Tag: death

Collapse Of All

.Reading time 1 minute.
The war takes my breath away 
That people could still think in that way 
In terms of human animals and sorting knives by their edge
The sharpness of the thoughts in their head
As they strike their enemy down 
But what if their enemy lived in this town 
And they decided to blitz it 
Because they say that violence fits it 
And it deserves decimation 
I think of the train station 
Where I once met him 
And the idea is so grim 
That he would be the men in the verse 
Where they say women and children first 
And I have to leave him on the ship 
Or hands behind his back tied with a zip 
In a grave at Nasser with nothing to identify 
I watch as a mother cry 
And scream over the loss
If this is innocence then why do they pay the cost 
For a button you press 
And guns they fire, you know the rest 
I don’t need to elucidate 
Because I’ve touched the educate 
In Middle Eastern politics 
And the lump in my throat still sticks 
When I hear the students soar 
And demand that the people in charge do more 
To prevent what happens to a child 
Lost somewhere in a wild
Wild world 
Sometimes it’s a blessing to be born a girl

Image Credit: https://pin.it/4idwwqTTr

The Literary Pen

.Reading time 3 minutes.
They all called me the literary pen 
But she said she wouldn’t live it again 
And I felt flattened, raw 
Til I was thirty five in the great thaw
And it’s an age I haven’t reached as of yet 
But it’s also something I cannot forget 
And she was it all to me 
Twenty years since I saw myself future hence
Living with her in the past tense 
And it cuts like a knife 
To know that he and his wife
Are no longer around 
And every breath relays the sound 
Of the emptiness of a chair 
And the person that once sat there 
It’s purple and maroon 
And there was once life in that room 
And saying goodbye nearly killed my soul 
So I just roll 
With the tidal waves 
And the people nothing saves 
Except the angels who come to collect 
The edges of the dreams I have wrecked
I lay on the floor 
Of the bathroom I abhor 
Near the ward in Roscommon Hospital 
But there’s nothing soothing about the cross of it all 
Because I know what’s coming 
And she half raised this young ‘un
And the nightmare is that it’s true
And I know there’s is no keeping you 
Not in the way things were before 
Then I realised something about you, mo stór
My grandmother’s prayers are still protecting me 
Even when it seems life is rejecting me 
I have another fifty years to go to reach the age of depart 
And I thought my whole heart 
Went with you when you go 
Didn’t realise it meant that you stay with me though 
Because the thump thump in my chest 
Still holds the strings of those I love best
And the glass shatters all over the tiles
And I pick them up for miles and miles 
Because there is a coffin across the road 
And I can’t escape the road 
That we all must take 
Til I collapse and wake 
At the wake 
And the person I will not forsake 
Not for all the money or the tea in China 
Is that all it will take to remind ya 
That love lasts forever 
Not a memory of a lost endeavour 
That sank to the bottom of the ocean 
And all this emotion 
Comes in waves 
Like seasons come in days
Slowly, bit by bit 
I come to know who I’m walking with

Cottagecore

.Reading time 2 minutes.
How do I write the polarity 
That is screaming every profanity 
Through me onto the page 
And there is a silent rage
That just quenches every candle that I light 
And I throw another draft into the bin coz it’s shite 
And it doesn’t describe the feeling 
Of the reeling 
When you lose someone 
And that gun 
Is still going off in my head 
Because somewhere someone is dead 
And it’s like I could hear the bang 
Every time the phone rang 
To break the news 
And I’m wearing old shoes 
That haven’t fit since I was eleven 
And someone has just gone to heaven 
And it’s a fine story but I’m not sure I believe it anymore 
Because I”m still facing the red door 
That you left behind and that perfume
Pervades every single room 
I ever walk into 
Everything merged with the scent of you 
And I just cry into my pillow 
Because as every weeping willow 
Knows 
When it shows 
The cavalry will come to save 
And I don’t want to face the brigade
I just want to be alone 
And something cuts me to the bone 
Every time someone says your name 
And I think they play piano because it’s a game 
And they think each note is a chord 
But you can take me at my word
I won’t leave this season behind 
Not until I’ve driven myself out of my mind 
Trying to get back to a time before 
The death of someone I adore

You Proof

.Reading time 3 minutes.
I haven't ever found something that could kill the love in me  
Though I let the men I love go free
Coz I'm not the traditional woman that makes a home 
I'm likely to leave you alone 
To grow into the boots that are you're own 
I'm likely to let you win and realise the game was thrown 
Coz I'm more than what I appear to be 
And I think it's time I let people see 
My heart is full most of the time
And I guess it's a damn crime 
I shut myself away behind doors 
Left the men that my soul adores 
And just coz there's more than one 
Doesn't mean that the sun 
Doesn't shine from the skin 
Of every man who steps into the shoes of Him 
I see Jesus in their eyes 
As though it's the Buddha in disguise 
Some kind of awakened consciousness
Or sentience I cannot discuss 
With anyone, anywhere 
I just want them to know I am there 
Always and forever 
And the flowers you drop will always be there 
As I pick the buttercups in the field 
Feel your breath on the wind and I yield 
To the warmth in my heart 
And I didn't mean for the end to start 
But it's just the way with some of these things
And most girls are after rings 
But I just appreciate Saturn in the sky
And think of how we all die 
Somewhere in the mist 
Some people don't even know they exist 
So surface play they swim the shallow pools 
And they put us in separate schools 
To keep the passion at bay 
But my heart knows the song your music play
Grooving to the tune of Paddy wearing an ear pierce
And the way his eyes would turn fierce
When he'd look at me 
So deep and dark and eternity 
And he'd utter a sharp word when his pride was wounded 
And it was like the ball had rebounded 
Back into my chest 
So I just dropped it like I do it best
But I still think of you sometimes 
I wonder if that is the worst of my crimes 
And I saw you in the Spiral Tree
I waited for you and you looked at me 
And I held the barrier so you could get in 
But I don't know if I would be woman enough for him 
I just know his soul spells the sky in me 
It's your light infinity

The Flawed

.Reading time 1 minute.
All I feel when I look in the mirror
Is the flawed sinner 
And I see all the little points 
That someone somewhere should anoint
With a holy oil 
And the daily toil 
Doesn’t seem to leave a mark 
But my spark 
Seems to be dampened down 
By the grey that rules this town 
And I saw it at seventeen 
That if I didn’t wake this dream 
I would be ground like the grain in the wheel
And there are people who know how to feel 
But I could never abide 
In anything but raw and alive 
And fire in my bones and skin 
I’m everything when I’m with Him 
And when I’m not
It’s as though I forgot 
What I am and see
And that everything is God’s plan beyond history
Or the chasm that pulls my skin 
Until I am one with Him 
And there is no distinction or prose
To separate me from the roads 
That lead to the one place we are 
And all of us are born from a star 
Just dust that has been given breath
That we all seem to forget 
Ever passes through our lungs
And we are not gradated on rungs 
Of a ladder to the sky
There’s something within that does not die
Not now and not ever
And it has been a hopeful endeavour 
To live at peace with what is 
Sealed with a holy kiss

The Unassailable Goneness

.Reading time 3 minutes.
The unassailable goneness when you lose someone you love
And there’s no point looking for them in the sky above
Just an empty black hole, a colossal void
I withdraw into myself and people think that I’m annoyed
When I lash out at everyone (coz they don’t really care)
Then abandon the one boy who thought to dare
To breach my trenches, to traverse no man’s land
I look at him with suspicion but he offers me his hand
And it’s so delectably soft, so inconceivably frail
That I know in that moment that my defences fail
To keep out the love that is pouring through my heart
You know I tried my best, I didn’t mean for it to start
But it did and it does
And now I say that I’m in love
With a mortal form of the eternal being
I keep wiping my eyes, through the crying I am seeing 
As he turns from my gaze into his own reverie
And I contemplate the moment that God let us be
Held for a second like a ball in mid air
For once everything and the next not even there
As life pulls us apart in the guise of what we’re freeing
Now I don’t even know the landscape you are seeing
Through those precious eyes and lashes to frame
Though time and space expand I still feel the same
As I ever did, now then and before
In this world of passing things I found something I adore
Something that endures as my riverbed soul
Can’t separate the distance that it would take to roll
And crash a wave upon a shore like I know it will be
I wonder who’ll die first, will it be you or me
Because we are not vampires, we don’t get a thousand years
And I’ve been building up the pressure but the dam bursts with tears
And you’re with another woman but that is not the reason
It’s the simple fact that all things have a season
As our leaves bloom and grow then turn rusty red 
I thought of you like a hero now I think of you in bed
And all the dials turn on the sun of our day
Please don’t make it hurt when you go away

Image Credit:https://pin.it/3Wn3U3nxl

Each Grain Of Sand

.Reading time 1 minute.
It’s a nightmare we’re all dreaming
And somewhere the children are screaming
And it aches in my heart and it pulls at my soul
Something crushes the begging bowl
And flattens the land
The hills and valleys that used to understand 
All the movement and all the sighs
I watch a brother break as his sibling dies
And his wails of pain seem all to familiar to me
Because I know the crushing weight of the sea
As it pummels the shore 
What is left to adore
In this broken world
And if I am just a girl
How do I effect change
But I watch the stars rearrange
Every season in the sky
As I ask God why
He could allow such things
And if the spirit has wings
Does it fly away from here
When it’s separated from the ones we hold dear
In a man made disaster
And there is no plaster
Than can fix bullet holes 
And we’re all just supposed to play our roles
In this great big cosmic machine
And I thank God that it is just a dream
As I rouse to wake
The people that die for humanity’s sake 
I feel something break
And go free in me
Are we doomed to repeat history
Or can we be the change we want to see
If there’s a man in the mirror it starts with me

Image Credit: https://pin.it/4l3k8ocAf

Broken Arrows

.Reading time 1 minute.
She uses broken arrows to fire at me 
Then says that she sets me free 
But her archery is not second place
And she knows how to deface 
A wall with her spray paint eyes 
And bulletproof disguise
And we’ll never be what we were 
Because you cracked the crisp leaf beside her 
And stabbed me in the front (only enemies stab you in the back)
Still though your love don’t mean jack 
Not now, not anymore
And I’ll always have affection for you, mo stór
But our two by two is now shattered glass 
Because you thought he just wanted ass 
And so you sought to protect
Me from being a reject
But in seeing me in the lowest terms
I set fire to the hay and it burns 
Up all the crackling grass
And she said that this too shall pass
But she’s not the one who has to live through the story 
I know she’ll just ignore me 
If I try to press my case
So I fall silent in the land gone to waste
And spill it all out onto a page
All my bubbling pain and held back rage 
When she’s in the room 
I don’t know, you echo the bells of doom 

Image Credit: https://pin.it/189Oq6Nem

Hollow

.Reading time 1 minute.
I scream but it doesn’t bring her back 
And sometimes all you can think about is what you lack 
And I saw her at fifteen washing the dishes
And I know that in spite of all of our hugs and kisses
I will have to say goodbye to her
And does that mean what we were 
Will cease to exist 
And I have to let the mourn
Become something new that’s born
Because they say to move on 
But there’s a space where you’re gone
And nothing will ever be the same again 
I could fall into the men 
I crave and creep towards 
But at the end of the day its only words 
When what you love will surely die 
No matter how you try and try
And insidious is the despair 
When you realise that they’re not there 
Anymore
And the open door 
Where it was always closed coz we were sitting at the fire
And I tire 
Of the baseless platitudes 
I just remember the charisma you exude
And how now we stand at a cold grave
For nothing can save
Anyone of us from our fate 
Should I have went on that first date

Image Credit: https://pin.it/2RcunkNZQ

The Wake

.Reading time 2 minutes.
It’s an Irish tradition 
But it feels like ammunition 
Firing into my soul 
Oh, what it takes to be whole
When a person is ripped from this earth
And people just say, I’m sorry that it hurt 
As I look at the body in the coffin 
And it wasn’t for a lack of lovin’
That it’s in there 
All the people who care
Are seated in a square
Around the walls
A four cornered room and we walk down the halls
Lined up in black 
And the slack 
That is cut like a new shirt 
Won’t still the breath that we skirt
“She looks the same”
Or “He looks peaceful” and his name
Is met by an inflection of the head
The horror of when someone is dead 
And there’s nothing you can do to get them back
I remember when they carried him out and lack
The ability to hold the memory in equanimity
Coz it’s the last time I’ll ever see
Him in that way
What do they say?
This too shall pass
But I don’t want it to if the love don’t last
Though the memory is like a baseball bat
And people wonder what am I at
Haunting the halls
I say it wouldn’t be this way if the walls
Would just fall down
But I drown 
In the ocean I open up
In the name of love 
And tears they pour like a saltwater sea
Down my cheeks and cut a valley through me
Like a glacier that moved the ground
To make Kilglass lake and the sound 
Of the drumlin belt echoing calls
Across the marsh and the footballs
That just hang in the sky
Why did my grandfather have to die? 

Image Credit: https://pin.it/3WrNKckbu

Letting Love, Letting Go

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Death stalks even the most fertile of land
I would go as far as to say you can only understand
Life if you’ve had a little loss
Not just make up and candy floss
To keep yourself looking young 
And your song is sung 
When you’re eight one 
And looking in the mirror
That girl you once were, do you hear her
“She was a good age”, that’s what they say
But I still blame God for taking you away
Just a little too soon
And I’m in the room
And I’m crying, screaming
And if I am only dreaming 
Then why does it hurt so much
Why does it feel that all the love
I’ve ever had has departed 
No second chances, only heavy hearted
Ways and means
And moonbeams
Sing to me of you
Something about white light and what it can do
To free a soul 
I know you were old 
And I was twenty nine 
And I should be fine
But I’m not
So I take the last shot
That has ever been fired
And I only fall asleep when I’m tired 
From all the crying and wailing against 
What God whispers to me is heaven sent
And she never had to experience covid or crisis 
Had angels around her when she shut her eyelids
And it’s selfish but the pain 
Is the only thing that remain 
In me for you 
Because all the blue
Of the sky has absorbed you in 
And maybe now you are with him 
Somewhere in the serene 
And seventeen 
Is come again 
When you lose someone, a really good friend
But you find yourself among the debris
And if anyone is looking for me
You should let them know 
That I always follow where you go 
And into the mystic, into the free
I’m still here but something has left me
Like a bomb shattered house that loses its frame 
Like a sage who goes by a different name 
Like the winter that bursts into spring
Like waking up to everything 

Image Credit: https://pin.it/5ZKJynyEc

The Ancient War

.Reading time 3 minutes.
There’s a dead in her eyes
That nothing can disguise 
But it always lit up when she looked at me
Didn’t think that I would ever be
The reason why the curtains close
As she follows me down the road
To nowhereland
And it’s all sand 
That just gathers at my feet
An hourglass when we meet
Somewhere in between
And if it’s all a dream 
Then why are we crying 
Over the people that are dying 
Left right and centre
And so I enter 
The hallowed halls
Of the people who can walk through walls 
And the longing calls
Me to let go of the line
That had me doing hard time
In a crater not of my making 
And all the people that I’m forsaking 
When I take that pill 
And it will kill
If I keep on keeping on 
So I have to get gone 
And on the road
Her carriage slowed
Just to take a look at me
And she never sees the free 
I’ve come to be 
Only ever the apparent chains 
The sunlight reflects upon when it rains
And who gains
When everything is lost
Don’t we all just pay the cost
For the brutal tide
That means we are alive
Because we can feel 
Everything that’s real 
And vital and true 
And just because the colour blue 
Is sad and lonely
Doesn’t mean you can’t phone me 
Anytime you want 
I change the font
To match my mood
Meanwhile you just sit and brood
Over a perceived slight 
But you are alright
Aren’t you, aren’t you
I daren’t ask lest it be true 
That the fields are green far past the slide
Of what it means to be alive
And they click go on the PowerPoint 
And I never want to leave the oint-
Ment powder red 
What goes on inside a person’s head
Is the least of what they are 
I look up and see that star 
Shining over my crucifixion 
My errant ways and my eviction 
From the stable then 
I just don’t want to go through that again 
Not for even the best of men 
So I take what they offer 
And the coffer
Is full 
But my skin’s as thin as cotton wool 
They use to mask 
Everything they cannot ask 
Me now the ship has sailed 
The chain linked fence and I impaled 
Over the least of crimes
My only solace in these rhymes
That never lead to the sea
What is it that you are asking of me 
Once more, arís
Some Celtic chieftain once had a feast
But she wasn’t invited 
And so the war ignited 
The gunpowder flame 
That only ever lands upon a name  

Image Credit: https://pin.it/6Yc2okL4g

Machine Gun Eyes

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Dead bodies and machine gun eyes
I think they believe the lies
That they are fed
And when they lie in bed
They must stop the truth from reaching them 
And life must be teaching them 
How to bear the weight they’ve been gifted
I sweat in my jumper that’s been thrifted
From some nearby store
And I just wanted to change it more 
But how do you compete with belief
And you just feel relief 
When it falls away from you 
It doesn’t matter if you don’t know what to do
What matters is that you’re wiling to be led
Not blind opposition to what’s being said 
And I watch Ben Gvir shout his refrain 
Does he even know the pain 
He’s in and so inflicts 
They say that some day wars will be fought with sticks
After we’ve destroyed ourselves
Why do you put them in cells
If they are brother and sister tide
Please leave the Palestinians alive
You’ve done enough
And, God knows, it wasn’t out of love
It was to feed that old demon 
That’s always dreaming 
He will rule the world 
And what does it matter what says this girl 
Who is just a child of Irish rain 
And our own kind of particular pain 
As we live on the land
Our ancestors once couldn’t understand
As it was stolen from beneath them 
Until someone bequeath them 
Their own patch of ground 
And do you hear the sound
Of the child cry
Why must I be the one to let her die? 

Image Credit: https://pin.it/2KafiEKwG

Simple As That

.Reading time 1 minute.
Meeting Joe Black was the end of my life
The birth of the Son and the last of the wife
That had ever been in my veins
I dried my eyes on sleeves that are tear stained 
And he looked so soft and serene 
Til he tore through my dream 
With a knife and an attitude 
Coz he was a really cool dude 
And he had a point to prove
He could never lose 
To a girl 
Coz the world 
Only ever appreciates 
A woman for who she dates 
And she’s chosen you
And now you don’t know what to do 
So you just set a fire
And I tire
Of this leadránach 
So I leave you for the shock
Of your life 
I won’t say it twice
As I give you every chance
To ask me to the dance
And when you don’t 
Well I won’t 
Stick around
To be the sound
You love to hear
But only when no one else is near 
And you can hide
Behind the facade you hate inside 
Because all you ever do 
Is hop scotch between the lines that you want to 
Really cross
But all is not lost 
Maybe someday your light
Will meet it’s own Jean White

Image Credit: https://pin.it/5ySECmd84

The End In The Beginning

.Reading time 1 minute.
Getting old, I’m thirty three
And people no longer say my whole life’s in front of me
And my friend died when I was seventeen 
And since then the dream 
Has had no appeal 
Because it simply is not real
As the canvas just gets torn 
Bodies fail and they get worn 
And I have to say goodbye
To everyone when they die
But somehow the veil fell 
And all the people who called me unwell
Are tracking my shoes
Wondering why singing the blues
Sounds so damn good to the sea
As if it’s pulsing to the beat of me 
In the winter of my life
And I should be a wife 
To that man
But I don’t think I can 
Because I don’t want to bear child 
One reason is I want to stay wild
The other is that I can’t leave
Them to the world that I believe
Is only born to be taken away
And even if they’re a baby they cannot stay
Here forever
And I would never 
Want to do that to someone 
Pluck them from security to the drug of done
Counting down the days til they lose
The power of having someone to choose 
To be a lover
And is it just another 
Way of avoiding what’s now
I look at myself and I allow
The crippled and broken
To have the words that I’ve never spoken 
Into the air 
It all was lost til He was there

Image Credit: https://pin.it/7mqYKcrPE

In The Land Where Death Is Real

.Reading time 3 minutes.
In the land where death is real
People lie and people steal 
People cheat and people thieve 
But it’s all coz they believe
In a sudden end and in separation
It is reinforced by years of education
Not only in the school
But by social rule 
Where they must obey
Everything their elders say
Only to grow up to be
A repetition endlessly
Instead of creative and new
And everything they swore they would do
When they were five years old 
No one has to be told
To be pilot, to be king
To be bird upon the wing
But you have to be sold 
On being bad, on being “bold” 
And every child knows
The phrase that everything goes 
The way it should be 
I love eternity
As it presents myself 
Amidst “mental health” 
Challenges, they say I’m crazy
But you know it doesn’t phase me 
When I’m twenty eight and in Dean Swift
But the captivity was a gift 
As they try to sit me down 
And say that I will drown 
In all that is unwell
It’s a byword for hell
But I just don’t buy
Everything they try
To sell 
It’s a secret I never tell
But I’m soaring high
Something can never die
And I will go to the lowest low
If it means that someone else’s dreams
Will wake before they shake 
By the bones and skin
It’s not foolhardy to trust in Him 
He who moves the sky into spacious understanding 
He who shows the way without ever demanding 
That you should follow suit 
Oh, the world that we pollute 
With our constant pain
That falls as acid rain 
Or bombs upon the children 
Instead of heartfulness to fill them 
With hope and with pride
And gratitude that they’re alive
I’m sorry to say
That going the wrong way
Means you must repent 
And all things are heaven sent 
Until you realise 
That every time someone cries 
It’s an echo of the sound 
That means God is around 
To show you where the deep 
Is something you can keep 
I didn’t know that I 
Was blessed until my
Whole world was shaken 
But just like in a dream I waken 
And suddenly realise 
That nobody dies
Not in the way we think 
But you don’t know water until you drink 
From that holy font
It is everything I want
And everything I never knew to ask 
I just dropped the mask 
And all was revealed
I guess you could say that I was healed

Image Credit: https://pin.it/2Xccj7l86

Ripped From His Mother’s Arms

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I watch the Palestinian children die
And why do I get to cry
When their eyes are dry 
And a parent weeps over the corpse 
While soldiers laugh with no remorse 
And the commanders drop another bomb
Where has our humanity gone 
Do we not see ourselves in the other 
See our sister and brother 
In every battered storm front of war 
And I just look at her
And see the death that I know
The pain life has visited upon me slow
That must be experienced by the masses
Or as they’re designated - the lower classes
While I sit and sup my tea
Knowing full well that it could be me 
If I lived a hundred and eighty years ago 
When the British starved us slow 
To death 
And there is a memory that does not forget
It’s held like generational pain 
And I resonate with the acid rain 
That falls from white phosphorus plumes
Into lungs and living rooms
And burns into skin and sears 
People with images of those they hold dear 
Suffering and crucified
In every single one who’s died
Is the hidden heat 
Of the love that makes my heart beat 
And no claims of anti-semetic
Can make me subscribe to the rhetoric 
That justify the claims of war
When the dust settles what will all this be for 
And will we survive another spin of the wheel 
That makes us deny what we feel 
So we are capable of 
The worst of what I’ve listed above 

Image Credit: https://pin.it/9VxLQNC2o

Losing The Love Of My Life

.Reading time 2 minutes.
What is the call of New York
And why is there a fork 
In the road and on the table 
And I am not able 
To leave it all behind 
Even if I must go out of my mind
Or be labelled as such 
Because I love you so much 
And I couldn’t be there when you died
Because the man asked me how I am and I cried
So I got locked up in St. Pat’s again 
And it may be the will of men
To contain what they don’t understand 
But I look at you and you just say “it’s grand, 
I won’t leave you a grá mo chroí”
And even though my broken knee
Falls to the floor
I know there’s more
Than just screaming into the air
“She’s not there, she’s not there”
And it was all I could do not to hit my head off the wall
And they console me but I fall 
Into their lap and rebel against the constraint
Of being okay with the colour she paint
Because everyone has their own way
But I must do what she say
If I’m not to be medicated
And I may be educated 
But it has been the work of my life
To make sure I don’t become a wife
And go down with the ship 
Or the forests that they equip 
With cutting trees
And the birds and the bees 
Buzz around my head
But I would give it all up just to lay in bed
And mourn 
And look forlorn 
Because all that shattered glass
Never got me an A in class
It only ever drew blood
Now I’m standing in the wood
Trying to catch the soul that escape 
And the red cape 
Couldn’t stop the passage of time 
And my only crime 
Was trying to pause the air
Now I look at your chair and you’re not there

Image Credit: https://pin.it/2Fl2VHdmT

Indeed, By The Sink

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I dreamed about you last night
You were as fragile as a butterfly
And it was like in real life
I just had to watch you die 
And yet you do not leave me here
You kiss me like you always did, dear 
On my forehead or on my cheek 
And when I used to feel weak 
I would run to your side
I would hide 
And then let you find me 
And you didn’t mind me 
Being a little bit strange
And all the peace rearrange
To atoms that say that you are gone 
But your song
Will have life as long as I am breathing 
You were always something I was needing 
As I would lie into you
And at fifteen I watched you
Washing the dishes at the sink 
And all I could do was think 
Of what would happen the day you died 
If I would break like waves of tears I cried 
And I insulated myself 
Under the veil of mental health
Because I can’t shatter again
And there are legions of men 
Who would take my hand 
And make me “understand”
What true love means
But it’s insubstantial as the stuff of dreams 
And you are wholly really
And even though you’ve left I still feel 
You in my veins and blood
Like when I was lying in the wood
And I felt the soul of the trees
Kiss me when I’m on my knees
And I know that your prayers save me 
Even when I cave, we 
Will always be a two by two 
And it’s not up to someone forgetting you 
It’s something that you always are
You are not on some far distant star
You are in my heart
And in this instant we are not apart 

Image Credit: https://pin.it/3WQrgd9O5

Emotionality

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I get slated for being emotional and sincere
There was that time I told you I hold you dear
And you attacked and ripped my hands
Away from your paper thin heart and the sands
Flow out of your hourglass
As you try to make a thing last
That never will 
Because time will kill
The bodies that you preserve
And the girl that you serve
Must one day kiss you for the last time
And my only crime 
Was knowing there will come a day
When one or the other of us will go away
And I can’t speak forever when I see the horizon
And I don’t know what you have your eyes on
As you stare into space
Meanwhile I just stare at your face
Looking at the grass
And time will pass
But something stays the same 
There is a love that will not lay the blame 
Not even when your dripping venom
Tries to make an enemy 
Of me
Then return to eternity
Where it can fester its wound 
I saw it all and the doom 
Ate me up from the middle 
And the best part of me may be hidden
But you can find it if you look 
You don’t have to do anything by the book 
You swear by
And I hear you cry 
In my dreams
How does a man come apart at the seams 
When you just tell him the truth
That you idolise our youth
And that time will also be the proof
Of what cannot be destroyed
We are not just girls and boys
We are immortal souls
Water though the wave rolls
And breaks onto the land 
I wonder if I take your hand 
Would you be a friend 
Coz true love will never end 

Image Credit: https://pin.it/6Sifj3m1C

The Tears That Flow

.Reading time 2 minutes.
The tears that flow
It’s been nearly twenty years since you let go
And people tell me to move on
But how do I ignore the space where you’re gone
A beacon of love and trust
And I know they just aren’t fussed
Coz to lose a grandmother is par for the course
Something common, like weddings and divorce
But no one told me what it would be like to have you ripped
From the fortress I had equipped 
With everything I had
So nothing bad 
Could happen 
And you were just napping
In the kitchen when Rocky lay down by the settee 
And I had had fourteen years when you showered love on me 
And I know I am closer to the grave
Than the point that could save 
You from the monsters that eat your soul 
But somehow I know that Jesus made you whole 
And the cancer spreads
I’m crying in bed
But there’s nothing I can do 
I can’t heal you
At least not yet 
But there’s something I will never forget
Like when you told me good things come to those who wait
And I trudge through the hate
Coz I know your advice is true
And there was wisdom that had its home in you
And you made rhubarb tart for us all
I take a place by the wall
But you wink at me 
And save the biggest piece and for free
You offer me the whole damn world
I’ll always be your girl 

Image Credit: https://pin.it/1ogR5Lzxc

Akk & S

.Reading time 1 minute.
I just wanna die with you
It would be perfect poetry
Romeo and Juliet and their symmetry
As forces try to pull us apart
But they can’t kill what is all heart
And tomorrow is a day no one can promise
But you looked in my eyes and you were honest
As you spilled truth like rain
And I just wanna stand in the waterfall again
As it brushes my skin
I was never at home til I met him
And suddenly the sky
Turns and I must watch my lover die 
On the battlefield 
But the victory goes to the one who yield
But for all the weight of my storm
I could only ever keep you warm 
For a certain length of time 
And now all I’ve left of you
Is something made of us two
Growing under my skin 
I could never replace him 
With someone new
I just wanted you 
To know the truth 
The prisoner and her youth

Image Credit: https://pin.it/1mDfdThZF

The Chase

.Reading time 1 minute.
There is the fear that death could separate us
And that I have to rush to you
To profess my love
Til above
Reaches in its hand 
And takes away my only man
The only one I’ve ever sought
To give myself to beyond the taught
And you are serene and beautiful 
But your skin’s as thin as cotton wool
And the people are all saying I’m crazy
But it doesn’t faze me
I just take a step back
And their affection feels like an attack
On summer wine
As they take my time
And make it theirs 
Hands up if anyone cares 
I know they will say they’ve got the best of intentions
It’s just that they never mention
You, anymore
And I wonder if that closed door
Has slammed shut
If only I could get out of this aperture of slut
As they all seek to cling
Coz, God knows, they’d hold onto anything 
And I open out my palm
As the bell rings an alarm 
In the hall of calling like it is
And is it a surprise that I’m still his
In spite of the battleship
That is equipped 
Somewhere along the shore
To hammer at my door
Like a man knocking on my breath
But it hasn’t opened to him yet

Image Credit: https://pin.it/RTMsmGz1j

Crippling Instability

.Reading time 1 minute.
There is crippling instability at my core
I try to balance what I adore
On the scales 
But a part of me rails
And tries to decide
That I no longer want to be alive
If it means that I’m not with her
Always wondering what we were
And she hates me now but I feel her breath
Whispering “do not forget” 
All that we are
And she says I am her star
No black hole
But the measure of her soul 
And she calls to me 
Across the sea
Of forever in between
Am I crazy or is this a dream
I just cannot wake from
All I love will someday be gone
And ripped to shreds
This is what I think of when I lay in bed

The Pacific Emotion

.Reading time 2 minutes.
The wrench I try not to feel
Coz it means I’m mentally ill if I cannot deal
With the wave that races to the shore
And it crushes everything I adore
And all are sandcastles, all are water 
I’m just a lost, lonely granddaughter 
Who may never see you again 
And you were the best of men 
Though something whispers to me that you are here
Closer than close and ever near
And I look for it in their eyes
But all I ever see is the disguise 
That hides you from me
They equate eternity
With what they can know 
With their mind, so 
I pull away
Because I know you cannot stay
Not here, not with me
You are free
And I unlock the chains 
That keep you incumbent to the rain 
And all the aching that I feel 
Is the only thing that is real
As I run to St. Pat’s 
And they dutifully hit me with baseball bats
Til I can’t feel the grief
They must replace the belief 
With a shallow kind of pain
The kind that has people squint with strain 
And say, sure isn’t that the way
But I return to the bay
As it opens out onto the Pacific 
And I have to say it’s fuckin’ terrific
And lays all my shreds bare
Til there’s nothing left to tear
And my dress may be ruined 
But I think God knows what He’s doing 
When he says to me 
I will take away the temporary 
So you can know the permanent 
How could hell be heaven sent? 

Image Credit: https://pin.it/oXz4MfZ0t

I Don’t Know Where To Start

.Reading time 1 minute.
She’s buried under the weight of timber
And she calls me a sinner
For what she cannot see
That it has devastated me 
And he looks at me that way
And there’s so much I want to say
But I can’t and now it’s never
That’s the hard part of forever
It doesn’t let go
And so 
I let the waves rise up 
To overflow the cup 
Of water I’ve been drinking 
They say that it’s overthinking 
But somehow it feels more real 
And it’s just that she cannot deal
With her own grief she fires at dart at me
And I don’t have the heart to let it be
I storm up a flame and turn away
Go deaf to everything she say
Coz it’s all a repetition 
Of something she learned in some edition 
Of something she read 
And I never said 
What I meant 
But when I sent 
That letter true
I thought it would deliver to you
But it must have missed the mark 
Now I’m just swinging swords in the dark 
And hoping to connect 
With a dream I seem to have wrecked
With my steady brutality
Oh, the weight of what’s been placed on me
Is a blessing true
And all of this because I lost you

Image Credit: https://pin.it/70DkYviwq

The Sadness That Embraces

.Reading time 1 minute.
The inner child weeps
And she never sleeps
For all the people she loves
Will one day be above
Or at least that’s what they say
I don’t know if it is that way
But I’ve always felt the wrench
Felt the knot in my gut clench
As it tries to clasp
What it knows can never last
Not in a hundred million suns
Not in finding the sacred one
Because the heat must die
To find the reason that you try
To reach the sky
And I
Just find tears
Amidst all the years
And cling to the frame
The door that bears my name
But it can’t weather the storm 
Of the heart that beats me warm 
In the summer free
I feel death stalking me 
And in the winter fine
I feel that it is time
To let the leaves go
Let the winds blow
Let the waters flow
And find that there is no separation, you know

Image Credit: https://pin.it/3xswioEV7

The Veins Of Truth

.Reading time 3 minutes.
The veins of truth pour the blood through me
It’s back to my heart and it sets me free
And my skin may be purple, blue
But it’s not because of you 
I just wanted you to know
That it was long before we met I wanted to let go
And it was in response to 
A girl, I change the font to blue
To represent those days 
Because she cut in me in so many ways
By lines, by degrees 
Then with a sword when I was on my knees
And my grandmother had just passed
And I’m sitting in class
When she has just let me know 
That she can’t “relate” to the snow
That’s falling from my sky
And suddenly I want to die 
And the breaths I draw in are sucked not in the flow
And nobody seems to know 
It’s like steel in my blood to enter the school
And I used to keep every single rule
But it never did a thing to keep me from the deep end of the pool
And I’m just standing saying a prayer
Because we’re Catholic and the teacher is there
Til, suddenly, dizzy, I lose consciousness
And the person I used to address
As myself
Has been lost in the wealth 
Of light pouring from the sky
And though no one says hi
To me anymore
I don’t care coz the open door
Has just let me in 
And I didn’t need to win
The war she fought with tooth and nail 
The success was in the fail 
And I just let her go
To torment someone else slow 
I wonder will she change 
But I will always be the kind of strange
That sees the city in each pair of eyes
And I hope she never cries
But her docking port will not be here
She can call on the God that is ever near 
And see if he can rescue 
Her soul from what threatens you
I know I’m by the shore 
Waiting for the man I adore 
To finally swim to land
He does and I take his hand
Like it is precious ore
I am not who I was before 
But I can be all that I am 
If that’s okay with you, man

Run To The States

.Reading time 1 minute.
Run to the states
And they’re asking who it is she dates
And I’m so focused on 
People being gone 
That I can’t see them when they are here
And, Lord knows, I hold them dear
But I just cannot contort into shapes
The air in my lungs escapes
As I try to be the solid stance
Then a beautiful boy asks me to dance
And I say no because he wants a kiss
And I know I would miss
If I ever thought to try
I just wonder what will happen when we all die
And western society is obsessed with youth
It always seemed a little uncouth
At a three day wake
You’d swear the dead would make the ground quake 
And join in the festivity
All joking aside they are still with me
I feel my grandmother’s breath against my cheek 
And when I feel weak 
I know her prayers save my life
I don’t think she knew the strife
I walked through when she was alive
But I let the veil fall and our love survive
The transition out of form 
And she may not have been warm 
When she lay so still 
But her spirit never will 
Grow cold as the grave
She is the power that save
Me from my own mistakes 
I let her help and the fever breaks 

Image Credit: https://pin.it/Zgd7zB6wA

Life Is A Tremulous Thing

.Reading time 3 minutes.
Life is a tremulous thing 
And a bird with only one wing 
Flies in a circle if she flies at all
I just remember running into the hall
And screaming bloody blue murder 
As I woke up from a sleep 
I had been held in the bed
By a weight I could not keep
And they all held like snooker balls
Atoms of air until they all fall
And weigh on me like turf
But I am released and I surf
The wave out of the room 
Imagine arms catching me with the sound of doom 
And my parents come to me in a flash
And I’m crying, trembling and I can’t put the genie back
In the bottle now that he’s been set free
Every time the phone rings my heart beats against the tree
I use to hold myself together 
Because the weather
Was unpredictable and strange
And no matter how stable it would always change 
As I lose a grandmother to the going away
And I must not cry because she could not stay 
But my ears are pulsing with the noise 
And the din rattles bones like they are play toys
As I always expect the next mute surrender
I gave in to always remember
The torture of losing love to the emptiness
Now the darkness starts to dress
Me in its own clothes and cloak 
Everything around me in the bespoke 
Am I just reading the dial 
When people look at me I fake a smile
So they don’t look to hard
And see the facade behind the business card
I hand out to everyone who wants to get in touch
And you’d never know I love you so much 
When I just stare into your soul 
Every wave is beautiful but they all roll
Into the one 
And every man is somebody’s son 
And deserves respect and compassion
Even when he sings about an assassin 
That lives in his heart
She aimed true though and took the part
He had been protecting out of the dark 
And I bet he was the better mark
In the end
I’d like to think she knows I’m a friend 
But all bullets find their way home
I guess that’s why she’s complete and I am alone 
With my own front facing tremor 
I don’t think I’d want to be on the good ship Endeavour 
Even if I was to stake a claim
And somehow make a name
For myself in the western based media 
But its not all what they feed to ya
As babies cry for mother they’ll never see 
I just don’t want that to ever be me

Image Credit: https://pin.it/560rL1i95

A War Of Wills

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Me and Power had a war of wills 
And he flexed his skills 
In my direction 
But my selection 
Is to reside where I’ve always been 
And sit in the seat of a goddess or queen 
Somewhere in the avenue of soul 
I wander the grounds and I just roll
With the wave they want to crash
I’ve had better nights on the lash 
As he forces a pill into my hand 
Like he could inopportune the ocean with sand 
And he draws waifs on the beach
And comes to teach 
Me about the dragons that breathe fire
On the weak and never tire 
To seek out souls to ravage and dement 
He doesn’t realise I never went 
Away but to come again 
And I am not afraid of men 
Or of beasts that gnaw
What’s trembling me is the great thaw
As it steals aspects of my glacier 
I am the North Pole and I need ya 
To stem the flow of climate change
But I feel the days get strange 
As I see the ferocious that eats her 
And I know it wants to delete her
And she senses it too 
She’s not mad, she’s just looking into
The abyss and it’s looking back 
I look at the jenga I stack
And I know this house is gonna fall
And I’m not up for playing hard ball
With someone who thinks he knows
Why the woman is on the road 
I just flash him a glance
I think he knows there’s no second chance 

Image Credit: https://pin.it/3IF8np5di

Young And Foolish

.Reading time 2 minutes.
It’s as though as I’ve been infantilised 
So that I can become human in their eyes
And it’s not like me at all
It doesn’t fit the brick wall
That was erected 
In the space her love deflected
Like it was a poison drink 
And I feel myself begin to sink 
In the grand abyss
And my old self is something that I miss
When young and seventeen 
I could manage the dream 
Just fine
Til calamity became mine
As his darkness spread a sea
Over the blanket that had become of me
Like clouds keeping the earth warm 
Eventually the break into a storm 
That fosters the people in their solemn grin 
And they say that sex is sin 
But they all do it anyway 
So I push that characterisation away
Because if we go by generations past
The pain will everlast 
Into the future
And no suture 
Can heal the gauzy wound 
I watched the winds of doom 
Close in around that sea 
And they call it sacred warfare and indignity 
Seems to be the order of the day 
But I do not look away 
From the images that perforate 
The screen that masks the dark of hate 
That propels people into motion 
And suddenly I am floating 
Above it all 
And the call 
Pummels my door
So I answer it, and what’s more
I let it take me somewhere new
I’m giving it up for them and I’m giving it up for you

Image Credit: https://pin.it/6mdBqCtNG

The Feast That Keeps Alive

.Reading time 2 minutes.
There is a feast that keeps alive
And there were times I didn’t want to survive 
The aching pull of forever
As it dragged me to another endeavour
Far across the sea
And New York just wasn’t me 
When I found myself on its streets 
But there is no one that it meets
On a level playing field 
So I follow the wind and I yield 
On Flatbush avenue 
I’d never felt so black and blue
Walking towards the Brooklyn Bridge
Like it was Hacksaw Ridge 
And the forest had enclosed 
Me and the path I chose
It was dark and serene 
And something screamed to wake the dream 
Into the boundlessness of true life
I will never be a wife
Over the love of you 
But I will be your One if you want me to
He just sighs and looks away
And there is nothing left to say
On the phone to keep him there
And I hear him swear 
Silently under his breath
His monotone sings of resentment and regret 
And it blisters my skin like a poison chalice 
It’s almost like I can sense the malice 
That brews underneath
And someone calls me the Messiah on the street 
And I wonder if I emanate that charm 
Or if I should ring the alarm 
That keeps me safe from harm
They call it medication 
I call it the train station 
That docks opposite ports
And there is a divorce 
Somewhere in our history 
But it doesn’t envelop the mystery
That you always are
I look up and you’re my North Star

One Here

.Reading time 1 minute.
I know that he and I 
Will always be one here, we will never die
Like all bodies are destined to
But I found heaven in you 
And it’s something that cannot be taken away
Not even when comes the day 
That the great forgive must let us go
As we travel into mists we do not know 
But I was bought and sold
The moment I saw solid gold 
Shine from his eyes 
And I know though he tries
He cannot separate
Me from the place where we equate
Everything we ever were
To the trust he found in her
And in us 
It’s not just lust 
It is a spiralling spark
That shines even brighter in the dark 
So much so that I wish for my old days
When I was lost in so many ways 
And the balance I’ve found
And the solid ground 
Only distances the despair 
I loved because you were there

Exasperation

.Reading time 3 minutes.

I was fourteen and lost in the dream 
Til she rendered it everything it had never been
And a lightning crack struck the stone 
To tell me I was never alone
Not in my darkest day
You know the one I wanted to make go away
In the summer as I watched her die
Slowly and I couldn’t cry
Coz a tear might mean I would miss a moment 
With her and wouldn’t own it 
There was that morning I came and had breakfast with you 
Cornflakes with warm milk and you
Put the heater on under my feet 
So that I might meet a warmer day
Why did you have to go away
I ask myself that all the time 
And almost twenty years line
The road that took you from me 
Do you remember that day we 
Almost had a game of cards 
But someone came in and something hard
I had to accept
Was that I would have to regret 
The time we almost played rummy on the settee 
I know you were doing it for me 
And you ask for ice cream and jelly
Just days before you die and my belly
Still aches for your rhubarb tart 
The one you make like a work of art 
As you coat each piece in sugar and give some to me
Say good things come to those who wait and my heart is set free
From some imaginary chains 
It’s been nothing but torrential rains 
Since 2004
I keep thinking you’ll walk in the door 
Like that time up in UCD 
For a moment I could swear that we
Are both in the same room 
Or the student union shop if I’m singing in tune
But it passes almost as soon as it comes 
And I grasp again at when I was young 
And I was sitting on your knee 
I know you’ve been set free
It’s just I know you’d never leave me 
So this Heaven you speak of has gotta be
Nearer than close, than intimacy 
Could it be that you are One with me
Like the Buddhists describe
That you are really still alive 
Just in another dimension 
And the veil fell without mention 
Of the aforementioned fact 
The ones you’ve lost you can get back 
If you just trust the bough to break 
God puts you there for your own sake

Photo Credit: https://pin.it/5rQRlqFzc

The Thread Unwinds

.Reading time 1 minute.
The thread unwinds
And are we all just out of our minds
Running blind 
Into the wind
And the boy grinned
At me like it was all okay
And somehow it was with him that day
Will I find my way back to see
The moment of eternity
That held itself out in his eyes
Deep blue opals that disguise
The soul that’s looking through
I would love to be with you
In any kind of way
No broken heart to mend today 
Just ashen earth clay pots
And calling the kettle what I’m not 
In the morning 
The sea was storming 
Until that deathly calm
It should have rang some kind of alarm
But it didn’t, I just gazed
Into a man I would have saved
If I had known how 
Now I just allow
You to breach the barrier 
And I know you wear the weather with her
I can see it through the grain
As it’s all coming down as rain 
In a January morning 
In the winter of 2013
And the dream 
Is less like shattered glass
And more like Gandalf and “You Shall Not Pass” 
But the goblins from the grave
Seem to haunt all of my days
In so many ways 
As I look into the sky
And wonder when you too will die

From The Green Green Grass Of Home

.Reading time 1 minute.
From the green, green grass of home
Leave them alone 
Don’t drop the rubble on limbs
Meanwhile the soldier grins
Despite his terror 
And the error 
Of all that has come to pass 
Is that somehow it cannot last 
In spite of all the flying swords
And the politicians with words
Seek to distance the fold
From the aforementioned fields of gold
And it’s like a story that has always been told
That somewhere in the midnight
It all breaks into daylight
But it takes some time to show
And I hold on as he’s letting go
And my tears are like a wave to crash
On a shore where my grief will smash
Everything to pieces 
Why is it that everything deceases 
And moves away from where it’s been 
If life is a dream
Then does it wake
When the earth quake 
Will all that is not true
I lay my head into you

The Crash And The Bang

.Reading time 3 minutes.
There was a crash and a bang
And then the phone rang
To say that he had died
And I screamed out and cried
And the memory of it sings
Like a bullet in my back and things
Were never the same after that 
Because I can’t get his light back
As it leaves his shape
I watch the soul escape
The body I thought I knew
And what if I never see you
Ever again
You were the best of men
And you would get that look that would lock
Into my gaze and I would take stock 
Of the moment that we held 
Like out on the mountain that morning as dawn broke its shell
Or the time I took a video recorder
And filmed you looking into the border
That bridges the place between you and I
I was eleven when the sigh
Escaped your lips
And my own eclipse
Began with a swathe of rage
I decided not to use a page
To document my anguished sobs
Because that would be to rob
Some of my pain from me 
And what would be left of our history
The one with Ireland on the wall
You had cut it out or you walking down the hall
In the middle of the night when all was quiet
Just a door gently shutting on the riot
That cascaded my dreams
A grandfather that isn’t all he seems
Because he is a whole life away
And I’m just starting mine, what do you say
That everything will be okay
And you love Granny and that day
You held a candle as you depart
And it nearly breaks my heart
Watching her watching you go
Why did God make us for this so
To love and to say goodbye 
I don’t mean to always cry 
When I think of twenty two years ago
It’s just I promised that the low
Would bring me a high 
And I feel you in the sky
As I gaze into a scene 
And ask God to wake the dream
Up if He possibly could 
So I walk alone in the wood
At the back of our land
Until something takes my hand 
And leads me to a monument 
That points to the place the person went 
And how could hell be heaven sent 
I swear and I eff and blind 
But it doesn’t bring me respite from the mind
That tears me into treachery 
Look your love is not lost in me
It’s just fading into eternity
One you will come to know
My surrender will not let you go

The Machinations

.Reading time 1 minute.
The machinations work 
And they hurt
As I make myself small
To appeal to you all
And it’s not because I hold a grudge
That I trudge through all this sludge
Into the mists of time
And my rhyme 
Gets relegated 
Into something somebody stated
One time in the hall
I hold myself back and the freefall
Is more than I can bear
And I tear 
In the fabric rush
And everything I seem to touch
Turns to ash
And I can’t get it back 
Anymore than I ever could
And the wood 
Is the only place I can find peace
From the threat of the decease
As it throws patterns on the wall
And it’s not part of me at all
Anymore
Because that closed door
Opened into a new sky
And I realised I could never die

The Extricate

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
The extrication of spirit from form
One minute you’re fine and the body’s warm
Next thing you notice you’re eighty two
And people are saying goodbye to you
And I must hold my head up high
And watch you die
Slowly, then all at once
Letting go of the pulse
That beats your heart so fine
The one that was in love with mine
For the season we spent in the sun
I look up and we’re still one

Missing You

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Watching as the train pulls in
And I can’t help but think of him
How he’d be there every Friday evening 
Gave me something to believe him
And I left him to go walkabout
In dreams of dread and self doubt
When no one could ever see me there
And I felt like no one care
And then he died, just like that
Take in a breath he can’t give back
And I’m not even letting go
Because it’s not the same as it used to be so
I wear my armor strong and tight
Chainmail you can’t set alight
To let the stone sink down deep
There’s something of his love I keep

Emotional Storms

.Reading time 1 minute.
My future regret
Comes in days that haven’t happened yet
And I feel guilt
Like a blade broken at the hilt
For all my sorrows and all my sins
The near misses and the almost wins
As I try to fight my true nature
Hitting like a meteor into a crater 
And leaving a mess all around
I’m silent but you hear the sound
Of everything
Of a bird on the wing
That seems to soar
Do you want something more
Than what you’ve always had
It’s stereotypical, this feeling bad
Like dread is a mountain I meet in my sleep
And broken promises are all that I keep
Close to me as I lie on my pillow
Bending the truth like it’s a weeping willow
Just to measure up
Please, Lord, take away this cup
But the present moment ever is
And this life is only His
In His majesty 
Just don’t wave a red flag at me

Eyesight

.Reading time 1 minute.
I can see the craters on the moon
And that’s better than leaving way too soon
Coz the midnight knows my name
And I play piano like it’s a game
And stress everybody out
With my errant doubt
And all that I do without
I silently scream instead of shout
And they never understand 
All the monuments I have planned
To my underscore
I have less that’s wanting more
In the dewy air
All the absent answered prayers
As I call out to the sky
Say I’m not afraid to die
But is that wishing for the scorch
Instead of white picket fences and a front porch
And I try to explain 
About precipitation when it’s pouring rain
And I do it once more
Knock on every open door
To file away
Check on me if I don’t smile today

That Leaden Feeling

.Reading time 1 minute.
To find that she doesn’t slake the lust
Lost in cobwebs of broken trust
And you look at me with a sigh
Coz you just want me to die
In the bed I’ve made for myself
And blame the tragedy on poor mental health 
So you are free to do as you wish
And never is our first kiss
To quell the storm
Do you keep a body warm
When you’re lost in pain
In agony and the rain
Clatters against the window 
But no Cathy to let her in though
As I quote a novel from centuries ago
Healthcliff was kinda mean though
Though the eternal rocks beneath
Resemble the pavement that make up the street
And concrete boots as I walk to you
Would you wear another’s shoe 
Just so you could find a mile
Leads you to break a smile 
As you see a new dawn
In a place where the person’s gone

With The Guy Next Door

.Reading time 1 minute.
I’m in love with the guy next door 
I dunno why but I’ve always wanted more 
Than just the come what may
And I don’t care what people say
The light cannot be put out
And all that is is in doubt
As everything shatters and cascades 
But I’m with you in the spirit everglades 
As your soul speaks to me 
And reminds me that I am free
Of all that seeks to contain
As clear and pure as rain
That falls after a storm
And you were just so warm 
When you stood by my side 
And your peace is still alive 
As it speaks to me 
From the realms of eternity
As a red haired girl with curls 
Keeps you company while the world 
Just turns a deeper shade of blue 
I am not without you
Now that you seem to have been gone
For so very long 
But still here in the realm
That exists without any pain 

Photo Credit

MCR

.Reading time 1 minute.
The dark side of myself likes MCR
And I’ve tried to keep control of her 
But she keeps bursting at the seams 
And waking up in all my dreams 
To tell me how to live 
And to just forgive 
The slights made
The flights you were afraid 
To take 
Now the wake 
Is full of people drinking beer
They don’t seem to notice death is near
As I sit beside the coffin
And remember our time on Inisbofin
When I fell and bumped my head
Against a rock and now you’re dead
But are you really? I sense you’re free
And not constrained to lines like me 
Your soul expands 
And all these slipping sands 
Are just the flow of time 
I try to capture as I rhyme 
To still the torrent 
But it doesn’t warrant 
The armed brigade 
The bodies you can’t save 
As they march off to war
I look back at her
And she seems to know 
All that I cannot let go
I shake at the edge of the fray
She whispers that it’s all okay
But I can’t trust, can I
In that which will never die

The Constraint Of Death

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
The constraint of death pulls at my threads
Is it not running in everyone’s heads 
That this body will burn out
Seems to be beyond all doubt
I sense a flaw
And the ice thaw 
To make me feel the snow 
The frostbite of not letting go
When it’s time 
And every rhyme 
Holds an unbidden note
Oh, the gurus that I quote 
Fearless stand 
Impervious to any man 
Who might set a flag
On a mountain so they can brag
That they’ve conquered it
But do you know who you’re talking with 
The virgin land 
And the people who understand 
As it pulses through
I seem to be talking to you
But it’s just empty air 
The presence of something that’s ever there

Running In The Forest

.Reading time 1 minute.
Running in the forest like a scared little girl
What would happen if the world 
Just stopped spinning where it is 
And why am I His 
For so long
Without any rotary blade 
To put the sun in the shade 
Of all that you know so well
Is the earth going to hell 
In a hand basket 
And if it is does it wonder why we don’t ask it
What it needs 
And the people bleed 
In a foreign land 
As we all wait on tenderhooks 
Suspicious of what they might take 
Looks that worry about the quake 
That seems to be shaking the superstructure 
And it’s a wonder something doesn’t rupture 
In the facade 
What if there’s no good or bad 
Only the Ultimate seeking to express itself 
Souls oblivious to the wealth
They hold inside 
Oh, what a time to be alive!

Buataisí Beaga

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
The fire seems to catch me by the boots 
And throw me upside down 
I catch my breath
And then I drown 
In the ocean of what we are 
Cosmically, a star
Fluttering somewhere on the edge of what we know 
I hold on because letting go
Isn’t an option now 
I see you somehow 
Through the smoke and fog
I throw another log 
On the burning hearth
It keeps me warm when it gets dark 
And you share this strength with me
As we fight, wilfully 
Abandon all life thought to know
About twin flames in the snow 
Finally, to realise 
We both share the same skies

The Oil Of Chrism

.Reading time 2 minutes.
How do I write the syllables of my past
How do you make a good thing last
And she screams into the wind
The teacher tells us we have sinned
Though she has battered and bruised my kin
In the name of what to do, amen
And is it just a victim of the times
Do people beat the track that rhymes
And what’s stopping me from being brutal
So I give him first refusal
On a piece of road fronted land
Just one condition: he must take my hand
And be wed
Though the bed
Is big enough for us both
And he just takes off his coat
And asks can he stay
I say; no way!
But I’d like to love you anyway
What do you say? 
He pauses to contemplate
Must I make him wait
I deliberate
It’s not like that
“But it is”
I just wanna be his
Now he has got another soul
And I’m told that their waves roll
And crash upon the shore
Have you ever wanted more
No, he defies
But I see the lies
Catch in his eyes
As he protests the point 
Would you anoint
Our child with the oil of Chrism
I try to move on but no one else is him
And though the chemistry and the sparks fly
What’s born of bodies must admit to die
In their deepest, darkest, most honest moment
It’ll leave you too, won’t it? 
He stares at the floor then back at me
It’s you and I eternity
In some twin flame fusion
And the density is bruising
When it keeps us apart
Did I ever tell you, you have my heart