Category: Love Bubbles

The Object Of Desire

.Reading time 2 minutes.
The object of desire 
Set my soul on fire 
With his white hair 
And the way he didn’t care 
He’d just run his fingers through 
Like it doesn’t mean anything to you 
And does he know anything about women at all 
Because I catch him mid freefall 
And I hope he’s still alive because in this world you never know 
And maybe he has a girl on the go 
I don’t know 
All I know is I’d like to see his stars 
One more time through these prison bars 
Because they were sublime 
Were they only for one time 
As we sit and chat 
In a fast food place just like that 
And something guided me to meet you there
I looked at David and I swear 
I heard him utter the words that it’s okay 
If you want to walk away 
And find another me 
Then you walked in and the rest is history 
And you do not replace his face 
But I cannot let this go to waste 
And you may be older and jaded 
You may wear jeans that are faded 
But you’ve got that lost boy look that I find 
So intriguing and you share what’s on your mind 
Like I don’t see what’s true 
And I play dumb when I’m talking to you 
Because if you guessed how sharp I am 
And how I can read you like a palm 
I don’t know if you would be this open 
I know this is a message to the universe but here’s hoping 
That it somehow makes its way to your gate 
Just let me in and forgive the hate

Secrets Spilled Like Tea

.Reading time 4 minutes.
What are the things you want to do 
You can whisper them to me too
And he hesitates 
Coz he has taken loads of girls on dates 
And he knows where the line is drawn 
On wrong word and the chick is gone 
But my curiosity is impressive 
And his desire is confessive 
And longs to be known 
And though I am only half grown 
I have an old soul 
And I would like to roll 
Like a current in your sea 
In a spin with you eternally 
As we make it into union 
“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”
You make it sound like a bad thing 
And I know I don’t have a ring 
But I don’t need some diamond to prove 
That I’m not something that you’re here to use 
You look down and away 
Your eyelashes flash what you cannot say 
As if to say that’s why you’re really here
But I love the feel of you near 
And if its half and half on either side 
Then could you say that I’m down for the ride 
Or just for a drive in your car 
Will you let me know what you are 
If I reveal my bare knuckle grip 
And are you sure you’re well equipped 
To deal with my ferocious 
And I know I come across precocious 
You call me childish and I balk 
Do you not hear the way I talk 
And I look at the sage for guidance
Is sex a form of violence
In the way it is commonly done 
And if we are all one 
Then why do we have to make two 
Into a broken bargain we must pull through 
And away from 
One minute there and then gone 
I remember meeting someone who’s song I remember still 
He was vowed for all time then gone at will 
And I know it was out of resentment and spite 
But I still think of him in the twilight
And hope he’s happy and well 
But I kind of hope she gives you hell 
For all the choices you took to take you away from me 
And I can’t say that we’re history 
But I don’t see myself monogamously anymore 
So I open the door 
To this tall, dark and beautiful stranger
Who reeks of the perfume of danger 
And it draws me in like a kiss on the lips 
I feel my barrier as it flickers and slips 
When he sits 
Across from me 
So casually 
As if he could throw his arm around my shoulder
And he stands so close and now that I’m older 
I’m just sorry I didn’t give him the green light 
And I wonder if it’s to late to meet him at night
And fight and make up in front of his canvas 
All he’s missing is the sandals 
For he is burned to within an inch of his life 
And he is looking for a good wife 
Though I’m not sure that’s what I am 
I would take your love over my stand 
If I only knew how to stand down 
I just want you around 
But it’s been six years 
And the ancients have cried some tears 
But could we just kick back over the coals we’ve crossed
If you love me still all is not lost

Your Pull

.Reading time 3 minutes.
I can feel your pull 
And it’s as soft as cotton wool 
Aching me in the quietest places 
Are you the man of many faces 
And I turned away 
Because I didn’t want to hear what you had to say 
About the state of the world 
And you just saw me as a girl 
Not as a potential saviour 
And I was the one to raise her 
Up from where she lay 
On the ground that day 
And I want to touch you that way 
So you believe in what I say 
When I say I Am is the redemption 
And Jesus must get a mention 
In this state of affairs 
I know you’re broken from borrowed prayers
But some one somewhere must have been answered 
We hear the music and we are the dancers
In a restaurant 
I can give you what you want 
As I hand you the book 
And I see the look 
You look at it as you hold in your hand 
The weight of someone who understands 
And your magnificence cannot be denied 
And somewhere behind that brave facade I know you’ve cried 
And I just wanna touch 
And tell you I love you so much 
Because you are as pure as the driven snow 
Though you would not say so 
Or agree with me on that part 
But you talk about your bottomless heart 
And how it runs deep 
I think of you instead of sleep 
And wonder how you are 
And if that star 
That burns over your head 
Would like to take me to bed 
One more time 
I grew up to believe it was a crime 
And that desire was a sin 
But it is freedom to be forbidden with him 
As he runs his hands through his hair 
And I suddenly care 
More than I wanted to let on that I do 
Do you know the beautiful that you 
Are in every moment new 
I just wanted to let you know that I wanted to too 
From the moment you said you made art 
Because I know the sincerity it takes to impart 
That kind of thing into creation 
And it may be scary but it’s also elation 
To kiss and tell and then to paint 
My life began when I faint 
Onto the floor 
And God rouses me and says, mo stór 
I have something for you to do 
And one of those things is love you

Walking To The Water

.Reading time 3 minutes.
I ran away to escape your house 
The one that makes me quiet as a mouse 
To suffer your storm 
And what is warm 
Is cold as hell
As all these people wish you well 
Then trap you in a turn of phrase 
The demon it took an eon to raise 
And who am I supposed to praise 
For being punished for what my heart says 
For I love him so
And a thousand miles cannot let him go 
I found the bend in the fork
When I was lying in New York 
Under a darkened zoom 
It was quiet in the room 
And I called out “David” and whispered to him 
Roused him from the sleep he was in 
Til he turned and looked into my eyes
And sees that which never dies 
I know you’ve been though the sea 
Just to find your way to me 
I know you’ve been through the forest
Just to find a girl to keep you honest 
And she looks fine
But does she realise that you are mine 
And have always been 
From the first moment you were seen 
To the last 
We’ve lived many lives in the past 
And we’ve been together 
Somehow amidst the weather 
That just seems to rain 
And we inflict pain 
On our soul 
Because we can’t find the part that would make us whole 
In another’s gaze 
“Don’t worry, child, it’s just a phase
You’ll grow out of it”
But I doubted it 
Like I doubted the law that reminds
You must find a body to bind 
So that you can make two 
And make another out of you 
But it’s just not for me 
I remember the day he said to me 
About a friend of mine 
You’ll have babies running around in time 
And it twisted my insides like a knife in a knot 
It hurt a lot 
Because that’s not something I would ever want to do 
At least not with anyone but you 
And maybe not even then 
All I know is I end my prayer with amen
When I pray for you 
I hope you find the water the Lord leads you to

Some Things I Would Rather Die Than Do

.Reading time 1 minute.
There are some things I would rather die than do 
And one of them is being anything like you 
To live under the weight of your expectation 
To be anything like the past generation 
To have a home and to bear child 
Just leave me alone, leave me wild 
Forget to induct me into the plan 
For I will remain what I am 
And will rebel if I have to 
There something more sacrosanct than you 
In my world 
You call me a girl
But I have become 
So much more than what I was when I was young 
And forced to comply 
I tell you the truth as I meet your eye
And refuse 
To be something that you can use 
To further identity 
The fuel to rule an indentured fee

The Long Blonde

.Reading time 1 minute.
There is a long blonde in my life 
And someday she’s going to be my wife 
I see this as through a prism reflected 
And the woman I have selected 
To be my opposite other 
To hold my child as their mother 
And I know I’m just a man 
And I’m not sure if I can 
Hold the frame of light so the sun lands 
Upon her golden locks as we hold hands 
And she’s precious and insecure and pure 
And if I could intercede I would for sure 
Because I just want to own what she is 
But I look up and she is his 
As he walks in his grey old battered world 
Thinking that she is his girl 
And I see her stare across the room 
When we communicate on zoom 
Before it was real 
A kind of portal and the ideal 
Is cut like a pane of glass
Or a diamond in all the right places
Would you accept this ring if its faces 
Could turn unto the light 
Could we talk instead of fight?

Not sure how this poem will land – just something new that I’m trying!

Unceasing Mystery

.Reading time 1 minute.
The unceasing mystery of Darragh Connolly 
He’s like a balloon that floats in my mind 
And I never told him I didn’t leave him behind 
With my 2.0
And places that I shouldn’t go 
And he doesn’t know 
That I still hold him dear
So I want to make it crystal clear
When I’m wise and famous 
The seasons rise and it changes us 
Into something new 
You must know I’ll never replace you 
In my glass button dreams 
Sewing them onto my coat seam 
Like a dressmaker of many colours
Dancing in the light of all the others 
And Isabelle asked the question and I almost replied
Then I was mortified 
And I almost died 
Over there in Liverpool 
And we were all just so fucking cool 
In our Batch One hats 
More than a product line and all of that 
And I peace sign and I was gorgeous and free
Now I’m old and tired and my dignity 
Has taken a battering 
And the mad hattering 
Almost led me down a fevered alley 
So far from Balally 
Near Dundrum 
And I succumb 
To the pressure 
And let them mark the fissure 
And see where I crack 
And I know I can’t get that perfect back 
But I found something better
A kind of freedom from the weather 
That just pours on me 
I close my eyes and let it be

Taylore

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Are you in on the ruse 
When she lights it like a fuse
And it’s taylore 
Like cottagecore
Somewhere in an avenue 
Or a forest in the heavens blue 
And I just want to let it be heard
That I heard that bird
When her wings were still free
Before clipped by profanity
Though no less profound
And I listen to their sound 
And divinate 
Like some kind of awesome on the dinner plate
That fills you up and nourishes the soul 
Til you’re empty as the begging bowl 
And whole 
Can you see it too 
She’s mellow yellow and here for me and you

Human Again

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I feel like human again now there’s a chink in the chain 
And you know you’re from Ireland if you trust the rain 
To always fall
There used to be a Berlin Wall
To separate the East from West
Like they separate me from the one who knows me best
And they trap me in a cage 
So I let it rage on a page
All the good they ever did
Was just to confirm that I’m His
Am I crazy
Do I let it faze me 
Or just let it raise me 
From the dead
And I lay in my bed
In Dean Swift 
And Emmett said whisht
Don’t worry your little head 
And he all but winked at me instead 
As I lay there and just stared 
But I dared 
To cross a line 
That was so fine
As a pen with a nib
Can I ad lib 
And find a quote 
That I could float 
Did you know that I wished 
You were not a star that I missed
As I shoot past your gate 
And I may have learned to hate
The gatekeepers at the door
But you’re something I adore 
And the fallaway floor
Let’s me out again 
I call it men
But really it’s human kind 
And women want equality
But it’s revenge that’s on my mind 
For the guy that took me down 
And now it’s an ocean that I drown 
In my wide open air 
Is there any proof that I was there 
When the final crack of the whip 
Split my lip 
And I bleed words into the abyss
Why do I still miss
Someone who did that to me 
And if you’re chained to the sky are you free
Like Dylan says 
I’m not sure anyone is listening anyways

The Red Door

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Taylor is murderous in the suspense 
Like some kind of Kali, in her defence 
And I can relate 
Coz the man I used to date 
Left me in the wasteland, baby
And I kept thinking he was coming to save me 
When I realised that you’re on your own, kid
And there ain’t no cowboy on the way 
And what is it that you say
It’s not your problem 
Excuse me while I go and solve ‘em
Like some kind of sorceress
While you go undress
In front of some other chick 
And a friend of yours said you can be a dick 
And I know that’s true
But there is also a deeper part of you
That emerges from the trees
When you hear me on the breeze
It’s like a siren call
And I know you hear it behind that wall 
You construct 
Is it fucked
If you don’t know the answer straight away
And I know you might be gay
For something I don’t understand 
I just know if you weren’t a man
I would still feel the same way about you
It’s the soul that I whisper to you 
And it catches me and pulls me up 
I didn’t know about this kind of love
Til it caught me out of my senses
And there are moments when he drops pretenses
And lets me in beyond defences
I think that’s what has me hopping fences
Coz I know what’s in the garden 
I’m just the girl at the gate in Elizabeth Arden

Resolution

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I’ve been flailing over your name 
And you said you’re just not the same 
But you also said, please don’t leave
So I don’t know which to believe 
And you hold the edge of my shirt 
And you beg life not to hurt
You anymore
But you close the door 
When you see it’s me outside 
And there were years I hide
Because I was scared of what you’d see
But I never thought you would hate me 
For what I’ve become 
And you only loved me when I was young
And you wanted to get some 
But then I bloomed
And you were not the only one in the room 
But I feel the end is coming soon 
So I must proclaim 
That I clicked into your name 
When I saw it on my screen
And it opened a panoramic dream 
A wide landscape 
And it called me to escape 
From where I was 
Am I breaking any laws
If I say I love you so 
But you just sigh and ask me to go 
That you’re not alone 
And you can’t keep talking to me on the phone 
Not with your girl beside you 
And I deride you 
For a lack of backbone 
But you still have a home 
And I’m at the edge of the forest 
It’s wild and free and it keeps me honest
But I miss the familiar plains of your face
And the way there was no time to waste 
When we met 
And I cannot forget 
The desperation 
Am I getting above my station 
To say I saw myself refracted 
I was a puzzle but you hacked it 
Then left the code at my feet
And I admitted utter defeat 
And shame 
That I can’t take your name 
Only the blame 
For all the ways it won’t be the same 
But I’m still grateful to you 
And to her for pulling the needle through 
On the line you sew 
And I claim I know 
But I am ignorant as fuck 
Was happening upon you pot luck

With You, Love

.Reading time 3 minutes.
I feel like I’m breaking on spindle edges 
Like I’m a crane fly and what they said is 
True maybe 
I might be crazy 
Under some flicker of light 
But I’m alright 
I’m just tilted, isn’t that it 
And they used to think a free woman was a witch 
As mass hysteria ensues 
In Salem and the blues 
Eat up modern civilisation 
Is there anything I can do in this education 
In the ways of life 
I always thought I would be a wife 
But I found a bigger dream 
And it sounds a lot like a scream 
Echoing in St. Pat’s 
And I was afraid of bats 
And what they might symbolise
But I still saw beauty in your eyes 
And they way they would rest on me 
When you think I’m not watching I can see 
Out the corner of my eyes and through my energy field 
I feel him push forward and I yield 
So that he might feel safe
But I must warn you that I escape 
The clutches of anything might contain 
The essence of some kind of suppressed pain 
And I want to help you get free
But I will not let you hold me 
Just to crush what I am 
And there may be a plan 
But it doesn’t know about my soul 
And the waves may roll 
But it’s all in the now 
A cavernous expanse of the vow 
I made when I let you in 
And if I let you win 
Does it mean I get to keep you here 
I must tell you I hold you, dear 
In my heart as it beats, you warrior of light
I hope you are alright 
Coz I had to cut ties and run 
And you’re beautiful, son 
And you may be older than me 
But I’m ancient beyond our history 
I glimpse into a past life 
And I’ve got to tell you it isn’t nice 
But it’s what’s real 
I thought I should tell you how I feel 
If that’s okay
I sip my straw at you that way 
And the dial connects 
And now the dream is wrecked 
But the truth holds up 
I think I might have fallen in love
With you, love

Radiating Shame

.Reading time 3 minutes.
My secret shame lives in the recesses of my mind 
And it’s not hard to find 
I just sit on my own for a while 
And then that darned magnetic smile 
Comes to spread across my face
Even in the midst of disgrace
Even in the midst of tragedy 
And everything I’m not supposed to be 
Like the giggle in the pew
When I am just sitting there with you 
And we both find our hysterical laughter 
Come to rattle all the rafters 
Of Kilglass Church
And I know it hurts
That I’ve changed
It’s just the stars rearranged 
In my sky
And I can’t map them like how I used to try
To give me an orientation to be
I just found something so free
And it is liberated 
From all the ways I’ve been educated
In school, at home, in the holy
But I’ve found a love that beats for itself only
And it is in every warming chest 
And the boys that know me best 
Like meeting Darragh on the edge of Glenomena 
We live mere feet apart and now Philomena 
Knows and she is glad 
Because I was so very fucking sad 
And I roamed the grounds of UCD
The concrete jungle that couldn’t follow me 
In beautiful sight and colour 
And Isabel only made me feel fuller 
In what I am 
Because God knows she understands
What it means to be lit 
From within and I sit 
Across from her 
And what we were 
In the age of twenty one 
And I watched the sun 
Shine in her eyes 
And beam out of the disguise 
That everyone wears while in the case 
But she’s got something so radiant in her face
And we fight over that guy
In silence and I know why
Because he is so damn, fucking awesome 
He gave me his party glasses like it was lawsome 
And then I gave them to Niamh
Because I know what is up his sleeve
But I watch them take them back with a smirk 
I never wanted to hurt 
You, I just want to be free
Not someone else’s by degree
And I love you so 
So, will you let me know
Someday when we meet again 
I still see you as more than a friend

The Concrete Jungle

.Reading time 4 minutes.
There is a boy somewhere far away
And I know that no matter what he may say
He can’t escape me 
Or erase me 
From his grasp
And the asp 
Bit me on the neck 
Of the dream I thought to wreck 
And I wonder when we both might die 
Me by accident and you because you want to try
To see what’s beyond the pale 
And I know what is not up for sale
But I have no cash to buy
Just the lashes I use to lie
About who I am 
I look away and that’s part of the plan 
Because I cannot let you see
That you have found your home in me 
Because I know that someday we’ll be separated 
Whether by force or because we’ve been education 
To believe in the divide
And I abide
Somewhere between God and Mass
Between being a good girl and getting an A in class
And it’s something growing up in an Ireland in transition 
Where people still use ammunition 
To fire at you 
While tolerance is preached to you in the pew
And it’s not okay to be gay
Then it is (or at least that’s what they say)
And I think of Stephen Gately 
And the people who cannot find a home lately 
As the rows erupt
And people on the news say that we’re fucked
But I see another scene 
And it resides in all that we’ve been 
In all these centuries 
And the millennia before they told us who we could be 
If we just believed 
But the dragon falls and I’m relieved 
Of the burden I bear 
And I watch the fabric tear 
On all that I thought I knew
This land always meant more to me than you 
And I know you’re somewhere in the city
And I tried it for a while but it’s a pity
But I missed the hills of Kilglass 
And the soul that pours through the grass 
In the fields so green 
The college was a concrete jungle of all I’d never been 
And I found some kind of refuge in Darragh
But my heart is like a sparrow
That sits on a lonely branch and sings
For the boys that gives air to its wings 
And the girls fight over what handbag is on brand 
And I just stare and watch the sand 
Slipping out of our hands 
And wonder why they don’t understand 
That they’re gripping something that is made of leather 
And won’t make them feel any better 
And I know I’ve got to get out of there
Then I find Tessa and Jennie and I know that they care
As we find some kind of peace in Nutgrove Avenue 
And I drove my own car down the roads of you 
As I stay up til five
Exuberant in the knowledge that you’re alive
Somewhere over there on the west coast 
And I don’t mean to boast 
But I think my man is the best 
Because he’s deeper than all the rest
And I cannot contemplate 
A series of x’s and y’s that do not equate
To you and I forever 
So I sail this endeavour 
To it’s logical conclusion 
My confession and your confusion

The Grand Exploration

.Reading time 1 minute.
There is a grand exploration 
And it goes beyond our limited education 
Where we are taught what to learn 
And I feel the limitations burn 
At the edges of my conscious attention 
I hear the wings of what they do not mention 
And seek out new terrain 
Like searching facebook and that boy's name 
And it doesn't get me far
Like chasing every solitary car
To help know what you are 
But you elude definition 
You are a first edition 
From somewhere in eighteenth century England 
And I'm just an outlaw people try to disband 
Stealing from the rich and giving to the poor 
But I see you and the door 
Opens wide and the light pours through 
It was only in the night I thought of you 
Now it's all the time 
And I sew you into every rhyme 
And reason that I can find 
The thoughts of you have invaded my mind 
And set fire to all my belligerent foe
They tell me to just let you go 
But the thing they do not know 
Is that I do not want to, so 
That's just the way it's gonna be
That's just me and that's history
That's the forest and the mystery 
Like Robin and the merry men 
I know I'll see you again

In The City

.Reading time 1 minute.

There was Darragh in the city
And I felt him with me 
And I hope he's happy and free
And I wonder does he ever think of me 
And if he does what does he surmise 
Does he think that all we had were lies
Or faint veins of lines 
That mapped the land so undefined 
I wish I could set the record straight
But I just wait and wait and wait 
And long to be your Jess
I saw you converse and I confess
That I watched him with his guitar 
And I wished I could take it to serenade what you are 
And is it embarrassing to know 
That the girl that loved you has not let it go 
And you may have a wife and children too
And I wonder if I could still talk to you 
In our silent communication 
It was the greater part of my education 
In my years in the Quinn School Of Business
I'm not sure the ocean that I bear witness 
To will ever come my way again 
But I know you were the best of men
And you taught me that sly 
Would never trespass in your eye 
Because you let me really look 
And I read you like I would read a book 
Enraptured and all caught in the pages 
I found my soul amongst the sages 
But I found my beating heart in your gaze 
I think of you every time that song plays

Reconnection

.Reading time 2 minutes.
There's men I love that I want to reconnect with 
And there's something that just don't sit 
Right with me 
With this space between us infinitely 
Because it looked like I just dropped hot coal
It was more that I reversed into my soul 
When I felt touched by a stare 
And by a knowing that they were there 
And I can't say it was only one
Because I have seen the sun 
Shine from the being of the purest form 
And when I'd touch a hand it would be warm 
Like the heart that would meet me where I am 
Sometimes I would find it hard to stand 
Like when I met David in the field 
He pushed open the gate and I let it yield 
To his force and desire 
And I may be all fire 
But he is a cool heat of the coal 
Like a soft grey wind of the soul 
Breezing on through 
And your hoodie looked so good on you 
It looked like comfort and home 
And the feeling of not being alone 
And when the door slammed shut
I know you had to adjust 
And you probably thought it was something you'd done 
But it was a reflex I had when I was young 
There to protect the sullen stare 
From what I sensed was in there 
And what could be 
But somehow I'm immortal and eternity
Just sings from these boys that I used to know 
And I will never let go 
Of what they let me see
The part of them that made the admission free 
To the attraction 
Don't say that the satisfaction 
Was one sided 
For, though you hide it, 
I can see the joy breaking across like a wave
And I would save
You in every dream we'd wake
I didn't do it for me, I did it for your sake 
And it wasn't fake 
It was the realest thing I know 
So that might be the reason I can't let it go

You Proof

.Reading time 3 minutes.
I haven't ever found something that could kill the love in me  
Though I let the men I love go free
Coz I'm not the traditional woman that makes a home 
I'm likely to leave you alone 
To grow into the boots that are you're own 
I'm likely to let you win and realise the game was thrown 
Coz I'm more than what I appear to be 
And I think it's time I let people see 
My heart is full most of the time
And I guess it's a damn crime 
I shut myself away behind doors 
Left the men that my soul adores 
And just coz there's more than one 
Doesn't mean that the sun 
Doesn't shine from the skin 
Of every man who steps into the shoes of Him 
I see Jesus in their eyes 
As though it's the Buddha in disguise 
Some kind of awakened consciousness
Or sentience I cannot discuss 
With anyone, anywhere 
I just want them to know I am there 
Always and forever 
And the flowers you drop will always be there 
As I pick the buttercups in the field 
Feel your breath on the wind and I yield 
To the warmth in my heart 
And I didn't mean for the end to start 
But it's just the way with some of these things
And most girls are after rings 
But I just appreciate Saturn in the sky
And think of how we all die 
Somewhere in the mist 
Some people don't even know they exist 
So surface play they swim the shallow pools 
And they put us in separate schools 
To keep the passion at bay 
But my heart knows the song your music play
Grooving to the tune of Paddy wearing an ear pierce
And the way his eyes would turn fierce
When he'd look at me 
So deep and dark and eternity 
And he'd utter a sharp word when his pride was wounded 
And it was like the ball had rebounded 
Back into my chest 
So I just dropped it like I do it best
But I still think of you sometimes 
I wonder if that is the worst of my crimes 
And I saw you in the Spiral Tree
I waited for you and you looked at me 
And I held the barrier so you could get in 
But I don't know if I would be woman enough for him 
I just know his soul spells the sky in me 
It's your light infinity

Losing A Friend

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Did I lose a friend when I let you go 
On the edge of UCD and I just want you to know 
Who you are and what you mean to be 
What you were and what you are to me 
And you would drop your gaze and look away
I don't know why I couldn't make the time stay
Coz I wasn't sure I was girlfriend material 
I'm half wild and ethereal 
And I live to drop in and out 
Of my own self doubt 
And you were honest and true
And all heart and I loved you
But I didn't let you see 
In case you would get attached to me 
And I would have to split 
But I was enchanted and that's what you're dealing with 
As I'm leading you back to the club 
Because I don't want anything to happen to you, my love 
And I get Colin to go out and meet you there 
I want you to know I care 
But you stopped talking to me 
At the airport like you just looked straight through me 
As we'd wheel a case or carry a bag 
And the days drag 
Without you in my life 
I know you probably have a wife 
By now 
But the part of me that I allow 
You access to 
Has not been retracted, you
Still hold that same spot 
Somewhere between the dream of what I could be and what I am not 
Because you were fire red and real 
And I would steal 
You away in a minute 
But just don't think tradition is in it 
If you still want to call on me 
Just click hello and there I'll be

The Landscape We Share

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I'm always writing about the landscape we share
But what if you aren't there
What if I lose you to death
Or to time that would make you forget 
All that we are 
And if the star 
Still shines light years away
Would that be enough to make you stay 
As it collapses into a black hole 
But I can see your soul 
Pouring through that void in your centre 
Through the door I cannot enter 
Without your permission 
And I get the early edition 
On tomorrow's news 
And the pot brews
On the stove
As your eyes rove
Across the room 
And I'm watching as I use the broom 
To sweep dust into a corner 
Who is this foreigner 
In my land 
It seems like he understands
My wayfaring soul 
And the way my tide roll 
Against the side of incoming boats 
The darkness submerge but he floats 
And lands right back where we left off 
He covers up his laugh with a cough 
And his smile meets his eyes 
As though he's a dragon in disguise
That has just been recognised 
Though the mirage of the lies 
He weaves like a fabric over his face 
But I know how to put him in his place
As I stretch my feet across the aisle 
And I feel his heartbeat file 
Past me in an orderly fashion 
I have to say I love your passion 
As you trap me in my seat 
And I can't believe that this man that I meet 
May be my perfect match 
Are there any houses with roofs of thatch
Left in the Irish countryside 
And does that part of you still abide

Walking On Eggshells

.Reading time 3 minutes.
I'm walking on eggshells around you 
Because of the darkness that surrounds you 
And I'm scared you could take it too far 
And tip the edge of the bar 
A scale to far to bear
And I'd have to watch the fabric tear 
On the dream I had of you and I 
I don't want you to die 
But I guess it's not in my hands 
Not since you said I don't own those lands 
Not since you said you don't have the time 
To give me what's rightfully mine
So I took the ring and slipped it back on my finger 
I left the room and the singer
Seemed to announce my freedom
I didn't realise I could leave him 
Alone and together at the same time 
And I guess my only crime 
Was seeing the truth a little too clear 
And that his mechanics run on fear 
And servitude
But I would never want that in a dude
To be leashed by a ball and chain 
I want to dance in the rain 
And kiss by the light of the moon 
Move like we're the only ones in the room 
Be one beyond union 
Never wonder "what are you doing?"
But instead pause to surrender 
To wake and remember 
Exactly what we are
Take him driving in my car
But he took hot sauce and smashed the windows 
He'd hurt me and they're worried but I won't let him in though 
And he bays and he brews 
And it's always bad news 
On the radio when I tune in 
And I don't want to ruin him 
I want to be free and I wish him the same 
I won't take his second name 
Or marry what I thought I loved
But was that what you were thinking of 
When you looked at me 
Or do I know what it is you see 
As you bare your teeth 
Then I put my arms around you on the street 
And you're soft as a daffodil 
Flower sitting on the windowsill 
And my heart skips out of my chest 
And I wonder why it loves you best 
And fast forward all these years 
There's been a lot of shouting and tears 
But as the storm front clears 
I think he finally hears 
My song as I sing it 
I'm the leader and and I bring it

The Line I Shouldn’t Cross

.Reading time 1 minute.
The line I shouldn’t cross
Tries to tell me who’s boss
With it’s threats and warnings 
And just because it’s storming 
Doesn’t mean that’s not how it’s meant to be
Is the weather messing with me 
And I hear the call of Frances deep
Behind every promise that I keep
Somewhere int he wood 
Of the lines of feeling good
As I surfed that wave
And all the people I was going to save
With my wilderness heart
And the love that God had set apart 
For you and I
But does the water die
When it slips through your fingers 
And are the bringers 
Of the other side
Really merchants of doom 
All I can say is I know when you’re in the room
Coz I feel you before I see you
But there are days I wouldn’t want to be you
As I feel the current pushing forth
Past the boundaries of no remorse
And you found a safe haven with her
And I don’t want to risk it on what we were
So I can’t be your friend
Coz I’m only ever waiting for it to end
So we can take up where we left off
And in that kind of love someone must pay the cost 
Of losing what they thought to hold
So I put the letters in bold
I love you but I’m letting you go
I’ll hold on forever though, just so you know

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Conflicting Feelings

.Reading time 1 minute.
Am I the Jolene of the story
As he implored me 
To just let him be 
And I feel a rankling in my dignity
Why would he take this story down 
As if it would destroy his town
And I have no beef with his girl 
But I had to tell him that the world 
Revolves around his sun of stars 
And I was chasing cars 
Around my head in my room 
When I was fifteen and kissed the doom 
As it met you there 
And I know you care
But I rip the page from the typewriter
Because my friend said I would have to fight her
To get to you
And it’s not something I’ve a mind to do 
I just wanted you to know
That I have not let go 

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Third Eye Blues

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I got lost in the third eye blues 
And everything called me to pay my dues
But I didn’t have any money
Though I’m wealthy as fuck, honey
I slot the puzzle piece into the jar 
As I wonder what you are 
And the nomad in me looks for change
But it’s not the kind that rattles when you’re outta range 
It’s the kind that breaks like the sun 
Across the sky and over everyone 
And I play the perfect princess 
I know to whom I must address 
That painful moniker 
And you’ve all already met her 
Somewhere in my early teens 
When I was still staring across moonbeams 
Into the stars
I shook against the prison bars
And she had the key 
I didn’t realise that she was locking me
In there 
Or if I did I didn’t care
Because she used to make me laugh 
But when she shattered the glass she didn’t do it by half 
And I let it go, forgiveness now 
I’m good at that but some remains somehow
Like a grain of sand in the oyster shell 
I grit my teeth as I wish her well 
And I’ve lots of secrets I will never tell 
Well not to her, not now, though she rings the bell 
That signals me to come 
But, hun
I’m not Pavlov’s dog 
And in the fire there’s a log
Burning more than well enough to keep me warm 
And though you brought the storm 
I don’t hate you 
And fair play to the men who date you 
They have more steel than me 
But nothing is more real than eternity 
And it’s something that will not break
So though you shake 
Everything in sight 
I still give a shite

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It’s The Little Things

.Reading time 1 minute.
It’s the little things
Like wedding rings
And fire that ignite
And I hear that you like
What you see
And when the person is me
I blush and then sigh
And I don’t say goodbye
To you again
Coz I’ve made my peace with the notion of men
How you can’t show affection
Without them wanting to add you to their collection
Of dolls sitting on the wall
But that isn’t me at all
Except when I’m walking by the rows
And the feeling shows 
As I smirk 
And I didn’t think that this would work
But it does 
And the story starts because
I let you in the door
When I’m walking on the ground floor
Of the building grey
But the door unlocks when you say
Hello to me
I didn’t think that I would be
Clutching at straws at thirty three

My Lesser Self Speaks

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I’d like to sock her in her puppet face
Then I bury my own in my hands of disgrace
Imagine the steel when my fist connects 
With all the dreams her heat has wrecked
As it’s issuing from her undercarriage
She would die to give it all in marriage 
But she would deny me the same
Hang me like a corpse from his name
And put the splints in my side
Til I bleed water like I’m alive
And somewhere in the windowless chasm
I hear her say “she has him”
And it’s as though she pierces my heart 
Then waits for the thumping to start
Down the cool steel of her blade
Do you wear a hat when you’re in the shade
Or does the sun burn you when you’re in the light
I dunno how it could happen when it’s always night
And a cruel bargain is made
My soul for the games she has played
Like dice on a roulette wheel
Like that bitch that knows how to feel
So they throw stones through the fiery air
Hoping to cut down her flair
In the midnight lilt
I sometimes think it’s all built on guilt 
And when it doesn’t work for them they try to snare
You with a drum that batters like life isn’t fair 
And you don’t get everything you ask for
I somehow found myself at his door
And he let me in 
So somewhere he will always be king
In a monument to the land before time
In the years before I knew how to rhyme
All of my problems into a weave
Then wear it like my heart’s on my sleeve
And if you would believe then it would be alright
But it isn’t for me to listen to people talk shite
Anyway anymore 
I’ll just give up and adore

Falling And Flying

.Reading time 2 minutes.
The winter is falling and flying
People in love and people dying 
And they try to tear him away
But they don’t know that he stay 
In a place they cannot reach
And what we share is not something you can teach
And he may have a woman and that’s fine 
But there’s a part of him that will always be mine
And it’s not just about the rolling trenches
Or the years sitting on benches 
Or when my time came
And the whole parish knows my name 
But I left it in the dust
Because there’s something that I trust
To rise me up from the ground 
And when you hear the sound 
You’ll know that I am here
And what it is that I hold dear
And they were golden years
With Smirnoff Ice and some beers 
With the girls 
But there’s something about the world
When it rotates
And puts you in your place 
And I was there in the town 
One minute and I start to drown 
And I felt it flare her pain 
So I decided to come down as rain
And up sticks and move to New York
But that particular fork 
In the road 
Only slowed
Down my progress to the sky
And I still say hi
When I meet them in the shop 
Coz there is no bad cop 
But there was a cinch I couldn’t bear 
And so the reality tear 
And yet it is so beautiful in Spanish 
I know we can be a bit clannish 
But there are diamonds on the pitch 
And its a place you can relish being called a bitch
Because you know you are doing something right
There was frost frozen on the grass that night 
As we did a stretch
Til we’re all done and there’s nothing left

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Deliberations And Hesitation

.Reading time 1 minute.
Are you a narcissist, I think I'd love you anyway
And I've had my truck with one before you came my way
And she goddamned broke my heart with her remarks 
And I lived for two months in the complete dark 
With no hope of light
But I said that it's alright
Because she is out of my life
Now I just want to be his wife 
And I see the familiar pattern 
Like I am coming at him 
When I just say how I feel
And I wonder if this is real 
Because I'm just sitting by his side
With no way to hide 
Anything that is inside
And I hear in the years that have moved on 
His memory of me is almost gone
And that he has got a girl
At least he tells me that in his world 
I am shy of the ceiling 
And there's no way he can be dealing 
With my kind of shit
But I just keep talking it
Though I fail to say the words I mean
You are my fucking dream 
You are my love and my heart 
And I just want to take part
In your life 
Does lightning strike twice? 
Or does love just make the ground
A place that can hold the sound
Of the thunder as it rolls
Something entwines our two souls 

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Finding Adam

.Reading time 1 minute.
I find that the explosive anger hits me right where it hurts
But I have to admit that it was there first
And has a right to existm
There were years that I missed
Before I was born 
And things were torn 
Like the veil of the sky
When someone is about to die 
And I used to cower in fear
When it came near
Like a monster in someone's shoes
Til I found a man that sings the blues
And I would be willing to give up that terror 
Just so I could correct the error 
In this thinking 
That has him drinking
In the idea that "no one cares"
May I be the one who dares
As I reach out to hold his hand 
And hope that I understand 
Everything under the weight of his cloud
I walk like a widow in a funeral shroud
Mourning all those who've died
But he catches the tears I've cried
And I can see in his eyes
That he would have tried
If no one had been there to stop that train 
So I come round again 
To sit on the cart
And give him all of my heart
You are a special soul 
And I'll be with you as the waves roll
Come what may
It doesn't matter what people say
It only matters what you are
And you, my love, are my burning star

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Impressing It Upon You

.Reading time 1 minute.
Let sleeping dogs lie
And let that boy try and try 
He’s never gonna get a bite on that line
I thought I told you the first time
And I love you, now and forever
But I do not endeavour
To chip away at the old armour links
And I know that he thinks
He can overpower me with the weight of his control
But I’ve only ever loved his soul 
And not the frame that he gives voice to
Although it is beautiful to see you
Shining through the flesh and bone
And feeling less alone 
When I am around 
But the sound 
Of one hand clapping 
And the ideas that you are mapping 
Won’t find you the treasure you crave
I’m not the girl you came here to save

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The Fawn

.Reading time 1 minute.
The fawn is always yawning out her insides
I swear you could set your clock by the way that she abides
By the steady midnight tock 
Of the stories that she keeps on lock 
And I’ve decided to just drop out of her sphere
Because chains, bells and whistles when she is near
And she never listens and she never hears
She is the iceberg as my ship steers
Unto it’s own direction 
And it’s as if love is just a selection 
That we make 
I know you call the boys and girls fake
When they do not measure up 
To the talisman of our love
And I keep it held in my heart
But you wouldn’t know if you tear it apart
Just to find out what is there
It’s like asking a brain to care
After a person is dead
What is it that you said 
You don’t have time 
That might have been a good line 
If it had been true
But, man, I just don’t believe you
Not when you’re rocking back and forth 
On the chair on our porch
When we’re both eighty two 
No Bambi can take me away from you

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Protections And Charms

.Reading time 1 minute.
I burst onto the scene 
Like Taylor Swift in a dream 
Saying speak now, speak now 
I’ve got to somehow 
As you stood at the altar
Like a horse with his neck in a halter 
And I know you have things to prove
And someone you can’t afford to lose 
It’s just I had to spill the truth 
Like stardust over our youth
And maybe it’s a little too much 
13 going on 30 as we touch
After six years on the fly
And I swear that I would rather die
Than go to him now 
After all the crimes that he allow
To be committed in his name 
And I agree to play the game 
As the wolves descend 
On a wound that no one can mend 
And the blood is stained white
As he talks more shite 
In the name of being proud and true
And deferent to you 
But the beauty and the Beast 
Haven’t had enough of a feast 
Until all has been decided 
Am I just a girl that he derided 
When she got a little too close to the core 
I just bask on the shore 
As he asks where’s the rum gone
I say, baby, it’s been that way for so long 

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The Revelation

.Reading time 1 minute.
What’s all this self flagellation on the screen
As if I am not still the queen 
Of my own domain 
I look outside and it starts to rain
And in Ireland it pours
It’s still the same man my heart adores
Though I never let my mouth speak 
In case he might think that I am weak 
For having such tender feelings 
And for the reeling
That he induced 
When he produced
His sense of humour and a pistol
Now we’re out dancing in Krystle 
And its the bane of Dublin City in the mid 2000’s 
I remember when I thought love meant holding hands 
And going on walks on the beach
Is it what you come to teach 
That it is the unattainable I can never reach
And I may have been eighteen and naive 
But I still can’t believe
You would turn away from all we are
I know because there is a star 
Shining over the place where you abide
And I know that you reside
With another woman now 
And she keeps you coming, somehow
Always home to her gate
And there was never much on my dinner plate 
To offer up to the sky
Only that I was willing to die
To bring you to a place of balance 
And being out of luck is one of my talents 
When it comes to you 
I let you see because you wanted me to 

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Ag Féachaint An Troiblóid

.Reading time 2 minutes.
There is a power in witnessing the pain
Like there’s a strength that stands out in rain 
And getting soaked through the skin
I was saturated by him 
And I was fliuch báite go craiceann
And if you have any doubts it was you, young Ken 
Would I do it again
If that was the price to pay
But I’m not sure it was that way
I could feel the pulverise
When you looked me in the eyes
And if only one of us cries
I want to make sure it’s me
So that you are free of history
And, I, of the loss that comes with renegadery
Do you believe in infinity
And if you do then what are we 
Burning and turning eternally
On the one axis we spin
Then I see her with him 
And everything collapses into my hands
Like grains of sand that never land
On the beach I picked them from
Are you really gone
If you have someone to hold
Does it negate our fields of gold
You know the ones we ran through
When I was young and twenty one with you
On a Facebook screen
Like I’m dancing with a dream 
I made all by myself
Is my wealth
Imaginary 
And do you dare me 
To live without it
I doubt it
Could ever be
I won’t trade it in so I let you go free
And feel the reverberate
But something about that soul wait
For me to come back to base
It’s not in the stars I chase
But the ground I stand upon
Would you maybe write me a song? 

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The Band Of Our Lives

.Reading time 4 minutes.
One avenue
I remember you had a sly eye
And I toyed with the idea
Of you being my guy
And you were sweet
And gave me strength
I don’t remember 
Where the self consciousness went
As you look at me
I can see the stars
Cave
Like all my prison bars
And I wonder where you be
And how you are
Remember the night
I picked you up in my car
And you looked so jazzed
And I felt so fly
I’m in love
And I don’t know why
And you stared in my eyes
When I dropped you off
I hope we’re still friends
And all is not lost
And I wonder if I could 
Kick back with you
I dunno if you
Still want me to
That I could be your Jess
Is this too cringey
You bought me a drink
Was I too stingy 
With my affection
As we open our hearts
There was no ending
So the magic starts
And the years roll by
Like a filofax
And you told me
To relax 
As I worried 
A frayed line of thread
Leave me thinking 
Of you instead
And I wonder what 
You would say if you
Knew all
That I’ve been through
Would it mar the image
You seem to have of me
You always seem to
Just give it to me free
As we laugh
The bursting joy
Saw you turn 
Man from a boy
And I always clicked
So you would know that I
Hold you close
Somewhere that can never die
And I wonder if you
Have a woman now
And if there’s still
Space for me somehow
Coz I want you to know
It’s more than a crush
And I know it’s been a decade
But we don’t have to rush
Just find our way
What do you say
Could we vibe
Like back in the day
And if I look to you
Would you look away
Coz I really 
Want you to stay
And make a fortress
That can’t be stormed
Keep a place
So the bed is warmed
As I hold your arm
And we kiss
I should be glad
You gave me something to miss
In your forest pure
And your deep brown eyes
You kind of know my heart
And it’s no surprise
That you had it all
Planned out in your mind
And I didn’t mean
To leave you behind
It’s just days were dark
And I scared myself
With the storms in
A teacup I spilt as I knelt
And you were so casual
And so on fire
You took my hand
And lifted me higher
And I haven’t forgotten
The good you do
I just don’t know
What to say to you
Coz I love you with
The full of my heart
And I want to close
The gap that keeps us apart
And I’d call your name
Across the expanse
If I thought that you
Would be down to dance
And kiss like you
Are still in the club
You have all I am
In your arms, love
And I’d love 
To be your equal
If I’ve written a history
Would you be the sequel 
To a place 
Where all is calm
Is our distance 
Just a false alarm
That can be quieted
By your soothing breath
You’ve gotta know
It’s not over yet
And I hold you
In a place so dear
No matter the clouds
The sky is clear

The March Of Doom

.Reading time 1 minute.
They still end up married
No matter what I do
Coz I couldn’t stop
What he wanted to
Do in the dead of the night
But not with me, I hope that’s alright
And he may have lost me forever
But he’s not sad enough to not wed her 
And she’s another girl
With big hair and a curl
To frame a face that stares at you
In happiness and something true
And I look at her and wish it was me
But my gift was to set you free
So you could run a length of rope
And begin to hope
In a new sky
But I just dropped in to say hi
In case you forget that I exist
Even if I’m not something that you missed 
In the years that built
The house you may have willed 
Into form 
Six months before you were born

The Castle

.Reading time 1 minute.
I can’t make you here now 
I can only allow 
Life to make its way to me 
And set you free
From the shackles you chain
Around yourself like acid rain 
That just burns its way through
And if there’s anything we can do 
It’s to hold the might 
Of the fuel for our fancy in the candlelight
As everyone tries to blow it out 
And my mouth 
Reaches to you
So I could breathe my love into 
The lungs that you use 
To abuse
The air that turns into words
Because they all go unheard
By the great weight of swim 
I don’t know why I liked him 
I just did and it gripped hold of my soul 
My sister says I should just roll
In the sea for a century 
And turn into what she’s made of me
All sticks and stones
And brittle bones
She loves to break 
And I should forsake 
My soul for proprietary
But my heart just won’t let me 
It bashes me up against the wall
Then throws me over a waterfall
Til I’m all worn out and in confusion 
My brain is heavy with all the bruising 
It has taken 
And then I waken 
And look up into his eyes
And know a love that never dies
Again 
I thought I had given up on men

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The Pulling Pain

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I try not to feel it
Will time heal it 
If I just let it burn 
But the world just turn
And they grasp my arms
Tell me they’re keeping me safe from harm 
And I feel the burning within 
It all came from him
As I can barely hold on 
To what is long gone 
And who I am craves for his flesh
The terror to think he might regret
Ever knowing me 
I cry on the phone, the tears are flowing from me 
As he grits his teeth and his tongue clicks 
And one of his best friends says he can be a dick 
And I just think of that Taylor Swift song
What if I was wrong 
And you never loved anything 
And the ring 
I thought I would wear
Is just part of the dress that would tear
As she wears it down the aisle
And I watch you smile 
Right into the face of your demise
But there’s death in your eyes
And it’s something I cannot avoid
It’s not like just loving one of the boys
It brings me to the brink of surrender
And a day that you “barely remember”
And I wonder if the gaslit anthem plays
Or if there’s any truth in what he says 
When he says that I am beyond the pale
Is it just that I am not up for sale 
That gets under his skin 
And he was flush with the cash but I wanted him 
Not the dollars he owes 
To the person whose garden he sows
With seeds aplenty 
But I look at him and his face is empty
Devoid of all emotion 
And the commotion 
Gets too loud 
So I let the borrowed fools crowd
Around me and operate 
On the person who just wants a date 
Sometime in April, coz it’s just the right air 
It would be great if you could meet me there 
If she lets you slip away
Out of her grasp and the break of day
Sounds a new dawn 
If you look to me you will see what was never gone 
Only unobserved
I gave you my word 

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Manifesting Andy

.Reading time 1 minute.
Manifesting Andy, I try to look the other way
And pretend I cannot say 
What is the fire inside of me 
Is there another way for me to be 
And it caused me physical pain
When I first heard your name 
It was when I was carted off to the mental 
So much more than words in central 
Dublin and they said I needed to be there
As ambivalent as a girl without a care
When she was interrupted 
And have we fucked it 
Up
In the name of love
And it all comes around to the scene 
The way that it could wake my dreams 
The loins that long
The moment you belong 
When you’re with someone 
And you can see your son
And daughter running around 
And they’re not even born and you hear the sound
Of their peeling bells of laughter 
Just like their father 
As you sit by his side
How do I hide
I have the whole future planned out
And I’m afraid my doubt 
Will kill what we are
We may have all been forged within a star 
But we are black hole bound 
I know oblivion when I hear the sound 
Of your mystery ring 
Would you give me one if I gave you everything
And you just sigh and look away
So I leave it for another day

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Nostalgia For The Bad Old Times

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I’m nostalgic for the bad old times 
For wicked games and nine crimes
And Damien Rice plays while I sit in the car
Wondering what exactly you are 
And I traversed the lonely forest 
And you could keep me lonely but never honest
As I try to recapture UCD 
But it all just keeps escaping from me 
And it was the years of Marian and Dee
Of Elaine, Darragh and things that helped me go free
And when I rediscovered my dignity 
My ability to run after people disappeared 
And I could sense that the end neared
In 2011 and I cried
It was as though something had died 
In me, in us, in the world at large
And my sister says I live in the past but that barge
Never fails to take me home 
As I roam 
Empty streets and green triangles 
In the darkness and newfangled 
Angels on the brink
Of watching us all go down the kitchen sink
And he said something’s I don’t understand 
But he’s beautiful and oh, what a man
So I cut the thread
Coz I sense that he wants my bed
More than he wants my heart
And if it’s all about the art
Then why does he cry 
I sense diamonds at the edge of my eye 
As I try
To pierce through to his core
But it just eludes me more
Maybe everything is just as it seems
And I’m just waking from the dream 
That I made up in my own head 
I forget everything you said
But not what you stand for 
And I adore
The mists of time 
What would life be like if you were mine? 

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Back To My Old Place

.Reading time 1 minute.
It wouldn’t be Dublin if I wasn’t late 
And somewhere under the covers is a man I’d like to date 
And I think of him as I sit in this sojourn 
Do I always have to mourn
It’s been ten years since we talked
A decade since I walked 
My boots down the road
And everything slowed
Down, how do I get away
I cover my ears so I don’t hear what you say
Because you tell me that it’s over, over the hill 
And I know that you would kill
Just to feel alive
But somewhere in the dive
You found the water you wanted
You tell me and I can’t say that I amn’t daunted
By the weight of your magnitudinous pain 
And I just stand out in the rain 
So I can feel it on my skin 
But I never felt him 
Move with the beat
Touched his face when we’re feet to feet
And somewhere in a daydream, diamond true 
I think that I found you 
For a reason 
And for a season 
That lasted three hours long
I was the ocean in which you drown

By The Skin Of My Teeth

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Did I miss out on utter defeat
By the skin of my teeth
Or was it all an illusion
Something I found out about in my confusion
And can they really read my mind 
Or has it all been left behind 
In the melee of all and sundry 
On a darkened Monday 
As I just ponder the truth
And what I escaped from in my youth
Is the dark a punishment 
Or is it just where the light went 
When it dived into a black hole 
There’s something of my soul 
That resembles that monument 
And the paper is bent 
In the place where I folded it for you 
You know, it wasn’t because I wanted to 
Let you go that I left
It was the sheer audacity of the theft 
That occurred in broad daylight
Now there’s nothing I can say to put it right 
Because on the 21st of December
I don’t know if you remember 
It was twelve years ago 
And you acted like you were in the know
And that the prophecy was in vain
But I can feel the coming rain 
Like a shadow over the valley
And I wanted to be your alley
Til you revealed your truth to me 
And I balked in indignity 
You have a woman on the sly
And you never even told me goodbye 
You always kept me in your heart
Like a second cow at the mart 
Just so you could feel secure 
One ready and able and the other pure
But untouchable as a star
As I ponder what you are 
Somewhere in the serene 
Of someone else’s dream 

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The Yearning

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There’s always a yearning for the male form
More than just a body to keep me warm
But a heart to beat outside my chest 
A love that knows me better than the rest 
And yet I stumble 
And it feels like love is a jungle
Coz I put my whole self out there
Then he tells me that I don’t care 
That I’m just making rhymes
And that it means nothing, just a sign of the times
So I retract
Say, fuck that shit, and I take back 
What I had given free 
Because you will not do that to me 
And his face drops 
You would have sworn I had called the cops 
On his ass
And nothing of my class
Betrays my sigh
For I will love him til the day that I die 
And in between 
When everything is a dream 
And plays upon the screen 
Of day to day
His lip quivers and he is not okay
But I just have to release him to her grasp
Because he says we cannot last
And with every attempt I make 
He just says that I am fake 
And I watch as the wave break 
Across the sand
He wants me to understand
And I do 
But it’s not getting through to you 
So I let you pass
And hope sometime that your star will dart
Across my sky again 
I give up on the realm of men 

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The Brigade And The Cavalry

.Reading time 2 minutes.
She has to have noise
Like I have to have boys
Because when it gets too silent it blocks out the light
And she realises she is not alright 
So she scrolls on her phone 
Even though she is all alone 
And somewhere in the forest of tears
She finds the reason for all these years 
Spent in resistance to the cause
Spent in fury at a life on pause
And I can only dance
And hope that she gets a second chance
To be all she thinks she is 
But one thing’s for sure is that I am His
And she worries the thread
Frays it as she lies in bed
For the trouble of what amounts 
To the lies that she surmounts 
In order to maintain a coherent frame
And I cannot even mention his name 
Or it sets off a torrent of words 
To make sure the truth goes unheard
And that holy bird
Learns to live on a silent wing 
Because I gave him everything 
And I’m not taking it back 
Though they attack 
Me from every front and place
For daring to love his face
When the pretence drop 
And I am not 
The words she uses to condense 
Everything into the present tense 
It’s humiliating 
As if he’s just some guy I’m dating 
On the sly
And the reason why
Is more than she’s ever known 
She thinks she quenched it but the seeds that are sown
Only flourish in the darkest earth
And everything she uses to hurt
Me with 
For being a “bitch”
In modern parlance 
Is nothing, darlin’ 
I just brush it off
And whisper to him “all is not lost” 

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Lives And Weather

.Reading time 1 minute.
The life I’ve always wanted receded into the distance
And when I reached for it I only felt resistance 
As I confessed my secret heart
He took his wound and tore me apart 
And with tears in his eyes
He ripped into my disguise
Til I stand with paper hands
And look at the sands
Slipping through the cracks
I know we can’t go back
From this
I though you might kiss
Me when you found out the truth
Like I know you wanted to in our youth
And I put you off
And you splutter and cough
And tell me you have no time
For what I found in the diamond mine
And soldered to a band of gold for you
In a past life I was the one to
Go down on one knee
Reversed genders, same eternity
And I propose a solution to the problem
Because together, all of the troubles, we’d solve them
And you’ve found another partner
And it would hearten her
If she knew how you talked behind her back
And the girls that you attack
In her name
I don’t mean to lay the blame
But is it just gonna be the same
As it was two hundred years ago
With your blonde hair and the way you kissed me slow

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The Sadness That Winds Me

.Reading time 1 minute.
The grief crumples me like a deck of cards
And no one knows how hard
It got in the midst of the night
And I contemplated the death of the light
Coz everywhere I looked it was black
And the dealer stack
Everything against me 
My best friend resents me
And that person that wants to take me down
Looks like she runs this town
As she commands the sea
And turns the whole tide upon me
And as it rushes and consumes 
Something pulls me from those rooms
Into a place I’ve never been
But somehow had already seen
Maybe in a dream or through a past life
And every man looks for a wife
When he reaches a certain age
I just reach for the page
Because the immortal hue
Has stopped shining from you
It’s like you buried it somewhere
When you say that I just don’t care
And it’s impossible to get through to you
So I say goodbye too
As you hang up the phone
Could you just leave me alone?

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The Far Distant Shore

.Reading time 1 minute.
I was a country girl to you 
When you let me go 
And I should have let you know
That there’s no far distant shore
You can traverse that would make me love you no more
And you’ve been closer to me than any man
And you’ve access to places that no one can 
Get into 
Because I know that you
Can be trusted
And I think I might have been busted
In New York City
And it may have been a pity 
That the stormed never rained a cloud
On a dream that would have made you proud
And there are vicissitudes that lie
Above the ground where we will die 
And fade into the earth 
I know it hurt 
But don’t let that blind you 
To the people that mind you
From what you seek
Don’t think that I am weak 
Just because I don’t play the fool
That I used to in school
To detract their eyes
From my truth among the lies
That abound
I answer when I hear your sound

Are These Just Dreams?

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I think what it would be like to marry my man
And know that I can 
Touch him anytime I want 
And not live in the daydream haunt
Like a house that no one lives in 
When did it become about men and women
And the politics therein 
He calls me a bitch and I just look at him
Like the punk he is 
And the junk he’d kiss
If only he could get close enough 
Tells me that this is love
But we both live in a world on fire
And it never seems to tire
Of reminding us both
That we live by the coast
On a foreign shore 
If we think we love each other more 
Than the next pair 
And I stare 
At her hair 
As it flows over her shoulders
And its as though she could roll boulders
Away from the mouth of the tomb 
And I wonder if there would be room 
For me in that gigantic heart of hers
Lost in memories and what we were’s 
But it doesn’t bring them back
And the next country attack 
Us for what we represent 
How could hell be heaven sent 
If what they say is true
The proof is in the pudding, do you 
Eat it so you know it’s good
Or are you still lost in the wood
That seem to shelter your storm 
But the heat of the fire is still warm 
And it burns like your soul 
As it welds me back to whole
In our iron and wine
She looks into my eyes and I am fine 

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Emotionality

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I get slated for being emotional and sincere
There was that time I told you I hold you dear
And you attacked and ripped my hands
Away from your paper thin heart and the sands
Flow out of your hourglass
As you try to make a thing last
That never will 
Because time will kill
The bodies that you preserve
And the girl that you serve
Must one day kiss you for the last time
And my only crime 
Was knowing there will come a day
When one or the other of us will go away
And I can’t speak forever when I see the horizon
And I don’t know what you have your eyes on
As you stare into space
Meanwhile I just stare at your face
Looking at the grass
And time will pass
But something stays the same 
There is a love that will not lay the blame 
Not even when your dripping venom
Tries to make an enemy 
Of me
Then return to eternity
Where it can fester its wound 
I saw it all and the doom 
Ate me up from the middle 
And the best part of me may be hidden
But you can find it if you look 
You don’t have to do anything by the book 
You swear by
And I hear you cry 
In my dreams
How does a man come apart at the seams 
When you just tell him the truth
That you idolise our youth
And that time will also be the proof
Of what cannot be destroyed
We are not just girls and boys
We are immortal souls
Water though the wave rolls
And breaks onto the land 
I wonder if I take your hand 
Would you be a friend 
Coz true love will never end 

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The Ocean That Sees

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Her heart shatters like glass
Like images of our past
When I am eighteen years old
Listening to the stories they’ve told
And it’s “Brothers and Sisters” on the screen 
As I try to hold onto all I had been 
All this time 
But it breaks apart everything that’s mine
And I found I couldn’t speak 
I thought it was coz I was weak 
And depressed and schizophrenic 
They told me the car just needs a mechanic 
And she gets out a wrench 
And that year I wasn’t on the bench
I was the captain of the team 
When we won on the field of dreams 
And I wrote out the speech I would make to the girls 
Before we would live like we were each other’s world 
And my sister told me not to over think it 
But we won the cup and now we drink it 
Every single time the water flows
There is something that never goes
And I’m sure they think I don’t care
Because I walked out of there
But it was just because I saw
The way that the law
Could be bent in our favour 
And I am nobody’s saviour 
But I will let the light flow through me
Like I did in the years when time was free
And we wore yellow and blue 
I don’t know if you know that you 
Mean so much to me 
Spanish for beautiful and infinity 

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