So Close It’s Hot

What is God if not a man
And I can’t seem to understand
The love I feel
When the mountain kneel
At the foot of you
I want you too
It’s not one sided at all
I’m standing behind the waterfall
As it shields the shimmer
And I think we’re onto a winner
As you laugh and mess my hair
I remember coz I was there
And I was so much younger then
But so we’re you and again
I play the tune that resonates
Could we call the Ball our dates
As the Vengaboys play
And Liosa is not okay
So I exit the crowd with her
And I was loving what we were
As you followed us out
And all of my self doubt
Falls at the sight of your grasp
On all that is made to last

Still The Same

What is it to love men
It’s over and then it plays again
With a different pair of eyes
It’s God in a holy disguise
And it started 2.0
In 2010 and don’t you know
I gave it my all
He bumped into me in the hall
And said “Sorry Laura” and stared
And I held the moment and cared
About a life with you
You run away but I want to
Follow you down the street
It was fate that made us meet
And I’m in high heels
And he kneels
With a ring to propose
And be the one that my love chose
He looks into me
And I wonder what you see
Coz the moment holds
And I’ve been walking in fields of gold
Since 2005
But we’re alive
In a way I can’t explain
And I hate to try to stop the rain
Coz you know it makes us green
I wonder what we could’ve been
If only I’d let the clasp
Break the moment that you ask
At my car door
I couldn’t want you more
Than I do now
We’re still the same, somehow

The Sighing Breath

He clicked unlock and the case sprang open
To hell with all of my hoping
As I try to run the dial
But I would die just to see you smile
And you stutter the flame
And I see your name
In my email inbox
And I try to explain all I am not
Are you interested, coz you’re older than me
But you’re equally free
And almost as cool
Which guy were you in school
Somewhere in a foreign land
With heritage
I’m sorry I ghosted
Your Facebook page
But I couldn’t hang on anymore
But I rest my head against the door
Coz I can hear your music play
In between what you say
And I watch the light dance in your eyes
You laugh like there’s no disguise
That could ever hide this from me
I just hope that you see
Everything that we are
He makes a joke, I see a star

The Billiard Table

Of all the things to feel guilty over
This is the one you choose
It’s like the game is rigged
For us to lose
And I want to love you
But you make it so hard
I sat at the table
When you played that card
And I couldn’t reply
Coz in the melee something of me die
And I try to fight back
And even keel
Reason with the man
About the way I feel
And they have me caught
It’s like a line that has been bought
By the sum I earn
I take it on the chin and just learn

Love The Sun

The diary of me
Is something you’ll never see
Cos you scribbled on the page
And hit me with your rage
Fed me slowly piece by piece
To the war I cannot make cease
And she strides in with her tide
Tells me I’m alive
And what she would do to make it more so
But I just want her to let it go
Coz it’s brutality
Though she never see
Exactly what she does to me
In the name of love
Or at least the kind she’s thinking of
Obedient to a fault
And I got locked inside the vault
With only T for company
And they expect me to abandon at a flaw
The heat that made the ice thaw
In the winter of my life
I love the sun, I hope that’s alright

Mangled The Day

The time is ticking like a bomb
I stared at the sun coz I don’t know where I went wrong
And he’s the perfect forever a mile away
And I lost the smile I couldn’t make stay
And he’s dark and pristine and an eon too far
Why on earth did I give him my heart
To make pieces of
Like it was love
To shatter the glass
And live in the ruins of the past
Is it okay
To go out on a limb and say
Exactly what I mean
Coz this life is a dream
And unfolds in its own way
You took the beauty and mangled the day

Carnivorous Flower

He made a carnivorous flower out of me
And beat me at my best
He took all of my beauty
And let me do the rest
Coz twenty four years is too young to be dead
And it’s all just knocking around in my head
Singing a symphony of effortless pain
Align with the clouds so I can rain
On the only parade I know
I’d “move on” but I can’t let it go

Sidelines

On sidelines in the winter
The cold pierces my soul
And what are waves to do
But roll and roll and roll
As I stand by the shore
What do you adore
When pain is at home
And wherever you roam
You will find
All that you have left behind
In secrets and in sudden starts
The beauty that his love imparts

The Fleeting Pull

The fleeting pull
of the cataclysmic
Beckons me with all its might
And I feel set alight
By a passion I can barely contain
Oh, let the rain
In all the might, it pours
And, he, the one my heart adores
Just strides into a room
As it is pouring doom
And announces
What the will of all thing denounces
That there is life in the old dog yet
I work the bog and I forget
What all this rendering timber will do
In a hundred lifetimes I’d still choose you

A Sea That Is Whole

There’s a heavy weight that hangs between us
Like the bow of a ship about to turn
And we’re living in a world
That burn and burn and burn
As we’re watching with our candlelight
Hoping everything will be alright
But the torrent is air
And we don’t have a prayer
Against these heavy winds
Let him throw the first stone
He who has not sinned
Coz in this Paradise
It’s not enough to merely be nice
You have to be true
That’s why I’m talking to all of you
And singing my soul
The dream to be
A sea that is whole

Inner Child

The riveting pain holds me to the spot
Like childhood trauma that time forgot
And how do I take care of that inner one
Somebody’s daughter or somebody’s son
Floundering, drowning, trying to stay afloat
Then suddenly Jesus is on the edge of the boat
Pulling me in
Putting my faith and trust in him

👋

Hi Everyone! 

Hope you’re all well! I’m just writing a little note to update you on something! I have started an Instagram for my poetry. If you like you can find me on there @thepoetrybook.space It’s so new to me to be posting in that format and a little daunting. Let me know what you think of my shorter bite size moments of poetry, (if you feel so inclined). I want to thank you all for your support for my work down through the years. It means the world to me. I will be continuing to post long form poetry on here (it grips me by the scruff of the neck and tells me to write) so don’t worry that anything will change on that front - at least as far as I know, you can never really tell how inspiration works!! Anyway I might unpublish this post in a bit as I like having my posts solely for poetry and not promotional or social media posts (I have no problem with others doing this, just like to keep my creations singular!). Anyway if you’re into Instagram or would like some shorter form poetry rock on over to me there! As always leave your beautiful comments and tell me what you think - love hearing your insights and impressions of what I write and life in general! I don’t know if this IG thing is gonna work out but I decided to give it a go.

Anyway, all my love and hoping your universe is rockin’!

Always,

Laura xx

Discord Around My Nails

She’s put me in her little box 
You know the one without any locks
And she tries to close the lid
But don’t you know that I am His
And not weary for the taking
I am stirring, now the dream is waking
And it won’t take tea with any chains
Flies in the face of spurious claims
That may be laid by my door
I have always wanted something more
And you give me more than I can remember
Felt the wings of hope engender
As I stand out on a steady bough
It’s worth more than I do allow
To be here and to be there
You must know that I still care
In avenues and in routes well known
You’ve gotta say the grass is grown
But it still has something yet to give
I open my eyes and forgive

Butterfly and Longing

The butterfly and longing
Sits on my windowsill
It’s not out of the ordinary
Like time to kill
And it’s just a season
Of doing nothing at all
Talking to strangers
Over a brick wall
And talking to those
Close to my heart
Is like making a river
Resemble some art
Coz it’s all in the drawing
And the perusal
I’m giving you love
And first refusal
I’m giving you momentary
On the blink
You just make a choice
You don’t have to think
And furrow your brow
Into a line
You don’t have to be free
To call yourself mine
Only be truthful
Honest and real
Coz the heart that is yours
Was a steal

Rattlesnake

There is a rattlesnake at my door
It whispers eclipse and a little bit more 
As I run for my life
But the rope is of being a wife
And I could have that scene I wanted to
Today's the first time I thought about you
In that way
And I say
It always comes with some sort of dread
But somehow I'm not thinking of your bed
Just your sullen eyes
And the way they barely disguise 
The heart within
Could I touch your sin
And heal you of your pain
If I make the water fall like the softest rain
Come to touch your skin
You don't remind me of him
Yet something's the same 
And your name 
Plays on repeat
I'm still on my feet
When I'm talking to you
Not knocked to the side like the thread's pulling through
To stitch a whole scene
It's just this moment and it's not a dream 
To say you're a really nice dude 
And you kinda exude
A warmth and a heart
And I would love to be a part
Of your friendship zone
I just want you to know you're not alone

Her Due Is Worth

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How do I pay her her due
Coz she was there when I needed you
In the young years of being misunderstood
She was like an atlas in this wood
Like a compass, like a dial
The queen of making someone smile
And hard times hit her and I tried to defend
But what can you say to your best friend
When you see the cascade at the mouth
Of the ocean you have come to doubt
In your seafaring ways
They were the worst of days
But they were also the best
Because we were like none of the rest
In our individual stance
And I just wanna dance
And know that she does too
I wish she knew how I felt about you 
Coz I feel sure she'd take action
And I speak your name like an infraction
Coz you're tied to another extreme
And wanting you would realise every dream 
I've ever had 
And I know I made you mad 
With my defiant stare
But I am there 
Or should I say here
The earth quakes when you are near
But she taught me of the eternal rock 
The one that's steady when you are not 
And I know we're just a ship that's sailed
But something within us has never failed
To meet the tide at it's best
I love her, and I forget the rest

Famous Someday

I'll be famous someday
The girl whispered to the screen
As she watched the mountains
Live their dream 
And she caught every droplet
That fell from the sky as rain
Chalked it up to the cross
When she felt the pain
Of living the life she knows on the ground
You hit me hard and I didn't make a sound
And I just fell like a tree in the forest
Does all of the silence mean that you're honest
And she wrote me a letter
And I know I can do better
Than to live in the suffer
Finally admit that I do love her
In spite of the wolves that came to my door
When she blamed the earth on what I adore
Told me I was perfect, then took a swipe
I walked the floor in the dead of night
And it just awoke 
We haven't spoke
In so many years
And you are the queen of tears 
That set the brigade to run
And pull the thread that makes the fabric undone
And I saw you see me that time that I cried
And I put an embargo on emotions that died
When the glass was cracked
It's like the moment you can't go back 
And forgiveness rules my soul 
But you were the one who fractured the bowl
And I shatter with all the splintered pieces
But there is a moment when the night ceases
And the sun breaks through
And it tells me what I'm supposed to do
In the summer of life
"You will be his wife
In some way, shape or form 
You will repair skies that are torn
And find your true calling here
There is something watching over you, dear"
And I grasp and I cling
But this thing is like a sling
And holds me where it hurts
So that I do not make it worse 
"Let the pain go
Let the rain show
And when you're done
Then, maybe, you'll know"

The Secret Storm

"I've been keeping the secret storm
In a place where my heart is warm 
And I spilled the story on your page
And you are afraid of female rage
As I shout down the line
Why do I have to say this a thousand times
"I just want you to understand 
Why won't you just be my man"
But you check out and run
Close the door like the whole thing is done
Drop the phone like it's a hot potato
And I still remember what you said about Tayto
And it wasn't funny but I laughed
And I was ready to do what you asked
And it scared me that all I valued fell
When you asked me if I was well
I just want to live up to your measure
You are something that I treasure
And the memory is enough to keep the wheel going
But is it a cog, there's no way of knowing
Coz the clock is running down 
Only so much time in life on the ground
As we try to make the most of what we're given 
And you look at me like you're the unforgiven 
But I love you more than I can contain
You are pure and undecided as rain
That just pours from the sky
You leaned into my shoulder and I can't tell you why
I let you rest there
Then turn around like I don't care
Except to say I was scared as hell
And I still am though I wish you well
And you've made a whole world away from me 
And I should be glad that you are free
But I just sit in bitter repose
And wonder why I chose
To let you slip through the cracks
The long and the short of it is I want you back

Coz You Loved Taylor Swift

You said hello
Then okay bye
And there's something about your soul 
That makes me want to cry
Coz you're perfect, you're sincere
But you falter the web when I come near
And you're soft to the touch
And you're easy, then strong
And you look at me like I
Could do no wrong
But I snuck a peak
Into the deepest part of you
And I let you in 
Coz you wanted me to
And all of the fabrications can't make this a lie
That we both wake up when the life tries to die
On us in this subterfuge
Do you take refuge
In her sudden storm
Does she do more than keep the bed warm 
And I ain't jealous, I'm just missing out
And you kind of hit the nail on the head of my doubt
When you said "tell your folks"
This couldn't be one of your jokes
That you just play on me
You're withering and it takes time to see
That the cavalcade is just there to test
And I am not bigger and brighter than the rest
I'm just the puzzle piece to your thaw
And you run the scene like you're an outlaw
As we both find solace in what can't be contained
A sky full of clouds and then it rained

Over Sized T-Shirt

Hiding out in an oversized t-shirt
Coz the wolves know my name
They root me out, they boo and shout
And they try to drown the shame
That keeps my ship afloat
But it is just a friendly boat
Surfing the tide
And I am alive
I don't know if you know
I can feel the way you don't let go
Of your hold on me
Like the gold is free
And institutions know the way
But I guess it's like what they all say
You can't know it til you've tried it
And I only hide it
In my summer clothes
But I'm wearing it well and God knows
That the winter won't last forever
And every beginning was once an endeavour
That shot to the heart
Stop telling me to make art, make art
When I am a living breathing movement of creation
I love to learn but my education
Only taught me how to be the best
So I let it go and the rest
Is history as they say
And there's something that doesn't go away
In all the withering stares
And the vacant who cares
That seem to fall from the lips of man
I live my best life coz I can 

The Power And The Fault

The power surges through the line
And the fuse blows
It's my circuitry 
And God knows
I've done all I can 
To keep the ship steady
Wait for the moment 
When I am ready
But I am pushed out, out
Beyond my cave of fear
And my web of doubt
Be Present, shine
And when you do, reflect some of mine
I searched tomes
And stayed home
For fear of my awesome strength
Then wonder at weakness and where it all went
When the wind blew in a storm
And I wondered why it wasn't warm 
As the lightning cracked
And the thunder wondered why you can't take it back
Once the lesson is learned 
And the bridge has been burned
And cured of all its rope
When do you begin to hope
When the crush is all that you know
And people you love won't let you go
To lead your own life
Only visions of derision and being a wife
To some also ran 
Because I can
Can simply not
See the weather that time forgot
In it's oceanic hue 
It wasn't right but I still choose you

The Wintering

The wintering held my hand for a time or two
I couldn't stand up so I just blamed you
For falling at my feet
Oh, how the chasm meet
Each side of a cliff
And a what if
When the water rises
Does it lift all boats, she surmises
And wonders herself into an avenue 
Oh, the colour red and it's incendiary blue
Are we either shade
And do the bandits raid
When you are not at home
Lock the door, carry your phone
The people say
But I just get carried away
With all of my notions
And my emotions
Are seasonal stares
Do I just sell my wares
On Dawson Street, to the highest bidder
I, like the bird on the branch, don't know how to wither
Just take a death plunge
Then pull up at the end so that the lunge
Makes my stomach drop
And all that I am not
Seems to echo a refrain
I found a way out of the pain
And I want to share it with you
So that we can ripple individually too
Into the whole sea
And every wave is part destiny
You cannot separate out
The moment of truth from the moment of doubt
As it all interweaves
The love of all things is up your sleeve

On A Saturday

Man’s wolverine bites and chews 
It doesn’t walk in anyone’s shoes
It just takes its razor blades
And shaves and shaves
Til your skin is red and raw
An ice man in the great thaw
And I try to hold my head up high
Coz I really do not want to die
But they push me under
And the sound of thunder
Echoes in their refrain
You should be in the throes of pain
But I’m not
And I have not forgot
That man that makes my spirit rise
The sweet eclipse when I look into his eyes
In the land nobody dies
I didn’t mean even one of my goodbyes

Shout To The Lord

They could put me up on a cross
And all would not be lost
They could drive me down the alley
And I would still walk in the valley
Of the shadow of death
And I would not fear yet
For the Lord would be by my side
And I would abide
As I always am
Moving in space without a plan
And the heat of the fire is a furnace blast
But something’s healed within the cast
The broken bone
And the heart of solid stone
Cracks at the sound of the light
I love my Jesus, alright
And would follow that soul, that man, that being
In the waves of ocean that he’s freeing
And all the sheep
Are like people that we keep
Safe from harm
I panicked and he stayed calm
As the water raged
I took a leaf out of his page
When he held out his hand
And said you will be grand
If only you trust
I shake and quake but I must
Go palm to palm
At first the audience and then the psalm
To leave my spirit ringing
Tell me what else should I be singing

The Best Of Men

***TRIGGER WARNING - Mental Health***

This is my first heavy post like this and I want to make sure that anyone who feels affected by it seeks the help they need - poems like this are brewing in me and I just feel the need to be open about this topic but want to make sure that my readers are safe at all times and know there are people there who they can turn to if they are in need. This poem was written stream of consciousness with all my love and I sincerely hope that if it touches you in any way it serves to make you feel supported and heard. All my love is with anyone who is struggling at this time. I have struggled with mental health myself and find that writing opens a well of stability within me. My hope is that you have an outlet yourself and that if you don’t poems like these could be cathartic and healing for you. Know always that there is a Love that will hold you through the darkest of times. There is a calling in me to speak from this Love to all of you about the topics that affect me. If you are going through a crisis at this time please do not be afraid to reach out to mental health professionals who will be able to be there for you and support you through hard times. Know always that you are never alone and that the whole weight of the Universe is here to support you and that your life is more valuable than you know. Written with all of my love, Laura. Xxx
Is it immoral to take your own life
Coz I have dreams of being his wife
But they were cut short by a sudden stop
And I sure miss him a lot
And I just ache across the plain
I wish I could see him again
But there’s the barrier of time and distance
Created by my resistance
To what you were here to say
I hope you’re okay
As you live with her
Coz there was danger in what we were
And I don’t want to crack the glass
So I hope the two of you last
Though I wish it was me
Who could resolve destiny
And be all you need
I know you still bleed
Behind the cover
And you are my clandestine lover
And I was diagnosed with OCD
Then I came to terms with what was asked of me
And I turned to the Lord
He said; help me with the Holy Word
And an indent was made in your reflection
And there is a collection
Outside the Church every week
But there are things we never dare to speak
And it’s like a scourge on our community
And there is no immunity
You can build up to that disease
No matter what you believe
The darkness comes to call
Knocking from the inside of the wall
And it turned round and smacked me with a lash
Like a front of hot air clash
With cold
And I hope we get old
In the years to come
Outgrow the pain of being young
And marriage was all I could see
When I thought of him and me
But the buttress far
Couldn’t take away from what we are
And every star
Shines it’s own strength
I look at us and wonder where it went
And wish you well
I would brave every kind of hell
Just to see you again
You are the best of men

Effortless

I guess I was wrong
I was so hypocritical
I never stood up for you
Antithetical
And the movement was counter
To the culture you know
So GAA in your face
To hammer the blow
Home like you never knew
But I loved you
And your depression reeks
Of the mountain you never speak
And I know you have something
In you to say
I can feel it when
You look at me that way
And the colours are shining
And you’re full of pride
There’s a part of my life
That I always hide
From the well wishers from walls
Sick of getting these cold calls
From a foreign air
It’s as though I’m about to go spare
Running a race I’ll never win
If I agree will you let me in
But is that just bad form
When there’s a part of my heart warm
From the joy of just meeting you
I went along with it coz you wanted me to

The Illusion Of Separation

Is love pain?
It’s a desire to be together again
And the separate
Kind of makes my hands shake
As we’re torn asunder
And all that you have of someone is their number
And years drag you apart
I am all heart
With a thin veneer
To protect me when danger comes near
And the cracks on my shell
Sure as hell wish me well
And I grow older
And bolder
With confidence
And the first defense
Is the war you make
The splinters in each breath you take
As you draw some inspiration
From the oxygen of your own creation
To live anew
I guess what I’m saying is I miss you

Why Do I Feel This Pain?

Why do I feel this pain
It’s like all of summer is making it rain
Do I lean into for all that I’m worth
Why does everything like this hurt
Coz I’m dismissed
Do I exist
And if I do is it in the mist
Or the spring of time
Is the answer only to rhyme
The moment down
Coz a white gown
Is less is more
And I forsake all I adore
And let go all that’s set in store
And the quiet hold
Everything is solid gold
In the meaning truth
I try to find my lost youth
In the pillars of sin
I loved him so I let him in
Then knocked him out
Pushed him away with all my self doubt
Now I’m tormented true
Because I can never have you
Coz you’re with her
And even if you weren’t, we’re not what we were
Sitting on a bus
Holding the memory like broken trust
As I search to find
The number 10 I left behind
I head into the city
Waiting for the trauma to hit me
As I run for fear
It’s been so long since you were near
And my heart felt peace
They look at curtains when they cease
To pull the scene
Were you and I just a dream

Commitmentphobe

Committmentphobe
I don’t know, do you suppose
I could just put this on pause
Am I breaking any laws
To say that I’m not sure that we
Have anything left to be
And you smile, gentle and deft
And I swear it’s a kind of theft
To steal into my heart like that
To the point I say hi back
And acknowledge every greeting
Shur isn’t it grand, we’re only meeting
On some kind of upper floor
And you know who I adore
In spite of all of his flaws
In the spring the ice thaws
And the daffodil will grow
Like all of life does, you know

Motionary

Is it that there’s too much to say
Or not enough
Coz you’ve got to know
I’ve always cared for you, love
And there’s a distance between us
Or a depth we can’t dive
We breathe in the air
Just to survive
And the cogs they turn
In the wheels of our life
It’s like a winter’s morning
With a new bite
In the air
That you can just taste
Oh, what in the world
Did you create?

Composition

Staying up all night writing rhymes
Just get a damn job
But I’ve got inspired
And I would only rob
Future generations of all their freedom
I know this is good but will anyone see them
To be Amadeus out on the line
I’ve got to get it down like the thousandth time
As it rattles in my head like an old guitar
I scribble my life down at the bar
As the summer is storming and the winter is cold
And I’ve got global warming to face as I grow old
And we’re all just sheets of paper from the end
But we’ve got our lives left to pretend
That we’re not these vessels and we can’t contain
An ocean’s worth of indefatigable pain
As I see in you what I feel in me
We’ve both got our roots in Eternity

A Race I Can’t Pursue

Trying to keep up to a race I can’t pursue 
It’s like trying to win the attention of you
And you just turn away, a shoulder to glance
And I am there begging for another chance
To be who I am in your company
But you know we’re just friends, it’s not eternity
And I promised you silver and I promised you gold
Promised together in the growing old
But now it’s as though a chasm has opened
Do you hear me at all or am I just hoping
As I see you though the gaps in my hands
Fingers clasped over eyes that understand
The motion of trees
That we wouldn’t work, would you believe
In all that turns out to be true
If you rely on the weather, it just changes you
And I can’t cut the grass on the field that you own
Can’t win me over once the game is thrown
Into the midnight and out with the day
I’m kind of conflicted about us, okay?

Wary Gaze

There is an underbelly 
And it’s not spoken about on the telly
But it’s there and all
Mystified by the way it enthrall
And everyone is on their phone
Clicking feed to go back home
But can they find what they’re looking for
And I’m just reminded of what we were
When we were on a Facebook scene
And they tell me it was just a dream
Or an obsession
As I’m forced into a confession
That I watched you there
And you think that I don’t care
When I run and hide
But I confide
In you that I must run
I jump at the sound of the gun
Telling me to set off
I can’t catalogue all that I’ve lost

Everest

Her pain is a mountain
That I can’t scale
Like many on Everest
I’m born to fail
But I keep coming back
To her heavenly light
Whispers in the morning
You’ll be alright
And we grow up
Dust ourselves off
But we’ve still got
That persistent cough
That hints at something
Underneath
She lowers a blow
Knocks me off my feet
And I know
She don’t mean it
But did I
Dream it
That we once were something true
Until I disappointed you
By being myself
In a garden of verdant wealth
All to blossom and free
Sorry but, babe, you’re gnawing at me

Iron Will

She rules with an iron fist
Punch drunk love, did you think you missed
When you hit me with a stone
You talk and I feel alone
As the time passes by
Did you want me to cry
When you hammered and nail
And my courage starts to fail
As I follow the line
Beaten to it a thousand time

Midwifery

I’ve done the math, like, a thousand times 
And it told me I can’t find it in any of my rhymes
But it’s still pushes me to let the words go
Some kind of childbirth I’ll never know
As we go into the throws of labour
Could you do me a favor
And stop throwing empty words
Against the wall of already been heard
And it’s a tired tale
Told by those who are up for sale
But I’m not one to barter a trade
Throwing light in the shade
That protects your skin
Do you think I should let him in?

Sexy Motherfucker

Sexy motherfucker up on the stage
I put pen to paper and ruin the page
With all that I yearn for in the night
You’re one kind of trauma I don’t have to fight
As you sing with your heart and soul
And I feel the ache in the place I am not whole
In the summer of a winter’s glen
Will this happen to me again
If I don’t swim in ocean water
Trying to be a good daughter
And adhere to the lines
If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times
Skiing down the hill
Against the force of the brutal will
That seems to hold us all at bay
And it is not okay
Just to swim in that sea
Is it that you’re talking to me
When you commit me to a room
And I become familiar with the realm of doom
As it beats on my door
Telling me it wants me more
Than any earthly thing could contain
The paint is stripped by acid rain
As it pours down in sheets
The car is ruined and the sheep bleets

The Battering Ram

The battering ram taps at my door
It knocks me down just a little bit more
And it’s been this way since seven years old
Or as long as the story’s been told
As I stared into chasming heights
Be the hero that love ignites
In superfluous form
The heat that keeps the body warm
As they try to contain
The way I burst out of pain
And they barked a reply
Because they fear what’s gonna die
But I left those chains behind
With my peace of mind
As I settled for what they say
But it’s not okay
To just be half a soul
The surfer falls when the waves roll
If they are not steady strong
The balance in the place where they went wrong
And I tumbled from the heights
Got stressed by the nights
I woke to a storm
Is it just the world of form
That knocks me outta place
I’m done with the way I save face
Just to protect the lie
I am not afraid to die
Or stand up to the Beast
That seems to have a feast
At my expense
But all that is in the past tense
When you look at the Now
I woke up to It somehow

Checking Out

One web in the tapestry of life
They all think I’m gonna be a wife
And bed down in a house
Learn to be as quiet as a mouse
When the sea rages inside
But it’s not something I’m gonna hide
Coz the flow is taking me
Somewhere where I can be free
And learn to live in true surrender
Not the mangled mess that they dismember
With their words and phrases
It’s the sky that it raises

The Golden Hearse

The axe chopped down the tree
And, the wood, it was me
As I fell from on high
Hard, for some guy
And he brushes me off
But I sense a depth
I get the feeling
He regrets
Letting us go
But, then again, what do I know
And I used to blaze a trail
Til I found his and without fail
I used to follow, breadcrumb sweet
The pebbles led me to where we meet
But there is no way back
And I didn’t mean to attack
I was just vociferously
Defending the best of me
As you tried to tear me down
But you didn’t see the crown
On the king
The bird can fly with a broken wing
But it’s stuttered and weak
You kind of leave me speechless and meek
As you gently assume the worst
The best dress to the golden hearse

The Devil’s Advocate

I relate more than I let on
The moment when it is all gone
And the devil is the only friend you know
When you love God and he lets you go
And I fell into an abyss
I felt the sensation of a death kiss
Planted on my lips
Is it a full moon or an eclipse
Coz the light is strange
And drinking coke will rot your brain
If you let it get to you
Love will break the heart you knew
And I reached out to clasp
But it bit me, the fuckin’ asp
In Cleopatra’s hair
I can’t say I’m glad that you were there
But I’m glad that we met
A lightning strike you can’t forget

My Longing For Dublin

Is my longing for Dublin just coz you’re in it
I’m on the decks and it’s the way that you spin it
And there are buildings scraping the sky
And a civilization threatening to die
And I walked the yards into the green
I was ashamed of what I had been
In midnights and the dawn
I searched for something but it was gone
A pyramid scheme
Til the suffering woke the dream
Up from where it had been sleeping
Now it’s just the promise I’m keeping
As I pray to a God without belief
And the moment of relief
When all and sundry falls away
Some have called it the break of day
But it’s the dark
The dead of night in the park
Just staring at walls
Hoping for a free for all
But I got a cell and a bed to lay
Could I have had it any other way?

Chasing Tail

What’s a race, who’s gonna win
When you’re chasing yourself up and down the hill
And your tail is something you’ll never catch
But you loved her so you left it on the latch
As she storms and she rages
And a thousand pages
Couldn’t capture the mystery you are
We are all born from a star
That grows the grass and warms the sky
What’s never born can never die
And midnights just mark the dawn
What’s not there is never gone
Only discovered afresh, anew
I was in school when I met you
One day on the grass
And the feeling pass
But the longing, it leaves
Trails to disbelieve
And wind up on your sleeve
After you sweetly deceive
Me with that arc
You made your bed, I lie in the park
Just praying for the sky to rain
Or the feeling to come back again
With somebody new
You didn’t know I cared about you

Epiphany

I don’t know if it’s the meds or the enlightenment 
But I’m feeling detached
And it’s the kinda road there’s no way back
And I’m just standing in the queue
And the one I’m waiting for is you
And he’s singing his soul and I wish he was mine
Why do I do this all of the time
Coz it’s impossible, he’s on the stage
And the girls are screaming like he’s all the rage
And his hair is long and his locks are pretty
And I would love to rule this city
But he’s a triad long past going
I remember UCD when it was snowing
And the boy I loved back then
The fittest male on repeat again
As my heart tells me to be who I am
Like Kilglass chasing Sam
For the thousandth time
I make my own pain rhyme
And it is longing and it is desire
He sets my soul on fire
With his softly so
There are deserts that I would go
Just to meet him at the gate
I dunno why I wait
For the perfect scene
Like it could be in a dream
Like I made of you
But the urge is pulling the needle through
And it’s sewing a seam
Threading a quilt with what’s spilt, it seems
And the love’s in the wanting
But there’s something in me that’s haunting
Every step I take
It’s what happens when the demon wake

One Kiss Love

He’s not up for one kiss love
And I am ocean but there’s a dove
Come to bring news of nourishment
It’s not many who need encouragement
To sail that way across the sea
When they find dry land they’ll forget about me
But something in his smiles’s forever
Not changeable as the weather
And he may not be right for me
But right now is all I see
And he’s got emotions that shiver me timbers
He could spin the whole world on the tips of his fingers
And I hope he remembers our moment so still
And the light catch his eyes, oh I always will
And hope and pray your life has been good
It’s like living in forests, surrounded I stood
But he gave me ways to breathe afresh
And find solemn ways out of this mess
As we crush a penny into a shape
It’s red that we find in our softest escape

Photo Credit: https://pin.it/3VIRmKs

Reflections In The Sea

Little girl, broken at fourteen 
It’s like the rake had snaked over my dream
Then suddenly sun
A light shone saying; you’re the one
And I cry
Though I am not afraid to die
Let me go
It says there’s something I must know
Before I depart
My love, you dove, you are all heart
And that beating sound, in your chest, you know
Is a signal it’s not time to show
And I sigh
Do I ever see beautiful in your eye
In his or theirs
Could this be an answer to all my prayers
And I climb up stairs
To watch Smallville alone
The years before I couldn’t put down my phone
And his sound
Came through on the breeze
He’s like a tree
He is all leaves
To blow in the wind
Our double entendre
The way we have sinned
And then twenty nine
I say, my darlings, I am fine
But I crumble apart
The night before I sat in the dark
To hear the cruel sound
Of myself beseeching the earth on the ground
And where do I go
If love isn’t here
I’ve always walked through
The chasms of fear
That seem hold at arms length
And never make a dent
In the trouble I know
A brush with trade and I am all snow
Or polar bears
Lost in a midnight where nobody cares
That I know isn’t true
I saw the starlight in you
And the reflection
Was enough to warrant a closer inspection
So I hunt you down
Find your page
Flip through it
Like it’s all the rage
Against a machine
I know you like
I’m all mumbling
And hand me the mic
So you can hear my voice
I’m drawn to you without a choice
And it endures
As the water runs, it pures
Out into the open sea
Do you think you could see yourself with me?

Heartbreak Season

It’s heartbreak hotel
The words and the tell
Coz he’s got me on lock
And I can’t pretend to be something I’m not
And I’m shaking on the phone
Coz I’m kinda not alone
When I hear you on the line
I’d come back a thousand time
And you’re probably married
With a little one too
And I’m supposed to smile
And be happy for you
But I just long
For your arm around my waist
You’re all the dreams
I’ve ever chased
And it’s sunset strip as it does down
And you used to live just out of town
I sometimes turn my head to see up your lane
When I’m driving in my motorplane
And I dream of you in my car
As we make love before the stars
Can turn back into day
And I know you’re taken, okay
But it don’t stop the vision from spinning
And I’m always winning
So I kinda hope he don’t see the truth
That I’m still living in our youth
Coz I don’t want to steal from her
But I’d meet him at the water
In all the silhouettes he own
And I guess my body’s grown
But I’m still a kid in my heart
And I know there are rules so don’t start
I’m still seeing the same thing at my microphone
I gave up clicking home

Wrinkles

I wanna get wrinkles with you
And you know what I gotta do
I gotta confess to all I’ve been feeling
And let you know the heart you’re stealing
Coz in the growing old
There are so many stories to be told
And I kind of found myself
Taking that old book down off of the shelf
As I memorize
Your hello, your goodbyes
As you let me know what’s important to you
And I just want you to know I love you too
And if we are on the same page
I’d like to salute you as we age
And I know you’re afraid and nod to me
I want to be the river set free
Rushing out towards the sea
I will love you eternally

Her Own Shore

She’s low in her boots
I can feel the roots
Intertwine with mine
As we both proclaim we’re fine
And try to be what we were
I used to be empty without her
And crave to find her company
Now I just let her be
As she navigates her own shore
Thinking we don’t love each other anymore
But she’ll always have a place inside my heart
Even though we may be apart
Or unable to communicate in a way that’s true
You’re a mountain to me, darling, do you
Know that, my dear
I wipe the glass so it’s crystal clear
And we drive all over town
Do you still hear the sound
Of the steady chasm call
I just want you to know, that’s all
That we
Forever be
Eternal and true
I was looking for the One
All the while I had you
And appreciate
When I was in that state
To be guided, steady hand
As you play a rock band
I’m not really into
But it’s important to you
So I listen
Teardrops glisten
As he riffs a guitar
Oh, in the wonder of what you are
I don’t know
The places you go
When you’re tired and alone
I call but you don’t answer the phone
Would you understand
If I said I had planned
A season or two
Where the autumn leaves fly just for you
As the colours change
Atoms and molecules rearrange
Like they will for us too
A plurality of weaving things through
Don’t go
There’s so much I haven’t said, you know
And there are ages
To pay testament to
The depth that I
Witness in you
You’re a star
And by the bar
You raise it high
I exclaim; I’m not afraid to die
As I shake in my soul
You are the weather that cannot be told
And a storm
Are a galaxy swirl
You have to be the scene of the girl
As she rides off alone unto the horizon
I would say I called it but it’s still surprising
Would you stay
If I asked you just for me, okay?
Coz it’s midnight without your dawn
And I can’t abide the thought of you gone
Don’t worry
I’m not in a hurry
To go picking up leaves
And everyone just believes
In the story they’re told
I will be brave, I will be bold
And ask
You to drop the mask
And just share
In the depths of the ocean know that I care
And will open the door
If you still want me, I implore
Don’t let the time go by
The ways and means, the way I cry
Is it just an incomplete
Coz I’m always begging at your feet
For you to change the tune
The earth quakes when you’re in the room
And I didn’t forget
I just thought that room was to let
In the forest where I ran
And you found something I don’t know if I can
In the cycle role
What is the meaning of the soul
Coz you exclaim
Could you just call me by my name
And not let go
Every breath that I breathe is for you, you know
And the wind howls and knocks on the shutters
I catch every word she barely utters
Could peace come to last
In a gentle warmth, not a furnace blast
As everything precarious, tips on the scale
I know that I’m bought but it’s not for sale
To anyone else
And mental health
Is a slogan or two
Do you see the needle as it’s pulling through
Or just the tapestry sewn
Do you know how we have grown
To be side by side
I thank the Lord you are alive
And shining from skies
In the place where we’re free there are no goodbyes
Or futile tries
I’ll see you soon to look in your eyes
And know
That it’s mutual, this feeling we show
In the years and time
In for a nickel, a penny, a dime
In all the ages
And the ripped pages
Of the story we write
I dust myself off, say I’ll be alright
As the leaves blow
I’ll be up to the challenge, you know

Lucky Marriage

I kiss you through the phone 
Man, it feels good to not be alone
All the empty stares and vacant spaces
A nothing where there used to be faces
And I’ve cried for so long, now God’s drying my tears
Saying It’ll make up to me for all the years
That I spent chasing a blank machine
Whether telephone or computer screen
Just to find myself in there
And all the people who don’t care
Especially her
Are we still what we were
Coz there seems to be something breaking our souls
And it’s like we’re both at opposite poles
And both cold
In the icy air
I look away
She meets my stare
And we both huddle closer to the fires we’ve built
One that will not make us wilt
But grow in its candlelight
I climb up the mountain, I am alright
And she’s in a cabin safe in her bed
We just took different paths, she said
And I hope she is well and feels her potential
I’ve always held her so reverential
As our friendship goes
We’ll make it through despite the snows