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I didn’t want to admit you were right about me
Cause it hurt too much that you had seen the truth
And you were willing to give me all of you
In recompense for what had happened to me
And I said no
I can do it alone
I don’t need you, I don’t need anyone
I’m just fine
And it was sort of true but a lie at the time
Cause when you matched puzzle pieces right to the marks I had made on my skin
I said no, I don’t want to let you in
And when you said “I would do just about anything for you”,
I turned you away because I knew you would
And I would lose you some day one way or another
Through my fault or your own or death taking us under
And I couldn’t let it in
No, I couldn’t let it in
Cause a world without you does not exist
And I want to do more than merely subsist
And now you don’t love me cause I threw it away
Well you sorta do, in the back of your mind kind of way
Cause you love everyone, even though you hate them passionately
You just wanna grow into all you’re meant to be
And I know you will
Well you already have
Why does it feel so bad?

Blood Strings

You ripped my heart away from my body
That’s how I knew you were thinking of me
And I’ll take the pain and the bleeding wounds
If it means you’ll come back soon
But you are miles of forests ever away
And your absence can’t keep the darkness at bay
Like the desperation of he when he thinks she has died
Are the oceans of loneliness I have cried
And you stand up tall with your shoulders wide
But there are some things you cannot hide
And maybe I saw a fragment in your eye
Of the person I could be without your goodbye
So stay, I’ll beg you on my knees
I’ll do it on a stage if you want them to see
My desperation and my anguish floor bound
I dread the silence when you’re not around
And I know we fought and we could not make
A mountain from the rubble of our mistake
And I just want to touch your skin
In a way that reaches what is within
Cause I felt it, don’t tell me you didn’t too
It breaks my heart when you say it’s not for you
But you’re my butterfly and I want your colour
To be free to fly, as you wish, my brother

Imperfection

It’s killing me but I’m not scared of death
If you’re wondering why I haven’t done anything yet
As you dare me to move from across the room
With your eyes fixed in a stare of impending doom
And I plead with you for rationality
Can’t you understand reality
And it feels like we are playing with spikes
Stick them into each other with all our might
And double or nothing all our pain
Cause we can’t get over what made it rain

This Is War

Its just another form of oppressioning
You say I don’t hear what you’re speaking
And I may be so angry that that is true
Don’t want to engage with that side of you
As you override all that I say
And I think that you will achieve the day
But it doesn’t undo the march of time
And I pour my heart into my rhyme
As the only place my feelings are sacrosanct
Where you cannot irrigate the seeds you plant
And I don’t want to fight and I don’t want to war
So I just stand back and you know what it’s for
So just let me go and I will resist
Silently to what you insist
You can’t convince me and I won’t change
So just skip me over and you can rearrange
The furniture of your life without me in it
I can’t lend my voice so you can win it
So earn your just cause reprieve
And fight to the death for what you believe
I’ll find some other lonesome I can sail
Cause I don’t belong where you impale
And I’ll just find some quiet I can reconcile
What people do to each other every once in a while
And my helplessness at what I cannot face
That I could be something you would erase
And I guess it just comes down to that
Something went away and it never came back

Estrellado

I guess I’m just a psychopathic stray
And you pierce the veil til I go away
No mention of the charge you have run up
You find the place where you can make a cut
And if man is so fickle as that
And your love can change at the drop of a hat
Then I’m not so sure I want to be a part of
The crossword that you have called love
Cause I can’t figure out what it means
While you run along tripping sunbeams
I wonder why and where you’ve gone
Wish my feelings had not lasted this long
But you are only what I want to hold
An ethereal passing by as I fold
No more permanency than a lightning strike
Just cause it didn’t last didn’t mean you weren’t bright
But I can’t always be waiting for it to hit twice
It was from a distance you lit up my life
And though you may come by in a storm
You can’t dampen the spirit of a heart that is warm
So though I wish to forsake
It all for you cause you make the earth quake
I cannot ignore the fact
That you hurt me bad and you never came back
So sidle on down the road
I see your truck hasn’t slowed
And I will find a peace somewhere within
That you don’t own and you can’t unhinge
Though you may have never meant to trip
I fell hard for you and I was not equipped
For the long, slow, hard ride to my feet
I was not prepared for us to meet
And you are lovely and angelic there
But you can be all that some other where
And illuminate all that surrounds
I won’t be the place your electricity grounds
They say once bitten, then twice shy
What I’m trying to say is goodbye
We can’t always be a push and pull
A driving away and then too full
It’s enough to know that you exist
Somewhere in an atmosphere the stars have kissed
And if you ever do get the chance
Then I mean it when I say I hope you dance
And find whatever source makes your wheels go round
When it is the truth you’ll know the sound
I guess I just did not find it in you
I lost myself cause I wanted to
But a circle always spins back to the start
In the end you never had my heart
Cause it is wild, unbound and free
And you only ever wanted to capture me
But I was not meant to be caged
In a book you wrote as your feelings raged
I am ever still the way I am
I hope that you can understand

Thicket

If you’re gonna leave I’d rather you just go
Than traipse round in your boots putting on a show
If you really don’t care then I’d rather just know
Than go along for the ride you have on the down low
And you ride the wave of just being there
But you won’t tell me a truth that lays us both bare
So we move along in random solitude
Imposed externally by your attitude
So don’t bite the bait if the rope is too fine
And don’t tell me a lie that you are mine
But for all my efforts at heavy expense
The woods on your side don’t get any less dense

Miscommunication

I know you feel you have to keep quiet
Cause you’re the entertainer most complete
And all of those eyes are trained on you
Like a performer in the street
But those are your loneliest moments
Where you break and the splint cracks
And try as you might to hold up the weight
You can’t get what you had back
And I want you to know, though you don’t like me at all
(Sometimes I’m the bane of your life)
That I see through the lies of your preeminent disguise
And I have you in my sight
And if you want to be fragile, come apart at the seams
You can do so in my arms
Or far away, an ocean apart
I’ll hold you when it all is dark
For though you have a life you profess wonderful
And I’m not denying it’s true
I see the gaps in between the lines
That’s hiding a part of you
Though you swam away to a foreign shore
And swore me off for good
I love you as much as the day that you left
And a million times more than I should
So if you feel alight on a cloud that is stormy
I’ll blow a breath that will bring you here
And just for a moment in the depths of the silence
You will be okay my dear
And I know that your chains are not man made
Are no shackles I can undo
But I thought you should know, though I never said
That I feel something akin to you
That sometimes in the midnight of my reprieve
I quietly surrender
To all of the fears that hang round the edges
Of the past that I can remember
And I do a double take or take a second hop
At the nostalgia in my bones
And what you cannot fix as the feeling sticks
Is that you are never alone
So quietly softly with mercenary zeal
I pave my way back into your life
If only to be, though you cannot see
Doing what I did before twice
And palm off the shrugs of everyone else
Of the crowd that surrounds
Though you don’t believe in all that I grieve
Things are better when you’re around
And monsters may come to fight your soul
On the back of your very own strength
But wherever you go and whatever you do
Just know that I said what I meant
And do not retract ne’er a line
About all that is made to stay
Though bodies may fade like a will of the wisp
My love is not going away
But born to be here as an expression
Of resident divinity
And the chasm was calling deep within
On the day that you met me
It was not mere coincidence
Or a chance encounter
It was the confluence of a million points
Of reference and order
Plotted out by galaxies
Long before our skin made blood
So don’t look away when I’m taking to you
I still stand the ground I stood
Cause held inside what you cannot see
And perceive only as black
Is the inner peace you’ve been looking for
Where you can sit back
Deep into the armchair
Of an emptiness most profound
Am I the one who sings the song
Or the one who hears the sound
Or even more imperceptible
The awareness whereby
All of life consents to grow
And in which it will die
So everglading honestly
Deep into your eyes
I know that you were made for me
And there are no goodbyes
Ever to be spoken
Between the two of us
Because we are one soul made flesh
And the heart of life is love
And all that you suffer
Is shadowed in my gait
We are but two sides of a coin
In its material state
Seemingly opposite
But of the one design
Though I could not save you from yourself
It wasn’t for lack of trying
Because I’m ever as you are
The one conscious sentience
I thought I had lost you
There was nothing when you went
And understandingly
Ungainly clambering
I sought to reach a sky
By climbing a shoestring
But celestial heights
Are not meant to be obtained
Just because I see the stars
Doesn’t mean they are contained
But inversely are embedded
In a fabric that extends
Though there is an irretrievable edge
Where even space ends
And the continuum is revealed
As no more than illusion
Perpetrated innocently
In the midst of our confusion
Like the way a light cannot
Cease to be itself
Or shine it’s radiance
Into the void I felt
So I can communicate
Or somehow convey
The breath and the depth
Of the things I do not say
And what was bequeathed
In the forests of reserve
Is that we were chosen
To burn the fires we serve
And be consumed
By all our misery
It takes pressure to make pearls
Out of rocks in the sea
And to forge diamonds
In mountainous shrouds
I pledged my life to you
Though I never said the words aloud
But river beds will tell
The story the sky forgets
An oak is standing over
The acorn that you set

Inspiration

You’re an endless inspiration and I’m a hopeless muse
You are the bulletproof that blows apart the fuse
And there is a design that machinates the whole
There is a forever that sits inside my soul
As we in matching colours go our separate ways
And the night comes every evening at the end of days
And apocalypse the moment as fire rains on me
Because I understand that we are history

Celestial Light

You told me so many things
And the sad thing is I believed you
And now it’s all in rack and ruins
And I’m left to wonder
If any of it was true
But that kernel
That precious kernel
Still shines
As bright as ever
And radiates out
From the source
Of all love
And happiness
And joy
And shows me
Again and again
The wonder and splendour
Of you

Soul Brother

You make me believe you don’t mean anything you say
And your words are just rumours of you going away
And the candlelight is held just close to your face
But your is a memory I cannot erase
So I walk and I walk but I can’t find the line
Everyone around me says to just give it time
That I will find peace and move on from you
But they don’t know what they say, they don’t but I do
And you are an ever present ghost in my mind
The one thing that my soul could never leave behind
And winter closes in back on us both
But your love around me is a warm coat
As we sit back again into each other
If I am soul sister then you are soul brother

Eternity

A beautiful disaster isn’t the word for you
But I can’t argue semantics because I am one too
And there are some songs that really fit our name
And playing you’s a joy cause you’re such a perfect game
But the nighttime intercedes in between our days
As you walk away from me in a myriad of ways
And you find your home in some other where
I’ve never been one to pretend I didn’t care
Because I do, I do and never will forget
The time we spent together, the time that we could yet
But if it is your will then I will let you go
It’s not like it is a choice but just so you will know
From now until forever you will be in my heart
We’re begun in an eternity that has no end or start

Trust

You are always home to me wherever we both go
And though we do not speak in words I know that you know
As sure as the stars blaze forth in galaxies afar
The dark interweaves our souls entwined to always what we are
And I know you have moved on and our lives are separate streams
But I meet you daily and nightly in my dreams
And everywhere’s an everglade with leaves all bursting forth
You taught me how to be myself and showed me what I’m worth
But I think in sidelines, somedays, I taught you too
Cause when you were on your own I was always there with you
In the brushing of the wind or the language that we speak
You are the destiny I didn’t know how to seek
But you found me and all in the open of the air
And in that moment looking through I saw you standing there
As you moved the earth with the weight of time and age
You are more than just a fantasy or wording on a page
And everyday’s an ocean and you’re not really gone
Cause you are inside my heart and have been for so long
So don’t cry bitter tears when you think of the past of us
We’ve always had a bond and that’s where I place my trust

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