Tag: hope

Collapse Of All

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The war takes my breath away 
That people could still think in that way 
In terms of human animals and sorting knives by their edge
The sharpness of the thoughts in their head
As they strike their enemy down 
But what if their enemy lived in this town 
And they decided to blitz it 
Because they say that violence fits it 
And it deserves decimation 
I think of the train station 
Where I once met him 
And the idea is so grim 
That he would be the men in the verse 
Where they say women and children first 
And I have to leave him on the ship 
Or hands behind his back tied with a zip 
In a grave at Nasser with nothing to identify 
I watch as a mother cry 
And scream over the loss
If this is innocence then why do they pay the cost 
For a button you press 
And guns they fire, you know the rest 
I don’t need to elucidate 
Because I’ve touched the educate 
In Middle Eastern politics 
And the lump in my throat still sticks 
When I hear the students soar 
And demand that the people in charge do more 
To prevent what happens to a child 
Lost somewhere in a wild
Wild world 
Sometimes it’s a blessing to be born a girl

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Asking You Jesus

.Reading time 4 minutes.
I disappear into the silence
And it is a form of violence
To let no one know 
That I am letting go 
Of my tenuous connection to reality 
For an inoculation from this insanity 
Everyone clicks like 
Meanwhile there is a spike 
In the suicides in the area and I just want to scream 
It’s the end of somebody’s dream 
And maybe all they needed was a hand to hold 
Or someone to have told 
Them that they’re worth it 
I wish they didn’t have to hurt, it 
Is so unfair 
Because I’ve been there 
It was in the mists, long ago 
But I know
I know 
And there’s just this pause
When you realise that all is lost 
And all the compassion in the world 
Couldn’t save the girl 
From her fate
I ate what was on my dinner plate
And they drove me away 
Storm after storm until I couldn’t say 
What was winter and what was just plain cold 
Life’s a bitch when you’re made of gold
And everyone craves your Midas touch 
I told the boy I love him so much 
But he just tells me to fuck off 
A few years before a common cough 
Could spark panic in the collective zone
I think I wrecked it on the phone 
When I tried to pour my heart’s blood
Onto a floor that was too good
To ever be a non stick pan 
I just wanted him to know what I am 
Meanwhile I’m sitting in the ward with Sarah 
And I care, ah 
Now she is shaking 
And all staff are just baking 
Their cakes in the oven 
So I stand up to their anti loving 
And go over and sit with her 
Put my arm around what we never were 
And tell her it’s okay
She tells me to go away 
But I stay 
And I feel it fall into the abyss 
And the dart shoots but it miss 
Her beautiful self 
I died so you could have someone else 
By your side when the times get rough 
Isn’t Jesus all about love
And psychosis may be a diagnosis 
But I ghosted that doctor who was too precocious 
For his own wealth 
And he can’t categorise my mental health 
In a trail of ink 
And the man threw the sink 
Out of its cage 
And I rage 
As we’re baking bread 
I would stay just to free you from your head
And you write in your diary 
But its a new earth and I’m firey 
But I won’t burn down 
Not while there’s still people in this town 
Got to get them out 
So I let God have my mouth 
To utter the Word 
I let it be and let it be heard

The Angel That Kissed Me

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I don’t know what it is but something needs o be done
Because there are people dying young
From a disease that no one can see
They say it’s mental illness but I don’t think we 
Are defunct in any sort of way
We are just sensitive to the play
Of light and form on the screen of life
And people tick boxes like a job and wife
And a car and a two point five
Like those things mean you are alive
Is it any wonder that there are those who want to die
Who hide the way they cry 
From everyone so no one can see
And that once was the girl I call me 
But something woke me up
And now I want to share that love 
With anyone who has faded to grey 
And finds the flatness worse than anything words could say 
And is it adult to falter on the brink 
Of the things we dare not think 
To be confused and afraid to even breathe
In case someone doesn’t get what they need 
From what we hold out in our hands 
And in the past people wanted lands
Now they colonise our minds 
And taunt us with what’s been left behind 
But the eternal moment of Now
Has become enough for me somehow
And I try to explain to a priest
The meaning of the deceased 
But he doesn’t get it 
So I say; “forget it”
And let the river pull me away
From everything they say 
To the winter in me 
It kind of feels like being set free
To feel the wind in my hair 
And know that I am there 
In the subterfuge and release 
I wonder do they notice the crease
In my dress but I let it be seen 
And look up from the dream 
As I fall into reality 
I feel the Universe forgiving me

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The Bullet In My Body

.Reading time 2 minutes.
There is a bullet in my body, some kind of shrapnel 
I got from the war I fought
With a boy who can’t be bought
Not with trinkets polished to gold
Not with promises of growing old 
Only the truth raises his eyes
And lets him see with no disguise
As he looks into me 
Letting part of it go free
As it struggles to get loose
What is the point that you prove
When you seek to impress
Me so you can see me undress 
In your mind 
And I ask what’s left behind 
In the water that we find 
Somewhere on the shore 
And I visit Loch Lomond and adore
The wilderness of mountains frame
When the English played their games
With the lives of their so called subjects
But I reject
Their colonial expanse
That would have killed the dance
Every human heart is party to 
And I see that freedom in you 
As you fight with me 
And you don’t know that your integrity
Is my favourite thing about ya
Did you think I doubt ya 
When you say that no means no 
And I love you but I let it go 
And trust that fate will bring us together
In this sea of highland weather 
The Celt in my bones
Won’t leave it alone 
And I just call you “one more time” 
Would it be a crime 
If I crossed your girlfriends line 
That has been drawn in the sand
And I cannot love someone else’s man 
Though I do
My soul will ever call to you 
Across the ocean between us
I think God might dream us 
When we conceive of a future we own
And do you lose if the game has been thrown? 

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Is There A Girl Code?

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Is there a girl code
Because I let him into my abode
And now he won’t get the fuck out 
Even when I told him what I’m about
And that I didn’t know about you 
When I let him do what he wanted to do
As I felt the pulling thunder
In the sheets I was lying under
And I turned to meet his face
Now all I see is the disgrace
Of knowing that he was with you
The whole four years I wanted to 
Let him be
And our history 
Is tainted and blue 
And I guess it’s nothing new 
To say that men will connive 
Every minute they’re alive
But I’m bitter now
And jaded and somehow 
Only see the dark side of the grain 
As the sky pours with rain 
Down unto the glen
And amen
Is the end to every prayer
Was he ever even there 
When he whispered those words to me
Like a future planning history 
As we interlock our fingers
Now I just jump at phone ringers
Coz I don’t know what the news will be 
And tragedy
Always seem to come down the line
And you said that he was fine
But I wonder do you know him at all
Because I spent an age staring at his wall
To divinate 
And I wouldn’t want a man of mine in that state
So I offer him an olive branch or two
But he snaps back that he’s with you
So I let it fall into the flood
And hope that the result will be good
But it’s a burden
And I wonder if you heard him
When he cried on his own 
The boy I love on the golden throne 

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The Pain And The Peace

.Reading time 3 minutes.
There is pain and there is peace
And there is a moment where both cease
To mean anything at all
And I’m staring at a wall
Just tap tapping my pen 
And I feel it all again 
And it is as though the universe rehearse
The plaid shirt poetry in my verse 
As it speaks to me through life
And I always thought I’d be a wife
But that doesn’t seem to be my thing 
I would prefer truth over a ring 
And I can’t condense this immaculate soul 
Into something that is just a role
For there is love and there is joy
But can I tie myself to a boy
Forevermore
And forsake the soul I adore
Or is there a way he can open the expanse
So that both our spirits will dance
Together in unison 
But he just chooses to get his gun
And shoot at cacti in the desert 
I question his poor self worth 
But he doesn’t seem to be inclined to rise
And settles like sand at the bottom of my eyes
And the glass is half empty, never full 
I bathe his wounds with cotton wool 
So it will not inflict too much pain 
But how can a man stand this much rain 
And I know the fields are green so 
There is much that will grow 
And an abundance of fertility 
And for all his virility 
I can’t put my finger on what isn’t gone 
I just know I can’t ignore our song 
As I pull back from the book and gram 
Some metaverse serving someone’s plan 
In the ether 
It’s not me either 
It’s a seed to sow 
I hold on, just so you know 
And though you beg me to let go 
It’s just not in my make up 
So why don’t you just wake up 
And see the sky above your head 
it will keep you from the dread 
That forms moats around your castles 
And I know you want a girl with tassels 
But I don’t think that’s what I am 
I said to him as I hold his hand 
And in confusion iridescent blue 
Meets my own in a new hue 

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The Poet Of The Pyrenees

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I miss David more than I can explain
I look outside and it’s rain
And it was always sun when he was around
Like he gave meaning and life to sound 
And he burst colour into the scene 
As though I was alive within the dream 
And now all is dull and grey
And what is it that people say
Life is what you make it 
And love is deep so don’t forsake it 
But I don’t know how to utter your name
Without making you take the blame 
For all that we could never be
I saw you down on one knee
Proposing to me
But you laugh in my face and the indignity 
Of the moment have me cracking open 
The shell that was the kernel of hoping 
For more than just words on the page
And the silent rage
Pounds against the walls of my castle 
And I wonder is romance worth the hassle 
If it means I must go up against 
Your past and your present tense 
And maybe you’ll never know what it meant 
When you accepted the letter I sent 

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The Power Of This Moment

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***Trigger Warning – Mental Health Content***

There is power in this moment 
And I feel it when I own it
And let the pain go
Like the sky just lets the snow 
From its grasp 
Because no cloud can last 
In a frozen form
And when the days get warm 
All that ice will melt
So it goes with how I felt 
In the midst of the blackest night
But the dawn came and I was alright 
As I pondered suicide
And what it means to be alive
That may have been eons ago
But it leaves its mark on you, you know
And I just want to let anyone know who trudges
That there is a peace that never budges 
And it’s to be found right where you are
You don’t have to journey to a star 
To find your own burning strength 
I used to wonder where it went 
As I hid out between the lines
So that they couldn’t define
Me as mentally ill 
Or someone with a dysfunctional will 
I am forever free 
And just because the night visited me
Doesn’t mean I don’t know the sun
It all collapsed into one 
And I could see that duality
Is only there to bring out the best of me 
When I don’t know who I am 
I close my eyes and trust in God’s plan

Lost Causes And St. Jude

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South Africa’s leading the charge
And we are all floating on a barge
Down the river Thames 
Watching it happen again 
And over one hundred and fifty years ago 
The Irish were starved to death so 
The British could maintain their economy 
The invisible hand and the maize crop they take away from me 
So how do I not feel Palestine 
As though the struggle was mine
Babies screaming in the street
As the winter steals the heat 
And Israel bombs the buildings 
Do they not care for the children 
Who will grow up with war wounds
Or the ones who died too soon
The mothers, fathers, family, friends 
Is this how the world ends
Watching silently from the western front 
As a people bear the brunt 
Of what’s held in the unconscious 
And I don’t know what they want us
To do in the movement in between 
When they convince the dream 
That it is reality
But the lie is not getting the best of me

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The Darkness That Ensued

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The darkness that ensued
And all I could do was brood
Over the way things had come to be
Confinement was the only mystery 
I could bear to hold
So I ran from the fields of gold
To the chains in the city
And it was more self pity
Than it was bravery
I couldn’t face the truth
And the pillars of my youth
Are falling around me 
Now I have no grandfather to ground me
So I just grasp at empty air
Because you are no longer there
To catch me when I fall 
And see me play football
Down at the pitch
Making a switch
With Linda on the field 
But the wind blows and I yield 
To it and let you go 
It was harder than you know
To relax my grasp 
On the part of me that was born to last
And I couldn’t cry tears
Despite the years 
We spent together 
And the weather
Turned suddenly snow
And somehow I just know
That it’s time 
And my crime
Is that I couldn’t bear to face
This aspect of the human race
That we must say goodbye
To the people we love as they die
And I’m hearing voices
The people in Pat’s say it’s just noises
But I sense that I can hear
More than just the ones I hold dear
From the other side
I think they are still alive
In some other realm 
And at the helm
Is a spirit greater than we can understand 
He is not ruled over by man 
But free to birth into the world of form 
And just because my body’s warm 
Doesn’t mean that I’m separate 
From the ones my heart equate
With eternal love
And if I no longer have to look above
But within to find you there 
Would you know that I still care?

It’s Not My Fault

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I watch it fly into the sky
And, you know, everyone cry
But not everyone wakes while they live
It happens when you forgive
That girl who took a lightning strike 
And aimed it at me but, like, 
I turn it into some kind of illumination
And now every tv station
Plays my tune
Like I’m the only one in the room
And I meet someone I would like 
To meet in the dead in the night
Sneaking out into the grass
I didn’t think our love would last
But it’s been fifteen years
And we’ve weathered rain clouds emptied of tears
As they fall on us
And I trust
Him to do just what he craves
But he’s the Superman who saves
Me from the boring grey
He is like a sun ray
That sets all the colours a throb
And I give him what he wants to rob
From me
And dignity
Won’t keep this secret quiet
It’s always been a riot
In that avenue 
And his blue
Offsets my red
Til we’re white light in bed 
Making one with the serene
This is beyond the dream
And they say twin flames reside
In the place where duality hides
Its face from something so pure
He’s what I bank on and I know for sure
That we’ll always be eternal prose
And he might be the one who chose
Me, but on my side
I’m just glad he’s alive
In this incarnation
And my education
Taught me to always say no
But with him I’m like, let’s go
And get on with the show
You claim to make 
But I’ll be no oven to bake
Some buns for the eating 
I gotta be the one you’re keeping 
For forever in a sigh
Our love will never die

The Salvation In Plurality

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I can feel the brimming thunder
In the sky we’re living under
And the people I railed against
Were the ones who were heaven sent
And just wanted to aid and abet
Me in the mission to forget
All that had come to weigh me down
So I walked around the town
Looking at signs
I was trying to diamond mine
Searching for a holy gem
And I did it once, twice, again
And somehow the men
Never hurt me 
The danger seemed to just skirt me
By degrees
Til I fell to my knees
And begged the wonder out thieves
Help to steal away all that I believe
And they were only too happy to comply
And I thought I would die 
Under the weight of their heavy handed slap
I crumpled up the map
And took a picture in the garden of Dean Swift
So looking back would be a gift
But I could only see clarity
Not the mental illness they made of me
Searching for some hidden pain
Well I looked again and again
But I could never find
Evidence that I was out of my mind
For seeing love in every shape and form
And loving bodies while they’re warm
And vital and young and free
Shit, is that guy staring at me
But anyway I’m letting sleeping dogs lie
Let go of the merely getting by
On what I think I know 
My sisters on the branch they bow 
In the aching powder they blow 
Into my face like I’m in the know 
And I’m annexed into a space
Where I only see your face 
Smiling at me 
I was out the door when they set me free

Eternal Clothes

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Marriage and prose
And less travelled roads
Did I find mine
With a stranger who just took a moment of my time
And let me be
He let me go free
When I felt the fear encapsulate
Because he might want to date
Me
And eternity
Is all I know
But I have to let you know
I don’t do boys and girls
I do you are my world 
And you have become
Everything I thought when I was young
As we just talk 
And we just walk
You lift my bag
And I drag
My feet behind me
But do not mind me
I’m just shy
And I’m gonna love you til the day I die
It’s not your choice
But I raise my voice 
To let you know 
That this love won’t let me go
And find another
You’re like a lover 
I never had
And the feeling bad
Does not eclipse
The anticipation of your lips 
On mine
There was a time
I thought we were naught
Til I saw the line you bought 
With the skyline in the air
So I let you know I care
In stuttering vowels
And the wolf of death, he prowls
On the edge of conversation
And education
Can’t save us here
But she just might, my dear
And I do not begrudge 
The way you choose to express your love
And find it reflected 
In the heart you have selected 
To be yours 
And the water pures 
As it pours through the filter
And time will wilt her 
But it will not change 
The way the atoms rearragnge
To form a sphere 
I will always be with you, dear

Keep That Dog From His Door

.Reading time 1 minute.
Please keep that dog from his door
It visited me, now it is no more
As it crushed the carbon and coal
Into the diamond of my soul
Reborn into something new
Now I pray for each one of you
Who may have to face the dark
But in the night don’t forget the spark
That issues from your core
It clicks like a lighter til a furnace roar
Drowns out the blaze
I pray for the people the sun will save 
In the midst of ruin
I think God knows what He’s doing
But that doesn’t stop the doubt from rising
I see the ones who are barely surviving
And those who have crossed 
But everything is not lost
Even when you think it’s done
The human heart is precious, each and every one

To Create A Space To Be

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
To create a space to be
Are we rewriting history
When we say peace is what we want
But men in armoured cars still daunt
As you file past
And the tenuous ceasefire doesn’t last
As they arm their guns 
Equip fathers and sons 
To go to the scene 
And rescue people from the dream
Of hate and hurt
People pushed into the dirt
Of circumstance 
What happened to the heart that used to dance?
Is it all forsaken
And when we waken
Will it be to the sky
I’m still holding the reason why

The Sinking Feeling

.Reading time 1 minute.
I clung to the shore 
I had discovered and what’s more
It was my safe space 
Nothing could touch that place 
Then I was eighteen 
And the darkness invaded the dream
It came in a box on the sea
Moving closer towards me 
Then it opened and the black came out
Coloured by fear and my self doubt
I tried to save the beach
But it was forever out of reach
And there’s no going back now 
I must find a way to swim somehow 
In the ocean that has submerged the land 
I don’t expect anyone to understand
As I explain 
That the sky is pouring rain
And I happen upon a kindly soul
But do I let him into how my waves roll
I think he knows anyway
Though he laughs at what I say
With a bashful grin
And I must admit that I love him
In the moment he listened and heard
The call of that solitary bird 
On the branch
And life is like a cattle ranch
Always hemming you in
But there’s a time to lose and a time to win 
And if you could but grin
I think I could accept what has made me sin 
Against the God I know
But bliss is kissing me in the snow 
When the monumental march
Gives vessels to the ground that parch
In the baking heat
If you’re hearing this get back on your feet!

Buataisí Beaga

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
The fire seems to catch me by the boots 
And throw me upside down 
I catch my breath
And then I drown 
In the ocean of what we are 
Cosmically, a star
Fluttering somewhere on the edge of what we know 
I hold on because letting go
Isn’t an option now 
I see you somehow 
Through the smoke and fog
I throw another log 
On the burning hearth
It keeps me warm when it gets dark 
And you share this strength with me
As we fight, wilfully 
Abandon all life thought to know
About twin flames in the snow 
Finally, to realise 
We both share the same skies

Everest

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Her pain is a mountain
That I can’t scale 
Like many on Everest
I’m born to fail
But I keep coming back
To her heavenly light
Whispers in the morning
You’ll be alright
And we grow up
Dust ourselves off
But we’ve still got 
That persistent cough
That hints at something
Underneath
She lowers a blow
Knocks me off my feet
And I know 
She don’t mean it
But did I 
Dream it
That we once were something true
Until I disappointed you
By being myself 
In a garden of verdant wealth
All to blossom and free
Sorry but, babe, you’re gnawing at me

Midwifery

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
I’ve done the math, like, a thousand times 
And it told me I can’t find it in any of my rhymes 
But it’s still pushes me to let the words go
Some kind of childbirth I’ll never know 
As we go into the throws of labour
Could you do me a favor 
And stop throwing empty words
Against the wall of already been heard
And it’s a tired tale
Told by those who are up for sale 
But I’m not one to barter a trade
Throwing light in the shade 
That protects your skin
Do you think I should let him in?

Checking Out

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
One web in the tapestry of life
They all think I’m gonna be a wife
And bed down in a house
Learn to be as quiet as a mouse
When the sea rages inside 
But it’s not something I’m gonna hide 
Coz the flow is taking me 
Somewhere where I can be free
And learn to live in true surrender
Not the mangled mess that they dismember 
With their words and phrases 
It’s the sky that it raises

Jesus Is Lord

.Reading time 1 minute.
The burning pain encases my soul
And like the waves I roll and roll
Until I crash to the floor
And all I used to adore
In verdant green
Is part of what it means 
To walk in this skin
And part of me’s in love with him
As we age and pale
Giving up what’s not for sale 
To the highest bidder
It’s first come, first served and the weather
Is just one more seasonal spin
Do I let him in
Coz he’s knocking down my door
Hammering ever more and more 
As the years pass 
And I was outclassed
In the long grass
And today I went to Mass
And felt that age old relief
As I stepped back into belief 
As I stare at a man on a cross
Thinking all is not lost
Coz my Saviour died for me 
But He lived and that sets me free
That Truth exists 
And quells the sound in the mists 
That grapple and let me go
This cloud looks like it’s full of snow
Or thundered might
But Jesus loves me and I’m alright

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Grief In Waves

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I miss you and it’s been twenty years
And it’s been quite a few since I cried tears
But I remember standing with you
In the morning dew
Looking out on the fields
With nothing to do
Or seeing you gaze
At my eyeline
As I video recorded
The light that you shine
Now you’re just a photograph
Paper thin
Is there anything more
Than the memory of him
To stand on stilts 
So tall
They say time washes away
Like a waterfall
But I would never want to forget
And I remember you yet
Me, so small and hardy
You the simple net
That would catch me when I trip
I love you still and that is it
Nothing more, nothing less
And I know I don’t need to stress
About the small things
And spirit has wings
To take it to the sky
It’s just I wish you didn’t have to die
I wish I could still hold your hand
Have you say that all is grand
And that you love me so deep
I love you Granda and that’s a promise I’ll keep

The Male Archetype

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His name is Fin and he is flying
He gets my mind off thoughts of dying
As everything is in decay
And I’m always wondering who made it that way
Coz if there’s a good God
Surely he wouldn’t lead with the rod
And I’m biting my nails and looking away
But I’m waiting to see what he’ll say
As the embodiment of Adiyogi
I hope he’ll like me if he knows me
And I’ve got this barrier, this cocaine wall
But it doesn’t help me to stand tall
So I show him where there’s a gap
Give him out a detailed map
So he can find his way to me
And hopefully I’ll someday see
What life is like to hold a hand
To believe in truth and love a man

Rhythm Section, Immaterially

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https://youtu.be/UOS5CP8tzYQ

Cause of death, dying
What do you expect, trying 
And I try to reason
With him but it’s just a season 
In the garden he grows
It’s all flowers and God knows
I try not to be the sky
Reflecting blues in his eyes
As they stare up at the sun
But I think he might be the One
As he moves in a sashay
And he can have me any way
He likes to entertain
And his love is not in vain
As he holds a paper heart
Out and it makes my own start
Beating a rhythm I cannot contain
Would the sky take back the rain
It had cried in tears
If it meant it could erase the years
That have gone in between
The midnight of someone else’s dream
In a come what may
What is it that the people say
That there is a wilderness beyond the hedge
And you are more than the pond you dredge
To bring up gold
And that story’s never told
If you’re looking for a quick line
In the bathroom for the thousandth time

The Sky Pouring Ocean

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Why do I feel the ultimate pain
When the girl is making it rain
And it comes down in a sea of screams
Waking people from their dreams 
And could it be grace that I
Was willing to die
For what I believe 
It’s an ocean that I leave
Behind when I set out on my way
And you can’t trust what people say
You watch what they do
And I am staring at you
For an eon forever
As if you could be a hopeful endeavor

Starfish

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Are we just starfish
Learning how to shine
Do I speak up
About what isn’t fine
As the layers in the cake
Are slowly spread
And people on the sidelines
Are left for dead
As we just
Get on with our lives
And the bare minimum
Of trust survives
The onset of
A foreign occupation
Am I getting
Far above my station
To say I stand
With the power of peace
A moment when
The war might cease
And they could come
For my neck
Or I could lose it all
In a train wreck
As I try to mean
Something true
Is it just me
Or is it me and you

Snare Drum

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Hit that snare drum
And I try to do the sum
That will add up to the whole of my life
Am I just a house and a wife
To some man I don't yet know 
Or is there a reason that I just go
To the farthest corners of the earth
To find a way out of the hurt
The distant hum of the fan 
I want to stop it if I can
So I meditate and it doesn't work
I run and I just sweat my shirt 
And I listen to Eckhart Tolle
It switches into something whole
And cascades like the perfect song
Beating the movement where you went wrong 
And I'm listening to my own misery biz 
I used to be the shizz
Now I'm just old and normal 
Saw you in a suit so formal
Looking like you pay the rent
I wonder where the vagabond went
That crashed into my life like a storm 
And he's the fire that keeps the heat warm 
I wish you could know
That I would never let you go 
Only let the line go slack
And wait until you call me back 
And you always do 
I walk another's shoe
Til the soles are worn and dry
I dunno I had to try
And be the one to satisfy 
The longing that reaches out
It quenches thirst to match my doubt
Like that castle in the sky
I meet in dreams that die
Into a morning that just breaks 
And the girl, like the ocean, wakes

Where To Start

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The door swings shut
On another adjacent dream 
I run like wildfire 
Or an untethered seam
That's freed from it's hold
And the scene is gold
As everything magnifies
Exactly what never dies
And I feel a heartbeat in my chest
Just thump thump and forget the rest

Oceanic Life

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Oceanic life, I can feel the drown
Rising up when I’m outta town
It’s like a vast submerge
Has me on the verge
Of saying exactly what I mean 
And punching a hole in the dream
That I built so carefully
And I’m sure they don’t see
But the forces of unconsciousness move to contain
What they suspect might be rain
And I’m coming down in a deluge 
And it’s like my heart is the centrifuge 
Of the whole storm 
And I’m both cold and warm
As the fronts meet each other
And somehow I found a brother
Who connected on the level I chose
Coz all of them are lined up in little rows 
And I draw outside the lines
I replay it a thousand times

The Cult Of Country

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Is your country just a concept
Something you play with
Have you grown up 
Or are you still being a d***
Coz I cannot stand in silence
As the pillars burn 
Wait for someone else
To steady the axis turn
And storms are breaking out
Like they said they would
I read between the lines
Of a Book that is Good
But you seek to condemn 
What is merely knowing 
I look out the window
It’s April and it’s snowing
As the ice melts
And the Gulf Stream redirects 
I listen to Greta
And I wonder what’s next
In this reverberate 
That is slowly brewing
The people in charge
Don’t know what they’re doing
Or maybe they do 
(In that case it’s worse)
You order a Starbucks 
But I sense a hearse 
Somewhere on the horizon 
For the human race 
There’s no telling the atrocities 
That maybe we will face 
If something doesn’t change 
On the political scene 
I woke up from my nightmare
And it was just a dream

Singing In My Summer Clothes

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Singing in my summer clothes
Have one on me, one for the road
And it’s long but it leads back to You
The only path, the one that is true 
And I fight with the storm in my veins
Countenance curious pains 
That attempt to distract 
From the fact I want him back
But he’s sold to some other source 
And I have no remorse
About speaking my mind
I didn’t leave you behind 
Just on hold 
To be brave and to be bold
Enough to truly say
I didn’t want you to go away
But doubted my ability, okay
There’s nothing I can make stay 
Coz it’s all built on sand that’s shifting 
Tell me who I should be gifting
With a midnight purpose scene
I thought You and I was just a dream

All The Burning Embers

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All of the burning embers
No one really remembers
Who you used to be
It’s like the fountain that you see
In the ocean that grows within
They’re obsessed with the notion of sin
And I’ve outgrown the domain 
That only seems to inflict pain 
On the monster that abides
The one your revolution hides
Beneath the snow of an avalanche 
Were you released in the first tranche
Of saviours to keep the day
Working in its own way
And the sudden scar
Is a wildebeest to your open heart
The one you wear on your sleeve 
Do you expect me to just believe 
In the brand you sell
I’m in the jungle but I wish you well

Somewhere In The Multiverse

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Is everyone trying to escape
That vast, empty space
And I hold her at a distance
Arms length, or resistance
Coz she can't know
How I let you go
And the awning abyss
Is the only man I kiss
In the winter of my life
When I'm trying to survive the strife
Under the cover building turf
Could you tell me which is worse
Indifference or indecision
And I know you were subject of derision
But I shared 
In every vessel that cared
How the ship would float
And that boat 
Still sails a sea
Somewhere in the multiverse with me

The Monument

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Fighting the monument to the era gone by
I dunno, I just had to try
But throwing stones at the wall
Is not the way to get over it all
And they had me medicated to the hilt
I couldn't stop crying til the flower wilt
And the flow of the years pass through
As I stare through the window at you
Hoping you might turn your head
But I better watch my mouth or I'll end up dead
Coz there's traps for every sound
And they're scattered all around
In the avenues that people walk 
And the professionals are all talk
Coz it's a road less traveled by
And it's a witch hunt if you claim to fly
When you are an earth bound creature
But I thought this deserved a feature 
In the newspaper of us
It's crumpled like our broken trust

Lost

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Th ship is adrift on the ocean
Am I cliché if I claim emotion
Had me run ragged round the sea 
And I just long to see you with me 
Arms intertwined 
Diamonds mined 
Like solid gold bands 
On the ring fingers of both our hands 
But you broke the circle 
That held us as one 
Now I’m the daughter
And you are the son
Of the God who saves 
And I stared at the empty seat for days 
And gaslit myself 
Like San Diego
Never thought that you would play me though 
As you took your book and ran 
And I don’t think I can 
Let you in again
I think I’ll go search other men 
For that spark of soul in self 
I saw you with somebody else

From Afar

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The sound of him
Is everything win
In no forest I can grasp
And maybe I should’ve 
But I didn’t ask
Now you have her
And as far as I can tell
Everything is going really well
But I can’t watch you for an eon
Or an era
So I ditched the scales
I used to sear ya
To forbode
You’re carrying a heavy load
And relief
Should be yours
So instead of shutting doors
I’ll leave this one ajar
And love you long time, from afar

If You’re Logged In

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https://pin.it/A4DBbr5
If you’re logged in 
I hope you see
The monument
You are to me
And I’m looking up
You’re looking down
And babe we could run this town
If it was a two by two
I’m getting a home ready for you
As I make the tea
And we find our way when we can’t see
And maybe it is wrong
To covet the fold 
But the path you walk
Is solid gold 
As arms wrap around 
Did you hear the sound
Of our silence dear
Isn’t the water pretty clear
When it’s still in a pond
And, no, I amn’t gone
Just waiting in the wings
And my heart it sings
For you, my love
You set the fire, I’ll free the dove

Coastline

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Find your way back to me
Make future history 
And stories we can tell the grandchildren 
That gather round the hearth
And what you save for me in the dark
And you can tell her she’s welcome too
Or I am with her and you
It’s just I can’t write this off
And it’s not a sunk cost
But something I’d invest in
Even if it didn’t win
And there have been trees in the forest of me
Falling onto pine needle dignity
As they hold me against my will
And all of my senselessness spill
Into hilarity
I’m laughing at the thought of you and me 
On my bed in a chasm
And I love that she still has him
Coz they look so perfect together
And d’ya know it’s lovely weather
For a sky to break
And I’m counting every breath I take
Coz they’re numbered 
And have you ever wondered
Just what’s fueling your love affair
Don’t you feel me there
In lashes and guilt and opening doors
Are men too quick to call women whores 
For being connected to another dimension 
And this is just a logical extension
Of the need to be
Quintessentially free
Did I learn from my degree
That she
In effervescent tones
Sparkles when you’re all alone 
And diamonds can’t buy what’s given
Some people survive and call it living
And I gotta say
I can’t save this for another day
But anyway
Hit me up, if that’s okay?

Love And Oceans Apart

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Photo by Rodolfo Quiru00f3s on Pexels.com
We are love and oceans apart
But that is nothing when it comes to the heart
As I struggle to get by as we 
File it away like destiny
Knows nothing about the something we are
I see you reflected in the great star
That shines down on us from its place on high
I don't know why but I'm not afraid to die
Yet I see these children suffer in pain
And I want to run rings around the world again
Clean up every mess and lift every smile
Make sure no man walks the green mile
Coz we're peace at our core, we're peace in our soul
And it's gotta be together if we wanna make it whole
And they say zero hunger by 2030
But I think we can speed it up coz it's worth it
And there are so many lives to touch
I look in their faces and I love them so much 
Enough to put myself on the line
Say there's a wasting and there isn't time
Enough to just kick the can
Further on down the road like a real hard man
I gotta be stellar in my interpretation
Make sure all these girls get an education
So they can rise and be equal to
Anything anyone else can do
And there's mass emigration and there's starving to death
I don't think that I could ever forget 
The faces that I see on a tv screen
There's no use in saying it's only a dream
Coz what could consciousness do but respond
Now's not the time to kick back and abscond
And I keep worrying about how I look
And if I'll be killed if I don't do it by the book
But I gotta be honest and I gotta be real
There's a mountain of trouble we all have to heal 
And if we can then maybe we'll feel
Something akin to cutting a deal

Writing My Storm

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Photo by Johannes Plenio on Pexels.com
Writing my storm
Well, at least I'm warm
Coz the thunder rumbles 
And the lightning cracks ground 
And I can feel the heat surround 
As the cold front meets it match
An opposite in a roof of thatch
As it sets fire to what it knows
And it's, you know, anything goes
And I've destroyed everything I once had
I speak my mind and I feel bad 
But at least I'm living 
Is it time for more forgiving 
Of the grudge match I keep with her
Coz I'm mad at what we were 
As she'd take a little pick
And chip away at me, so to speak 
Carving out a Michelangelo
From all the places I will not go 
Til suddenly the dial it spins 
And she's cast from my withins
In a door slamming shut on time
I can't acquit you for this crime
Coz if I did you'd do it again
And I don't know if I can call you friend
As you take what you used to know
And sacrifice it on the go
On an altar you worship days 
And I'm confused in so many ways
Coz I thought we were cool but I resolve
Not to be a problem to solve
But the answer I've always craved
I guess it's Heaven and the unsaved

Makeshift Home

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Do you live in a makeshift home
A cardboard box you live in alone
And are there decorations on the wall
Or do you bother with all that at all
Coz I've watched lives burned down to dust
Watched the vagaries and the absent trust
As everything turned out naught
Like you're a fisherman and your net was caught

But I've also seen sunrise break up the day
Tell the night that it will be okay
And the fading of twilight come the dawn
Is like Easter when the winter is gone
And I've lived both sides of the conunderum
I been so sure that I left them wondering 
If it's just a delusion I've held onto
But the truth is fire and it's burning you

And there are eaves that run with the power of rain
A summer solstice I wouldn't do again
To feel the pummeling water down 
Like my feet are puddles in the air that drown
Out the noise of unimpeded consequence
People will tell you that you're due for rent
When all you've done is breathe in the air
And enjoy the facilities that are left there

So, what is the future likely to be
Will we bury the ocean under the sea
Will we poison the atmosphere and heat the air
Til the people in Africa know we don't care
Coz their land is arid and often dry
The rivers run cold and the children cry
Out for a piece of food to eat
While we make war under our own feet

And will I just be a paragon in the future looking back
I'm not setting myself up to be a life hack
I wanna make a difference and I'll make it now
If the Universe conspires with me somehow
To release the pain like I'm lancing a boil
So the robots do the work and the people toil 
In sweatshops in Asia and all of our shoes
Coz less than the amount we use to pay our dues

The Unearthly Calm

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Photo by Ben Mack on Pexels.com
I see the faraway shore
Beckoning me to something more
And I understand 
That nothing good can be planned
As we grow up 
Like a tree
It's not up and over
But organically
And there's enough food
To feed each child
Enough land 
To let the animals roam wild
And did we build this monstrosity
That is growling in my face
I have to speak up 
For the human race
Coz we're going down
And if we don't shift
The present moment 
Won't be a gift
But an encumbrance
That we bear
I feel the fabric
Start to tear
As the seam
Is pulled to the edge
Don't let the money
Go to your head
As you earn and as we burn
The stifling and the axis turn
That leads us down a narrow path
Makes me wonder what we might be at
To poach the seas til they run dry
To pour the concrete til the soil die
And I've got this hefty weight to carry
Will I bear children and marry
But all I hear are the cries of the damned
And all the innocents no one understands
So if I've a prayer
It's help me, God
Live with Love 
And not the rod
That snaps down on a soft palm
They say that there's an unearthly calm
Before the tidal wave
So take the noise as a sign to save
While we still have time
What is your path
Coz I know mine

The World Must Turn

.Reading time 1 minute.
The night came down on my like an evening
There was a day when I stopped believing
In all that I'd been taught to know 
Coz it don't explain the way that you go
And I stand there looking 
But it's to no avail
And there is a moment 
When all words fail 
And all that's left
Is the tears
And I cry them 
For years and years 
With no break in the monsoon
And when I'm alone in my room
I can express what you mean to me 
And how we have our date with destiny
I held on tight
But nothing can extinguish the light
Once it has started to burn 
I finally realise why the world must turn

50 Year Stand

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We could have a fifty year stand
And I could live with holding your hand 
But I could never be bound to profess
That I’m anything more than this minidress
And what I’m meaning to confess
Is that I reach for you in my distress
But I don’t see forever in your eyes
Because, you know, everybody dies
And I lost him at seventeen
When I wasn’t even in the dream
Just walking back from lunch
Ignoring that petty hunch
That had you sidelines and sideways
I don’t care what anybody says
Anymore coz they’re all liars
And I’ve set one too many fires
Under who I’m meant to be
I’ve grown up but still don’t see
And the diagrams all refract
The way you can’t get people back
Once you’ve lost your hold on them 
If I could would I live it again?
Just to feel the same old pain
If you walk on grass do you curse the rain
That made it green and fresh
It’s been years but I don’t forget

Central Park

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Is it too long left unspoken
I say, man, I’m only joking
But I’m serious as death can be
I loved you so I set you free
But I spend every moment wishing you were here 
I love you so much, my dear 
And I every time I fail to catch
I leave the door on the latch
Just in case you’ll walk in
And I make up stories of me and him
To keep me warm in the grey dark
And I just walked around Central Park
Wondering what was there to give
If there’s a life I can let live
But somehow moments in the stunning
And I’m just running, running
Away from this pain that caved inside
Is there a reason why I hide
From all I thought I knew
It all revolves around you

Ending My Enmity

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
I’m ending the fight I have with the stars
Running through fields like I’m chasing cars 
And the sound of you is on the breeze
Like a younger me the tree frees
As I’m walking through the columns and rows
Letting go of the loss of anything goes
And finding my steadfast in the sight
Of everything in the firelight

Destiny

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
I've got a destiny
I can feel it in my bones
And it has something to do 
With saving people's homes
With finding a diagram
That will fit the screen
I have to make reality
Out of the thing I dream 
And the stories I tell 
Myself quietly at night
There has to be a way
To make the world alright
To cause and effect
And point out the tune
And I am not alone
When I'm sitting in my room
When I'm sitting by myself
To ponder life as real 
There has to be more
Than the way we cut the deal

This Winter

.Reading time less than 1 minute.

The feeling of panic

Knarls in my stomach

Maybe this is too much to be

Maybe there’s so much yet to see

But the aching roars

And the spirit soars

To become an avalanche

Of my own making

And I count every one

Of the breaths I’m taking

In case I misplace one

Amidst the snow

The winter has gone on

For so long, you know

Small Wonder

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There are some things you cannot deny
Like a love that will never die
Like honesty and what is right within
You cracked my exoskeleton
Thin into a little strands
That broke apart into your hands
And smiling as you realised
You held it all in the tears you cried
That could never be wrong or crossing the line
I think you and I will be just fine
As we make a bloodless, solemn pact
That we will always come back
To this place we share and each other
I love you, darling, my soul brother
As we’re held together by more than thread
You show your fragility instead
Of the angry exterior wall
Of strength and impressions fall
As I realise that you are him
I’ll never have to look again

LightSaber

.Reading time less than 1 minute.

There’s a sadness in our laughter
And I can’t make the smile crack my eyes
There’s a pain underneath the surface
And it all feels like lies
Like the truth we cannot grasp
And I want to walk away
But we are now so seldom
Something makes me stay
And all of your excitement
Seems in direct contravention
To the lives that we have lived
And the things we do not mention
But, in truth, I do not blame you
That you kicked off from the shore
It just hurt to know
You don’t love me anymore