Tag: defiance

Handing Out Tokens

.Reading time 2 minutes.
He makes me feel brand new
And I’m not thinking of him when I’m talking to you
And I don’t know who I wrote this about
But no longer mired in self doubt
I listen to the angels that speak their tome
Into my brain when I’m all alone
And I told the psychiatrist that I hear voices
It’s not like he gave me many choices
It’s psychosis or on the brink 
Of letting the whole thing sink 
And so I drink the potion he’s dying to sell
And all the people they call unwell
And I know it’s nicer than crazy
And it doesn’t faze me 
It just feels clinical and watered down 
And when you want to drown 
Telling people that the sea
Is rising up to meet me 
In the great valley I am 
And someone mentions a care plan 
That I refuse to read
They take my blood and I bleed
Out into several jars
And I wonder if the stars 
Had this in mind
When they told me I would not be left behind
By the might of weighted thunder
Some people say I’m just a number 
And don’t know what to do 
But do you want to rock it with us, do you
And I lose the rag
And the man tries to brag
But it falls flat
As I wonder what the hell is he at
I realise only too late
He was trying to impress me into a date
Or a roll in the sheets
Was it predestined that we meet
Or was it organised
And something within never dies
No matter what they put you through
Telling you it’s for the good too 
As they lie to your face
But they lie to themselves too and it’s a waste
As the Barbie dream house claims one more doll 
Was I wrong to answer the call? 

Image Credit: https://pin.it/2IybXJeXf

Lord Knows

.Reading time 1 minute.
You let them come and take me
But you know they’ll never break me
Not with their steady lines
Although I may have had the strangest times
When I walked rote lines far afield
The defense is tough but the forwards yield 
And let me in, they let me through
So I was able to send a message to you
For all the good it did me, you didn’t listen
And now my teardrops glisten
Against the pavements I walk upon
I know they look grassy but it’s gone
The concrete jungle claims my love
And I’m always calling the realms above
Asking for a stay of leave
But they just tell me to believe
And trust and have faith in you
And Lord knows I don’t know what else to do

Always A Friend

.Reading time 3 minutes.
It was like someone had vomited Christmas 
All over Dean Swift
Did you know for me you were the greatest gift 
As you accompanied me in special care
We had the chats 
You were always there 
Like a big sister, nine years my senior
You gave me your sparkly shoes
And I threw them in the bin
I should’ve just let the love win
But everything was suspect
I made you a picture
A portrait you hung on your wall
I sat on the floor 
In your room down the hall
And you said I made you feel normal
You made me feel less formal 
And after a spate of the horrors
I asked you were we still friends 
You said “Always”
And no matter what the doctor says
I know there’s a reason I’m here 
And, love, I will always hold you dear
And I wonder where you are now 
I hope you’re good 
I got the sense you were lost in the wood
You said I had a broken wing
But, my God, that bird can sing
And you can make any forest look free
You were the definition of friend to me
As Barry looks in the window 
In the smoking room, I nod at him, though
And we vibe up a storm
I love how you make a room warm
With your subtle stare 
Can’t control me but I know you care 
In your finest hue
I’m so glad that I met you
Like a godsend in that place
It didn’t all go to waste
As you wave from through the glass 
I’m still here, if you need to ask
So, somewhere on the internet I throw you a smile
And hope your Bonny’s kept you company all this while 
And I guess what I mean is thanks for the love and acceptance 
You made hell feel like a lesson
That I just have to master
(Though it didn’t get us out any faster)
Here’s my drink, cheers to you
I hear the glass clink as you raise yours too
Just a message of love 
And knowing our friendship fit like a glove 
In our coloured ink
Just trust in love to let the heart sink
Into where it’s always been 
The waking was the best part of the dream

Redeeming Qualities

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
I’ve tried
And I can’t make it work
I know love
Isn’t meant to hurt
And all of this
Bending myself into shapes
While the hero of the story
Quietly escapes
It shows me that
The grass ain’t green
And you can’t make Heaven
Out of a dream
All the flimsy material
To wrap around
Your idiosyncrasies
And your distinct sound
That I hear
From far away
But there’s nothing
You can say
To explain
What you’ve ripped
I guess you could call it 
A head trip
Coz it really
Messed with my mind
But it’s okay
I’m leaving it behind
And you can have
An opinion or two
Just know that I
Will never belong to you

To Be In Relationship

.Reading time 1 minute.
Do you have to hide a part of yourself
To be in relationship with
And I’m all
Sarcastic wit
But do you think you could love me
For my flaws
Instead of the sun
The icicle thaws 
But the feeling gnaws
And eats me up for dinner
But I’m seeing through the sinner
As the light reflects kaleidoscopically
There’s a mountain to every valley
And I look down from mine
At all the colors that make the sun shine
And I remember
Skipping a beat
The moment that
I felt the heat
As you hold your eyes on me
And I lose it all by degree
Do you think you could hold my hand
And live up to what we had planned
But I tore down the picture 
Wouldn’t live by the stricture 
Of a voice that commands
Is that what it means to love a man
I’d rather be alone
But I still stare at my phone
And the quiet it imbues
The door slams as I sing the blues
And I know there’s better than this
I’m sorry I didn’t think to miss
The last line of the song
Stop telling me that I’m wrong