Tag: forgiveness

Don’t Lose Your Humanity

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Don’t lose your humanity when you grow up 
Remember you were founded on love 
Like every good city
And there is self pity
And there is blame 
But know the name
That is given to you 
Is not all there is when they ask what is true 
And I put a flower in the shield of the riot policeman 
Because I know that only open hearts can
Remind a solider what he really is 
Not a function of what it means to merely exist 
As a job or as a duty 
There is beauty 
Within every man 
No matter what he can 
Entertain 
When he seeks salvation in vain 
In the trigger of the gun 
And the false notion that he is the only one 
Who feels this way 
But everything will eventually pass away 
But do you realise what is eternal in the now 
And if you do then what will you allow 
To happen on your watch 
Do you keep one eye on the clock 
As you hear it tick your life away
And you gather sand because you cannot stay
In an earthen grain 
And is it wrong that I see the pain 
In their mocking eyes 
As they disguise 
Their despair 
At having to go in there
And break what someone else built 
But now the milk is spilt 
And do we cry or do we clean it up 
Do we make it worse or do we love 
And hold the hand of the screaming baby 
Is that what it takes to save me? 

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A Covenant Of Love

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I haven’t forgotten the holy of my youth 
And time can be a brute 
As it crushes you in the centre of the wheel
And life doesn’t care how you feel 
It will keep punching above its weight
Until you forgo the hate 
And my grandmother told me a little tale
About two baby birds in a nest who without fail 
Would always find a way to make space for each other 
Meanwhile I hate my brother 
For what he did to me 
But forgiveness lets all that go free 
No coming for Amy or railing against the world 
Just trusting what it means to be Catholic Irish 
Some part of me flourish 
Under that sun
And I know the one 
Thing about humans is that they’re flawed
And when all the ice has thawed 
The sins will be revealed
Childhoods that people steal 
And yet the good only ever shone on me 
From an altar that set me free 
To trust in something and believe 
In what Fr. P would have up his sleeve 
As he tended to his flock 
And reminded me what I’m not 
When I thought I was 
Just a little child, small because 
I’m too young to have an opinion 
But you don’t treat me like a minion 
But an equal foot I stand 
And I will forever hold that man 
In the highest esteem 
For all he did to pierce the dream 
And let the white light shine through 
I thank him in all of you

Third Eye Blues

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I got lost in the third eye blues 
And everything called me to pay my dues
But I didn’t have any money
Though I’m wealthy as fuck, honey
I slot the puzzle piece into the jar 
As I wonder what you are 
And the nomad in me looks for change
But it’s not the kind that rattles when you’re outta range 
It’s the kind that breaks like the sun 
Across the sky and over everyone 
And I play the perfect princess 
I know to whom I must address 
That painful moniker 
And you’ve all already met her 
Somewhere in my early teens 
When I was still staring across moonbeams 
Into the stars
I shook against the prison bars
And she had the key 
I didn’t realise that she was locking me
In there 
Or if I did I didn’t care
Because she used to make me laugh 
But when she shattered the glass she didn’t do it by half 
And I let it go, forgiveness now 
I’m good at that but some remains somehow
Like a grain of sand in the oyster shell 
I grit my teeth as I wish her well 
And I’ve lots of secrets I will never tell 
Well not to her, not now, though she rings the bell 
That signals me to come 
But, hun
I’m not Pavlov’s dog 
And in the fire there’s a log
Burning more than well enough to keep me warm 
And though you brought the storm 
I don’t hate you 
And fair play to the men who date you 
They have more steel than me 
But nothing is more real than eternity 
And it’s something that will not break
So though you shake 
Everything in sight 
I still give a shite

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There’s Darker Than That In The Shadows

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There’s darker than that in the shadows
And the girl rebelled on All Hallow’s 
Eve and there were claps of thunder
I saw them taking my number
So I ran and ran
Now no one can 
Reach me
And no matter what they teach me
I cannot unsee the truth
That perforated the wisdom of my youth
They try to placate
Say; find a perfect date
Find a man you can settle down with 
Though it might be hard coz you’re such a bitch
But I don’t care anyway
I just sway
With the leaves in the trees
As everyone believes that down on your knees
Is the way to free
But it just isn’t me
And the man is beautiful, the man is real 
But he just closes down how I feel
And say’s to me on the phone
Goodbye, Laura, now I’m alone
As the bombs go off
And I pay the cost
For the rattling rain 
That hammers my doorstep again
And again and again 
I can’t reasonably blame the weather on men 
But then I do 
I just blame you 
For casting me out
For casting aspersions and self doubt
On who I am 
And if I’ve any choice as to who I can 
Love, it will never be you 
Even if your baby blue
Is enticing 
My soul is advicing 
Me to depart
I do it all with solemn heart 

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The Wars From Afar

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I was a teen when the war in Iraq broke out
And there was nothing I could do to stem the doubt
That no one should be invading a land
That they simply do not understand
And dictators come in many shapes and sizes
Some of them would be surprises
Because what’s viewed as a just war
Only depends on what you’re looking for 
And the bullets will be forever silent
If we abdicate the violent
And you could say I’m a pacifist
And we simply should not exist 
Because we put stability in danger
When we say that the manger
Should not starve a baby boy
And a gun is not a toy
And I’ve never been burdened by strife
I just rebel when he wants a wife
To make a house and home
But I love being on my own
Free to admire
Now I’m watching buildings on fire
And children screaming for their parents 
Wondering where the hell they went 
Not knowing, and maybe by grace
They get to see their faces
Again
And you can blame men
But it is the ego
It shoots what it doesn’t see though
And I am no liberator 
The queen of whatever and see you later 
But I can’t be superfluous about this 
It is not stuck in a kiss
It is in a scene that I could change 
If I just rearrange 
The way I see things play
Because it will never be okay
To raid a village and plunder and thieve
And feed the enemy things they might believe 
So that you can further your agenda
And you have some friends that will defend ya
But the foundations are rocky and unstable 
And what was born isn’t able
To reign in the suspense
Compassion’s in the present tense
And it is the only way
To redeem the wolves that bay
To the moon we all see
Let’s let the past be history

Forgiveness And Its Release

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Forgiveness opens the heart
When you agree to be a part
Of this grand swathe we call life 
Even when it isn’t nice
And the bitterness broke
Like a sea over me 
When someone I thought
Would adore me 
Forever, shattered the glass
Told me that it just wouldn’t last
And I let my hand fall 
Coz I knew a brick wall
Is not for the turning
And my indignancy’s burning 
As she calls me out 
As a princess in an ivory tower
I abdicate and she has all the power
Whispering to ears
That I caused her tears
And am malign
If she wants an ending
Well that’s fine
I let her go 
No more chasing what I don’t know 
Coz I feel for her 
But what we were 
Is toxic through and through
She poured little bullets into
My coffee when I was set on drinking
My friends say that I’m overthinking 
The matter, it’s just jealousy
But she has the will to turn all against me 
I pass Sinéad McCormack in the hall 
She averts her gaze and my heart fall
In her confidence 
I’m all marks and little dents 
From the pillars she pricked 
You wouldn’t have thought the memory sticked 
In my soul for so long
For though I did no wrong
In my own estimation
I flick to her station 
And public enemy number one 
Is me basking in the sun
Of the God of all light
Coz He chose me, alright
When the going was tough
And I had run dry of all my love
As death pierced my balloon 
The rumblings of threat 
And what’s always too soon 
But she didn’t see
What I left in the library
When I closed the door 
I won’t be back here anymore 
And it was soft
I didn’t let her know she inflicted a cost
Coz I wouldn’t please her 
As they say
But would you deceive her 
Come what may
Into thinking she meant the sky
One thing’s for certain
We all die 
And the even fate
Levels it’s gaze at me as I wait
For the gong
And the throng
That follows suit
Do you think I am a flute
To live with your bite
And apologise to you, alright 
For being what I am 
I’m sorry but that’s not my plan
In the effervescent 
Look for true care and you’ll find the essence 
Of what I sought to impart
I’m an Aries and my heart
Will rule the head 
And instead 
Of giving in
I walk out, and that’s my sin 
As she looks on
At what’s gone 
And wonders why
Friends don’t try to make you cry
So, I hope you’re well
But as for admittance 
You can go to hell

In Separate Spheres

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The fire’s alight with every fuse that it burns 
And I just fall in love as the sun burns 
On the axis of you
What the hell am I supposed to do 
With all these feelings I’ve got 
That I think time forgot 
In the aching I feel
And was that time real
When we hopped a scotch
And I pulled into your parking lot
To pick you up
They say a hand to a glove
Is all that you need
But you made me bleed
On January 21st 
I didn’t let on when it hurt
And you took up with her
I just watched without a word 
And let on I didn’t care 
You ran a hand through your hair
But I was there
And I still am
Guess that wasn’t part of your plan
To keep your guard dog lover throughout the years
I’d silence waves like I do your fears
Kiss you on the crest
And find the man that knows me best

Sigh

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Letting go of what he did to me
Letting go of what she said
Letting go of the nightmares
That haunt me troubled in bed
Coz I’m living untethered
I’m a wildebeest at heart
And all I seem to know how to do
Is make my pain into art
And I paint my own canvas
I love the glorious white
But the colours of rainbow
Make the fire in me ignite
And I throw in some earphones
It’s punk rock and emo lite
I nod to the folks you asked
If I was alright
And I’ve got fury
Burning a candle
Maybe I’m just too hot to handle
But I’m an Aries and my planet Mars
Rules the conduct in the passing of stars
And you’ll never be able to touch
What is beyond your reach
I didn’t come here for students
I’m not one who has to teach
To live my own compass point 
It’s been years since the Love anoint
Me with its holy Chrism
I try to get away but it seems the answer is Him
And He brushes my hair out of my face
Looks down from Heaven and gives me a taste
Of what it must be like to live in the realm
Where God is a friend and Truth is at the helm
In the midnight of another sorrow
I get by on daydreams and the light I borrow 
From the sun that gives me life 
Seems the setting shade gives you twice
The morning on replay
It’s always bright at the break of day

Momentary

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It was momentary 
Just a little hint of stardust
As we danced to the silence of your heart
And I realized we would never be apart
That there’s something in your eyes
It’s in the movies in disguise
And I remember watching Yvaine
Soar above the pain
In that summer of 08
It was August and every breath that I take
Informs me of something new
And, honey, it was you

Now you’re far away
And weaving in and out between
Dancing in 
Some kind of dream
And there are words I don’t utter
But when you smile I melt like butter
Into a puddle at your feet
I’m still absorbed by the way a black hole will meet
The light that moves to its own pulse
And I must inquire does love repulse
Opposite poles like two magnet shapes 
Did I fall in love or did I forsake

And we’re all at sea in our separate lives
We do anything just to survive
But I catch you catch hold of my hand
Help me into a carriage I don’t understand 
As it takes me somewhere new
There is scenery but it sings of you
And the us we could be
Or already are like water is free
To flow through rather than under
And I may have deleted your number
But it’s just coz I’m defeated and going under
The tidal weight of the ocean we are
You caught my eye like a shooting star

Venerate The Goddess

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Venerate the Goddess
Get down on your knees
Do anything I ask
Or anything I please
And I’ll give you the world
A plethora of things
Or a simple key
Into the heart that sings
So you can unlock
The dial that keeps you closed
A vault of solid steel
Or concrete, God knows 
And I know the wealth
Is not hidden behind
It resides somewhere
Beyond the mind
And you can touch into
The intimate fold
Find something
More precious than gold
As you realise
All you’ve come to be
Don’t blame me now
Just coz you see

Darkness Tremble

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Trusting in the Christ
Was the best decision of my life
And I’m no girl to be a wife
Just one to bring the light
And I’ve always trusted in you
From the living room to the pew 
Singing songs in tribute to
The glory and the faith I have in you
And darkness eventually came to call
I’m young and lying against a wall
Crying tears in a free for all
But you brought the love to stop the fall
And lift me up, now I’m on my feet
And I know there’s nothing I could meet
That would bring me defeat
Now that your mercy speak
For me amongst the chasm so bleak
How am I standing if I’m weak
And there’s nothing left to seek
Now that I’ve found that holy heat
That burns in the heart of me
A consciousness that’s been set free
As I proclaim eternity
In every blade of grass that I see
Called upon to be the voice
To speak silence in the noise
And draw all souls into you 
Just tell me what to do

Love, X

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Don’t call me a crazy female just cause I sing the blues
I’m entitled to my feeling as you are to your truth
And all your words and actions just do not negate
The fact that I love you interspersed with the hate
And though I may be wild and inconvenient to host
You don’t have to treat me as if I am a ghost
As you look straight through as though you never saw me there
I know you have a heart so don’t pretend you do not care
And relegate my cause to the long lost ceaseless pile
Just cause I stood in your shoes but declined to walk a mile
I am not the stereotype of an ex who just won’t let go
That is a little sexist though I won’t claim to know 
Why you always had a disdain for the other half
So you tried to make them smile, you tried to make them laugh
You tried to make them fall so they could not right themselves
And when you were done you left them on the shelf
To waste and wear away until they were nothing at all
Though I had to say I enjoyed my free fall
Down into the darkness, the emptiness of the void
I won’t pretend you’re the cause of what makes me annoyed
That you did not reach out when I was hanging on that cliff
And I just keep on going and back and saying what if
But all explainations fail and considerations die
When I look into the pupil in the centre of your eye
And find myself adrift like so many years ago
When you met me as a girl, the girl you say you do not know
And yes it hit the mark, did it hurt to deny
That we collided interscope, say the truth now, do not lie
That we once in a lifetimed upon the green grass
As you stood and stared at me and what I thought to ask
Such a preposterous question and so handsomely obvious
That you were the decider and where I placed my trust
But years have gone by and I have not seen your face
You never were the hero that rode out to lay waste
You just sat inside and cried about love long gone
You didn’t care about the someone that you kept on
You didn’t care about the promises you made to me that day
About how you looked me in the face and did not go away
And how I waited on your figure to statue all my dreams
But that was just the prelude to my long lasting private screams
That I howled in the night time on my bedroom floor
In a city far away behind a closed door
And I clutched at my insides cause I felt them coming out
And tried my best to keep silent cause I did not want to shout
About the enemies who had closed in on my life
And decided in that cage that I didn’t get another light
And subtle was the meaning and subtle was the voice
It was many years before I saw there was a choice
That there was another way, a way out of the pain
And just because you’re under clouds doesn’t mean you feel the rain
So here I stand before you and I repeat what’s ever true
That though my body will die I am not leaving you
And I will descend to the very depths
If that’s what it takes to pull you up those steps
To walk you to the door though you in the end refuse
And I’m left to perish slowly from the burning of a fuse
And there the gates of heaven lie meaningless without
Someone to hold my hand, the one it’s all about
So what do you expect, me to just go away
Again in all the cyanide where the demonds hold sway
But I stand here defiant and here I will roar
That I love you in the vacancy of a foreign shore
And I may never realise the place whereon I stand
But it was a miracle that I got to touch your hand
And hold you so close for a moment and for all
I think I was mistaken, there was never a wall
I just hit my own pride and held back what I knew
And now the time has come to pay you your due
In coins or in gold, I know you hold them in contempt
And I’ll always be the one that you resent
But here I pledge my life for yours and forever
I will seal it in blood to ensure my endeavour
And I will stand guard at the edges to soften the blow
Of the searing scars you don’t want to show
To hold and to comfort and to see you see your might
I knew that in that moment and I know now you’re alright
Whatever you say and the play you do cascade
I can see that you tremble, that you shake, that you’re afraid
And know I will not hurt you and my alliegence is true
All is nothing to me honey and there is only you
So to hell with all the anger and the sorcery
I am here to tell you now that it’s possible to be free
And just to breathe in air when you think that you are done
And when you’ve lost it all you see that you have won
And ever could forgive the place where you fell
It wasn’t only you, it was me aswell

Burning Strong

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I’ve held it back for so long you see
From loving you and my destiny
It almost feels strange to breathe in the air
Feel the wind rustle calmness through my hair

I was born for this, I know I was
I was holding myself back because
Of all of my doubts, of all of my fears
All of this shaking has taken my years

But you knew that day, I saw it in your eyes
Knew my path and saw through my lies
You didn’t say a thing, didn’t judge me or hate
For living untruths and turning from fate

You didn’t hit me or call cynical tones
You listened to me with no throwing stones
You bowed your head and leaned in to my face
As I spoke my soul into that space

Your instinct was right, I saw it in your mind
As I begged you not to be cruel or unkind
But you knew better and I knew that you did
And still in my weakness I ran and hid

I just want to thank you for being so wise
And for knowing me better than I did at that time
I’ll never forget what you gave me for free
Trusted what you could not see

You trusted me to hold your hand
Though betrayal was my only plan
You stood beside me in my loss
You didn’t run or pay the cost

Sat side by side though I was wrong
Gave me somewhere to belong
Our secrets stories are coming true
I share it with the world and you

I feel somehow you understand
How I have changed my marching band
You were spot on when you predicted
I was a tenant soon to be evicted

I was confused and in delirium wandered
Into a forest where my wealth was squandered
But I found my way out eventually
Back to the place fitting for me