You let them come and take me But you know they’ll never break me Not with their steady lines Although I may have had the strangest times When I walked rote lines far afield The defense is tough but the forwards yield And let me in, they let me through So I was able to send a message to you For all the good it did me, you didn’t listen And now my teardrops glisten Against the pavements I walk upon I know they look grassy but it’s gone The concrete jungle claims my love And I’m always calling the realms above Asking for a stay of leave But they just tell me to believe And trust and have faith in you And Lord knows I don’t know what else to do
The control and the weariness As I trek down the path they mark But I think they’re stumbling in the dark Trying to cut a swathe I was a person the darkness saved From being a rote learned bitch It saw me open and made the switch Now I’m the nothingness expanse The emptiness when it starts to dance And there is no way to compare What was to what isn’t there And Mooji says we’re cool And I graduated from school With the best I could I swore I would leave that wood Behind with my peace of mind As Tru spoke to me and I took it to heart There was a life which depart And I met another pair of eyes That looked at me with no disguise And he is the Heaven and Earth to me It’s fifteen years and I let him see That a gravity in his bones Walked me right out of my alones And she was by my side I dunno why I thought to hide What was real and raw From the viciousness of an outlaw Who abides not in time It’s all I can do to make it rhyme Zippered in a tent so tight And I wonder if we’re alright In the place it hurts I don’t want to make it worse But I think you need to hear it from me I take off my glasses and now I see
If I’ve got to forgive the world It’s gotta include you I don’t think you know What you did, do you Coz you sent a dart Right through my heart Until God made my pain Into some kind of art And I’ve been holding a grudge Since 2005 And it’s a wonder I’m still alive With all the splicing My soul seems to do And it seems the splinter Began with you As you took an axe To my great tree Thinking you could fell The very best of me And I came crashing To the forest floor Til I realized pine needles Were something I could adore Coz they’re born of my symmetry And they contain All of the teardrops I drank in as rain That nourished the flow That pumped my veins With blood that heats A thousand refrains And colours them The deepest hue I’m red as a sunset sky And I let it through Like a shepherd’s delight To signal the morning Will be alright And the storming Will give way To a fragrant calm I close my eyes And trust the alarm
I’ll be the clarion call To let the demons out The things that people suffer under The fear, my dear, self doubt And they locked me up in ashes But I still was free Coz even though they do their best They can’t get the best of me
And the clock ticked, did it go back Am I getting enough of slumber And but for the men I loved I woulda been just a number In that place where the halls have eyes And everyone walks tiptoe It’s eggshells we’re treading on So that you might not know
And I had a bed and my own room It was number sixteen And I’ve been dealing with this kind of shit Since I realized the dream As I hop on a hopscotch Afraid to cross the line Is there a difference between being here And doing hard time
And I hid out in the activity room Rifling through a storm I hope they might not find me That’s how I kept the candle warm But they did and told me so There was a place to greet But I’m moving dough with my hands Can’t make it move my feet
And the third time I was in there Barry called my name He asked if he could speak to me, if it was all the same But he was laughing sideways Out of the corner of his mouth He thinks that he might have a clue As to what I’m all about And, God love him, he was precious But he set the dial to spin So I called the shots and called it off Walked out of the room with him
And, the laughter, it was breaking like a wave upon the shore I left the card on my desk so that it might love me more And my sides they’d split with Aoibhínn coz she was such a hoot She talked me out of dangerously quiet as I stood mute
And I drew an eye on the wall in the smoking room It was a lot more like freedom than it was the bells of doom And they only scrubbed it out a year later and I see There was a part of them that loved a part of me Or with a certain fondness I recall what they say It’s not the present moment but you will be okay So I crumpled up the paper and threw it in the bin Conceded defeat coz you know I cannot win
And the monuments of time will fall beneath the sea But there’s something eternal that beats the heart of me And I can’t put my finger on it or tell you what it is Only suffice to say that being born is not to live Beyond the realms of death In the halls that I vacate I think they had me wrong Coz I love the thing they hate
And summon up a showstorm In the dead of the night The sun that is within me Can’t help but be bright As all I ever am And all I’ll ever be I can’t bring myself to regret That I asked you to dance with me
She made a run for the dash A finish line of I want cash And it was as though I was the bank No one there you gotta thank And she drew from me the ebb and the flow Til I conceded to let her go And it was not without reservation But I’m not tuned to that tv station And really sad could be a description But it wasn’t I who forced the eviction As she moved my hand to sign the ink The sign on the wall said “think” And I fell apart in the ruins of us It was as though I couldn’t trust Even my step to hold firm And I know there are things to learn But you had me in close by the soul Til you told me that you don’t roll With the punches like I do And I have to Accept that you Are distancing and space in between What was summer is now just a dream I had at fifteen I let you go and leave the scene
I used to blaze a trail I was always on fire If you get the down low It’ll take you higher And I had a taste Of the Immaculate Heart Found something within me That will never depart Then I lost faith And all in ruins Went day drinking With howareya’doin’s Til I Hit the floor And at rock bottom There was a trapdoor That let me out Or let me in I sign my name In love with him And he sees me there Upon a hill Does destiny decide Or some higher will About whether or not We’re meant to be Til I found myself Down on one knee Professing all I can’t contain Like the clouds when it starts to rain And, aghast, he grips a chair “But I thought there was nothing there” Now I’m all at sea And must accept the calamity That follows my footsteps down the road I kissed a prince And found a toad And I’m laughing, laughing Coz there’s nothing wrong And he leads with the power of song Always to his beholden one And I wouldn’t wish them undone For any power in the world of man I smile but I don’t know how you can Let this be and let this go I just wanted you to know You were the soundtrack of my summer year And I’m gonna always hold you dear And visualize my own scene I’ll meet you somewhere, maybe when you dream In avenues and wonder spells It was lovely, our show and tell
I don’t know if you’re watching here But I want you to know I love you, dear And I feel you close as the skin The arms, the legs, the body I’m walking in And you touched my soul more than I can announce I try the words but I can’t pronounce The monumental you mean to me, love Let me meet him again I ask God above
The Poetry Book 