He makes me feel brand new And I’m not thinking of him when I’m talking to you And I don’t know who I wrote this about But no longer mired in self doubt I listen to the angels that speak their tome Into my brain when I’m all alone And I told the psychiatrist that I hear voices It’s not like he gave me many choices It’s psychosis or on the brink Of letting the whole thing sink And so I drink the potion he’s dying to sell And all the people they call unwell And I know it’s nicer than crazy And it doesn’t faze me It just feels clinical and watered down And when you want to drown Telling people that the sea Is rising up to meet me In the great valley I am And someone mentions a care plan That I refuse to read They take my blood and I bleed Out into several jars And I wonder if the stars Had this in mind When they told me I would not be left behind By the might of weighted thunder Some people say I’m just a number And don’t know what to do But do you want to rock it with us, do you And I lose the rag And the man tries to brag But it falls flat As I wonder what the hell is he at I realise only too late He was trying to impress me into a date Or a roll in the sheets Was it predestined that we meet Or was it organised And something within never dies No matter what they put you through Telling you it’s for the good too As they lie to your face But they lie to themselves too and it’s a waste As the Barbie dream house claims one more doll Was I wrong to answer the call?
You let them come and take me But you know they’ll never break me Not with their steady lines Although I may have had the strangest times When I walked rote lines far afield The defense is tough but the forwards yield And let me in, they let me through So I was able to send a message to you For all the good it did me, you didn’t listen And now my teardrops glisten Against the pavements I walk upon I know they look grassy but it’s gone The concrete jungle claims my love And I’m always calling the realms above Asking for a stay of leave But they just tell me to believe And trust and have faith in you And Lord knows I don’t know what else to do
It was like someone had vomited Christmas All over Dean Swift Did you know for me you were the greatest gift As you accompanied me in special care We had the chats You were always there Like a big sister, nine years my senior You gave me your sparkly shoes And I threw them in the bin I should’ve just let the love win But everything was suspect I made you a picture A portrait you hung on your wall I sat on the floor In your room down the hall And you said I made you feel normal You made me feel less formal And after a spate of the horrors I asked you were we still friends You said “Always” And no matter what the doctor says I know there’s a reason I’m here And, love, I will always hold you dear And I wonder where you are now I hope you’re good I got the sense you were lost in the wood You said I had a broken wing But, my God, that bird can sing And you can make any forest look free You were the definition of friend to me As Barry looks in the window In the smoking room, I nod at him, though And we vibe up a storm I love how you make a room warm With your subtle stare Can’t control me but I know you care In your finest hue I’m so glad that I met you Like a godsend in that place It didn’t all go to waste As you wave from through the glass I’m still here, if you need to ask So, somewhere on the internet I throw you a smile And hope your Bonny’s kept you company all this while And I guess what I mean is thanks for the love and acceptance You made hell feel like a lesson That I just have to master (Though it didn’t get us out any faster) Here’s my drink, cheers to you I hear the glass clink as you raise yours too Just a message of love And knowing our friendship fit like a glove In our coloured ink Just trust in love to let the heart sink Into where it’s always been The waking was the best part of the dream
I’ve tried And I can’t make it work I know love Isn’t meant to hurt And all of this Bending myself into shapes While the hero of the story Quietly escapes It shows me that The grass ain’t green And you can’t make Heaven Out of a dream All the flimsy material To wrap around Your idiosyncrasies And your distinct sound That I hear From far away But there’s nothing You can say To explain What you’ve ripped I guess you could call it A head trip Coz it really Messed with my mind But it’s okay I’m leaving it behind And you can have An opinion or two Just know that I Will never belong to you
Do you have to hide a part of yourself To be in relationship with And I’m all Sarcastic wit But do you think you could love me For my flaws Instead of the sun The icicle thaws But the feeling gnaws And eats me up for dinner But I’m seeing through the sinner As the light reflects kaleidoscopically There’s a mountain to every valley And I look down from mine At all the colors that make the sun shine And I remember Skipping a beat The moment that I felt the heat As you hold your eyes on me And I lose it all by degree Do you think you could hold my hand And live up to what we had planned But I tore down the picture Wouldn’t live by the stricture Of a voice that commands Is that what it means to love a man I’d rather be alone But I still stare at my phone And the quiet it imbues The door slams as I sing the blues And I know there’s better than this I’m sorry I didn’t think to miss The last line of the song Stop telling me that I’m wrong
The Poetry Book 