Tag: conflict

The Futility And Helplessness

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The futility and helplessness sets the kettle to boil 
And I wouldn’t be a daughter of this soil 
If the tragedy of conflict didn’t run in my veins 
And if I didn’t understand their pains
As they’re bombed into an oblivion 
How do I forgive them 
For what they don’t know they do 
When they are crucifying you 
For all they want to gain 
Because of the mechanics of their pain
As it spins round and round 
And delivers verdict without a sound 
Only the deafening quiet of thunder
Another neighbourhood going under
To the sound of crush
And the people rush
To see who they can save
As western civilisation cave
Under the weight of its own oppression
And every truth seems like a confession 
We make in the dark 
And we scroll past the things that leave a mark
And I watch young men in suits 
Brush past the truth
Like it is an inconvenient stare 
That they don’t want to admit is there 
When they don’t want it to be 
And if the Mediterranean Sea
Is the only place you can find solid ground
You know the silence has been lost in sound

Empire

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There is an empire nobody sees
And it has everyone on their knees
Struggling to make ends meet
As people try to die on their feet
Through the beauty blogs
Or the city that the pollution smogs
But never good enough is the refrain
And you can only ever paper over the pain 
As we try to keep everything in frame 
So we can keep up with a name
That we have identified as ours
And the powers 
That be pull tight on the rein
As someone else takes the blame 
For what is beyond the pale 
You can’t buy what is not up for sale 
And I watch the horrors encompass the whole
And you may not be able to steal their soul 
But you sure can make their body hurt
Make them long for death and what’s worse
Is you do it in the name of the free
But you sure as fuck do not do it for me 
As I balk and retreat 
And admit total defeat
In a war that can’t be won
Watch a mother sacrifice her son 
For some hidden clause 
The video skips when I hit pause 
On the show 
And I cannot let go 
Of everything I’ve come to be
And a man down on one knee
Is not my salvation 
Neither is my education 
So pulverised and perfect, true 
But I didn’t do it for you 
As I let the wind go slack 
The years you waste you can’t get back

The Mute And The Foal

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It’s impossible to stay angry at you
When you flick that gaze at me 
And I swore that it would be us
For eternity
But the dials switched and changed
The atoms rearranged 
And it seemed like our history
Would stay in the past
Like me getting all those A’s in class
And they called me names
Like all I am is brains
And Deirdre, she cut me down 
Made me wanna run clear outta that town 
And she would pick away at me 
Til I had enough and infinity 
Isn’t far enough to be away from her
Even though I mourn what we were
And I know her depths go unknown
And some of them were shown 
To me too
And there were parts that were true
But the lies they perforate 
And before I know it it’s that date
Again
And men
Seem like my only salvation 
As I make x and y balance the equation 
And I thought I had struck gold
In the ground or at the end of the rainbow
You turned out to be the same as her though 
It was all shits and giggles 
But the next thing the girl wriggles
And you’re gone 
And I say so long
To all that I thought you were
Enjoy the business you have with her
I’m sure it’s mighty fine
But just don’t try to waste my time
Saying you’re my friend
When I only ever saw the end
Of what you were trying to sell
And I wish you both well
But I’m not gonna gallop that pony
And I could be wrong but you’re full of baloney

Diagrams Refract

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So I guess his girlfriend hates me now
Because I let him in and allow
Him to take me to dance
Give love at first sight a second chance
And I won’t refuse him
If he knocks on my door
Prove to God 
Who loves him more
And I know you’ve made him happy
And I don’t envy the task
But there is still so much 
I’ve got to ask
You both coz I wanna be friends
With the two of you
Don’t doubt that
I love you too
Some kind of sister 
In the scene 
You were his twenty something dream
And I can only catch a glimpse of him
Through the photographs in which I swim
That you took
And I wrote a book
About the way feelings clash
Hot and cold fronts, smoke and ash
But I don’t want a showdown with fragrant air
I’m glad that you were there
To catch his tears and resound his laughter
And you’re cute but I know what you’re after
As you fool a second glance
In a sort of romance
But you gotta know
I gotta say
That I’ve loved him
In every way
Picked up the crumbs he dropped on the path
Be the beauty in the aftermath 
And I don’t want an enemy
Or someone taking swipes at me
I just want to kneel as I confess
I envy you in that dress
And all that I missed out in the fire
You’re burning earth on the pyre 
And I’m sure a furnace or two
Knows the depths and breadth of you
And you look at each other
But he is my soul brother
And I gotta let him know
Let the love show
In the diagrams refract
Is it okay if I come back
And be the mirror to reflect
Not something circumspect 
But deep blue truth
That professed secrets of our youth
And he used to be an emotional kid
And I was straight laced, he took the lid
Off of all I can’t contain
I’m singing summertime in the rain
As we share each other’s speech
And he’s tall and got reach
And I know in his secret heart
He has held onto you
I know what he wants to do
And I can’t escape
From the flash of a red cape
As it floats in the mirror
And I was so blind I didn’t see her
As I made an overview of you
I mapped the things that you could do
And I give up the fight
Coz I wanna be a good person and alright
And I feel if you knew all there was to know
There is no way you would ever go
I keep hidden the best part of me
But I’m opening up so you see
All that’s left of what we were
It’s not a matter of me or her

The Words And What They Do Not Mean

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She can’t stop running interference
And though I held her dear once
I can’t keep up this spin
Why don’t you keep that aspect of yourself for him
Like you’ve been trained to do 
But I never will be you
In all this mountainous thunder
And taking a number
To be what you are
Has every star
Been categorised
And every sunset a way the day dies
I don’t know about your aching pain
As it tries to force me to stand in the rain 
Because you got wet
From a time you cannot forget
All the lights shine
But forever will never be mine
As long as I pick up after you 
I feel cold at the sound of your laughter too
Because it rings of disdain 
And your aching stain 
On the carpet or sheet 
There must have been a reason we meet
By universal design 
But know that I cannot call mine
What only pulverises 
And she surmises 
That I’m cutting, direct 
The words she hurls haven’t changed me yet
But I just feel this sigh
Coming on like a longing goodbye
As I wonder why
She never understood jack
And now she cannot take it back 

Image Credit: https://pin.it/44bS37KXN

When They Try To Control

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When people implore me with their eyes
But I don’t care who dies
Because I have seen beyond the form
And what happens when the body warm
Soon turns cold and depart
The spirit leaves by the heart
And returns to join it’s immortal core
They struggle to say I love you more
In their attempts at suppression
Some kind of drive at oppression
Til I’m twenty nine and in confession
As the priest says this will be your last aggression
But I just can’t muster up the energy to say
I’m saving it for another day
Because everything is now
And somehow
In the forest of storm 
I found that which was never born
And so can never leave this earth
The something beyond the hurt
And though they try to scratch and claw
They are no match for the Great Thaw
That is unfolding humanly 
On the planet and undoing me
Well the “me” I thought I was
It does not abide by laws
But sits in it’s own sweet soul 
And tells the waves to roll and roll
They will still meet the beach
If this is what it is to teach
Then call my words silent prose
This is the less travelled road

Image Credit: https://pin.it/5uVA1s7GZ

The Desperation Of Sighs

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There is the desperation of sighs
As another Palestinian dies 
For want of love
Because the world is too far above 
Itself to reach down
And bring peace to a town 
When someone runs with a gun 
Something somehow clasps 
Their hands so that thing cannot last 
And yet we watch as the ICJ 
Won’t wish this genocide away
And people say you’re anti Semetic
If you don’t agree with the rhetoric
That would condemn a people to evisceration 
Torture and brutality the equation 
That would erase them from this earth
I don’t know if bombs are made to hurt
Or just tear apart 
The human heart
We must start
A movement, a revolution 
To end apartheid that is brutal 
And unforgiving and unfair
I know because I was there 
When I watched the flag fall
Don’t hide them behind a brick wall
And say it’s not your plight
Because they’re relying on us, alright?

The Complicity

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I can’t stand in complicity
Then say I stand for humanity
Because I give money to charity
For people in foreign lands
Who land has turned to sands
But I cannot countenance the destruction
Of a Western aided genocide
And just go along for the ride
That is sold to us on TV
That to defend yourself is the right of the free
And that terrorism
Is the great schism 
Of our times
And war crimes
Can go unnoticed
Because we have voted
These people in 
And the one who win
Has the right to say
That it is okay 
To drop tonnes of dynamite 
On people who have no way to fight
Back and protect what they own
But the seeds have been sown
By colonial occupation
And you cannot just change the station
And pretend it is not happening 
Whether you are left or right wing
Because you are uneducated 
Get a phone and erase what you’ve stated
And find a way to bridge the gap
If you don’t know the way then find a map
And don’t believe the lines of paper
That would tell you you have to hate her
For love to be real
Is colonialism another word for steal?

The Wonder And The Dance

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There is wonder in the dance
And you think about a second chance
To do everything over
But would you take it if you didn’t know her
And had to live the death again 
The taking away of women and men 
And I know I may be traumatised
By a past life where people died
Beyond my control 
And there is a shake, rattle and roll 
That soothes my soul 
Like an old car on the way to the Mega Bowl 
To celebrate a birthday or two
Eleven years old and walking with you
Into our teens 
And all the screams 
Fall silent sometimes 
There was horror in this childhood of mine
As I lay in my bed and dreamed
Then woke up paralysed and screamed
And ran out of the doors 
Into the light and love implores
Me to just take it easy
But I’ve never been so breeze
As I was at twenty two
Just after discovering you
And the lightness held 
In the depths that weld 
Themselves to my heart 
I know it’s about the taking part 
But somehow I’ve always wanted to win
The prize, the guys, the loyalty of him 
But it doesn’t work that way
And all I can really say
Is that the writing has called me since I was yay high 
And I know the people die
In foreign lands 
At the hands 
Of those who claim to be just
And broken dust 
Falls like paper burnt to cinders 
Ashen and my fingers limber 
Yearn to call them out 
Like darkness in my own self doubt
Is the world on a turning point to see
That good can be bad when it isn’t me 
And I would never do you wrong
But when people belong
To a tribe and dwell
They can inflict all kinds of hell
On those who have no way to defend 
The hearts that break only to mend
Themselves in solid steel
Can you blame the way they feel 
When they suffer in the rubble
And the ground shakes to signal trouble 
In the outer sphere 
If your compassion doesn’t extend to fear
Then is it real 
And can I heal 
And be the wholeness to embrace
The people that the pain deface
And I watch his eyes
As a child cries 
Before his lens 
Is it too late to make amends 
And ask for a ceasefire to be held 
I know the North of Ireland well
And somehow it has been a fragile peace
Not watching another youth decease
In the wreckage of flame 
Everyone has a name 
That they go by
To their loved ones and the lie
Is that there is no way to be 
When you’re running from history

All The Doors I Close

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All the doors I close 
And the people I lose behind them, God knows 
And the first time I committed that crime
Was when a girl was way outta line
She stepped on my toes 
And got in my way, God knows
And the harder I fought my corner 
The more visceral the way she would forlorn ya
So I let the rope go slack
When she said “I don’t know want you back”
And instead of pleading my case
I set the dial to erase
And burned up the photo and memory
Of everything we used to be
All the laughter and the wit
For the sake of the pain and how she hit
It hard with sudden force 
And justifications and no remorse 
And I, so mild and meek
Would be the highlight of her week
Until I crossed her temper 
And the onslaught, I remember 
How she turned friends to foes
Whispers of things only she knows
Til that girl blanks me in the hall
And another puts up a wall
Where there used to be open hands 
And I’m a stranger in these lands
Because I’ve only ever known friends
But we will not make amends 
In this calamitous affair
You wonder do I care
And I do, more than you know
That’s why I’m letting you go
Because your pincers snap
And my map
Had not known this terrain
As I fight the worst of you in vain
And sometimes still
The picture of us never will
Live up to Reality
I’m better off without you and me

Forgiveness And Its Release

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Forgiveness opens the heart
When you agree to be a part
Of this grand swathe we call life 
Even when it isn’t nice
And the bitterness broke
Like a sea over me 
When someone I thought
Would adore me 
Forever, shattered the glass
Told me that it just wouldn’t last
And I let my hand fall 
Coz I knew a brick wall
Is not for the turning
And my indignancy’s burning 
As she calls me out 
As a princess in an ivory tower
I abdicate and she has all the power
Whispering to ears
That I caused her tears
And am malign
If she wants an ending
Well that’s fine
I let her go 
No more chasing what I don’t know 
Coz I feel for her 
But what we were 
Is toxic through and through
She poured little bullets into
My coffee when I was set on drinking
My friends say that I’m overthinking 
The matter, it’s just jealousy
But she has the will to turn all against me 
I pass Sinéad McCormack in the hall 
She averts her gaze and my heart fall
In her confidence 
I’m all marks and little dents 
From the pillars she pricked 
You wouldn’t have thought the memory sticked 
In my soul for so long
For though I did no wrong
In my own estimation
I flick to her station 
And public enemy number one 
Is me basking in the sun
Of the God of all light
Coz He chose me, alright
When the going was tough
And I had run dry of all my love
As death pierced my balloon 
The rumblings of threat 
And what’s always too soon 
But she didn’t see
What I left in the library
When I closed the door 
I won’t be back here anymore 
And it was soft
I didn’t let her know she inflicted a cost
Coz I wouldn’t please her 
As they say
But would you deceive her 
Come what may
Into thinking she meant the sky
One thing’s for certain
We all die 
And the even fate
Levels it’s gaze at me as I wait
For the gong
And the throng
That follows suit
Do you think I am a flute
To live with your bite
And apologise to you, alright 
For being what I am 
I’m sorry but that’s not my plan
In the effervescent 
Look for true care and you’ll find the essence 
Of what I sought to impart
I’m an Aries and my heart
Will rule the head 
And instead 
Of giving in
I walk out, and that’s my sin 
As she looks on
At what’s gone 
And wonders why
Friends don’t try to make you cry
So, I hope you’re well
But as for admittance 
You can go to hell

The Devil’s Advocate

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I relate more than I let on
The moment when it is all gone
And the devil is the only friend you know
When you love God and he lets you go
And I fell into an abyss 
I felt the sensation of a death kiss
Planted on my lips
Is it a full moon or an eclipse 
Coz the light is strange
And drinking coke will rot your brain 
If you let it get to you
Love will break the heart you knew 
And I reached out to clasp
But it bit me, the fuckin’ asp
In Cleopatra’s hair
I can’t say I’m glad that you were there
But I’m glad that we met
A lightning strike you can’t forget

Royalty

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Being young and miles away from death
Toasting to the movie scene
And it’s like a hole was punched in the dream
And my friends are just ladies who scream
At the first sign of trouble
Can I burst your pretty bubble
Coz it’s intruding on my space
And it’s a groan seeing your face
Coz you just wrote me off
Now I write it down and all is lost
As I find myself
And I gotta say it’s the best kind of wealth
To know what you are
Old Kings burning a celestial star

Love And Other Verbs

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Toying with the idea of letting Stephen know
But he’s getting close so I’m letting Stephen go
As he tumbles out the words like a cavalcade in my mind
I keep wondering what I left behind
And he’s got a girl and I don’t wanna trespass a sin
I just feel like dancing when I talk with him
And what’s going on is not what it appears
I’m not laying all my life on you, dears
I’m just testing the waters like a foot on the bridge
Coz I’ve always been quintessentially his
And he owns the motions I make through the air
It was just a moment but we both were there
To hold each other’s hand like a temporary greeting
I’m so excited that we’re actually meeting
For the first time again after so long
Is the seat by your side where I belong?

Fighting My Femininity

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I fight with my femininity
It evokes love
But I can’t tie myself
To any of the above
Only open my heart
For peace to be shared
Open my notebook
To say that I cared
And that I’m not
In this quiet, tight space
But dreaming of days 
When I touch your face
Telling you all 
You mean to me
Not closing the door
So you can be free
And I know that I have put out
More than I take back
And I have been hobbling 
Over what I lack
But the sight of you
Is like a comet true
And I’m shaking just thinking
Of what I would do
If you were mine
To have and to keep
To wake up beside
A good nights sleep
And you’re kind and you’re awesome
I’ve been keeping you away
I look down at my feet
Coz I don’t know what to say
And you tell me I’m lovely
And beautiful
He left me empty
Now I am full
Of a joy that’s brimming
Full of trust
Can I come in, baby
It’s a must
And you look at me
As if I defy
The life I’m leading
As some kind of lie
But I just wanna be
Myself again
A woman in
A world full of men
Telling me how 
I should contain
This heart of mine
That’s broken with pain
But shining with gold
As I repair
The parts of myself
That knows you are there
That knows there is kindness
And there is truth
More than monuments 
I’ve built to our youth
And nobody knows
Or can describe
The feeling of loving
Breath when you’re alive
And I’m haunted by loss
And the threat of death
Keep living days 
Full of regret 
Coz I can’t control
The passing of seasons
Or people with pride
And a bowl full of reasons
And is it insincere 
To proclaim my devotion
To the silence
In all the commotion
As I feel the movement
Of a pin drop
Signaling winter
Or the moment to stop
And take in an aside
Of all we’re meant to be
I didn’t know if you knew
So I’m letting you see

Til The Day I Die

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I wonder if he ever thinks of me
It’s been years since I set him free
And it all collided into a perfect chasm
Now I look away coz I know she has him
And I don’t begrudge her the joy of the act
It’s just, you see, I want him back
And it doesn’t matter what storms my sky
I’ll still love him to the day that I die

Shanghai

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It was a once in a lifetime kind of a thing
And I might have a life but I’ll never have him
And you are a wonder and touch me just so
Where he left the wound that you want to go
I wish I could agree with the please in your eyes
I nod along to the flower that dies
And you give me everything I could entertain
And I know you want to ease my pain
But does that make it right to go along
When you’ve painted the picture and mastered the song
And all I need to do is slip my hand into yours
Stand by your side as you close all the doors
Hope in my heart that it is enough
To hold back the force of his tidal wave love
That wreaked such destruction on all of my plains
I called the cops but they just took names
And now I am stranded in this waste of a place
But someone sees something when they look in my face
And I want to crawl in under your arm
Cause you swore you would never do me that kind of harm
And I know in all honesty you are speaking the truth
And it’s not the first time I have loved you
But the bitterness burns in the back of my throat
As I wonder do I want to stay afloat
Cause the weather may change and the tides may rise
But he will always be God in my eyes
Bitten by a curse I cannot undo
I don’t want to inflict myself upon you
Unsteady heart that roams the seas
And kisses the waves of who I used to be
You are neat and precise and create a home
But I’m desperado and I love it alone
To come and call with flowers to your door
And say that I wish I could give you more
But he already took all that I had
What’s left are the shards and I feel so bad
That the most of what I have to offer
Is to hold your hand and think of how he thinks of her
And you’re worth true love but you don’t let me go
I look in your eyes and I feel that I know
That whatever the winds blow me in time
My feelings for you are not only mine
But surge on repeat to a lunar command
I am your friend and I think we’ll be grand
And fall into step as I catch your breath
I could be yours if you know that I met
Him as he walked blades of grass through the field
And there’s a part of my soul that never will yield
To the onslaught of this universe
I am glad of the way he made me hurt
And if that’s something you can accept
Then maybe I can be who I ought to be yet
Catch the smile to make it spread
He let me go and left me for dead
But clasped in the locket on my chain
Is a blank space waiting for a name
So maybe Poseidan won’t drown me today
I want to say thanks for not going away

The Cripple Walks

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Feeling the pain of my other half and consequently in myself
She stood and asked me how I felt and I tried to articulate
It’s like what I always thought she knew, she never even saw
And I realised you never held me in the heart that I held you
And all that I was so sure of just fell by my side
It’s like I’m missing something monumental
And she’s a stranger to me
Mystery in more ways than one
My hands can’t hold her in any way there is
I was by her side
Til the moon cast shadow
And hung it’s head
I knew there were waves
But you drowned in a way I never could
And though I fill my lungs, I can’t help but breathe air
To die is easy, like falling asleep
And I can’t make myself afraid
Of the perpetual night
That ensues
As you sail away
For your far distant adventure
And eminent critique
Of where I reside
To give my life
And bury the sand of the coffins I know
With an ache
You were not there
As I stood sentinel
Over the cracks in the earth
Where lay the possibility I could fall through
Why can’t you ever understand?
I let it go
The purpose in presence
That you do not find here
In eyes
You turn away
And for all your forests’ wilderness
I would not have it so
That you would labour under a sky you hate
So drift
Impermanent
I thought otherwise
And vows played out
To lie broken on the floor
You do not see
But I cannot question your vision
And admit to yourself who you are
I know you will abide
Forever in the place
Of your cravat
That nooses me til I say enough
Beg no more
Alas you say, I knew it would come to this
Contemptible being
You fall
In my gaze
And I, adjacent
Concede
O, Master of Ceremonies
That you may proclaim
A religion foreign to me
And I atheist to your god
Would not have it so that I should lie
With a bended knee
Or head bowed in servitude
You may have your truth
But I do not subscribe
So, loss the one deity that I have served
Though you do not recognise
Alas, it is you, my love