Walking into the dawn for the last time And it was a crime To shut down my cocaine heart Because he had a part Of me I can’t take back And his name makes me jack The car right back up I told him I was in love With him and his stunned response Was enough to ensconce Me and so I ran away I didn’t care what he had to say He told me it “was not his problem” So I didn’t try to solve him And why he was being so cold I thought I was brave, I thought I was bold Now he’s shacked up with another chick And I forgive him for being a dick To me on the phone Just leave me the fuck alone But he knocks and knocks until I answer the door “Do you not love me anymore?” Like I am supposed to adore Being knocked to the floor By a blow to the chin Yes, I was with him And what’s it to you His eyes tear up, why do we do what we do To each other He is my soul brother And I want to see him well But he says happiness is a form of hell With a bow tied on the knot Did you think I forgot What you whispered in the dark And the mark It made on me I loved you, that’s why I set you free…
I don’t have to wait Just so I can call it fate And find the perfect partner in you There were other men I stared into In my years in the valley And Sally Announced my proclaimation When I met you at the station Where we had docked our phones In our separate spheres of alones And I click high Just so I can say goodbye To a scene I dressed for And I may have called her a whore In my mind Because she chose to find All I had left behind In the wilderness I face Why should I care who you date And it is an adjacent slur And you don’t deserve her When you typify The way you lie To yourself in the grass I know it will not last But I wish you both well From my vantage point in hell Bitter and bubbling from the froth Of all that I am not Then John crosses my sightline And I have to double take the time I spent staring at you I think this guy will do The job you vacated And it was never stated As such But he just loves so much He reminds me of something clear And for a moment I forget you, dear
There is a dragon at the end of the road And he threatens and he goads And I want to stop taking the pills Because they make me feel ill And tired and grey and heavy and thin And they only separate me from him But every time I do I face a backlash from you As your tail curls round to see What whip it can get at me And I find myself back in the arms of thieves Because some part of me believes That I am a danger to myself So I ask them about mental health And they consign me to a locked ward And I am so bored With all the women I have to escape And find Superman’s cape Tied around a male nurse And I don’t have to rehearse The joy When that boy Looks me dead in the face And says it does not go to waste His name was Emmet and there was a gap Some kind of terrain I could not map As he came into my room Where I had been curled up in a ball of doom Just anticipating The TV station They would play tonight But you stumble and I laugh but it’s alright And you fall into the chair By my bed and your hair Matches your beard And I’ve always been weird But you don’t seem to care Even though I am in there And you’re on the other side of the glass I see you ponder and it’s fuckin’ class You look up towards the sky And I wonder if you’ll ever die Because that kind of eternal is forever And I found a place that would never Ever let me go There was a lion on my notebook I coloured in so They would know That a whip and a chair Is not enough to get me to cut my hair
I love the way you stare at me From across the room And it is too soon To let you go I thought you would never know I wanna make one with you More than you could imagine I do And there’s something holding me back It’s like a massive attack That sits on my shoulder But now that we’re older I wonder could I make contact again And tell you that you are a ten In my eyes Like the hero in disguise You said you’re not a dreamboat like Cian But that’s not what I’m seeing You’re not preened and you’re not pruned But you are the only one in the room When you look across at me In that pink shirt that skirts my destiny As I see you give a presentation And that’s the only education I’ll ever need And I know you bleed Over me Do you remember that time I suddenly see You all had discussed The realm of broken trust And your best friend passed me by I suddenly wanted to cry So I got up to leave Flashed a look at you like I couldn’t believe You had spilled a secret true Into the study area with the carpet blue And as I gathered up my things I wished I had wings So I could fly outta there Because I care More than you could ever know That’s why I had to let you go
I feel a connection with him And I felt the lights dim When the electricity fluctuated And they’re obsessed with who he dated In his late youth The fake press can be a brute As they report Without making a fort Of due diligence true And I fell in love with you Coz I could see that look in your eyes You know the one that never dies And I know you were with her I just don’t know what for Because she is beautiful and serene But her eyes only ever see the dream And you, too real, burn her candle The flame between, too hot to handle And it starts a decade long war And the streets may be paved with tar But they don’t take New York from me The one you sang about in the days you were free Of the burden that you wear Like flowers in her hair Pink and blushing and young and sweet Then the two of us meet And you promise me eternity In a ring that spins infernally Like a dial on your heart You don’t have to swear to take part In the love that we share I know because I was there And you care More than I gave you credit due Now I’m back writing odes to you Like that dream of a YouTube scene Where you propose And it doesn’t matter what clothes I wear You always meet me there
I watch it fly into the sky And, you know, everyone cry But not everyone wakes while they live It happens when you forgive That girl who took a lightning strike And aimed it at me but, like, I turn it into some kind of illumination And now every tv station Plays my tune Like I’m the only one in the room And I meet someone I would like To meet in the dead in the night Sneaking out into the grass I didn’t think our love would last But it’s been fifteen years And we’ve weathered rain clouds emptied of tears As they fall on us And I trust Him to do just what he craves But he’s the Superman who saves Me from the boring grey He is like a sun ray That sets all the colours a throb And I give him what he wants to rob From me And dignity Won’t keep this secret quiet It’s always been a riot In that avenue And his blue Offsets my red Til we’re white light in bed Making one with the serene This is beyond the dream And they say twin flames reside In the place where duality hides Its face from something so pure He’s what I bank on and I know for sure That we’ll always be eternal prose And he might be the one who chose Me, but on my side I’m just glad he’s alive In this incarnation And my education Taught me to always say no But with him I’m like, let’s go And get on with the show You claim to make But I’ll be no oven to bake Some buns for the eating I gotta be the one you’re keeping For forever in a sigh Our love will never die
It is taboo to talk to The union between me and you And you respect the silence But it is filled with violence As we both observe the line That has withered with time And breaks into grass And me saying; “this is class” As you move the die And I try To share without saying too much But it’s not enough without your touch To turn diamonds into skin And when I am with him There is no mountain I couldn’t climb He is the Light Sublime And it is hard to see When he is looking at me Like some kind of Twilight story He says; “oh, please, don’t bore me With that kind of tripe I just want a wife” But he winks and I see That he would go for drinks with me If I asked but I am not up to the task And the mask Slips And he dips Into my sphere The danger when you are near It seems to announce A male who is ready to pounce Or be on the attack For some prey he won’t give back And, I, too happy to be slight And wanted with all his might Just sigh and batt my eyes and say Well, okaaaay!
We have secret worlds And I was always one of the girls Until I met you And it was as though everything melted into One And the Sun Shone in your eyes And no disguise Was measure enough for man I whisper that we can Though you scarce believe it And, I, up my sleeve it Til I’m hiding on Tumblr like a foe Visualising places we could go If we had free reign And I meet you again In the etheric realm Some kind of angel at the helm Of this ship And you equip Yourself with longing And absent belonging As we make music (I didn’t choose it) But I like the tune And our love fills the room No, it’s not just you It is me sure as hell too On this path And there is no wrath Could ever separate our Union pure I am always demure And slow to show The places I love to go In the night But you are alright And take it slow I once thought you were my foe Who would separate The oil and water and equate The passion to love lost And sexuality, a cost But that is not true It is always free with you
The secret language we speak You make me go weak And I can read your mind You have always been left behind And your pouring like water over me Somehow it feels like being set free As I watch your gaze flash Like I’ve got cash And I’m kind of bewildered but it’s nice Did you not see me look twice As you gaze towards the front of the bus And I don’t know why I trust You with my life I see us being man and wife I guess that’s the difference between the genders And the difference between what one remembers I saw you throw me against the screen That day we met in the dream Just down by Supermac’s And there is nothing either of us lacks I felt my heart pound I could’ve sworn you would hear the sound As it thudded against the inside of my chest And I against the one who loved me best In secret we walk Til I found out you talk With another lady, another girl So I snap the locket shut on that world And you gasp from the break I only did it for your sake For how can you split yourself in two And love women more than yourself in blue And my red burns like fire And I tire Of your profanity I want someone who will be real with me And express how he feels Not undress like he steals The moment from another tree I am no apple thief and if you’re talking to me You must take the bite yourself Because I am no wealth To be plundered, lost If I mean you then there is no cost To what you mean to do And you must’ve known I meant you When I looked your way You don’t have anything to say You just stutter the silence And a form of violence Takes you over And I didn’t know her All that well I could just see the hell You left behind When you left her out of her mind With worry and fear And a tear May have escaped her eye But still she did not die And was a shade of cool That I admired in school With her A1 in English The only one who challenged me with relish In her green and blue (I think she may have gotten that from you) And she would always say hi to me Unlike some people I’ve since set free So, babe, what do you say How about we do not let truth get in the way I raise my brows And he allows That infraction Like I accept his inaction And we burst into laughing shapes I don’t know how it escapes My solid steel But our love is real If only in the fifth dimension For you are an extension Of all I want to be And, honey, I’ve been set free And want to dynamite that fuse If you give me power to choose That path for you And, fuck it, ask her too I’m not being miserly But when it is just you and me We can be the business type And set the world right Again If you will reveal the pen You gave me to write And it has brought me to a height That I cannot accurately encompass in words Just, it’s the best thing I’ve ever heard As you hold me with your eyes And in all of our tries We have found Stillness in the lack of sound!
They talk about sexuality like they know what they do When oneness is split in two It seeks to return to what it was And because There was once no you and I There was only spirit that does not die And in my androgyny I found someone who complemented me And there is a longing to unite With the person with which I fight I scream down the phone Don’t leave me alone You retort “I don’t like your sort” I lose hope And the ability to cope So I manipulate At least that’s what you call it when we’re in that state And it’s all ashes and thunder But, still, I have your number And I can’t help but call Though I’m facing a brick wall Like Spider-Man when he loses his ability And slides down the rock face (it looks kind of silly) So I just pull away and out I watch your mask of self doubt Turn to horror and a “no!” I pretend not to care though When I push, you pull And my cotton wool Pajamas are missing something essential An arm around them so reverential And I don’t think I’ll ever bear child But you still drive me wild In the ether we share And I swear It’s mountainous prose As we travel the roads Looking very like two well worn skins And it’s always she and him Til we merge into unity We kiss and our love is set free
Finally pulling out of the left lane Coz I don’t want to go down that road again Though it may lead to the stars The people are all chasing cars Without knowing what to do If they catch them and you Are doing a dance by the water And maybe you haven’t caught her Maybe it’s just that you inspire Me to take it higher Than I’ve ever known And I’ve grown In so many ways But it’s not like what they say That you regret getting older Growing skin just makes me bolder And let prone to deny The fire in me that defy The king and queen of nothing at all To go ahead and build their fuckin’ wall And see if it can keep me out I should watch my mouth But I never could contain The sky that is full of rain From pouring it’s whole weight through I meant it when I said I’m in love with you And kissed the knuckles of your fist How relieved I am that you exist And it doesn’t matter what we were Or if you are with her I’m just grateful that your sky Merged with mine before we die In this earthly realm of mystery And in grey history I found a pearl I want you to know you are my world
I was trapped in a chasm But I could hear the music And it’s not as though I’d ever choose it But I got high on Owl City As the folks would sigh and say what a pity That girl is so low But there are a thousand things you don’t know About the way I function And the junction Appeared so I took the road And I haven’t slowed Though I look back in the rear view mirror And it is not any clearer Than it was when I was ten And to tell you the truth I would live it again If I could I know there was blood But I pulled up from my knees And went into the ring again It took time but I fell in love with men As they would cross my path And wonder “what the hell is she at” Because I’d look and I would stare I wanted to see just what was there And it is conditioned out of us We’re supposed to learn from broken trust And smacks in the face My jaw is sore but I race To the edge of the stage And do not try to contain the rage That fuels the jet stream of air I remember because I was there But it is not a passing trend It is the girl in me to make amends With all the broken paths And the God of wrath I was told would take my life If I did not let him take a wife As his own But anyway the game is thrown At forty two And crescent, could I meet you?
I’m long lost and wistful for a guy that I know But he made another choice so I just let go And let him be He could move the sea With that soul of his And God let him live To be my mate I called it fate But it was more than destined to be It was the recognition of eternity In the miles and miles of all the same A grey that only ever places blame Upon the heads of those who die And break the hearts of the ones who try To be more than they’re born to be I didn’t wake just so I could see But set alight in every set of bones The remembrance of home And she ticks the box just so In the realm of lost in snow And there are pebbles and flakes But He died for all of our sakes And so I meet the moment with his vibe As though He is still alive In the smoke and mirrors you see I don’t know who to teach illiteracy When they’re all high on words While I am away with the birds But alight on a tree You could say we got history!
There where I was I stood defenceless Out in the open plain And she brought the rain dance again and again And it’s not the men It’s the love I bear For those who live to tear The fabric of what we are For the sake of a star That will never rise In our constellation I’m suddenly at Longford train station Waiting for someone to arrive And I realise you are alive As you were And you’re not with her You’re standing alone Looking at your phone And I’m sitting in my car Just staring at the place where you are But I look away Because I cannot say What I will buy If I could only try With the money I have And the feeling bad Was a season Without reason I abridge At least God let you live For all these years And stemmed my tears In the flow I didn’t realise you loved me, you know
Always and forever in bubblegum pop I will always be something that you are not And strive to reach But something they cannot teach Is that you are what you are And everyone burns like a star Til its collapse into a black hole The light returns to its soul Somewhere in the deep In a universe where you cannot speak Of the secrets they utter And the shutter Flies shut on the window As I see her with him, though And drop out of the sky Because some people want to die When they see their lover With another But all I feel is gratitude That she holds the heart of that dude And keeps him warm Because every storm Crashes upon my shore And everything means something more Than it’s first inception And your deflection Does nothing to dim The weight of worlds I am to him I see it in his eyes And that never dies Once it is born So forlorn Though so replete The lady washed the man’s feet With her hair I know because I was there
I sit and wait for what wants to come through But it only ever speaks of you And what we are Some far distant star Shines on us both And the coach We took to the sea Set the both of us free You can trust me I will be here Always, for you, dear Though you may not see me in the leaves You don’t need to believe Just trust and open to what is And I know that she is his But I welcome her care and her devotion I can feel it in his emotion As he speaks to me And eternity Is on his breath But, still, he does not forget Because almost never crossed the line And we are us for all of time In every winter that the trees shake I will be there and when you wake You will see my subtle stance I’ll love you always in this dance
Marriage and prose And less travelled roads Did I find mine With a stranger who just took a moment of my time And let me be He let me go free When I felt the fear encapsulate Because he might want to date Me And eternity Is all I know But I have to let you know I don’t do boys and girls I do you are my world And you have become Everything I thought when I was young As we just talk And we just walk You lift my bag And I drag My feet behind me But do not mind me I’m just shy And I’m gonna love you til the day I die It’s not your choice But I raise my voice To let you know That this love won’t let me go And find another You’re like a lover I never had And the feeling bad Does not eclipse The anticipation of your lips On mine There was a time I thought we were naught Til I saw the line you bought With the skyline in the air So I let you know I care In stuttering vowels And the wolf of death, he prowls On the edge of conversation And education Can’t save us here But she just might, my dear And I do not begrudge The way you choose to express your love And find it reflected In the heart you have selected To be yours And the water pures As it pours through the filter And time will wilt her But it will not change The way the atoms rearragnge To form a sphere I will always be with you, dear
The empath walks and she believes In everything she finds upon her sleeves To be hers But all the wars That people fight In their own candlelight Are open season And she finds the reason To live And forgive The girl that broke her heart And left her in the darkest dark In the age of fourteen There were nights I couldn’t dream At all And every wall I ever faced Was somehow out of place In this vast open space Like stars in the darkness of the case We are all held within And the notion of sin Is archaic and grey And I don’t believe in it anyway As I make my First Confession I sit in the pews wondering what expression Of grief I should portray Because I cannot find the way To see evil inside of myself Everything is ancient and on the shelf And I take it down and dust off The trust that all is not lost As dawn breaks and I realise That I am more open skies Than I ever was land I see you there and I take your hand And lift you up And if I ever thought I knew love It was this moment here You are my eternal, dear
I felt the shards glisten inside of me And it was winter witheringly As I watched the tide recede With everything that I believe In and as heretofore Why is it that the ones we adore Are the ones who punish us In lines we cross and broken trust They try to reign me in But it’s like a corset and I cannot win Then I happened upon him After our meeting on the sly Far past the place where we both die By a strike on our homes And we are both alone In the darkness and the grass Moonlight that doesn’t seem to pass Into the sun And he is the one That I know But he doesn’t like me so I let it go And shut him out of my sky But we both know it is a lie Because he is all of my stars I see them through my prison bars And the walls may be bricks and mortar And if I had a quarter For every time you said you’d be there I could have found someone who’d really care But anyway Leave that with the hay They raked in the summer weather And the heather May induce sleep But you’re a promise I want to keep Deep within my heart and soul So let the waves roll And crash upon grains of sand You will forever hold my hand In my heart of hearts It’s in the end the beginning starts
I will be here for you until the end of time I don’t know how to say it so I’ll make it rhyme And we pulled the latch and we dug the hole And somehow in you I found my soul To be full and round like the moon in the sky And I communicate that which will not die As we lost our brother in the night For a season it was all disquiet As the storm within pulverised And I watched you with tears in your eyes But we banded together like a holy group We took tea with the tomato soup That had been served to us And built that trust Right back up And Love Between us will never depart I say you’re cool, you say I’m smart And I will remember The beauty you engender Every time our paths cross And all is not lost As we say goodbye Watch people we love grow wings and fly To another dimension But it is an extension Of this one And the sun Will never fail to shine On the sacred that is yours and mine
Living in the hills I’ve known my own share of pain And the west coast is full of rain Because it faces the Atlantic And don’t be so dramatic When you say that the wiles of Connemara Has shades of Scarlet O’ Hara With her red hair and wild ways I have to say I cannot leave what he says When he talks about a soulmate And it more than a person that you date It is someone to whom your heart is bound I fell for him without a sound And he tried so hard Did he know that he had the card That would trump a royal flush And the seats were so plush As we sat in the comfort of each other He had the safety of a brother But the love of a fire brimming flame And I didn’t remember his name Because he went by something else And I was a little worried about his mental health But he’s always been my choice And ever since I found my voice I’ve been searching for ways to say I always want to be with you, okay?
The doors that slam shut mean you can’t go back And it came to me like a heart attack Always going for the folds Like adjacent fields of golds Barley blowing in the wind And does it mean I have sinned If I go my own way It doesn’t matter what they say I’m going to be the self I am Small s until you’re taking home Sam For Kilglass Ladies’ Senior team Running with those girls was a dream And we had clashes and we had fights But we’d die for each other on those nights When we were playing under floodlights Out in Kiltoom And the dressing room Was somewhere you always wanted to be Because when they were with me We could sail any ship to sea They walked me to eternity Because out on the run and side by side You know there’s no better place to be alive Than with your friends I toast to the dream that never ends
The growth knows how to spell my name I’d decline if it was all the same And I could refuse the cup to drink But I didn’t have time to think So I let them take me away Because I had too much to say And I couldn’t get the words out It was as though it was someone else’s mouth As it uttered itself from my lips I don’t know why everyone hates eclipse For what it tried to be There is a frayed knot in history That seems to repeat itself In trying to slowly melt The ice cap of true north Some people feel that to abort Their mission is the best plan But I don’t think I can As I’m called to a sea far away And, God knows, I want to stay But the movement comes to my door And I can’t resist it anymore As the man I love finds a wife And I find a tarp worth of strife To keep me busy in the flow I don’t think the people know Exactly what they’re dealing with here And the woman calls me “dear” As she tries to reassure Something that doubts its own pure Unadulterated beauty I felt it was my duty To stare into the abyss Because my first kiss Was not with you I don’t know what to do As you jump leagues out of the sea And turn to face me With those eyes And an inadequate disguise I feel I must tip my hat To the camouflage that you’re at But is it too long to say That **whispers** “I still love you, okay”
The look of men as they cross my path And something in their stillness dulls the wrath Of the God inside my heart One’s a musician, another makes art Another studied with me in school And we broke every rule That night in Tripod when we Kissed the edge of destiny And made two into the one we are He reminds me of a burning star In its effervescent red And I know he took other girls to bed But it doesn’t dim the look in my eye Because I know that I would die Just to see him smile And I haven’t seen him in a while But we are connected on a level beneath The roads that move under our feet Do you remember the night I chased you down As you tried to escape to your side of town And we talked about having a cup of tea As you looked over at me Wondering what I might mean But you are more than the dream Supping oxygen in the tent I wonder where those years went And you threw your arm around my neck In the days reality seems to wreck With it’s assurance of get to be But you were everything to me And somehow you still are I wonder if your heart Is still the same hue as it always was I needed you to know because It’s not every day you meet upon the trail A love that simply will not fail So when you look up into the sky Know that there’s a love that will never die And it burns for you here In this heart beyond the fear Of what they might say You showed your cards and I play My own onto the table so you see That you meant the whole world to me
The Poetry Book 