Can I not speak my truth As I try to put words to my youth And the boy that blazed the sky Across the part of me that would not die Not matter how they tried To bury me with the tears they’ve cried Over ancient wounds But he walks into rooms And just changes the air Not someone else is there And I can’t knock Even though there are things that it is not Could I just be your friend And wait for things to end With her So we can reconnect with what we were And my sister warns me to stay away And my mother lets me know I would have to pay A price I can’t afford If I risk my room and board In the home I built for us Because paper wrinkled with broken trust Can’t be merged back into fine Without someone having to do hard time As I walk in the night It’s five o’ clock and, alright It’s to early to call So I bang my head off a wall And hope that it will soothe the drum That whispers to me what we will become If I just let it flow Why is it that being told to let go Makes me feel like someone’s stabbing my guts And the model in me struts Down the aisle But the lioness only smile As she bares her teeth We both stood on the street Near the monument to 1916 And sometimes I wonder if it was only ever a dream To think you loved me then Because I have watched boys become men And what they lose in the shutting down And women craving a white gown To give them worthiness points In a society that anoints Babies into a secular sphere And you know the end is near When you begin But, for once, I hope you win When you try to wash away The part of me that won’t let you stay Near the shore that I created And I never wanted to be educated And forget the truth I am I love you like Ros wants Sam And your smile breaks the scene I wish you the best of this broken dream
It was shallow water And I waded in deep I stayed up all night When everyone was asleep Just to write love letters to the stars And you know my prison bars Were something I could see around Did she make a sound When she crossed the floor And I used to adore The ground she walked on Til I became something she talked on And I swore I would keep something secret It’s not like bread, you cannot eat it Only muse on what you have become And it was dark and I was young But she showed me the light As I exploded into kryptonite Shattered glass on the floor But I wanted more Than just some addendum you throw a bone Maybe I’m better off all alone Or with the ones I can stand I hate to say it but it was underhand The way you tore me down I played the thief, you played the clown And you know I felt sorry for you Despite what you put me through As I diary entries that I can’t speak You hit me hard and I was weak And the fire seemed to catch I left the room, you left the latch Open like I’m coming through But we lost what I had with you
The Poetry Book 