Tag: overcoming

Ancient Troubles

.Reading time 2 minutes.
There’s a man that sings about a drugs binge he’s been on 
Like how he’s been helluva gone 
And I can’t help but empathise 
Because there’s a kind of high that never dies
Even when you kill it with starvation
Or waiting for a boy at a train station 
That only comes once in a blue moon
He rocks the atmosphere when he’s in the room 
And I just let it be
Because I am free
Of all he tries to contain 
If he was a cloud he would rain 
All over my parade
If I am the sun then he is the shade
Of the tree my grandfather made for me
He placed a swing on a branch and us three 
Share something that will never pass
I don’t care if you think it won’t last
My heart is as solid as serene 
As anything is beyond the dream 
And everyone is someone’s child 
And every woman somewhere is wild 
In her heart and soul 
Even if she pays the toll
As she passes through the joint 
As if she’ll gain an extra point 
For due diligence and deference
I gave Deirdre a second chance
But I may as well have talked to the wind
Coz she is fixated on how she has sinned
And aims to take me with her 
And I get a little bitter
In the years that pass
Under the realm of the crass
And the key to my soul won’t speak to me 
I wonder if I’m just letting her be free
Or if I’m resigned to the fate
Of looking for some guy to date
So that I might be whole
Coz I left her with my soul 
And she is the keeper of that part
In the greater region of my heart
As it beats red and true
Pumping oxygen for all of you 

Image Credit: https://pin.it/53tkWoRlj

The Power Of This Moment

.Reading time 1 minute.

***Trigger Warning – Mental Health Content***

There is power in this moment 
And I feel it when I own it
And let the pain go
Like the sky just lets the snow 
From its grasp 
Because no cloud can last 
In a frozen form
And when the days get warm 
All that ice will melt
So it goes with how I felt 
In the midst of the blackest night
But the dawn came and I was alright 
As I pondered suicide
And what it means to be alive
That may have been eons ago
But it leaves its mark on you, you know
And I just want to let anyone know who trudges
That there is a peace that never budges 
And it’s to be found right where you are
You don’t have to journey to a star 
To find your own burning strength 
I used to wonder where it went 
As I hid out between the lines
So that they couldn’t define
Me as mentally ill 
Or someone with a dysfunctional will 
I am forever free 
And just because the night visited me
Doesn’t mean I don’t know the sun
It all collapsed into one 
And I could see that duality
Is only there to bring out the best of me 
When I don’t know who I am 
I close my eyes and trust in God’s plan

Issues

.Reading time 3 minutes.
The pain reverberates around the inner wall of my sanctum
All is lost and I never thanked him
For who he was to me
They say that death is to be set free
But chains encircle and the vice, it grips
Some people escape by going on head trips
I sit in the suffer 
Coz I know you loved her
In your short time here
Your golden hair and fiery heart, my dear
Will never go to waste 
I stay chaste
And good and clean
But I only meet you in a dream
Til he walks on the scene 
And everything I love is in full colour 
The Now is here and the past is duller
But the car crash of us mimics the cry
Of the moment I learned that you die
Grasping, clawing, trying to hold on
But you are already gone
And memory
Seems to be 
The only thing you have left me 
As the vultures circle looking for some chew 
While I’m on the grass just talking to you
And he was a symbol of salvation, I held him tight
But he’s emptiness in the night
Always a little too far away
With a little too much to say
About me and you, he and I
And I’m not gonna lie
I tried to make that plaster fit
He just thinks I am a little bitch
Affection and playful but it’s not enough
I’m looking for Eternal Love
To bridge the gap
Because Death leaves behind no map
And the scrap of what I can remember 
Of the years of knowing you
Is scrawled in a diary I put pen to
But it doesn’t bring you back, I chew the cap
What if I have another relapse
And end up in the psych ward again
Because reality is not my friend
So I take refuge in fables
Keep up if you’re able
It’s a litany
Of all the liars I never got to be 
And somewhere in the sunshine I see you again
You set the gold standard of men
And you were there that year in 2007
In the blue camp and I, eleven,
In love with with your name
Life will never, ever be the same
With you gone, now there’s no one to squeeze my hand 
And smile like everything is grand 
And fun and neat
Next door neighbours, next time we meet
Will be an eon hence
My Love is never in the past tense