Secret Garden

Trying to get away from fourteen
The lightning strike to wake the dream
And I just wander in Gary’s halls
He’s seeing through summer and seeing through walls
As he paints a refraction of some kind of Grace
Always with his heart in open space
And I met him one time as I stood in the queue
And Johnny looked up and said how are you
And I couldn’t meet your eyes, your perfect gaze
Do you know all the people you save
With your slight of hand and dignified tone
Don’t ever feel that you are alone
Because sunshine is summer as your toes greet
The river that flows with the remnant of sleet
And everyone knows and everyone cares
But seldom is the one who dares
To take that splinter and show the sky
I know you said you’re afraid to die
But there’s something immortal, eternal in you
And I think that you might sense it to be true
As you sing with your whole heart and let the love be
You don’t know it but you mean the world to me
The times may be dark but they’re leading out
To a place beyond any doubt
Where you reside and live in peace
I can feel the place that the war cease
I can feel the summer beyond the tide
The place where true love will always abide
And it woke me with a start but I’m finally seeing
That there is a whole new way of being
And I thought you should know you were the sound
When there was nobody else around
To go calling out to or knocking on doors
I didn’t ask but you gave me more
And more than I could ever be
Open your eyes coz you can see
That Heaven is present in this moment abide
So don’t you ever feel you have to hide
Your darkness in the midst of all the snow
Your winter’s a place I love to go
And trip the light against the scene
The fabric of the universe is just a dream
And it will reveal itself to you
If you wait in the halls of I want to
And I guess I just felt I should let you in
On the joke that God has been playing
As I saw it in the sky that spring in school
That there is a wealth beyond the rule
That everyone lives by and swears their life
I found a place beyond and it is alright
And if you’re ever feeling misty and could use a refresh
There’s a place you can go, I’m sure you can guess
Hidden in the heart of every soul
Is the secret garden where you are whole
And you don’t need to fight and you don’t need to trouble
Don’t need to go bursting anyone’s bubble
Just find what you seek by looking true
The answer is waiting to be revealed to you
All it needs is a gentle hush
Like you’ve been pulling a door you’re supposed to push
Against to open up the day
I gotta say thanks to you, okay?
Coz you lifted me up and you were my friend
Amongst all the hollows I cannot amend
Amongst the shattered glass I stood up from
I didn’t mean the wait to be so long
As I gain strength and realise
That you can’t be caught in a web of lies
If you realise what’s true
It’s real and it’s talking to you
And if you can hear it it means that there
Is a faculty in you for the power of prayer
Of silent transmission, of deep and serene
People walk round like they know what they’ve been
Or what they decide to let go and be
The dreamer is waking up to see
That the love will always be home
And you never walk one single day alone
But always held and guided by
A beauty you don’t have to try
To see because it’s always there
I must let you know that there is care
In every spiraling galaxy whole
I love you with the strength of my soul


Photo by Bailey Zindel on Unsplash.com

Love’s Everywhere

I need to write in Morse code
Coz to tell our story would be an ode
And we’ve got leaves of times gone by
And you always promised me sky high
As I take your hand and we lift and soar
Into a future I can’t see anymore
Coz you’re ancient, you’re beautiful, you are all the trees
And an Angel of Mercy picked me up off my knees
So I could stand as the wind goes round
It spirals but I’m solid ground
And I dunno about ages, I dunno about time
But somewhere you will always be mine
In a storybook or on a page
I seem to write like a sage
In professions of what’s true
The slipping sands of me and you
Coz we are born to fade away
A moment of sun before the day
Closes into night like a cyclical thing
And every bird knows how to sing
The silence like it’s true and real
I thought you should know how I feel
So I put it in a letter, left it at your door
But I won’t bother you anymore
And you know where I am if you feel to reply
I’m always in the same space to fly
On the beauty that I own
Love’s everywhere, I’m not alone

Dancing With Diamonds

Jakob Owens on Unsplash.com
Just another day of Diamonds
He laughs then takes my hand
And I can feel the wind in the way we’ve sinned
Saying that we’ll both be grand
He’s like the dew in the morning
Light to the touch
And I think that he knows
That I love him so much
As I avoid his stare
But I’m still all there
As he moves in close to my face
And there’s something I can’t replace
Like when we split the coin in Liverpool
And we’re acting like two kids in school
Laughing in all the wrong places
And he kind of crinkles his face
To let me know that he’s okay
That silence is in what I can’t say
And it’s been years
But it’s also right now
And he carries
The lightning somehow
In his pocket as he storms up a scene
And I swore those days were like a fucking dream
Young and wild and free as the air
There was no cost that we didn’t spare
As we paid with our hearts
Did we know that we’d part
Somewhere in the crystalline
But there was a moment dazzling was mine
In his effortless
And the kind of mind you can’t second guess
In his sincere
And the way he was just so near
As he smiles at me and holds my stare
I know he loved me because I was there
And tomorrow’s an avenue
And they past’s a monument
And I ran from the scene
Coz I can’t give you what you want
But do you think somewhere
Among all the tears
We could make up
The wasted years
And just hold hands
And lie in bed
You caught me with messy hair
And my face went red
But in the moment it’s okay
Because in your eyes
I’m whole, full of soul
Nothing to aggrandize
And you’re still there
Somewhere, somehow
Some kind of enchanted
That I’ll allow
As sparks fly
In the rhythm section
And I think you’ve got me down
Til I pull an inflection
But we’re so serene
And if we’re in this together then you’re a dream
In your fiery ways
You’re the kind of home that simply stays
Exactly where it’s always been
If I cut the lights could I be your queen
Coz you star my sky with little lights
And we make up after all our fights
As we just embrace
I loved you once now I’m in space
That you open for me
And I never knew wings til they set me free
And I’ve just got to express
That those days in that dress
Make me miss your beautiful warmth
The kind of hearth that mocks the storm
Would you be by my side
If I said let truth abide
And hold you close
I let you in, now you’re making a toast
As I video phone
The moment so when I’m alone
I can watch the replay
Do you know I love you more, okay?
And there have been pilgrimages
To foreign lands
But I’ll think of you
In the slipping sands
So much older now
But something is as it was somehow
Brimming full of angels that sing our song
It’s been more than a decade since you belong
And I meditate
On what exactly it means to be in that state
But I can’t repair
The feeling of you not being there
Til you speak aloud
Are you for real, I thought you were too proud
But you’re cutting the ribbon
And Lord, I forgive him
For never let me know in time
Do you think you could just be mine?

The Stars We Face

That he might be under the same sky
Thinking of me
Makes the ocean of waves
Roar with the sea
And I’ve got fire
And tenacity
But there are forests of green
I’ve yet to be
And he’s cool as a breeze
And warm as the air
Coming up from the Azores
Without a care
And what do you think
This planet would be
If it wasn’t populated
By humanity
Could you walk without fear
Roam without a care
I only know pride
Because he is there
And I only know windows
Coz I’ve looked so long
Into the spaces
Where he seems to be gone
And all of the avenues
All the winding paths
Just seem to keep leading me
The same way back
To his doorstep
At the edge of the woods
I can say that I’m here
This time for good
And the wind it howls
And pulls at my dress
But there’s something right here
I’ve got to confess
That I love you always
Unconditionally true
And I’m only ever wishing
The best for you
But it seems times have changed
And the world’s turned around
And maybe you’re listening
To my kind of sound
As it plays on the radio
Frequency waves
And there’s something about
A hero who saves
Me from the lies
With a single glance
We’re in the car park
But do you want to dance
Would you take my hand
Do I regret that tome
Where I wandered wilderness
All alone
Only to find
Your hand in mine
You are for always
Always for all time

Unfathomably Deep

There was that time
I tried to drink you out
But my foundations were not shaken
And I couldn’t even doubt
That you were the one for me
Now I don’t know how you are
But I feel you cosmically
A white hot burning star
Somewhere in the avenues
Or in the everglades
I don’t mean to be funny
But where’d you get your shades
Coz you’re looking mighty fine
With your cool as hell stare
And I can’t apologize
For what just wasn’t there
Only promise you that I
Love with the full of my soul
And when the waves cascade
It’s then I hear them roll
Calling out your name
Like an old riverbend
Was I wrong or right
For ever having clicked send
And I just can’t bring myself
To take back the day
When the moment faced my soul
And I said okay
Give in to all the longing
All the heated prose
If you’re looking for some words
Do you know just who you chose
Someone who could compose
Sonnets of your name
And if you’re wondering if I’ve changed
Well I’m still the same
Still am party to
A little bit of wine
And everytime I’m asked
I’ll say that I am fine
Coz I don’t want to torch
This wooden fence I’ve grown
From the rubble of the woods
That once were seeds I’d sown
Now they’re all a garden gate
And the forest that you see
Is uncharted and unknown
A pure mystery
So please do not go rambling
If you do not mean to stay
I’m made for forever
I’m just built that way
And can never give in
To the stride of the day
Don’t worry ‘bout the love
It’s just the modern way
And I’m ancient and I’m grieving
And I’m all over the place
But I am strong and I’m willful
You don’t have to second guess my face
In the brooks and in the rivers
That are running wild
And there are some parts of me
That are still a child
Innocent and foolhardy
And so like a stone
Except for quiet company
I live my life alone
Far away from the auspices
Of who you’d think to ask
When I take a sip
I drink it from a flask
And keep up with all the weather
As it’s changing every hour
I’m always sitting waiting
For that one thousand petalled flower
In the deep of time and weight
Slowly to succumb
I look at all the rocks
Amid the diamonds I’ve become
And wonder what a season
Would take in these parts
I never knew it till I answered
With the full of my heart

Swallowed Up By The Silence


Swallowed up by the silence
I can feel the river rush
And in the warmth of the depth
I can feel infinity’s touch
And the waves they crash
And the storms come and go
The branch or the bough
The tree that you know
Will it hold the weight
Of all we’ve come to be
It takes a midnight
For the dawn to see
What it finally means
For the sun to cascade
I trust in the Lord
Coz it’s me that he save

Judgement

I blame the doctors for their prejudicial minds
And it’s my own pride I seem to find
As I stigmatize the fear of being unwell
With all the secrets I do not tell
As the brave stand up to say
There are days I’m not okay
And I find that I admire
The way he stokes my roaring fire
With his honesty and his sincere
And I’m always gonna hold him dear
Like a soul brother out there somewhere
But touch the cracks I do not dare
Coz they are all sealed with gold
And stories that have never been told
As I see the sunrise
It’s like the dawn of morning in your eyes
As you open a new day
I love you babe, I hope that’s okay

Ocean Of Peace

Somewhere on the dark side of the moon
I see a friend and ask him if there’s room
For me to sit beside and smoke my pipe
He says that’s grand, shur you’re alright
And we sit there in the blazing heat
With the warmth of the sun heating our feet
Coz though you can’t see it from the earth
Not all of love is made to hurt
And sometimes the shine goes unseen
Like the wealth of weight from a nocturne dream
Drapes it’s heavy veil on us
But there’s something you can always trust
That what’s spherical must abide
And remind you of what’s inside
As it revolves around a star
The black hole essence of what you are
The singularity at the beginning of time
The mystery that makes me rhyme
And find a beat, a steady flow
Coz I never know where these things will go
Just believe in what I’m given
Gifted with a will so driven
That I must remake the sky
With a million light years in my eye

The Last Train

Loving you is like waiting on the last train
It’s like standing out in the pouring rain
I’m jealous of the drops of water that fall on your head
I’m jealous of the blankets that cover you in bed
And I’m always so well defined
And you’re always away but I don’t mind
And though the paper is written in ink
Of all of the things I shouldn’t think
But just sway to the breeze
And you stay only to leave
But I don’t mind welcoming you back
It’s not like you take something I lack
And everything is in boxes that they stack
And if you look I’ll pick up the slack
And rush to the shore
As you say you don’t want me anymore
And I just remember the festival
And the way I let it go to hell
Fighting to be my own dear self
I can’t share this with anyone else
And then I met you, you just turned to me
It’s like the waters parted and I could see
Like you held eternity
In a single glance, what are we?
And you smiled, just so, down into my eyes
It’s like you saw right through the disguise
And now it’s like I walk on one foot
And you said no like the sharpest cut
As I hold out strong in the weather
And I’m just dreaming of you in the heather
And how far you are away
The bridge is broken so we cannot stay
Like Sora and Kairi or the Marching Bands
The waves come to kiss the lands
But keep us at the distance we know
I hope you are well and that your clock runs slow
So that you have many years in reserve
And it’s always the greatest that you serve
While I watch and just observe
The moment you see that I’ve got nerve!


Photo by Balazs Busznyak on Unsplash.com

Isn’t That The Way

I hate the pain
Isn’t that what they say
But I couldn’t have had it
Any other way
And you kick your shoes
Up in the dirt
I never knew love
Could make you hurt
But I hold you fast
And pray that this moment last
But it was never enough
To quench my thirst
I’m a fire burning embers
As we argue across the genders
That seem to have accumulated between us
I dunno, do you think God dreamed us
Up into a sort of creation
It’s more than winter by the station
It is summer kissing booths
Reliving the passion of our youth
But I’m all but done with photo albums
I feel the pound of beating drums
Calling me back to your door
And I fainted on the floor
Yes, right out of my standing
To the dreams that they are handing
Out like they’re truth
And you just take aim and shoot
Your bullet at my heart
Your aim is good, I feel the dart
Strike me sharp and true
Am I marked with the brand of you
Or am I forever effervescent
Meeting you in essence
I let the fire go
But I still burn with it, you know


Photo by Freddy Kearney on Unsplash.com

Rising Water

The water rises
The fish it swims
And it seems like the sky’s
Getting closer to him
As he follows in circles
Patterns on the lake
There’s no talk of forgiveness
For the one he forsake
And there’s no talk of trouble
For idle thoughts
Does the fisherman tangle
With tackle he’s bought
And the shoes we’re all wearing
Do they know where they’re going
Coz the train of time
Doesn’t look like it’s slowing
And we’re all on this ride
Just in different seats
Do you fold your arms
Or uncross your feet
And do the sages speak truth
To the ears that you hear
Is nirvana further away
Or closer with fear
Coz we all resist
Our own enlightenment
It’s kind of like you’re a ghost
And you’ve frightened it
So now it won’t
Come out from where it hid
So you make some noise
Til it flips the lid
On the place it had found
To cover itself
But are you abandoning
All of your wealth
As you leave the world
Of thought that bind
Are you nostalgic for all
You’ve left behind
Or do you open your arms
To a new dawn
And realise that nothing
Is ever gone
That can’t be brought back
In another form
Is the sun hot?
Well, how are you warm?
And do you second guess
The wrath of the storm
One minute there’s pain
Then a baby born
Amid all the fray
And the stuff you see
If you blink your eyes
Is the darkness free
Or just momentary
To eclipse
Your names like a prayer
That sits on my lips
And if only I
Could communicate
It’s likely I’d pull
Both of us out of that state
Into the river
Where we’re rushing and free
You didn’t make a mistake
When you chose me


Photo by Silas Biasch on Unsplash.com

The Calm Amid The Storm

There’s a blizzard brewing
There’s a storm atremble
And things are beyond
What they used to resemble
As the new earth is birthed
Into consciousness
Don’t go saying
It doesn’t exist
Just close your eyes
And feel the breeze
Forgiving you
Get up off your knees
And stand firm
Stand strong, stand true
As the winds are howling
All around you
Make your stance
On a solid foundation
It’s a peaceful sort of
Education
As you trust the silence
To ever be
Whispering words
Of eternity
In the midnight, in the dawn
At the close of day
I just have this feeling
That it’s all okay
That we’re being taken care of
No matter what it seems
Don’t trust in the
Thin fabric of dreams
But on the rock
Where you plant your foot
Let the rain wash away
What you’re afraid of

Darkness Tremble

Trusting in the Christ
Was the best decision of my life
And I’m no girl to be a wife
Just one to bring the light
And I’ve always trusted in you
From the living room to the pew
Singing songs in tribute to
The glory and the faith I have in you
And darkness eventually came to call
I’m young and lying against a wall
Crying tears in a free for all
But you brought the love to stop the fall
And lift me up, now I’m on my feet
And I know there’s nothing I could meet
That would bring me defeat
Now that your mercy speak
For me amongst the chasm so bleak
How am I standing if I’m weak
And there’s nothing left to seek
Now that I’ve found that holy heat
That burns in the heart of me
A consciousness that’s been set free
As I proclaim eternity
In every blade of grass that I see
Called upon to be the voice
To speak silence in the noise
And draw all souls into you
Just tell me what to do

Camera Phones

We’re all muscle and bone
And I’m mad so leave me alone
Coz you don’t understand
And you don’t see what I have planned
And you’re lovely and angelic
And perfect prose
I see you stare
At me through the rows
Of people lined up in there
And I know you care
I can see it in your face
Your visage a mirage I can’t erase
In beautiful light
Wherever ya are I hope you’re alright
And you just kind of stood strong
And I think you liked me but I could be wrong
As you threw your arm around my shoulder
Are we wiser now that we’re older
Or just dull, grey and dumb
Replacing the vibrant of the young
Do you still burn
I could set my heart by your axis turn
And I live to learn
And you’re the one for which I yearn
In demons, dreams and spider webs
I wish I’d told the truth instead
Of hiding out among the fold
And your eyes they simply scold
As they try to figure me out
You’re so sure and I’m all doubt
As I falter another line
And you catch me the thousandth time
As I look you in the eye
It’s the kind of love that could never die
And that time you were drunk and you just stopped
When I said hi coz I think you’re hot
But I wouldn’t risk that when you’re sober
You lit up a dark October
With your sleight of hand
And that time you liked the band
You dreamboat, you
I really don’t know what to do
With the part of my heart you’ve carved into
Like I’m tree bark and you’re writing it true
In ink I’m maybe meant to see
You were so damn good to me
And I wonder where you are right now
I let my walls down, I’ll allow
You to know me real
I meant it when I let you feel
The closeness of my soul to yours
And there’s something that my heart adores
In your heavenly glow
I could see myself with you, you know

Peace In The Modern Age

Peace in the modern age
Is looking towards the sage
And the guidance that they issue forth
Whether I’m in a cave or on your porch
And there’s no need to bang on doors
Or be windswept on the moors
For love to come true
It lives in the heart of you
And fire ignites but the Spirit knows
That where the path leads It goes
Down subtle lanes or foggy marsh
You’re not alone in the dark
Coz its guidance never leaves
It doesn’t need you to believe
Only trust and let go
Have faith in what you do not know
Nor can you ever understand
How It holds you in Its palm
And you are never left unfulfilled
Because the Love of God is willed

Days With Darragh

There were days with Darragh
When my point of view was decidedly narrow
He saw me like a girl, I saw him like a friend
It has been years though and it doesn’t end
As I still reflect on his heartbeat
When we danced with both our feet
And shine with all our might
I can’t ignore your candlelight
And your fire that just burn
It’s more than degrees we earn
As we spend time into each other’s company
And I’m always thinking, what does he want of me
But he just smiles and looks in my eyes
I let go camouflage I keep to disguise
The darkness in the heart of my soul
But he just surfs the waves that I roll
And then laughs when he sees my car
Buys me a drink at the bar
And makes me smile, makes me laugh
And he does it all without me needing to ask
And I wonder does his fire sign match mine
As we dance to the rhythm of the rhyme
And he’s red as a burning flame
I’m surprised he even remembers my name
But his is etched upon my skin
I loved him so I let him in
Let him see the hesitate
And he just pulls me out of that state
And never ever makes me wait
But breaks apart into something new
I don’t know if you know who you are, do you?


Photo by Jonathan Cooper on Unsplash.com

The Forest

Growing out of the old tree
There are rings around the best of me
As I try to be tall and strong
But the wind blows to prove me wrong
In the forest with all my peers
Scattered light to crystal clear
The pine floor for the girl who walks
And it’s to those beings that she talks
And hears their reply like the soul in the air
She wasn’t home til she went there
And lay down under their canopy
Living love like a recipe
To fathom days that have lost their weight
And she has given up on hate
Coz it only defeats itself
Like icicles in sun to melt
And she squares up with the cards she’s been dealt
And the monumental that she’s felt
It’s all come to naught but here
She’s still among friends so dear
That listen as they simply sway
She sighs and would not have it any other way

Fangirling The Music

I see him in my minds eye
Talking to me and I almost cry
Because he’s been my hero since I was fourteen
Walking the cobblestones of almost been
And I’m moody and sad and no one understands
But I’ve found one of the coolest bands
With my music player and my hoodie
I am my own bestest buddy
As I walk up the land in the cold and the dusk
And there’s something in this sound that I can trust
And everything is loss, it’s all taken away
And I’m older at the close of day
As I see through the apparent facade
That it’s all pulled away isn’t bad
But you won’t know it yet, my dearest child
It’s only the beginning of a life in the wild
But you’re hollow and lonely and you kick your shoes
In the dirt like the dust rising gives you the blues
But the depth turns to awesome
The darkness to sky
And in the night
You don’t have to lie
Only find what’s there to be discovered
It’s almost like his music finally uncovers
The expanse of freedom that’s there to find
Don’t worry over what isn’t so kind
You’ll find your worth in more than she say
There’s a sunrise to mark the break of day
Only it’s eternal and never fades
It’s bright as the sun but you don’t need shades
In the white light of pure consciousness
I found freedom and I confess
I owe the steady hand to Snow Patrol
They kind of dove deep into my soul
And if I’m ever a success I’m gonna find that guy
Write him a letter to try
To elucidate something real
You open the door on what it is to feel
And mountains and valleys are nothing to you
I bet if time stopped you’d just walk through
To where you’ve always been
If life is Love then you’re the Unseen

Photo by Dmitry Schemelev on Unsplash.com

Let’s Not Repeat The Past

Violence seems to have been endemic 
As one fights the other for what they have
And there’s oceans of pain
Touching the land
Let’s not repeat the past
Where brother fights brother
There’s no “civil” war
It’s always hurting another
And there are parts of the world
Where they cannot eat
Why don’t we provide
Instead of pound our feet
On pavements grey
As blank as our souls
How could we leave sisters and others
To the cold
Coz we have the capacity
The ingenuity
To grow out of
What we’re told to be
As I stare at my phone
To find an answer
But they said it better
Human as dancer
And we’ve all got spirit
We’ve all got heart
And there are people
Who can’t stand to be apart
And others who know
In the depths of their being
That this story we live
Is just something we’re seeing
And we can grow tall
But when we wake up
We see that it was
All held in love
And dynamic as breathing
Is the answer to all that we’re needing
And I’m from a nation
That’s been beaten and bruised
Slaves for another
Is how we were used
As we till our land
Then hand over
The bread that we need
That’s some four leafed clover
And there’s defiance and pride
There’s anger and rebel
But fighting the evil
Only sends you to hell
As we can attest
After all the years
Centuries
Of crying tears
And growing up
Found me strong
But I was always too prone
To point out the wrong
And it found me in a room
With my head in my hands
Attesting to
All those slipping sands
But adversity made me
And now I can stand
And say that under the storm
There’s land
That will hold steady
Under your feet
And they grow the crop
But they can’t eat
As we use and usurp
The imbalance we own
There’s no hiding it
It’s commonly known
So how do we change
What seems so entrenched
Do you ever run out
In rain and get drenched
To you ever just feel
The wind on your skin
Can you let go
Can you let it begin?
As the motion of movement
The breath of change
Gathers all the atoms
And will rearrange
If we’re just willing
To be the avenue
The vehicle
That was given to you
Where is your heart
Your purpose right here
What do you love
What do you hold dear
Can you be total
In what you do
Or is life just a drag
That is pulling on you
Lowly and heavy
In deadening sound
After years in the snow
Did we finally hit ground
And can we make
Our castles on rock
Or maybe create
Something that’s not
Ever been heard of
Or ever been seen
What’s your personal legend
What is your dream
Can we reverse
The damage we’ve made
As a child I was
Always safe in the shade
But there are people who labour
In the hot sun
Others that live
And die by the gun
There’s got to be other ways
Than what we’ve created
I see life as abundant
Though it’s already been stated
That we’re transforming
Into a new species
Graciousness
Replacing facetious
Can we be aware
Of the fire in our soul
The substratum
That is effortlessly whole
As we beat our own hearts
As one people united
I let go of the war
Coz I cannot fight it
I let go of the hatred
Coz it is defeated
And I found Truth
Though I cannot speak it
It just announces itself
In silent tones
And I found teachers
On iPhones
From one trouble
To a Saviour
Do you think you could
Love your neighbour
As yourself
Is it underway
I think I see light
At the break of day



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Runaway Stars

I fall in love with a ten
Then resolve to never see them again
Because is to love to be caught
Is to give the same as bought
As he smiles and I see in his eyes
The dawn of a new sunrise
So I click escape on the dial
Say I was with you for a while
And for the first time someone doesn’t mind
Say I know you don’t leave behind
What you hold in your steady heart
I’ve trusted you from the start
And I am pulled back into his gaze
I don’t need you to try and save
Me but could you hold still
While I let you see my deepest will
That love be shared and all adored
Coz he said no and I was floored
But I picked myself up from where I lay
I smiled at you and it’s okay
And you’re just talking really fast
But we got time, this is gonna last
Though I don’t know how, where or when
But I know I’m gonna see you again
And the map is full of uncharted places
You are deep and you make spaces
For all and everyone
And I’m okay but I’m not done
See I’ve got to show you the sky
The patterns where the Heavens lie
As they unfold from above
And everything I see is love
Not just a moment or two
But every second I spent with you
Do you think you could love me free
So I can be who I’m meant to be
And profess my ardent devotion
In a quiet space without commotion
Do you think I could mean to you
Exactly what I want to
Or are the days all for passing
My attempts just harassing
You from the place where you stare
I just know that you were there
In the full fledged of an open heart
Can I tell you the truth and let it start
As we both breathe in the air
I’m just trying to be fair
To you now that I’m wild and free
I don’t know if you can rely on me
But he brushes my fraught attempts aside
Says that he can see me hide
And I don’t have to run away
I can be shy coz that’s okay
That it’s alright not to know
To be unsure where you go
But full of heart without reason
It’s every day that makes a season
It’s every night that makes a week
It’s in the silence you don’t speak
As he offers me his steady hand
Says you can trust the place we stand
You can let a garden grow
I look at him and just know
That I can let my diamond shine
He’s been there for me all this time

The Forest and the Memory

Am I just gonna have to let you go
Coz there doesn’t seem to be any way to know
That you are here and you are there
And you know I’ll always care
As the forest closes in on the memory of us
And I dunno where to place my trust
As the ages all fold one into the other
You’re my soulmate, yeah you’re my brother
And I really hope that you’re well
But there doesn’t seem to be any way to tell
Except just to live in the light
And pray to God that you’re alright

Abidance

I feel like I’m out of the loop
Now that I’m no longer sitting on the stoop
Like a lonesome bird
And what are the words that you think you have heard
Coz it all spiraled out of my control
When I tried to capture your soul
And you rebelled with a defiant stance
How dare I ask you to dance
But there was just this music, you mustn’t hear it
It’s beautiful and it crystal clears it
As the vision is foggy in the car
I still have no sense of what you are
Coz you defy definition in your design
And you are good looking, if you don’t mind
And I just want to write a tome to your earth
The reality that could never hurt
As you assuage
And I get really mad
But it’s no good
You still leave like I thought you would
But what I don’t understand
Is how any of this could’ve been preplanned
Or destiny
I watch you like you’re there for me
Though you move to the side
I stay on my own and abide

Questions For God

I trudged through the snow
I am miserable or don’t you know
No reply
Why on earth does everyone die
My feet crunch the ground
I savor the essence of unreciprocated sound
I mumble aloud
And relish the silence away from the crowd
And grumble two tone
Why do you always leave me alone?
It’s always like this
Together for a moment and then you just miss
All the ways you felt complete
The gravel groans beneath my feet
As I haul the bin up the hill
If only love was an effort of will
I could turn this around
But emptiness is the only sound
And I cherish the day
He looked in my eye and then looked away
It’s in a video reel
And for years anger is all that I feel
How dare you take him away
There’s no point reaffirming that he cannot stay
But the eyes are all empty as I look for a reason
A kind of vacancy that is all out of season
Perhaps my misery
Will prove how much he meant to me
But the anguish just twists
And I merely coexist
With the essence of death
Counting each in and out of my breath
Or heartbeat
It’s iambic pentameter against my feet
Anyway
I don’t believe in what they say
They’re all crying
And then proclaim Heaven is for the dying

Flashback, it’s been twenty years
So I question my thoughts and dry my tears
To the age of youth
And the darkness of day the sun didn’t suit
But I found him there, among the ashes and the rubble
He looked at me and burst my little bubble
And I give thanks to what once I hate
The God of Love to make me irate
By stealing all I could call my own
I’m lying in bed and praying for home
But it never comes
Oh, the trauma of being young
I’m undone
And somehow I feel this song has been sung
By someone
Years before I begun
It’s getting old
Like the body I hold
And the days are all long
Then suddenly short
And all of the principles that I exhort
Prove to be vain
And I stand outside in the pouring rain
To catch the air
Do you believe in the power of prayer
To let go into
Can I be
Something more
Than destiny
Because this body I wear
Is all athletic and long brown hair
Do you resonate
With what is only a temporary state
We’re all on the move
From the moment of spark to the point that I prove
What have you got to lose
Only the worldview you live to excuse
What don’t you settle here
Under a tree as it breathes you clear

I snap out of it
Is to give in the same as to quit
And I’m going with it
A sort of defiance I never admit
But the beer bottle’s empty and I’m reaching for wine
I am the queen of a helluva time
But really it’s empty coz I cannot decide
Which stop is my own if this life is a ride
I breathe in the air
And think of the way he suddenly stare
A moment out of time
Like immortal just stepped out of line
And my gumption and war
I don’t know what this is for
As I twirl his name
On my fingernails like it’s just the same
As yesterday
He pierced the veil then went away
And I love him so
But goodbyes around every corner, you know
And I wish and hope
He’s found someone real, something cool, something dope
But anyway
Returning to that which I cannot say
It hit me like light
And set a fire to ignite
And I’m all the trees
The wood of could you ever believes
And I see his face
A recognition no time could erase
To be angry at God
Give him back to me again, oh Lord
But it doesn’t work that way
Apparently and what I say
Falls on deaf ears
And is it just temper to coax the tears
Until I can’t stop them and they pour as rain
I’m awake in the night all over again
To be left behind
Is to spend some time trapped in your mind

But He woke me up
And He called that love
Though I can’t express
What I’m thinking of
Caught in a decider
So perfectly fate
And the present moment
Means you don’t wait
But I’m always counting time
On the watch, on the clock that isn’t mine
Do you think it could be
That we all live eternally
In some dimension
In a realm of time that by extension
Means we don’t have to suffer
And I’m always thinking of her
And what I’ve lost
I sob til the tears exhaust
My futile will
It’s everything that must fill
The pail of water to the brim
I remember when it was the two of them
Under the sun
By the gate
They wouldn’t approve
Of me in this state
But how am I
To know the reason that they die
If I don’t weep
It’s kind of like some bargain I keep
But it’s letting me go
The pain and the suffering you know
And pay testament to
The Heavenly I found in you
And remember quiet
That I don’t have to try to defy it
Only surrender
Maybe love is what I engender

A New Eon

I can feel the panic on each TV station
The madness and the conflagration
As they all compete to get heard
But do you hear the bird
Diamond cheep with the air
Beneath its wings as it flies in there
And it’s everywhere that is sky
I don’t think they mean to lie
But it’s like an endless repetition
Trying to get the first edition
Of tomorrow before the dawn
Where has the present moment gone?
If it’s like a competition
And you’re fighting but you’re a Christian
Do you think the love of God means that?
And I see my own war as I balk at what they’re at
Am I any different in truth?
Have I lived the promise of my youth
Or do I just see an enemy
Trying to get the best of me
Where did brotherhood go
Or being a sister in the know
I think the silence will tell
All of the secrets they keep so well
But I see it in myself
It starts with you now the cards have been dealt
And it’s up to the sunlight to show the dawn
I know it might be hidden but it isn’t gone
The peace beneath the waves
The ground under what is paved
Do you know who you are?
Or do you just make a black hole out of a star?
As the constellations show their age
Light years away from the war we wage
Do you think it means aught to the sky
We’re born, we live and then we die
What is permanent
Could you say the Truth is an event?
Or is it more like a scene
That wakes as we live the dream
Thinking it’s our own creation
The defeat and the elation
Just polarities
And does it matter who disagrees
If we’ve invested thought
With the rhythm of the schism we’ve bought
But are you caught
Let go and become all that you’ve sought
And when the night arrives
Be content with what survives
Each and every dusk
I let go the weight and I just trust


Photo by S Migaj on Unsplash.com

The Tough Girl Image

I keep it all on lock
But I can never be what I am not
I click my tongue
I’m impervious and I am young
Til the facade cracks
And I’m all lost in I can’t have you backs
As the days age
And I spill ink upon a page
Or burn a little sage
Oh, to demonstrate what I feel is true
Lost in a dream of me and you
Or us and them
I run the film clip all over again
When I stride through halls
Now I renovate and knock down walls
Do you love me true
Coz I found myself with all of you
And I can let the refrain
Cancel out the years of pain
Why do I hold on
To what is already gone
And deny what’s here
The water in the lake is crystal clear
As it reflects the sky
Why in the world must everything die
Only to be reborn
I was the earth outside of the storm
The solid ground
As the wind twists the air into sound
It reverberates
Like a glacier that equates
Ice with movement, don’t you know
But there are places it can’t go
As it meets the sea
I’m more than what appears of me


Photo by Pietra Schwarzler on Unsplash.com

The Holy Instant

The Holy Instant
Cut like a knife
Slicing through
The dream of life
It slowed time down
Then sped it up
So I could see
That all is Love
It pointed out
The just refrain
The irrelevancy
Of all pain
The beginning
And the ending
The stitches that
Are slowly mending
To repair
The broken seam
As you become
What you’ve always been
And what you never are
Can’t be seen
The light that is
On a sunbeam


Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash.com

To Be Born Anew

The spectre of late thirties lies before me with wills
The bucket must empty before it fills
And all the lockets I keep so safe and warm
Are nothing but silence within the storm
And the wind it howls, beats against the doorframe
Like the terror of time that knows my name
Coz it’s aging and fading, then again to bloom
And I am the Space within the room
I am the Awareness that keeps the body breathing
I am the Love in the absence of needing
I am the stars and I am the wild
Who long ago moved through this life as child
And it’s agile and free, beautiful and still
It captures each moment on the windowsill
To grow like a branch out from the tree
I seem to call this incarnation me
But it’s more and it’s less than words can contain
I try to describe it but I do it in vain
As all the rivers join the great sea
And realise their Eternity
I’m washing the coast with the beat of a wave
And there are a million things I try to save
But I let them all go as I open my hand
Give in to the ocean that turns rock to sand
Give into the heat that turns metal molten
I am a colt and thinking of bolting
But I’m held in this moment by the Decree
“All things of creation are expressions of Me
And none can move outside my command
I lift up the waters when I raise my hand
And unusual as it may seem
I’m calling you to wake from the dream
I’m calling you to stand up strong and true
Let my strength move through you”
And I’m barely breathing as I suck in the air
I’m living this life like an answered prayer
And to grow old is but a device
To get you to go deeper and maybe think twice
And ponder the source of your own Being
I’m just translating the light that I’m seeing
As it shines on every blade of grass
Open your heart and let it ask
For all that you’ve been dreaming of
The weather calming to a dove
And that the source of all is Love
Let go and live what is above


Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash.com

He’s Highway 69

He could see through me
Read me like a book
Always coming back
To a second look
And he’s cool as a breeze
The wayfaring stranger
The essence of omnipotence
And absence of danger
And he smiles and he laughs
And he holds my hand
I turned round to say
Shur, amn’t I grand
As the twinkle in his eyes
Does a merry dance
What I wouldn’t do
For another chance
At your magnificent glory
You’re ten stories high
And I think I’m gonna love you
Til the day that I die
As you move through the waves
Like you were born on a beach
I have stuff to say
But you’re just out of reach
But meet me right there
And just so with your beauty
He’s highway 69
And just the kind to suit me
Jeremy Thomas on Unsplash.com
I swim my way to the shore
Full of a heart to simply adore
And the stars sparkle diamonds over my head
I see the Universe from my bed

Scenery

Syed Hadi Naqvi on Unsplash.com
The depth of the ocean 
In the blue of your eye
I look into them
And see what cannot die
What is age old
And circumspect
I’m silent a moment
Don’t know what to do next
But you pick it up
With a reply
Don’t you know you’re spacious
As the sky
And the eons move
And the constellations spin
I’m watching the motion
In the mountains of him
I’m watching the film
As the play reels
I’m wondering now
What it is he feels
And if he ever
Doubts his strength
I found my own
In the suspense
And I deep dive
Into the sea
I’m like the air
You can’t catch me
Only love
What we share
I’m silent a moment
And he was there
To hold on to
What can’t be spoken
I smile
And he thinks I’m joking
But I’m serious
And profound
Do you hear the silence
In the sound?
Do you see the mystery
In what can’t be held
I look at you
In the words you beheld
In the forests that grow up
To be proud and green
You’re beautiful
And you’re serene
You’re effervescent
You’re timeless, you’re pure
You’re the one thing
That I know for sure
In all that’s
Passing by
I love you and I
Don’t have to try

Loving Kindness

Sending loving kindness to every being
It is a whole new way of seeing
As darkness threatens to consume
I find a way out of the room
And into the light of the only Son
He whispers that I am the one
To find peace inside myself
There’s a depth within, abundant wealth
And when you cry you’re not alone
You never have to carry it on your own
Coz He is there right by your side
Each step you walk while you’re alive
To hold you in open arms each day
He paved the path so walk His way
And hear the sound of peace abound
He picked me up from the ground
So I could stand tall and be
One with everything I see
In oceans and in forests green
Love is all that’s ever been

Adversity

The suffering can either harden you 
Or make you warm 
That is my take
On the storm 
Of breeze as it's blowing through
What is at the heart of you? 
Do leaves rustle through the grass
When you don't get what you ask 
But offer up to the sky 
That you don't know the reason why 
And find the answer in the pause
There is no effect to cause

Built on Love

Comparison and judgement 
Destroy the soul 
They make you 
Prematurely old
They only serve
To dim your light
Just surrender
Give up the fight
And come back
To a place called home
Know that you
Are never alone
But always supported
From the ground up
The Universe 
Is built on love

The Winter

The winter, it weathers

The brush and the grass

And I wonder about

That which will ever last

And you could call it God

You could call it Christ

It transcends death

It is Eternal Life

It goes beyond time

It goes beyond space

It is the Peace

That will never cease

It is the Love

To always abide

It is the Freedom

You don’t have to hide

Don’t have to cover

With shields and holds

It is the Wisdom

Inside our souls

It is the breath

It is the breathing

It is with me

And it isn’t leaving

Photo by Katarzyna Kos on Unsplash

The Calling

The Lord, He calls me

Into who I’m meant to be

Onto the road I’m meant to walk

I don’t want this to be all talk

But the evidence of Truth

To be alive, to be the proof

Of the goodness that knows no bounds

The silence within all the sounds

The love that is all abiding

It’s time to come out of hiding

Photo by Benita Anand on Unsplash

Awakening

The light it struck me in the dark

And I had to give up playing the part

Of the hard done by fool

It happened one day in school

Where the Divine called my name

Pulled me away from all blame

Unto a new dawn

And all the pain was gone

All the suffering that could ever be

Is just an illusion that you seem to see

But we are free as a bird

From the story we never heard

Bodhi Tree

Sitting underneath the Bodhi tree
It is just the Bodhisattva and me
And we do not talk, we do not converse
He sings in lyricism and I in verse
How could I be but a passing thread
Playing a tune to call the dead
And are we what they told us then
I lose faith to find it again
To find it on ground that knows the earth
Soil that could never be dirt
Air that is always pure
An angel in a dream demure
And when it is half past ten
I get up and leave the door again
For consciousness is but dreaming prose
And waking, the one I chose

Mercy

When you get knocked down do you ever consider staying on the floor
Let everyone else continue their war
While you use eyes to stare at stars
You can only see because you’re in the dark
And give yourself time to contemplate
Why you always return to this repetitious state
And if it says something about who you should be
That you’ve only been escaping from dignity
In silent stillness on the ground
You find the peace that’s all around

Kissing the Sky

Funny feeling that though he may not want me I am still okay
And that I can survive on the love of every day
From the plants, from the trees and nonetheless from him
For though he may deny it I know it beats within
In blood and in veins that are solid gold
But so are mine I see, though I have not been told
To look and revolutionise the vision of my palms
I am the lake, the ocean and these are my calms
No enforced stability, no discipline held high
Just the truth of a being that knows something that can’t die
And sees it in the rushing movement of the leaves
All the world is heaven to one who needs nothing to believe
And smile to myself, in a secret, silver fold
I never knew the universe was there for me to hold
In its peril and its fantasy, it’s motion and the tide
I am the evidence of the thing you’ve never tried
So sincerely honest in the feelings that maintain
That there lies beneath a sunlight that will overcome the pain

Does That Mean I Love You Less

Until I forgive death I can’t have you
Cause it stole before and it’ll steal you too
And all the war that I have made
Doesn’t bring back what escaped
And the love that I felt is now tinged with pain
To feel connected to you again
And her last breath signalled hell
Breaking through the surface I knew well
To be repeated when I met you
Cause when I looked in your eyes I knew
That I would suffer when the time came to lose
The man I loved but didn’t choose
And I know we were young and that there are years
But there’s no guarantee and I felt the fear
When you held my hand, the fragility
In the warmth that was touching me
And your gentle softness I knew would be left
Within me forever if I was bereft
So I let the torture just take hold
To contemplate the thoughts of old
Though you never understood my response
I cannot blame you for what you want
And what ultimately I can never give
A life of beauty that you want to live
In all the violence my only peace
Is beneath the surface where you cease
To be the person that I knew
The crime that I cannot admit to
That I even crave release
From the waves everyone runs out to meet
And in the midnight the darkness I sensed
Was all that attracted me so intense
The emptiness that you exuded
The end to the beginning I concluded
And foreboding what you always are
The black absorbing every star
I hate to say that’s what I see
And I don’t know if you’ll still love me
When you realise the whole truth
That I died before I saw the light in you
Does that mean that I love you less
I didn’t wait before I left

Estrellado

I guess I’m just a psychopathic stray
And you pierce the veil til I go away
No mention of the charge you have run up
You find the place where you can make a cut
And if man is so fickle as that
And your love can change at the drop of a hat
Then I’m not so sure I want to be a part of
The crossword that you have called love
Cause I can’t figure out what it means
While you run along tripping sunbeams
I wonder why and where you’ve gone
Wish my feelings had not lasted this long
But you are only what I want to hold
An ethereal passing by as I fold
No more permanency than a lightning strike
Just cause it didn’t last didn’t mean you weren’t bright
But I can’t always be waiting for it to hit twice
It was from a distance you lit up my life
And though you may come by in a storm
You can’t dampen the spirit of a heart that is warm
So though I wish to forsake
It all for you cause you make the earth quake
I cannot ignore the fact
That you hurt me bad and you never came back
So sidle on down the road
I see your truck hasn’t slowed
And I will find a peace somewhere within
That you don’t own and you can’t unhinge
Though you may have never meant to trip
I fell hard for you and I was not equipped
For the long, slow, hard ride to my feet
I was not prepared for us to meet
And you are lovely and angelic there
But you can be all that some other where
And illuminate all that surrounds
I won’t be the place your electricity grounds
They say once bitten, then twice shy
What I’m trying to say is goodbye
We can’t always be a push and pull
A driving away and then too full
It’s enough to know that you exist
Somewhere in an atmosphere the stars have kissed
And if you ever do get the chance
Then I mean it when I say I hope you dance
And find whatever source makes your wheels go round
When it is the truth you’ll know the sound
I guess I just did not find it in you
I lost myself cause I wanted to
But a circle always spins back to the start
In the end you never had my heart
Cause it is wild, unbound and free
And you only ever wanted to capture me
But I was not meant to be caged
In a book you wrote as your feelings raged
I am ever still the way I am
I hope that you can understand

The Glorious

I want to be inspiring
Or beautiful
Or both
I don’t want to write the night
Anymore

Though I have written it well
As well as can be written
When darkness is your subject matter
As it turns to a golden sheen
In the morning light

But there is another way
Another turn of phrase
That lifts you up
To higher consciousness it seems
And rewards are your delight

And the marks that have been made
Filter away,
Pourously, as though they were never there
To the pure calm space within
That always holds its peace

I don’t want to write the world in vain
I want to write the glorious
Of undying rain
As it pours heavy from the sky
On me

Fire Brand

The eve of things yet to come
I’ve broken what you have undone
And shattered glass falls to a shell
You can’t silence rote learning hell
That paves a life that’s just a clock
I didn’t mean to let you unblock
But somehow in the clouded din
You saw through to who I am within
And all the pins clasping me together
Won’t withstand what I remember
When you stood me toe to toe
And looked at what you want you to know
Though it was against my will
The moment held us both so still
And burst into an intimacy
Like there was only you and me
On this whole earth, in this domain
I thought I understood your pain
As you gazed an eternal surrender
I sent the love returned to sender
So it was a double entendre
Outside of our depth and genre
In a place that no one sees
I adore what you have freed

Another Way

War never solved anything but made more pain
You can’t stop the sky from pouring down rain
By drying up the rivers and seas and lakes
And then turning around and saying its for our sakes
So bask in the glow of your unholy sun
If it’s won through a fight or the power of a gun
Then it will never last but serve to disintegrate
And paint the destruction as a preemptive fate
So let me say something and let me say it clear
I will always love you dear
And nothing you can do to remonstrate
Will make me give in to live in that state

Tire Tracks

Should I be afraid of all the tire tracks torn through the dirt
And should I try to hide all the pain and all the hurt
Cause all the scars make me into something I am not
And though I tried to get away I found that I got caught
In all the brambles and the briars as they entwined my arms
The harder I struggled the more that I got harmed
But the nightmares soon came to a finality close
And I found that peace was the path I chose
As all the beautiful and meek finally came to rest
Into a heart that was tormented, that once was distressed
All the calmness ensued and the softness of a chair
As I sank down deep into what once wasn’t there
So to anyone who worries, to anyone who crowds the deep
There is a homecoming and a stillness that will keep

A Battle That You Won

You sowed a seed inside my heart
That no army can storm
Though they can try
To build bridges and bloody defences
Over the tides
Of us
That wash away
The sticks and stones
In their riverbeds

And the monsters
Oh, the monsters
That come at night
And try to scare the darkness
With their fear
But I have no trouble
Because I have you

So say what you wish in the sweetest of tones
Though it is all the same
You are the dawning of the day
And so it will be
For all of eternity
A beautiful light
Born of your soul
And myth
And legend
Only serve as precursors
To your glory

As all the wrath
Comes resting on my head
To terrify
But nil
It is but noise
And insignificance
Among the din
And silence
Reigns

Electra Heart

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Living with my Electra heart
Can’t deny it’s tearing me apart
Til all that’s left is slivers shown
Surviving on what I have thrown

I am locked inside a cage
Makes the heart inside me rage
And thud and thud with all her might
We are getting out tonight

I have to leave me down to live
What it asks I have to give
It sacrifices all I have
But in the end I am glad

It lies me out to be impaled
I’m a train it has derailed
Left me spinning on my axis
But bears my burdens, pays my taxes

I do not know where this ends
But I am down for what it sends
Because I’m still a child inside
And vowed I’d live my life alive

Photo Credit: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/312929874089150950/

Born and Raised

imageWhen words are just not enough to explain the hurt you feel
And you try to cope, as the saying goes, but you just cannot deal
When spider legs entwine and trap you in their cages
You spew it out on paper, on magnificent pages
Cause expression is the key to understand your mind
And when you have stopped the noise you can leave it all behind
Cause forever’s in a moment that never will defer
There will finally come a time
when you realise what it all was for
And the revolution will be complete as all the lies dawn Truth
It would be an understatement to say I had a tumultuous youth
But all the beauty and the conflagration is a white fire blaze
I guess that you could say I took all these years to raise

Photo Credit: The Work of Byron Katie – Facebook

Born to Be

Could I stand up and be an example for the world
Could I just let my power be unfurled
And could all my secrets be thrown to the wind
As I stand in the light and say that I have sinned
Could I stand for the darkness as well as the light
And say I know you’re sad but it is alright
And say I’ve been there too and walked a fine line
But it isn’t terrible to say that you need time
And however and whensoever you choose to break the seal
I didn’t know it at the time but I think I cut a deal
To be one and one with God and honesty complete
I only seem to be happy when I’m kneeling at His feet
And ever that he asks me is thus to be carried out
I relearn every day just what I am about
And why is it so hard just to let it all fly free
I think this earth is waiting for what I was born to be