Tag: poet

Human Again

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I feel like human again now there’s a chink in the chain 
And you know you’re from Ireland if you trust the rain 
To always fall
There used to be a Berlin Wall
To separate the East from West
Like they separate me from the one who knows me best
And they trap me in a cage 
So I let it rage on a page
All the good they ever did
Was just to confirm that I’m His
Am I crazy
Do I let it faze me 
Or just let it raise me 
From the dead
And I lay in my bed
In Dean Swift 
And Emmett said whisht
Don’t worry your little head 
And he all but winked at me instead 
As I lay there and just stared 
But I dared 
To cross a line 
That was so fine
As a pen with a nib
Can I ad lib 
And find a quote 
That I could float 
Did you know that I wished 
You were not a star that I missed
As I shoot past your gate 
And I may have learned to hate
The gatekeepers at the door
But you’re something I adore 
And the fallaway floor
Let’s me out again 
I call it men
But really it’s human kind 
And women want equality
But it’s revenge that’s on my mind 
For the guy that took me down 
And now it’s an ocean that I drown 
In my wide open air 
Is there any proof that I was there 
When the final crack of the whip 
Split my lip 
And I bleed words into the abyss
Why do I still miss
Someone who did that to me 
And if you’re chained to the sky are you free
Like Dylan says 
I’m not sure anyone is listening anyways

It’s The Little Things

.Reading time 1 minute.
It’s the little things
Like wedding rings
And fire that ignite
And I hear that you like
What you see
And when the person is me
I blush and then sigh
And I don’t say goodbye
To you again
Coz I’ve made my peace with the notion of men
How you can’t show affection
Without them wanting to add you to their collection
Of dolls sitting on the wall
But that isn’t me at all
Except when I’m walking by the rows
And the feeling shows 
As I smirk 
And I didn’t think that this would work
But it does 
And the story starts because
I let you in the door
When I’m walking on the ground floor
Of the building grey
But the door unlocks when you say
Hello to me
I didn’t think that I would be
Clutching at straws at thirty three

Didn’t See That One Coming!

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Did you not notice you already buried me 
I say to her as she sets me free 
Of her bullet strung chain 
That she shakes around herself in vain 
Because I’m like the white horse that’s gotten away 
And there’s nothing she can say 
That will hold me there now 
And somehow 
I know this will be the last time her oppression 
Tries to elicit a confession 
From my lips 
And I always liked eclipse 
But the thread is always there to fray
And its like what you say
I already know 
That’s why I’m letting you go

Image Credit: https://pin.it/674v6Qs1w

Childhood Haunts

.Reading time 2 minutes.
There are childhood haunts 
They rise up and grip 
And I am myself when I let the mask slip 
Like Keyz and I playing Freespace
And all the years that went to waste 
Just soaking in the sun 
When I met the man I love I run 
And I don’t know why that is 
Because I’ve always been his 
And if I could only explain to her
What we were 
I think she could understand 
It wasn’t like I had anything planned
I just know what soul speaks 
And I count the years, months and weeks 
Since we’ve last talked
Since you walked 
And the demons sat on the edge of my consciousness 
The doctor said I was “in distress”
But he doesn’t know jack 
And I want my freedom back 
The freedom to feel, to wreak havoc or hell
Without people telling me I’m unwell 
As they submerge what’s only tide
And try to kill what is alive
In me
But I’ll always be 
This girl of colour and plunging dark 
It’s from the night where rises the spark 
And it visits me again and again 
One day it’s a bird, next it’s men 
And then 
I realise I won’t settle 
Thorny as a rose and stinging like a nettle 
But somehow singing like a kettle 
When you put me on boil 
Or is that just what it is to be a Coyle 

Image Credit: https://pin.it/7tHjXUYqi

The Silent Whisper Of Grace

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I thought God could only ever be found
In the complete absence of sound 
In the silence that descends 
On my room as the riverbends
From lavender to primrose and flame 
And I wake up from my name 
And it all seems so perfect, true
Til I met you
And it all cascaded down
You wanted to run my town 
So you could have a girl in the wings
And, my, you love the way she sings 
But you don’t understand her
And you demand her
To be as you would please
Up on her tiptoes or down on her knees
But neither one will ever be me
So I let you go free
Though I love you with all of my heart
I won’t make pain just to make art
Or love
Or fit like a glove
Into a biological cog
I dream of a fire burning a log
While we lie on the rug before it
And you know I would adore it
A blanket made just for two 
But it never was me and you
We spit fire into each other’s veins
And in the aftermath cleaned up the bloodstains
On the carpet where we fought
It was in darkness that the ring was wrought 
And cascaded into eternity
You asked me to burn with thee 
But I let go that crime 
And am absorbed into the sublime 
And even if they don’t get me here 
It doesn’t mean I’ll run to you dear 
If you make a fool of me 
When I just wanted life school and mystery 
To encompass all we were
I dropped the glass when I saw her
And it broke and shattered on the floor
You don’t even hide that you adore
Another pair of eyes
And my trust in you dies 
Slowly but surely in the awe 
That you could begin the Great Thaw

Image Credit: https://pin.it/3P8G3C9W7

Pinprick

.Reading time 1 minute.
She makes a pinprick to draw blood
Just to see if she could
To see if I’m still real
If I’m alive, if I feel
And it’ll heal
But I remember the shark in her eyes
When she met me that day in the car
So far away from where you are
Looking at your ship go out
Before I was submerged in my own self doubt
As it washes to shore
And I couldn’t have loved you more
But it wasn’t enough
Coz when times got tough
All the pencils failed me and broke
And I could feel my breath start to choke
On the words I spit out at you
Coz you don’t love me too
Or so they say or so she says
Coz she’s familiar with your ways
In real life
I’m just the wife
Who is too close to see
In her eyes that all he wants is me
Submerged in the subterranean wildflower bloom
And I’d know if he was in the room
Coz electricity flows from his pulse
I describe it and she revulse 
At the thought he could shock me awake
I gave it up for your sake

The Cracking Seam

.Reading time 1 minute.
I don’t wanna be your whore
Like she did in the time before
And she’d buy anything you sell
Plies you with whiskey so you might tell
Her you love her so
But there are places you won’t go
Even for a trinket she’d offer
All you want is to suffer
Wholeheartedly
And rather smartly
You hold your hand out to me
We dance and it is free
And I wonder what it feels like to know she’s only there
Because you’re willing to pay your share
Of the coin
But you can’t solder what you want to join
Together in sweet surrender
I know you remember
Coz how could you forget
And it’s there for you yet
If you want to taste the apple that grows on the tree
You know you shouldn’t but you ask me
What it feels like to be
Still young and free
And I say it’s like sleeping outside your door
Waiting for the one you adore
To realise he loves you more
Than his story on the second floor

The Ribbons And The Dress

.Reading time 1 minute.
Darling, be true, be true to me
Coz the ribbon you’re pullin is setting me free
And it’s as though the waves of you reach the shore
And I’m always hoping for a little bit more
Coz the rivers they play on the blue of the wall
I thought I was through it but I wasn’t at all
And the knives and valleys follow me round
But if a tree falls do you hear the sound
In a forest that is both deep and green
You make your way out like it is a scene
On a movie set and the script
Is one of adventure for which you’re equipped
And I may be strange and you may be weird
I don’t think I’ve seen anyone with the same kind of beard
But you just throw the light in magnificent shapes
And you’ve got the kind of wings with which I could escape
If you’d be willing to bear my weight
Like the tide go with all of the hate
And let the sea clear what’s never been known
Would you love my true colours if I let them be shown

Light And Life

.Reading time 1 minute.
I have to love the man who saved my life
He took a breath and breathed in the light
And it’s textbook case, wanna be a wife
But I don’t know if that’s alright
Coz he showed me summer
He showed me seasons
He gave me love
I gave him reasons
And we both learned to multiply
And, you know, never say die
As the ache it comes in waves
He’s Superman, it’s days he saves
And I can’t ignite with anyone else
He showed me trauma and mental health
And I showed him strong and how to bear
The music when the fabric tear
And it’s oft the season to be making waves
I’ve written him down on page upon page
But I never come close to really say
He is my love, is that okay
Even if we are miles apart
He made the unquenchable start
Like the Divine made into form
I’m kept ‘neath a coat that is warm
Even on those freezing winter nights
He speaks a word and my heart ignites
To burn enough to keep the dark away
From the place by the trees where we stay

Her Complicity

.Reading time 1 minute.
She was there when you weren’t
I had to get by
On crutches 
So I wouldn’t die
And the battering winds 
Shook the shutters 
Wooden and thin
Til I stumbled upon the dream of him
Somewhere on a reading scene 
It was like something woke the dream
Up from where it was in bed 
I found myself instead
And I had a flame so red 
Looking into my eyes 
But I couldn’t hide the disguise 
That just erupted 
Have I fucked it up
Coz I know I still think of you
And his trail of blue 
How do I decide 
Which one I choose to tell lies 
Like I could be bound in matrimony 
But it just starts to feel a little phoney 
Coz I could never be tied by a ring
That follows me round like a golden string

Sora And Kairi

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
I liked them because you
Let the melody issue forth from you
And I thought of Sora and Kairi being separated 
As we both were educated 
In separate fields 
And then the city yields 
And gives way
Because I have something to say
To you
It’s something like I love you too

In The Mists

.Reading time 1 minute.
I took the exit door
And the fallaway floor 
Met me with open arms 
Does it ring any alarms
Or bells within you
Does it resound 
And do you know the sound 
Of home when the wind chimes 
Whisper silver on the rhymes 
That just come to you
And it’s not because I wanted to
That I write 
Put pen to paper and, alright,
There is an acquiescence
But it’s not the essence 
Of what I need to know 
It asks me so I let it flow 
Into words and ink
A digital way to think
Of who you are 
And every star
Burns with the same fusion
We call it light but the delusion 
Is that we know what exists 
But it’s all just time and space in the mists

Benjamin’s Blues

.Reading time 1 minute.
The mountain sure seemed high til I climbed it
They’d tell you why but I wouldn’t mind it
And I just kick out from the shore 
I couldn’t tell you which I loved more 
The going away or the coming back
Do you really know something til you’ve felt it’s lack
And I was wandering in a cavalcade 
When I just happened upon your shade 
And it let me in 
I was warm when I was with him
As we both pause at the same time 
And he questions my rhyme 
I say it’s funny and he laughs 
I let him in because he asks 
So genially and off the cuff
Five minutes in and I know love 
Has me by the lapel 
But I think it’s too soon to tell
Him what I have on sheets 
Under cover and the streets 
Reminded me of the time I was tripping 
I hold the frame but the picture’s slipping 
And the more I try to steady the ship
The more I can sense an eclipse 
Coming on 
Now the reference is gone 
And I’m trying to even keel 
But the way I feel 
Just tells me to be honest
But I wouldn’t count on it 
And Benjamin is a sure shade of blue
I let it go and I trusted you

Seven Oceans

.Reading time 1 minute.
Seven oceans couldn’t keep me away from you
Even as fine as the morning dew
Is, you are subtler still
And it takes a tremendous display of will
To turn my head from you
And it’s not because I wanted to
It’s just this vacuum opens up
And I’m not too sure if it is love
Just some dark oblivion 
Moving to the music of us getting it on
And I’m a magnitude that shakes your sphere 
And there’s a devil may care when you are near
As though you’ve just thrown it over your shoulder 
Near the Colorado river southwest of Boulder 
And I might have allowed 
The fertile land the machinery ploughed 
To bloom green again anew
Because I have been avoiding you
In all the midnights I collected 
And the buildings you erected
Will fall in a storm
I know she keeps your body warm
On cold nights when the wind whistles
And your thoughts are as sharp as thistles 
That you roll onto in your sleep
It’s a promise that you keep
To the girl you’ve wed 
That you will have no one else instead
But I could never agree
It’s simply not me 
To annul the population
For an education 
In solitary and alone
With a man you call home

The Oil Of Chrism

.Reading time 2 minutes.
How do I write the syllables of my past
How do you make a good thing last
And she screams into the wind
The teacher tells us we have sinned
Though she has battered and bruised my kin
In the name of what to do, amen
And is it just a victim of the times
Do people beat the track that rhymes
And what’s stopping me from being brutal
So I give him first refusal
On a piece of road fronted land
Just one condition: he must take my hand
And be wed
Though the bed
Is big enough for us both
And he just takes off his coat
And asks can he stay
I say; no way!
But I’d like to love you anyway
What do you say? 
He pauses to contemplate
Must I make him wait
I deliberate
It’s not like that
“But it is”
I just wanna be his
Now he has got another soul
And I’m told that their waves roll
And crash upon the shore
Have you ever wanted more
No, he defies
But I see the lies
Catch in his eyes
As he protests the point 
Would you anoint
Our child with the oil of Chrism
I try to move on but no one else is him
And though the chemistry and the sparks fly
What’s born of bodies must admit to die
In their deepest, darkest, most honest moment
It’ll leave you too, won’t it? 
He stares at the floor then back at me
It’s you and I eternity
In some twin flame fusion
And the density is bruising
When it keeps us apart
Did I ever tell you, you have my heart

Conflicting Emotions

.Reading time 1 minute.
I love her but she stifles my pain
If you’re cold do you stand out in the rain
Just so you can get wet
There are moments I never forget
Of agony and torment
I don’t know where the power went
That used to flow in my veins 
Now it’s all tears and soaking bloodstains 
On the sheet of my bed
Do you think you could just marry me instead 
I say to the sky
In the guise of some guy
Throwing shapes at me
Is this what it means to be free 
Coz my body changed 
The atoms rearranged
With the meds I take 
I feel like a cake
About to bake
And it’s for who’s sake 
As I fight with her
Silently but it’s not for
Any reason that will do me good 
For she burned down the whole wood 
Then put the matches in my hand 
Told me to trace my heart in sand 
As the ocean encroaches 
I dunno but I didn’t vote for this

The Feathered Oasis

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
The feathered oasis of calm in my mind
When I think of the trouble I’ve left behind
Like a minute fibre in the distance
Let’s take a minute to remember resistance
As it barricades the doors and fortifies the walls 
Falls deaf to years of desperate calls 
To just be the way I am
And chasing Sam
Like a dream in the sky
Is nothing to the blue of his eye
When he smiles at me
Do I get to call free
The newfangled word
Or will I forever remain unheard

Caves And Close Shaves

.Reading time 1 minute.
I’m burning down the house I made in my mind
Leave that old cave behind
The one I used to spit and moan
And mainly just feel all alone
Coz they inoculate shame
And call you by your first name
When they want you to back down
Or go ahead and drown
In the ocean that submerge
Don’t you know it’s just a word
They used to categorise 
You so that you’re something in their eyes
And maybe they steal
But they can’t take what is real
No matter how hard they try
And I know that we all die
But I can’t stay under this roof
Where’s your evidence, where’s your proof
That I was ever anything other
Than a cloud that would smother
You with a hot heat
Thick and heavy as defeat

Top Of The Rock

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Am I gonna die if I feel this feeling
Coz I hear a voice screaming in my head
And one day I’m scared I’m gonna wake up dead
Travelling through a vortex through open space 
Why do I keep seeing his face 
And that window in my apartment on floor five
How the hell am I still alive
When all around me has withered 
And the demons veritably slithered 
Down the garden path on the way to Eden
When Eve steps on their heads is it just that she doesn’t see them
And where is Adam in all of this
Is he just lost in his first kiss
With the bride of his dreams 
Is nothing as it may seem
Coz is God the overlord
Or is he simply the spoken Word
That turns Spirit into flesh
Made the sexes and all the rest
All the animals and all the birds
All the potential in the unheard 
And in the night do you hear the call
It was a freefall 
That year I committed myself to you
It’s 2012 and I’m walking through
The doors of my mind back to you then
In all of this did I lose a friend 
Somewhere in the aftermath
And I’m not scared of wrath
By some deity
Telling me that it hates me 
In the world of the hologram 
If there is a plan 
It must be Love
Coz without It what is the above
But a sanctity we fear
I’m running with wolves and near
To the free wind
To love versus to have sinned 
Coz you’re about as bad as they get
But I can bring myself to regret 
Our cataclysm 
Is it time to heal the Great Schism

The Long Forgiveness

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I don’t want to let go of the feeling
Because it means I must let go of you
And I don’t want to
They all teased us about each other
But sometimes you were like the brother
I never had
And it makes me sad
To think that I
Must wait until I die 
To see your visage again
I should’ve told you I could talk with pen
And write a sonnet for you
Is moving on the same as pulling through
Coz he threw those words at me
But he simply doesn’t see
That life takes care of life
And somebody’s wife
Or somebody’s son
Is warm with the waves that come from the sun
Pure photon light
Balancing between here and alright
And must I escape
A hero in a red cape
Comes to save the day
But he can’t bring back what’s gone away
And what would you say
About things like that
Love is not something that you lack
But something that pours through
Right now I’m starring in a role and you
Have dissipated 
Have I ever hated 
Life so much
To vanish what was warm to the touch
And sincere and honest
They talk about Heaven but I wouldn’t count on it
To save the day
We are born to go away
And must make hay
In the sun we know
Tell me what to do, a stór, the show
Must go on
But how do I love with you gone
How do I let a man into my heart
When it’s been broken and the part
I crave the most
Is with the Father, Son and Holy Ghost

Issues

.Reading time 3 minutes.
The pain reverberates around the inner wall of my sanctum
All is lost and I never thanked him
For who he was to me
They say that death is to be set free
But chains encircle and the vice, it grips
Some people escape by going on head trips
I sit in the suffer 
Coz I know you loved her
In your short time here
Your golden hair and fiery heart, my dear
Will never go to waste 
I stay chaste
And good and clean
But I only meet you in a dream
Til he walks on the scene 
And everything I love is in full colour 
The Now is here and the past is duller
But the car crash of us mimics the cry
Of the moment I learned that you die
Grasping, clawing, trying to hold on
But you are already gone
And memory
Seems to be 
The only thing you have left me 
As the vultures circle looking for some chew 
While I’m on the grass just talking to you
And he was a symbol of salvation, I held him tight
But he’s emptiness in the night
Always a little too far away
With a little too much to say
About me and you, he and I
And I’m not gonna lie
I tried to make that plaster fit
He just thinks I am a little bitch
Affection and playful but it’s not enough
I’m looking for Eternal Love
To bridge the gap
Because Death leaves behind no map
And the scrap of what I can remember 
Of the years of knowing you
Is scrawled in a diary I put pen to
But it doesn’t bring you back, I chew the cap
What if I have another relapse
And end up in the psych ward again
Because reality is not my friend
So I take refuge in fables
Keep up if you’re able
It’s a litany
Of all the liars I never got to be 
And somewhere in the sunshine I see you again
You set the gold standard of men
And you were there that year in 2007
In the blue camp and I, eleven,
In love with with your name
Life will never, ever be the same
With you gone, now there’s no one to squeeze my hand 
And smile like everything is grand 
And fun and neat
Next door neighbours, next time we meet
Will be an eon hence
My Love is never in the past tense

Fliuch Báite

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Deliver all these notes into the hands of my older self 
I don’t know who could take from them anything else
And am I just hoarding trinkets 
Blink it’s 
Gone 
And I never said so long 
But you belong 
By my side
As the grey hairs encroach
On what I love the most
And, time, it is a fickle thing
And Aoibhín said I had a broken wing
In Dean Swift in St. Pat’s
They must have been wondering what I was at
Stalking the halls like a hungry ghost
In the shape of what I love the most
And it is coast to coast
But the shackles just fall
And I drew an eye on the wall
Coz I felt it watching me 
Shared a part of my history
I was back a year later and they hadn’t ruined 
The information that just came too soon
Til a woman took a pen
And wrote words over it again and again
So they painted the colour and the mess
A shade of brown but I digress
From what I’m saying here
It’s just I feel you near
When I’m locked in a cell
By those who wish me well
And they click a pen
Write the error down again
And I can’t seem to explain
That when the sky cracked into the rain
The pane of glass came falling down
Into sheets on the ground 
And I was soaked through and through
Fliuch and staring up at you
As I scream unto the sky
Please don’t let me die
Until I make destiny mine
And I will go through it, it’s fine
As all and sundry move away
Leave me to fall into what they say
And the meanings true
I reach out but there’s no you

Fear To The Touch

.Reading time 1 minute.
You could be dead and I wouldn’t know
Does the pain start to show
As I mourn your form
So cold where it used to be warm
And I remember kissing the forehead
Of my Grandad in the coffin
It was like ice
And the shock 
Made my soul splice
Into multiple parts
How do you move with a broken heart
And the beat tries to keep you steady
But it stutters and I wasn’t ready
To commit my life to a mortal thing
Coz this bird with broken wing
Can’t fly
And you could die 
And I would shatter like a pane of glass
But somehow in the mists something last
And keeps me walking to your door 
Leaving notes for someone I adore
So he might know 
That, though it doesn’t show
I hold him close to my breast
Calamity and the rest
Can’t shake the ground I know
I watched you change and grow 
From a boy to a man
Through facebook coz I can
And it may track my every move
But I’ve nothing left to prove
Except to leave my open hands
There for the slipping sands
That are the years of us
I shake but I trust

The Light In His Eyes

.Reading time 1 minute.
I’m emo cool
Well I was in school
Though I was in the closet
Coz it wasn’t the norm was it
Til I met that guy
And, man, I could fly
With the joy of knowing such a soul
It will stay with me as I grow old
And the body will wither and die
But it can never take the blue of his eye
That catches the light from mine
In ‘00’s parlance, he was fine
Though he doesn’t know it
And, man, I throw it 
Like a wine or match
And my roof of thatch
Is burning up a storm
And we could keep each other warm
Not in a sex kind of way
But in the profundity that’s in what he say
And I count lucky stars
That prison bars 
Buckled and fell
And I wish him well
With the girl that he knows
But with me it’s anything goes 
And this love will last a life
Metaphorical man and wife
Even if we never get to be
The ocean is just the sea
By another name and form
I met you and I was born

The First Kiss

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
The love pulses in my veins
And I can’t get enough of refrains
Even as it causes me pain
I do it again and again and again
I love too much to be let go
I love you and I hope you know
Coz it burns like a holy fire
It hurts but it takes me higher
Could this be the Spirit nothing can contain
Like clouds fail to hold the rain
When they are too full and heavy
And I was born ready
Ready for this
Could forever be my first kiss

Paddy’s Eyes

.Reading time 1 minute.
Paddy’s eyes were like stone opals 
And I wonder how he is
Did he get his woman
Did he get his wish
Coz for a while he was mine
And I can see the sparkles shine 
As they encase his face 
Not one hair was out of place 
And he had that devilish grin
And a personality that would win
You over with a smile 
I keep it on file
But the memories fade
And the bodies age 
Do you still have facial hair
And a presence that is just there
And we crossed paths in Spiral Tree
I caught you stare at me
As I wait by the bar
Oh, if I could only know what you are 
Coz you escape definition
And the early edition
Of the Longford Leader
(If you took time to read her)
Announces our notice true
What would my life look like with you
By my side, coz you’re in my heart
I watch the comet turn an arc
And come back to flame
Is it okay I used your name?

The Fleeting Pull

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
The fleeting pull
of the cataclysmic 
Beckons me with all its might
And I feel set alight
By a passion I can barely contain
Oh, let the rain
In all the might, it pours
And, he, the one my heart adores
Just strides into a room
As it is pouring doom
And announces 
What the will of all thing denounces
That there is life in the old dog yet
I work the bog and I forget
What all this rendering timber will do
In a hundred lifetimes I’d still choose you

A Sea That Is Whole

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There’s a heavy weight that hangs between us
Like the bow of a ship about to turn
And we’re living in a world
That burn and burn and burn
As we’re watching with our candlelight
Hoping everything will be alright 
But the torrent is air
And we don’t have a prayer
Against these heavy winds
Let him throw the first stone
He who has not sinned
Coz in this Paradise
It’s not enough to merely be nice
You have to be true
That’s why I’m talking to all of you
And singing my soul
The dream to be
A sea that is whole

Coz You Loved Taylor Swift

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You said hello
Then okay bye
And there's something about your soul 
That makes me want to cry
Coz you're perfect, you're sincere
But you falter the web when I come near
And you're soft to the touch
And you're easy, then strong
And you look at me like I
Could do no wrong
But I snuck a peak
Into the deepest part of you
And I let you in 
Coz you wanted me to
And all of the fabrications can't make this a lie
That we both wake up when the life tries to die
On us in this subterfuge
Do you take refuge
In her sudden storm
Does she do more than keep the bed warm 
And I ain't jealous, I'm just missing out
And you kind of hit the nail on the head of my doubt
When you said "tell your folks"
This couldn't be one of your jokes
That you just play on me
You're withering and it takes time to see
That the cavalcade is just there to test
And I am not bigger and brighter than the rest
I'm just the puzzle piece to your thaw
And you run the scene like you're an outlaw
As we both find solace in what can't be contained
A sky full of clouds and then it rained

The Power And The Fault

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The power surges through the line
And the fuse blows
It's my circuitry 
And God knows
I've done all I can 
To keep the ship steady
Wait for the moment 
When I am ready
But I am pushed out, out
Beyond my cave of fear
And my web of doubt
Be Present, shine
And when you do, reflect some of mine
I searched tomes
And stayed home
For fear of my awesome strength
Then wonder at weakness and where it all went
When the wind blew in a storm
And I wondered why it wasn't warm 
As the lightning cracked
And the thunder wondered why you can't take it back
Once the lesson is learned 
And the bridge has been burned
And cured of all its rope
When do you begin to hope
When the crush is all that you know
And people you love won't let you go
To lead your own life
Only visions of derision and being a wife
To some also ran 
Because I can
Can simply not
See the weather that time forgot
In it's oceanic hue 
It wasn't right but I still choose you

The Wintering

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The wintering held my hand for a time or two
I couldn't stand up so I just blamed you
For falling at my feet
Oh, how the chasm meet
Each side of a cliff
And a what if
When the water rises
Does it lift all boats, she surmises
And wonders herself into an avenue 
Oh, the colour red and it's incendiary blue
Are we either shade
And do the bandits raid
When you are not at home
Lock the door, carry your phone
The people say
But I just get carried away
With all of my notions
And my emotions
Are seasonal stares
Do I just sell my wares
On Dawson Street, to the highest bidder
I, like the bird on the branch, don't know how to wither
Just take a death plunge
Then pull up at the end so that the lunge
Makes my stomach drop
And all that I am not
Seems to echo a refrain
I found a way out of the pain
And I want to share it with you
So that we can ripple individually too
Into the whole sea
And every wave is part destiny
You cannot separate out
The moment of truth from the moment of doubt
As it all interweaves
The love of all things is up your sleeve

Effortless

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I guess I was wrong
I was so hypocritical 
I never stood up for you
Antithetical
And the movement was counter
To the culture you know
So GAA in your face 
To hammer the blow
Home like you never knew   
But I loved you
And your depression reeks
Of the mountain you never speak
And I know you have something
In you to say
I can feel it when 
You look at me that way
And the colours are shining
And you’re full of pride
There’s a part of my life
That I always hide
From the well wishers from walls
Sick of getting these cold calls
From a foreign air
It’s as though I’m about to go spare
Running a race I’ll never win
If I agree will you let me in
But is that just bad form
When there’s a part of my heart warm
From the joy of just meeting you
I went along with it coz you wanted me to

Commitmentphobe

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Committmentphobe
I don’t know, do you suppose
I could just put this on pause
Am I breaking any laws
To say that I’m not sure that we
Have anything left to be
And you smile, gentle and deft
And I swear it’s a kind of theft
To steal into my heart like that
To the point I say hi back
And acknowledge every greeting
Shur isn’t it grand, we’re only meeting
On some kind of upper floor
And you know who I adore
In spite of all of his flaws
In the spring the ice thaws
And the daffodil will grow
Like all of life does, you know

Motionary

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Is it that there’s too much to say
Or not enough 
Coz you’ve got to know
I’ve always cared for you, love
And there’s a distance between us
Or a depth we can’t dive
We breathe in the air
Just to survive
And the cogs they turn
In the wheels of our life
It’s like a winter’s morning
With a new bite
In the air 
That you can just taste
Oh, what in the world 
Did you create?

A Race I Can’t Pursue

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Trying to keep up to a race I can’t pursue 
It’s like trying to win the attention of you
And you just turn away, a shoulder to glance
And I am there begging for another chance
To be who I am in your company
But you know we’re just friends, it’s not eternity
And I promised you silver and I promised you gold
Promised together in the growing old
But now it’s as though a chasm has opened
Do you hear me at all or am I just hoping
As I see you though the gaps in my hands
Fingers clasped over eyes that understand 
The motion of trees
That we wouldn’t work, would you believe
In all that turns out to be true
If you rely on the weather, it just changes you
And I can’t cut the grass on the field that you own
Can’t win me over once the game is thrown
Into the midnight and out with the day
I’m kind of conflicted about us, okay?

The Golden Hearse

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The axe chopped down the tree
And, the wood, it was me
As I fell from on high
Hard, for some guy
And he brushes me off
But I sense a depth
I get the feeling
He regrets
Letting us go
But, then again, what do I know
And I used to blaze a trail
Til I found his and without fail
I used to follow, breadcrumb sweet
The pebbles led me to where we meet
But there is no way back
And I didn’t mean to attack
I was just vociferously 
Defending the best of me
As you tried to tear me down
But you didn’t see the crown
On the king
The bird can fly with a broken wing
But it’s stuttered and weak
You kind of leave me speechless and meek
As you gently assume the worst
The best dress to the golden hearse

Remember Me, Love

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Remember me, love
As I lie in wait
I sit on the bed
And think of a date 
I once had with you
I was one of the few
To walk in that open door
Would you like to see the shore
That laps the waves
And all the lost boys it saves
And Barry made a joke of me
But he was hella cute
Even if he did play the flute
And I’m looking at Hozier
On a magazine
Thinking he might just be the dream
Some Andrew Byrne with height
I bet we’d never fight
Only do things 
He dare not speak
Lest I see where he’s weak
And now I have the freedom
To be encased
Do you remember 
The first time our hearts raced
As we sat side by side
Just bristling with the feeling
Of being alive
And you zing with magic
Some electric touch
And I know I’m someone 
You’d like to rush
Into something unseen
I’m just part of the dream
On your screen
No solipsis, just the Queen
To put a crown on your head
And there are mornings
We could wake up dead
But, so far, we’re good
No Snow White in the wood
Just a single dancing elf
That asks you to just be yourself
When you move with me
It’s priceless, baby, but its free

It Was More Than That

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It was a grapevine fire that caught onto you
And I didn’t want you to know I was staring through
A portal into another world
How did I not see that you had a girl
And all my detective, all my sleuth
Building pillars of time upon our youth
And they had me admitted to a psych ward
I just look at you when I’m bored
And it makes me smile 
Then Emmett crashes in for a while 
With his clipboard and pen 
Could you say that again 
Like I said to you
The pain in your eyes was pushing me through
The eye of a needle so fine
God, I wish we would’ve had more time
Til the separate 
Would you call it fate
Or just say it’s my fault 
That a heart’s not made to be locked in a vault
And let out on special occasions 
Jesus, what are those abrasions 
Did you roll down a hill
He tells the truth but I never will
In his company 
And he just acts the fool with me 
And I feel whole 
I didn’t realise I’d found my soul

One World Community

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Holding space for war torn regions
With the strength of prayer
So they know that love is there
And the fighters on the extreme
Are only caught up in the dream
Never knowing what they do
But what would you do if it was you
And if you had the power to make change
Would you think it a bit strange
That some people resist
There’s nobody on my list
Coz I have let go of enmity
But I stay vigilant coz integrity 
Means being aware that it could come back 
The ego hiding in the lack

The Guy On The Screen

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Waiting for the guy on the screen 
Is it just a long dream 
Since I was born 
I've been in love with the storm
That just rages
I use pages 
To rifle through another scene 
And I say that it's just something I've been 
And I wonder if Stephen 
Would smile if the ends weren't even
And I just want to show 
Him the places that I go
When my serenity expands
There are vast oceans of open lands 
That are there for the the perusing 
I have no idea what it is that I'm losing 
When I let you go 
It's the complete unknown and it show 
Me something that I've never seen
But it's nerve wrecking to be the queen 
Of the midnights that just sashay 
Is it okay
If I like you like that 
The boy said he wanted his hat
Back but it was mine
And I tell it to him a thousand time
You can only ever be
The space that you set free

Snare Drum

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Hit that snare drum
And I try to do the sum
That will add up to the whole of my life
Am I just a house and a wife
To some man I don't yet know 
Or is there a reason that I just go
To the farthest corners of the earth
To find a way out of the hurt
The distant hum of the fan 
I want to stop it if I can
So I meditate and it doesn't work
I run and I just sweat my shirt 
And I listen to Eckhart Tolle
It switches into something whole
And cascades like the perfect song
Beating the movement where you went wrong 
And I'm listening to my own misery biz 
I used to be the shizz
Now I'm just old and normal 
Saw you in a suit so formal
Looking like you pay the rent
I wonder where the vagabond went
That crashed into my life like a storm 
And he's the fire that keeps the heat warm 
I wish you could know
That I would never let you go 
Only let the line go slack
And wait until you call me back 
And you always do 
I walk another's shoe
Til the soles are worn and dry
I dunno I had to try
And be the one to satisfy 
The longing that reaches out
It quenches thirst to match my doubt
Like that castle in the sky
I meet in dreams that die
Into a morning that just breaks 
And the girl, like the ocean, wakes

Paper Trains

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https://pin.it/4LrKnqa
Using money as a measurement for success 
All I get is lost in distress
And unconsciousness
As I cling to the wall
Then the whole thing fall
And I look at the rubble at my feet
Why did God let us meet
If he didn’t intend us to be together 
I scream in the morning air and the weather
Utters no reply
As dawn breaks over the seat where I lie
And that was back in ten
Number one on my list of men
That I adore
It’s like I found him on the shore
I used to seek solace on
But after I met you the whole thing was gone
It burned up like a candle flame
And all I have to hold is your name 
And I remember your hand so soft and cool
That summer we met after school
In the park
And the field is green but the dark
Is just around the corner and I
Know what it is to be left out to dry
Like washing on the line
But don’t worry about it, it’s fine
He looks deeply into my eyes
And I’m momentarily without disguise
Or words to play
“I didn’t know you loved me that way”
I stutter a response
He’s not fooled
The evening changed
And the heat it cooled
Down into a summer balm
And all I feel is this unearthly calm
Creeping over the edges of my perception
The perfect kind of misdirection
To make the minute hour long
“I didn’t know you were that strong”
And the wellspring bubbles to the surface
“My God, aren’t you perfect”
In the moment we hold each other
I could never love another
The way I love you
I close my eyes and it’s just us two

The Bungalow By The Woods

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https://pin.it/22sQbdh
I run but there’s no race that I win 
I walk away but I think of him
Every single day
Was there really no other way
To handle things
And my heart sings
When the memory rises
And my surprises 
To find him there
And find he care
Surpasses all my man made doubt
And a life learned to live without
Like holding back the air
I need to breathe and I care
About what happens to you
I would love to reach out to 
You across the great divide 
But I fear the rebuff and I hide 
My secrets away so safe
And I used to be a little waif
In hunger with what she couldn’t live
I hope that you forgive
Me for my transgression
Why does this feel like a confession
When I’m at a loss as to what to say
So I make something up by the way
And feel all the penance that’s due
I just want to be worthy of you 
But you won’t see me no more
I knocked and the door 
Opened and closed in my face
Did you know this used to be my place

Changing Me

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https://pin.it/5qDYMI4
I’m a bit different
But I’m still the same
Growing up
Without a name
And I know I was immature 
And harsh as hell
And pushed away
Anyone who wanted to tell
Me how to live my life
2.5 kids and a wife
And now he’s got all that
And all I have is to want him back
And it’s a flailing in the water drunk
It’s a commerce cost that’s sunk
Like the coconut on the veranda
And I wrote a poem about Amanda
Because she reminds me of you
I left but it wasn’t coz I wanted to

Amanda’s Dream

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https://pin.it/32shwlY
Driving through town and I think of Amanda
She was into the emo scene
And her hair was long
Like a fucking queen 
And I try to emulate what I saw back then 
Seventeen 2.0 again 
And I wonder where he is
If he has a wife and kids
I used to check his deets 
Before I admitted utter defeat
And the family life always seemed empty
Like why would you when you’re good looking and twenty
But when you’re thirty three and laying waste
Everyone seems to say; make haste, make haste
And I’m like a rock in the river, it just flows by
And it might be a long time before I die
And forty looks scary as hell
Do you grow up or lose life as well
Coz age hasn’t changed the core of peace
And forgiveness might be the only release
For what she did to me
If you wake up are you free
Or do you deal with encumbrance still
Going through a dark night of the will

Conflict In The Vortex

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It’s like sex doesn’t exist
Though it pertinently does
As it drew you down from above
Into a human incarnation
Til all the cells are in formation
And in a cohesive whole
Come together to house your soul
In a container, a vessel pure
But mind your language, you must be demure
And not let your thoughts stray
Admit to thinking and feeling that way
About him
And a woman can’t win
Coz she gets beat
If she can’t stand the heat
Of the furnace roar
Blowing a blazing breeze into a soar
As it brushes back your hair
Did you know that I was there
When I looked at you
I thought you looked at me too
But the army’s engaged
And, the battle, it raged 
On an open plain
Saying we’ll never do that again
But we do, obviously 
And it is no mystery
Why in these many streams
We can’t be the one who dreams
Coz we keep waking with a shudder
And I may never be a mother
Coz I’m hopelessly devoted to a dream that I
Will follow til the day I die
And I dunno
If it will let me go
And make a life
Be someone’s other half, their wife
And the suitors are few
But each one of them borrowed their eyes from you

Interpretations

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https://pin.it/5OngcuY
Can psychosis be precocious 
Or is it just kundalini
Is it love or does it just demean me
Like the woman said on the tv
I’m four years old and I cut my knee
I still have the scar
At 64 will that be what you are
Just another favor of my youth
Oh, time can be such a brute
It offers you the sky
But with a catch, you die
In the end or before your time
I’m hesitant so I rhyme
To make sense of things 
Meaning out of broken wings
And I was in a tight enclosure 
Thought I’d die from exposure
To the sun
Coz there’s this light shining from everyone
And the man passed my bed
I thought I’d pass out instead 
Coz I was just riding the vibe
Living (coz I am alive)
And he thought it was the bathroom glare
There were no locks in there
And they would bang on the door
And say; “just doing the check”
And I’m just some ship you wreck
With your foreign shore
Why the hell do I want more
Instead of less
It’s like some sort of undress
When my soul is bare
And you found the thread that started the tear
I got in your head and wound up in there
Where they parcel the joy
But I exchange it for a boy
I just found by the side of the road
I said to leave down the load
Even just for a moment, in my presence
And I could feel his essence
Start to fly
I hope I don’t die
Before I see him again
And I break my rule on men

The Disease Of Dissatisfaction

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Photo by Ian Turnell on Pexels.com
You sit in silence, you hear the sound
Of doom now that it’s all around
And I swear I’m a first class citizen
So don’t pity them 
Those who ask to see you cry
Because they know everyone die
And they’re trying to put off the date
But why let it lie in wait
I stood up in my two boots
And issued a challenge to my roots
And I grow into a tree
Stuck in the same spot, you see 
And the vibration gives off waves
Are you the hero who always saves
Like Superman but in his Smallville years
Don’t think I didn’t see the tears
You cried in secret
I made a promise and I keep it 
Every day, I said I won’t forget
And you challenge me but I haven’t yet
I was hiding in the bush
When I said there was no rush
And you were in the long grass
When you worked up the nerve to ask
Me out on a date
You call it logistics, I call it fate
Coz what was held between us both
That evening on the coast
Of the shore that we both know
I love him so I let it flow

Solipsis

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The sun is shining
The leaves are green
And I thank you for 
All that you have been
In the midnight stars 
Or ocean blues
I see you in
Sunset hues
And when the dawn 
Comes for the day
I thank you for
What's gone away
And what has risen
In its place 
I'm home again
In open space