Tag: awakening

Space To Breathe

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Do you allow space to breathe for the other side
Because they need air to survive
And if you suck all of it out of the room 
Then you’re both falling into the doom 
Because they’re our brothers and sisters 
And they may be misled 
But they still fall asleep in their own bed
With a million things running through their head 
In the guise of something to protect
Because something reject 
What has always been 
And you might see it differently but the dream 
Will always stay the same 
Until you have given it a name 
And said its verse 
In a lyricism you cannot rehearse 
I know they have a point and I know I want change 
But also know that making strange 
Never helped me a day in my life 
I met the man and I became his wife 
Though he never knew 
And now you 
Must face the great wave 
Of being there when there are people to save 
And how can any of this do any good
When there are people paying with their blood 
For the slaughtered masses
As we learn in our history classes
That we are so beyond this now 
Til it breaks out and somehow 
I know we have not transcended 
An agreement yet to be amended
The injustice makes me quake 
But greater yet is the space that wake 
And hold the ground 
For the sheer absence of sound 
In the din 
If I praise Him 
Am I only a Christian 
Or do I live out the promised mission 
To its conclusion 
I think I see the root of the confusion 
Though I could be wrong 
Every syllable contains the song

Monumental Shift

.Reading time 1 minute.
I watch with breaking heart 
As my hands break apart 
And the students call for change
Meanwhile the studies rearrange
Themselves around a new constellation 
A new age, a new installation
And I’m powerful in my surrender
Something about me makes people remember
A land before time 
And it is not mine 
It is something else in the sea 
Vague remnants of eternity
That build itself into a fort 
I have nothing to report 
And do I go against the grain 
The great movement of monumental pain 
That seems to foreshadow a darkened age
And if we don’t clear the page 
Of all the words that have been written upon 
Then we’ll regret it when its all gone 
And I make no enemy 
But something has to be said about the unfree 
Who walk with chains on their hands 
Strangers in their own lands 
And its accusations of anti this or anti that 
But it’s about something you can’t take back 
Once it’s done 
And I’m still young 
But do I sacrifice 
My own life 
For what I can never be
I just wonder why they don’t see 
What they’re doing to a population 
And if your education 
Inoculates you to your humanity 
Then it isn’t worth the paper they hand you by any degree

The Blackened Sun

.Reading time 1 minute.
The blackened sun shines from eyes that are undone 
And I remember from when I was young 
That adults paved the world of grey
And made you do what they say 
And it’s unconsciousness, it’s conflagration 
A darkness in a miseducation 
When you are taught to think 
But not taught to be aware of the sink 
In which everything will drain 
And must we let the pain 
Continue without reserve
I love the world but, my word
Humans are a violent creation 
And I can’t just switch the station 
For flick the TikTok 
Because it hurts a lot 
To see the children die 
And the mothers and fathers cry 
As they are dehumanised 
Like there are only bullets behind their eyes
And a two state solution 
Could be the answer to the revolution 
That is bubbling under the surface
I hope that they don’t hurt us 
For saying what we see to be true 
And I must stand with you 
For if we quake in cowardice 
We fuel a fire that burns us twice

This Kiss

.Reading time 2 minutes.
There is a space that holds the pain 
Like the sky holds the rain
And it’s a grand expanse 
Like how the leaves dance 
In the wind 
Like how my heart sparkled when he grinned 
And it’s not just errant love
Or the loss of peace or the birth of a dove
With an olive branch 
Sometimes I feel like I live on a cattle ranch 
Where people are always reigning me in 
And the bank tells me I must “begin” 
I dunno, the fuck that means 
When once upon a time the dreams
That were bricks and mortar bound 
Were found to be unsound 
And the country was austerified
And I’m not sure but I think they lied
When the whole thing was on the verge of collapse 
The whole territory identified on the maps 
That say where things are 
But they can’t categorise the star 
That burns in the midnight blue 
An old king hidden in the heart of you 
And they tell you to grow up and they tell you to cop on 
But I can’t get over what is never gone 
What just remains 
In spite of the stains 
As the tears streak down my cheek 
I’m in class and I get weak 
And I feel the faint coming on 
And I wait too long 
To steady the ship 
And some people may shoot from the hip 
I’ve always been straight down the line 
I always tell the doctors I’m fine 
When they doubt what I am 
I don’t think they have ever heard the can 
As it’s kicked down the road 
Doireann Fox asked me because I think it showed 
And I always wanted to tell her the height of admire 
Was held in my heart for hers on fire 
And it’s been so many years 
And I’ve kicked back with spirits and beers 
But they never seem to come near 
To the euphoria and the bliss
Of the one thing nobody can miss

The Literary Pen

.Reading time 3 minutes.
They all called me the literary pen 
But she said she wouldn’t live it again 
And I felt flattened, raw 
Til I was thirty five in the great thaw
And it’s an age I haven’t reached as of yet 
But it’s also something I cannot forget 
And she was it all to me 
Twenty years since I saw myself future hence
Living with her in the past tense 
And it cuts like a knife 
To know that he and his wife
Are no longer around 
And every breath relays the sound 
Of the emptiness of a chair 
And the person that once sat there 
It’s purple and maroon 
And there was once life in that room 
And saying goodbye nearly killed my soul 
So I just roll 
With the tidal waves 
And the people nothing saves 
Except the angels who come to collect 
The edges of the dreams I have wrecked
I lay on the floor 
Of the bathroom I abhor 
Near the ward in Roscommon Hospital 
But there’s nothing soothing about the cross of it all 
Because I know what’s coming 
And she half raised this young ‘un
And the nightmare is that it’s true
And I know there’s is no keeping you 
Not in the way things were before 
Then I realised something about you, mo stór
My grandmother’s prayers are still protecting me 
Even when it seems life is rejecting me 
I have another fifty years to go to reach the age of depart 
And I thought my whole heart 
Went with you when you go 
Didn’t realise it meant that you stay with me though 
Because the thump thump in my chest 
Still holds the strings of those I love best
And the glass shatters all over the tiles
And I pick them up for miles and miles 
Because there is a coffin across the road 
And I can’t escape the road 
That we all must take 
Til I collapse and wake 
At the wake 
And the person I will not forsake 
Not for all the money or the tea in China 
Is that all it will take to remind ya 
That love lasts forever 
Not a memory of a lost endeavour 
That sank to the bottom of the ocean 
And all this emotion 
Comes in waves 
Like seasons come in days
Slowly, bit by bit 
I come to know who I’m walking with

A Message To My Tormentor

.Reading time 6 minutes.
A message to my tormentor, you know the one I try to protect 
I look up and the whole dream is wrecked 
Because I was perfect, I was pristine 
I was the ruler, I was the queen 
But then everything turned the dice on its head 
And I was screaming as I lay in bed 
Because I could feel my mind separate 
From the man I would love to date
And it was as though someone had taken my knife
And carved a chasm between husband and wife
And I just lay there and silently toiled
I was to the rescue but I was embroiled 
In all of what tried to tear us apart 
I was in UCD when the pain thought to start 
And nothing like Darragh or Marian too 
Could prevent the onset if what I couldn’t do 
To myself or to you 
So I ran for the hills 
Because this is the kind of thing that kills
And the track was dusty and red 
And I begged you to tell someone instead
And you did 
And I may have hid 
For years from your sight 
But I was watching that you were alright 
And I could feel the wrecking ball hit me where it hurt
And I would be left sprawling in the dirt
Then the boy with the beautiful smile 
Told me he’d like to hold me for a while 
And I was safe in his arms
But then all the alarms 
Rang in St. Pat’s 
In the years I was afraid of baseball bats
So I just do what they say
Take the meds they prescribe so I can find a church to pray
And there was a little chapel 
Beside the canteen and Eve ate the apple 
They had gifted to her 
But it doesn’t make me forget the Eden we were 
For a moment in time 
And I want him to know that he is sublime 
And no devil or rodent or snake or tail 
Can shake the foundation of what I let fail 
And it was Gareth Brooks 
And one for the books 
As I sipped a Coke 
And laughed along like I was in on the joke 
But secretly I choke 
And bless the place that gave me sanctuary 
And helped me get away from you and me 
The register said something about ambiguity 
And my insecurity 
Has me chasing Shauna around 
And asking her if she heard the sound 
She looks at me like I’m not well 
And also like I’m onto something she cannot tell 
So I back off but when she needs a friend 
I jump over the fence she thought to mend 
Like a wall between two neighbours who walk
But both of us know that it is all talk 
And she holds my hands
She is five years younger than me but she understands
What it means to be bereft 
And she told me something about someone and their theft 
Of her innocent pure 
But I want her to know that the cure
Lies in the heart in her chest 
It beats still fervently and knows her best
Better than the wolf at the gate
Or the people she has come to hate
And I still fear the loss of the man 
Because I know it’s his life and I know that he can 
Do whatever he wants
And it’s the kind of freedom that haunts
Every word that I write 
And leaves me exiled to a silent night 
When I think he is already gone 
So I play that song 
Over and over and they sharpen the blade
That would have you and I in the shade 
And I rage 
And let them take me to hell 
Because every ringing bell 
Just signals doomsday in my mind 
So don’t worry that I’ve left you behind 
I’m just trying to ruin the machine 
And break what would take the slate from the dream 
And I falter and kneel
At the foot of what you feel 
Because to you its real 
And I would steal 
It all away if I could 
So that that look could not draw blood 
Because you are the quintessence of good 
And I meet you in the wood 
When all the noise dies down
And you say something about a beautiful gown 
As I take it off 
Our hands touch and all is not lost

Human Again

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I feel like human again now there’s a chink in the chain 
And you know you’re from Ireland if you trust the rain 
To always fall
There used to be a Berlin Wall
To separate the East from West
Like they separate me from the one who knows me best
And they trap me in a cage 
So I let it rage on a page
All the good they ever did
Was just to confirm that I’m His
Am I crazy
Do I let it faze me 
Or just let it raise me 
From the dead
And I lay in my bed
In Dean Swift 
And Emmett said whisht
Don’t worry your little head 
And he all but winked at me instead 
As I lay there and just stared 
But I dared 
To cross a line 
That was so fine
As a pen with a nib
Can I ad lib 
And find a quote 
That I could float 
Did you know that I wished 
You were not a star that I missed
As I shoot past your gate 
And I may have learned to hate
The gatekeepers at the door
But you’re something I adore 
And the fallaway floor
Let’s me out again 
I call it men
But really it’s human kind 
And women want equality
But it’s revenge that’s on my mind 
For the guy that took me down 
And now it’s an ocean that I drown 
In my wide open air 
Is there any proof that I was there 
When the final crack of the whip 
Split my lip 
And I bleed words into the abyss
Why do I still miss
Someone who did that to me 
And if you’re chained to the sky are you free
Like Dylan says 
I’m not sure anyone is listening anyways

Asking You Jesus

.Reading time 4 minutes.
I disappear into the silence
And it is a form of violence
To let no one know 
That I am letting go 
Of my tenuous connection to reality 
For an inoculation from this insanity 
Everyone clicks like 
Meanwhile there is a spike 
In the suicides in the area and I just want to scream 
It’s the end of somebody’s dream 
And maybe all they needed was a hand to hold 
Or someone to have told 
Them that they’re worth it 
I wish they didn’t have to hurt, it 
Is so unfair 
Because I’ve been there 
It was in the mists, long ago 
But I know
I know 
And there’s just this pause
When you realise that all is lost 
And all the compassion in the world 
Couldn’t save the girl 
From her fate
I ate what was on my dinner plate
And they drove me away 
Storm after storm until I couldn’t say 
What was winter and what was just plain cold 
Life’s a bitch when you’re made of gold
And everyone craves your Midas touch 
I told the boy I love him so much 
But he just tells me to fuck off 
A few years before a common cough 
Could spark panic in the collective zone
I think I wrecked it on the phone 
When I tried to pour my heart’s blood
Onto a floor that was too good
To ever be a non stick pan 
I just wanted him to know what I am 
Meanwhile I’m sitting in the ward with Sarah 
And I care, ah 
Now she is shaking 
And all staff are just baking 
Their cakes in the oven 
So I stand up to their anti loving 
And go over and sit with her 
Put my arm around what we never were 
And tell her it’s okay
She tells me to go away 
But I stay 
And I feel it fall into the abyss 
And the dart shoots but it miss 
Her beautiful self 
I died so you could have someone else 
By your side when the times get rough 
Isn’t Jesus all about love
And psychosis may be a diagnosis 
But I ghosted that doctor who was too precocious 
For his own wealth 
And he can’t categorise my mental health 
In a trail of ink 
And the man threw the sink 
Out of its cage 
And I rage 
As we’re baking bread 
I would stay just to free you from your head
And you write in your diary 
But its a new earth and I’m firey 
But I won’t burn down 
Not while there’s still people in this town 
Got to get them out 
So I let God have my mouth 
To utter the Word 
I let it be and let it be heard

The Angel That Kissed Me

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I don’t know what it is but something needs o be done
Because there are people dying young
From a disease that no one can see
They say it’s mental illness but I don’t think we 
Are defunct in any sort of way
We are just sensitive to the play
Of light and form on the screen of life
And people tick boxes like a job and wife
And a car and a two point five
Like those things mean you are alive
Is it any wonder that there are those who want to die
Who hide the way they cry 
From everyone so no one can see
And that once was the girl I call me 
But something woke me up
And now I want to share that love 
With anyone who has faded to grey 
And finds the flatness worse than anything words could say 
And is it adult to falter on the brink 
Of the things we dare not think 
To be confused and afraid to even breathe
In case someone doesn’t get what they need 
From what we hold out in our hands 
And in the past people wanted lands
Now they colonise our minds 
And taunt us with what’s been left behind 
But the eternal moment of Now
Has become enough for me somehow
And I try to explain to a priest
The meaning of the deceased 
But he doesn’t get it 
So I say; “forget it”
And let the river pull me away
From everything they say 
To the winter in me 
It kind of feels like being set free
To feel the wind in my hair 
And know that I am there 
In the subterfuge and release 
I wonder do they notice the crease
In my dress but I let it be seen 
And look up from the dream 
As I fall into reality 
I feel the Universe forgiving me

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Each Grain Of Sand

.Reading time 1 minute.
It’s a nightmare we’re all dreaming
And somewhere the children are screaming
And it aches in my heart and it pulls at my soul
Something crushes the begging bowl
And flattens the land
The hills and valleys that used to understand 
All the movement and all the sighs
I watch a brother break as his sibling dies
And his wails of pain seem all to familiar to me
Because I know the crushing weight of the sea
As it pummels the shore 
What is left to adore
In this broken world
And if I am just a girl
How do I effect change
But I watch the stars rearrange
Every season in the sky
As I ask God why
He could allow such things
And if the spirit has wings
Does it fly away from here
When it’s separated from the ones we hold dear
In a man made disaster
And there is no plaster
Than can fix bullet holes 
And we’re all just supposed to play our roles
In this great big cosmic machine
And I thank God that it is just a dream
As I rouse to wake
The people that die for humanity’s sake 
I feel something break
And go free in me
Are we doomed to repeat history
Or can we be the change we want to see
If there’s a man in the mirror it starts with me

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The Pain And The Peace

.Reading time 3 minutes.
There is pain and there is peace
And there is a moment where both cease
To mean anything at all
And I’m staring at a wall
Just tap tapping my pen 
And I feel it all again 
And it is as though the universe rehearse
The plaid shirt poetry in my verse 
As it speaks to me through life
And I always thought I’d be a wife
But that doesn’t seem to be my thing 
I would prefer truth over a ring 
And I can’t condense this immaculate soul 
Into something that is just a role
For there is love and there is joy
But can I tie myself to a boy
Forevermore
And forsake the soul I adore
Or is there a way he can open the expanse
So that both our spirits will dance
Together in unison 
But he just chooses to get his gun
And shoot at cacti in the desert 
I question his poor self worth 
But he doesn’t seem to be inclined to rise
And settles like sand at the bottom of my eyes
And the glass is half empty, never full 
I bathe his wounds with cotton wool 
So it will not inflict too much pain 
But how can a man stand this much rain 
And I know the fields are green so 
There is much that will grow 
And an abundance of fertility 
And for all his virility 
I can’t put my finger on what isn’t gone 
I just know I can’t ignore our song 
As I pull back from the book and gram 
Some metaverse serving someone’s plan 
In the ether 
It’s not me either 
It’s a seed to sow 
I hold on, just so you know 
And though you beg me to let go 
It’s just not in my make up 
So why don’t you just wake up 
And see the sky above your head 
it will keep you from the dread 
That forms moats around your castles 
And I know you want a girl with tassels 
But I don’t think that’s what I am 
I said to him as I hold his hand 
And in confusion iridescent blue 
Meets my own in a new hue 

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The Litany Of Truth

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I try to block the truth from reaching me 
And all the universe is teaching me 
Has to turn into a baseball bat
Instead of the original welcome mat
He offered me love in the extreme
And though it was a part of the dream 
It had something real to it too 
And I realised I was in love with you 
But I turned away
Because what is it that people say
We are too different to make it work 
And you are bathed in the hurt
You’ve spent your whole life accumulate
And you’ve let it make you hate 
People you don’t understand 
But you’re beautiful and I love you, man 
And I know the dial will turn to spin on me 
So I let you go free
And I feel your resignation and resolution
But you know that is no solution 
So I have to intervene 
Did you hear me scream 
When my brain came apart in two 
That was life splitting me from you
And we both fragmented into an entangled particle 
And people start to call me “some article” 
But I don’t mind 
Because I have not left you behind 
You’re still in my soul 
Like the bed of truth and rock and roll 
And it doesn’t matter, come what may
I’ll sing this song to you and you’ll wake and say
I love you Laura 
And as I read your aura 
It will speak volumes of colour
And all that made you duller 
Will lift and release
And we will make that beast 
Retract into its cave
Go back into the dark so grave 
Like the boy I could not save
He became the man I crave

It’s The Little Things

.Reading time 1 minute.
It’s the little things
Like wedding rings
And fire that ignite
And I hear that you like
What you see
And when the person is me
I blush and then sigh
And I don’t say goodbye
To you again
Coz I’ve made my peace with the notion of men
How you can’t show affection
Without them wanting to add you to their collection
Of dolls sitting on the wall
But that isn’t me at all
Except when I’m walking by the rows
And the feeling shows 
As I smirk 
And I didn’t think that this would work
But it does 
And the story starts because
I let you in the door
When I’m walking on the ground floor
Of the building grey
But the door unlocks when you say
Hello to me
I didn’t think that I would be
Clutching at straws at thirty three

Didn’t See That One Coming!

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Did you not notice you already buried me 
I say to her as she sets me free 
Of her bullet strung chain 
That she shakes around herself in vain 
Because I’m like the white horse that’s gotten away 
And there’s nothing she can say 
That will hold me there now 
And somehow 
I know this will be the last time her oppression 
Tries to elicit a confession 
From my lips 
And I always liked eclipse 
But the thread is always there to fray
And its like what you say
I already know 
That’s why I’m letting you go

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Broken Arrows

.Reading time 1 minute.
She uses broken arrows to fire at me 
Then says that she sets me free 
But her archery is not second place
And she knows how to deface 
A wall with her spray paint eyes 
And bulletproof disguise
And we’ll never be what we were 
Because you cracked the crisp leaf beside her 
And stabbed me in the front (only enemies stab you in the back)
Still though your love don’t mean jack 
Not now, not anymore
And I’ll always have affection for you, mo stór
But our two by two is now shattered glass 
Because you thought he just wanted ass 
And so you sought to protect
Me from being a reject
But in seeing me in the lowest terms
I set fire to the hay and it burns 
Up all the crackling grass
And she said that this too shall pass
But she’s not the one who has to live through the story 
I know she’ll just ignore me 
If I try to press my case
So I fall silent in the land gone to waste
And spill it all out onto a page
All my bubbling pain and held back rage 
When she’s in the room 
I don’t know, you echo the bells of doom 

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Echo Your Name

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I walked on the eggshells of not knowing where to look 
Should I do this one by the book 
Or throw the rules out of the window 
I know she has her eyes on him though 
As I spy her through my eyeglass
And we both agree that Darragh is class 
And maybe I shouldn’t mention his name 
But he’ll only see this when I’m way high and fame 
Has taken me to the door 
Of all the people I love but mo stór 
Let me tell you you were epic 
And I hope I didn’t wreck it
And that somewhere in your heart
You still have me on start 
And hit go every now and then 
I look up and worship as you say Amen 
To the starshot in my eyes
I almost dropped the disguise
When she asked me which guy I liked 
And my courage almost spiked 
But then I just deflect 
I think she knows though, I suspect
And it was over ten years ago 
Time passes (most people don’t know)
But something’s eternal, something’s ever there
Like the way I know you care 
As we walk the dark path into the grounds
Of the apartment complex and all the sounds
Fall to the silence of our footsteps
I cried that night into my own regret
And it was one of the first few days I started writing again 
In the end something begin 
And I went chasing after Haley’s comet
But someone else is already on it 
So I just wrote this note to say
I still think of you, okay 
Even if it’s though the moonbeams 
And the dresses that are ripped at the seams 
Because they took their cutting scissors to them
Still, I wish I could play you again 

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Childhood Haunts

.Reading time 2 minutes.
There are childhood haunts 
They rise up and grip 
And I am myself when I let the mask slip 
Like Keyz and I playing Freespace
And all the years that went to waste 
Just soaking in the sun 
When I met the man I love I run 
And I don’t know why that is 
Because I’ve always been his 
And if I could only explain to her
What we were 
I think she could understand 
It wasn’t like I had anything planned
I just know what soul speaks 
And I count the years, months and weeks 
Since we’ve last talked
Since you walked 
And the demons sat on the edge of my consciousness 
The doctor said I was “in distress”
But he doesn’t know jack 
And I want my freedom back 
The freedom to feel, to wreak havoc or hell
Without people telling me I’m unwell 
As they submerge what’s only tide
And try to kill what is alive
In me
But I’ll always be 
This girl of colour and plunging dark 
It’s from the night where rises the spark 
And it visits me again and again 
One day it’s a bird, next it’s men 
And then 
I realise I won’t settle 
Thorny as a rose and stinging like a nettle 
But somehow singing like a kettle 
When you put me on boil 
Or is that just what it is to be a Coyle 

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The Bark Of The Tree

.Reading time 1 minute.
How do people get like that, is it believing that the age you are 
Is anything more than revolutions around a star 
And I may be thirty three
But I’ve never been more free
As they put handcuffs on me
And tell me to preserve my dignity 
If I want to shine 
But I’m self effulgent and love is mine 
Though you wouldn’t know it from my visage
Don’t feel bad
It isn’t all your fault 
I kicked you out of the vault 
After letting the key slip into your hand 
And now I demand 
That you break like a wave upon my shore 
If you want me to love you more 
But it’s just like listening to the scene 
She wakes her own dream 
Up from where it lay
And I don’t get a say
About the perforate you opened 
And something is hoping
In what you never were to me 
I take a moment and I just be  

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Gone To Find An Atmosphere

.Reading time 1 minute.
I search my memory for some remnants of pain 
But when I find them it is in vain 
Because they don’t reflect the sky like they used to 
And though I’m superhuman I still bruise too 
And you can see the blue through my translucent skin 
Is it wrong if I say it was because of him
Because he silences my voice, puts a hand over my mouth 
Til I don’t have a choice but to dwell in self doubt
Is this the gaslit anthem or just some season that falls
In the autumn down the halls
Of the ceremony we once were
Now I watch you bow to her
And I won’t stand in competition 
So you say to her the bitch is gone 
I can hear it in your tone
When you talk to me on the phone 
Through clenched teeth
As I try to share the beach
That got me through a sparser climate
But you are an intelligent primate
And you can make your own decision now 
If you break the heart that I allow
To fall into your hands
Is it my fault that slipping sands 
Can’t be stayed by frantic movement 
And when you find the Divine you cannot improve it

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The Silent Whisper Of Grace

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I thought God could only ever be found
In the complete absence of sound 
In the silence that descends 
On my room as the riverbends
From lavender to primrose and flame 
And I wake up from my name 
And it all seems so perfect, true
Til I met you
And it all cascaded down
You wanted to run my town 
So you could have a girl in the wings
And, my, you love the way she sings 
But you don’t understand her
And you demand her
To be as you would please
Up on her tiptoes or down on her knees
But neither one will ever be me
So I let you go free
Though I love you with all of my heart
I won’t make pain just to make art
Or love
Or fit like a glove
Into a biological cog
I dream of a fire burning a log
While we lie on the rug before it
And you know I would adore it
A blanket made just for two 
But it never was me and you
We spit fire into each other’s veins
And in the aftermath cleaned up the bloodstains
On the carpet where we fought
It was in darkness that the ring was wrought 
And cascaded into eternity
You asked me to burn with thee 
But I let go that crime 
And am absorbed into the sublime 
And even if they don’t get me here 
It doesn’t mean I’ll run to you dear 
If you make a fool of me 
When I just wanted life school and mystery 
To encompass all we were
I dropped the glass when I saw her
And it broke and shattered on the floor
You don’t even hide that you adore
Another pair of eyes
And my trust in you dies 
Slowly but surely in the awe 
That you could begin the Great Thaw

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Arms Around My Soul

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Did you make a mistake telling me to go to hell
And now all you want to shout is that you wish me well
After all the evidence to the contrary
Now you hold vigils and pray to Mother Mary
But you don’t find any answers there
At least not the ones that make you care 
And I spilled truth like ink 
All over the kitchen sink 
And you balked at its black, viscous flavour 
And I looked at you as though you were my saviour 
But you only saw the war 
And you crucified me for 
What you sought to keep 
Now it haunts you in your sleep 
And you can’t get my voice out of your mind
It whispers to you as to what you’ve left behind
And your bed is warm 
But you look so forlorn 
At the shape that sleeps beside you in the sheets
And you wonder if two people ever meet 
On a level playing field 
And I feel you hate me so I yield 
To the tide of going away
It isn’t indifference that made me sway
And let the ribbon float into the air 
It’s because I loved the man that was there 

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The Brigade And The Cavalry

.Reading time 2 minutes.
She has to have noise
Like I have to have boys
Because when it gets too silent it blocks out the light
And she realises she is not alright 
So she scrolls on her phone 
Even though she is all alone 
And somewhere in the forest of tears
She finds the reason for all these years 
Spent in resistance to the cause
Spent in fury at a life on pause
And I can only dance
And hope that she gets a second chance
To be all she thinks she is 
But one thing’s for sure is that I am His
And she worries the thread
Frays it as she lies in bed
For the trouble of what amounts 
To the lies that she surmounts 
In order to maintain a coherent frame
And I cannot even mention his name 
Or it sets off a torrent of words 
To make sure the truth goes unheard
And that holy bird
Learns to live on a silent wing 
Because I gave him everything 
And I’m not taking it back 
Though they attack 
Me from every front and place
For daring to love his face
When the pretence drop 
And I am not 
The words she uses to condense 
Everything into the present tense 
It’s humiliating 
As if he’s just some guy I’m dating 
On the sly
And the reason why
Is more than she’s ever known 
She thinks she quenched it but the seeds that are sown
Only flourish in the darkest earth
And everything she uses to hurt
Me with 
For being a “bitch”
In modern parlance 
Is nothing, darlin’ 
I just brush it off
And whisper to him “all is not lost” 

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Crime And Punishment

.Reading time 1 minute.
How about goodbye
And you made me feel like I wanna die
So I close the door
Pretend I don’t love you anymore
But I do
It’s always you
Amid the curtains pulled
And the pain, it dulled
As the years passed
But I wanted it to last 
So I would have something to hold onto 
But your love stuck like glue 
In my heart
And though we are miles apart
And time and space
None of it is gone to waste 
Because I would do it a thousand times over
Just to find your four leafed clover
Growing in the grass
And I loved to learn in class
But nobody taught me a lesson like you 
I’m just not sure I wanted to
Let you go 
And I know
That everyone dies 
And the child cries
When her grandfather passes 
And it’s the wisdom of the masses
To mourn and then move on 
But there is a hole where he is gone 
And nothing can repair it
I dare it
To swallow me whole
But my soul 
Just grows more vast 
And life asked
Me to be free
So I let go and eternity
Came to kiss my lips 
In the middle of an eclipse 
Where all was night 
But in the darkness shone a light 
And nothing can drench it 
Nothing can quench it
No pulling thread
Can unmake where I made my bed

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The Epic Of Mine

.Reading time 2 minutes.
The epic story of the oddessying hero
If you want a race I’ll make it to zero
Before you do if I find the words
I’ve my feet on the ground but I’m away with the birds
And I found myself locked in a room
They tell me I’ll be out pretty soon
But it’s like they’re caging the beast
And it’s roaring for a feast
Tearing me to pieces inside
I drop the walls I used to hide
And all of the people were magnificently pure
And I’m integrity that just endure
As they’re listing reasons I’m not well
But I’m full of a secret I daren’t tell
As I wonder why the guy is wearing shades
As we meditate upon a page
And it’s like a story that’s never been told
I wonder will I weather it when I get old
Or will these days leave a track
On skin that can’t take it back
And I’m always waiting for her to care
But she just shakes me outta her hair
And tells me it’s for the best
So I set sail on my own quest
And if I’m a hero why do I die
On my own with a sigh
Then pull myself up onto my knees
To answer all the pleas
I hear in my mind
I wonder at the life I left behind
And if anyone will set out on my track
Coz, Lord knows, I’m not coming back
And I’m weary but I’m also full of hope
The kind of optimism that copes
With every setback that waylays
And I’ve learned to take a grain of salt on days
As it meanders in a thousand ways
Across plains and by open bays
Into the avenues I know
And this train never slows
Only takes me by the hand and shows
The light the window throws
And if you’re indifferent to my plight
You gotta know that I’m alright

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The Divine Death

.Reading time 1 minute.
I keep holding out
For the Divine Death
The one that time
Cannot forget
You can all it enlightenment 
You can call it liberation
But I woke up
From my own education 
Only to go on
Picking up stones
Going from place to place
And calling it home
And I’ve always been a rambler 
Out for adventure
But I’m struggling
With my own self censure
Coz there are lines
With which you do not agree
And I can only point it out
I can’t make you see
And you’re drinking 
Bottled water from the tap
And I keep wondering
What are you at
But it’s a mystery to me
All these flicking pages
And I’ve been wandering 
For ages and ages
Trying to catch your trail
As it winds through the undergrowth 
I’m tired walking
The less travelled road
Searching for something
I cannot find
Missing what
I’ve left behind 

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The Graveyard

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
We could all be under earth pretty soon 
Am I the only one who hears the noise in the room
When it’s silent as hell
And there’s all these people wishing me well
But I can’t help but feel that it all pull asunder
The rattling windows to the sound of thunder
As it all caves in
And who would win
When the triumph is naught
It’s like some disease that we’ve caught
That makes us capable to kill
And at will
The degenerate
Comes to pull apart the state
Of affairs and of the mind
I swore I would leave no one behind 

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When They Try To Control

.Reading time 1 minute.
When people implore me with their eyes
But I don’t care who dies
Because I have seen beyond the form
And what happens when the body warm
Soon turns cold and depart
The spirit leaves by the heart
And returns to join it’s immortal core
They struggle to say I love you more
In their attempts at suppression
Some kind of drive at oppression
Til I’m twenty nine and in confession
As the priest says this will be your last aggression
But I just can’t muster up the energy to say
I’m saving it for another day
Because everything is now
And somehow
In the forest of storm 
I found that which was never born
And so can never leave this earth
The something beyond the hurt
And though they try to scratch and claw
They are no match for the Great Thaw
That is unfolding humanly 
On the planet and undoing me
Well the “me” I thought I was
It does not abide by laws
But sits in it’s own sweet soul 
And tells the waves to roll and roll
They will still meet the beach
If this is what it is to teach
Then call my words silent prose
This is the less travelled road

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A Starship Far Away

.Reading time 1 minute.
Somehow there is a starship far away
And it is hidden in every day
In the midst of meals and courses
In the midst of screaming fights, divorces
And I call that love, it’s a futile road
To ever carry that heavy load 
They call life
And every wife
Knows the weight
Of hiding in her husbands hate
As he trudges through the snow
Pretending he is in the know
And I’m taking apart an institution
Because it is in my constitution
And I always wanted to be a newly wed
So I could share somebody’s bed
But that dream has faded 
And I’m jaded
At thirty three
Like I swore I’d never be
I’d follow every dream to its resolution
But now it seems the only solution
Is to let it go
And rest and know
That every cloud has its silver lining 
And I’m one who is undefining 
What it means to be woman and grown
I plunge into the unknown 
And come out smelling of roses
I didn’t realise that I chose this 
Over a life of steady familiarity 
Rooted in the ground like a deep tree
So steady in its being 
But there’s something else I’m seeing 
In the mists of time 
It’s you and I and we are fine 
Just as we are 
Behind every black hole is a hidden star 

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The Darkest Shame

.Reading time 2 minutes.
The darkest shame is that I followed the clues 
That I thought would lead me to you 
And there were blue chalked streets and bears 
They say the fabric of my sanity tears
When I believe in secret tomes
And become one who roams 
The avenues of misty eyed tears
As the date nears 
And I cannot bear the truth
So I pulverise my own youth
By putting myself in their hands
Now after slipping sands 
Have run the hourglass down
I still feel like I want to drown 
Some where in all this emotion
It’s as though the road is an ocean 
I cannot climb into 
And it becomes a sprint to
The door
And I couldn’t have loved them more 
But somehow I feel the wilderness in my bones
And I refuse to answer my two phones 
When they call out to me
And I could’ve missed our history
In the avenue I let bleed
Because I know you need
Who I used to be
But its just that they have destroyed me 
In their attempts to keep the dark away
I just lay in the bay 
And it was not San Francisco 
Or some kind of cool fuckin’ disco 
It was like being drawn on a string 
So he could live on everything 
He ever thought he was 
And I take the hit because
I want him to be sky high
And not afraid to die 
A death on the floor 
I just want to prove I love him more 

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Reservoirs Of It

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I delved into the dark of night
And somehow I came out alright
Like that bright blue rose
I wandered the streets and I chose
Life over death
But I cannot forget 
The things I saw
And I blame everything on the great thaw
And I took a comic worth 50 cent
Out of a box and away I went 
But I felt bad and I repaid 
The charity for my shade
And you can say it was poor mental health
But I still felt the cards were dealt
Harshly and I take a couple hundred euro 
And leave it in an envelope to secure ya 
In my attempt at redemption 
I actually never told the priest at the intervention
But it was because I had forgotten 
And because I sensed I was not well gotten 
By that particular son of Christ 
So I said what I could splice
And took my shit and ran 
And the only place that can 
Fail to make a demon of me 
Is the place where the hellish ghouls were set free
And they came to devour what they could 
I swore that they wanted blood
And the psychiatrist said it was just my mind 
And that sanity was only something I could find 
In pills and therapy 
But the silence gets the best of me 
When I sit across from a nurse
Asking me how it might have hurt
And all I can think is that his eyes are oceans 
And they convey seafaring waves of emotion
And if he was a colour it would be green 
Like the t-shirt he wears and all we could have been 
If only he had been single
And I had been coherent enough to mingle 
But I take the easy route 
As my lover plays the flute 
Somewhere far away and I see
That it’s only cloaking the mystery 
To realise 
That even the beautiful dies
When faced with its own fragility
I let them wound the hurt in me

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The Achilles Heel

.Reading time 1 minute.
The Achilles Heel
Is that I know how you feel
And I spilt those words
Not because I’m away with the birds
But because I wanted you to know
You’re not alone when you move slow
Like a glacier cutting through rock
And I pretended to be something I’m not 
And there’s only so long I can keep it up
Like the sound of you and her making love
It echoes in my mind 
I try to leave it behind 
But it’s imprinted like a dice
That rolled on me for being too nice
To you when you would have devoured
All of the women that you empowered 
With your subtle soul 
And a boy becomes man when he gets old
But I don’t think I like 
Being the wrong side of your spite
And when you bite
Your teeth sink in
That is why I am not with him 

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The Agony Of Being Pure At Heart

.Reading time 2 minutes.
She brushed past me like I meant nothing at all
To her and I stare at the wall
Something has erected between us
Have we wrecked it or did we dream it
And she is ethereal and she is true
But dare I spill my heart to you
Because I can see all your flaws
And the places where the sun thaws
All your ice into fluid water 
And no daughter 
Is exactly like what has come before 
I open the door
And you’re still behind it
I know I’m aloof but I wouldn’t mind it
It’s just a detachment I cultivate
So no one can read my state 
And who I am 
Just dropped outside the plan 
When I was fourteen years old
And wouldn’t do what I was told
I collapsed on the floor
And an open door
Let me out of the dark
And yet I still bear the mark 
Of those two months in depression
It is my ardent confession 
That it was for love of loss
That I took up my cross
And walked with it to Calvary 
I know he didn’t mean to startle me
When he just saw my truth
And I may have been a youth
But I am also ancient, old 
Must I wait until the story is told
To reveal the core
Beyond all the “I love you more”
I just want him to know exactly who I am 
And Kilglass may never win Sam 
But I give my heart and soul to the team 
In the years I’d build a dream 
Til a voice on the sideline 
Puts me on for a minute of time
And the embarrassment colours my skin 
Like talking on the phone to him 
When he pulls the rug I shared out from under me
And if he’s setting me free
I’m gonna fly away
Not wait around for what he’s gonna say 
About my season 
If women are love and men are reason 
Give me compassion any day
And let the rest just fade away

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Beautiful Disaster

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I found beauty in the trauma
And the flora and fauna 
Were hidden from me 
In the dark forest of history
And she enclosed me with a snare
It was almost as if I wasn’t there 
When she sent the splinter into my side
Did she really not want me to be alive
Because she did her best to trump the card
Did she realise she made things so very hard
And I was just a teen 
But I wanted to exit the dream 
By any ways and means 
And I’m sewing a dress but the seams
Keep busting and they won’t fit 
And there are no boys I want to hit
On anymore
The dark expanse was the door 
Into a greater purveyance
And the conveyance
Was suffering and pain 
Til I opened my arms to the rain 
And instead of getting wet
A sun broke that I cannot forget 
In my darkest night
I became the light 
Of the only and ever one
If you feel you are coming undone 
Then you are on the right track
And somehow I cannot go back 
To what I was
I know this because
I have tried
And I hide
My new found skin
With everyone except with him 
He just touched me paper thin 
And I realised destiny was a sin 
I long to make with his touch 
And I love him so very much 
Though he may never know
I thought he should so I let the bird go
And fly across the sea
To where he lay in grey mystery 
Just pondering a solace
But it was a volatile
Explosion in the moment of us
And though it hurt I still trust 
In the infinity that we are 
If you burn then let that star
Combust in its own atmosphere 
That’s how you know that God is near

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Wrecking Ball

.Reading time 1 minute.
There was a demon I saw in her 
It let go and destroyed what we were 
And it’s belligerence knocked buildings and homes
Til I was in a room crying all alone 
And trying to find even keel 
Because of all this weight that I feel
And I try to tell souls but they don’t care
Or they don’t understand because they weren’t there
When it all went down 
As she screams into her cup
And I have had enough
Of that rejection
So I depart from natural selection
And find my own ground
It is a peaceful sound 
In my room all alone
And I lock the darkness out of my phone 
Because I gravitate 
Towards the light that equivocate
The messes I have made
And if you’re a tree do you love shade
Just because that’s what you cast
I didn’t think this thing would last
So very long 
And I know I look strong
But the wind knows the weakness in my knees
The foibles in what I believe 
To be true
Why do I still trust you?

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My Time As A Drifter

.Reading time 1 minute.
My time as a drifter 
And the time he wanted to shift her 
In Hillstreet in the dark 
And I lost a part
Of myself when I agreed 
To the part of me that it freed
In the lines in between 
It was the worst part of the dream 
I had just been set free from the blocks
And I was all about breaking locks 
And seeing how far I could take it 
But I didn’t mean to wake it
Up from where it lay
And it is not okay 
That when the dragon breathes fire
You blame me for the post that I conspire
To burn in my flame 
I am not within my name 
I am barely brimming at the edges 
And I can see over the hedges 
As the man trims them with his machine 
And I am who I’ve always been 
But that seems to do me no good
If I can only find salvation in the wood
And when I’m on my own 
If I could’ve I would’ve known 
Twenty years ago 
But it took time for the life to show 
Through the facade of the veil 
And I set sail 
On a foreign sea 
To find the part of me 
That I lost in the melee
Do you think you could just be a friend to me? 

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At The Bottom Of The Ocean

.Reading time 2 minutes.

***Trigger Warning – Mental Health Content***


There was that time I was at the bottom of the ocean
The weight of the sky held all my emotion 
And it was burden to me
Until the day I was set free
Like some kind of ennui to fly
But some part of me wanted to die 
It held me like a vicegrips 
I let go and something slips
Into the abyss 
Is it that I miss 
The point of modern existence
So much so that my reference is met with resistance
To what it is 
And I will never be his 
Not now, not anymore
Not since he closed that door 
The one I had opened to let him in 
But the grave is solemn as our sin
As we barely make it through
There were days I screamed at you
And my family bled me dry 
For the crime of wanting to try
To climb to the sky
And sometimes I wonder why 
They condemned me to an education 
In their version of the situation 
Where I am the betrayer of the light 
The one they crack my knuckles with at night 
In tune with the rhythm 
Of their own great schism 
The one that pulls
There is a pain that never dulls
Not sharp and quick 
But one you live with and it’s a bitch 
Much more so than the submerge
And I am on the verge
Of letting go 
And opening to the place I can’t know 
The deep and vast spaciousness pure
If only I could know for sure
What it was 
Like I did before I learned their laws 





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The Apparent Solidity
		

		
.Reading time 1 minute.

		

			

The apparent solidity of matter is an illusion
And there seems to be some confusion 
Over what it means 
When sages says that its just one of those dreams
That seems to linger
And the finger
Pointing to the moon
Cannot come to soon
But do not mistake 
It for a freedom you cannot fake 
You know when you’ve been deceived
It happens when there’s something you believed 
Rather than known 
And the flowers grown 
And in full bloom 
Can fragrance a room 
So it is with you
I’m telling you coz you want me to 
Deep in your heart
There is something no one can tear apart
Not with knives and scissors 
Not with hacksaws and chisels
It lives in a domain
Beyond the realm of pain
And the Bible speaks of the Valley
In the Shadow of Death and any
One who disputes
That it encroaches on the resolute 
Must be wrong 
Because when I was strong
I felt it multiply
I was so afraid to die 
But when the midnight came
I was simply not the same 
And surrendered the ghost
To the Light I love the most 
It is my Jesus true 
And He asked me to share Him with you 

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
The Castle In The Sky
		

		
.Reading time 1 minute.

		

			






He bullied me into letting go
And I fell into the snow
And it was icy cold
Can I be brave, can I be bold? 
And just speak my own truth
Reflected through the prism of youth
That is growing long
But still I believe that strong
Comes with age
If you do not allow it to turn the page
On the fiercest of you 
If my heart means anything too
It will continue to burn a hole
Through the veil that hides the soul 
From the masses
And the classes
That I aced
Were nothing to the glory of his face
When it was revealed to me
He tried to steal into what it means to me
But it cannot be undone
Once you’ve seen the sun
You cannot unmake it
And I would never forsake it
Not for a pretty boy
That uses females like a toy
To play with in the day
But in the night it goes away
And he is mired in loss and pain
And learns to live with the rain
That pummels the skin
I told him that if he let me in
I could make it better
And the weather
Would pass
But our moment didn’t last
As he sold me out for someone else
And claimed that mental health
Is more important than truth
My God, life can be such a brute
But it will reveal itself to you
If you let the web fall through
Into the long lost water 
I am no wife, I am no daughter
I am no female set free
I am what I’ll always be 





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Awake Inside The Dream
		

		
.Reading time 1 minute.

		

			










Did we make it this far
To be awake within the dream 
The firefights and storms
The illusion as it seems 
And the trapping of delusion
Spreads its grasp 
And I wonder how long 
This darkness can last 
But somehow the sun breaks 
And something within me wakes 
To spell the end of the old domination 
And I’ve learned more through my miseducation 
Than I ever could through books
i steal in glances and furtive looks 
All that is needed to contain
Sometimes the solution is in the pain
That seems to encase the human race
Nothing is bad but that it shows another face
To the sky 
And we are all gonna die
Someday 
But when we live do we walk the way
Of the liberated 
And if we do can it be stated
In between lines and in the silence
I watch men do all the violence
That could ever be contained
And in the summer, it rained 
Like it always does on an Irish Sea
Somehow the time has come to me 
To stand up and be counted
And for all that has amounted 
To my demise
It’s only sunset for the morning to rise
And break a new vista across the scene
Can we speak what can never be seen 

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
Getting The Message To Where It Needs To Be
		

		
.Reading time 2 minutes.

		

			






I’m getting the message to where it needs to be
Because people drown in a foot of sea
Water as it comes up to their throats
They don’t know they can stand up and hope floats
And seeks eternity in the bones
Of the body the soul has made home
We tiptoe around the fact
It doesn’t help that I want him back
In spite of all his flaws
And the way the icicle thaws
As it hangs like a stalactite
From the room I ignite 
With my Lára flame 
You know everything is in a name
And I am not to be crossed
But look, baby, all is not lost
Not if you count the shipwreck safe
But there’s a coast we can escape
To if you just open your eyes
But you keep them closed and something dies
In the subterfuge
And it’s all rouge 
Everywhere
And people who just do not care
About what has come to pass
And the part of love that last
Far past the point of surrender
I do everything I can to make you remember 
But you are lost in your nonchalant 
As I pick an adequate font 
To write out your epitaph 
You know you made me laugh 
So hard that day
But was I laughing at what goes away 
When the midnight is done
And there is a sun
That does not need light 
Or fusion to combust into all that’s right
And I know you hobble and I know that spiders’ webs
Weave their tendrils above your head
I’m just here to be a reminder
That if you look you will find her
Right where she always was
Under the stone of your in-laws 

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
The States Of Being
		

		
.Reading time 2 minutes.

		

			






I wanna take a trip to the states
Because when the air escapes
From my chest
It is the place that knows me best
And I found myself in New York City
In Brooklyn and no one was with me 
Until you broke into my dream 
And told me that the queen 
Wanted her king back
And it is a massive attack 
To know that the strikes will hit
Every girl you call a bitch
As she rises to claim her power
And I watched the demon shower
All the shards on me 
Til a little girl set me free
I ran out of my building half afraid
Because the sun was in the shade
And she took my hand 
Asked me to help her cross the sand
To the other side because the cars
Were passing by like shooting stars
And I could only think “you must be an angel”
So I stood and paused until the ladle 
Was full with soup to drink
And I took a second to just think
And looked left and right
Til the coast was clear and white
As a ghost I led you across the trail
It was Flatbush and it didn’t fail 
To live up to it’s reputation 
But as I watch you catch a dream with elation
And skip away into the neighbourhood
I thought God the Great must be good
To send a little precious child 
To save me from my thoughts so wild
That had convinced me I was masked 
By an evil that was dark 
Because I reached out my hand to touch
And it, damn well, exploded the plug
It blew out with a bang 
And I was scared because my phone rang
At the exact moment the die was cast
And I reached back into the past 
To pluck an apple from a tree
And now he is one with me 
In the land of duality 
To break like waves on the shore
And I can’t take it anymore
I gotta get outta here
But it becomes crystal clear
That kundalini is electric 
And when life gets hectic 
It slows you to a glacial pace
And you drop out of the human race
Into something deeper and dynamite
I don’t think I’m keeping this thing quiet

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
The Winter I Endured
		

		
.Reading time 3 minutes.

		

			

The winter I endured
Was far from pure
The snow was tinged with scattered blood
And it was anything but good 
As the forest turned to trees with eyes
Out to get me in my disguise
And they may say agenda
But I would always defend ya
From the forces that come to pass
I sat in the young adults group before I hit twenty four
They’d get you to talk behind a closed door
Like it was some kind of club
While you’re dosed up on some drug 
And I remember a boy who slurred his speech
Is this the lesson that they teach
To all of us
That the broken trust
Will lead us to the promised land
But their broken promises are all sand 
As they try to dampen your spirit
I’ll say it loud so that everyone will hear it
And Teresa in the bed across
Was shocked half to death by a girl boss
And told it would heal her depression
But here is my confession 
That, though I shook and though I wake
I did it all for her sake 
Shouted to the dragon in her bed
Said, follow me instead
Coz I can carry the weight
And she cannot stand the hate
And I sat by Shauna’s side
If this was the only reason I’d abide
In that place for a thousand years 
I grabbed a bucket to catch their tears
And I would face all of their fears
With them so they wouldn’t be alone
Now friends are clicking on a phone
And I watch them search
For a place to land that doesn’t hurt 
And they say social media is hell
And I’ve certainly lived to tell 
The scéal 
And the tale 
Is long and well worn 
But I am certainly not forlorn
When they put me on the “done”
I’d rather take a hash brownie or scone 
Because what they prescribed
Only ever made me feel less alive
It’d be enough to drive a man to drink
Or a woman to overthink 
The things she does by instinct 
But God cleared up the flood
And I taste and see that the Lord is good
And he will redeem
The shackles that just fell from the queen 
And the Son of Man was crucified 
Just so that the Pharisees could abide
In their positions of power 
But everyone who claims to tower
Over another will be brought low
You’re looking down so I thought I should let you know 

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
The Fields We Know
		

		
.Reading time less than 1 minute.

		

			






The dying of the light
Everything is gonna be alright 
Because the night
Only comes so that the dawn
Shows you what was never gone
And we are in a cyclical spin 
But I am always in love with Him
As, steadfast, He spans the dream
And I only know how to be a queen 
Unselfish unto the sky
And not afraid to die 
For what I Am 
Standing for what you cannot plan 
To come to be and sustain
The fields do not refuse rain

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
Troubled Times
		

		
.Reading time 1 minute.

		

			

I look into the mirror and can’t stand what I see
Who is this stranger looking back at me
With eyes as foreign as the ocean
With waves and waves of unkempt emotion
Now I turn on the tv screen 
It seems a nightmare is waking the dream
Up from where it stands 
Long live the reign of man 
As the boundary push 
Us beyond the evening rush
Into some sky
Where soldiers are as afraid to die
As the nearest foe
There’s a point beyond which we cannot go
Or we won’t come back
Don’t live in the realm of lack
And contribute 
To the people playing the flute
Of desperate pain
When the sky clears it cannot rain
But it will pelt
As long as the clouds refuse to melt
Under the barrage of storm
Remember the sun used to keep us warm
Now it just burns and heats the sea
I have no power but if it was me 
I would ask for an end to be put to the war
Here, there, everywhere for 
The sake of the child
Who grows up through the thick of the wild
Of brambles and thorns
No one asked for me to be born
But here I am
And if I can 
I will issue a note
So it will be something someone can quote
When I’m long gone
Does anyone know where we went wrong?

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
Nirguna Brahman
		

		
.Reading time 1 minute.

		

			









Up and out
Beyond any doubt
I was struck through the core
And I was not the girl anymore
I didn’t have friends, I didn’t have foes
It was no longer anything goes 
And Deirdre had wound a spell 
Until I was very unwell
Worrying a thread
That took up space in my head 
When suddenly free
Forgiveness and destiny
Found it’s way around my limbs 
Life is like a game of the Sims 
Little people living their story
But the great expanse simply adore me 
Now that I’m free
Breathing in and out eternity
And I’m not sure if I should explain
That you don’t get wet when you stand in the rain
A shower from the sky
I am that which will never die 
In the ocean of disrepute 
A current that you can dispute
Its its own life
And they ask the wife
How it feels to be so
600 points but they won’t let go
Of what they think they know
A doctor ma’am?
I don’t think they know what I am
As the dragon, it breathes, my chest rises and falls 
Does Peter Parker have to walk up walls?

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
The Light Of Consciousness
		

		
.Reading time 4 minutes.

		

			





The light of consciousness is like a ray from the sun
It shot me through like a loaded gun
And I was fourteen and lost in a mess
Loaded down with heavy distress
When suddenly the exit to maze
I looked up and the girl was saved 
From a fate worse than death - to live her life 
As a student, a worker, a mother, a wife
I couldn’t grow up, I was like Peter Pan
“Please don’t let me become a man”
Coz I saw what they do on the daily
Look death in the face and smile so gaily
With reasons why it was just so
They were old, they had to let go
But I stared at the body in the coffin
And knew that I was not for crossin’ 
I prayed to God that he make me anew 
And not let the tree be cut in two
So I splintered and fragmented but held strong
I am not doing anything wrong
Anxiety, depression, all kinds of tests
But my inner being is at rest
And she found a chink in my armour
And I don’t mean to alarm her 
But the thread she wound spun me in spools
Til I was sweating buckets in school
Walk into the classroom; “what will they think”
I’m clean and I’m quiet and I don’t even drink
And Elaine is so nice and Lisa too
Doireann and Kelly and my eyelashes are blue
As I try to explain, I try to convey 
Exactly what happened to me that day
A smile was born as I crumpled to the floor
Letting go of the pain and something to adore
It was all lights out as the faint took hold
And when I woke up the ceiling was gold
And Mrs. Earley is kneeling over my form
How do I tell her that I was just born
They give me tea with sugar to pump up my blood
But something just walked out of the wood 
Into the sun of the God of all time
How could I not have known the wealth that is mine 
As it spread like a banquet over the table
Telling cripples to get up and walk now they’re able 
And this message was hidden, this message submerge
But now that the ocean is on the verge
Of washing away, now the time has come
For the ice age to be undone 
And walk all the souls back to their home 
Death is not the end and you are never alone
As Nirvana grips me by the tongue
Break identification with what was young
Coz you will never grow old though the body may fade
You’ll always be vital as the words on this page
In your spirit, in your core and not by degree
Now awakening is rippling out from me
To touch every soul that ever takes birth
You were not born to live within the confines of hurt
You were not born to stoop, you were not born to cower
Wake up and realise your inherent power
As you breathe
You don’t need
The next breath to come
Each one is whole from the old to the young
And those stars in your eyes are like atoms spinning
Don’t doubt your worth when you’re bi-winning
I rub my eyes with my sleeve
Think of the fallen valley I used to believe
Was the whole story
Now the vibration is enough to floor me
Back to the day I was dancing a reel
You’re not what you think and what you feel
Is as passing as diamonds on the surface of the sea
Though sparkling, they just reflect the true civility 
Of a sun that never sets because you don’t spin 
On the axis of something I didn’t begin

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
Caves And Close Shaves
		

		
.Reading time 1 minute.

		

			

I’m burning down the house I made in my mind
Leave that old cave behind
The one I used to spit and moan
And mainly just feel all alone
Coz they inoculate shame
And call you by your first name
When they want you to back down
Or go ahead and drown
In the ocean that submerge
Don’t you know it’s just a word
They used to categorise 
You so that you’re something in their eyes
And maybe they steal
But they can’t take what is real
No matter how hard they try
And I know that we all die
But I can’t stay under this roof
Where’s your evidence, where’s your proof
That I was ever anything other
Than a cloud that would smother
You with a hot heat
Thick and heavy as defeat

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
The Long Forgiveness
		

		
.Reading time 2 minutes.

		

			

I don’t want to let go of the feeling
Because it means I must let go of you
And I don’t want to
They all teased us about each other
But sometimes you were like the brother
I never had
And it makes me sad
To think that I
Must wait until I die 
To see your visage again
I should’ve told you I could talk with pen
And write a sonnet for you
Is moving on the same as pulling through
Coz he threw those words at me
But he simply doesn’t see
That life takes care of life
And somebody’s wife
Or somebody’s son
Is warm with the waves that come from the sun
Pure photon light
Balancing between here and alright
And must I escape
A hero in a red cape
Comes to save the day
But he can’t bring back what’s gone away
And what would you say
About things like that
Love is not something that you lack
But something that pours through
Right now I’m starring in a role and you
Have dissipated 
Have I ever hated 
Life so much
To vanish what was warm to the touch
And sincere and honest
They talk about Heaven but I wouldn’t count on it
To save the day
We are born to go away
And must make hay
In the sun we know
Tell me what to do, a stór, the show
Must go on
But how do I love with you gone
How do I let a man into my heart
When it’s been broken and the part
I crave the most
Is with the Father, Son and Holy Ghost

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
Issues
		

		
.Reading time 3 minutes.

		

			

The pain reverberates around the inner wall of my sanctum
All is lost and I never thanked him
For who he was to me
They say that death is to be set free
But chains encircle and the vice, it grips
Some people escape by going on head trips
I sit in the suffer 
Coz I know you loved her
In your short time here
Your golden hair and fiery heart, my dear
Will never go to waste 
I stay chaste
And good and clean
But I only meet you in a dream
Til he walks on the scene 
And everything I love is in full colour 
The Now is here and the past is duller
But the car crash of us mimics the cry
Of the moment I learned that you die
Grasping, clawing, trying to hold on
But you are already gone
And memory
Seems to be 
The only thing you have left me 
As the vultures circle looking for some chew 
While I’m on the grass just talking to you
And he was a symbol of salvation, I held him tight
But he’s emptiness in the night
Always a little too far away
With a little too much to say
About me and you, he and I
And I’m not gonna lie
I tried to make that plaster fit
He just thinks I am a little bitch
Affection and playful but it’s not enough
I’m looking for Eternal Love
To bridge the gap
Because Death leaves behind no map
And the scrap of what I can remember 
Of the years of knowing you
Is scrawled in a diary I put pen to
But it doesn’t bring you back, I chew the cap
What if I have another relapse
And end up in the psych ward again
Because reality is not my friend
So I take refuge in fables
Keep up if you’re able
It’s a litany
Of all the liars I never got to be 
And somewhere in the sunshine I see you again
You set the gold standard of men
And you were there that year in 2007
In the blue camp and I, eleven,
In love with with your name
Life will never, ever be the same
With you gone, now there’s no one to squeeze my hand 
And smile like everything is grand 
And fun and neat
Next door neighbours, next time we meet
Will be an eon hence
My Love is never in the past tense

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
Not In A Million Years
		

		
.Reading time 2 minutes.

		

			

Not in a million years or any version of reality
Could life replace what you mean to me 
And I know I was mad on the phone
A passionate Aries all alone
As you fit me into the box
Of a woman in need of locks 
So I rebel, rebel 
And tell you to go to hell
Coz you don’t understand 
You’ve only ever been a man
And the status quo
Is not something I’d like to keep, so
I smash right through the walls you construct
And I don’t give any fucks 
A delectable female on the line
That only wants to make you mine
And I hear the silent pause
That doesn’t obey any laws
Or gravity
What do you think of me 
I shudder and the earth quake
I’m sitting in the room and I shake 
As I try to hold it all in
But I love, I love him
And I’m hearing voices in my head
One tells me to just go to bed
And rest and keep
The best of me for sleep
Let the softness ensue
And I remember that song came out too
That August but I felt nothing at all
Except like banging my head against the wall
And it is silent desperation as I wake at three
Think the devil is talking to me
And the lights all went out
It coincided with my doubt
So I ran to Jennai
How do I remember the name of the nurse 
That sprinkled sawdust on a golden hearse
That seems to carry my body from place to place 
While the demons just lay waste
To the life I used to know
You told me to just let go…