Tag: fearlessness

The Pain And The Peace

.Reading time 3 minutes.
There is pain and there is peace
And there is a moment where both cease
To mean anything at all
And I’m staring at a wall
Just tap tapping my pen 
And I feel it all again 
And it is as though the universe rehearse
The plaid shirt poetry in my verse 
As it speaks to me through life
And I always thought I’d be a wife
But that doesn’t seem to be my thing 
I would prefer truth over a ring 
And I can’t condense this immaculate soul 
Into something that is just a role
For there is love and there is joy
But can I tie myself to a boy
Forevermore
And forsake the soul I adore
Or is there a way he can open the expanse
So that both our spirits will dance
Together in unison 
But he just chooses to get his gun
And shoot at cacti in the desert 
I question his poor self worth 
But he doesn’t seem to be inclined to rise
And settles like sand at the bottom of my eyes
And the glass is half empty, never full 
I bathe his wounds with cotton wool 
So it will not inflict too much pain 
But how can a man stand this much rain 
And I know the fields are green so 
There is much that will grow 
And an abundance of fertility 
And for all his virility 
I can’t put my finger on what isn’t gone 
I just know I can’t ignore our song 
As I pull back from the book and gram 
Some metaverse serving someone’s plan 
In the ether 
It’s not me either 
It’s a seed to sow 
I hold on, just so you know 
And though you beg me to let go 
It’s just not in my make up 
So why don’t you just wake up 
And see the sky above your head 
it will keep you from the dread 
That forms moats around your castles 
And I know you want a girl with tassels 
But I don’t think that’s what I am 
I said to him as I hold his hand 
And in confusion iridescent blue 
Meets my own in a new hue 

Image Credit: https://pin.it/2zUgm7xud

Time And Space

.Reading time 1 minute.
There is a distance in time and space
It takes you away from the Now
But you have shown me somehow 
That there is no way you could be removed 
From where I am in tune
With the stars and sea 
He is always with me 
Even though we haven’t spoken in ten years
Even though I cried bitter tears
Over our supposed separation 
And my education 
Only ever confirmed
That there is always more to be learned 
When you try to ignite the fire
And I do not tire 
Of my twin flame dreams
Because nothing is as it seems
When you water it down 
There’s something about this town
That still sings to me
And our history 
In separate schools 
Breaking all but the most pressing rules 
As we fight to be free
I know you had your destiny 
To meet
But would you greet
Me at the door
Because, darling, I always want more

The Misdemeanours

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I have this fear inside me, do I focus on it 
And does it just make me act like a twit
I find myself in St. Pat’s, ground floor
And everyone shines, my God, mo stór
As I’m lying in bed in Dean Swift at night 
And he’s illuminated by the bathroom light
He says it’s very bright
But I could look at him and sight
Is no burden 
But how would I word them 
This prose that sits inside
And I only ever hide
The best of me 
And the rest of me
Lies in wait
All the guys I’d love to date
But my heart won’t let me 
Soul won’t forget me 
And lead me down a merry path
One I might never find my way back 
From 
And it’s gone
That sudden sharp
Like Cleopatra playing the harp
It’s an illusion
And the confusion 
Was I trusted words
Instead of the flight path of birds
As they streak across the sky
And I am not afraid to die
But say that to a psy 
Chiatrist 
And you may get the gist
Of what I relay 
I eventually learned not to say
What was on my mind 
Because it leaves me behind 
Like an autumn tree 
And everything is fluttering from me 
As I’m out in the grass
With Mary Jean, I never had to ask 
Her to teach me how to knit
She wove the wool deftly as I sit 
And she came to my door
With something she’d baked on the first floor
And we ate it with my sister
God knows, I missed her
When I was locked away
And I don’t care what people say
Those places don’t help
They just teach you how to stand on a shelf
All pretty in pink 
And I used to think 
It was for a reason
Now I see it was just a season
I was passing through
Growing wings and flying too 
Beyond the veil 
And what’s not up for sale 
Will always be bought
By those who think they have caught
The value in it
And I didn’t win it
But let it go
There’s joy in defeat too, you know

Getting The Message To Where It Needs To Be

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I’m getting the message to where it needs to be
Because people drown in a foot of sea
Water as it comes up to their throats
They don’t know they can stand up and hope floats
And seeks eternity in the bones
Of the body the soul has made home
We tiptoe around the fact
It doesn’t help that I want him back
In spite of all his flaws
And the way the icicle thaws
As it hangs like a stalactite
From the room I ignite 
With my Lára flame 
You know everything is in a name
And I am not to be crossed
But look, baby, all is not lost
Not if you count the shipwreck safe
But there’s a coast we can escape
To if you just open your eyes
But you keep them closed and something dies
In the subterfuge
And it’s all rouge 
Everywhere
And people who just do not care
About what has come to pass
And the part of love that last
Far past the point of surrender
I do everything I can to make you remember 
But you are lost in your nonchalant 
As I pick an adequate font 
To write out your epitaph 
You know you made me laugh 
So hard that day
But was I laughing at what goes away 
When the midnight is done
And there is a sun
That does not need light 
Or fusion to combust into all that’s right
And I know you hobble and I know that spiders’ webs
Weave their tendrils above your head
I’m just here to be a reminder
That if you look you will find her
Right where she always was
Under the stone of your in-laws

Issues

.Reading time 3 minutes.
The pain reverberates around the inner wall of my sanctum
All is lost and I never thanked him
For who he was to me
They say that death is to be set free
But chains encircle and the vice, it grips
Some people escape by going on head trips
I sit in the suffer 
Coz I know you loved her
In your short time here
Your golden hair and fiery heart, my dear
Will never go to waste 
I stay chaste
And good and clean
But I only meet you in a dream
Til he walks on the scene 
And everything I love is in full colour 
The Now is here and the past is duller
But the car crash of us mimics the cry
Of the moment I learned that you die
Grasping, clawing, trying to hold on
But you are already gone
And memory
Seems to be 
The only thing you have left me 
As the vultures circle looking for some chew 
While I’m on the grass just talking to you
And he was a symbol of salvation, I held him tight
But he’s emptiness in the night
Always a little too far away
With a little too much to say
About me and you, he and I
And I’m not gonna lie
I tried to make that plaster fit
He just thinks I am a little bitch
Affection and playful but it’s not enough
I’m looking for Eternal Love
To bridge the gap
Because Death leaves behind no map
And the scrap of what I can remember 
Of the years of knowing you
Is scrawled in a diary I put pen to
But it doesn’t bring you back, I chew the cap
What if I have another relapse
And end up in the psych ward again
Because reality is not my friend
So I take refuge in fables
Keep up if you’re able
It’s a litany
Of all the liars I never got to be 
And somewhere in the sunshine I see you again
You set the gold standard of men
And you were there that year in 2007
In the blue camp and I, eleven,
In love with with your name
Life will never, ever be the same
With you gone, now there’s no one to squeeze my hand 
And smile like everything is grand 
And fun and neat
Next door neighbours, next time we meet
Will be an eon hence
My Love is never in the past tense

Effortless

.Reading time 1 minute.
I guess I was wrong
I was so hypocritical 
I never stood up for you
Antithetical
And the movement was counter
To the culture you know
So GAA in your face 
To hammer the blow
Home like you never knew   
But I loved you
And your depression reeks
Of the mountain you never speak
And I know you have something
In you to say
I can feel it when 
You look at me that way
And the colours are shining
And you’re full of pride
There’s a part of my life
That I always hide
From the well wishers from walls
Sick of getting these cold calls
From a foreign air
It’s as though I’m about to go spare
Running a race I’ll never win
If I agree will you let me in
But is that just bad form
When there’s a part of my heart warm
From the joy of just meeting you
I went along with it coz you wanted me to

Symbolism

.Reading time 2 minutes.
We were all shored up
It was cut and dry
And each one of us
Would’ve been willing to die
For the cause that we believe in
The colour into life
Not trudge to the grave
As a man and wife
But they caught us in the field
As the sky turned back blue
“Who dare refracts the sunlight
We think that it is you”
And he grabbed me by my collar
Through me into a van
Said a hundred metre sprint
Would be an also ran
And the courage dropped down low
In the back of my throat
As I thought about our history
And the genius that I quote
Are we just railroaded
Into another station
Will they call us out 
On all our conflagration 
And a blow to my face
And another to my stomach
The dread it lives in me
Like a rollercoaster plummet
And the drop may be expected
But it is never willed
It’s just there’s this void inside
That is longing to be filled
And if you have to crawl 
Make sure that you don’t stop
I picked myself back up
After a round in the parking lot
And is the light extinguished
Or does it live on
Long after my beauty
And my strength are long gone
As I fail to lift a hand
Til something pulls me to my feet
And it’s been twenty years
It’s like the first time that we meet
In the battalion of the fearless
That drown the silence out
Stand up and be counted
You don’t have to live without
In this suffer and this burial
You seemed condemned to bear
But I know Truth by name
Because I saw the lie tear
And the fabric rip a thread
Now it’s pulling a seam
It seems a hole has pierced
Through the density of dreams
That send us aflourish 
Into the garden green
It’s coming around again
All that we have been

Atticus Finch

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Giving myself permission to open up
I’ve got to be vulnerable if I wanna love
And I’m risking the pain coz damn sure it’s there
But I’ve gotta trust if I wanna care
And the wind blows no matter which way I turn
A fire sign has just gotta burn
Til the ashes turn phoenix new 
Til I see myself reflected in you 
And I know I’ve got problems, I know I’ve got vices
But I am the queen of no compromises
As I utter the truth as it sits on my breath
I say to the sky; don’t let me forget
Coz I wanna grow up, I don’t wanna away
But there’s room in this house for peace to stay
And open the cages that rattle their bars
Twenty odd years and I’m still chasing cars
Down every avenue
Still trying to prove something to you
All now that are watching my every move
But who would you be if you walked in my shoes
Like Atticus Finch and fine thread
Do up your laces and keep up your head
As everything born to beat you down
Slowly vacates your side of town
To leave you free as a bird in the air
I just want you to know that I am there
For you in every melee
Whether or not you’re talking to me
In the sunshine, the storm, the rain or the snow
There is no place a shepherd won’t go
To retrieve that lost sheep he owns 
Give up the struggle and just come home