Tag: love

The Material Dimension

.Reading time 1 minute.
Stop trying to be something I’m not
Watch as you miss a clear shot
As you stare into my eyes
Your deep blues like the wilderness of skies
And am I crazy to stay hung up on you
Thinking of things that we could do
With the lights turned off
As we spend nights where our clothes get lost
And I know it’s taboo but it’s also touché
If I’d have known the significance of that day
And that one day I’d want to have kids
With your smile flipping the lid
On all I’ve got cooking up a storm
And it’s your breath that keeps me warm
As you lie next to me
Sighing slowly intentionally 
Just to drive me wild once more
I’m still knocking at the door
And don’t make me implore
That I want you as much as before
So we can make mini me’s
I couldn’t see the expanse of trees
And would you maybe dance with me
If I look at you so physically
And if I blush would you turn red
As we share the same bed
It’s just a dream I have on lock 
I know it’s something that I’m not
Or at least what I try to be
Are you still staring at me
Well, what you got under those lids
Do I care enough to call myself his
As our hands intertwine 
Maybe, baby, I’ll call you mine

In One

.Reading time 3 minutes.
Mercury’s in retrograde
And Irish people call a spade a spade 
Coz you know that morbid humor 
Isn’t gonna make it get you any sooner 
And I’m poised between a perfect spin
And in my mind I’m dancing with him
On an empty street
Oh, how I cursed the stars that meet
Us on the street or on the bus
There was just that feeling of trust
As I let myself believe
And I watch you hide your hands up your sleeve 
That morning in the Mall
Want to take a walk or shall
We just stare at each other across a mirage 
And I draw lines across your visage 
That will one day be a wrinkle in time 
But you’ll never stop being fine
As I watch you live your life with someone else
You advise me it’s best to take care of my mental health 
Coz you know stability is a wealth
So I smack the camera out of your hand
I will be grand 
Just not knowing
Coz I’m not finished growing
Gardens in my mind 
And they’re not well tended or left behind 
They are veritably wild 
And in my heart I’m still a child 
And I scoff in the face 
Of the rules that you chase 
So go ahead, be normal
Address me in a tone that’s formal
Coz you don’t have the time 
To watch my stellar shine
And maybe you were just afraid 
Coz, you know, that “bitch”, she slayed 
And all the lines that they encase
Won’t find you that dream you chase
Of 2.5 and a car
Don’t you ever wonder what we are 
And reincarnation kinda resembles the setting sun
But do you think we could get it in one
Coz this axis is an endless spin
And Nirvana revealed itself to him
When I let him into my sphere 
Now we are ever near
Like two orbiting souls 
Planets ruled by the poles 
But what is this non dual understanding 
All I know is you were commanding
My attention when you suggested
That we go get arrested
Just for the hell of it
Who am I sharing my heart with?
But I can’t help the laugh that escapes 
And not all superheroes wear capes 
But you sure do
Could I kick it with you 
In the summer of our age
I think I’m gonna need another page 
To get this down 
I won’t wear a gown
But in a t-shirt and jeans
I met the man of my dreams

Marriage Proposals

.Reading time 3 minutes.
I got my last marriage proposal during MCR
While I was dancing just missing her 
And a guy got down on one knee 
It wasn’t timing, it was just destiny 
And Gerard Way was giving it socks 
A year before Ken undid all the locks 
And we’re dancing to the groove
You’re covered in mud watching me move 
And I say gee shucks 
And we both give all the fucks 
In the world in that moment held 
Seventeen and in the Veld 
As we both let the music just carry
Us to the meaning of marry 
And, now, cut to the scene 
Have the past million years been just a dream 
And I know it was a joke 
In the years before woke 
Culture took the lead
And society screams the way we bleed 
In the teen years of forever 
And it’s just a step above never never
And before the banking suit
But I cut and run and he’s still a flute 
That just drinks its own flavor in
And I guess I am taken with him
From now until the end of time 
An alchemy I thought I’d left behind 
In the young years before twenty four 
Took more from me than I can adore 
And I’m all for making the best of things 
But they sort of clipped my wings 
As they held me in a cell 
In all but name and with a bell
By the bed in case I need 
A nurse to recite the creed
That I live by now 
It’s rote learned and it makes me bow 
Like a weeping willow to the floor
And it just makes me think of you more
And wonder if you think I’m crazy
And I just call you baby
In my mind when they shut the doors 
Locked them and what’s more 
Tell me that I can’t leave 
And what I’m supposed to believe 
Like a mannequin 
With puppet strings, where do I begin 
To tell the story of a desert town
And the thought of that gown 
Hanging in my wardrobe unworn
Is like the vow we’ve never sworn
To each other haze
Looking our for someone to save
Me from this maze
But it’s just the end of days
Every morning that you wake up
To begin is to end the love
Coz what Is always is
And if we meet does that mean I’m His? 
Or is it just a summer spin
Here’s the sound of me letting you in

The Second Stephen

.Reading time 2 minutes.
We were just three 26 year olds 
Sitting in a bar
I was daydreaming about being a star
And he said he might be Batman
That I might doubt it but he can 
Make me believe 
As he wipes his nose with his sleeve 
And I was tickled by the games we play
As Rock Paper Scissors goes my way
And Sinéad is on my other side 
She’s kind of the way I hide 
My true heart from you
Coz I’m scared you might want to
Take this down below 
And I’m a no show 
When it comes to that
I just want you to love me back
As we talk about Kurt Cobain and Amy Winehouse
And I’m hearing the words just drop from your mouth
In a year from now
We’ll be in that age somehow 
Coz we were all born on the 9-0
And I don’t want to wake up though
To you gone
And I’m drunk and so long
Rings in my head as I write an essay about you
Sinéad’s asleep and it’s a quarter past two 
And I write your name on a bar mat 
Coz I wanna remember you like that
And there’s no way I’ll see you again
But I catalogue a range of men
And you made the cut 
I touched your hand and it was what
You didn’t say that led me on
And I’m singing my own song
As I reminisce and I might have cried 
Coz there are people I’ve loved who’ve died 
And it’s more than nothing just to know 
You can love someone who let you go
And all I know is the Stillorgan Road
Is somewhere the traffic slowed 
As it went by your house 
And you live with your sister and your mouth
Looks inviting
But the in-fighting
In my brain pushes me away
I just want to remember you, okay
In two page and a half of semi slurred ink
Will be a reminder of someone that I think
Is pretty awesome cool
You’re even better than learning in school
All that I’ve come to be 
I hope that you’re reunited with me 
In some future dream 
I grasp you and I pull a seam

Liquor Talk

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The last time we spoke
I found you unabashedly woke
And I was a little shy
Coz I feel I’m gonna die
Like dead, like RIP me
Coz you are quintessentially free
And I can’t contain
An ocean in your mountain of pain
Because the forest runs wild
And I have loved you since I was a child 
Growing up to the brambles and brush 
Always being in a sort of a rush
Trying to fit in all I can
Then suddenly, a man 
At eighteen years old
The story’s not even close to being told 
Coz I’m ancient and I’m new
But I’ve never seen anything like you
With your debonair 
And your cute as hell fucking hair
And I know you might disagree
But, honey, if it was up to me
I’d keep you for a century, more
Fall to the floor
Coz I adore 
Everything in the way you move 
You look like Astaire in your shoes 
As they make a pattern on me
I love you Now, eternally

My Greatest Defeat

.Reading time 1 minute.
You are my greatest defeat
I just fall at your feet
And open up the midnight in the dawn
I look to my side and you are long gone 
And I’ve mountains to climb
But there were oceans of you being mine
Just settling down with a kid on the way
What is it that people say
“You’ll understand when you’re older”
But your gravity makes me bolder
Bold enough to refuse 
The point you want to prove 
With your gravelly voice
As if I even had a choice
To choose my own oppression 
And this is my confession
You always felt like a weight to carry
This guy who sorta wants to marry
Me at half my age
There’s ink enough to fill the page
With the stories that I make of us
Pencil marks on broken trust
Coz I just rewrite the story
Think of me in all of my glory
Just asking you to stay the night
You ask me if I’m alright
And I am but I’m sorta not 
The tilted stage is a lot
And is it every relationship 
Soldiers that war equip
To hold out on each other strong
I didn’t do anything wrong
It just wasn’t meant to be
Back then, but now I see
The fluorescent in the neon light
I don’t let you outta sight
And I was queen until we meet
Hold on, I’ve got another sheet
I’ve got to fill
You forget but I never will

Friendship Bracelets

.Reading time 1 minute.
They make the friendship bracelets for each other 
Going to the Taylor Swift concert 
And there may be a stadium full
But, still, their skin’s as thin as cotton wool 
Coz she’s sensitive
This goddess that we address
Singing of years in the machine
And being true to her dream
That’s what you get
When you cannot forget
What you are
And she is no superstar
She’s down to earth
And recounts the way it hurts
When the waves crash
Life superceded by a dash 
Between the beginning and end 
And I’ve had a friend 
Who gave one to me 
It shattered but in twenty three
I still keep the pieces 
And my love for her never ceases
Lest we entertain 
What’s been done for us in vain
Like acid rain
Peels the paint off your car
And travelers dare to go far
But by Kilglass lake 
I found something I will not forsake

Running A Ten

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
My energy system’s running a ten
And I’ve blown the fuse on the light again
And they all think I have psychosis
Some modern kind of neurosis
And it may be true that the mind
Is having trouble leaving behind
All the dreams of yesteryear 
But there’s a part of me that shows no fear
That knows, that simply realise
That everything is the sky in your eyes

Grief In Waves

.Reading time 1 minute.
I miss you and it’s been twenty years
And it’s been quite a few since I cried tears
But I remember standing with you
In the morning dew
Looking out on the fields
With nothing to do
Or seeing you gaze
At my eyeline
As I video recorded
The light that you shine
Now you’re just a photograph
Paper thin
Is there anything more
Than the memory of him
To stand on stilts 
So tall
They say time washes away
Like a waterfall
But I would never want to forget
And I remember you yet
Me, so small and hardy
You the simple net
That would catch me when I trip
I love you still and that is it
Nothing more, nothing less
And I know I don’t need to stress
About the small things
And spirit has wings
To take it to the sky
It’s just I wish you didn’t have to die
I wish I could still hold your hand
Have you say that all is grand
And that you love me so deep
I love you Granda and that’s a promise I’ll keep

The Male Archetype

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His name is Fin and he is flying
He gets my mind off thoughts of dying
As everything is in decay
And I’m always wondering who made it that way
Coz if there’s a good God
Surely he wouldn’t lead with the rod
And I’m biting my nails and looking away
But I’m waiting to see what he’ll say
As the embodiment of Adiyogi
I hope he’ll like me if he knows me
And I’ve got this barrier, this cocaine wall
But it doesn’t help me to stand tall
So I show him where there’s a gap
Give him out a detailed map
So he can find his way to me
And hopefully I’ll someday see
What life is like to hold a hand
To believe in truth and love a man

Brutal Blows And The Reveal

.Reading time 1 minute.
Death, the scar scabs over
But I pick at it 
Until it starts to bleed
And I must take heed
And heal again
Did I lose a friend
When the ocean between us
Was a nightmare so dark I couldn’t dream it
And I thought I could clamber back
But you build a house on what you lack
And I try to find away in
But I just face the sin
That builds a wall
Like the maniacs down the hall
Do 
What about you
What’s on your scene
If you could paint it on a screen 
Coz you keep it tight lipped
Would you notice the glitch if the track hadn’t skipped 
On the part where Weird Al riffs
I know there are those who’ve called me a bitch 
And maybe there’s an element of truth in their professions
But I would never want to force a confession 
Like she did to me
Did you see
The welt that she left
Cut my heart with a blade so deft
And it was like it all caved in
Til the light broke and I met him
And he showed me a shine
That used to be mine
In the days before 
She didn’t want me anymore 
But the clue
Was that I chose you
In the forest of dreams
And the screams
Are not as sharp as they used to be
Am I desensitized or do I just see
What’s there to unfold
I think I found my fields of gold

The Avenues

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Which would be worse
That you move to Australia 
Or that I meet you on the street
And the words they might fail ya
As you present 
Your wife and kids
And I must contend 
With the life that’s his
And I let it go at eighteen
And I’ve been trying to right the dream
Ever since
I wince
When I think of all the truth I spilled
Out from my soul like it is killed
And I know he knotted threads
Wore them thinner as I lay in bed
With fear in my throat
If you burn a witch would she float 
And I can’t fight with this great swathe of sea
As it’s all pouring through me 
Like a vessel in the storm
Giving voice to the cold meets warm
And there’s really nothing stopping the flow
When you know you just let go

Rhythm Section, Immaterially

.Reading time 1 minute.

https://youtu.be/UOS5CP8tzYQ

Cause of death, dying
What do you expect, trying 
And I try to reason
With him but it’s just a season 
In the garden he grows
It’s all flowers and God knows
I try not to be the sky
Reflecting blues in his eyes
As they stare up at the sun
But I think he might be the One
As he moves in a sashay
And he can have me any way
He likes to entertain
And his love is not in vain
As he holds a paper heart
Out and it makes my own start
Beating a rhythm I cannot contain
Would the sky take back the rain
It had cried in tears
If it meant it could erase the years
That have gone in between
The midnight of someone else’s dream
In a come what may
What is it that the people say
That there is a wilderness beyond the hedge
And you are more than the pond you dredge
To bring up gold
And that story’s never told
If you’re looking for a quick line
In the bathroom for the thousandth time

It Was More Than That

.Reading time 1 minute.
It was a grapevine fire that caught onto you
And I didn’t want you to know I was staring through
A portal into another world
How did I not see that you had a girl
And all my detective, all my sleuth
Building pillars of time upon our youth
And they had me admitted to a psych ward
I just look at you when I’m bored
And it makes me smile 
Then Emmett crashes in for a while 
With his clipboard and pen 
Could you say that again 
Like I said to you
The pain in your eyes was pushing me through
The eye of a needle so fine
God, I wish we would’ve had more time
Til the separate 
Would you call it fate
Or just say it’s my fault 
That a heart’s not made to be locked in a vault
And let out on special occasions 
Jesus, what are those abrasions 
Did you roll down a hill
He tells the truth but I never will
In his company 
And he just acts the fool with me 
And I feel whole 
I didn’t realise I’d found my soul

The Social Outcast

.Reading time 1 minute.
I used to be a Queen
A butterfly
And I was not
Afraid to die
Surfing the waves
Of come what may
Now I just stand in the rain
And make hay, may hay
And all the seasons blend into one
Everything one under the sun
That shines on the clouds
That I fear to speak out loud  
For fear it might disturb
The quaking ground
So I don’t make a sound 
And suffer in silence
Like that ad long ago
With the person crumpled on the floor
It’s an open door 
That I just walk through
And I guess the means were you
In an incantation that I fear to speak
Lest love makes me weak
In the summer days
But the power plays 
Shatter the glass 
Coz nothing is born to last
That you see, ephemeral
I’m longing for the eternal 
To crack like an egg
I broke at the edge instead 
And poured into an empty bowl
But they cannot capture my soul
Only roll
In an endless sea
There is no triumph over me

Apocalypse, Now

.Reading time 1 minute.
It’s firing on all cylinders 
This slow rush to the bottom
What about all the suffering
It’s all forgotten 
All the men pulling triggers
To blow up a bomb
What happens to the world
When we’re all gone
And it’s raining in my ears
And it’s not just astute
Fanciful feelings
While playing the brute
And we can sigh
And say that we mourn
But what is birthed
In the heat of the storm
When the tides are turned
And the way back is burned
What is left but ashes 
When the enemy clashes
With itself on the front
And the innocent bear the brunt
Of words unspoken 
Is peace just a token 
That we exchange
With the shaking of hands 
And the conquering
Of foreign lands 
To say that they’re discovered 
And civil and tame 
Do we know something
Just because we give it a name 
Or does the essence elude 
Us when we exude 
The kind of confidence 
That shatters windows 
We let down the glass 
But we can’t see in though

Sit and Stare

.Reading time 1 minute.
I sit and stare at the grand abyss
Coz I don’t even miss
You now you’re gone
And I never said so long
Never got a chance 
Almost asked you to the dance 
If I had’ve would you still be here 
A butterfly flaps its wings and the sky clears 
And I remember I had a dream 
The night before 
I had fallen through the floor 
Into the water
Like someone’s daughter
And someone’s son, the father 
Tries to save you from the sea
And I woke up, to a degree,
To realise it was imagined 
Relief 
Then the crashing thief
You’re not lost under a boat 
But neither does hope float
And they’re turning it off 
At twelve noon
And every second is a second too soon
But, God, is there no hope
I cry tears into the side of my coat 
Coz I don’t feel worthy of
The dregs of pain that accompany love
When you’re eighteen 
And no longer in the dream

The Dream Will Realise

.Reading time 1 minute.
Would you ever just be mine
Coz I’m tired all of the time
And she looks slinky in that mini dress
Seductive coz she’s not trying to impress
Just being her own dear self
And you can only guess the wealth
Beneath her skin 
But do I, do I let him in 
And he comes close to the door
Knocks and asks me to open it a little bit more 
But I hesitate
And it’s not coz I wanna make you wait 
It’s just coz I
Already know what it is to die 
It woke me up
Some kind of love
Like taking your first breath above
The water when you are born
Did you know the sun is warm
Coz I never felt it til that day
It cascaded in the window 
Now it’s shining from him though
And I can’t make it stop
It’s ticking like a body clock
Down to its inevitable conclusion 
Could you tell me where is the confusion 
In telling me how you felt 
Like butter you melt
On the pavement before 
The train station I abhor

The Sky Pouring Ocean

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Why do I feel the ultimate pain
When the girl is making it rain
And it comes down in a sea of screams
Waking people from their dreams 
And could it be grace that I
Was willing to die
For what I believe 
It’s an ocean that I leave
Behind when I set out on my way
And you can’t trust what people say
You watch what they do
And I am staring at you
For an eon forever
As if you could be a hopeful endeavor

The Flame and the Letting Go

.Reading time 3 minutes.
Suffering means I love you more
And I’m always banging on your front door
To see will you let me in
And you just remind me of him
His casual ways, his beautiful dance
His chest, the rest and his hands
As they fold themselves into mine
It is the cessation of time
As in the moment held forever
Is the faith of a new endeavor 
As it opens out to sky
I love you and I don’t know why
Only the beauty to burst through
The diagrams I see in you
And in all that’s sad and lonely
I’m wondering why you don’t phone me
When we left it on so bad a note
And there are pages that I quote
Which makes up the dream of us
The magnitude, the waves, the trust
In all that we can’t imbue
I’m waiting for what you might do
With your love, the sea, the stars
The way you melt those prison bars
Down into metal ore
I know you better than I did before
But you are untouchable, unattainable 
The clouds are grey, the day raining and dull
And you’re just some other where 
I keep looking, you’re not there
And you may have another chick
And I the page that you flip
But anyway, bitterness won’t get me far
Not when you’re written on my heart
And I feel this seething for all we were
And the fact that I’m not her
And I know it’s selfish and self absorbed 
I should just take you at your word
When you say you’re happy there
That you’ve found love and true care
But I’m gnawing at the edges and all the seams
I still see you in my dreams
Sometimes you’re mine, more you’re not
I’d write them down but I forgot
Exactly what they had to say 
Some kind of I’m not going away
But everything does 
All that is is a remnant of what was
And I fight the tide
But the waves crash and abide
In the place they’ve always been
There is the dimension of the seen
Then other ones
Diagonals and come undones 
Would you marry me?
So that the bird could be set free
But I’m letting go
Of all I thought that I know
To find a new shore
Worship all I adore
As it comes in close
Would you haunt me like a Holy Ghost?

Taco Belle

.Reading time 1 minute.
I find furrows in the wood exploring with you
And more often than not it’s just us two
Brushing through reeds in Derrymacstuir
When I’m in need I know I can call her
To listen to my ramblings for a little while
She cracks me up and makes me smile
And there’s something of longing in her absent stare
Like she’s wishing for something in particular to be there
And I try to hold up, to carry the fort
In the years in between as we man the fort
Over the garden that’s grown between us
There’s something of magic, there’s something of trust
And I know I can rely on her steady heart
In the years and seasons we’ve been apart
In the moments when there’s an ocean in between 
We rip up the map coz it’s just a dream
And all of the separation that seems to be
Hanging in the air between you and me
Is nothing in the magnitude of what’s always been
I salute you, honey, coz you are the queen

One World Community

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Holding space for war torn regions
With the strength of prayer
So they know that love is there
And the fighters on the extreme
Are only caught up in the dream
Never knowing what they do
But what would you do if it was you
And if you had the power to make change
Would you think it a bit strange
That some people resist
There’s nobody on my list
Coz I have let go of enmity
But I stay vigilant coz integrity 
Means being aware that it could come back 
The ego hiding in the lack

Starfish

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Are we just starfish
Learning how to shine
Do I speak up
About what isn’t fine
As the layers in the cake
Are slowly spread
And people on the sidelines
Are left for dead
As we just
Get on with our lives
And the bare minimum
Of trust survives
The onset of
A foreign occupation
Am I getting
Far above my station
To say I stand
With the power of peace
A moment when
The war might cease
And they could come
For my neck
Or I could lose it all
In a train wreck
As I try to mean
Something true
Is it just me
Or is it me and you

The Snowdrops

.Reading time 1 minute.
The snowdrops show their skin in January
When everything else is cold with the snow 
And like the darkest night 
It's only then it lets you go 
Coz I found 
The slightest sound
Was enough to wake the house 
So I learn to do without 
In the evenings I 
Just contemplate the way I die
To each and every moment fresh
And every second is the best 
In Immortal Being 
There's nothing new for the seeing 
Just what you have always been 
You are untethered from the dream 
That heretofore held you back 
But there's nothing that you lack 
And the dog days may be over 
But that doesn't stop me wishing on a four leafed clover 
To win the day 
It's not held within what people say 
But it is effervescently free 
But it's everywhere, don't look at me 
As though I'm something rarefied 
It's just something in me that's died
A thread that's broken, identified 
And it's more an omission than I lied

The Guy On The Screen

.Reading time 1 minute.
Waiting for the guy on the screen 
Is it just a long dream 
Since I was born 
I've been in love with the storm
That just rages
I use pages 
To rifle through another scene 
And I say that it's just something I've been 
And I wonder if Stephen 
Would smile if the ends weren't even
And I just want to show 
Him the places that I go
When my serenity expands
There are vast oceans of open lands 
That are there for the the perusing 
I have no idea what it is that I'm losing 
When I let you go 
It's the complete unknown and it show 
Me something that I've never seen
But it's nerve wrecking to be the queen 
Of the midnights that just sashay 
Is it okay
If I like you like that 
The boy said he wanted his hat
Back but it was mine
And I tell it to him a thousand time
You can only ever be
The space that you set free

Snare Drum

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Hit that snare drum
And I try to do the sum
That will add up to the whole of my life
Am I just a house and a wife
To some man I don't yet know 
Or is there a reason that I just go
To the farthest corners of the earth
To find a way out of the hurt
The distant hum of the fan 
I want to stop it if I can
So I meditate and it doesn't work
I run and I just sweat my shirt 
And I listen to Eckhart Tolle
It switches into something whole
And cascades like the perfect song
Beating the movement where you went wrong 
And I'm listening to my own misery biz 
I used to be the shizz
Now I'm just old and normal 
Saw you in a suit so formal
Looking like you pay the rent
I wonder where the vagabond went
That crashed into my life like a storm 
And he's the fire that keeps the heat warm 
I wish you could know
That I would never let you go 
Only let the line go slack
And wait until you call me back 
And you always do 
I walk another's shoe
Til the soles are worn and dry
I dunno I had to try
And be the one to satisfy 
The longing that reaches out
It quenches thirst to match my doubt
Like that castle in the sky
I meet in dreams that die
Into a morning that just breaks 
And the girl, like the ocean, wakes

Big Fish

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I look at the big fish
Thinking he's such a dish
But he's only catching flies
In the interval between the birth that dies
And yet I can sense even in him
A light that shines within
And the dark is threatening summer
So I switch off the lights and hear that drummer
That calls to me to speak my mind
Share my soul and my life in kind 
And I somehow know that this will come true
Because I have ultimate faith in you
To be and bring all I have to know 
I hold on to let go
Of what is not real or true
But the beef with this is that I pay my due 
A hundred times over in advance
And everyone is in a sort of trance
I click my fingers and 
Lose sight of an hourglass worth of sand 
But time is nothing new
Just the force of gravity working on you
As your skin folds down
And slowly sinks into the ground 
And you call that the end
I call it another friend
That just shows you that the permanent 
Is not held in the thing that went
But in the eternal, immutable soul
I spin the hands on the clock and fold

The Closed Farm

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The closed farm opened its eyes
And it realised
Everybody dies
Some day, eventually
What of me exists perpetually
Coz I know there's something there
That goes beyond the wind that tear
The seams from the jam of the door
I woke up on the floor
With a teacher staring down at me 
And I still remember the way that she
Was frightened that I 
Might be broken the way I lie
But I'm singing
The bells are ringing 
In a new dawn
And the old world is all gone
For the moment at least
Though, God knows, you can't cage the beast
Only watch it scream 
And realise it's just a dream 
In the winter of my life, when I was young
It was over before it had begun 
But it was not a final stop
It was love that meant a lot
And something in me just knew
That there is a deeper shade of blue
Than the sky you know
I hold on and it lets me go

Where To Start

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
The door swings shut
On another adjacent dream 
I run like wildfire 
Or an untethered seam
That's freed from it's hold
And the scene is gold
As everything magnifies
Exactly what never dies
And I feel a heartbeat in my chest
Just thump thump and forget the rest

Rooting Fir

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
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The tree beds down deep in my soul
And I’m as icy as the North Pole
On a summer evening
It’s global warming but are you believing 
The stories they weave
And it’s cotton wool I have up my sleeve
No knife to stab you in the back
No hatred to make an attack
On what is perfect pure
You loved me but you weren’t sure
That you could trust the branch to bough
But I’ll come close if you allow
Me near your cistern heart
The one that fills before it starts
To empty out
And the earth quakes with your doubt 
As you mean it all to me
Could you be my long lost sea

Paper Trains

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https://pin.it/4LrKnqa
Using money as a measurement for success 
All I get is lost in distress
And unconsciousness
As I cling to the wall
Then the whole thing fall
And I look at the rubble at my feet
Why did God let us meet
If he didn’t intend us to be together 
I scream in the morning air and the weather
Utters no reply
As dawn breaks over the seat where I lie
And that was back in ten
Number one on my list of men
That I adore
It’s like I found him on the shore
I used to seek solace on
But after I met you the whole thing was gone
It burned up like a candle flame
And all I have to hold is your name 
And I remember your hand so soft and cool
That summer we met after school
In the park
And the field is green but the dark
Is just around the corner and I
Know what it is to be left out to dry
Like washing on the line
But don’t worry about it, it’s fine
He looks deeply into my eyes
And I’m momentarily without disguise
Or words to play
“I didn’t know you loved me that way”
I stutter a response
He’s not fooled
The evening changed
And the heat it cooled
Down into a summer balm
And all I feel is this unearthly calm
Creeping over the edges of my perception
The perfect kind of misdirection
To make the minute hour long
“I didn’t know you were that strong”
And the wellspring bubbles to the surface
“My God, aren’t you perfect”
In the moment we hold each other
I could never love another
The way I love you
I close my eyes and it’s just us two

The Bungalow By The Woods

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I run but there’s no race that I win 
I walk away but I think of him
Every single day
Was there really no other way
To handle things
And my heart sings
When the memory rises
And my surprises 
To find him there
And find he care
Surpasses all my man made doubt
And a life learned to live without
Like holding back the air
I need to breathe and I care
About what happens to you
I would love to reach out to 
You across the great divide 
But I fear the rebuff and I hide 
My secrets away so safe
And I used to be a little waif
In hunger with what she couldn’t live
I hope that you forgive
Me for my transgression
Why does this feel like a confession
When I’m at a loss as to what to say
So I make something up by the way
And feel all the penance that’s due
I just want to be worthy of you 
But you won’t see me no more
I knocked and the door 
Opened and closed in my face
Did you know this used to be my place

Colour Splash

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Taylor’s bringing it home
She opened the door when I was all alone
And let in a little light
I fight it out but I’m alright
As I say to the seasons 
That this love is without reason
As I shudder to a halt
She lets six more out of the vault 
And they run riot in the scene
She’s painting colour in the dream
As the grey gets a splatter of paint
I see the One and I faint
And on the floor in Room One
I know what it is to walk the Son
In feet that are his and mine
He carries me across the beach that fine
Summer’s day in the winter of my life
I smile because I am alright

Not That Bad

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Do we just settle for not that bad
When she’s the best you’ve ever had
And I’m walking down lines and roads
Kissing princes, they turn into toads 
And I’m way past what I used to be
I wish I could’ve looked forward to see
Where that path might lead
And all the aggrandizement that made me bleed
When it was one need
And the law says take heed, take heed 
Of all that you don’t know where
And maybe people do care
It’s just that you could‘nt see
I reach out and say; it’s me
As the soft of his voice reminds me of your arms 
And we grew up on separate farms 
In rural Irish ways
And I don’t care what anyone says 
You’re still the one for me
I loved you so I let you go free
Now I just want to capture
Evince a state of rapture
That might never be known
And I want to love, don’t want to own
If that’s okay with you
I’m gonna wait coz I want to

Changing Me

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
https://pin.it/5qDYMI4
I’m a bit different
But I’m still the same
Growing up
Without a name
And I know I was immature 
And harsh as hell
And pushed away
Anyone who wanted to tell
Me how to live my life
2.5 kids and a wife
And now he’s got all that
And all I have is to want him back
And it’s a flailing in the water drunk
It’s a commerce cost that’s sunk
Like the coconut on the veranda
And I wrote a poem about Amanda
Because she reminds me of you
I left but it wasn’t coz I wanted to

The Years

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I’m afraid that I’ll forget my youth
When I get old
Regale the years
With stories told
As if it is all past and gone
Not ever abiding in a so long
Back when the most painful thing
Was coming in contact with a nettle sting
Now I count the Ogham 
Spelling out: I’m all alone
Though not really
I’ve just got the feeling
That these years
May not be worth stealing 
As time marches on 
In fifty years will we all be gone
Or will some disaster
Some tsunami earthquake shake the rafters
Or some nuclear threat
As a leader somehow forgets
That he’s human too
And what you do to them you do to you
And what about the climate change
Soil to dust in a land that’s strange
Not bursting green
Like Sub Sahara could’ve been
If we’d‘ve done things right
Oh, it keeps me awake at night
Just thinking
Maybe I should be drinking
Instead of facing our woes 
It’s humanity and anything goes

Amanda’s Dream

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https://pin.it/32shwlY
Driving through town and I think of Amanda
She was into the emo scene
And her hair was long
Like a fucking queen 
And I try to emulate what I saw back then 
Seventeen 2.0 again 
And I wonder where he is
If he has a wife and kids
I used to check his deets 
Before I admitted utter defeat
And the family life always seemed empty
Like why would you when you’re good looking and twenty
But when you’re thirty three and laying waste
Everyone seems to say; make haste, make haste
And I’m like a rock in the river, it just flows by
And it might be a long time before I die
And forty looks scary as hell
Do you grow up or lose life as well
Coz age hasn’t changed the core of peace
And forgiveness might be the only release
For what she did to me
If you wake up are you free
Or do you deal with encumbrance still
Going through a dark night of the will

Beautiful Star

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Photo by Ameruverse Digital Marketing Media on Pexels.com
Beautiful star
I wonder do you know how lovely you are
I stole that line 
From a singer I met in the midst of time
But an open scene 
Is where the clouds part and the dream
Reveals itself to be something true
Only the illusion revolved around you
Now I count the beat
Of each heart pump that rhythms my feet
As I walk on and on
Til the pedestal I stand on is long gone
And she scorched the earth
I stood upon and the consequent hurt
Was blamed on her
But I wonder do I know what we were
As I allow
The branch to bend as it leaves a bough
Out to me to take like a dove
An olive branch sent from above
I blamed the scar
But would I know what we are
Without the pain
Are you dry until you know rain
Well maybe it's true
But the contrast shows it up to you 
God give me faith
And the strength not to hate
Those who do me ill
Coz they are just vessels of your will
To send me deeper into the fold
Until I discover beneath the clay there is gold
Hidden in mud from marauding bands
Now I'm in the music and we're holding hands
Like we'll never part
As the man exclaims; make art, make art
And I know I'm too quick
And the judge is a brick
I hurl through the glass
Just because I was good in class
I seek to find
The prison that I left behind
An eon ago
I ask Jesus to just let me know
As if he's my personal friend
But he showed me a love that will never end
And so I defy
Anyone who dares look in my eye
The depth of soul
That lies beneath the waves that roll
To quench the storm
Don't you know that the warm
Is as much part of the sea
As the tornado at the core of me

The Peace Of Me

.Reading time 1 minute.
Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com
They’re gonna think I’m a bad person
I hear my ego boom
There’s only room for one
Of us in this room
And the heat is warm
I don’t have the heart for another storm
Only winter is coming
I feel the chill
Calls the leaves off the trees
That suddenly will
Fall to the floor
The pine soft carpet 
If you look for Love
You’ll find that you are It
In the summer weather
As you walk amongst the heather
In purples and blue
All reflecting the shades of you
To let the seasons be
Is more than has ever been asked of me
Coz I fight the tide
That screams the moon means you’re alive
But a cyclical wind
Only ever blows more karma and sin
What is beyond
I ask the air and abscond 
Into serenity
Be still and know the Peace of me

Still In My Soul

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I was there
The day 
They took you away
And this song was playing
On the car ride home
Do you feel alone?
Coz the pavement always reflected the sun
And the sky was a burning one
As I walked in the gate
Was it just fate
Coz I can’t think of a reason
The season
Is winter and so much snow
I swore I’d never let you go
As my hands tremble against the pillar 
And daily life is like filler
When you’re gone
I hold my breath for so long
Just to prove
I feel what it is to lose
Your golden hair
I remember you and I were there
That Sunday outside the Church 
And, I dunno, I just love you so much
I was gonna ask you to
But I lost the nerve that checked on you
And I never suspected
I never preempted 
The basin that emptied
The moment she said your name
It cascaded and the blame
Of grief and guilt and pain and loss
Try to show me who’s boss
But you surface holding my hand
As I tell you ‘bout the boy in the band
But it’s through tear stained cheeks
The valleys and hills as the glacier weeps
It’s way through the parish we were born to know
I never thought I’d lose that smile though
I still feel it’s radiance on me
You always let me run free
In the playground we silent share
At the range as you stood there
Somewhere, somehow by my side
How dare they say you’re not alive
When I feel you ever near
Shining like a crystal clear
And you know me just a little bit
But somehow you still stay with
Me throughout the years
And I would drink an ocean of uncried tears
Just so that it’s real
This isn’t just something that I feel
I don’t know how to deal
But somehow I do
Even if it’s not with you
And the bitterness 
And fears and foe 
Come regardless of what I let go
As I fight to find
A place I can’t leave my love behind
And I think I found it 
It’s tentative but it’s true
And it resounds with the power of you
As you sing in the echo of the hall 
Bouncing off the far wall
It only serves to resound the call 
That makes me write for you
The silence is pure but it pours into
Every syllable you didn’t say
I’d walk to you if there was no other way

Understand

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Watching the polarities
Rise and fall
Male and female
Being brought to the boil
As we push the boundary
Of what we think we know
But they’re just categories 
And we have to let them go
As gender becomes
A fluid concept
And the powers that be
Are sure to jump on it 
And tell us 
What we should understand
Now that non binary
Is in demand 
And you say conservative
Or a liberal foe
It’s all in the ball you throw
With your good arm
No need to sound the alarm
On the adjacent feminist
They don’t get how some things exist
Except to say a right
Is where the opposites ignite
And I’m just sitting here
In the crosshair 
I couldn’t fight
The reason that was there

Staring From The Sidelines

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I stepped onto the bridge
The wood was creaky
And there’s something about that guy 
That was a little bit freaky
But I like him anyway
I catch what he say
Across the thread of an internet fine
And I know it’s love for the longest time
As he flicks his hair
Flicks his eyes
Buries crevices 
In my disguise
And there’s nothing more
Than to bang on your door
And tell you I’m out here waiting
I don’t even think of hating
You anymore
I simply adore
The sleep in your eye
And how you are with me when we both die 
Across the refractions of time
On the thinnest of line
We are bound as One
And an unearthly Sun
Shines from your face
And I love this place
Now you are near
I hold you dear
And it’s crystal clear
That through the cobwebs and moss
All is not loss
Just a slowly burning candle 
Did you think I was too much to handle?

The Hidden Dark

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Running from the dark wolf in my closet
That wasn’t a sin now was it
Coz I’ve been recounting tales
Since I was knee high 
And everything that lives seems to die
And I don’t know why
So I fight and I toil 
And I break and I boil 
Coz there are atrocities 
In the human endeavor 
And I’ve always been seduced
By the promise of forever 
Coz it’s bulletproof 
And no matter how aloof
She is I know 
There’s part of us that don’t let go
In the years we grow
Up and out
And our self doubt
In a mountain aware
I love the feeling of you being there

Singing In My Summer Clothes

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Singing in my summer clothes
Have one on me, one for the road
And it’s long but it leads back to You
The only path, the one that is true 
And I fight with the storm in my veins
Countenance curious pains 
That attempt to distract 
From the fact I want him back
But he’s sold to some other source 
And I have no remorse
About speaking my mind
I didn’t leave you behind 
Just on hold 
To be brave and to be bold
Enough to truly say
I didn’t want you to go away
But doubted my ability, okay
There’s nothing I can make stay 
Coz it’s all built on sand that’s shifting 
Tell me who I should be gifting
With a midnight purpose scene
I thought You and I was just a dream

All The Burning Embers

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
All of the burning embers
No one really remembers
Who you used to be
It’s like the fountain that you see
In the ocean that grows within
They’re obsessed with the notion of sin
And I’ve outgrown the domain 
That only seems to inflict pain 
On the monster that abides
The one your revolution hides
Beneath the snow of an avalanche 
Were you released in the first tranche
Of saviours to keep the day
Working in its own way
And the sudden scar
Is a wildebeest to your open heart
The one you wear on your sleeve 
Do you expect me to just believe 
In the brand you sell
I’m in the jungle but I wish you well

The Trauma

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Does the pain go by the name of trauma
And are we just flora and fauna
In the Garden Of Eden
What do you believe in
Coz I know you’re atheist 
But it doesn’t erase the trust
I have in the Divine
And if I say I’m doing fine
It would be a lie
Coz people die
And I try to stem the flow
Of holding on to let go
It gets ripped from you
Out of the hands it once poured into
And you hit me like a smash and grab 
And I know you’re not just a lad
Who’s down with the girls
I uttered; “you are my world”
And you balked
I almost wish we never talked
Coz it landed me in hell
In an all-but-name kind of cell 
Where they were super nice to me
But tried to change me by degree
By offering medication 
So I might change the station
But I am the screen
The pictures that move are the dream
But I can convince no one
So I just let the drum
Beat me til I’m nothing new
But I can’t claim it was for you
Coz I let go the true
In a sunset kind of hue
That wakes to pay it’s due 
I faked the sleeping thunder blue

The Loss Of You

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Writing a poem for you
Because God wanted me to
And it happened when I was eleven
Memories of you when I was seven
And I woke in the night with a rhyme in my head
I sat in the bathroom and instead
Of writing it down
I let the ocean drown
Me with waves of grief
And every day it’s beyond belief
Because there’s no going back
And you only know it when you lack
A grandfather you love
And their promises of above
Don’t stem the catapulting might
Of waking in the night
With a poem at your pen 
If I could go back again 
I would pay tribute to you
With love instead of falling into
A mire that knows no end
Did I really lose a friend
And I stay around Kilglass
Coz the memory last
And your house is just across the road
The years sped up but time slowed 
Down enough to let me look back
And I found someone who goes by the name of Jack
And he stills the storm in my bones
Holds my hand through the all alones
That stifle my voice
I don’t scream by choice
Just the horror of losing you
Like I’ve become the void I stare into 
As if I could find you in my grief
That the pain is a measure of the leaf
I take out of your book
Does the past take a second look
Into the vast of the sky
The Kingdom of Heaven that will never die

A Dream In Consciousness

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Is life just a dream in consciousness 
That we are all having together
Some focal points
That personalize the weather 
And we trudge and we scorn
But we don’t realise why we were born
As we find our way up the hill
But there’s clarity when things get still
And I lived a summer when someone die
I was so sad I couldn’t cry
Like a sky
Being too cold to snow
I loved him so I let him go
But I found something else
In the depths of myself
That made everything clear
And I held him dear
But I couldn’t keep him
I woke from my sleep and
I thought it was all made up
For a moment but it was not enough
To quiet my shaking hand
As realisation made me understand
That the man under the sea
Behind the boat that he
Tried to rescue was simply  
A way of dealing with what I couldn’t control
It was so vast the waves didn’t roll
But made an empty silent sound
I’m lost for someone I want around
And she backed away from me
I let her go coz I want to be free
And she don’t understand 
I ignore her fatigue and her underhand
That strikes out
She is full of doubt
But that don’t make more solid stone
And we are both alone
Coz we can’t trust
The moment when the balloon went bust 
And splattered the paint
My mind couldn’t handle it so I faint
On the floor in front of Room One
No one knows the Sun
That shone
For a moment it was gone 
Then it reappear
And a friend I hold so dear
Told me I should get it checked out
But I just want to shout
It from the rooftop
That there is no bad cop
To fear
The Lord is ever near
And catches everyone like a net
It happened to me, now I can’t forget
All that has come to pass
The time goes by but this last
Through the seasons of change 
And the acting strange 
And the loss is not what I thought I knew 
I am always with you

Your Supernova

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
You supernova 
And I’ll pull ova 
In my car
Pick you up at the bar 
Coz you don’t drive
Are you still alive
Coz I never know
People are there
And then they go
And is it just my belief
That death could be blessed relief
Or some kind of saintly air
All I know is Heaven is there 
When you break the sun like a smile
And I’m wondering all the while
“Will this thing end?”
But I’m your friend 
In a come what may
I won’t give up on what you say
When you say it to me
I kiss the bird and I set him free

Dropping The Bass

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One moment of togetherness in the pit of my stomach
It’s like that drop when the rollercoaster plummet
And you know that there’s no going back
You’re my personal heart attack
In a dark room or on a screen
And it was later I saw you as the dream
Always at arms length away
Coz it’s not safe if you stay
That close to me
You’re threatening my captivity
And I wanna be free
So I got lost in a degree
Where I make two and two equal four
But you’re on the other side of the door 
Singing please let me in
So I let myself love him
Soft and slow
Like I am letting you go
But then I took a storm
Said this thing isn’t even warm
Though the lightning cracks
And you let loose some things you can’t take back
And I swore we’d never speak again
And I lost my tenuous faith in men 
But it keeps coming back to find me
I’m just being eccentric so don’t mind me
When this reel is done
I’ll shine like the fuckin sun