Tag: joy

The Forest Child

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The forest child in me 
Is longing for the rivers to let her go free
As I take refuge on the beach
That someone thought to teach 
Me was there
And I’m so grateful and I care 
About what will happen to this next generation 
Will it be beyond an education 
As I meditate
And something puts me in another state
Where I can fly
And I am not afraid to die
Into incandescent blue
Just because you 
Clutch onto fear 
Doesn’t meant that love is not near 
Ready to abide
And something in me hide
Away this secret deathless realm 
From the people who would submerge the helm
Like the girl with the degree
In deciding what to do with me 
When I confess 
That everything in that red dress
Always felt the same 
And she knows my name 
But she doesn’t get my soul 
If I told her each wave roll
Would she understand 
And I decide to forgive my man

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Third Eye Blues

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I got lost in the third eye blues 
And everything called me to pay my dues
But I didn’t have any money
Though I’m wealthy as fuck, honey
I slot the puzzle piece into the jar 
As I wonder what you are 
And the nomad in me looks for change
But it’s not the kind that rattles when you’re outta range 
It’s the kind that breaks like the sun 
Across the sky and over everyone 
And I play the perfect princess 
I know to whom I must address 
That painful moniker 
And you’ve all already met her 
Somewhere in my early teens 
When I was still staring across moonbeams 
Into the stars
I shook against the prison bars
And she had the key 
I didn’t realise that she was locking me
In there 
Or if I did I didn’t care
Because she used to make me laugh 
But when she shattered the glass she didn’t do it by half 
And I let it go, forgiveness now 
I’m good at that but some remains somehow
Like a grain of sand in the oyster shell 
I grit my teeth as I wish her well 
And I’ve lots of secrets I will never tell 
Well not to her, not now, though she rings the bell 
That signals me to come 
But, hun
I’m not Pavlov’s dog 
And in the fire there’s a log
Burning more than well enough to keep me warm 
And though you brought the storm 
I don’t hate you 
And fair play to the men who date you 
They have more steel than me 
But nothing is more real than eternity 
And it’s something that will not break
So though you shake 
Everything in sight 
I still give a shite

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The Pain And The Peace

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There is pain and there is peace
And there is a moment where both cease
To mean anything at all
And I’m staring at a wall
Just tap tapping my pen 
And I feel it all again 
And it is as though the universe rehearse
The plaid shirt poetry in my verse 
As it speaks to me through life
And I always thought I’d be a wife
But that doesn’t seem to be my thing 
I would prefer truth over a ring 
And I can’t condense this immaculate soul 
Into something that is just a role
For there is love and there is joy
But can I tie myself to a boy
Forevermore
And forsake the soul I adore
Or is there a way he can open the expanse
So that both our spirits will dance
Together in unison 
But he just chooses to get his gun
And shoot at cacti in the desert 
I question his poor self worth 
But he doesn’t seem to be inclined to rise
And settles like sand at the bottom of my eyes
And the glass is half empty, never full 
I bathe his wounds with cotton wool 
So it will not inflict too much pain 
But how can a man stand this much rain 
And I know the fields are green so 
There is much that will grow 
And an abundance of fertility 
And for all his virility 
I can’t put my finger on what isn’t gone 
I just know I can’t ignore our song 
As I pull back from the book and gram 
Some metaverse serving someone’s plan 
In the ether 
It’s not me either 
It’s a seed to sow 
I hold on, just so you know 
And though you beg me to let go 
It’s just not in my make up 
So why don’t you just wake up 
And see the sky above your head 
it will keep you from the dread 
That forms moats around your castles 
And I know you want a girl with tassels 
But I don’t think that’s what I am 
I said to him as I hold his hand 
And in confusion iridescent blue 
Meets my own in a new hue 

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The Litany Of Truth

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I try to block the truth from reaching me 
And all the universe is teaching me 
Has to turn into a baseball bat
Instead of the original welcome mat
He offered me love in the extreme
And though it was a part of the dream 
It had something real to it too 
And I realised I was in love with you 
But I turned away
Because what is it that people say
We are too different to make it work 
And you are bathed in the hurt
You’ve spent your whole life accumulate
And you’ve let it make you hate 
People you don’t understand 
But you’re beautiful and I love you, man 
And I know the dial will turn to spin on me 
So I let you go free
And I feel your resignation and resolution
But you know that is no solution 
So I have to intervene 
Did you hear me scream 
When my brain came apart in two 
That was life splitting me from you
And we both fragmented into an entangled particle 
And people start to call me “some article” 
But I don’t mind 
Because I have not left you behind 
You’re still in my soul 
Like the bed of truth and rock and roll 
And it doesn’t matter, come what may
I’ll sing this song to you and you’ll wake and say
I love you Laura 
And as I read your aura 
It will speak volumes of colour
And all that made you duller 
Will lift and release
And we will make that beast 
Retract into its cave
Go back into the dark so grave 
Like the boy I could not save
He became the man I crave

Commonplace Understandings

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I don’t know what we were
But I know I don’t wanna fight with her
But I feel her get my back up 
When I offer her love
And she slaps my hand 
Like the hourglass isn’t pouring sand
And all of us into the ocean 
Why are you afraid to show emotion
Is it just me 
Or is it the dragon that was set free 
Two decades ago 
And somewhere amidst the snow 
The annals of us are preserved 
I try to keep my cool but I am unnerved 
By the sheer lack of the sea 
In the meadows that lap against me 
And I can’t make it better and I can’t mend 
What she never broke but doesn’t intend
To rectify 
There is a part of us that can never die
And a part that does day by day
I wonder why she is that way
And the reason seems clear
But she doesn’t know how I hold her dear
And is it my lot to be unknown 
And only have my true colours shown 
When a stranger just walks into my days
And tells me I’m free in so many ways
And he thinks I hate him, I can hear him sigh 
But the mists move the mountains and I cry 
Out with the fear of it
But he’s alcohol and I take a sip 
And find myself head of heels 
Like I’m lost on instagram reels 
Just trying to find my source
I am not a child of divorce
But I know the fracture when the world splits 
Or the chasm that opens when death hits
You hard in the gut 
And someone you love things you’re in a rut
But I would never leave the flowerbed
Above the grave that marks your head 
So I’ll just let you know 
That I was not born to let go 

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Deliberations And Hesitation

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Are you a narcissist, I think I'd love you anyway
And I've had my truck with one before you came my way
And she goddamned broke my heart with her remarks 
And I lived for two months in the complete dark 
With no hope of light
But I said that it's alright
Because she is out of my life
Now I just want to be his wife 
And I see the familiar pattern 
Like I am coming at him 
When I just say how I feel
And I wonder if this is real 
Because I'm just sitting by his side
With no way to hide 
Anything that is inside
And I hear in the years that have moved on 
His memory of me is almost gone
And that he has got a girl
At least he tells me that in his world 
I am shy of the ceiling 
And there's no way he can be dealing 
With my kind of shit
But I just keep talking it
Though I fail to say the words I mean
You are my fucking dream 
You are my love and my heart 
And I just want to take part
In your life 
Does lightning strike twice? 
Or does love just make the ground
A place that can hold the sound
Of the thunder as it rolls
Something entwines our two souls 

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Metaphysical

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Thank you to whoever bought Metaphysical! If you are on here drop me a comment and let me know what you thought of it – good or bad.

It means so much to me that you guys read my work and enjoy it. That there are actually physical copies going into the hands of people around the world, whether they be my friends and family, or strangers I’ve met through the internet really fills me with appreciation.

So, thank you again ❤️❤️❤️

Oh, and didn’t miss the 11.11 💫

The Band Of Our Lives

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One avenue
I remember you had a sly eye
And I toyed with the idea
Of you being my guy
And you were sweet
And gave me strength
I don’t remember 
Where the self consciousness went
As you look at me
I can see the stars
Cave
Like all my prison bars
And I wonder where you be
And how you are
Remember the night
I picked you up in my car
And you looked so jazzed
And I felt so fly
I’m in love
And I don’t know why
And you stared in my eyes
When I dropped you off
I hope we’re still friends
And all is not lost
And I wonder if I could 
Kick back with you
I dunno if you
Still want me to
That I could be your Jess
Is this too cringey
You bought me a drink
Was I too stingy 
With my affection
As we open our hearts
There was no ending
So the magic starts
And the years roll by
Like a filofax
And you told me
To relax 
As I worried 
A frayed line of thread
Leave me thinking 
Of you instead
And I wonder what 
You would say if you
Knew all
That I’ve been through
Would it mar the image
You seem to have of me
You always seem to
Just give it to me free
As we laugh
The bursting joy
Saw you turn 
Man from a boy
And I always clicked
So you would know that I
Hold you close
Somewhere that can never die
And I wonder if you
Have a woman now
And if there’s still
Space for me somehow
Coz I want you to know
It’s more than a crush
And I know it’s been a decade
But we don’t have to rush
Just find our way
What do you say
Could we vibe
Like back in the day
And if I look to you
Would you look away
Coz I really 
Want you to stay
And make a fortress
That can’t be stormed
Keep a place
So the bed is warmed
As I hold your arm
And we kiss
I should be glad
You gave me something to miss
In your forest pure
And your deep brown eyes
You kind of know my heart
And it’s no surprise
That you had it all
Planned out in your mind
And I didn’t mean
To leave you behind
It’s just days were dark
And I scared myself
With the storms in
A teacup I spilt as I knelt
And you were so casual
And so on fire
You took my hand
And lifted me higher
And I haven’t forgotten
The good you do
I just don’t know
What to say to you
Coz I love you with
The full of my heart
And I want to close
The gap that keeps us apart
And I’d call your name
Across the expanse
If I thought that you
Would be down to dance
And kiss like you
Are still in the club
You have all I am
In your arms, love
And I’d love 
To be your equal
If I’ve written a history
Would you be the sequel 
To a place 
Where all is calm
Is our distance 
Just a false alarm
That can be quieted
By your soothing breath
You’ve gotta know
It’s not over yet
And I hold you
In a place so dear
No matter the clouds
The sky is clear

The Forces I Keep At Bay

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I’m not going making an enemy out of you
Not even if the whole world wants me to
And you’ve got the force of the women’s cause
And I’m on a stereo hitting pause
Because I can’t cope with what I see
That you had her as well as me
And I know it’s lame and it’s a whole joke
And I can’t get by on what I wrote
But I see you sometimes in the air
And feel the space where you’re not there
And everything’s like an answered prayer
And you’re the angel by which I’d swear
But the mountains roll down to the sea
And I am nothing if not free
Of everything you got to be
I don’t know if you were looking for eternity
But it was forever on the grass
Just the kind that doesn’t last
And you were the rain that lashed
And all the diagrams that smashed
But somehow you made a different choice
And I decided to hide my voice
In the realms of empty pages
I’ve written odes to the ages
Up against an empty wall
And I was running down the hall
Just to catch the trail of you
Til I realized you don’t want me to
So I just stop and stand still
Feel the force of all that will
Strive to keep heaven away
But it’s one shore I can’t hold at bay
And the march of time just goes on
Will there be a day when we’re both gone
Or does something just endure 
I call it the wave of pure
Consciousness that just abides
There are oceans that survive
The still and empty way you move
And if love is just a point we prove
Then there’s nothing left to lose
I don’t have a choice but it’s you I choose

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One To Remember

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It’s one to remember 
This night we’re losing our clothes
I know that you weren’t
The path I chose
But I still feel
So entwined
And I’ve a tendency
To call you mine
As you break out in laughter
It’s a sudden joy
I think I’ve fallen 
In love with a boy
As he innocently regales
Me with tales
Of him at the pit
I didn’t know back then
But this is It
And I’ve found my shore
The holy one that I adore
And years pass
Like we’re flicking a canvas
Like you’re wearing shoes
And holding up like Atlas
And I know you’ve a woman 
And I respect her claim
But I still love
The sound of your name
Against mine
And we’re just wasting time
Getting lost in love
And the Holy Spirit is a dove
To come down on me
Do you think we could be
Or is it just something
I have to let go
It’s not kosher, I know
And you’ve got so many flaws
And my winter never thaws 
To break out into spring
But I would give you everything 
If you don’t think to ask
I’ll let you in, at last

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There’s Darker Than That In The Shadows

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There’s darker than that in the shadows
And the girl rebelled on All Hallow’s 
Eve and there were claps of thunder
I saw them taking my number
So I ran and ran
Now no one can 
Reach me
And no matter what they teach me
I cannot unsee the truth
That perforated the wisdom of my youth
They try to placate
Say; find a perfect date
Find a man you can settle down with 
Though it might be hard coz you’re such a bitch
But I don’t care anyway
I just sway
With the leaves in the trees
As everyone believes that down on your knees
Is the way to free
But it just isn’t me
And the man is beautiful, the man is real 
But he just closes down how I feel
And say’s to me on the phone
Goodbye, Laura, now I’m alone
As the bombs go off
And I pay the cost
For the rattling rain 
That hammers my doorstep again
And again and again 
I can’t reasonably blame the weather on men 
But then I do 
I just blame you 
For casting me out
For casting aspersions and self doubt
On who I am 
And if I’ve any choice as to who I can 
Love, it will never be you 
Even if your baby blue
Is enticing 
My soul is advicing 
Me to depart
I do it all with solemn heart 

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Trapped In A Chasm (Part 2)

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I was trapped in a chasm of my own making
And there’s no telling what you’re forsaking 
When you let the riverbed run itself
And label me with poor mental health
For daring to see the truth of the matter
It’s about facing your demons or calling me a mad hatter
And Power is thin and lost
I get the sense he paid the cost
For his education
And now his profession is elimination
Of anything like a shoot of green
But he doesn’t see the roots in between 
The folds of soil
He tells me who I am and my blood starts to boil
Psychosis or manic depression 
But it is my confession 
That I have never known an altered state
In anything except the boy that I date 
On the sly
And it’s all getting by 
In the rocky shore
Could you not close the door
When I let you in
Because you are not him 
And I need to be open to 
The water that is flowing through

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Beautiful Disaster

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I found beauty in the trauma
And the flora and fauna 
Were hidden from me 
In the dark forest of history
And she enclosed me with a snare
It was almost as if I wasn’t there 
When she sent the splinter into my side
Did she really not want me to be alive
Because she did her best to trump the card
Did she realise she made things so very hard
And I was just a teen 
But I wanted to exit the dream 
By any ways and means 
And I’m sewing a dress but the seams
Keep busting and they won’t fit 
And there are no boys I want to hit
On anymore
The dark expanse was the door 
Into a greater purveyance
And the conveyance
Was suffering and pain 
Til I opened my arms to the rain 
And instead of getting wet
A sun broke that I cannot forget 
In my darkest night
I became the light 
Of the only and ever one
If you feel you are coming undone 
Then you are on the right track
And somehow I cannot go back 
To what I was
I know this because
I have tried
And I hide
My new found skin
With everyone except with him 
He just touched me paper thin 
And I realised destiny was a sin 
I long to make with his touch 
And I love him so very much 
Though he may never know
I thought he should so I let the bird go
And fly across the sea
To where he lay in grey mystery 
Just pondering a solace
But it was a volatile
Explosion in the moment of us
And though it hurt I still trust 
In the infinity that we are 
If you burn then let that star
Combust in its own atmosphere 
That’s how you know that God is near

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Sensual Revolution

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If I don’t write it now I never will
Why does our skill
In that department go unrewarded
Like an email that remains unforwarded
And we conform to all kinds of stereotype
When we step out of bounds it really isn’t nice
As we’re met with the lashings of society
Come on now, it can’t be just me
Because to be female means meek and compliant 
Not subject to feelings that are violent 
And rude and loud and unfettered 
In an avenue that cannot be bettered 
And there is so little discourse so I take to the web
To find out what I’m missing instead
But all this passion in the astral plane 
May be in vain
If I cannot make real 
All the beauty that I feel 
In our encounter as we roll the dice
And I am so much more than nice
When it comes to red and blue
Cold meets warm and me and you 
In the winter of my life
I found something beyond the strife 
And I may never be a wife 
But I’m letting go the night
As the only place to share
I step forward and I dare 
To break the silent vow
That we all follow somehow 
In case we would betray
Ourselves and what we’ve put away
For safe keeping 
But I amn’t sleeping 
When I cover the sin 
The simple joy of me and him

One Here

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I know that he and I 
Will always be one here, we will never die
Like all bodies are destined to
But I found heaven in you 
And it’s something that cannot be taken away
Not even when comes the day 
That the great forgive must let us go
As we travel into mists we do not know 
But I was bought and sold
The moment I saw solid gold 
Shine from his eyes 
And I know though he tries
He cannot separate
Me from the place where we equate
Everything we ever were
To the trust he found in her
And in us 
It’s not just lust 
It is a spiralling spark
That shines even brighter in the dark 
So much so that I wish for my old days
When I was lost in so many ways 
And the balance I’ve found
And the solid ground 
Only distances the despair 
I loved because you were there

The Saint

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The saint was born the day that I died
Like Gandalf the Grey becoming the White 
And there was no absorbing light 
Only a peaceful flame 
That does not go by any name 
You could call it earthy awareness 
And I could guess
What you mean by that 
But it gives you something it can’t take back
And when the dream is rendered moot
No one can play the flute
Not with you, not anymore
And they think I close the door
But the reality is I am pulled away
From the places I cannot stay
There is distance in between 
Me and her and her and what they seem
To be 
But free
Does not mean foolish or prude
I’m sorry if I appear a little rude
But I’ve got to speak my mind
When I don’t I do hard time 
At the institution they call St. Pat’s 
And there are welcome mats 
With my name written on 
They don’t realise I’m already gone 
As who I used to stand as 
And it’s nothing bad
But it is unusual and unexpected 
And it’s not as thought I would have rejected
Him without good reason
His love is a season
In the infinity of space time 
For a moment he was mine
And then we were separated 
Like the schools where we were educated 
In to make good people of us
With rulers and lines and teachers we could trust 
Some at least 
And I wonder if the last supper is a feast
Like it’s portrayed
And if Judas was dismayed
To be singled out like that 
And I wonder what was he at
To betray a saviour true
Til I had it done to me too 
By a girl I used to know 
She cracked the whip so I let her go 
And I don’t know if time is fast or slow
All I’ve realised is that it doesn’t exist though

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They Can’t Bring Me Down

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They can’t bring me down
Not with their hospital gown 
You know the one that I wear
When the fabric tear
On my suit
And I must be the proof 
Of what I want to hear
Must I hold dear 
The days in subterfuge
When everything’s the colour rouge
On the page
The shade of rage 
That pulls apart the sun 
And you know the one 
Is made to beat a heart 
Tearing all the stars apart
In the firmament where they lie 
I am not afraid to die
But to be caught
In a place where my spirit’s bought
By all and sundry 
And it’s quite the quandary
To be lilt bound around the halls
Of a place that is all walls
In brick and stone
I hear the ancients scream “leave me alone”
As behind the barrier some horrors are contained
I feel it in the pain
That emanate 
From the people in that state 
And there are souls that walk the corridor
Down to the art room on the first floor 
And there’s no way to say
That it isn’t me, okay
Because when I speak of vision 
They meet me with derision 
And false grandiosity 
It must be my animosity 
Reaching out to take a bite
Of my own kryptonite 
Does that mean I’m Clark Kent
Or the space where the hero went

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The One Good Thing About Hell

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The one good thing about hell
Was that Stephen wished me well 
And could see the light underneath
The ghost with the sheet 
Around her head 
(You know the one I got from the bed)
In the place with no name
Because the memory brings shame 
Upon my family
So I’m not allowed to mention it, we
Did it, it was a collective decision 
And I risk their derision 
If I reveal 
That I feel 
Just fine 
About my time 
In St. Pat’s mental institution 
It was some kind of a convolution 
In my degree 
Why does life have me down on one knee
Proposing to a saint
In the colour of blood that I paint
As it runs down the frame 
Of the place that brought me pain

Creating My Own Version Of Hell

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Creating my own version of hell
Just to wish you well 
And appease the masses 
Coz the girl’s got classes
That she takes on being herself 
And you could say that her wealth
Hinges on being all that she is not 
And if you try to help a lot
It will backfire
Because she tire
Of female dreams
When you pull the fabric at the seams
And enter into a plausible affair
With someone that isn’t even there 
And her sister bites
And ignites 
Passion she doesn’t know how to wear 
As she complains it isn’t fair
And resigns herself to a fate
She’s not even allowed to hate
Coz that could constitute a sin
A conflagration that’s within 
But I burn
With every axis turn
And understand how the devil might feel 
To be told that nothing is real 
And his existence is naught 
But a way to keep people caught
God is everything 
He’s in every broken wing 
And in every fallen star
There’s no way to escape what you are 
Even if you turn away
The Truth will have the final say

Getting The Message To Where It Needs To Be

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I’m getting the message to where it needs to be
Because people drown in a foot of sea
Water as it comes up to their throats
They don’t know they can stand up and hope floats
And seeks eternity in the bones
Of the body the soul has made home
We tiptoe around the fact
It doesn’t help that I want him back
In spite of all his flaws
And the way the icicle thaws
As it hangs like a stalactite
From the room I ignite 
With my Lára flame 
You know everything is in a name
And I am not to be crossed
But look, baby, all is not lost
Not if you count the shipwreck safe
But there’s a coast we can escape
To if you just open your eyes
But you keep them closed and something dies
In the subterfuge
And it’s all rouge 
Everywhere
And people who just do not care
About what has come to pass
And the part of love that last
Far past the point of surrender
I do everything I can to make you remember 
But you are lost in your nonchalant 
As I pick an adequate font 
To write out your epitaph 
You know you made me laugh 
So hard that day
But was I laughing at what goes away 
When the midnight is done
And there is a sun
That does not need light 
Or fusion to combust into all that’s right
And I know you hobble and I know that spiders’ webs
Weave their tendrils above your head
I’m just here to be a reminder
That if you look you will find her
Right where she always was
Under the stone of your in-laws

The Salvation In Plurality

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I can feel the brimming thunder
In the sky we’re living under
And the people I railed against
Were the ones who were heaven sent
And just wanted to aid and abet
Me in the mission to forget
All that had come to weigh me down
So I walked around the town
Looking at signs
I was trying to diamond mine
Searching for a holy gem
And I did it once, twice, again
And somehow the men
Never hurt me 
The danger seemed to just skirt me
By degrees
Til I fell to my knees
And begged the wonder out thieves
Help to steal away all that I believe
And they were only too happy to comply
And I thought I would die 
Under the weight of their heavy handed slap
I crumpled up the map
And took a picture in the garden of Dean Swift
So looking back would be a gift
But I could only see clarity
Not the mental illness they made of me
Searching for some hidden pain
Well I looked again and again
But I could never find
Evidence that I was out of my mind
For seeing love in every shape and form
And loving bodies while they’re warm
And vital and young and free
Shit, is that guy staring at me
But anyway I’m letting sleeping dogs lie
Let go of the merely getting by
On what I think I know 
My sisters on the branch they bow 
In the aching powder they blow 
Into my face like I’m in the know 
And I’m annexed into a space
Where I only see your face 
Smiling at me 
I was out the door when they set me free

Always And Forever

.Reading time 1 minute.
Always and forever in bubblegum pop
I will always be something that you are not
And strive to reach
But something they cannot teach
Is that you are what you are
And everyone burns like a star
Til its collapse into a black hole
The light returns to its soul 
Somewhere in the deep
In a universe where you cannot speak
Of the secrets they utter
And the shutter
Flies shut on the window
As I see her with him, though
And drop out of the sky
Because some people want to die
When they see their lover
With another
But all I feel is gratitude
That she holds the heart of that dude
And keeps him warm
Because every storm
Crashes upon my shore
And everything means something more
Than it’s first inception
And your deflection
Does nothing to dim
The weight of worlds I am to him
I see it in his eyes
And that never dies
Once it is born
So forlorn
Though so replete 
The lady washed the man’s feet
With her hair
I know because I was there

What Wants To Come Through

.Reading time 1 minute.
I sit and wait for what wants to come through
But it only ever speaks of you
And what we are
Some far distant star
Shines on us both
And the coach
We took to the sea
Set the both of us free
You can trust me
I will be here
Always, for you, dear
Though you may not see me in the leaves
You don’t need to believe 
Just trust and open to what is
And I know that she is his
But I welcome her care and her devotion
I can feel it in his emotion
As he speaks to me 
And eternity
Is on his breath
But, still, he does not forget
Because almost never crossed the line
And we are us for all of time 
In every winter that the trees shake
I will be there and when you wake
You will see my subtle stance
I’ll love you always in this dance

Eternal Clothes

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Marriage and prose
And less travelled roads
Did I find mine
With a stranger who just took a moment of my time
And let me be
He let me go free
When I felt the fear encapsulate
Because he might want to date
Me
And eternity
Is all I know
But I have to let you know
I don’t do boys and girls
I do you are my world 
And you have become
Everything I thought when I was young
As we just talk 
And we just walk
You lift my bag
And I drag
My feet behind me
But do not mind me
I’m just shy
And I’m gonna love you til the day I die
It’s not your choice
But I raise my voice 
To let you know 
That this love won’t let me go
And find another
You’re like a lover 
I never had
And the feeling bad
Does not eclipse
The anticipation of your lips 
On mine
There was a time
I thought we were naught
Til I saw the line you bought 
With the skyline in the air
So I let you know I care
In stuttering vowels
And the wolf of death, he prowls
On the edge of conversation
And education
Can’t save us here
But she just might, my dear
And I do not begrudge 
The way you choose to express your love
And find it reflected 
In the heart you have selected 
To be yours 
And the water pures 
As it pours through the filter
And time will wilt her 
But it will not change 
The way the atoms rearragnge
To form a sphere 
I will always be with you, dear

The Empath

.Reading time 1 minute.
The empath walks and she believes
In everything she finds upon her sleeves
To be hers
But all the wars
That people fight
In their own candlelight
Are open season
And she finds the reason
To live
And forgive
The girl that broke her heart
And left her in the darkest dark 
In the age of fourteen
There were nights I couldn’t dream 
At all
And every wall
I ever faced
Was somehow out of place
In this vast open space
Like stars in the darkness of the case
We are all held within
And the notion of sin
Is archaic and grey
And I don’t believe in it anyway
As I make my First Confession
I sit in the pews wondering what expression
Of grief I should portray
Because I cannot find the way
To see evil inside of myself
Everything is ancient and on the shelf
And I take it down and dust off
The trust that all is not lost
As dawn breaks and I realise
That I am more open skies 
Than I ever was land
I see you there and I take your hand
And lift you up
And if I ever thought I knew love
It was this moment here
You are my eternal, dear

Everest

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Her pain is a mountain
That I can’t scale 
Like many on Everest
I’m born to fail
But I keep coming back
To her heavenly light
Whispers in the morning
You’ll be alright
And we grow up
Dust ourselves off
But we’ve still got 
That persistent cough
That hints at something
Underneath
She lowers a blow
Knocks me off my feet
And I know 
She don’t mean it
But did I 
Dream it
That we once were something true
Until I disappointed you
By being myself 
In a garden of verdant wealth
All to blossom and free
Sorry but, babe, you’re gnawing at me

Sexy Motherfucker

.Reading time 1 minute.
Sexy motherfucker up on the stage
I put pen to paper and ruin the page
With all that I yearn for in the night
You’re one kind of trauma I don’t have to fight
As you sing with your heart and soul
And I feel the ache in the place I am not whole 
In the summer of a winter’s glen
Will this happen to me again 
If I don’t swim in ocean water
Trying to be a good daughter
And adhere to the lines 
If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times 
Skiing down the hill
Against the force of the brutal will
That seems to hold us all at bay
And it is not okay
Just to swim in that sea
Is it that you’re talking to me
When you commit me to a room
And I become familiar with the realm of doom
As it beats on my door 
Telling me it wants me more 
Than any earthly thing could contain
The paint is stripped by acid rain 
As it pours down in sheets 
The car is ruined and the sheep bleets

Jesus Is Lord

.Reading time 1 minute.
The burning pain encases my soul
And like the waves I roll and roll
Until I crash to the floor
And all I used to adore
In verdant green
Is part of what it means 
To walk in this skin
And part of me’s in love with him
As we age and pale
Giving up what’s not for sale 
To the highest bidder
It’s first come, first served and the weather
Is just one more seasonal spin
Do I let him in
Coz he’s knocking down my door
Hammering ever more and more 
As the years pass 
And I was outclassed
In the long grass
And today I went to Mass
And felt that age old relief
As I stepped back into belief 
As I stare at a man on a cross
Thinking all is not lost
Coz my Saviour died for me 
But He lived and that sets me free
That Truth exists 
And quells the sound in the mists 
That grapple and let me go
This cloud looks like it’s full of snow
Or thundered might
But Jesus loves me and I’m alright

Photo Credit: https://pin.it/5eSMcGv

Remember Me, Love

.Reading time 1 minute.
Remember me, love
As I lie in wait
I sit on the bed
And think of a date 
I once had with you
I was one of the few
To walk in that open door
Would you like to see the shore
That laps the waves
And all the lost boys it saves
And Barry made a joke of me
But he was hella cute
Even if he did play the flute
And I’m looking at Hozier
On a magazine
Thinking he might just be the dream
Some Andrew Byrne with height
I bet we’d never fight
Only do things 
He dare not speak
Lest I see where he’s weak
And now I have the freedom
To be encased
Do you remember 
The first time our hearts raced
As we sat side by side
Just bristling with the feeling
Of being alive
And you zing with magic
Some electric touch
And I know I’m someone 
You’d like to rush
Into something unseen
I’m just part of the dream
On your screen
No solipsis, just the Queen
To put a crown on your head
And there are mornings
We could wake up dead
But, so far, we’re good
No Snow White in the wood
Just a single dancing elf
That asks you to just be yourself
When you move with me
It’s priceless, baby, but its free

Running A Ten

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
My energy system’s running a ten
And I’ve blown the fuse on the light again
And they all think I have psychosis
Some modern kind of neurosis
And it may be true that the mind
Is having trouble leaving behind
All the dreams of yesteryear 
But there’s a part of me that shows no fear
That knows, that simply realise
That everything is the sky in your eyes

Brutal Blows And The Reveal

.Reading time 1 minute.
Death, the scar scabs over
But I pick at it 
Until it starts to bleed
And I must take heed
And heal again
Did I lose a friend
When the ocean between us
Was a nightmare so dark I couldn’t dream it
And I thought I could clamber back
But you build a house on what you lack
And I try to find away in
But I just face the sin
That builds a wall
Like the maniacs down the hall
Do 
What about you
What’s on your scene
If you could paint it on a screen 
Coz you keep it tight lipped
Would you notice the glitch if the track hadn’t skipped 
On the part where Weird Al riffs
I know there are those who’ve called me a bitch 
And maybe there’s an element of truth in their professions
But I would never want to force a confession 
Like she did to me
Did you see
The welt that she left
Cut my heart with a blade so deft
And it was like it all caved in
Til the light broke and I met him
And he showed me a shine
That used to be mine
In the days before 
She didn’t want me anymore 
But the clue
Was that I chose you
In the forest of dreams
And the screams
Are not as sharp as they used to be
Am I desensitized or do I just see
What’s there to unfold
I think I found my fields of gold

Rhythm Section, Immaterially

.Reading time 1 minute.

https://youtu.be/UOS5CP8tzYQ

Cause of death, dying
What do you expect, trying 
And I try to reason
With him but it’s just a season 
In the garden he grows
It’s all flowers and God knows
I try not to be the sky
Reflecting blues in his eyes
As they stare up at the sun
But I think he might be the One
As he moves in a sashay
And he can have me any way
He likes to entertain
And his love is not in vain
As he holds a paper heart
Out and it makes my own start
Beating a rhythm I cannot contain
Would the sky take back the rain
It had cried in tears
If it meant it could erase the years
That have gone in between
The midnight of someone else’s dream
In a come what may
What is it that the people say
That there is a wilderness beyond the hedge
And you are more than the pond you dredge
To bring up gold
And that story’s never told
If you’re looking for a quick line
In the bathroom for the thousandth time

Full On Headwreck

.Reading time 3 minutes.
He’s full on emo
And he’s got my heart
I didn’t give it to him
He just took a part
And stole away
Into the night
He says it’s cool
And I’ll be alright
But I’m here listening to
Dashboard Confessional and you
Are some other where
With some other girl 
While I turned inside out
And upside down my world 
And he just smiled
It’s like the lightning crack
He just sighed 
And doesn’t want me back
But he paints daydreams 
In my delusions
I’m all psyduck
In my own confusion
As I try to get close
But it’s like trying to catch a frightened ghost
As he comes near and then far away
And I’m at a loss for what to say
Coz he is perfect 
He’s pristine
I’m living the teenage dream
At thirty one
He still burns like the sun
And I feel the heat from over here
Is it okay if I call you dear
Coz you’re cute and fine
And fuckin lovely
You rain the showers of clouds
That wait above me
And I’m here listening to Something Corporate 
Coz you think it is important 
And I had earmarked 
Each page that you wrote
I wore down your facebook 
With all that I quote
And it’s ancient with the life
You took out west with a new bite
And I just smile at my own defiance
And you’re all self reliance
That can get by by yourself
Do you think I could add to your wealth
By shoving a note under your door
Goodbye means I love you more
As I hold back the knot of fist
That wishes to tell you I exist
But you’ve got a chick
And I bet she’s cool
I’m yesterday
And follow rules 
So don’t be mad
Don’t hate me either
Just be glad
We swam through the ether
And found each other 
One day on the grass
For me at least
The feeling last
And if you’re truly
Down with the kids
Could you explain
The moment that is
As I sigh a grey September
Your breath is something I remember 
So cool and real and hip and dude
The beauty that you exude 
Without even trying
And you know I would be lying
If I didn’t say
Hook, line and sinker
I’m more a daydreamer
Than a thinker
And I always wish for you
But I don’t know what I can do
To catch what’s mid air
The moment is high but I’m there
And then come back down to earth
I didn’t mean to hurt
Your precious and sincere
I’m just writing this
To say I love you, dear

The Sky Pouring Ocean

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Why do I feel the ultimate pain
When the girl is making it rain
And it comes down in a sea of screams
Waking people from their dreams 
And could it be grace that I
Was willing to die
For what I believe 
It’s an ocean that I leave
Behind when I set out on my way
And you can’t trust what people say
You watch what they do
And I am staring at you
For an eon forever
As if you could be a hopeful endeavor

Big Fish

.Reading time 1 minute.
I look at the big fish
Thinking he's such a dish
But he's only catching flies
In the interval between the birth that dies
And yet I can sense even in him
A light that shines within
And the dark is threatening summer
So I switch off the lights and hear that drummer
That calls to me to speak my mind
Share my soul and my life in kind 
And I somehow know that this will come true
Because I have ultimate faith in you
To be and bring all I have to know 
I hold on to let go
Of what is not real or true
But the beef with this is that I pay my due 
A hundred times over in advance
And everyone is in a sort of trance
I click my fingers and 
Lose sight of an hourglass worth of sand 
But time is nothing new
Just the force of gravity working on you
As your skin folds down
And slowly sinks into the ground 
And you call that the end
I call it another friend
That just shows you that the permanent 
Is not held in the thing that went
But in the eternal, immutable soul
I spin the hands on the clock and fold

The Door Opened

.Reading time 1 minute.
The door opened and the sun shone through
Now I'm blinded by all of you
In my psychois
I am precocious 
As I make awakening look simple
Then suddenly hard
It's like It flicks a switch
And deals the final card
To make good on a promise true
And I trust in it too
Because it broke the fragile seam
And I realised that the dream 
Can't cage the forest of my heart
So I make my pain make art, make art
And it's all a wonder in the deepest blue
An ocean that I saw in you
And it surged into 
A tidal wave surge
And I craved to find the bird 
That alighted on the tallest tree
And the flood just freed me 
From shackles I didn't even know were there
And somehow It knows that care 
Is only meant for a temporary incarnation
But your soul and its appellation
Is more universal than creation
Could ever contain
I came down as the softest rain

Where To Start

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
The door swings shut
On another adjacent dream 
I run like wildfire 
Or an untethered seam
That's freed from it's hold
And the scene is gold
As everything magnifies
Exactly what never dies
And I feel a heartbeat in my chest
Just thump thump and forget the rest

Paper Trains

.Reading time 2 minutes.
https://pin.it/4LrKnqa
Using money as a measurement for success 
All I get is lost in distress
And unconsciousness
As I cling to the wall
Then the whole thing fall
And I look at the rubble at my feet
Why did God let us meet
If he didn’t intend us to be together 
I scream in the morning air and the weather
Utters no reply
As dawn breaks over the seat where I lie
And that was back in ten
Number one on my list of men
That I adore
It’s like I found him on the shore
I used to seek solace on
But after I met you the whole thing was gone
It burned up like a candle flame
And all I have to hold is your name 
And I remember your hand so soft and cool
That summer we met after school
In the park
And the field is green but the dark
Is just around the corner and I
Know what it is to be left out to dry
Like washing on the line
But don’t worry about it, it’s fine
He looks deeply into my eyes
And I’m momentarily without disguise
Or words to play
“I didn’t know you loved me that way”
I stutter a response
He’s not fooled
The evening changed
And the heat it cooled
Down into a summer balm
And all I feel is this unearthly calm
Creeping over the edges of my perception
The perfect kind of misdirection
To make the minute hour long
“I didn’t know you were that strong”
And the wellspring bubbles to the surface
“My God, aren’t you perfect”
In the moment we hold each other
I could never love another
The way I love you
I close my eyes and it’s just us two

The Peace Of Me

.Reading time 1 minute.
Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com
They’re gonna think I’m a bad person
I hear my ego boom
There’s only room for one
Of us in this room
And the heat is warm
I don’t have the heart for another storm
Only winter is coming
I feel the chill
Calls the leaves off the trees
That suddenly will
Fall to the floor
The pine soft carpet 
If you look for Love
You’ll find that you are It
In the summer weather
As you walk amongst the heather
In purples and blue
All reflecting the shades of you
To let the seasons be
Is more than has ever been asked of me
Coz I fight the tide
That screams the moon means you’re alive
But a cyclical wind
Only ever blows more karma and sin
What is beyond
I ask the air and abscond 
Into serenity
Be still and know the Peace of me

Understand

.Reading time 1 minute.
Watching the polarities
Rise and fall
Male and female
Being brought to the boil
As we push the boundary
Of what we think we know
But they’re just categories 
And we have to let them go
As gender becomes
A fluid concept
And the powers that be
Are sure to jump on it 
And tell us 
What we should understand
Now that non binary
Is in demand 
And you say conservative
Or a liberal foe
It’s all in the ball you throw
With your good arm
No need to sound the alarm
On the adjacent feminist
They don’t get how some things exist
Except to say a right
Is where the opposites ignite
And I’m just sitting here
In the crosshair 
I couldn’t fight
The reason that was there

Trauma And Its Evidence

.Reading time 2 minutes.

https://youtu.be/zlsEbeX8IG8

Do I break the lid on categorical pain
That seems to be as seasonal as rain
And some people walk through a waterfall
But they don’t seem to get wet at all
And I climbed up mountains and I ran down valleys
Befriended enemies and demonized allies
But it never got me away
From what I quintessentially say
And as a baby I cried a lot
But what was it that time forgot
My first day of school
Or when that girl broke the golden rule
Watched my reflection in another’s eyes
Or felt the pain when somebody dies
Like my skin is being ripped from my bones
Or the silence when I’m all alone
Feels so much like peace
When the noise cease
And you can’t erase the childhood you own
The good, the bad, before the iPhone
That we didn’t post
Or the narcissism when that person ghost
Me over something I didn’t say
So I let her walk away
Took it out on a guy
Who was the answer and the reason why
The stars shone like diamonds in his eyes
He suddenly lit up the night skies
And the river runs deep and true
I forgot about loss the moment that you
Held my hand, they were all asleep
And is it just like a trinket I keep
Like so many others
And the cloud smothers
Me with its love 
Though I still look above
For a being I can’t find
I didn’t really go out of my mind
I just had to get away
And what people say
Claws at me
But the thaw reaches deep and sets me free
From the aching of time
A moment, nothing, and then It was mine

The Terrifying Moment Of Us

.Reading time 1 minute.
Photo by Chermiti Mohamed on Pexels.com
The loss means taking a hit
You think it means nothing but I feel every bit
Of pain you inflict
And I can call you a dick
But it doesn’t change the feeling inside
All I do is hide
It from prying eyes
But there’s a time when the disguise
Is a weight to bear 
And I tie up my hair
Because it’s too long
And your song
Still rings in my ears
Throughout the years
Of uncried tears
And I’m just sitting in my car at the Mall
Thinking of the time you called me pal
And I can’t get back that day
And it’s in everything you Say
That we can’t hold ourselves back from the bridge
That holds us over the river 
Do I forgive her
For the darkness that she opened
Like a Pandora’s box
But something undid the locks
And I can credit her with something she did not
Know she was doing
And all these dreams I’m pursuing 
Are just ways I escape 
From Superman’s red cape
As it tries to cover me 
And tell me I’m free
But I’m sad and I’m weak
I remember days I couldn’t speak
For want of crying 
Why is everyone dying
Slowly, then all at once
Kinda like how you fall in love

Steven On The Stillorgan Road

.Reading time 1 minute.
I think you are beautiful, I think you're a star
You really don't know how lovely you are
And I'd love to look at you and see you within
Your soul forms a shape and its constellating
And your eyes they are diamonds that shine from your core
I'd love to love you and then a little bit more
And your face draws my gaze but I don't want to stare
All I know is that I know you are there
And you don't fade away and you do not flinch
In the years that have passed you have not moved an inch
And we may be old and weary on the bone 
But I know in your presence I am not alone
And I wish I could spend some time by your side
Kiss the ground that you walk because you walk alive 
Shrink the violets to colour the room 
Thank you for coming not a minute too soon 


Photo Credit: https://pin.it/4jJmaS8

Take My Hand (True Love)

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Stray I follow
And her words are hollow
Like the rings round her eyes
Everything lives and dies 
And she can't shake the spectre
That hides in the window 
So she finds love 
But it isn't in him though
And the monsters don't drag
Her out of the bed
In the morning
Do I wreck your head
Or can you contain what I say
I like you, is that okay
But I don't agree with all you do 
Or how you justify it to you too
And I'm down with all of the vibes
You emulate 
And you call my bluff on fate
But something weaves 
Its way in and out of thread
I choose myself instead
Of the same damn old fight
Burning in the firelight
And it's something serene
Do I really crack the dream 
Open like an egg on the pan
Does anyone know who I am 
Coz I think he did 
But then I hid
And he bought the lie
But I had to try
To tell the truth
But I'm just selling my youth
And auctioning it to the highest bidder 
And the thoughts in my own head make me shiver
With the terror of movement going
And now the wind is snowing 
In the middle of spring 
Did I really give up everything 
Just to get to New York
The road bends just beyond the fork 
And I can't choose
Based on what I've left to lose
I must be pulled though
And it's the sight of you
That's driving me on
True Love isn't gone

Somewhere Clandestine

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Stuck in ‘08
It was my date with fate
As it led me to your door
Did you want me more
More than I can attest
And we’re both fully dressed
But I feel your eyes rake over me
Like we’re naked with destiny
Just us and the come what may
And you fill up the gaps in what I cannot say
But it’s subterfuge and we’re resting in hiding
But there’s something of love that is all abiding
Now you’re sharing your soul with someone else
With skin so thin you could make a heart melt 
With the fire that burns off you
It seared a part of me too
And I can’t change the fact of you
I’m not the same and neither are you
But we both kinda are
Like the atoms forged in a star
Or the matter that make time and space
Bend the equivalent of the human race
To the tune of light refract
I never said no but I still want you back
Standing outside my window
It’s true there were days that I looked at him, though
And I cannot deny my feelings were real
With the depth of the red that he deal
An ace of hearts
And mine almost starts
To beat double time
He was the essence of fine
As he’d crack a smile in my direction
Like he’s open to cards if I make selection
And he lives just across the hall
And he kinda caught the ball
When I threw it at him
Is it a decision I cannot win
Coz I love them all 
The truth in my own freefall

Live In It With Me

.Reading time 1 minute.
I've got a house by the coast
And I'd like you to live in it with me
I know we've had our differences 
But would you just forgive me
Coz you're like the rain 
Thundering on the roof
You're like the love
The myth and the proof
And I've seen so long
The years of doing it so wrong
And you're over there
But you've got to know that I still care
As her lashes weave
Everything you might believe
Up the edges of your sleeve
Like the heart you keep on lock or leave
And I hold it so tight
Because you are alright
You know, 
And I go
And seek the forest in the trees
It's not everyone that believes
But somewhere in the sidelines 
I know that you do
I've got a home for us
Well, for me and you

Photo Credit: https://unsplash.com/photos/okVXy9tG3KY?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditShareLink

Sigh

.Reading time 1 minute.
Letting go of what he did to me
Letting go of what she said
Letting go of the nightmares
That haunt me troubled in bed
Coz I’m living untethered
I’m a wildebeest at heart
And all I seem to know how to do
Is make my pain into art
And I paint my own canvas
I love the glorious white
But the colours of rainbow
Make the fire in me ignite
And I throw in some earphones
It’s punk rock and emo lite
I nod to the folks you asked
If I was alright
And I’ve got fury
Burning a candle
Maybe I’m just too hot to handle
But I’m an Aries and my planet Mars
Rules the conduct in the passing of stars
And you’ll never be able to touch
What is beyond your reach
I didn’t come here for students
I’m not one who has to teach
To live my own compass point 
It’s been years since the Love anoint
Me with its holy Chrism
I try to get away but it seems the answer is Him
And He brushes my hair out of my face
Looks down from Heaven and gives me a taste
Of what it must be like to live in the realm
Where God is a friend and Truth is at the helm
In the midnight of another sorrow
I get by on daydreams and the light I borrow 
From the sun that gives me life 
Seems the setting shade gives you twice
The morning on replay
It’s always bright at the break of day

Your Own

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You showed me the sky
It was your own shade of blue
And there is a timelessness 
That lives in you
And everyone you touch
Is a resonant hum 
It took me ten years
To see you’re the One
The One in All
The Jesus who stands
The love of my life
When I’m holding your hands
And they’re soft to the touch
And gentle and warm
Who’d ever have known
We’d have kicked up a storm
Like dust under feet
When the wind blows a tune
Something is echoing
Now you’re in the room

My Secret Escape

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I had feelings for you back in the day
But then I just used you to explain Darragh away
And he’s the secret that I’ve been keeping
The magnificent dragon quietly sleeping
In the recesses of my soul
Is there a together in the growing old
Where we can both warm our hands by the hearth
Find our own way in the dark
As he speaks to me
Weaving a thread on the tapestry
To paint the picture of us
And we’ve always had trust
Why did you hide your face
So I couldn’t keep you in place
Where you were
Let you run off with an adjacent her
In the winter of my life
Moored in strife
As the cavalry came
To take all but my name from me
Then suddenly starshot in the oblivion
I saw a remnant of what I’d been living in
A moment of truth
And I can’t claim the auspices of youth
Anymore
Is that you at my door?
Well, for God’s sake come in!
You’ll catch your death if you’re waiting for him

The Foundation

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A permanent doubt in the foundation
It cracked at the onset of my education 
And I dressed myself each day
But something had gone away
And I try to function and be strong
But all I wondered is where I went wrong
To be so fragile and weak
A sensitive I cannot speak 
As I try to hold it all together
But you cannot ignore the weather
As it blows in a storm
At least the heat keeps you warm


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