The forest child in me Is longing for the rivers to let her go free As I take refuge on the beach That someone thought to teach Me was there And I’m so grateful and I care About what will happen to this next generation Will it be beyond an education As I meditate And something puts me in another state Where I can fly And I am not afraid to die Into incandescent blue Just because you Clutch onto fear Doesn’t meant that love is not near Ready to abide And something in me hide Away this secret deathless realm From the people who would submerge the helm Like the girl with the degree In deciding what to do with me When I confess That everything in that red dress Always felt the same And she knows my name But she doesn’t get my soul If I told her each wave roll Would she understand And I decide to forgive my man
I’m not going making an enemy out of you Not even if the whole world wants me to And you’ve got the force of the women’s cause And I’m on a stereo hitting pause Because I can’t cope with what I see That you had her as well as me And I know it’s lame and it’s a whole joke And I can’t get by on what I wrote But I see you sometimes in the air And feel the space where you’re not there And everything’s like an answered prayer And you’re the angel by which I’d swear But the mountains roll down to the sea And I am nothing if not free Of everything you got to be I don’t know if you were looking for eternity But it was forever on the grass Just the kind that doesn’t last And you were the rain that lashed And all the diagrams that smashed But somehow you made a different choice And I decided to hide my voice In the realms of empty pages I’ve written odes to the ages Up against an empty wall And I was running down the hall Just to catch the trail of you Til I realized you don’t want me to So I just stop and stand still Feel the force of all that will Strive to keep heaven away But it’s one shore I can’t hold at bay And the march of time just goes on Will there be a day when we’re both gone Or does something just endure I call it the wave of pure Consciousness that just abides There are oceans that survive The still and empty way you move And if love is just a point we prove Then there’s nothing left to lose I don’t have a choice but it’s you I choose
There’s darker than that in the shadows And the girl rebelled on All Hallow’s Eve and there were claps of thunder I saw them taking my number So I ran and ran Now no one can Reach me And no matter what they teach me I cannot unsee the truth That perforated the wisdom of my youth They try to placate Say; find a perfect date Find a man you can settle down with Though it might be hard coz you’re such a bitch But I don’t care anyway I just sway With the leaves in the trees As everyone believes that down on your knees Is the way to free But it just isn’t me And the man is beautiful, the man is real But he just closes down how I feel And say’s to me on the phone Goodbye, Laura, now I’m alone As the bombs go off And I pay the cost For the rattling rain That hammers my doorstep again And again and again I can’t reasonably blame the weather on men But then I do I just blame you For casting me out For casting aspersions and self doubt On who I am And if I’ve any choice as to who I can Love, it will never be you Even if your baby blue Is enticing My soul is advicing Me to depart I do it all with solemn heart
I found beauty in the trauma And the flora and fauna Were hidden from me In the dark forest of history And she enclosed me with a snare It was almost as if I wasn’t there When she sent the splinter into my side Did she really not want me to be alive Because she did her best to trump the card Did she realise she made things so very hard And I was just a teen But I wanted to exit the dream By any ways and means And I’m sewing a dress but the seams Keep busting and they won’t fit And there are no boys I want to hit On anymore The dark expanse was the door Into a greater purveyance And the conveyance Was suffering and pain Til I opened my arms to the rain And instead of getting wet A sun broke that I cannot forget In my darkest night I became the light Of the only and ever one If you feel you are coming undone Then you are on the right track And somehow I cannot go back To what I was I know this because I have tried And I hide My new found skin With everyone except with him He just touched me paper thin And I realised destiny was a sin I long to make with his touch And I love him so very much Though he may never know I thought he should so I let the bird go And fly across the sea To where he lay in grey mystery Just pondering a solace But it was a volatile Explosion in the moment of us And though it hurt I still trust In the infinity that we are If you burn then let that star Combust in its own atmosphere That’s how you know that God is near
The one good thing about hell Was that Stephen wished me well And could see the light underneath The ghost with the sheet Around her head (You know the one I got from the bed) In the place with no name Because the memory brings shame Upon my family So I’m not allowed to mention it, we Did it, it was a collective decision And I risk their derision If I reveal That I feel Just fine About my time In St. Pat’s mental institution It was some kind of a convolution In my degree Why does life have me down on one knee Proposing to a saint In the colour of blood that I paint As it runs down the frame Of the place that brought me pain
Always and forever in bubblegum pop I will always be something that you are not And strive to reach But something they cannot teach Is that you are what you are And everyone burns like a star Til its collapse into a black hole The light returns to its soul Somewhere in the deep In a universe where you cannot speak Of the secrets they utter And the shutter Flies shut on the window As I see her with him, though And drop out of the sky Because some people want to die When they see their lover With another But all I feel is gratitude That she holds the heart of that dude And keeps him warm Because every storm Crashes upon my shore And everything means something more Than it’s first inception And your deflection Does nothing to dim The weight of worlds I am to him I see it in his eyes And that never dies Once it is born So forlorn Though so replete The lady washed the man’s feet With her hair I know because I was there
I sit and wait for what wants to come through But it only ever speaks of you And what we are Some far distant star Shines on us both And the coach We took to the sea Set the both of us free You can trust me I will be here Always, for you, dear Though you may not see me in the leaves You don’t need to believe Just trust and open to what is And I know that she is his But I welcome her care and her devotion I can feel it in his emotion As he speaks to me And eternity Is on his breath But, still, he does not forget Because almost never crossed the line And we are us for all of time In every winter that the trees shake I will be there and when you wake You will see my subtle stance I’ll love you always in this dance
One web in the tapestry of life They all think I’m gonna be a wife And bed down in a house Learn to be as quiet as a mouse When the sea rages inside But it’s not something I’m gonna hide Coz the flow is taking me Somewhere where I can be free And learn to live in true surrender Not the mangled mess that they dismember With their words and phrases It’s the sky that it raises
Cause of death, dying What do you expect, trying And I try to reason With him but it’s just a season In the garden he grows It’s all flowers and God knows I try not to be the sky Reflecting blues in his eyes As they stare up at the sun But I think he might be the One As he moves in a sashay And he can have me any way He likes to entertain And his love is not in vain As he holds a paper heart Out and it makes my own start Beating a rhythm I cannot contain Would the sky take back the rain It had cried in tears If it meant it could erase the years That have gone in between The midnight of someone else’s dream In a come what may What is it that the people say That there is a wilderness beyond the hedge And you are more than the pond you dredge To bring up gold And that story’s never told If you’re looking for a quick line In the bathroom for the thousandth time
Oh, the weather brought in Stephen And I was weary with all of the leaving Behind that I had done Searching for the only one And they say that awakening can land You in a state where you’re under command And out of the control you think you know There’s nowhere it leads that I will not go And I found myself in a psych clinic I kept trying to explain why I shouldn’t be in it But they brush past my honesty like it was lies Pinned up a frame over my eyes To tell me who they think I am But I constantly fall outside the plan And the time flowed past me like sand Rough and brittle with the misunderstand Til I met a common heart And he made my pain look like art With his smile and his self conscious laugh I was doing yoga when I stretched my calf And I wanted to explain just what was in my mind Flexible around the river bend And why do I stand for this shit Oh, the ocean I flow with Had me by decree Down on one knee Proposing a new direction Standing outside natural selection Into a reverberate that would sound The corridors I walked around In monuments to my fear But there was always someone near And I was shaking with the times Am I stepping on land mines Or is everywhere I place my tread Safely like they never said And it’s hard to reconcile That place with my secret smile The one that knows no bounds I used to listen for the sounds That would set me free I am okay, but hey, that’s just me!
I find furrows in the wood exploring with you And more often than not it’s just us two Brushing through reeds in Derrymacstuir When I’m in need I know I can call her To listen to my ramblings for a little while She cracks me up and makes me smile And there’s something of longing in her absent stare Like she’s wishing for something in particular to be there And I try to hold up, to carry the fort In the years in between as we man the fort Over the garden that’s grown between us There’s something of magic, there’s something of trust And I know I can rely on her steady heart In the years and seasons we’ve been apart In the moments when there’s an ocean in between We rip up the map coz it’s just a dream And all of the separation that seems to be Hanging in the air between you and me Is nothing in the magnitude of what’s always been I salute you, honey, coz you are the queen
I look at the big fish
Thinking he's such a dish
But he's only catching flies
In the interval between the birth that dies
And yet I can sense even in him
A light that shines within
And the dark is threatening summer
So I switch off the lights and hear that drummer
That calls to me to speak my mind
Share my soul and my life in kind
And I somehow know that this will come true
Because I have ultimate faith in you
To be and bring all I have to know
I hold on to let go
Of what is not real or true
But the beef with this is that I pay my due
A hundred times over in advance
And everyone is in a sort of trance
I click my fingers and
Lose sight of an hourglass worth of sand
But time is nothing new
Just the force of gravity working on you
As your skin folds down
And slowly sinks into the ground
And you call that the end
I call it another friend
That just shows you that the permanent
Is not held in the thing that went
But in the eternal, immutable soul
I spin the hands on the clock and fold
The door swings shut
On another adjacent dream
I run like wildfire
Or an untethered seam
That's freed from it's hold
And the scene is gold
As everything magnifies
Exactly what never dies
And I feel a heartbeat in my chest
Just thump thump and forget the rest
You sit in silence, you hear the sound
Of doom now that it’s all around
And I swear I’m a first class citizen
So don’t pity them
Those who ask to see you cry
Because they know everyone die
And they’re trying to put off the date
But why let it lie in wait
I stood up in my two boots
And issued a challenge to my roots
And I grow into a tree
Stuck in the same spot, you see
And the vibration gives off waves
Are you the hero who always saves
Like Superman but in his Smallville years
Don’t think I didn’t see the tears
You cried in secret
I made a promise and I keep it
Every day, I said I won’t forget
And you challenge me but I haven’t yet
I was hiding in the bush
When I said there was no rush
And you were in the long grass
When you worked up the nerve to ask
Me out on a date
You call it logistics, I call it fate
Coz what was held between us both
That evening on the coast
Of the shore that we both know
I love him so I let it flow
The stars cross themselves Like a holy prayer And I know it’s the past But you are there And there’s summer in my bones As the rubble topples homes Like the foundation of Hill 16 And loving him was the dream As we both match Our patchwork scars And I’m walking home As you’re chasing cars With bubbles in your chest Don’t you know that I love you best Though you’re sitting with her Does she know what we were And still are I’ve no wish to be on par I just want the truth to shine Let it be known that I call you mine
Sitting in a New York café Wondering whose gonna win the day Is it me or my fear I shake because the doom was near And it pulled me far away from the storm Do you think the sun is warm Or is it just faking it’s heat But I can feel it on my feet As my toes shake sand Out of the knots in my hand Like a well worn tree He left and then never met me And I gotta find God Do you venerate the Lord And is it just another symbol Or can you see out the window To where the grass is green Something in me has always been And will abide I don’t have to hide From the shirking of weight They call it luck, I call it fate
She lies in bed Coz she can’t get up But it ain’t depression It is love And the dearth of a need To move at all What’s wrong, they say But it’s a freefall And there’s open air and space The old guard gone without a trace Coz I sigh This is not goodbye But a hello to a new realm And they are all the same With their witchy ways and locks But he knows how to make the bed rock With his sudden sigh And am I wrong or is he a little shy Around me It confounds me How they could eat up time And rub a ring until it shine Like a new pearl I gave my heart You gave me the world
Hopping the lines she draws in the sand I look at her and love is grand And it’s all a spectrum really I wonder if she’d ever steal me Away into the night Because she made me feel alright As we talk unto the dawn But it’s been ten years that I’m gone And she laughed out loud at stuff I said Like the man next door might want us dead Or how I had the hots for a young Blair And she had the coolest fuckin’ hair But she’s got a partner now And some beautiful children that life allows To have a mother dear And one thing is crystal clear I had a girl crush on you And I dunno, maybe I still do Though it goes against the grain I turn my face up unto the rain Just to feel the feel of it I sign my name and I quit This effortless game She said happy with her name And she deserves everything she has Showed me I don’t have to be one of the lads I can just be the quiet me A warm jumper and the tea
Find your way back to me Make future history And stories we can tell the grandchildren That gather round the hearth And what you save for me in the dark And you can tell her she’s welcome too Or I am with her and you It’s just I can’t write this off And it’s not a sunk cost But something I’d invest in Even if it didn’t win And there have been trees in the forest of me Falling onto pine needle dignity As they hold me against my will And all of my senselessness spill Into hilarity I’m laughing at the thought of you and me On my bed in a chasm And I love that she still has him Coz they look so perfect together And d’ya know it’s lovely weather For a sky to break And I’m counting every breath I take Coz they’re numbered And have you ever wondered Just what’s fueling your love affair Don’t you feel me there In lashes and guilt and opening doors Are men too quick to call women whores For being connected to another dimension And this is just a logical extension Of the need to be Quintessentially free Did I learn from my degree That she In effervescent tones Sparkles when you’re all alone And diamonds can’t buy what’s given Some people survive and call it living And I gotta say I can’t save this for another day But anyway Hit me up, if that’s okay?
I feel myself sinking down into the midnight The absence of perfume, the absence of light The dawn of knowing what you cannot say The reluctant acceptance of what cannot stay And I know in the storm there is a break of day And when you trust in God it’ll all be okay But sometimes the ocean is just too deep And I try to catch a few moments of sleep Before I awaken with a start Like everything good it comes from the heart
I can’t just keep writing poems about you Not when the Real is here And you never seem To reply to me, dear And the sidelines are awash With all the fragrant flames Knocking down the obstacles And taking names And you showed me your true colours Like a multi hued sky And I was not afraid To either live or die But only meet the honest That is shining in your eyes I think I might have seen you Without your best disguise
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I have to stop dancing on the lane Someone might see through the pain To the joy that’s underneath Signified by my light feet
I know as sure as the light of day
That I am for you on my way
As sure as the stars shine from the sky
I was made to meet your eye
The way the sea is for the shore
I’m for you and so much more
As the land comes bursting forth
With craggy hillsides greening dirt
Bequeaths an ancient promise told
Your heart was made for me to hold
Your soul was made for me to shine
Where ruby gemstones intertwine
And lay you down once more again
Rest where you can call me friend
Whereupon the daydream first began
As fingers itched to hold your hand
And I bowed low to see you there
Wind whispered secrets through your hair
And left me open, undecided
Uncertainty has not abided
Life calls me to be beautified
So from you I no longer hide
But sentinel to stand on guard
Watch over you when times get hard
The earth has claimed me for its own
Be still for you, unmoving stone
Though rushing waters crowd the deep
The love between us does not sweep
Could I stand up and be an example for the world
Could I just let my power be unfurled
And could all my secrets be thrown to the wind
As I stand in the light and say that I have sinned
Could I stand for the darkness as well as the light
And say I know you’re sad but it is alright
And say I’ve been there too and walked a fine line
But it isn’t terrible to say that you need time
And however and whensoever you choose to break the seal
I didn’t know it at the time but I think I cut a deal
To be one and one with God and honesty complete
I only seem to be happy when I’m kneeling at His feet
And ever that he asks me is thus to be carried out
I relearn every day just what I am about
And why is it so hard just to let it all fly free
I think this earth is waiting for what I was born to be
The Poetry Book 