I'm just mad coz you forced me off the land
With your masculine misunderstand
And I guess I'm emotional and female
But that don't mean I should go to jail
For a century or two
Just because I frighten you
With all you can't contain
It was love, it wasn't pain
And the winter was long but the snow
Can't stop the way the spring will grow
New green into all of the leaves
And it's not just about what you believe
And I throw shards of glass into the past
Memories of what didn't last
And your words are like daggers that cut my skin
How does he know how to hurt within
With his flagrant disrespect for all I offer
I know it's just the way you suffer
But I can't play small anymore
Or cover over what you adore
And don't want to love
It was given me from above
And you're just gonna have to get used to it
Being front and centre and your wit
Can't tear me down no more
Find another ship to sail to the shore!
Fighting the monument to the era gone by
I dunno, I just had to try
But throwing stones at the wall
Is not the way to get over it all
And they had me medicated to the hilt
I couldn't stop crying til the flower wilt
And the flow of the years pass through
As I stare through the window at you
Hoping you might turn your head
But I better watch my mouth or I'll end up dead
Coz there's traps for every sound
And they're scattered all around
In the avenues that people walk
And the professionals are all talk
Coz it's a road less traveled by
And it's a witch hunt if you claim to fly
When you are an earth bound creature
But I thought this deserved a feature
In the newspaper of us
It's crumpled like our broken trust
The song twisted in my guts And there were times I went nuts Trying not to love the people that I do All because I want to be loyal to you But Darragh’s eyes shine like the sun And he may not be the one But I sure would walk the road with him The hardest part is to begin As we both verge on what almost was I let him go because I can’t say matrimony But I would be being phony To say it didn’t hit me deep That night I cried myself to sleep As I left him at my door I might not see him anymore And we’re connected on a Facebook screen But is this life a lucid dream That I’m just waking up to Why did I hold out for you And let what I had slip by I didn’t run but I had to try To steady the ship And I’m close to his lips Being something I could meet Now I’m walking the streets Searching for what I lost Did he really pay the cost For my indecision The teenage and the derision We were all party to On the bus (can we sue?)
A poll On the intro to my biography Will I be looking back on this In another year hence Another ten Recompense Coz I can’t give up On this holy love That has me string a sentence together Even if it’s just about the weather And how a rainy grey sky Is similar to the feeling I die Into on a daily basis Did he try to erase us Or was it just a crack that trip A good man into it As it pulls me like a climber’s harness And I feel the tension that the carcass Of who we used to be exerts The sight of you still hurts Coz you’re everything I want to own And all that I wish I’d never known But what kind of prayer is that For something that you would take back Can’t I be grateful for you And the cavern I was pulled into By the magnet strength of love Something gifted from above That sends the tension reeling Do you even know what you’re feeling To spitfire down the line But you come back each and every time To take tea with my debate I tell you take it up with fate
I saw him running to me And I can’t believe what I see Coz it’s the picture perfect ending And there’ll be no unfriending To contemplate Not with us in that state But he threw a spanner in the works And, my God, it hurts So I cut him off on New Year’s Eve But I was drying the tears I was crying on my sleeve Getting locked on alcohol and in the bathroom It was before the age of doom And that was ten years ago Then less is more but now I know You’ve got your own spiral going on And somehow our aching went wrong In the midnights we spent in change we don’t have Does your girlfriend ever feel bad That she had to share your time with me But the vine we swing is eternity And I won’t put it off til another day I’m here to say what I’m gonna say Coz somewhere on his twitter (I swear I’m not bitter) He said hi to her So I built the foundation of what we were On the cracks in her facade It wouldn’t be love if it didn’t feel bad Sometimes And the song rhymes With his call me by last name, baby As she asks Romeo to save me So I trip the fantastic time And hit him with another line That he can keep in his soul I’ve got the receipts, that’s how I roll And I may be sleuth coz I’ve investigated The things he innocently stated Thinking six people would hear ya Now I’ve got an audience and my dear, ya Might be known to more than a few But don’t worry I just wanna honour you With words I pick up from the sand And cherish the feeling of holding your hand For the thousandth time Is researching you an internet crime? Or is it okay That I catch everything that you say In this net of mine I pray that your time Is beauty and truth You are the hero of my youth
I keep trying To make ends break even But then I get caught Daydreaming about Stephen And it’s a sweet lullaby But I cannot try To do what they say A locked box And Power says it’s okay When I’m dying just to get out But I face faces of solid stone And doubt In who I claim to be Why did everything desert me In the forest of ill repute And I hate when they call me cute It’s not accurate And there has been a spate Of killings in the vicinity Of will you or will you not know me When I abandon the sea And set my stead on rock that knows me So well, it’s a foundation And I used to be all elation With the joy of a new birth Til I tried to rewrite the hurt Into stars of my own making But hunger’s in every breath you’re taking To draw in more air If you didn’t doubt would it be there?
There has to be an end To state sponsored violence Coz we’ve got terrorists Speaking from the silence So that it’s one for the other Kill a man, though you’re his brother And I’m not naming names I’m just pointing out That we can’t keep singing The song of doubt Coz what does it achieve To lie to ourselves Sending the world Into a slow kind of hell Where it revolves Around the sun Screaming, screaming I am the one But if you’re one with what is Then how can you take what’s his And turn upside down what once was even Which side you’re on is who you’re believing And it’s been going on Since people had clubs See how the mother lion Minds her cubs And protects what she has But what are you walking as And are we destined to decay Fight to be the last to stay When all we do is hurt our home Does the parapet stand alone Or is it a furore Do you want less or do you want more Coz we can make heaven here Life I love to be so dear
The guy cheats on his girl With a woman he’s made his world And I see the flicker in his eyes That is the tell in his disguise As she tries to put distance between Me, her, him and the dream And it’s not like I own the dude But do I intrude To ask my boo If he’s been making love to you Behind my back He sees the threat and he attack Me for all my voice can tell And it reaches out to you as well And it’s like the storm knows what is And you were never his Just like he was never mine Just a way I did time
My twenties were a shitstorm It was like the fire was reborn And conspired to burn my toes With the power of anything goes And the rain is pounding on my roof How is the dude so aloof Does he not care at all It’s like I’m talking to the wall He has painted with his spray And I keep saying I’m okay As he hits me with all he has Like he gets high on feeling bad And I pretend it doesn’t matter But if you live by the coast the waves will batter You with all their might If you love the sun can you accept the light
The fever of youth It can be such a brute And parties come and parties go Drinks on us, it’s a holy show And I’ll always be sixteen Somewhere in a pink dream Of candy clouds and come what may Just don’t ask me to do what you say Because I will rebel, rebel Send hate crashing into hell Like that year we walked Blathnáid home But the streets of Longford are not to roam In the night It was alright I think we ran back Fearful of an attack And we were just a little high on spritzers At Jemma’s house and Pulitzer’s We’re something I thought I’d own The years in between that I’d grown But so far it’s all quiet Nothing like the silent riot On the trampoline Trying not to make a scene By throwing up And Paddy had a little of my love Though I didn’t tell him that I know that he liked me back And I wonder where or how the time Has been kind to him and no rhyme Can ever capture what he was He was beautiful just because His eyes were full of soul And when he stared at me the waves would roll Like a sullen sea Intent on surfing me To the conclusion And if there was any confusion I’d like to clear it up And let him know that a little love Falls his way In every word that I say Every poem I write Exposes his pirate light With earring in tow I know you thought I didn’t know But bad boy chic And sensitive sends my cheek Flaming red I thought of you that night in bed And if you’d knock on the door How it would be something more But anyway you are too dashing gallant And if I’d’ve had any talent I would have sent these lines to you How’s it cooking in your zoo? Do the lions roar And is the treasure chest still to explore I hope you see That you were the riproar in me For a moment held I just hope you know that I felt More than Spiral Tree Behind the bar between you and me Could explain You were a shower and I love the rain
Coming down from the sky Wondering if I’m gonna die As the wings catch air And a shudder ripples in there How does a flight Set enough fire to ignite A storm in me And history Is nothing new So stars are spilling from the space that’s you A galaxy, a kaleidoscope And Regina begins to hope As she crawls up off the floor Why is to know you to adore The shawl you clasp around your shoulder And we’re not getting any older Only more well versed in the scene Even if the whole thing is a dream To be deciphered by a sleuth like me To know me is to set me free
I’m really enjoying my time with Amy It’s like peace from the demons that slay me And we were friends years before Nearly twenty though it seems like more Some kind of teenage scene But after I woke the dream Up with a sudden shake Now it’s in every breath I take The loveliness and the confession It’s in the water and the succession Is a notion that I can’t bear to speak The ocean within me makes me weak And subject to the will Of the Divine that lives to kill Each and every one of us Look at me like broken trust Do you love the water I’m sick and tired of being the daughter Of the waves they come Don’t you wish you had a son To raise on high Now I am lost in the saying goodbye Ten thousand times And it’s just a pity my sadness rhymes
Welcome to the broken girls club Admission is free But it will cost you more Than you ever thought it could be And is it just an excuse that we get to use To say we can’t live up to the point you prove With pen on paper And the people who hate her Cutting like incisors Labeled as survivors When it’s just a midnight rush That is tender to the touch That spirals out into infinity Are you listening to me At all And I hit a wall Or bedrock As you claim to be what I am not
They talk about taking a cut I don’t wish to intrude but Isn’t that selling out on your dreams The tailor rips all the seams On a mighty dress And I confess That I never really knew what this life thing was I just keep holding on because It seems to be the only thing to do Hold my breath and set the queue And everything will be alright There is no way to fight the night Only accept its lapping waves And the superhero who saves Is your own deepest core Pushing you til you know there’s more Than surface appearance In the woods and there’s been a clearance Into some sort of scene Everything is hazy as a dream As I take what they offer me But I would rather be free Of the chains that bind They run rings around my mind But suffice to say It doesn’t go away It only suppress It’s there to be addressed And I hold my hand out to the dark It dances me around in the park With the grass under my feet How was it that we never meet In all the years we’ve been together Just me, you and the weather And it’s a lavender suite I let it go and defeat Is the sweetest thing I know It just took Him time to show The underneath that silences doubt Now forever is what I’m all about And death is the mask that God wears You don’t realise it til the illusion tears And you’re left with a landscape in your lap Did the Universe take a nap On overseeing the score Coz I’m not sure who I am anymore But You assure That this road is pure As midnight snow The moon kissing the white below
The streets are awash with my well worn fame But just coz you know my name Doesn’t mean you know what I am And I have a plan To be the best thing since sliced pan But I get interrupted And things must be adjusted To fit my frame I used to love the game There was that time my vision narrowed Watching films and the haunting harrowed As everyone just moved on The place where I stood was long gone And images rose up like a screen Popping bubbles in the dream And I lay in bed Trying to quench the firestorm in my head At eighteen In Roebuck Hall stifling a scream Into my pillow Now she’s released Willow Into the world And I’ve grown up a girl Into a fortress strong Resilient that could never be wrong And I spilt ink all over the page Used my pen to rage and rage Instead of caging the beast I let the paper become the feast And devour the pain inside I don’t think I need to hide Coz I know there’s a whole plethora Of people who wish they didn’t know that That which I’m talking about And the words that came out of my mouth Were confused and afraid Like the sun had just put me in the shade But it’s all in the past Though the strength will last Some kind of quantum leap In consciousness that doesn’t sleep Even when my eyes close Are there reasons for everything, only God knows
Th ship is adrift on the ocean Am I cliché if I claim emotion Had me run ragged round the sea And I just long to see you with me Arms intertwined Diamonds mined Like solid gold bands On the ring fingers of both our hands But you broke the circle That held us as one Now I’m the daughter And you are the son Of the God who saves And I stared at the empty seat for days And gaslit myself Like San Diego Never thought that you would play me though As you took your book and ran And I don’t think I can Let you in again I think I’ll go search other men For that spark of soul in self I saw you with somebody else
The stars cross themselves Like a holy prayer And I know it’s the past But you are there And there’s summer in my bones As the rubble topples homes Like the foundation of Hill 16 And loving him was the dream As we both match Our patchwork scars And I’m walking home As you’re chasing cars With bubbles in your chest Don’t you know that I love you best Though you’re sitting with her Does she know what we were And still are I’ve no wish to be on par I just want the truth to shine Let it be known that I call you mine
The sound of him Is everything win In no forest I can grasp And maybe I should’ve But I didn’t ask Now you have her And as far as I can tell Everything is going really well But I can’t watch you for an eon Or an era So I ditched the scales I used to sear ya To forbode You’re carrying a heavy load And relief Should be yours So instead of shutting doors I’ll leave this one ajar And love you long time, from afar
We sprung right back Like an elastic band I caught your eye When I held your hand And you brushed my shoulder As you walked past We rolled boulders To make the damn thing last But the splinter appeared And horror stuck The bombs went off And I screamed “duck” As we both fought it out Through hammer and nails I dunno about you But running never fails And will I find you On the other side of the water The bells are ringing But you haven’t caught her In the snare that just appeared I still remember when Vonnie said cleared And everything changed Like the social molecules rearranged Around the system of a new regime And I realized the world is a dream But a convincing one As I put trust in the Son To lead me out of smoke and mirrors And he doesn’t believe in everything he hears As I play a symphony To the tune of his melody On a keyboard or guitar Oh, how to know what you are Coz my words could never contain The colour of your magnificent pain
If I’ve got to forgive the world It’s gotta include you I don’t think you know What you did, do you Coz you sent a dart Right through my heart Until God made my pain Into some kind of art And I’ve been holding a grudge Since 2005 And it’s a wonder I’m still alive With all the splicing My soul seems to do And it seems the splinter Began with you As you took an axe To my great tree Thinking you could fell The very best of me And I came crashing To the forest floor Til I realized pine needles Were something I could adore Coz they’re born of my symmetry And they contain All of the teardrops I drank in as rain That nourished the flow That pumped my veins With blood that heats A thousand refrains And colours them The deepest hue I’m red as a sunset sky And I let it through Like a shepherd’s delight To signal the morning Will be alright And the storming Will give way To a fragrant calm I close my eyes And trust the alarm
The idea I came into being The idea I go is sometimes freeing But more than that is the pane of glass That I watched one day just smash As I looked across the reflection It had conjured up And though it was weak It was born of love And salty air caught my nose It wasn’t something I ever chose But would I go back To buying into the sense of lack That is so endemic Long before the pandemic Came to take lives from our shore How much you lose is how much you adore And I stared at him from across the stage Riveted from the page He had used to ink The passing stream they call “to think” And the joy just burst Like a balloon in my thirst And I hungered for air That moved just because you were there Can you rivet an eye And please explain why people die If you can Just a man But somehow more I woke up Wednesday on the floor
The curbs of death Mark the pavements of my mind And I’m stepping on cracks And what I left behind Coz no one’s exempt I dunno where it all went The love and the fever Do you think that you could just believe her When she shines her light And everything will be alright They are not just grey platitudes of wishes That flit across your mind as you’re washing the dishes And a sudden plate falls from your grasp Ceramic but it shatters like glass All over the hardwood floor Or tiled with patterns you adore And there’s a mess Like a man and woman in undress Fixing pieces together But the target moved and now the weather Is spilling snow Oh, all that you did not know When you were young Was I always this highly strung And a friend permits Me to call it quits On anxious furore Who are they after, who was I before Indeed, was there ever a pre Or is it just me Who clatters the makings of another dawn Something whispers; “they’re not gone”
The non Christian nature of my poems Not rooted in love and charity But the turmoil of a soul well oiled I writhe in confusion Is this a calling? Am I meant to put pen to paper And write out the storm The crackle of firelight keeps me warm But it pushes others away Because even the best As separate can’t stay Only in the groundswell In the depths of our origin Are we one Beyond the surface reality Of seeming appearances We share that underlying wellness That defines all time Sets a clock ticking And a person to mime As though ocean days were all they had In forests and grey hairs We’re getting older And I wish someone would’ve told her That it was all okay Oh, leave it up to me! I turn the key And set you free
The hate boils like oil in my throat A corrosive on the metal you float When you send it out to sea Don’t count on it if you rely on me Coz man I am no steam train But I swear if you use that phrase again I might just pop my cork The road less travelled and the fork Is driving me half insane Did you just use my name To describe a certain state of mind But it’s the world I leave behind When I step out on the bridge It’s like a Rocky Mountain ridge As I traverse these perilous seas That would have anyone on their knees But I am not designed to please Only be truthful and real Do you know what you tried to steal?
You’re a hotfire bitch You drive around the town Spitting out air Like I want you around But the Grace has fallen Like a star to earth You try to stick To the old hurt But it don’t last Coz it’s in the past And I don’t hate you But the love is gone (Was it just attachment All along?) And we were young And running through grass How did I know That it wouldn’t last As you would attack Every time I turned my back Take me down Because of what you lack But the sky split the seam And the lightning struck And you can’t read me I’m not a good book So talk or don’t Reach out but I won’t Ever let you in again Go play your tune To some of your men And write me off Is it bad I’m glad Over what I’ve lost
I swore I would always be free But I’m held captive with you It’s closer we’re getting To what pulls us through And the thread is fine And, Lord knows, I walk the line Down another avenue It may be just me and you In our all and sundry And it’s just another Monday Kissing the stars Or your lips behind prison bars But I’ve got a key Would you want to escape with me In fields of gold Or do you prefer your cell so cold And he does a dance with his eyes The perfect perforation in his disguise “Would you love me true?” I will of course, will you love me too And he bats his eyelashes Flips them up and down And he has me already In a white gown But I’ve grown out of marriage Of the dream I once had Coz the more that I wanted it The more I felt bad And it’s silent for a beat And the heat Rises between us two I leave but I come back to you To regale the tale Of the Infinite I don’t know about you But David might Take a second glance Give me love like it’s my last chance To catch a star I don’t think I’ll ever know what you are
As a species we’re violent and cruel Just look what it’s like in an American school As they all compete to win the day Or fight like hell to get away And guns abound I can hear their rattling sound As they fire off It’s a trigger point but what’s the cost Of loving what you can’t contain Can the sky hold the rain Back once it’s started to flow I let it be and you know It just moves from me Like a current in an adjacent sea That rhythms a tide Did you realise you’re alive Or are you just going through the motions Bracing for the commotion As it enters the building And what is the frame that you’re gilding With beautiful paint I see the sun and I faint
Torturing yourself won’t bring her back And hating yourself won’t cure the lack That bubbles up out of your skin You can’t lose, so you just win And sigh that it’s all predetermined You’re in your seat but you’re squirming With the uncomfortableness of it all John Mayer and the free fall That was 2012 Time to take a deeper delve And stand your sacred ground As you hear the sound Of tomorrow on the breeze Not all men come to leave Only the shadows knocking on your door Repeating the refrain of you don’t love me no more But it’s just an ancient pain Playing on repeat again To make a symphony out of the sound Of the love and faith abound In the green green grass of home My love, you are never alone
Sitting in a New York café Wondering whose gonna win the day Is it me or my fear I shake because the doom was near And it pulled me far away from the storm Do you think the sun is warm Or is it just faking it’s heat But I can feel it on my feet As my toes shake sand Out of the knots in my hand Like a well worn tree He left and then never met me And I gotta find God Do you venerate the Lord And is it just another symbol Or can you see out the window To where the grass is green Something in me has always been And will abide I don’t have to hide From the shirking of weight They call it luck, I call it fate
I dig you Like a grave And you’re the hero I’d die to save In the monuments Of long lost glory And are you just staring At my story As we put leagues In between ourselves Like Walmart And stacking shelves For all our worth I swore but it still hurt And cursed the stubbing toe It didn’t make the pain go Only added a layer of ennui I’m always longing for open sky To set sail a sea Into the blue eternity That stretches out the clouds Until I make the people proud With who I am Something about love And God’s plan
Being young and miles away from death Toasting to the movie scene And it’s like a hole was punched in the dream And my friends are just ladies who scream At the first sign of trouble Can I burst your pretty bubble Coz it’s intruding on my space And it’s a groan seeing your face Coz you just wrote me off Now I write it down and all is lost As I find myself And I gotta say it’s the best kind of wealth To know what you are Old Kings burning a celestial star
What did I forget Is it the way your bulletproof tinges my regret As we walk to home Sometimes forever is better alone As when the tide goes out And it’s like a drought On my lips Or a midnight eclipse One you can’t see I dunno about you but that’s about me In the wonder years When I bottled all my tears And sold them for cash Brilliant but just a bit rash As steam on a sunny day It rises then it goes away To be replaced By the sunset the storm effaced
When gorgeous is few and far in between And I catch a skyline in my gaze If Superman had a vocation It would be to save And the stars all collide Just to contest that they are alive In a supernova storm Nebulous against the norm And pink as a candy crush cloud Is it ok if I speak aloud When I am so strange and purposeful A life like this could never be dull But it sure wrecks my head And I wonder what she meant by what she said
I can believe you rolled her like a new cigarette It’s something I can’t bear to forget And I’m still daydreaming yet Into the forest and out with regret As we both subside into the moment I don’t know about you but I think that I own it And you have true colours but you haven’t shown it You drown out the ocean as it’s grown And I would’ve said yes but you’d never have known In the audience of ill repute Is it okay if I call you a flute And play you like a magnet charm In the midnight of no alarm
The graveyard shift And I’m walking it alone And I wonder if I should Throw out my phone Coz it only tells me tales Of faraway lands Of lasciviousness And underhands And I’m walking in New York City And it’s been an age Since I put pen to paper On a page To let out the rage That spills effortless They called me a woman in distress But they don’t know me They don’t spy the truth I was twenty four On the edge of youth As I fight with the toil Of an unholy brute That breaks like waves Upon the shore How can I not Want you anymore
It ain’t me It’s the poetry That wants you so bad Enough to make a monument sad In the ocean it rolls But I ain’t paying tolls For the road I use Not just a book for you to peruse As the library quakes The fire burns and the ground shakes Into the darkness I know so well Do you think there’s such a thing as hell Or is it all imagination Pulling into Longford station And have you turn away from me Surf the Shannon like it’s a sea And dream of eternity With your arms laced around me As forever beckons But what do you reckon Will we give it a go But I think I already know What you’re gonna say But I put it out there anyway
Can death happen Or is it just another ruse An illusion designed to confuse Us here on earth We grow from the dirt With the bodies we weave And everything else is up our sleeve In resident dread I wake for God’s sake and deny him instead My acceptance Like the rejection Could be anything to him The pain just pushes me to go within And find the source Of grief that runs without remorse Down the window pane Is it gonna happen again Or do I know Now that I am letting it go That no iron can strike The open mic That shouts my name She left and nothing is the same
Looking for the gifts and the fruits Not growing up to be one of those suits I asked why I wasn’t suddenly wise And why it is that everyone dies If we’re all eternal And what is the infernal But another cast of the dice And reincarnation means more than twice What do people believe The kingdom of heaven up your sleeve Or something new He came to save all of you And his example Means no sheep is left stranded On a mountaintop His Love is a lot And I find it hard to bear The way the fabric suddenly tear The sky in two I was with him but thinking of You And summer came just like a minidress The ominous that I suppress Threatens to override The system that I’ve tried to hide In all the folds and creases of paper Get out of the rat race and caper That endlessly flies As somewhere in the distance a child cries With no one too soothe And I’m self indulgently in a mood Coz I don’t get my way But what would God say If he had breath to breathe And lungs with which the words were freed To express themselves Is it time to take honesty down off the shelves
Stray I follow
And her words are hollow
Like the rings round her eyes
Everything lives and dies
And she can't shake the spectre
That hides in the window
So she finds love
But it isn't in him though
And the monsters don't drag
Her out of the bed
In the morning
Do I wreck your head
Or can you contain what I say
I like you, is that okay
But I don't agree with all you do
Or how you justify it to you too
And I'm down with all of the vibes
You emulate
And you call my bluff on fate
But something weaves
Its way in and out of thread
I choose myself instead
Of the same damn old fight
Burning in the firelight
And it's something serene
Do I really crack the dream
Open like an egg on the pan
Does anyone know who I am
Coz I think he did
But then I hid
And he bought the lie
But I had to try
To tell the truth
But I'm just selling my youth
And auctioning it to the highest bidder
And the thoughts in my own head make me shiver
With the terror of movement going
And now the wind is snowing
In the middle of spring
Did I really give up everything
Just to get to New York
The road bends just beyond the fork
And I can't choose
Based on what I've left to lose
I must be pulled though
And it's the sight of you
That's driving me on
True Love isn't gone
Am I really gonna make a quick buck
From sweatshops in Asia that don't give a fuck
About the people they manage, the people in their care
Am I a leader or do I dare
To put a spanner in the works
Like the world is evil and they're all jerks
Do I stay small scale
Or level up and make a sale
But I can't bring myself to earn
A pretty penny that will burn
Me when I go to spend it
And there's people out there who just end it
Coz they can't bear another day
But we get by on hearsay
To build in might
The dragon sleeps but not at night
The power of my voice I speak and it’s not by choice It’s like God has hold of my tongue And I surrendered to Him when I was young Now he commands more than I can believe I let Him move me and it relieve The pressure that’s been building Up in my soul Does a wave know it’s water When it starts to roll Only to crash back into the sea Never really leaving the vicinity Of ocean all the time I thought I could call the people mine But they turned on me and the desire Burned in me like sulfurous fire Always aching to reach out beyond They lock me up and I abscond Only to be returned to the same place again The bathroom floor and me are great friends And it is cool against my cheek Do you remember that time I got weak And collapsed in front of the class I didn’t know the Revelation last Now I’ve got vines pulling at my hands I’ve got an hourglass and it’s slipping sand But does God just turn it when the time runs out So He can achieve without any doubt And is there a way I can transcend Something about the riverbend And being open to what you don’t know I held on so tight, now I let go And the winter can’t stop me loving the snow His hand connected with the wrong side of a blow And I was felled just like a tree Except it didn’t really happen to me Just some grass in the forest I don’t know what I’m doing, if I’m being honest But the road is paved, the path is beaten And I can’t avoid the moment I meet Him There in the woods of ill repute You wear a dress, I’ll play the flute And music will last for the whole night I look up and grin because I am alright
So I got locked up For a crime I didn’t commit And the doctors are in league With the demons I’m dancing with And they’ve got names For my affliction Like love and lust Passion and addiction And I can’t exist Between the two poles Do anything other Than be completely whole And I thought I could trust In a fall away floor So I stood still And the trapdoor Vanished From under my feet Now me and the darkness Finally meet In movements that reach Across my bedroom floor It’s not really Less is more More like a mystery Than a conundrum The wonder is that I Can’t discover Him Where he always was Like light was put on pause And the Saint I love She talks about the distance Between the God of peace And the rest of existence So I know I’m not really On my own Then it bursts to life In true colours shown Like the whole world was pulsing With this desire And the heart of the matter Was a burning fire That gives rise to lit in the tree Like Moses says God is talking to me And the Divine has its own language It speaks in tongues And I could translate them When I was young Now all of the words Turn to a silent tone Like the crackle of static On the other end of the phone
There's a place for you here
In a heart so warm
Resilient enough
To overcome the storm
And the wind is knocking
On my door every day
But when I meet you
There's nothing to say
Coz you're clever, you're brash
You're the epitome of suave
There's no mountain to climb
When you assuage
My fears with the danger
Of what you'll do today
I know there's nothing in the world
That I can say
That will stop you from heaving
The weight of the sea
But there was a moment
You were just there with me
In the ashes, in the fire
In the brave, in the free
You can call it forever
Or just destiny
But you match my endeavour
Like a hidden ring
And I know if you asked
I'd give up everything
To be the summer
In your glass of wine
Would it be okay
If I called you mine?
It’s that time of the season And I just wanna cry without reason And listen to Taylor That summer sunshine sailor Coz she sings the female strife like no one else And she does some good to my psychic health As we both swing into our mid thirties slowing It’s an uphill climb but it’s downhill we’re going And the pain in my soul or in the pit of my stomach Reminds me what it is to be woman And I wonder if I’ll ever have kids And if I do would they be his And if the pain would magnify As love gives birth to what will die And I can’t escape the monumental The infinite in the evidential To succumb to the passing of time Warm my hands by the hearth of fine As we get by on what we don’t know And I loved you so I let you go But you keep returning to my mind To let me know what I left behind And I clutch the emptiness inside But it will not let me hide From all it means to release A form of trauma that doesn’t cease To wake up to the break of day I look down and it’s okay
The sound of defeat as he chooses another lady And I dunno but I think that she hates me For intruding on their sacred space But he was a drug I loved to taste And the hit was high And it’s so hard to say goodbye Like it’s a final sort of end Or worse maybe we’re still friends And he could call me pal But I’m not a second best sort of gal I’d rather cut my losses and run Find something else that shines the sun And who knows, maybe it’s not a man Maybe there’s no limit to what I can Do It’s just not you And I turn on the radio and it’s a Sony Listening to that guy that’s lonely And maybe I’ll meet him in Blue Note Give him letters that he can quote Like before When he beat a path to my door Only for me to fly And the year the whole world threatened to die In a storming cavalcade Is it a fate we can evade Or is it an absolute rest We get the day before the test
Are we all just slowly burning fuses And I dance in the garden with all the muses But they never seem to inspire me They just tire of me As I sing the same old tune The feel of you being in the room When it all went down Now you’ve got the crown And they could call you king or god But you’re not the name I call when I need the Lord The one who never fails to show He picks up what you let go What you saw as infantile Just makes my Jesus smile And I was in the undergrowth When he saw me start to slow And he grabbed my hand Showed me how he understand All of my multiplicity Never calling fake on me Just chameleon to fit the shape Of what I need to escape The rotary burn of the wheel That crushes how the people feel With their own doing nice And old age doesn’t come twice If it’s what you need And we all bleed So there’s no need to cut What you fear in another’s shut Door to your open green Don’t you see that life’s a scene Playing out on the screen of us So I open up my closed heart and trust And it’s a white knuckle ride, my boy You were a sort of joy I found on Twitter Do I just end up bitter Coz I never had what you say Is pertinent in the going away That we’ve all been through There’s nothing like the magic of you
Looking at him And I cannot win Coz he commands the deck And is a head wreck As I try to emerge from my cocoon But the flavour of him is in the room And I try to run but I cannot escape Do you remember when Superman had a red cape And couldn’t see through lead Kryptonite and you’d leave him for dead For all his muscle memory He hasn’t got the best of me Coz I’m no Lana Lang One of the girls who also ran I’ve got my own flair and kick Do you know what you’re dealing with As they try to tear me to shreds For what the people do in beds And I fight my way out with storm and grit Go ahead and call me a bitch For failing to reply to your text But do you know what scene is next In the brimming full of Diagonal Alley I’m on the land overlooking the valley And I can’t stand the facetiousness Of the person they think they address When they hurl their words at me Who do you think you free When you’re all about captivity And holding me back Then the weather attack The spacious air I should know coz I was there When it all went down Now it’s just the past and the sound Of tomorrow’s bells won’t ring in this city And you could say it’s a pity But it wasn’t so sad when you were staring down The woman you love in a white gown Like it was something you could fake I hear it in the sharp intake Of breath that you breathe That’s life, they say, but it’s the life I need
Stuck in ‘08 It was my date with fate As it led me to your door Did you want me more More than I can attest And we’re both fully dressed But I feel your eyes rake over me Like we’re naked with destiny Just us and the come what may And you fill up the gaps in what I cannot say But it’s subterfuge and we’re resting in hiding But there’s something of love that is all abiding Now you’re sharing your soul with someone else With skin so thin you could make a heart melt With the fire that burns off you It seared a part of me too And I can’t change the fact of you I’m not the same and neither are you But we both kinda are Like the atoms forged in a star Or the matter that make time and space Bend the equivalent of the human race To the tune of light refract I never said no but I still want you back Standing outside my window It’s true there were days that I looked at him, though And I cannot deny my feelings were real With the depth of the red that he deal An ace of hearts And mine almost starts To beat double time He was the essence of fine As he’d crack a smile in my direction Like he’s open to cards if I make selection And he lives just across the hall And he kinda caught the ball When I threw it at him Is it a decision I cannot win Coz I love them all The truth in my own freefall
I've got a house by the coast
And I'd like you to live in it with me
I know we've had our differences
But would you just forgive me
Coz you're like the rain
Thundering on the roof
You're like the love
The myth and the proof
And I've seen so long
The years of doing it so wrong
And you're over there
But you've got to know that I still care
As her lashes weave
Everything you might believe
Up the edges of your sleeve
Like the heart you keep on lock or leave
And I hold it so tight
Because you are alright
You know,
And I go
And seek the forest in the trees
It's not everyone that believes
But somewhere in the sidelines
I know that you do
I've got a home for us
Well, for me and you
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It’s threadbare, the stitching of us We’re nothing if not broken trust Coz you swallowed the bullet I handed to you You stitched the thread and pulled it through And the chandelier shatters on the floor How could I hate what I adore As he drives a splinter into my soul And it’s just a memory, the being whole Coz it cascaded And the beauty faded Into a midnight of ill repute And there’s that picture of him in a suit But he moved on, he forgot me It’s like a rope and the fibres knot me Into a thread I long to fray Is everything thing okay? But he turns away and the darkness reigns The years of doing things in vain And trying to get back to the level playing field I watched them sway in the wind and yield Down by the lake And do you know what love forsake When it took him from me Like the ocean to the sea In wondrous tones I always end up alone Though I’ve got friends and I’ve got family But in the dead of night there isn’t any way You can avoid the dark Just waiting for that holy spark To light the fuse Why did you think you were something I could use? Maybe it was the song And d’ya know, you weren’t wrong
The Poetry Book 