s hair
I can’t say I’m glad that you were there
But I’m glad that we met
A lightning strike you can’t forget

Chasing Tail

.Reading time 1 minute.
What’s a race, who’s gonna win
When you’re chasing yourself up and down the hill
And your tail is something you’ll never catch
But you loved her so you left it on the latch
As she storms and she rages
And a thousand pages
Couldn’t capture the mystery you are
We are all born from a star
That grows the grass and warms the sky
What’s never born can never die 
And midnights just mark the dawn
What’s not there is never gone
Only discovered afresh, anew
I was in school when I met you
One day on the grass
And the feeling pass
But the longing, it leaves
Trails to disbelieve 
And wind up on your sleeve
After you sweetly deceive 
Me with that arc
You made your bed, I lie in the park
Just praying for the sky to rain
Or the feeling to come back again 
With somebody new
You didn’t know I cared about you

Epiphany

.Reading time 1 minute.
I don’t know if it’s the meds or the enlightenment 
But I’m feeling detached
And it’s the kinda road there’s no way back
And I’m just standing in the queue
And the one I’m waiting for is you
And he’s singing his soul and I wish he was mine
Why do I do this all of the time 
Coz it’s impossible, he’s on the stage
And the girls are screaming like he’s all the rage 
And his hair is long and his locks are pretty
And I would love to rule this city
But he’s a triad long past going
I remember UCD when it was snowing
And the boy I loved back then
The fittest male on repeat again
As my heart tells me to be who I am
Like Kilglass chasing Sam 
For the thousandth time
I make my own pain rhyme
And it is longing and it is desire 
He sets my soul on fire 
With his softly so
There are deserts that I would go
Just to meet him at the gate
I dunno why I wait
For the perfect scene 
Like it could be in a dream
Like I made of you
But the urge is pulling the needle through 
And it’s sewing a seam
Threading a quilt with what’s spilt, it seems 
And the love’s in the wanting
But there’s something in me that’s haunting 
Every step I take 
It’s what happens when the demon wake

Wrinkles

.Reading time 1 minute.
I wanna get wrinkles with you
And you know what I gotta do
I gotta confess to all I’ve been feeling
And let you know the heart you’re stealing
Coz in the growing old
There are so many stories to be told
And I kind of found myself 
Taking that old book down off of the shelf 
As I memorize
Your hello, your goodbyes
As you let me know what’s important to you
And I just want you to know I love you too
And if we are on the same page
I’d like to salute you as we age
And I know you’re afraid and nod to me
I want to be the river set free
Rushing out towards the sea
I will love you eternally