The Floorboard Creaks

I kept quiet 
As my head became a riot
Because I had promised you
Secrecy as you poured your truth into
My listening ear
But then you evince a glistening tear
As I’m shattered and grey
Because my grandmother has gone away
And I stand just washing the dishes
Thinking of our hugs and kisses
And the whole window pane
Breaks upon me like rain
And school was my escape in a way
But it became the place where people say
Bad things about me
Look away from my eyes and doubt me
And even Doireann doesn’t know what to do
When I’m in Room One fighting with you
I was trying to prove a point
But it just knocked your nose out of joint
And I realise I can’t win this war
So I abandon what it is for
And leave you to that shore
Of not knowing me anymore
And you say it was the biggest mistake
You ever made but when you wake
Do you realise what you did to me
When I had lost all I thought I could be
And lie in the gutter
Going over the words I heard you utter
Under your breath
And my biggest regret
Is that I ever gave you the time of day
Because I sensed you were not okay
And needed a friend to talk to
Now I just lose the weight of you
In the mist and in the crossfire
And when the straits became dire
A light shone from a higher
Window
It was Him though
The only words I had for the Absolute
Was the Jesus that had taken root
Like a tree in my soul
And your eyes may roll
At my steady devotion
But I show no emotion
And lock it down
Because you are not allowed in this town
Not now, not anymore
They say INFJ’s slam the door
But it was more than that
It was just the realisation that if she’s coming back
It’s going to be as a changed human
Because I am not ok with what you’re doing
To the people within your reach
And it’s not a lesson I am here to teach
It’s just that I have to go
And by the time you know
I will be in Timbuktu
Living a life far away from you
And it’s not that I don’t still care
It’s just I won’t let you dare
To cross that line one more time
I’ve no mind to become the scene of a crime
And pulverise
Underneath the heaviness of lies
That you tell like a scéal
About me, well you can keep that tale
And anyone who will entertain
What I sought to put through in vain
It just became the rain
But I am unwritten so you can’t keep my name
In your book of words
I left the ground like one of the birds
To take flight into air
If I’m gone maybe you’ll know I was there

Deviations From The Norm

There wouldn’t be this if there hadn’t been you

Taylor Swift
There are deviations from the norm
And some people said it was just bad form
As she excommunicated me from the religion I love
Because I fit around that hand like a glove
And she told me I was too perfect and pristine
And it became a nightmare before I woke from the dream
And found out what God really mean
But I still bear the scar
From the mark made by what you are
And I know you’re deeper and true
And it’s just that the losing of you
Did more for me than having you could do
And I became spacious as the sky is blue
As open and wide and as far as the eye can see
When I lost the will to live out my destiny
And fought to find a spark in the dark of night
And no one thought to ask if I was alright
Because I was the villain
In your own personal film
About how you were the victim of fate
And people love someone to hate
And they gathered around my ghost
And I watched her lose what she loved the most
In this melee
And now I’m free
Of all that gathers at the hem
And you would do it to me again
If I gave you the chance
So I took away the music that used to make you dance
To the sound of us
Do you hear the quiet of broken trust
And I lean on the two of the old brigade
I close my eyes and pour it into Ciara and Sinéad
Because I know they have my back
And just because I feel that I lack
What I was before
Doesn’t mean there isn’t something to adore
In the statue I’ve become
There’s wisdom in the age you lose when you are young
And I wish you the best of all that there is
Because the rest of what I am is His
In the sudden sun that dawned upon the glen
And I close my eyes and whisper Amen
To every prayer I’ve ever uttered
I open my eyes like windows I had shuttered

Commonplace Understandings

I don’t know what we were
But I know I don’t wanna fight with her
But I feel her get my back up
When I offer her love
And she slaps my hand
Like the hourglass isn’t pouring sand
And all of us into the ocean
Why are you afraid to show emotion
Is it just me
Or is it the dragon that was set free
Two decades ago
And somewhere amidst the snow
The annals of us are preserved
I try to keep my cool but I am unnerved
By the sheer lack of the sea
In the meadows that lap against me
And I can’t make it better and I can’t mend
What she never broke but doesn’t intend
To rectify
There is a part of us that can never die
And a part that does day by day
I wonder why she is that way
And the reason seems clear
But she doesn’t know how I hold her dear
And is it my lot to be unknown
And only have my true colours shown
When a stranger just walks into my days
And tells me I’m free in so many ways
And he thinks I hate him, I can hear him sigh
But the mists move the mountains and I cry
Out with the fear of it
But he’s alcohol and I take a sip
And find myself head of heels
Like I’m lost on instagram reels
Just trying to find my source
I am not a child of divorce
But I know the fracture when the world splits
Or the chasm that opens when death hits
You hard in the gut
And someone you love things you’re in a rut
But I would never leave the flowerbed
Above the grave that marks your head
So I’ll just let you know
That I was not born to let go

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The Oppressive Class

The oppressive class
Think that their power will always last
And they’re always doing it for a reason
Til their punishment is open season
And the subordinates get even
With people they don’t want to be believing
And you could say that kindness kills
And good intentions and foreign wills
Mask the wound as the blood spills
Out onto my shirt
It may have hurt
When they struck me down
But I’m not giving up on this down
And it is for my own health
They say they must steal my wealth
From me
But there is something that will always be free
In the green, green grass of home
There is something that you have never known
As you paint a beach of waifs
But I am not trying to escape
The cup that’s been handed to me
I’m just trying to reflect the free
In the prism that casts it’s hues
And he people who pay their dues
In the mindfulness class
It is not part of the past
But of the Now
And I know you will realise somehow
What I’ve been trying to express
In my state of undress
As I spell it out in monotones
What I couldn’t hide from iPhones
As they responded to my touch
And scared away what I loved so much
Into the fold of open season
Have you ever loved someone without reason?

Silence and Virtue

Does it matter what I say when I mean nothing to you
And is it all just for attention when I do what I do
So should I just be silent and keep my heart in check
Because when you left I found myself a wreck
And had to rebuild what you had destroyed
And understand the methods that you had employed
To do such damage to an even keel
There was an ocean that was too much to feel
But I tried and I learned to right myself once more
Although there is no way that I can put back that floor
That once held me up, so solid and so true
And decimation now is what I am to you
As I fall into the darkness, into the endless of the stars
I find that the universe has no prison bars
And everything is for my growth, everything is for my healing
And there is nothing inside that you can go stealing
So I find that in truth my love will never die
Because it does not reside in you, it resides in I
And it is ever pure and celestially soul
I find that in this moment I am incandescent whole

All of Me

There’s a void no ocean can quell
There’s an emptiness nothing can quiet
There’s a silence deep in the darkness
And I just want to try it
Because all of the nights of these days
Comes down to the end of the line
And when it comes to the edge of the road
I just am not fine
Because it all just is a facade
All just an elaborate ruse
All just a dance done out into space
Because I’ve something to prove
So don’t tell me to keep my voice down
Just because it isn’t PC
You must take the good along with the bad
You promised to have all of me

Alchemical

a902a1cc16784338171510884bff2525We’re alchemical
I don’t do a thing my honey babe
It isn’t a conscious choice
To give you all I have when I hear your voice
We’re alchemical

You say that I am changing you
You say I do the deed
You say that I am fixing up
All the ways you bleed
With my light
You don’t see it on the other side
The healing of my scars
The dark encroaches on my soul
And heals my broken parts

I can’t tell it’s you
I barely know it’s me
I just know that you are
Ying-yang of destiny

We’re a fusion most complete
Alchemy most profound
You think that we are separate
Together we are round
And one

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