Deliberations And Hesitation

Are you a narcissist, I think I'd love you anyway
And I've had my truck with one before you came my way
And she goddamned broke my heart with her remarks
And I lived for two months in the complete dark
With no hope of light
But I said that it's alright
Because she is out of my life
Now I just want to be his wife
And I see the familiar pattern
Like I am coming at him
When I just say how I feel
And I wonder if this is real
Because I'm just sitting by his side
With no way to hide
Anything that is inside
And I hear in the years that have moved on
His memory of me is almost gone
And that he has got a girl
At least he tells me that in his world
I am shy of the ceiling
And there's no way he can be dealing
With my kind of shit
But I just keep talking it
Though I fail to say the words I mean
You are my fucking dream
You are my love and my heart
And I just want to take part
In your life
Does lightning strike twice?
Or does love just make the ground
A place that can hold the sound
Of the thunder as it rolls
Something entwines our two souls

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Shyness And Circumstance

I could tell that he wanted to die 
And I just wanted to tell him not to cry
But how can I be of use
How can I be the proof
That life is worth living
And there's nothing that needs forgiving
You are innocent, pure
And I trust in that place in you, for sure
But you don't believe me and I watch you turn away
And I am lost for words to say
Just know that I will be here, here
And I will make it crystal clear
That I am not going anywhere
So don't you dare
Depart these lands
Because someone understands
Even if she blushes when you smile
Even if she'd watch you for a long while
Even if she'd make pain into art
And wait before she gives you her heart
Even though it's yours for the taking
And I'm not faking
I'm just shy and a little afraid
And you're so bright I seek the shade
So I can look out from there
And make sure you know I care
I count every step you take
To me and with each one I hope you wake
To the notion that love is true
And that it will always be in me for you

Finding Adam

I find that the explosive anger hits me right where it hurts
But I have to admit that it was there first
And has a right to existm
There were years that I missed
Before I was born
And things were torn
Like the veil of the sky
When someone is about to die
And I used to cower in fear
When it came near
Like a monster in someone's shoes
Til I found a man that sings the blues
And I would be willing to give up that terror
Just so I could correct the error
In this thinking
That has him drinking
In the idea that "no one cares"
May I be the one who dares
As I reach out to hold his hand
And hope that I understand
Everything under the weight of his cloud
I walk like a widow in a funeral shroud
Mourning all those who've died
But he catches the tears I've cried
And I can see in his eyes
That he would have tried
If no one had been there to stop that train
So I come round again
To sit on the cart
And give him all of my heart
You are a special soul
And I'll be with you as the waves roll
Come what may
It doesn't matter what people say
It only matters what you are
And you, my love, are my burning star

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Metaphysical

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Oh, and didn’t miss the 11.11 💫

The Dark Night Fairytale

It was a dark night fairytale the day that we met 
And I cannot forget
The ages and the eave runs
It was by the light of a hundred thousand suns
That we were born
And then we were torn
I’ve been scared to revisit that time
In case you might know my crime
And I’ve been eviscerated
For the things I barely stated
Stunned into silence
By their violence
As I try to annunciate
All that caused me to run from that date
And the only solace I find
Is by expositioning the mind
On a piece of paper
And I don’t hate her
But I don’t love her either
Not the way the webs deceive her
And cause her to lash out at me
Then tell me that I am free
To go my own way
What is it that they say
You don’t know it til you’ve lost it
And it was earnings but I didn’t cost it

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The Forest And The Girl

The forest closed in around the girl 
And for the last time she saw the world
As it had always been
There was a time when she was the queen
In perfect aftershave
Now there is no one to save
And she must cope with the weight
That buckles under people’s hate
And she shines a new light unto the dawn
But all that she craved is long gone
And untoward
Just don’t say that you’re bored
With the way things are
I’ll meet you under a star

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Revulsion

I can’t stand my own appearance
It’s like they’re having a clearance
Sale on all I used to be
And I hear the pause where it had been complimentary
And I must square with losing the body
And all that it attends
There is a brutal breakage that nothing mends
And the legacy of their “love”
Is a girl ten times closer to above
And they claim they do it right
But I remember the night
They lashed me with their whips
Just so they could own my eclipse
And she said she would call the cops
Now all she is to me is what she was not
In the evening time of a gaslit anthem
Tiptoeing around a ranting
Shout at the break of day
I guess things can’t always go my way
Or if they do it’s on a different plane
I’ve lost a lot but there’s something that I gain
In the surrender
Am I the girl I used to remember
So free and so blue
Now they just say she used to
Be that way
Because in the midnight I made hay
And someday in the light
Everyone will see why I’m so quiet

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Magic Makes Might

Magic makes might
And some things will always be bright
Even in the darkest night
Of the dawn
I watched it as it became the gone
And now my body is fading, fading
I’m aging, aging
Almost thirty four
With forty knocking on the door
And it’s always been this way
From ten years old that I cannot make stay
And I watch my grandfather die
I didn’t have the tears to cry
Because the pain was too intense
And the asylum seekers live in tents
On the streets
And my heartbeats
Are all numbered
I wonder if they are coloured
By the shades of what I am
And I wonder if I can
Ever be something new
If I’m always hankering after you
And they put me on the pill
(Not the one that will
Allow you to have fun
It’s another one)
And it caused me to gain weight
And God knows what else under the fate
Of what I must now carry
And their burdens marry
Me to the nearest guy
But that’s not something I want to try
To replicate
The best lovers never go on a date

Structured Ties And Universal Intent

Trying to cure myself of the sin they caused 
I look up from the dream and the screen is paused
And is the thing I believe in all corrupt
Do I get blamed just for questioning love
Coz I don’t want to be the bad guy
But I try and try and try and try
And never see anything but the sky
And the part of me that will not die
And do I just rebel, rebel
Are the disbelievers going to hell
Coz I can’t contain all this pain
I sing my sonnet but I do it in vain
And do I always think I’m right
Telling stories by the firelight
Just to engage and ignite
But some things there are that are out of sight
And I’ve been loyal to what I said to him
That I wouldn’t criticize the din
That sounded when the cymbals clashed
But I let go, now the glass is smashed
And I can’t repair it piece by piece
It’s what happen when the drama cease
And I wonder what I
Will be like in the future if I don’t cry
Out against the crimes I see
Are we just repeating history
And am I myself just as much to blame
When I sink into the walls of my shame
And come out smelling of roses too
I put off something that I meant to you
Until a tomorrow that never comes
But the waves are high and the rush succumbs
And it’s true that the drugs numb
The place that I’m travelling from
Coz I feel a sudden in the air
An offering that isn’t there
And I run out to grasp the hands
That carry the weight of slipping sands
But time won’t wait for a single grain
And fighting it just causes pain
To me, to them, to us, to we
I keep on shouting why don’t you see
But the immortal has been condensed
To something put in the past tense
Or in the future salvation now
I don’t know how to carry it somehow

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Impressing It Upon You

Let sleeping dogs lie
And let that boy try and try
He’s never gonna get a bite on that line
I thought I told you the first time
And I love you, now and forever
But I do not endeavour
To chip away at the old armour links
And I know that he thinks
He can overpower me with the weight of his control
But I’ve only ever loved his soul
And not the frame that he gives voice to
Although it is beautiful to see you
Shining through the flesh and bone
And feeling less alone
When I am around
But the sound
Of one hand clapping
And the ideas that you are mapping
Won’t find you the treasure you crave
I’m not the girl you came here to save

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In The March

They’re all for the right to choose
Like it is a point to prove
And being female means you have the right
To extinguish life
If it flows forth from you
And depends on what you’re giving to
The wilderness of a winter
And every fire knows the cinder
That burns on after the flames are gone
And the echoes of this are for so long
And I gave up acres just so I could say
I don’t agree with things being this way
But it’s become a moot point to speak
On what you think when your resolve is weak
And I’ve no desire to misunderstand
Or act like I’m a man
Who’s in control of the whole rote learned degree
It just seems like a blight on our history
To think that the embryonic cell
Does not contain all that will grow well
Into its teens
In sighs and ripped jeans
But when you put a full stop at the end of a sentence
You block the entrance
And ward off all visitors there
Don’t tell me that you care
About women’s rights
When you watch them take flights
And just because I don’t agree
Doesn’t mean that she is less free
Than I could ever be
There are notes scrawled on bathroom door
And flyers up and what’s more
The student’s union promotes the thing
While the opposites argue about a ring
Can we have a conversation where one side versus the other
Becomes a spectrum of lover to lover
Making heaven in the sky
It doesn’t mean they have to die
Or that you have to cede ground
Just answer when you hear the sound

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Fences Drawing A Line

There’s a link on the chain
And it’s all well and good til it starts to rain
And you lose someone you love
Walking the earth then suddenly above
And everyone can say; you’ll be alright
But there’s this vast empty feeling in the night
And no one where there used to be there
I acted like I didn’t care
Coz I couldn’t let you know the truth
That I am letting go my youth
And you’re part of the scene
The fabric of dream
That dissipate
And there’s nothing about hate
I know you were alone
And I left our home
But I simply couldn’t stay
And I wouldn’t have wanted you to go away
But you did
And the lid
Of a bottle will never be the same
Am I strong enough to say your name?

The Freedom Of Information

Have we become the abortion state 
The ones that would make a person wait
To see if they qualify
For the right to die
And she shudders when she realise
That all of her stormy skies
Have condensed into a cell
That she does not wish well
She just wants to get it out, out
And I can’t let my truth escape my mouth
Because what if she feels judged, sad
All I can think is how bad
It must be to give birth
To a wire you don’t want to earth
And though I feel the separation
Between you and I and our education
I don’t want to let this one go to loss
Do you know the cost
That is paid
When you put the sun in the shade
And believe that mothering blues
Is all that will become of you
If you release the foe
And let the war with her go
And the man just walks away
Because he has had his full today
And there is nothing more to say
Than just get rid of it
I don’t want to throw a few quid at it
Until it reaches eighteen years old
And what have we been told
About the genesis of life
Do we really know when a wife
Conceives
And what she believes
Determines what we see
I know that if it was me
I wouldn’t want to water the ground
With a mere lack of sound
And it’s easy to say
She shouldn’t move that way
Because I see a child, a child
In a heartbeat and a smile
Somewhere in the amniotic sac
And once it’s gone you can’t get it back
And what you lack
Is a structure that supports
You to a deeper force
Living with injustice die
I can hear her spirit cry
Out loud and in her deepest woe
I have to just let it go
But I can not forgive myself
Is that what happens when you let go of wealth

Surrender

I like an iced drink on the rocks
Like I used to like Seapoint and the playing slots
Because my grandmother created a memory with me
As we bet on 5p
To reveal the mystery
And she had lost my grandfather to history
But she did not stay long
Is it wrong
To see the poetic madness in following the one you love
To the grave or to above
If that’s how you see it
And something tells me I’ve got to just be it
And he’s miles away from me
But I don’t want him to see
He’s always been the one my soul chooses
And everything is just weight that he loses
As he untethers his pain
And something brings us together again
I’m making this masterpiece so that you
Might know who I’m talking to
When I follow the fuse
To the one I always choose

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The Fog Creeps

Don’t come to me looking for your tears
They haven’t been here for years and years
And all that you sought to steal
Cannot escape the grasp of the real
Why did I listen to you
Coz you don’t know what you’re talking about do you
When you have a rule book to follow
And all of your words ring a little bit hollow
As they seek to protect
Me from the male reject
But I fuckin’ love it, man
And you never can
Take me from the study of human behaviour
And the masculine form as it tries to save you
From what you are
I wouldn’t worry ‘bout me, I am made from a star

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The Quantum Version

You go be a realistic adult
Just leave me as I am
I don’t need your adequate prose
Or my life to plan
Just let the shards fall softly
Like snow from the sky
The wages of sin is death
So excuse me while I don’t reply
To all your locked boxes
Checked like they would
Did you really find your refuge
In an abandoned wood
Coz it’s been so long since twenty one
And longer since twenty two
And now I find I’m covetous
Of all that belongs to you
In the winter that breaks the snow
And the places I would not go
For love nor money
I’m an author now, honey
And your smash and grab won’t win
Oh, what I did to him
To prove our love was real
Was I really out to steal
Or just to interrupt
With that hat that I adjust
Like so on my head
And now the man is wed
But inner dimensionally
And guess what it’s to me
And my hands shake as I write the letter
Said I know I love you better
And the ink is splotched and tear stained
You can tell the places the clouds rained
Down from my eye
As blue as an azure sky
In the coast that we frequent
Don’t know where the trouble went

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The Onslaught

She beats it out of me
The love that she desires
And she says that it’s all fine
While she’s lighting fires
And burning me with her aim
Oh what is in a name
Because she isn’t who she was to me
But there’s no point trying to make her see
She’ll just get her gun and match
Light up the realm like it’s a thatch
And scream it down
I told her I didn’t want to be around
And she screeched into the grass
Oh how to make a moment last
Coz I can’t delete it from my consciousness
Oh who she is I can second guess
Coz I thought I could rely
But then I speak the words to die
And she lets it fly
Her avenging angel into my sky
And there’s no way back
She pushes me round before she attack
Me with a flurry of words
Like they’re not something I’ve already heard
From the aforementioned scene
I woke up from the life that’s a dream
But she keeps trying to push me under
Go back to being just a number
She can calculate
But she knows nothing about fate
Or my destiny
She thinks she knows when she’s talking to me
Just who I am
I’m not her plan

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The Fawn

The fawn is always yawning out her insides
I swear you could set your clock by the way that she abides
By the steady midnight tock
Of the stories that she keeps on lock
And I’ve decided to just drop out of her sphere
Because chains, bells and whistles when she is near
And she never listens and she never hears
She is the iceberg as my ship steers
Unto it’s own direction
And it’s as if love is just a selection
That we make
I know you call the boys and girls fake
When they do not measure up
To the talisman of our love
And I keep it held in my heart
But you wouldn’t know if you tear it apart
Just to find out what is there
It’s like asking a brain to care
After a person is dead
What is it that you said
You don’t have time
That might have been a good line
If it had been true
But, man, I just don’t believe you
Not when you’re rocking back and forth
On the chair on our porch
When we’re both eighty two
No Bambi can take me away from you

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Protections And Charms

I burst onto the scene 
Like Taylor Swift in a dream
Saying speak now, speak now
I’ve got to somehow
As you stood at the altar
Like a horse with his neck in a halter
And I know you have things to prove
And someone you can’t afford to lose
It’s just I had to spill the truth
Like stardust over our youth
And maybe it’s a little too much
13 going on 30 as we touch
After six years on the fly
And I swear that I would rather die
Than go to him now
After all the crimes that he allow
To be committed in his name
And I agree to play the game
As the wolves descend
On a wound that no one can mend
And the blood is stained white
As he talks more shite
In the name of being proud and true
And deferent to you
But the beauty and the Beast
Haven’t had enough of a feast
Until all has been decided
Am I just a girl that he derided
When she got a little too close to the core
I just bask on the shore
As he asks where’s the rum gone
I say, baby, it’s been that way for so long

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The Revelation

What’s all this self flagellation on the screen
As if I am not still the queen
Of my own domain
I look outside and it starts to rain
And in Ireland it pours
It’s still the same man my heart adores
Though I never let my mouth speak
In case he might think that I am weak
For having such tender feelings
And for the reeling
That he induced
When he produced
His sense of humour and a pistol
Now we’re out dancing in Krystle
And its the bane of Dublin City in the mid 2000’s
I remember when I thought love meant holding hands
And going on walks on the beach
Is it what you come to teach
That it is the unattainable I can never reach
And I may have been eighteen and naive
But I still can’t believe
You would turn away from all we are
I know because there is a star
Shining over the place where you abide
And I know that you reside
With another woman now
And she keeps you coming, somehow
Always home to her gate
And there was never much on my dinner plate
To offer up to the sky
Only that I was willing to die
To bring you to a place of balance
And being out of luck is one of my talents
When it comes to you
I let you see because you wanted me to

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A Journalistic Intent

The newspapers are not what they used to be
Slave to some indignity
And they do not report on the crime
I watched the man do hard time
And no one listened
My teardrops glistened
And I saw the female pulverise
It is right under our eyes
And yet no one looks
Everyone’s too busy on face books
Liking tutorials about how to paint the sky
Or do a smokie eye
And I lie
When I say that it’s okay
That we spend our time this way
And all the chicks call me out
For putting a hand over their mouth
And telling them they cannot spend their days
As they like but there are so many ways
They are influenced by outside forces
And the thing is they love divorces
When they’re spread all over shiny pages
Coz the part of them that rages
Tells them it’s normal, okay
Everyone else is doing life the same way
Just don’t go looking or you will find
A much darker side to the human mind
And your being on a marionette
Does nothing to ease the regret
Of those who took a step too far
In an empty room or a crowded bar
And I don’t mean to spill the tea
But there are deeper dragons than me
To lady up a storm
And it would make you wish you were never born
To roll in that sea
I looked at the gross debauchery
Under the cover of a sheet
And I’m dying to meet
A man who could protect me
But they all reject me
When they see I am not for the string
I’ve got a scissors and I cut everything
And it’s like woke Barbie in the movie
But there was a point when Greta lose me
Coz I’m not buying all that is sold
And women don’t do what they’re told
They do what they’re made to do
And I must say the change starts with you
Getting informed
But be warned
The bed of roses is full of thorns
And the darkness is a storm
You cannot quench with water
There is an ungodly slaughter
Going on
I watch the sunset til it’s gone

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The Place That We Meet

Why do I get to sit by my fire
While the people in the Middle East tire
Of being ignored by the Western world
And I’m just a girl
What difference can I make
I am not one to shake
Out the tree
Of indignity
And revolutionise
The way the hope dies
And the children, the children, the children bleed
And I know that all they need
Is some warm food in their bellies
No waiting til after dinner to give them jellies
And there’s a protest dying
Somewhere a mother is crying
Over her son
And I wish I could be the one
To soothe the pain
But the rain
Doesn’t fall when you need it to
We are told there’s nothing we can do
As the educated eejits make bombs of war
I don’t know what it’s for
If not to destroy
How can you teach a boy
That he shouldn’t push that button red
But the temptation overcomes instead
Because to expand your land
Is the fuel to the demand
Of a heart never satisfied
I don’t know but I think that the truth died

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In The Centre Of A Circle

I know you’ve got a wife
And I believe that it’s for life
When you make a promise to someone
And I know that the sun
Has gone down on what we were
I used to be angry at her
For taking you away from me
Bitter coz you didn’t stay with me
And I was flying high
And you just wanted to die
I could feel it in my bones
When we left our homes
You know the one in LA
And no matter what you say
We can’t put it back together
And you just live in the rainy English weather
While I soak up the sun
And now that it’s done
I can finally breathe
Because what we both need
Was not the claustrophobia and smother
I was your girl, not your mother
And they all write about us
But there just was this trust
Between us
I though I had dreamed us
Up
But then my cup
Overflows and spills all over the floor
And the one that I adore
Is many miles away
And not just physically and so I pray
To the God I claim to know
How do I let you go?
When you mean it all to me
Is there a past tense to infinity?
And does it mean now that the rose is in my garden
That I shouldn’t be so hard on him
For what he could not be
I couldn’t hold on so I let you go free
I always thought you’d come back to me
But forever is now part of our history

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Choices We Make

Anguishing a sigh
As she lets her foetus die
And she don’t even cry
Because she had to travel across the water
To say goodbye to a daughter
She will never know
But it’s the right choice to let go
Isn’t it, isn’t it
She questions herself
Gets checked out for mental health
Conditions and now they’ve passed the law
But some part of her spirit doesn’t thaw
Because the shame, the shame
Of a life that will never have a name
And they say they believe in choices
But they silence voices
That will never speak
Because the weak
Are always the first to go
In any kind of broadway show
And I mapped the terrain
Listened to their arguments in vain
To see if I could spy
Some reason why
They say they’re not human
What are they doing
To us just because we have the means
To stifle someone else’s dreams
And it’s not about judgement or pushing you down
It’s about realising what drives this town
And the pull of democracy
That’s tied to an industry
That makes money on this
And every last kiss
That everyone makes
Is the first time someone breaks
And maybe it’s my relationship with grief and death
That has me projecting my own regret
Onto these women
And all the “sinning”
That I ever did
Has been kept under the lid
As I expose
The less travelled roads
That I have not shown
And I’m Catholic, true
But I don’t believe in it all, do you
And all I do is hold it in
Because I have a duty to him
He who died upon a cross
He who said all is not lost
But my defence fails
When I look at the nails
I hold in my palm
Do I crucify another psalm
And raise the dead
Just so I can make my bread
And I hear someone sob and say
I had to let go, okay
As if I sit in some judgement chair
And say you’re the reason she’s not there
But I let the wave break across the strand
And let fear stay my hand
I didn’t vote
Though don’t quote
Me on that
I couldn’t say it was old hat
But I couldn’t hold a knife to her
And say continue what we were
Either
And in the ether
I find peace
As I let the loss decease

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The Old Dark Machine

The old dark machine pulls and it shakes
It shudders when the earth quakes
Entertaining no form of rain
Though the ground is wet in vain
And no grass grows up to meet
The pavement that they call a street
And somehow I see it in her eyes
The part of her that dies
Every time the house is empty
And I was just a girl of twenty
When I realised
That everybody dies
Slowly but not all the same
Some are not even given a name
As in their mother’s womb they lie
And she in grief because they try and try
For so long to bequeath a child
Now all they’re left with is the wild
Of the Burren sparse and grey
Though beauty in its own way
Will rise up through the crevice crack
From a life they can’t get back
As they grasp and struggle and refrain
I didn’t know that I could forgive the pain

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The Wake

It’s an Irish tradition 
But it feels like ammunition
Firing into my soul
Oh, what it takes to be whole
When a person is ripped from this earth
And people just say, I’m sorry that it hurt
As I look at the body in the coffin
And it wasn’t for a lack of lovin’
That it’s in there
All the people who care
Are seated in a square
Around the walls
A four cornered room and we walk down the halls
Lined up in black
And the slack
That is cut like a new shirt
Won’t still the breath that we skirt
“She looks the same”
Or “He looks peaceful” and his name
Is met by an inflection of the head
The horror of when someone is dead
And there’s nothing you can do to get them back
I remember when they carried him out and lack
The ability to hold the memory in equanimity
Coz it’s the last time I’ll ever see
Him in that way
What do they say?
This too shall pass
But I don’t want it to if the love don’t last
Though the memory is like a baseball bat
And people wonder what am I at
Haunting the halls
I say it wouldn’t be this way if the walls
Would just fall down
But I drown
In the ocean I open up
In the name of love
And tears they pour like a saltwater sea
Down my cheeks and cut a valley through me
Like a glacier that moved the ground
To make Kilglass lake and the sound
Of the drumlin belt echoing calls
Across the marsh and the footballs
That just hang in the sky
Why did my grandfather have to die?

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Second Chakra Seethe

Go water your seeds 
It isn’t for me
And every month she bleeds
Out part of our history
As she longs for child
To fill the part of her that’s wild
And forever free
But eternity
Won’t let me move in that direction
And no man with an erection
Of desire in the mood
Shall make me brood
Over what shall not come to pass
And if I ever had class
It’s gone now
So I allow
The truth of my being to express
The part of me that’s a mess
And her hot under the collar bothers me
Because she expects my dignity
To go the way of her folly
But I just hit the volley
Right back at her
And whatever we were
Is gone now and it’s a relief
Because her belief
In how things should be
Have only ever chained up me
To the post of her mocking
And she fills her stocking
With a heavy denier soul
I only ever see getting old
And she fears that time
When forty two would be mine
In the age of running dry
And it’s okay for me but she’s barely getting by
On the fuel that heats her from beneath
I left that gemstone on the street

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Great Expectations

There’s a darkness inside me that I can’t evict
Like when I call the man I love a dick
And lash out at him
For loving other women
When I sent him away
When I said you cannot stay
Coz you only want to have sex
And I don’t know what you expect
From me
And history
Is just the future in reverse
And do we just rehearse
The story everyone else is spinning
And no one is really winning
When we share what we lack
Then he said I can’t come back
Though I self flagellate
Anything to make a date
Of things and make it officially true
But he turns up his nose and says “I don’t love you”
But I know you do
And I can’t explain it
There’s no one to train it
Into you
And when the colour blue
Is on fire red
And I am not warming up your bed
Do you set a scene
Make an enemy of me in the dream
And then wake up screaming
Oh, now I am really steaming
So I tell you IDGAFuck
And if you want me to you’re in hard luck
I can really be mean when I want to be
A bitch on the front of everything you want to see
Coz I won’t bear child
And the fact that you force it down my throat is wild
I wasn’t made to sin
And lie to myself over him
Just to complete the circle
We’re all on a rock that hurtle
Through outer space
And it would be a waste
To bring another soul
Into this rock and roll
But he’s bitter and mad
And I know he don’t say it, but a little bit sad
About the whole story
Says he don’t adore me
I let it fly
And someday you may wonder why
When I make my home with someone else
And leave behind your poor mental health
With a different chick
But I’m sorry for thinking you were a prick
I didn’t say it out loud
But you are so proud
I’m sure you can hear it
And it didn’t endear it
To any of you
So let the water wash me away if you want it to

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Love And Its Consequence

Is to be mother just to gain an experience 
Nothing to do with the child
But a biological urging that has run wild
And we’re watching little ones bleed to death
On a screen but we forget
As we bring new babies to this earth
That they are capable of feeling hurt
And I am reminded of a promise I made
Before the sun put me in the shade
That I would never fall to the fallow field
That only knows how to yield
To a power greater than it
Fertile ground that only ever sit
In the seed to germinate
So he asks the girl on a date
And it may be for the masses, it isn’t for me
But I love them so much and they do not see
As the mattress bows and the bodies writhe
But they’re ashamed and so they hide
Their lovemaking under the covers
Because they should never be lovers
According to modern society
You must do it in the dark or someone will see
And you’ll go to hell (or something like that)
But I took the baseball bat
And smashed that particular window
Because I don’t believe it’s a sin, though
There is shame and there is expense
When you do it outside the present tense
And I may be tantric and I may be yogi
But I don’t walk with someone that doesn’t know me
In the depths, not surface tension
And the only way to make an extension
Is to know just who you are
But when I saw that boy I saw the star
Burning in his heart and soul
I was just eighteen years old
And he six months my junior
But still 1990 so acceptable sooner
Than I would have liked
And my courage spiked
As we sat next to each other
As though the apple had fallen into the hands of a lover
And we both took a bite
But it is alright
Fifteen and a half years later
Though there is a crater
Left by that meteor strike
I just thought you should know I like
You in that way
Though what is it that you say
You don’t got time
Well, here I have plenty, take some of mine

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Letting Love, Letting Go

Death stalks even the most fertile of land
I would go as far as to say you can only understand
Life if you’ve had a little loss
Not just make up and candy floss
To keep yourself looking young
And your song is sung
When you’re eight one
And looking in the mirror
That girl you once were, do you hear her
“She was a good age”, that’s what they say
But I still blame God for taking you away
Just a little too soon
And I’m in the room
And I’m crying, screaming
And if I am only dreaming
Then why does it hurt so much
Why does it feel that all the love
I’ve ever had has departed
No second chances, only heavy hearted
Ways and means
And moonbeams
Sing to me of you
Something about white light and what it can do
To free a soul
I know you were old
And I was twenty nine
And I should be fine
But I’m not
So I take the last shot
That has ever been fired
And I only fall asleep when I’m tired
From all the crying and wailing against
What God whispers to me is heaven sent
And she never had to experience covid or crisis
Had angels around her when she shut her eyelids
And it’s selfish but the pain
Is the only thing that remain
In me for you
Because all the blue
Of the sky has absorbed you in
And maybe now you are with him
Somewhere in the serene
And seventeen
Is come again
When you lose someone, a really good friend
But you find yourself among the debris
And if anyone is looking for me
You should let them know
That I always follow where you go
And into the mystic, into the free
I’m still here but something has left me
Like a bomb shattered house that loses its frame
Like a sage who goes by a different name
Like the winter that bursts into spring
Like waking up to everything

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The Horror Blog

There was a horror blog
That descended on me and it was a slog
To get through all the peat and turf
And everything just getting worse
Why did I not just let it be
Let the dragon get to me
As I ran and ran
But I know I can
Only go so far as my legs can carry
And that the man I want to marry
Will find me eventually
Will cut the chain and set me free
But is that just a myth, a tide
Someone who just does not abide
In the deeper dimension
And no extension
Of time and space or relativity
Seems to bring him closer to me
And it was like all the windows punched out
And everything was in doubt
And I thought the devil had control
And wanted me to play a certain role
As I paced around my room on the first floor
Have I lost everything I adore
And they tell me, tell me, take these pills
Don’t let it be a display of a clash of wills
Between you and Power
And you’re not in a tower
Princess Pink
Waiting for the kitchen sink
To be hurled out the window
You didn’t sin though
You just lost the war
Now we can tell you what it’s all for
But I turn my face away
Because I just cannot stay
In this realm of thieves
And everyone believes
In everything they say
Meanwhile I just walk my way
And I stare into the press
Before I undress
For bed
And Marina said
“What are you looking for?”
If only I could answer, the one I adore
But it would be trite and superficial
So I say I don’t know, it’s just edifical
And anyway I find the pair of socks
And the cófra doesn’t have any locks
So I just close the door
Lie into the bed like a minx, mo stór
Until it’s lights out
And Emmett is about
To gaze behind the curtain
I know he thinks that I’m hurting
But I’m really not
It’s just that I perceive a lot
Beyond the realm of what’s considered to be true
And it’s beautiful when I look at you
Coz you’ve got a purity and a belief
That what you’re doing brings relief
To tortured souls
But I’m here for when the bell tolls
For all and the many
I don’t want there to be any
Soul left behind
Trapped inside their own mind
So I take the lower position
Though it is not my predisposition
To be on the ground
Listening for any sound
That might come through
But there’s angels singing when I look at you
And I hear them call
Out to us behind the wall
That separates
And nothing equates
Like with like
I wait for the day I drop the mic
But it’ll never happen
Because only people who are napping
Think they are the doers of
This holy kind of love
We are recipients and vessels of the pure
It’s something I know for sure
In the midnight owl
Something somewhere is on the prowl
For what it can eat
I hear it snap at my feet
And Gandalf the Grey
Simply had to go away
To be replaced
By a sunshine that takes the place
Of the light
You don’t see it shine til you let the white
Absorb you whole
And take your soul
Into its own creation
And education
Only goes so far
Like science and the bar
Then comes God
Or consciousness or the ‘aul sod
Speaking to your heart
It has to end before Love can start

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The Ancient War

There’s a dead in her eyes
That nothing can disguise
But it always lit up when she looked at me
Didn’t think that I would ever be
The reason why the curtains close
As she follows me down the road
To nowhereland
And it’s all sand
That just gathers at my feet
An hourglass when we meet
Somewhere in between
And if it’s all a dream
Then why are we crying
Over the people that are dying
Left right and centre
And so I enter
The hallowed halls
Of the people who can walk through walls
And the longing calls
Me to let go of the line
That had me doing hard time
In a crater not of my making
And all the people that I’m forsaking
When I take that pill
And it will kill
If I keep on keeping on
So I have to get gone
And on the road
Her carriage slowed
Just to take a look at me
And she never sees the free
I’ve come to be
Only ever the apparent chains
The sunlight reflects upon when it rains
And who gains
When everything is lost
Don’t we all just pay the cost
For the brutal tide
That means we are alive
Because we can feel
Everything that’s real
And vital and true
And just because the colour blue
Is sad and lonely
Doesn’t mean you can’t phone me
Anytime you want
I change the font
To match my mood
Meanwhile you just sit and brood
Over a perceived slight
But you are alright
Aren’t you, aren’t you
I daren’t ask lest it be true
That the fields are green far past the slide
Of what it means to be alive
And they click go on the PowerPoint
And I never want to leave the oint-
Ment powder red
What goes on inside a person’s head
Is the least of what they are
I look up and see that star
Shining over my crucifixion
My errant ways and my eviction
From the stable then
I just don’t want to go through that again
Not for even the best of men
So I take what they offer
And the coffer
Is full
But my skin’s as thin as cotton wool
They use to mask
Everything they cannot ask
Me now the ship has sailed
The chain linked fence and I impaled
Over the least of crimes
My only solace in these rhymes
That never lead to the sea
What is it that you are asking of me
Once more, arís
Some Celtic chieftain once had a feast
But she wasn’t invited
And so the war ignited
The gunpowder flame
That only ever lands upon a name

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The Route I Follow

The problem with life is that it’s just too truthful 
One minute you’re old and the next thing you’re youthful
Fresh again in your summer skin
Then one day you run into him
Looking haggard as the day he was born
With no one there to keep him warm
And it breaks your heart to say
I don’t want to love that way
With two strings tied to each other’s finger
Where someone nearby could be a dead ringer
For your starshot soul
But somehow I found something that made me whole
And I got lost in St. Pat’s
Between avenues and their baseball bats
It was a kind of a refuge from their stares
And the way they said you can’t go there
Not even if it’s your spirit’s longing
You don’t know who you might be wronging
By telling the secret
It’s better you keep it
Even if that means going through hell
At the hands of those who wish you well
And you can always tell
When something’s not right
Coz they cover up the silence with a fight
And try to “settle you down”
No silver lining in this town
But only a bridge to burn
And I had to learn
I can’t rely on suspense
To get me back into the present tense
And her eyes were dead and flat and grey
And there was nothing I could say
To bring them back to life
If I ever become somebody’s wife
I’d like to save the pause
So they would have a get out clause
And not feel shackled to
A dream that is just not made for you
And I claw and I scream
But it just doesn’t seem
That the rocks will fall back up the mountain
And the fountain
Won’t play in reverse
There’s no way to rehearse
The subtle sound
When everyone, everywhere around
Abandons you
I didn’t think I would do
Anything bad enough to be worthy of
The desertion and a lack of love
As I look into his polar eyes and they do not meet mine
They have a sort of deadly shine
In the glow of the fire
The bell rings a bit higher
Than the frequency
That ordinarily would call to me
And so I leave the glen
And I don’t know when
I will be back
I just know I can’t stand the lack
I see in her face
As if she was an island to trace
In a green copy book
It was awful, man, and I was shook
To my core
But I don’t go there anymore
Not in the trees I couldn’t paint
Not in the moment that I faint
Out of the movie
And I cannot prove “me”
To somebody’s din
I blame myself and I blame him
Until I can recognise
That no one told any lies
It was just miscommunication
Like missing the train at the station
And never seeing your foe
As he let the trauma go
On the last ride home
I guess I had to learn that I stand alone
When I stand for this
And no kiss
Can recompense
What it all meant
In the eve of dawn
I looked at my palms and the lines were gone
No route to track, no road to follow
Only the deathly hollow
In the room as I scrunched myself into a ball
Wishing I could just disappear into the wall
But I made it out
And their doubt
Is a reminder that
Everything is just a stat
Until it happens to you
And you cannot do
Anything but ride the wave
I was waiting for someone to save
Me when I became
The sky beyond the rain

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Reams Of Paper

I can feel the slang hanging in the air
All the words that just aren’t there
But were said somewhere
Like Rob whispers secrets
And I know that they’ll all keep it
In the silent bond
And I abscond
But I know in truth
Prisms refracting light of my youth
Will always hold their colour
As life around me gets duller
With the encroach
My grandmother used to wear a broach
To special occasions and sometimes Mass
I wondered when I’d get to pass
That hallowed hall
And I walk with my hand on the wall
The paper would scratch my fingers
And we are family of singers
In the booth
And the proof
Of our love is long lasting heart
Even when life tears us apart
Like little fibres
And the tigers
That roam the forest purr
I always wanted to be her
But somewhere, somehow something has changed
All the stars have rearranged
And I sit in my own boots
You know the one with the roots
That anchor me deep
Into an earth that does not sleep
But watches with one eye open
All your errant, fervent coping
That the seasons do
I don’t want to lose any of you
But I feel the pull
Drag me somewhere and the wool
That was once draped over the back of the chair
Is now threadbare
And I must make my place somewhere
That echoes true
I hope to make you proud with what I do

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Machine Gun Eyes

Dead bodies and machine gun eyes
I think they believe the lies
That they are fed
And when they lie in bed
They must stop the truth from reaching them
And life must be teaching them
How to bear the weight they’ve been gifted
I sweat in my jumper that’s been thrifted
From some nearby store
And I just wanted to change it more
But how do you compete with belief
And you just feel relief
When it falls away from you
It doesn’t matter if you don’t know what to do
What matters is that you’re wiling to be led
Not blind opposition to what’s being said
And I watch Ben Gvir shout his refrain
Does he even know the pain
He’s in and so inflicts
They say that some day wars will be fought with sticks
After we’ve destroyed ourselves
Why do you put them in cells
If they are brother and sister tide
Please leave the Palestinians alive
You’ve done enough
And, God knows, it wasn’t out of love
It was to feed that old demon
That’s always dreaming
He will rule the world
And what does it matter what says this girl
Who is just a child of Irish rain
And our own kind of particular pain
As we live on the land
Our ancestors once couldn’t understand
As it was stolen from beneath them
Until someone bequeath them
Their own patch of ground
And do you hear the sound
Of the child cry
Why must I be the one to let her die?

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The Rulebook Betrays

She leads with the controlling rod
And do I blame her, because she believes in God
And it always must come with some martyrdom
Will I succumb
To the same old disease
Always praying on my knees
Instead of with my eyes locked
On that holy box
That houses the crystalline
And Jesus reminded me of the peace that’s mine
When he burst open my heart chakra
And you could set my love by the clock, ya
Don’t worry that it’s gonna fade
As the years jade
The ocean that once was incandescent blue
And it all matters coz its something to you
Someday in the scene
Do you know that the dream
Can wake up to
Itself in you
And realise that beyond form
Beyond the place where the body’s warm
There is a lessening of the storm
That pelts the windowpane
And is it all in vain
If I just let it pass me by
Because the rules made me cry
When you pushed me to the plate
And told me I had to wait
To be fulfilled
And some people are skilled
In betraying themselves
But it’s never been one of my strengths

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Ancient Troubles

There’s a man that sings about a drugs binge he’s been on 
Like how he’s been helluva gone
And I can’t help but empathise
Because there’s a kind of high that never dies
Even when you kill it with starvation
Or waiting for a boy at a train station
That only comes once in a blue moon
He rocks the atmosphere when he’s in the room
And I just let it be
Because I am free
Of all he tries to contain
If he was a cloud he would rain
All over my parade
If I am the sun then he is the shade
Of the tree my grandfather made for me
He placed a swing on a branch and us three
Share something that will never pass
I don’t care if you think it won’t last
My heart is as solid as serene
As anything is beyond the dream
And everyone is someone’s child
And every woman somewhere is wild
In her heart and soul
Even if she pays the toll
As she passes through the joint
As if she’ll gain an extra point
For due diligence and deference
I gave Deirdre a second chance
But I may as well have talked to the wind
Coz she is fixated on how she has sinned
And aims to take me with her
And I get a little bitter
In the years that pass
Under the realm of the crass
And the key to my soul won’t speak to me
I wonder if I’m just letting her be free
Or if I’m resigned to the fate
Of looking for some guy to date
So that I might be whole
Coz I left her with my soul
And she is the keeper of that part
In the greater region of my heart
As it beats red and true
Pumping oxygen for all of you

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People I’m Not Safe With

People I’m not safe with 
So I play the bitch
To keep the simper out of my zone
I prefer being alone
But he forces his way in
With his nations of appropriate sin
And his deference to a sky
That only leads a person to die
And he sold me out to the weather
Just so he could feel the heather
Beneath his feet
Is this the love that he bequeath
As I confess my subtle heart
To someone that made it start
And let me believe
That a heart could be worn on a sleeve
But the aching thunder rolls
Between us two souls
As they try to cover up
The way I uttered my love
Coz it would look bad for family
For me to be professing eternity
To a stranger on the grass
But the damn thing last
All throughout St. Pat’s
And all of their baseball bats
As they hit me hard and true
As though they want to kill the memory of you
On my skin
And every time I look at him
I see you
Bursting through
Do I go back on the book
Just so I can look
At you marry some other female
All rocks are sand in the vale
Of death as the hourglass pours
Do you love all of your whores?

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Forgiving DeeViate

Do I hold onto that grudge
That had me trudge
Through the snow
For an eon you know
But it was also the birth of the sun
Stellar as no one
Was in my corner
And no one thought to warn her
Of the advance of time
That would steal everything that’s mine
But this time the brunt of the bitch
Didn’t burst every single stitch
Yes, it hurt and I cried
Like I always do after the silence has died
In the aftermath of the quiet
There is an unholy riot
That burns my city down
But this town
Just seems to go round and round
And the land absorbs the sound
I never wanted to leave
But something in me believe
That I never would have found you
If I had not chanced the blue
Of Dublin via Dun Laoghaire
And some part of me thought you feared me
When I would stop and stare into your soul
And I know we’re not growing old
Though I don’t know if we’ll speak again
It’s complicated when it comes to men
Coz I don’t want to give the wrong impression
But my confession
Is that I love deep and true
At the drop of a hat when I met you
And you are not in my past
You are in the heart that will everlast
And somewhere in the ocean
This emotion
Will reveal
To you how I feel
For you now and forever
And I will never
Shut you out
You don’t have to doubt
In that fact
I just turned back
The way I came
And I will never be the same
As I was before
But you gave me someone to adore
And do I talk about death
And the pain I cannot forget
The crucify
Hearing the phone ring and I
Just know it’s gonna be bad news
Because swans always swim in two’s
And when you lose your other half
You also lose the ability to laugh
And somewhere in the scene
Something kind woke the dream
So I don’t have to go down that path
But I keep going back
To fourteen
And the queen
Of all hell
Rained on me and I never tell
Of her secret heart
Coz she swore me to a silence I can’t rip apart
And she wrote me a letter
To apologise, it didn’t make it any better
Coz the damage had already been done
So I let her go and no one
Could ever replace
The beauty of her face
But it’s not a human race
So I slow down and let her pass by
Because some day I will die
And I can’t live like this
Til suddenly I am His
And I can do is say thanks
For the way she made me walk the plank

The Shortest Way

Is moving on what you call it these days
When you untangle yourself from your codependent ways
And I loved your stubble and brash
But you were always asking me for cash
That I never had
And I know you feel really bad
In the places that hurt
And I don’t want to make anything worse
As I cry down the line
It’s you and I for all of time
In the Gaslamp Quarter of San Diego
But my whole heart is el fuego
In the burn of a fuse
Because I have it all to lose
When you get that look in your eyes
Not everybody lives but everybody dies

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Ag Féachaint An Troiblóid

There is a power in witnessing the pain
Like there’s a strength that stands out in rain
And getting soaked through the skin
I was saturated by him
And I was fliuch báite go craiceann
And if you have any doubts it was you, young Ken
Would I do it again
If that was the price to pay
But I’m not sure it was that way
I could feel the pulverise
When you looked me in the eyes
And if only one of us cries
I want to make sure it’s me
So that you are free of history
And, I, of the loss that comes with renegadery
Do you believe in infinity
And if you do then what are we
Burning and turning eternally
On the one axis we spin
Then I see her with him
And everything collapses into my hands
Like grains of sand that never land
On the beach I picked them from
Are you really gone
If you have someone to hold
Does it negate our fields of gold
You know the ones we ran through
When I was young and twenty one with you
On a Facebook screen
Like I’m dancing with a dream
I made all by myself
Is my wealth
Imaginary
And do you dare me
To live without it
I doubt it
Could ever be
I won’t trade it in so I let you go free
And feel the reverberate
But something about that soul wait
For me to come back to base
It’s not in the stars I chase
But the ground I stand upon
Would you maybe write me a song?

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Open Heart, Open Mind

She said there’s nothing worse than bearing an untold story inside of you 
So I finally open up
To you to say they broke my cup
When I offered them a glass
And I never thought to ask
The saints if it was safe
Now all I want is to escape
And death may be appealing
But I amn’t dealing
And don’t want a finite end
I would rather have a friend
And I found one in you
I think you may have found it in me too
As you look at me with those desperate eyes
And I let you catch my sighs
As they fall from my lips
In the middle of an eclipse
And there is nothing wrong with me
Except for the fact I’ve been set free
Of the chains no one can escape
Until they fall victim to the shape
Of water in the mirror
And I cannot hear her
Anymore
Because her closed door
Will never open to my pounds
And the sounds
She makes when she’s mad
Would make anyone feel bad
But I forgive her errant storm
For never being able to keep me warm
For it raged in her
And destroyed everything we ever were
Like shattered glass on the floor
But I took the pieces and made a mosaic to adore
Like a stained glass window in a chapel
Like a wild woman riding a capall
Through the woods or forest
Lord above, please keep me honest
In a world of lies
Where all the futile tries
Are brutalised
And the disguise
Is only just to say
That I chose to have it this way

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The Dragon You Slay

You keep your dreams in a locked box
And you keep telling me what I’m not
Just so I can be what you are
But I keep wishing upon a star
To take me far, far
Far away from here
And though I love you, dear
I can’t crumble to the ash you crave
Always looking to be saved
By an incandescent night
I’ve waited long enough to be the light
That I will always remain
I will turn to love from the pain
That’s been given me
I’m not the dragon you slay, you see

Direct Experience

She comes in with her sneaking suspense
An innocent question, it’s all the past tense
Yet her aim is to guide, her aim is to rule
And it’s like I am still in school
When her might comes to pass
And there are secrets at Mass
I feel them in the riverbeds of society
Questioning the worth of me
As I stand as I am
Outside her plan
Of the perfect role
I questioned her about soul
And her reply
Made some part of me want to die
Like a hidden gem
I hold the heart of a hundred men
Close to my chest
And they all swear they love me best
But the truth is I
Am made for the sky
And whenever the cloud dissipates
It’s then the ocean appreciates
All it has come to know of blue
Because it is reflecting something of you
And every rainy day
Is just another way
The earth kisses the air
I know it’s true because I was there

In Lies And Hypocrisy

If she don’t get by on truth
She’ll be the pulverise of my youth
And she has her reason and her source
But she rarely shows remorse
For what she has done
She says she follows the Son
But how can she look back
And not see the attack
She launched with her steady rock
As she assumes what I’m not
And seeks to bring back to life
That old dead wife
That I used to be
Now I’m young and set free
In the age of the old and weary
You don’t need to fear me
Just stay clear
When you want to lie to me, dear
I’m not down for the ride
As I leave your side
For the green pasture
And the Rastafari
Have a clue about light
And Sam may be alright
But I can’t follow that path
Nor the one of the god of wrath
That we sat through in fifth class
I know you believe but I’ll pass
On that particular lesson
And his absence is a blessing
I didn’t know how to count at eleven
But now I don’t need to believe in heaven
To be complete
I don’t need to wash anybody’s feet
Just to tick the box
The saviour came and undid the locks
And now I smile
Though no one’s seen it for a while

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What Was I Thinking?

I let them take me to hell
All the time they wished me well
And put me through the crucify
And if I didn’t want to die
In the beginning, I did by the end
The kind of torture when you don’t have a friend
Who will save you from the wolves
So I let it go as the pain pulls
Me into it’s own frame of mind
It was easier than being left behind
By the man I love
They say his glove
Don’t fit my hand
But it’s just that they don’t understand
The mechanics of the thing
And an angel with a broken wing
Will always look to sky
To find a reason why
The emotion is not to be found
In any degree of sight or sound
And she pushes the door back open
When I was just hoping
To be on my own
Now the birds have flown
On that particular piece of ground
And all the injustices abound
In the leaves that fall
I look at her as I walk down the hall
To the death squadron firing guns
They say Mother Earth loves all her sons
But some wield a battle axe
Some take it to the max
And some just fall short of that
I’d say it’s okay but it’d be old hat

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Some Kind Of Ping

Infringing on my liability 
You are walking on thin ice with me
Coz though I look like I go with the flow
I’m as independent as much as it doesn’t show
And I follow the beat of my own drum
And I do not succumb
To the oncoming wave
And I don’t need anybody to save
Me from myself
And she’s only after the wealth
I can see it in her eyes
When she drops the disguise
And I wonder would she turf me out
If it meant that she could shout
From the highest rooftop
I play the bad cop
And lock it away
There are things I shouldn’t say
Coz they are too true
And when it comes down to it I see through you
As flippant as the air
So nonchalant and barely there
And though I love you to your bones
I know that you would leave me alone
If it meant you could be free
I left with a degree
In what could never be said
Do you sleep well when you lie in bed?

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Simple As That

Meeting Joe Black was the end of my life
The birth of the Son and the last of the wife
That had ever been in my veins
I dried my eyes on sleeves that are tear stained
And he looked so soft and serene
Til he tore through my dream
With a knife and an attitude
Coz he was a really cool dude
And he had a point to prove
He could never lose
To a girl
Coz the world
Only ever appreciates
A woman for who she dates
And she’s chosen you
And now you don’t know what to do
So you just set a fire
And I tire
Of this leadránach
So I leave you for the shock
Of your life
I won’t say it twice
As I give you every chance
To ask me to the dance
And when you don’t
Well I won’t
Stick around
To be the sound
You love to hear
But only when no one else is near
And you can hide
Behind the facade you hate inside
Because all you ever do
Is hop scotch between the lines that you want to
Really cross
But all is not lost
Maybe someday your light
Will meet it’s own Jean White

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Intriguing Blues

I want him so bad that it literally hurts
And as time’s going on it’s only getting worse
As he comes and goes, close then far
Says he’s born from the farthest star
And I hold out
Coz I’ve got that doubt
Is he the man I want to marry
Does he see me as an equal or just someone to carry
His child somewhere in the future
And I had a wound but he was the suture
That tied it up and kept it in
Healed my soul with that irreverent grin
And his eyes dart to and fro
I wonder where his mind would go
If he could read mine
I know I shine
And I’m a gem in the dark
It’s just you sorta hit the mark
Right on the head
And I know you want me in your bed
As you tell me lies
Think I buy the disguise
You’re selling with the full of your heart
Is it just because you want a part
Of me for your own
To impress upon me what could be known
With your help
And is there anyone else
In this whole scene
That could wake me, then take me from the dream
And you’re shy in a certain way
Not in the usual bashful sway
But in a kind of sensitivity
When you tell the truth and then look at me
As though I would judge and turn you out
But instead I want to kiss your mouth
Coz this is more than intimacy
When I trust in what you’re saying to me
And it didn’t break
It’s just I wake
From a slumber that was self induced
Startled by what you produced
In your ardent soul
Do you think we could make our parts whole
If we just dropped the pretence
I think that my defence
Is the thing that separates
Me from men I’d love to date
And that barrier
Between what we were
Fell right on through
And even though I seem distant from you
Nothing’s changed
I love guys that are sort of strange

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The Armour Reflects The Light

Against my better judgement I take these pills
I’m losing my mind like I’m losing skills
And I’m scared that they will wear my brain away
Like I am a knot and it’s started to fray
But it’s gotta be better than wandering the night
They say that I’m insane and I give up, alright
Allow them to ring in a decree
And proclaim what they think they know of me
And everyone agrees, they’ve got it all on check
And what I was seeing was strange and I wreck
The picture every time I seem to see
People trying to frame you and me
And Alan was cool like they had on the system
I walked away, you could say that I missed him
And everyone in their cracked portrait there
We’re just examples of how people care
And they say that if you go and show
You’re enlightened well then you know
You’ll be locked up by the brigade at sea
And I think that may have been what happened to me
And I fight and war with what they pronounce
Only another one to denounce
Like sleeves of silk and cotton up your arm
The meditation room the only charm
As there was music and CD’s
To ameliorate my supposed disease
And I made friends and I struck a light
In the room for squares I was held that night
And the awning gap just spells the chasm
What more can I say but that she has him
For now, for forever, but not with me
I gulp another one down with dignity