Is marriage the line I cannot traverse And I can only watch them rehearse And get ready for the big day Pretend I don’t care anyway When all I love is walking down the aisle And seeing you turn and spill a smile Into my eyes eternally But you’re looking at her, not me And I shouldn’t be jealous Or covet what’s hers It’s just you were mine Amongst the firs As we make Heaven Come down to Earth And I wash away The pain that you hurt With, to you and many Now I see her in your gaze And there isn’t any Anything I can do to change The way the molecules rearrange To the sound of sulfur on your breath Tinged with my greatest regret
Is this goodbye Now I’m letting go Of the pain that had me Wedded to you, you know And every tale I keep in a locket Is a symbol of How they forgot it Coz the season changes And time renews And what’s bad in the morning Becomes old news I click my heels together When I hear your name It’s been an ocean And I won’t be the same But loving you slightly Will always be Taking a dram Of straight destiny
I feel myself sinking down into the midnight The absence of perfume, the absence of light The dawn of knowing what you cannot say The reluctant acceptance of what cannot stay And I know in the storm there is a break of day And when you trust in God it’ll all be okay But sometimes the ocean is just too deep And I try to catch a few moments of sleep Before I awaken with a start Like everything good it comes from the heart
They’re selling an American Dream But I’m walking on a moonbeam As it guides my way home And tells me I’m not alone As I open out into the vast expanse Perceive the space as the molecules dance To make up the shape of me The frame of what is memory Held together by a subtle flaw I wonder is ice real as it starts to thaw
You’re burning up the atmosphere Like the ozone layer is clear And fuck that bullshit, I spin the dial And listen to you sincere Coz the guy beside me loves me And I love him too But the worst of the weather Means it is not you And closing my eyes is all I can do So that I won’t know The places where I should not go Though they call to me An elephant graveyard or Eternity Could you please give me a clue You laugh and say the answer too!
Is it just my hormones Making me love you A perfect match A patch for two Or is it something deeper That we might share I know that I love you I know that you care And when all the wilderness Lets me go Will I still be there At the end of the show Coz I just wanna hold your hand And have you feel The decades of love With which I cannot deal As they wrap around The map of your frame And I twirl on my fingertips The headtrip of your name
I’ve got the fear of missing out on stuff And most of that is love Coz they’ve all got stars in their eyes And I’m full of existential why’s As Peter dances with me in the club I may have kept the ticket stub As he laughs when I say hi And I begin to think he’s superfly But it could never work coz it’s not the dream And I’m holding out for what could’ve been Don’t you think you’d know at first sight And your smile is kryptonite And there’s nothing more to say Did I adore the way Your reflection keeps the style And I’m down for a long while And I don’t understand why you’re still on my mind When I thought that had left nothing in kind And is it wrong to profess my dues When I’m walking my own shoes And have the rhythm of soul And a heart of fire that’s burning with coal Do you think we could be something still? Even if you forget I never will
Leaving a paper trail of tears behind me I’m overwrought so never mind me As I build a new monument to all that’s fallen I’m in the Deep South and they are drawling As they curb all anticipation Can I watch your tv station Just for a little while I made you see, you made me smile And all I can think of is torment The indigenous people and where they went Forced across rock and stone Broken in their skin and bone But with their Spirit true I can still have faith in You As all comes crashing like a wave Is it sin to abdicate to save And hold a hand Is the shore more than sand And if a rock is hewn to bits Do you have space to sit with it Or does its impermanent tone Remind you what it’s like to be alone Moving weight like old stone I’d hold back but I’ve already shown All of my stars to you I’ll love you if you want me to
So mad I’m taking all these pills As I fight the doctor in a display of wills But he always seems to win the day And make the point I’m not okay And sometimes I agree As I picture a man down on one knee That might pick me up But I’m heavier than the weight of love Can carry when it all boils down I spilt the beans, you went to town Aghast at all the mess is made You’re throwing the game, I’m throwing shade And we’re just resting in the silence deep I don’t want to be less than the promise you keep As the wings of love glide I’m coming out of where I hide To know the sunshine as my true nature And where you landed left a crater In the ground of me Mother Earth or destiny Shaken to my core I try not to love you anymore But it just pulls me back Don’t see me as just a hack That has to get her stories down I hum as I drive out of town Past a scene I know so well If I shared a secret would you never tell?
She’s rewriting the rule book Like I did with a school look As I ran up and down the halls Some are chasing dreams, I’m chasing walls To keep me safe and closeted in But it takes a breath for the night to begin And once it does you can’t go back Obsessed with how they have all you lack And she shines But I’ve written that story a thousand times As I begged to be let in Then got caught in the full glare of a grin That suddenly shone on me Asked for my hand and my integrity And I fell victim to An obsession with the form of you When the midnight calls my name And I nonchalant all the same Your absolutely sincere Does intimacy mean more than near Coz this close is comfortable Like we’re both being vulnerable And almost to touch I gotta say I love you so much Behind the folds of a page This moment will never age
We’re up here at 39000 feet Where the cold is warm as the elements meet And make a force of nature new If you don’t know I’m talking about you As somewhere we swim inside the depth And the best thing about Now is what is unmet By the forest in kind of trees and of beers And I lost myself in the years and years Trying to find what can’t be described All the while knowing I’m still alive Coz I feel this heart beat through my skin But there’s a part of me that’s deeper within Than any skin and bone can mend And death is simply not the end Just a continuum of undefended peace Or a moment of great release As all of the sidewalks lead into one Trust in God and in the Son
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When I was twenty six I didn’t know what hit me All I know is that Jesus is with me And each step he walks points me the way I just need to trust in what he say
Her love is tragedy Like she could pageant me And I can see the loss The way she dots her t’s And if I love her It’s my disease But she picks me up Off from my knees When I’ve been crying For a season Like this pain Comes without any reason And the doubt Holds me together She patches me up Despite the weather
The guy in the line was really sweet And I wonder about fate and how we meet Under the sky of a new sun And anybody could be the one With your jet black hair and stolen eyes The way you say there are no lies And I’ve always been one of the guys But love takes my hand to my own surprise As I revel in misery and the grief Of losing all that I invest belief In now the times are dual But Advaita is beyond the rule Of anything that dare contain Can you learn to love the pain
There’s just this peace And I know that it should really cease When I’ve lost someone But love is not done And expands from out my heart As quick as a skip rhythm part And in time with tune There is a presence in the room That announces this It is more than a first kiss
Giving myself permission to open up I’ve got to be vulnerable if I wanna love And I’m risking the pain coz damn sure it’s there But I’ve gotta trust if I wanna care And the wind blows no matter which way I turn A fire sign has just gotta burn Til the ashes turn phoenix new Til I see myself reflected in you And I know I’ve got problems, I know I’ve got vices But I am the queen of no compromises As I utter the truth as it sits on my breath I say to the sky; don’t let me forget Coz I wanna grow up, I don’t wanna away But there’s room in this house for peace to stay And open the cages that rattle their bars Twenty odd years and I’m still chasing cars Down every avenue Still trying to prove something to you All now that are watching my every move But who would you be if you walked in my shoes Like Atticus Finch and fine thread Do up your laces and keep up your head As everything born to beat you down Slowly vacates your side of town To leave you free as a bird in the air I just want you to know that I am there For you in every melee Whether or not you’re talking to me In the sunshine, the storm, the rain or the snow There is no place a shepherd won’t go To retrieve that lost sheep he owns Give up the struggle and just come home
Ijust wanna protect her And I’m so mad that he’d reject her And ruin her starlit shine It’s kind of like the light that used to be mine And now she sings of a defeat, years ago I close my eyes because I should not know But I do I still feel you In the cobwebs of my mind Kind of like a secret I’ve left behind And we tangled up our avenues I sing of heaven without you And innocence lost She paid the price but at what cost
The war in her heart spills over into mine When I say I love you for the thousandth time And you’re nothing more than fantasy Dreams I make out of the fate you see And you’re roving wild waters And your chivalry escorts her At least in my mind As I look on from being left behind It’s a sorry state But I won’t give in to hate As the wound it festers And the court is filled with jesters That make the music of the time But that sound could never be mine As I pull away from modern notions Focusing on my emotions Til they’re all I can see But that’s not all there is of me And dignity Walks me to the door As you say your love’s no more And I agree I look out but it’s wintery As I pull my jacket close You look like you’ve seen a ghost “You’re not gonna venture into that” But I gave you a home, I won’t take it back And he pulls my hand Close to his soul that’s made of sand As it pours on through Was I wrong to trust in you And he sighs “I’ll take leave of our goodbyes” And points me toward the flame That is burning in the middle of his name You can stay here I say, okay, my dear
The source of her love is effulgent flame And it kills me that others don’t feel the same As they hear her plaintive cry And leave her in the rubble to die But I grab her hand, pull her out of there Wash the wounds, show her some care Tell her about the mystery That lies within both you and me And she starts to revive Feeling the tremble of being alive As she takes each breath Scared she can’t put her feet to the floor yet In case it shakes She looks at me through all her mistakes And trusts and lets go and comes to be All that she Is eternally
Living here is wild country I ran away so he couldn’t dump me And the waves of irritation Are nothing to his tv station As it plays the same old tune The lightning struck me in the room As I said my prayers I tell no one coz who cares About that kind of thing It’s like I grew an angel wing To help me fly And I saw to what could not die And I try To smile and put me first I’m better off but it’s the worst
There was a lightning storm in Texas The day I got my flight And I listened to the pilot When he said everything’s alright But there’s a silence in the air A stunning in the fold The atmosphere is deep And I’m getting a little old As we wait out the time We have left on this earth I think we’ll be okay At least, for what it’s worth
Leaving Louisiana I watch the Mississippi River As we glide over it in a plane I don’t know when I’ll be back that way again And the heat in July must be hard to bear They’re on their own and my God I care About all they’ve come to be Does the water run into the sea Or does it just keep on going I guess I have no real way of knowing
I wanna kiss DC full in the face For the joy of loving me in my disgrace And should I maybe not say your name In case you see it, well it’s all the same As you smoked a cig in the club And I held onto you like you’re a drug As you held my eyes like a line And describing you sends me out of my mind But you’re perfect, you’re beautiful, you’re so debonair And I’m lost like a wonderland in your hair As you care And I stare If I could I’d take you anywhere You’d wanna go You looked at me like you didn’t need to know About my past, my history It’s all present moment when you’re with me
Fuck it I’m shit cool Though I was A1 in school And everyone is so nice Life the kind of trip you can’t take twice Drinking on the street Like the day Darragh and I meet And I swear I love that guy I’d marry him if he thought to try To try it on one more time He kinda reflects the light sublime As he gazes in my eyes And there’s something that never dies Held between us both I’ll get the door if you get my coat And I’ll hold it open for you Don’t you know that I adore you As you so honestly inflect I am down for what’s coming next
Listening to Midnights in the dark in Natchez I thought she said she buried the hatchet But she’s wearing it like a new dress Not even trying to impress And I wonder what sky She lies under like a guy And I’m high on frappechino But isn’t it like a dream though To know someone knows you well Throughout the secrets you never tell Just fly solo But it’s cooler than ice, you know As I think of that book we bought Queuing up in the cold we caught And it just reminds me of all the times I trusted the way the sun shines On the gap between us both I smile still and you know it But I say I’m not gonna explain it away As I do A one times one is never two
It’s fucking class You don’t need to ask She’s done it again, you say But I knew it all along, okay That she’s a colossus in my heart She makes my pain into art With a paintbrush in her hand If she was here I’d tell her it’ll be grand But she’s storming on another front And the winter is bearing the brunt And a bit of a ne’er do well It’s the secret I never tell That I’ve got this darkness too The only thing that doesn’t reflect you In the mirror of my mind It’s the truth I left behind As everyone just moves on I’m focused always on what’s already gone As the fade to grey comes back to sing Aoibhínn told me I’ve a broken wing And I couldn’t disagree I told the doctor it wasn’t me He needed to worry about But he’s frayed the thread with doubt And looks at me with apprehension I should’ve told him it’s just the suspension Of disbelief for a moment or two No, the problem isn’t you It’s me, at least presently or so There are places I won’t go But I’ve yet to explore Everything I adore Could you just hold the door I’d ask you but you did before
I’m a walking flame I don’t go by any name And anyone who’d dare surprise Me by looking in my eyes Washed away like the river flow And there’s more that I do not know Than I can wrap my head around If they ask will you make a sound Just to show that you are there What is the meaning of true care When it’s at home All I know is I’m not alone And solitude is all in one Unforgiven and the Son That died for all our sins Shows me that Love always wins
There’s an angel on the cross He’s been resurrected and all is not lost As he comes for me To lift me with his wings so free Up and out of this situation Away from town and my education Into a new sphere, a new realm One where God is at the helm Of the ship we all steer What’s left to say when the Holy Ghost is near
There was a winter in summertime As I laid claim to all that’s mine The showers awash with rain Holding myself together amongst the pain As she clicked her lips to all my flaws But when the sun burns all the ice thaws In the mystery of a silent barricade The house I live in, the home I’ve made Was all but naught to the blowing wind When you grow up, do you know you’ve sinned Or do you just grow out of that sort of thing Dreaming of a sky or a diamond ring To annunciate what’s inside The Eternal to abide
I can’t just keep writing poems about you Not when the Real is here And you never seem To reply to me, dear And the sidelines are awash With all the fragrant flames Knocking down the obstacles And taking names And you showed me your true colours Like a multi hued sky And I was not afraid To either live or die But only meet the honest That is shining in your eyes I think I might have seen you Without your best disguise
Holding my Catholicism with a light hand I believe in Jesus and shur it’ll all be grand Coz I trust in the Infinite Even in the dark of midnight When everything closes down And all you can see is the town That held you back Lost in everything you lack But that celestial sphere Of burning white light is always near And comforts me in my trauma So I walk amid the flora and fauna Just to feel the Nature in my bones It’s been years since I knew alones And even in the event of catastrophe I know the Lord walks with me Together with two pair of feet He leaves one set of steps on the beach As He carries me all the way home I guess that’s how the True Love is shown
I think I would steal away home To find the letters you wrote on stone In tablet form with a stylus The reams of literature can’t confine us Coz we are a storm by the light of day But in the night we are okay As you put one finger on my pulse And wait for the racing heart to lull Into the birth of silent trust The reams of gold that will not rust Only gaze in steady charm The love of God is safe from harm
Can I just lie here on your chest Be done with all the doing my best And just slip into a peaceful slumber You’re calling me but I lost your number And the answer’s like a dictaphone I’m in my room all alone Dreaming of a time less hidden And waves to roll that stroll unbidden And monuments are the days to come The forever in the being young But the timeless in the growing old There’s part of the story that’s never told But waits in stillness and in silence whole The power of love to wake the soul The power of emptiness come undue The strength in the gaze of you The solidity and the trust I’ll give up the pain if it’s a must And if you’re serious about the past Then the future will everlast But the truth is in a moment free We’re talking and he’s looking at me As the time flies by and the hours pass I didn’t know your name, didn’t think to ask But smile as if it’s all left to do I’m in love and it’s with you
Nothing fits it’s shape any more When you’re knocking on a closed door Only to see it opens from the inside All this time you’ve been alive And never really known it Like your true colours, never really shown it Til the dye is running through I got messed up in a dream of you One without an adequate ending And I quit the scene instead of unfriending You where you stood out there Didn’t want you to think I didn’t care But I’ve got to run Coz I love the sun And how it turns my skin brown I never lived for the town But for the acres, fields of grass Lying in the Everlast Til the cows come home I realise I’m not alone
A billion billion stars in the night sky Eight billion humans and we’re all afraid to die And the circle of life, it goes round and round You take your last breath then you don’t make a sound As you’re returned to the place you have always been Waking up to life now it has been a dream But born again anew into something fresh Throw away your fears and all of your regrets Leave them with the storm that is brewing by the coast Be the one who means the very most To everyone who looks to know if it was there You’ve seen through the night, now you can’t fake a stare
That fast feeling of fading when you’re twenty two And everything is growing up around you The flowers to rise, then wither and die The sheets of sleet that just make you cry As you’re facing outward into the rain Must we go through this all over again As the avenues merge into one route And you take a shot at the kissing booth But it’s all just so fleeting in transition Like you’ve woken up out of a worn condition And into the sky that always serene To anchor in what you’ve always been
There she goes out on a spin I wonder will I end up with him Coz the spiral galaxies can’t contain Anything that is less than rain And it all cascades from a cloud When you speak do you do it out loud And are you proud Of all you’ve come to be Do you really see Or just threaten so I ask because it’s somewhere I go Sometimes And all my rhymes Can’t fill the awning gap in my soul How do you find yourself in a black hole Singular true The point of eternity flowing from you
He lead with his pain The king of I’m never doing that again As he repeats henceforth And then is full of remorse But the moment is still as it passes It’s about waking up from your lessons in classes As you jot a note down Then feel as if you’re gonna drown In the ocean surrounding us all And he seems weak though he never call And the evenings are long though they’re not straight And I leave it up to God or fate As I climb a tree at fifteen Take snapshots of who I could’ve been And time has passed in a caress And I wear jeans under my dress To go trudging through the muck And I gotta say I always gave a fuck About you, about them, about him, about us The windowpane is cracked but the trust Still rests in steady arms So turn off your alarms And rest back into the resident peace I watched the war in me cease I listened as the noise fell quiet Though the streets may be a riot With all the summer rain I’ll take the truth without a name As it’s hampered on But you know it’s not gone As long as my heart steady beats And long after the tide retreats To leave a shore to smile It’s forever in a long while To go on singing your own tune I feel them all in this room As I touch my hand to my chest It’s not only the dead who rest As I let peace reign supreme And get up from the couch as though from a dream
I’m ending the fight I have with the stars Running through fields like I’m chasing cars And the sound of you is on the breeze Like a younger me the tree frees As I’m walking through the columns and rows Letting go of the loss of anything goes And finding my steadfast in the sight Of everything in the firelight
Things are changing rapidly But they’re also staying the same Love seems to be The name of the game As we grow and garden plants But from the sky we look like ants And do you think that such a view Can contain the heights of you Or the depth of your soul You don’t have to pay the toll Of living in a body human The cars pass by zooming And I wonder if I could catch a glance Would it move me like another chance As we all spend the scene Then call change a certain dream Because we are meant to grow Not torture each other, you know And the weight of troubled times Live with us like the crimes We secretly commit Or who we’re talking with On the down low I let it go, or don’t you know
I’ve got narrow arms I’ve always been thin And I’m so short Beside him But he makes me feel Ten stories high And I’ll love him Til the day I die Or longer and further If I may But I want him To know, okay Letting go Of the years I hid Always holding out For the highest bid But something in The way he smiled Had me walking All these miles Back to the place I started The moment when Faith imparted Us with just A moment to spare And I can tell When you’re not there And when you are Like a cosmic star Does she realise Just how far This love will go It’s forever I hope you know It threads the needle So very fine And is a step Out of time Into what You can only call The root Of it all Grown in ground Like steady soil So, let go Of all your toil And rest back into The arms of Heaven As secure as The number eleven
Careful anonymity is the name of the game As I breathe through it like it’s all the same And I protect what I see But it draws upon eternity To here and there and let the surge As I feel the moment when I merge With all that is or could be You look at me, do you see I’m free And yet held back by errant chains That fall from the sky like rains Everywhere to conspire Lift up what must take you higher Then soar into your own soul Deeper than the waves that roll Back where it is completely still Beyond the realm of hate and will But thundered prose knows the beat And it walks itself with my two feet To suddenly surprise the day I’m fine, you know, is that okay?
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The full force of the machine hit me across the skull And I’ve skin as thin as cotton wool As I try to find the deep reverb To silence noise with a word
Looking into the eyes Of innocent men Could you spell that For me again It reframes My female pain As not something I’d wanna go through again And I know it’s justified It’s just that I might’ve lied When I said it’s all your fault And I locked you in a vault But then I see once more The light of consciousness I adore Shining forth from the heart of you And it’s all that I can do To open heart and surrender Forget something I tried to remember For so long and with so much strive I’m just glad you’re alive And we can call this mission one My God, you shine just like the sun
22 is a long way behind me I’m just feeling nostalgic so don’t mind me And the energy is bittersweet Like the coast the ocean sweep And I’ve grown up but I’m down It’s been years since I’ve worn a classic gown Back when I was in with the Commerce crowd And I almost said your name aloud When Isabelle asked if I Had the hots for any guy And what would have been if my tongue hadn’t tripped Would you be the one I’m walking with Coz I’m long past empty and far past subside And I still remember your diamond eyes As they gazed up at me from the edge of the bed I was looking down at all they said And you just on the side of your seat Was it fate that made us meet Coz I’m always feeling we’re supposed to be I lean on you like a tree So solid and secure You look at me and I am pure In my intent to do you well How did I get so lost, I cannot tell I just wanna know what it’d be like To have a song where you’d grab the mic And interject your own pause There should be a hidden clause That says when I get near to you I’ll find a love that can do No wrong So I wrote you this song Will you hear Coz, my dear I’m never far away And I still love you, okay?
In another life We’d be a two by two And I wouldn’t have lost in love When I tried for you And it’s all good I’ll get by I’ll love again I don’t need to try It’s just you Got under my skin And I swore I’d never Be that way with him But I let myself down Badly, it seems I kidded myself Into the man of my dreams And I must have been such a joke The tiger you casually poke With a furnace roar in her soul But unsteady as a newborn foal Do you think you could give me a break But you take and take and take And I let it all go on the breeze Please, get up off your knees I’m not down to have you beg Could you grow up instead Coz we’re two equals by the door And I found you on the shore Washed up from a shipwreck When you use the f word is it feck Cause I’m looking at the deck And it’s still slanted yet Are you bootstrap’s child I’m still a little wild And roll with the ocean You are all emotion
I wonder if he ever thinks of me It’s been years since I set him free And it all collided into a perfect chasm Now I look away coz I know she has him And I don’t begrudge her the joy of the act It’s just, you see, I want him back And it doesn’t matter what storms my sky I’ll still love him to the day that I die
Death is really nothing but the passing of the torch I spend years in contemplation on my front porch All to find a map that maybe would decide The route I am to take for the reason that’s inside And it may be tomorrow or in forty years Will the lake live on now that I’ve cried some tears In saltwater brine ever to explore I get older as I age but I just love it more As I fit into my skin each moment as it passes Like I used to listen to the teachers talk in classes With rapt attention in case I might miss Something of my destiny condensed into a list And everything has rolled by, I find myself thirty two It’s older that I’m getting though I’m younger than you And everything will cease one day come it’s time It’s not as if I can call forever mine Except to note that in the Now Everything is present somehow An abundance of peace and adequate zen Hands held together to utter Amen That all may be as it always is The Birth of the Eternal into what exists
Are we loved up to the stars Sideways and we’re dodging cars That try to chase us down the street The glory of our cute meet On a train or a bus Or public transportation I always look out for you When I’m at the station In case you come riding into town I wanna make sure that I’m around And they all have me down as a fool As smart as I was in school They have me thieving timbers Crawling through the ashen cinders And I’m forever ago To you But I smile when you want me to Just to flash that grin of yours I’m sure the earth adores Ever child of hers as much as I do you The needle and thread are pulling through To make a new tapestry I loved you so I set you free
The poetry knows how to spell your name But I’m gonna keep it quiet, if it’s all the same To you as our separate spheres Collide into the absence of fear And you love her deeply but is it true And you know I’ve got my eyes on you As you step across the room Did I just know you too soon And the weather changed and the tide went out So sure that I’m full of doubt And aching with the ages that are passing by I know it was uncouth but I had to try To make a spiral turn your head I wish I was able to command you instead But you’re so out of reach that I cannot touch Even the air that surrounds what I love so much So I leave it be and I let it go It was just I wanted you to know Before you made that step up the hill I left it where it was but I always will Smile at the sun that shines on you I don’t mind if you want me to Simply be serious with my tone I’m always better when I’m alone And desperate is not something I’ve ever known But it’s got to rain for the grass to be grown And I guess I came down in a shower of hail And you can try your case and fail But there’ll always be somewhere you can reside You can take off that mask, you don’t need to hide Only confide and breathe deep and breathe true Love is always there for you
The Poetry Book 